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49: Impact Effect w/ Jim Morris · Harder Than Life

• 0:00
  I'm Kelly Siegel and this is harder than life a podcast about self-love self-awareness business and health We tell outrageous stories and boil everything down to simple practical advice. You can start using today. Let's get living
• 0:15
  Welcome to a very special Heart of the Life episode with my good friend Jim Morris, who's throwing the event of the year this Friday, October 27th, in downtown Nashville. We're here to talk mostly about the event, but also a little about you, my man. There is so much depth to you, so let's get started.
• 0:33
  You said that your mission is to influence 1,100,100 entrepreneurs. How will Impact 23 this Friday kick off this event or kick off that request?
• 0:47
  Well, we got several hundred people in the room that are looking for change and transformation. You know, when I think one of the unique things about Impact Effect 23 is I'm calling every single ticket holder and attendee and having a conversation with them. So I have a list of how I can potentially influence, who I can sit them next to, and who they're looking to specifically connect with. And it's been electric, man. It's been absolutely wild because...
• 1:15
  Through that process, I'm two questions in and I'm like, boom, dang, I'm sitting next to you next to this person and I'm going to introduce you to this person. And it's really just a collaboration of utilizing resources and enterprising to ensure that I make a potential big, unique impact for someone this Friday, man, downtown Nashville. Let's go.
• 1:38
  This is going to air on Thursday, so we'll have one day. And you can get to Nashville so simple. And it's such a good town. And even if you don't like country music, there's so much to do. But if you do like country music, go there for the weekend and have a blast and see this lovely event. Jim is just your persona in your energy and your love just exudes out of all of you. And this event is going to be, like I said, the event of the year. To run down the list of speakers who are going to be there again.
• 2:09
  We're going to have Tim Story, Janine Driver, Brian Galky, Tiffany Knapper, Craig Siegel, Arturo Johnson, Jim Morris. I mean, it just goes on and on, dude. It's going to be wild. Cody Askins is going to join us. Coach Michael Burt will be there. We really just wanted to jam-pack the value.
• 2:30
  That Coach Burt, I just got introduced to him very recently. He is one impactful, no pun intended, dude. He's serious. And if you don't know who he is, man, look him up. But also, if you're not following Jim Morris, he's the real Jim Morris on all –
• 2:47
  handles and it'll be in the show notes so this guy is an up-and-comer and crushing things starting off and it's not even sorry I was at your last event and you're speaking I was captivated by it so but you've spoken extensively and even our mutual friend Craig Siegel has stressed the need for a personal branding why is that and how does let's say a realtor accomplish that
• 3:11
  I think you need your digital reputation, which AKA is called personal branding. And at the end of the day, we can go back hundreds of years, reputation is important. It builds authority, it builds credibility, and it puts you in a position of strength based on the clarity, messaging, and confidence in which you can equate those conversations to. So for me specifically...
• 3:34
  I think it's the most important thing because it's a direct representation of who I am. And if you get your messaging correct and you spend time on it, really understand who you are today, who you want to be and where you're going, then I think your personal brand is that platform and opportunity for you to grow and tell the world what's important to you and where you want to go and what you want to do, man.
• 3:58
  Digital reputation. You know, that's the first time I heard that, or at least it's the first time I'd sunk into my thick head. I wrote it down right away. I was like, hmm, boy, my digital reputation prior to me launching harder than life was probably wasn't good. I'm with you, bro. I'm with you. So journey, man, you know, we got to just keep growing, baby.
• 4:22
  Live and learn, live and learn. So I'm kind of, I read through, when I was doing the show prep and I was reading through all yourself and we connected at such a quick human level that I never really dug deep into business because there was such an energy level
• 4:38
  connection with the two of us i'm like i just felt drawn to you and i there's there's like i said there's depth to you uh we started about personal branding now we're going to go into sales and marketing because you're literally a master of all things entrepreneurship so sales and marketing are what makes the world go around and i'm a huge proponent that communication and vulnerability are the foundations of these would you mind sharing a vulnerability story with the listeners to connect with you
• 5:03
  course. So I've messed it all up, man. And I've done it multiple times. But the reality of it is, is you have to learn and you have to grow. And for me, I'm a hands-on experiential learner, right? And understanding that has allowed me to really put myself in a position where
• 5:26
  I actually appreciate the person who I used to be because that person decided to make a change one day. Right. So I have to love on that person. But Kelly, I mean, let's just dive right into it. I had a drinking problem, man. You know, I mean, I think that's why we connected. And I was told you some crazy shit, some crazy stories. And I know we probably don't want to dive down all of those now. But the reality of it of it is, is.
• 5:51
  I've taken a lot of risk in business. I've done several different things. I've had poor partnerships. I've lost all my money. I've built it back. I found my way into investing and real estate. But at the end of the day, man, I think the reality of it is, is I'm not perfect and I failed multiple times.
• 6:12
  You know, we tend to see the highlight rails online and we tend to see, you know, everything that's going well. But the reality of it is, is this event, this conference I've been working on for a year is the hardest thing I've ever done. And the reason why I believe is because I care so much and I'm extremely intentional. There's no cutting corners.
• 6:31
  So for me, a vulnerability story that I could share with you more recently would be, you know, we lost a major sponsor for this event, $50,000. You know, that hurts. But the reality of it is, is it hurts me. It doesn't hurt the attendees. And what I realized in that process is this conference was never about Jim Morris. Yeah.
• 6:56
  The idea started, wow, how am I going to benefit? Wow, my personal brand is going to blow up. Wow, I want to meet so many people. Two weeks into that, I'm like, Jim, what are you doing, man? This has nothing to do with you.
• 7:08
  Your love, your passion is to help others and be the tiny piece to a potential future success. And that tiny piece can just be as simple as an intro. That tiny piece could be as simple as, hey, man, we just had a miscarriage in our family and it put me out for a couple of days, but I had to get back up on the horse and keep grinding because I had such a massive thing coming up, a massive opportunity to help others.
• 7:36
  Right. So it's just sharing things like that and being the tiny sliver in someone's future potential success or at least connecting for an opportunity is exactly where I want to be and how I want to live my life. There he is. That was brilliant. Thank you for sharing that. People got to go back and rewind and listen to that because that's just real life right there. You're a young man. You're 33. Just turned 34. Yeah.
• 8:03
  34. See, I talked to you on your birthday. It was good to speak to you. 34 years young, but wise beyond them. You went there with the drinking, and so let's just spend a minute on that, just because that resonates with people, you know. Everybody's like, oh, I don't have a drinking problem, or I only have one, and then there's always a little more to it. Tell me about why you drank and then why you decided to give it up.
• 8:30
  I think I was suppressing the emotions of potential failed business ideas, childhood trauma. Really, I worked in the corporate world for a while. That gave me PSD. Literally, it took me two and a half years to get over one position with a company.
• 8:49
  And I think for me, it was suppressing those emotions, right? You know, when you hate what you're doing, when you hate your job, when you hate your boss, and it's not because the work, it's because of the ethics. And until I realized that I can control what I do, I can make the change, and it's really up to myself to define where I want to go and how to get there, I was suppressing those emotions, right?
• 9:17
  And like you said early on this call, I think for me, I'm a high energy person. You know, I carry a presence. I'm also bald and 6'5". But the reality of it is… And beautiful.
• 9:30
  Thank you. Thank you. The reality of it is, is at the end of the day, I wasn't happy. I didn't like what I was doing. And when I was around people, typically drinking was when I was having the funnest and best time. Now, of course, all those times don't end fun and well, and you make stupid decisions, spend thousands of dollars and, you know, wake up feeling like shit the next day. We've all been there.
• 9:56
  But the reality of it is was, dude, it was just a cycle. It was a cycle. And it's once you go to every bar, once you get into every, you know, club, once you get into all these private clubs and you're doing all these events and going here, man, it's all the same. And what I realized was, although it got me a lot of business, it was really just doing business with other drunks, you know? Oh, oh, yeah.
• 10:23
  Say that again. When I realized a lot of business, got me a lot of business, but I realized that I was doing business with a lot of drunks. Oh, Jim, you just hit me right in the heart. Uh, you know, part of what we're doing at national technology, imagine my T company is that man, I used to do business with my drinking bodies. And when I quit realized it was a house of cards and,
• 10:48
  And a lot of people I've inspired, but some people we lost. I don't mean lost their lives, which some people we have, but some people ain't meant to go on the final journey with you, but then I meet amazing people like you. And I got to tell you, I've said this to you a million times, but I never said it on air is I'm proud of you and I'm inspired by you. I'm proud of you.
• 11:10
  I wish the listeners, I will be fully vulnerable. I wish that I would have done it at 33 because I think that's when you started. I started at 43. So I want those 10 years back. I wish I could have them back. That's a regret of mine. It is. So you have 10 years on me. So in 10 years, I expect to see you crushing anything that I've done. So it needs us to say, drinking didn't work for you, huh?
• 11:37
  Not really. Did you forgive yourself? Oh, yeah. 100%. And I think that was really the transformation for me personally, is I had to get to the point where I said, you know what? Instead of beating myself up, I'm like, man, you know what? I can't hate that guy. Because one day he just flipped the script and he was done. And that day was October 1st, a year ago. So I just came up on one year.
• 12:07
  Hell yeah, dude. And you know what, too? Is there any coincidence that your beautiful daughter was born right around? How old is she? She's going to be one year next month, so 15 days from now. Hmm. Coincidence. I think not. Look at that smile. What's her name again? Ellie. Ellie Marie Morris.
• 12:29
  Ellie Marie. That is so beautiful. And look at your smile. That's what all this is about, dude. I just spent the weekend in Florida with my daughter. And I was in my fields all weekend long because with different levels, you face different devils and you'll see that it's.
• 12:46
  I wish I could say I'm coming up on five years sober and I wish I could say it's, you know, there's a point where it just ends and it just doesn't, man. You look at everybody having a good time and I took a bunch of family members boating and everybody was drinking and they're like, I got a bone to pick with you. You're your morning videos. You know, I, I feel triggered. It's like not my responsibility. It's exactly what I'm trying to do. So, but you look around, everybody's having a good time and you think,
• 13:14
  why am I not having a good time right now? And it's because you're thinking about what my meeting with Jim Morris on Monday or, or what I got to do to take over the world or how can I get better? Or how can really truthfully, I was thinking, how can I inspire these people who are telling me that they're triggered? I just, I live a great life and I want everybody to come with me. I just posted that yesterday. I was like, I want everybody to win everybody. Some people just seem to not want to. And that makes me sad.
• 13:43
  But I love it for you. Remember when we had dinner at the top of the JW Marriott in downtown, nice view and all that. It's funny. You said, you know, you want people to live a great life with you because when I made this transformation and I just didn't, I, I'm, this is like my mind just blew. I didn't even make this comparison until now, Kelly. Um,
• 14:08
  Right before I made that transition, I said, I want to go to the JW Marriott and I want to have a dinner with all my closest friends. I do business or not do business with, but people that I can call family and I'm going to pay for it and I'm going to spend $25,000.
• 14:28
  one day just for that experience to remind myself I got there. And it's funny because when we had that dinner, I didn't spend 25K, but there was a lot of really close friends and we were just meeting, man. And now we're here today. So it's like, how do I keep that momentum? And I think having that clarity of where I want to go, but ultimately that defining characteristic and theme of exactly what you just said, Kelly. Yeah.
• 14:54
  How can I bring people with me? How do I how can I make sure other people succeed? And at the end of the day, that's what lights me up and fills my cup is just watching others succeed, watching others win. This isn't a competition.
• 15:09
  And I think earlier you asked me about real estate. I think that's the number one problem in the industry is realtors have scarcity mindset opposed to abundance. We should be collaborating. We should be talking. We should be building relationships, not, oh, you're going to steal my client.
• 15:25
  And I think that's just a small example that can go throughout every industry, every business, and every entrepreneur is just be you, be unique, and give with a heart that's full, and be yourself. And I think that's going to equate abundance opposed to that scarcity, especially in crowded markets.
• 15:48
  We're going to talk about that in a second, but I want to go back to that dinner because I was thinking I have kept in touch. And it was only a couple of months ago, but I've kept in touch with every single person at that table. We I've had one conversation with every single person at that table since. And especially I've already had Brandon on the show and he just had a successful event with Tim Story in Nashville. And he he and I hit it off. Well, his story.
• 16:12
  about Mount Everest and Ric Flair. I just can't stop laughing about it. But we're going to talk a little bit more about the way I'm going to skip thing. When we were at dinner, you made certain that everyone could hear everyone and that there was only one conversation going on at once. Why was that?
• 16:31
  So as I've thrown events and as I've prepared to throw this event, I've really dove into the art of gathering. Read a couple books on it. There's a couple snippets and articles that I found online that relate to it that go back to ancient times. And what I realized was the amount of attention when you're digitally on a Zoom is
• 16:58
  is way greater than when you're at a table or around several people. Because when you're on a Zoom call, there's usually one person talking and everybody focused and listening. And I wanted to create an experience at that dinner that felt as if all eyes were on one person. So that way they could truly get across their concept. They could truly share about them, their self, their life, their story. Yeah.
• 17:24
  Because I didn't want certain pockets to occur. And I really wanted everybody to understand who is at the table, what they're about, and understand how you could potentially collaborate and build a relationship and ultimately a friendship with that person. I didn't want you and me to be on the corner of the table and have a 45-minute conversation and no one really got to learn or know about Kelly.
• 17:48
  Right. And I, you know, hijacked the time and didn't give you the opportunity. Right. And I think it goes back to just setting people up for success and hopes that they'll connect, build relationships and grow. Yeah. And I, you know, it's proverbial who's at your table. You know, that literally is the epiphany of it, because to my right was Neil Filora, who's going to be your emcee to the events and his amount of brilliance and depth.
• 18:18
  I think it's overshadowed because of his looks sometimes. I love him dearly, but when he starts talking, it's like me. When I start talking, you're expecting some dumb jock, but then I speak and I'm like, all right, I might know a few things. But Neil, I mean, I don't feel dumb around many people, but...
• 18:36
  that dude is special and you got a great winner that's gonna have that event flowing really well. And then I believe Craig hired one of the young kids to be their social media manager. So business happened at that table, so kudos to you. Who's at your table? If you're gonna sit around with a bunch of people talking about other people, you ain't gonna get shit done. But if you get people talking about things in life and how can we help each other, look what happens.
• 19:03
  I think every single, your event's going to be filled with CLS family members. I'm just sad I can't freaking my schedule. Just to get there that day to meet you, I had to move 15 things around. I flew in, flew right out first thing in the morning. I think I was on three hours sleep. But, hey, I'll sleep when I die. But that was so much fun. It was awesome.
• 19:25
  that I still never let Craig fricking lit that down. I I've, I'm headed to New York this weekend after it went to, to see him. I got to stop in on Saturday. And I asked him, I was like, should I stay at the, what was that? I walk in. What the heck is this place?
• 19:43
  Oh, man. You know what? He's so humble. I love him dearly. So you were a successful realtor or are a successful realtor and now in personal development. But what inspired you to pursue this event planning? You might have just touched on it, but dig deep into that.
• 19:58
  So in 2020, I started this company, Throwing Events. And why I did it was because I saw the writing on the wall. I owned a business at the time, small business, and I had the vision that all the big box companies were going to stay open and the small companies were going to get crushed. And that's exactly what happened.
• 20:20
  in the United States during that time in 2020. So I just got a bunch of entrepreneurs and business owners together to just share contacts and insight in hopes that someone could help another fellow entrepreneur and keep business flowing, right? As I was having conversations with people, what I realized was everybody has put everything into their company and we're about
• 20:50
  Throughout that process, as I invested in the real estate and started transacting and selling 50, 60 homes a year, what I realized was the event business was just a fun networking and party, you know? And I was drinking a lot at the same time, so why wouldn't I love a party, right? And why wouldn't I love a party where I can curate the room? And why wouldn't I love a party where, you know, I can get drunk and no one can say shit to me because it's my party.
• 21:19
  Right. So what I realized was I was protecting myself and making sure I was setting up every month a good time. And through that process, I realized that was that entrepreneurs needed more. And after COVID and during COVID, no one was throwing events. No one was bringing in people to speak and no one was putting on gatherings where people could grow, connect and learn. Right.
• 21:43
  So when I was selling a lot of houses, I realized, man, I'm doing this for the wrong reason. So about a year and a half ago, I started bringing in speakers and I started really curating the room and really dialing in to certain people and how I could help them and create the most impact. So over the years, this thing has really transformed and grown, which is a good thing, right? Because ultimately I've transformed and I've grown.
• 22:10
  So now you fast forward to today with several hundred people in a massive iconic venue in downtown Nashville. And like I said, man, the event hasn't even happened. And we've already changed lives and made connections just by me calling and connecting with attendees. You know, with this far in, and even put the thing, it's impactevents23.com, correct? impacteffect23.com.
• 22:36
  impact effect 23.com make sure that's in the show notes grant so we can order even at the last minute they'll listen he won't turn he's like my jewish brother we never turn away anybody that comes to uh to to dinner so uh if you show up last minute hey we'll find a spot for you um
• 22:57
  I wrote so many things down. You're less than three years into this, and yet you're having this major event. So kudos to you. I'm really proud of you. And drinking and working, boy, oh, boy, did I rationalize my behavior. I remember saying, I was like, well, I'm working. And that is such bullshit. It is. It is. It's just an excuse to pour another drink, man. That's all it really was.
• 23:27
  man, you are hitting home. I needed to hear this. There are no coincidences. I needed to hear this this morning because I'm telling you, I was out all weekend long in Florida and I'm watching people. And it's like, I sometimes think, you know, I can have one drink. What the hell's the big deal? I quit cold Turkey and I'm not like I'm going to pick up and have 16. And then I go, no, I can't. I just won't get, I just don't give up on myself and I just don't quit. So does that happen? Yeah.
• 23:55
  Do you have those insights or those flashes into your brain? No, not really. Once a year? Less than that. It's just, Jim, it's just, I'm in this, I'm in a, I'm really killing old Kelly. He's really, he's really dead and I'm struggling.
• 24:16
  To embrace the new Kelly. I'm doing things that I've never done before. I'm extremely uncomfortable all the time, but I'm loving every minute of it, and I just keep trudging forward as you're doing. The same thing. You're just 10 years sooner than me and 13 years younger and twice as handsome. The only thing I got going for me is I got hair. That's a good head of hair, too. Damn.
• 24:40
  I try. I try. Where do you see impact events in the next few years then? You're three years here. What's give me three more years.
• 24:50
  Yeah. Well, I think I really hit my stride. And I think that I have full clarity on where I want to bring it, which has given me the confidence to get uncomfortable. You know, Kelly, you just said something that really hit home with me, man. Like, and I did a post about this the other night. I'm the most uncomfortable I've ever been for the longest stint of time that it's ever been.
• 25:14
  And when I look back on it and I go, okay, I lived in the corporate world and I made hundreds of thousands of dollars. And then I transitioned into an organic frozen beverage company and made several hundred thousands. And then it failed. And then I sold it. And then I did consulting company. And then my partner left. And then I built the event company. Didn't really know what to do with it or how to help people. But through those processes, I was never as uncomfortable as I am today.
• 25:40
  And I think it's because I care more than anything I've ever put my hands on. I care and I'm extremely intentional and I'm putting in more effort. I'm not sleeping because I'm excited, not because I'm stressed. And that's such a different experience. I'm not sleeping because I'm excited, not because I'm worrying. And, you know, when I when I wake up.
• 26:07
  And that stress rises and this happens and this is coming at me and this needs to get done and we lose a sponsor and this happens. And I'm like, dude, this is all for a good reason. Like, this is my calling. This is exactly what I'm looking to do forever. So you asked about the future years. Yeah.
• 26:27
  We're going to do it bigger and better. We're going to bring in different folks. We're going to bring in different situations, scenarios, and stories. And ultimately, my goal is to disrupt the conference and event industry in the professional development world. There is no sales pitches from stage. This isn't a pitch fest.
• 26:45
  You know, we are going to curate the room and sit people next to each other. We're going to interview you prior. We ask you to fill out questions when you buy a ticket. I've refunded five people during the follow-up call because of poor attitude, and I didn't want them to be a cancer in the room for all the other folks who are looking to give and also gain.
• 27:05
  So throughout that process, what I've realized is the integrity of the room and having the right person in there matters most. The speakers are great, but they come second. The VIP bags, the experience, the AV, the audio, the fired up, the inspiration, that comes third.
• 27:24
  Number one is the person in the room because that's what creates change and that's what builds community that will help each other flourish, especially in hard times, especially in uncomfortable times like we're both in today.
• 27:38
  27 minutes in, man, this is a masterclass. And I've gotten to know you over the last couple of months. And I know that all this is true. So I hope that the listeners can feel the genuine and authenticity because it is true. And that event is going to be great. And you're going to do better and better and better, everyone. And I got to tell you, you know, a month ago.
• 27:58
  not even a month ago, like three weeks ago, we spoke and you were down on your luck. And I gave you a quick pep talk and, and, and you were like, Hey, I'm going to take today to be sorry, sad. And then we're going to be right back at it. And during that whole time, you have kept smiling, kept grinding. And I got to point out the fact is you have options. You could go back to corporate America. You could take a drink.
• 28:24
  That would be for the week. So kudos to you. I'm really impressed by you. I can't wait to hear about the event. And I know it's going to be impactful for everybody and successful in more than the ways of just monetarily. And this is progress over perfection, Jim.
• 28:47
  You said yourself, you had the idea of having this event three years ago, and here you are having it. Despite all odds. And that's what makes it tougher. So there'll be a day where there's thousands of people in a room. And I'm going to be sitting next to you and remember we did that podcast?
• 29:03
  And this is all part of the evolution. You have to believe in invisible progress and believe that there's going to be setbacks because by gosh, O'Malley, there always is. That's what my day was yesterday. I'm sitting in Florida, beautiful home with my daughter and just all of my feelings. And you know what? I sat in them and I lived through it. And I'm here today in Michigan now shooting a podcast with you. I think too, Kelly, it's like the setbacks just set me up for a good comeback. Yeah.
• 29:34
  You know, and if I can look at it like that, then it just gives me that fire that before that rocket ship takes back off, you know.
• 29:43
  You can't beat a man that never gives up. And that's me. I just will not give. I'm relentless. It's a core value of NTM being tenacious. You kick me. You knock me down. You better not be there when I stand back up. And by gosh, I am going to stand back up and come with a vengeance and scorch earth. And we share that. So that's why I love you. What gets you out of bed in the morning?
• 30:08
  I mean, right now I do everything for my daughter. You know, I look back on the tough times and the hard things and the getting up early and the late nights. I mean, dude, I was up to 1.30 last night putting together VIP swag bags.
• 30:23
  You know, and I'm not going to lie. I mean, literally 12 hours ago, I was like, oh, fuck this. I'm beat. I need to get sleep. I got I'm shooting three podcasts today. And I'm like, no, you know what? Because if my daughter was awake, which she's not, she's teething with a fever of 103, by the way, um,
• 30:45
  But if she was right there standing behind me and heard what I was myself talk, I'd be I'd be fucking embarrassed. I would be embarrassed. So, no, I'm going to finish this task because Ellie will finish what she starts. And I think that's what's really helped my transformation, Kelly. A year ago, I created right before she was born on my phone. I still have it. A document called Ellie will be like dot, dot, dot.
• 31:14
  And I went through all the characteristics of what I want my daughter to be like. And in that moment, what I realized was I had to change everything. And that's the day that I stopped drinking. That's the day that I stopped smoking nicotine. That's the day that I started working out, eating better. Because what I realized, Kelly, was 50% of that list I wasn't.
• 31:36
  And if I wasn't going to be 100% of the characteristics on that list, then there's no fucking way my daughter was going to be. Because I am the man of the house and I lead by example. And at the end of the day, if I don't change, then I'm going to position my daughter in a way that I have regret every single day of my life until I expire.
• 32:00
  blammo. And I'm going to tell you, fast forward, my daughter's 14. And we had conversation. I told her, I said, dad's battling feelings right now. And I want to share it with you because I want you to understand that there's going to be moments where I'm not going to be my best self. I'm battling through something. And I'm not looking for sympathy. I just want people to know this vulnerability. And I want her to know, and I said, I'm doing the best I can right now. And she said, I see that dad, and I love you very, very much. And
• 32:28
  we talked a little bit about she encountered a situation and she said, dad, I'm really proud of how I handled the situation with some friends. You know, she's a high school freshman girl. So it's, it's tough, man. You're, you're, you're, you're, you're, so she had some haters and, uh, she dealt with it without responding, without reacting and just listen to them. And it smoothed itself out. And I looked at her and I said, babe,
• 32:56
  All the crap I'm going through right now, that's the best news I could ever hear because the cycle of abuse stopped with me and she gets to live a life. So you're going to get to feel that. You just did it much quicker. I think I stopped. If it's five years, she was nine. So...
• 33:15
  She still remembers me having cocktails here and there. I didn't do it much around her, but either way, when you hear that and you see that has nothing better, man. So kudos to you. And that's, you're going to feel that forever. What do you do for you though? What, what, what do you do for you? Cause those are great. Our kids are in our, are a great why, but what do you do for you?
• 33:41
  Outdoors man hikes with my wife and the baby, you know I
• 33:47
  That getting out of the city, getting out of the hustle and bustle and from one conference room to the next and Zoom to Zoom to Zoom and hitting the dialer, making calls. I just need to get out in wilderness, go for a hike. And what I realized when I was transitioning and selling my first business during the pandemic was –
• 34:13
  I was like, how did I get through that? Because I thought my life was ending. And what I realized was, man, I went on 33 hikes during that time. And it's what brings me back down. You know, I've got to get out and I've got to get that fresh air, get some exercise and just be with myself, you know, listen to my thoughts. Like, it's funny when you said, when I say hiking with my wife, you know,
• 34:39
  We don't have a conversation when we hike, but we want to be in the same presence, right? We want to be a family. But she's working on herself in her head and I'm working on myself in my head. And that clarity happens for me when I'm in that environment. And I think environment's extremely important, you know, because there is no noise in.
• 35:01
  And I get to create that environment. So that's what helps me the most, man, is just getting out on a hike, little exercise, being in the presence of the family, but really just spending time in my own head. You just nailed what I was doing all weekend long. But when I was going through the pandemic, everybody was day drinking and I was sober and I was alone a lot. And I would go outside and go on walks by myself. And it was very...
• 35:31
  it was a microcosm of how I grew up. I was always alone and battling the world. So it's me against the world, but I'm learning that I have amazing people like you and Craig and Neil and even Brandon to reach out to at any moment.
• 35:47
  And just say, dude, I'm not feeling it today. And they'll breathe in. They'll give you a hug, a virtual hug, a real hug, and be there for you. So we're building relationships that are lifelong relationships. These aren't built around commiserating and booze. So, again, I love this for you, and I love that you have your wife. And I tell you, I live through your Facebook post because when I saw Ellie walking,
• 36:13
  oh it's it's by the way it only gets harder from here because then she's going to be all over the place and and this is is this your first time that with a temperature that high because it gets freaky yeah we had 101 the 103 we're like okay what do we do what do we do she'll be okay there the bodies are resilient it's it you know me being a single dad and i had her that little i was like
• 36:39
  What do I, you know, oh my God, if something happens, I'm going to, it's on my watch, but it's amazing how they just, they grow up and you're going to love that it's a daughter. So you're six foot five, bald and beautiful. What reaction do people have when you walk into a room? A lot of people tell me they can feel my presence. I equate that to energy. Some may equate that to height. I feel your love.
• 37:06
  But I think that's the thing. I want to be present, not for myself. And that was a huge transformation for me. And when I am present for others, that's what gives me energy in life. So when someone's having an amazing conversation and I can interact or join it, I want to show up with presence, energy, and excitement and position the person I know
• 37:34
  based on what I know about them, you know? So I would say I, you know, it's, I'm hard to miss. It sounds so simple to be present, but it is one of the hardest things. I, I was with family that I love that support me and everything all weekend long. And I said to my daughter on the plane home, I said, I apologize for not being present. She said,
• 37:56
  What do you mean? She's like, you were absolutely engaged. I said, you know, I've been battling it all weekend. I have, I've been in, my thoughts have been elsewhere and I, I,
• 38:06
  I hate that. It's one of the things that I don't like about myself. And I'm very, very hard on myself. Very. And I imagine you are too. And if we were to vocalize the things that we actually say to ourselves, people would be like, dude, stop. You know, if you read the four agreements, it says be impeccable with your word. But my expectations are off the charts. And I meet them and exceed them. And I just, I want, and that's why I resonate with you. So, yeah.
• 38:36
  I love that answer. Thank you. What are your non-negotiables? That's a good one. Um, because I've actually seen my non-negotiables change and it's interesting. Like I had a conversation with someone recently about your why. And I said, well, my why changes.
• 38:56
  Like, well, what do you mean? And I'm like, because there's different accomplishments and goals that relate back to a core why of family and Ellie and my daughter, right? But in the seasons and throughout the processes, there's certain things that have to happen now. There's certain things that can happen later. So that focus kind of really drills down. And my why does change. You know, before I had a daughter, it was Caitlin, right? And now it's Caitlin and my daughter, which is Caitlin's my wife. Right.
• 39:25
  But I would say my non-negotiables, day in, day out, at the core value is not going to sleep mad. I need to get my head right before I rest it on the pillow. No matter what happens, no matter how stressed I am. And I think that gives me peace. You know, a lot of people, like I was saying earlier, like I didn't sleep the other night because I was excited, not stressed out.
• 39:55
  And I think that's huge because I sit with my thoughts and I go, okay, if this happened negative or this was bad or this didn't go well, or I got a meeting and I really need to land this deal,
• 40:09
  then I don't think about the things that happen if I don't do it. I just start to think about the things that happen when I do do it. So I kind of remove that negative mindset every night before I pass out and go to sleep. And I think that's what allows me to sleep when there's a lot on the line. Let's clarify something. I think you may have responded.
• 40:31
  inappropriately or, or, or what was the word? Cookie cutter-ish. I don't see you ever getting mad. Do you really get mad? Yeah. You said, I, if I get mad, I don't ever find myself mad anymore. I just know that it's, it's rejections, redirection. It's God saying that's not for you, bro. And in the past I used to push until I got it and then it would fade quickly. So you do find yourself getting mad? Yeah.
• 41:01
  I think for me, similar to you is I, okay, I'll give you an example.
• 41:10
  When I, when you and you came to the event this summer in Nashville that I threw, Craig Siegel was there. He spoke. This was early on in Craig and I's relationship. We've only, we've met once before that in person. We've talked and we spoke together at another event and, and we got to build a relationship, but Craig and I didn't really know each other super well. And...
• 41:35
  I got off stage, went back into the green room and immediately grabbed Craig and was like, okay, I need your feedback. What could I have done better here? This, this, this, this, and this. I didn't think I pivoted in transition in this way. I choked up on my words. I could have been a little bit more clear. And he was just like, dude, you crushed it. But like, dude, I love that. You're just, you're asking it like.
• 42:02
  This doesn't happen often. Like, you know what I mean? Like, cause a lot of people come in with egos and a lot of people come in with a certain, you know, brand I need to hold. Dude, my brand's real and raw. Like I'm going to ask you for feedback. You speak on stages. So I think for me in that situation, I get mad because I'm always critiquing and I know that I can always grow and do better.
• 42:30
  I know why we like, I know why we get along, man. You, it's like a mirror. I, everything you say is exactly me. I, no one is harder on themselves than me. Maybe you, uh, uh, but I will tell you, I thought you did a great job and I, I would, I would be completely blunt if there, if you didn't, I believe everybody did a really good job. I, I enjoyed, uh, Craig. I enjoyed,
• 42:55
  uh brandon and uh it's just in your supposed the event everything was great i loved it it was a good good good time um tell us something you believe in almost nobody agrees with you on oh man um you see what i'm doing here is like we talked about the event and now i want people to know you because you are a gem you are a diamond and
• 43:21
  We're catching you early on in a year, in three years. It's going to be impossible. I'm going to be like, thank goodness I'm friends with him. I'm going to get Jim. I get Jim Morrison. Or wait, what's your new nickname? The Mac Daddy. Love it. Love it.
• 43:42
  So about six years ago, 2017, this was prior to me moving to Nashville. I worked for a gentleman named Paul Leader. He ran several properties in a hotel right in downtown Boston. I worked for a company that provided the transportation services, and I ultimately managed their parking asset. Their parking asset made millions of dollars. It was right next to Fenway Park in downtown Boston.
• 44:11
  And he was the general manager of the hotel. And they used to put record players in every hotel. It was like a rock and roll themed hotel. And I was in a meeting one day and a staff member came in and said, why are we giving people records
• 44:32
  So two people in the last month didn't return them. They stole the records. Right. So imagine this. They've got a record player that they put in every room, legit, real needle, all that. And then they allow you just to grab records from the front and bring them back to your room and play them. And that woman said to Paul Leader, the general manager, we need to stop doing this because everybody's stealing the records. Right.
• 44:58
  And Paul, and he probably doesn't even know this, and I love Paul, like he was traveling through Nashville and stopped in with his sister to come see me and have dinner. So there's the character of that human, right? But Paul taught me something very, very, very important that I will never forget about life. He said in that moment, 99.9% of people are good.
• 45:21
  and they want to do good. There's a very small portion of people that make the wrong decision and don't do good. So let me ask you this, Danielle, the director of ops. You said two people stole records this month. Since we started this program in the last two years, how many records were stolen? And she was like, two. He's like, we're not changing a policy for the 0.01%.
• 45:47
  And ever since that day, what I've realized, Kelly, is 99.9% of people in this world are good, but some people fall off track and we can't put everybody in a bucket and we can't be negative that everybody's out to get me. Everybody's trying to kill me. Everybody wants me to lose. Everybody wants me to fail. No one wants me to see when just one or two people in the last year or the last week have told you that.
• 46:16
  And as I progress and as I meet more people and I speak on more stages and I'm on the East Coast, West Coast, Texas, what I realize is, yeah, there's people that are negative. There's people that say I suck. There's people that don't agree with what I say. But when I really look at it,
• 46:35
  it's, it's less than 0.01%, man. Like, so ultimately, sorry to go so long winded. I had to give props to my man, Paul leader. But at the end of the day, I believe 99% of people are good. And the folks that may not be good, I want to give them a little grace in hopes that they're just off path a little bit. Bro. That's really hard. That's really hard. Freaky for you to say that if I had to answer that literally, and I've done it before on previous podcasts, I,
• 47:05
  Mine is most people are good. I believe it. And it's so weird how you and I are in alignment. I believe most people are good. I would tell you one of the two people probably accidentally took it.
• 47:19
  And because, you know, I have a big four agreements. I don't make assumptions and don't take anything personal. So we don't know what's going on over there. And and the overcorrection is what we see in this world right now. It's it's insane. It's like for two. Why are we doing it? Why are we changing the the the course for for the small minority? It's just insane. It's insane to me.
• 47:41
  How many people have been impacted negatively from removing that experience from the hotel? Right? Way more people wouldn't have been able to enjoy that in their room than the folks that took advantage, so to say, if they even did. And that's what's great about you is you're not impacted, no pun intended, by the loud minority. We had this conversation. Yeah.
• 48:06
  I love that about you. What are your pet peeves when communicating? I find you to be an excellent communicator. So what are some of your pet peeves? I would say when I communicate, I'm direct. And I like communication.
• 48:24
  direct back. So I would say my pet peeve is let's just get to the point. Because yeah, there's a little Boston in me, but I still am someone. And I understand because I do this, right. I understand that. I,
• 48:41
  Sometimes we say things and we don't do 100% of the things we do, but I do believe that my word is bond. So for me, I try to accomplish as much as I say I'm going to do because I believe it equates to my core characteristics and my core values. So I would say it upsets me when someone says they're going to do something or someone says they believe in something and then they...
• 49:11
  Don't do it. So I'll give you an example. When I moved to Nashville and I own the organic frozen beverage company, I went out and had a crazy sales week. And I talked to like 60 restaurants we were selling the product to and the equipment. And like 55 of them were like, yeah, yeah, that's great. Send over a contract. And I closed like 10 of them.
• 49:36
  And I was just like, why? And the reality of it was, was in Nashville, in the South, what I learned, and this isn't me, this is me learning and asking a lot of folks that are from here and live here, there's technically this thing called the Nashville No.
• 49:52
  Which is, it's a yes, because we're in the South and people want you to feel good, but they really have no interest in it or they're not going to sign the contract. So for me, coming from Boston, you end a four-hour meeting with someone pitching you a product, you tell them at the end.
• 50:15
  No, thank you. I appreciate you coming in. I appreciate you spending time. If there's a need or an opportunity for a potential referral for me to make a connection, I will. But at this point in time, we're not going to move forward with your product or service. It's hard to swallow when you don't get that direct feedback from me. So I would say that's probably a pet peeve that I have is...
• 50:42
  If I'm going to go in and give effort and time and energy, just tell me where we stand. And if you need to think about that, I totally get it. Don't make quick decisions, especially if it's $150,000, $200,000 contract. But I just do admire a little bit more direct yes or no, especially dealing with business, because there's certain things that go into play or there's certain dollars spent based on some potential.
• 51:11
  early on conversations that are leading towards a potential. Yes. If that makes sense. Yeah, it did. We talked about personal development and personal development, having trust in yourself and being vulnerable and knowing that, you know, getting yourself in and out of tough conversations. Most people just don't want to hurt the other person. And, and it's, it's, it's shame because honestly, you're not hurting me.
• 51:32
  You're giving me my life back because if it's a Nashville no, I'm going to follow up until you finally give me no. So telling me no right off the bat saves us a lot of time and energy. So I really appreciate it. I love the directness too. No surprise between the two of us. I had one more to it. I'll give you this too. And I'm sure it's the same for you as if you repeat yourself. Somebody repeats themselves. If they do it a third time, I always say, I heard you the first time. You don't have to tell me. You don't have to tell me twice. You don't have to tell me three times.
• 52:00
  That drives me insane. I don't know why that is. When you talk about sales, what's your best sales advice then? My best sales advice is you have to believe in the product wholeheartedly before you decide to sell it. I've been in a lot of positions where I didn't believe in it and I was like hitting my head up against the wall. Why can't I close a sale? Why can't I close a deal?
• 52:28
  I wouldn't have used the product or service. I thought it sucked. Of course, I can't sell it. And then what I realized, once you get over the fact of you're trying to sell something and you actually believe in it, you're not selling anything. You're now helping folks. And that's the major transition. Like when I know that I'm helping someone, I'm resilient because I want them to succeed.
• 52:54
  But if I think I'm selling you something, I'm never going to sell it, number one. And number two, the underlying subconscious is because I wouldn't buy it. I don't believe in it. And I don't actually think it's good for you.
• 53:07
  Yeah, I tell my sales team at National Technology Management, we're protecting people. We're not selling anything. We're a cybersecurity. We're protecting businesses from these bad actors from ransomware. So we look for the no, and I don't mess around. And sometimes I scare the crap. Anytime somebody says to me I'm too intense, like, dude, you're not for me. What's, I'm going to take Ali off the table here. Who is your biggest inspiration?
• 53:38
  My biggest inspiration. Hmm. My biggest inspiration is myself. I love it. I want to thank myself. Go do tell. Well, I don't know.
• 53:59
  I used to be the victim. I used to be the person that, oh, my parents are addicted to Octocon. And then why did it happen to them? And of course, of course, my parents are fucked up. Right. And like, I used to have those positions on myself and on my life. And I just, and I think that's where the drinking came from. I was suppressing those emotions.
• 54:28
  And literally a year ago, a little over a year ago is when I finally got over it. And for me specifically, I inspire myself because there was that time where I realized that this wasn't good for me and it was hurting me and I need to address it instead of run from it. So I think for me, I'm just a big believer of self-talk. I'm a big believer of your mind-saving.
• 54:56
  is more powerful than anything and can equate to you doing anything as long as you believe in it and are committed to it. So I think for me, there's no one that's going to tell me something to go actually do it. I have to tell myself to do it. So I need, although Kelly, you inspire me, you do inspire me, Kelly. I have to fucking believe it for it to inspire me.
• 55:20
  If I ever freaking don't come across as genuine, authentic, I expect you to call me and go, what the fuck was that? This is, this is true. This has been tremendous. The depth to you, I just, it keeps getting better and better and better. And I want to, I love you. And I'm, I'm, I was just gonna say the same thing. You inspire me with that positivity, even though you're younger than me, I just, I learned from everybody. I'm gonna learn it all. So let's, we're gonna wrap this up. We're 55 minutes into it. And that answer was the best one yet.
• 55:50
  Define success for me. Success for me is health.
• 55:57
  I can't do anything without being healthy. So I want to put myself in a position and my wife where we put A-plus effort into that. Now, of course, I fall off. Of course, I travel. I may eat crappy. But understanding to give myself grace and know that I'm working on it and it's important and it's at the top of the line, I think is really where I want to be and how I want to progress in my life.
• 56:27
  Um, you know, I can't be a good husband if I'm in the hospital, can't be a good dad. If I'm can't run around the yard and play with my daughter for 30 minutes, you know, and I can't go impact others across the world if I'm unhealthy.
• 56:44
  I mean, you know it, you travel, you're on flights all the time. I'm a projector. So when I speak, I use all my energy. I can't continue to live that lifestyle, always moving around, always impacting people and speaking on stages if I'm not in good health. So not only is it for me, but it's for my family and it's for everybody else that I'm hoping to impact before I die.
• 57:09
  Health is wealth, my friend. And that's the reason why I can't be there is because we're launching a health and fitness app. And we are knee deep. We're in the 11th hour and I have got to get this thing out so we can monetize. You said your why earlier. You keep going back to your daughter, but it's that 1,100,100 entrepreneurs to inspire. My why is to donate a million dollars charity.
• 57:35
  And we have got to meet those goals. There's just no way fans are about it. So very similar, very similar numbers too. They're a surprise. But health, we're going to be releasing this app that's going to, it's not just like a little fitness app. It's going to be all things personal development. I'm going to have you come speak in there. It's like a community we're building. I'm building a little cult of seagulls. Oh, a block of seagulls.
• 58:02
  Um, what's your big, Oh, to go another further is the reason why I'm going to New York is I'm going to have tests done a special CT MRI done with AI to go through my whole body to make sure there's nothing out of alignment at all. So I've talked about being, I'm 47. I'll be 48 in a month, man. I'm not as young and whippersnapper handsome like you are. So I got to, this doesn't happen by accident.
• 58:29
  Hey, you got all that hair, baby. Just keep riding that. What's your biggest fear? Um, my biggest fear is not accomplishing the things that I was set out to do in life before I pass away. Not a chance, bro. I can tell you that right now. I've known that I've known you enough that it's not even an option. Just take that off the table. Yeah.
• 58:54
  We impact effect 23 this Friday. This is going to air on Thursday. Be there, be square. It is going to be awesome. If you don't know who Tim's story is, he's a blast. My boy, Craig Siegel, five foot seven pounds of just energy and a ball of fire. Love him too. And Jim, you're outstanding. Give me some final words.
• 59:17
  I'm just thankful for having me, man. I'm thankful for you being in my life, brother. I'm excited to see what you do. I'm excited to be involved in what you do. And yeah, I'm looking to make an impact in entrepreneurs and business owners' lives. So, you know, feel free to reach out to me, DM me, send me a message. I'm happy to connect. I am a massive believer that relationships are rocket ships. And let's blast off together, man.
• 59:46
  I love you very much. Thank you for that. That was deep. Please rate and share this podcast. Also, I do my best to respond to the comments on all social platforms. So if you want more of something or less of something, leave a comment. Each and every episode is sponsored by National Technology Management, the easiest and best IT company to do business with, delivering peace of mind with technology every day. Visit TrustNTM.com for more info. Until next week, be harder than life and make sure to go to Nashville on Friday.
• 1:00:13
  Thank you for listening. Please rate and subscribe to Harder Than Life, and let's take this to the next level. Get connected at the links below.