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Purpose, Not Pressure · Is Your Way In Your Way?

0:25
Cassandra: Good day out there to all my listeners, and I'd like to welcome you to Is Your Way in Your Way.
0:32
Cassandra: And I'm your host.
0:33
Cassandra: My name is Cassandra Crawley Mayo.
0:36
Cassandra: And for my new listeners out there, the name of my book is titled Is Your Way in Your Way.
0:42
Cassandra: And I tell you, uh, so therefore, and actually the book is for women, just like my podcasts are for women, although I know men listen, and that's I'm okay with that.
0:53
Cassandra: But what I'd like for you to know, I like to know, first of all, especially these new listeners out there, are you ready to stop getting in your own way and start living the life that you were truly meant for?
1:08
Cassandra: Well, again, I'm Cassandra.
1:11
Cassandra: I am a best-selling author, I am a mentor, a speaker, and your guide to all things transformative.
1:20
Cassandra: Now, each week we dive deep with powerful guests and practical tools to help you overcome these self-imposed barriers and design your best life on purpose, with faith, and without apology.
1:35
Cassandra: And today you're in for a soul-shifting conversation with transformational coach Constance Curtis.
1:42
Cassandra: So let's get started.
1:43
Cassandra: Let me introduce you to Constance.
1:46
Cassandra: Hi, Constance.
1:49
Constance: Hello, Cassandra.
1:50
Constance: Thank you for having me.
1:51
Constance: I'm excited to be here.
1:52
Cassandra: I am glad you are here, girl.
1:54
Cassandra: Now, you listen, before we get started, I just want to read your bio because my listeners always want to know what qualifies her to talk about what she's going to talk about.
2:05
Cassandra: And our topic today is finding fulfillment through purpose.
2:11
Cassandra: And let me get started on this bio so we can have a deep dive into this conversation.
2:17
Cassandra: As I mentioned, listeners, she's a transformational coach, entrepreneur, and reinvention strategist who helps people break free from what's holding them back and align with who they were truly created to be.
2:32
Cassandra: She has 20 plus years of experience and her own journey through purpose-fueled pivots.
2:39
Cassandra: She now guides creative leaders and entrepreneurs to release self-doubt, reconnect with their values, and create lives rooted in clarity and courage.
2:53
Cassandra: Her no-fluff, heart-centered approach speaks to anyone ready to stop settling and start living fully.
3:03
Cassandra: But was there anything that you really wanted to do when you were growing up?
3:31
Constance: You know what?
3:32
Constance: There wasn't anything in particular, but I did grow up with two parents that were entrepreneurs.
3:40
Constance: So at a very young age, I was exposed to my mother owned a preschool and a preschool that I went to that she actually still owns.
3:50
Constance: So she's owned this.
3:51
Constance: Yeah.
3:51
Constance: So she's owned this preschool for over 35 years now, which has been absolutely incredible.
3:58
Constance: And then my father has a citrus farm.
4:02
Constance: So he grew up.
4:03
Constance: So I grew up watching my grandfather and my father build that company.
4:08
Constance: So I was blessed in that I was exposed to entrepreneurship and understood that that could be, you know, a path, a way forward for me.
4:18
Constance: However, after college, I actually went into the corporate world.
4:23
Constance: So I didn't at first take that route, although I quickly found it a few years later.
4:31
Cassandra: Okay.
4:31
Cassandra: Okay.
4:32
Cassandra: Um, so let me ask you before you became this transformational coach, it's interesting that both of your parents were entrepreneurs, and I always said, bring up a child the way they should go, and they will not depart from it.
4:45
Cassandra: So I'm not sure whether they brought you up to be an entrepreneur, but a lot of times we do what we don't so much do what they say, we we look at what they do.
4:55
Cassandra: So as you observe that throughout growing up and everything, like, wow, this is pretty cool.
5:01
Cassandra: So that was kind of like part of your DNA, the entrepreneur piece.
5:06
Cassandra: So before you became this coach, this transformational coach, what was life like before then?
5:13
Cassandra: What was going on with you?
5:16
Constance: I was building a life, I would say, from programming, right?
5:21
Constance: So as we grow up through childhood, all the things that we think we have to do and that we should do.
5:28
Constance: And I was chasing achievements for external validation.
5:33
Constance: So, and not that nothing that truly fulfills my soul, fulfills the the ego, the bad ego part of me, but it wasn't fulfilling what would make me happy on a soul level, on a heart, like you know, from from my heart.
5:48
Constance: So I had to get get really quiet um after you know, I I had realized that, and that's what led me to where I'm at now.
5:57
Constance: How long did it take you to figure that out?
6:00
Constance: Oh my goodness.
6:01
Cassandra: You weren't happy and you know you needed to do something and and all of that.
6:05
Cassandra: How long did that take?
6:07
Constance: You know, I didn't realize right away that I wasn't happy.
6:12
Constance: In fact, I just kept thinking that, well, the next mountain I climb, that's that's when I'm gonna feel the fulfillment.
6:19
Constance: That's when I'm gonna get happy.
6:20
Constance: And then I would get to that mountain, and then there would be another mountain to climb, right?
6:24
Constance: So there was always something that I was working on that I knew, well, once I just get there, then I'm going to feel internally that that sensation that I've been longing for until I until it never came, right?
6:42
Constance: And so what I did is I I stripped away, stripped away all of the achievements that I had, you know, ever ever achieved in life, including, you know, raising money from from investors and launching a technology company and all of these things, and thought if all of that went away, if nobody knew what I did, am I truly living a life that fulfills me?
7:09
Constance: And the qu the the answer was no.
7:11
Constance: And so the question is that is becomes how do you build a life of purpose?
7:19
Constance: And majority of us think it is what we're here to do, but it's not.
7:23
Constance: It's actually rediscovering who you are, it's rediscovering what fulfills you, it's rediscovering your true purpose here on this earth, and and you know, how what makes you shine inside?
7:35
Constance: And once you can start to identify those, that is where you can begin to shift and feel that fulfillment and happiness inside.
7:43
Cassandra: Yeah.
7:43
Cassandra: Now, how do you figure out, you know, uh, as I indicated, like the the name of the podcast is Is Your Way in Your Way?
7:53
Cassandra: Um, what took you?
7:56
Cassandra: Well, uh no, let me no, let me ask you this.
8:00
Cassandra: How did you figure out?
8:02
Cassandra: Because, you know, it's you're right.
8:04
Cassandra: You do one thing, you know, you're like, okay, when we get out of school, okay, we're supposed to get married, have a white picket fence, have kids, blah, blah, blah.
8:13
Cassandra: That's the old way.
8:14
Cassandra: I mean, that's how you would think.
8:16
Cassandra: Some of us were brought up that way.
8:40
Cassandra: And then after that, there are individuals that start like, well, what am I?
8:44
Cassandra: Why am I here?
8:45
Cassandra: What's my purpose?
8:47
Cassandra: And you indicated you were unsettled, you weren't not, you weren't not happy, but as time and life moved on, you realized that it was something else.
8:57
Cassandra: How did you figure that out?
8:59
Cassandra: How would my listeners figure that out?
9:01
Cassandra: What else is there?
9:03
Constance: Yeah, so the first thing that I encourage all of you know my clients to do that I'm working with is rediscover what are the things that light you up?
9:12
Constance: Make a list, make those lists of the things that they it can be anything from traveling, visiting with family and friends, um, you know, building a company, but then ask yourself over and over and over again why?
9:24
Constance: Why?
9:25
Constance: What is it?
9:26
Constance: What is the deeper, deeper desire behind that that fulfills my soul?
9:32
Constance: So for instance, I'll take spending time with family and friends for me is is one of the things that I love to do, and I make a lot of time for it.
9:41
Constance: And part of that's like, well, why?
9:44
Constance: And it's the deeper, the deeper desire there is connection.
9:48
Constance: So we all have these core values, and I like to use them as an internal compass to guide us and create a life that is fulfilled.
9:59
Constance: So my four words, and you can have like three to five words, but these words should be used in in every in the decisions that you make, both personally and professionally.
10:10
Constance: And as long as you can tie your vision and your goals to one of your core values that fulfills your soul, then you're going to build a life and alignment, right?
10:20
Constance: So I knew my core values were connection, freedom, experiences, and nourishment.
10:29
Constance: So when I got quiet with myself and I asked, okay, is the company I'm build building, does it does it, how does it nourish me?
10:39
Constance: Am I connected to my clients?
10:41
Constance: Am I connected to what I'm building?
10:44
Constance: If it's not tied to those core values, then it's not in alignment with who you truly are.
10:51
Constance: So that is the the first thing that you need to do is understand what it is that you love to do, what fulfills your soul, what lights you up inside, and then get down to the deeper desire of why.
11:04
Constance: And it should be one word.
11:05
Constance: What is the reason?
11:06
Constance: Like, for instance, it could be you love to travel, and it's because it nourishes your soul, right?
11:11
Constance: So that word, your core value is nourishment, and that helps you to understand, okay, the this is my internal compass to help me guide, help to help guide me through life to to live a life of fulfillment.
11:24
Cassandra: Okay, so those three things like connection, freedom, and nourishment.
11:28
Cassandra: Um you had you you had all of those things within what you wanted to do.
11:35
Cassandra: So, how did you select the transformational coach?
11:39
Cassandra: Where did those those those values that you have?
11:43
Cassandra: How did the transformational coach come in?
11:47
Constance: Yeah, so it really came from from just myself and the transformation that I went through, right?
11:53
Constance: So building what I was building before I did the internal work on myself, I was building a life that wasn't aligned with me.
12:02
Constance: I was building a life that looked good on paper or that everyone else told me I should build, right?
12:09
Constance: And so when I got quiet with myself and I understood my core values, then that's where when I started saying, okay, these are the personal decisions and professional decisions that I'm going to begin to make.
12:20
Constance: And that's when I realized, like, even if I don't when I hit this goal, I'm not going to be happy.
12:27
Constance: I'm already happy.
12:27
Constance: So when I hit the goal, that's amazing.
12:29
Constance: I'm excited and I can't wait to hit that goal.
12:31
Constance: But I'm already happy and fulfilled inside it as I'm building towards that goal.
12:37
Constance: So as I started transforming and building my life and just woke up one day and was just like, oh my gosh, like everyone needs to feel this, right?
12:47
Constance: Like I want everyone to wake up and just be like ready to like take on the day because they just are feeling like even the thing, even like my going for a walk, like my connecting with nature every single morning, it is a non-negotiable for me.
13:01
Constance: I do it every single morning from seven to eight.
13:03
Constance: That is my time to connect with nature and take a walk in the, you know, in the park or wherever it may be.
13:08
Constance: And so really designing my life around the things that fulfill me.
13:13
Constance: I thought, oh my goodness, if more people did this and stopped chasing achievements and goals and visions because of the shoulds and the have-to's, and really chased their achievements and goals based on what truly fulfilled them.
13:29
Constance: Wow, what a you know transformation we would have as a society, right?
13:35
Constance: Like a collective ship of all of us just like truly living our purpose.
13:39
Constance: And so it, I talked, woke up one day and I said to my coach, you know, I was consulting at the time with entrepreneurs and I was giving strategy and I was noticing, oh, they're self-sabotaging.
13:54
Constance: Oh, this is a limiting belief that they have.
13:57
Constance: And I started to see in my clients that I was consulting with patterns.
14:03
Constance: And I could see it because I had done the work on myself.
14:06
Constance: So I can now clearly identify my own, you know, patterns, and then I can start to identify the patterns of like clients.
14:12
Constance: But at the time I wasn't a coach, so I didn't feel like it was it was my, they hired me to consult, they hired me to strategize and get them to reach their goals on a strategy level, not on an emotional level, not on a mindset, behavioral, like not on a deeper, deeper fulfilled level.
14:29
Constance: So I went to my coach and I said, I'm feeling called to integrate this into what I'm doing.
14:36
Constance: So my clients can truly understand like that's a great goal to have, but why is it truly aligned with you?
14:43
Constance: Is it going to is it going to make you happy, or do you think it's going to make you happy?
14:48
Constance: Because if you're not happy right now, hitting that $1 million in revenue, it that's not all of a sudden you're not going to wake up one day and be happy.
14:56
Constance: That's just going to come with another list of things that another goal that you want to hit, right?
15:00
Constance: So I woke up one day feeling called to share it and help my clients.
15:05
Constance: And to be honest, I've have fallen more in love with the coaching side of what I do over the consulting side because I am making such a difference in the way that people are building and creating their lives.
15:20
Cassandra: Now, Constance, you indicated earlier that you had to like come home to self.
15:27
Cassandra: And what that meant to me was you had to sit and be quiet and try to figure out.
15:32
Cassandra: And it's kind of like a self-discovery.
15:36
Cassandra: And when did you make that decision that you needed a coach to support you in this endeavor?
15:45
Constance: I love, I love how you mentioned, you know, being the quiet, the because there's so much power in the pause, just taking a moment to sit in solitude and really be with yourself and and listen internally.
16:00
Constance: I realized that I needed a coach when the same patterns or the same things kept coming, coming up in my life.
16:08
Constance: It was like this boomerang effect.
16:10
Constance: I was like, ah, you know, God, God, the universe, what you know, whatever the higher power is that you believe in, kept throwing the same thing at me.
16:18
Constance: And I thought, dang, why is this coming back into my life?
16:23
Constance: And it could show up in like a in maybe a different with a different mask on, but it was the same pattern that I was experiencing.
16:31
Constance: So I had realized that, okay, I have a deeper block, more than likely on a subconscious level that I need to uncover, right?
16:43
Constance: That I really need to work through because we can do, we have the, you know, the conscious, the subconscious, and the unconscious mind, right?
16:51
Constance: So we can do all the mindset work that we want on the on the conscious mind.
16:55
Constance: We can tell ourselves affirmations all day long.
16:58
Constance: But if we have deeper blocks in our subconscious that are, it's like the deeper desire.
17:04
Constance: So one, the conscious mind is saying, I want to hit these goals.
17:08
Constance: And then the subconscious mind is saying, No, I'm afraid I'm afraid of being seen or I'm I'm afraid of success.
17:13
Constance: And they're going up against each other, you're never going to get to the next level that you're trying to achieve.
17:20
Constance: You're going to, you know, self-sabotage and be held back.
17:24
Constance: So when I realized I was in this, like on a hamster wheel, I was on this looping pattern.
17:29
Constance: I thought, okay, I need guidance and someone to help me find what it is that is that is truly holding me back.
17:39
Cassandra: Right.
17:40
Cassandra: Good.
17:40
Cassandra: That's good.
17:41
Cassandra: Yeah, because um, in other words, you got stuck.
17:47
Cassandra: And I I wanted you to bring that out because although there are individuals that are listening that are in their way based on those self-imposed barriers, doubting yourself.
18:00
Cassandra: Um, I don't know if I can do this, or um, procrastination, uh, like you said, self-sabotage, imposter syndrome, that's okay, because we all go through that.
18:16
Cassandra: But what's what and and like what this podcast is really about is empowerment, giving you permission to say, that's okay, but now I need to take some action, and but you cannot do it by yourself, you know, and I always say that, but yet, you know, and that's why I wanted you to say, well, who helped you with this?
18:36
Cassandra: So you said I needed a coach, and how somehow you found a coach that works best for you.
18:43
Cassandra: So, what I'm saying for my listeners is find some a mentor, a coach, or something to help you get through because when it's time for all of us to transition out of here, we do not want to have regrets.
18:59
Cassandra: My I meant to tell you, Constance.
19:02
Cassandra: My listeners know Max.
19:04
Cassandra: Max is not Conquer Spaniel, and and he's not even in the room, but he wants to be in the room.
19:11
Cassandra: So now he's trying to disrupt this podcast, and that is not gonna happen.
19:16
Cassandra: So I'm gonna move on.
19:17
Cassandra: I'm gonna I'm gonna move on.
19:19
Cassandra: I'm gonna move on.
19:20
Cassandra: The clients that you had, have you seen any commonalities, any common themes that they're dealing with that are keeping them stuck?
19:31
Cassandra: And if so, what were some what are some of those things?
19:34
Constance: Yeah, so one big one is people pleasing, which is a you know form of self-abandonment.
19:42
Constance: Okay.
19:43
Constance: So, and and which then lead which really stems from low self-worth.
19:48
Constance: So working through that one is um, you know, a lot of times people think, well, I'm uh people pleasing isn't bad.
19:57
Constance: I'm I'm I'm a giver.
19:59
Constance: I just I want to give, give, give.
20:01
Constance: But if you're not, you know, setting boundaries and and really sticking or recognizing your self-worth and letting people, you know, kind of take advantage of you, that's not good.
20:14
Constance: That's not good for yourself, right?
20:15
Constance: That that is self-abandonment.
20:17
Constance: That is so working through that that low self-worth um is a is a really big one.
20:23
Constance: Um, another one is so I I guess the all the patterns, a lot of the patterns are stemmed around low self-worth.
20:30
Constance: So another one that I see with clients is um really not wanting, especially with women, not wanting to use a voice and like be assertive.
20:40
Constance: Like they don't want to be like, oh, that bossy, like, you know, it just and like so they they play small, they're like, okay, like okay, okay, or maybe, maybe I'm not, I don't know what I'm talking about.
20:54
Constance: And then they start to self-doubt themselves, and then they self-self-sabotage.
20:59
Constance: And so really just taking ownership and saying, no, I, you know, I know, I understand, I know what I'm talking about, and stepping through that fear, and so and taking that aligned action.
21:12
Constance: So I when I work with clients, I work with them on three levels.
21:14
Constance: So one, there's there's the awareness stage, which is what what are your goals?
21:18
Constance: What is your vision?
21:19
Constance: What's all that?
21:20
Constance: And then um, and then what could be holding you back?
21:25
Constance: What is that limiting belief or that blocker that you see yourself, you know, self-sabotaging um that's keeping you stuck?
21:33
Constance: And then there's the acceptance stage.
21:35
Constance: And I loved what you said about accepting our limiting beliefs because we all have them.
21:40
Constance: That is the human in us.
21:42
Constance: So it is normal, like in its constant work.
21:46
Constance: Every, I mean, I meditated for about an hour this morning because I was working through something, right?
21:51
Constance: So it's not just one and done, like I'm gonna have a meeting and then oh, all my all my limiting beliefs are gone.
21:57
Constance: No, it is an everyday thing that you commit to bettering yourself.
22:00
Constance: So that's the acceptance of recognizing that the limiting belief, what's keeping you stuck, that's a part of you.
22:08
Constance: That is not all of you, right?
22:10
Constance: So just having acceptance for it, having compassion for it.
22:15
Constance: And then once you realize that that limiting belief, that self-doubt is actually here.
22:20
Constance: And if you can believe this, it's it is actually here to serve you.
22:23
Constance: And once you can recognize that, then you step through that um limiting belief, a step through that fear, and then you can take the aligned action to get you one step, you know, closer to reaching that goal.
22:34
Constance: So that's how I work with my how I work with um the clients that I work with.
22:40
Cassandra: Okay.
22:40
Cassandra: And you also have some courses that help.
22:43
Cassandra: So that was that's uh uh a component of your methodology that you use for your clients to overcome, or like you indicated, you won't always overcome.
22:55
Cassandra: I I was listening to a lady the other day um speaking, and she said she was a recovering perfectionist.
23:02
Cassandra: And I'm like, really?
23:03
Cassandra: So she recovered from that.
23:04
Cassandra: How did that happen?
23:05
Cassandra: You know, so you know, when people say that, you it's it's like um it's still work as you indicated.
23:11
Cassandra: You know, what do you do to sustain it?
23:14
Cassandra: And so you have a course that talks about um part of like you talk about um purpose and authenticity.
23:22
Cassandra: You do a joy journal and visualization.
23:27
Constance: Yes, and I those are your courses.
23:30
Constance: I have, yeah, I have about eight courses now.
23:32
Constance: So my I would say my core one is understanding your, I call them authentic roots, which is just another word for core values.
23:41
Constance: So understanding how to figure out your core values and to align your life living with purpose.
23:47
Constance: So that that's one of the courses um that I have.
23:50
Constance: Another one is joy journal.
23:51
Constance: So again, realizing that there's joy every day there there's joy.
23:57
Constance: And so we're so focused sometimes on chasing, you know, what we want that we forget to slow down and be present and realize all that we have.
24:07
Constance: Um, there's a vision.
24:09
Constance: I love, love, love vision and and manifestation work about really embodying on a deeper level what you, you know, the the aligned life that you're building.
24:19
Constance: And a course that I'm working on right now, and some to be on, this is how I come up with my courses.
24:24
Constance: It's usually something that I am working through.
24:28
Constance: So my the my walks that I do every morning, I call them an abundance walk.
24:33
Constance: And I got that from another podcast that I was listening to.
24:36
Constance: And on my abundance walks, I just noticed the beauty of nature, all of the abundance of nature, and I just get into this like magnetic flow.
24:44
Constance: So I come back from my walks and I'm like, wow, today is going to be a magnetic, powerful day.
24:49
Constance: And I noticed though, as the day went on, sometimes that lack scarcity mindset can creep in.
24:57
Constance: So it might look like, oh my goodness, I I, you know, I might be working on building out a course, but I am like, oh my gosh, I have to check my email, right?
25:06
Constance: This this lack of time, this I just can't focus and be present on what I'm working on.
25:12
Constance: So, and we see that with you know, lack scarcity mindset, maybe with money or whatever it may be.
25:17
Constance: And so I realize that abundance is powerful and it's it's all around us.
25:24
Constance: So I'm creating a 30-day abundance challenge and every day picking a new thing that we focus on, and just like so the beauty, just noticing the beauty of abundance all around you.
25:36
Constance: It could look be in, you know, a person that you walk by, it could be in a flower that you see, whatever that is for you, you know, but just really getting into the mindset and abundance mindset and letting that the the flow um, you know, real not just be in the in the moment of the walk, but in the moment of the throughout the entire day.
25:57
Cassandra: Right.
25:58
Cassandra: So in other words, that's the 30-day challenge is when you talk to clients, even some of my listeners may say, okay, every day I'm gonna think of abundance and I'm gonna think about what in that particular day created that.
26:15
Cassandra: Because when you do that, your energy just it's amazing that energy, how how relevant energy is.
26:23
Cassandra: And there'll be days you may not feel like it, but yet this is a challenge, and a challenge is an opportunity.
26:29
Cassandra: So I I challenge my listeners to to do that.
26:34
Cassandra: I think that I think that is great.
26:36
Cassandra: Now, what what there's another thing, you know, when I ask my clients about what are their values, core values, some of them get confused, they're not quite sure.
26:48
Cassandra: How what do you do to get them to um share or realize or recognize what their values are, core values?
27:00
Constance: Core values.
27:01
Constance: I find it the most powerful when they when they drop into their body and feel the sensations that arise.
27:09
Constance: So getting out of the mind, which loves to you know take over and say, Oh, I know best.
27:14
Constance: And I I believe that our bodies are actually a lot more powerful um than our mind, that intuition.
27:20
Constance: So getting quiet, and I so again making that list, getting quiet with what what you know, what is it about that that fulfills you on a soul level and having them sit with that and think of words, and then they'll say a word such as, like, you know, for me it's connection.
27:40
Constance: And when I think of connection, like I get lit up inside.
27:44
Constance: I'm like, oh my goodness, like I like authentic, genuine connections is my thing.
27:48
Constance: Like, I want to, I want to have a conversation with you, and I want to go deep.
27:52
Constance: And I don't, I I hard, it's hard for me to do surface level um interactions, but so but but I feel that in my body, like I'm like, or ultimate freedom.
28:02
Constance: So that is like my number one.
28:04
Constance: Like what drives me, what keeps me like going every single day, it's ultimate freedom.
28:09
Constance: So freedom being like that core value, it just should light you up inside.
28:14
Constance: And so just continue to go through.
28:17
Constance: I mean, I have probably a hundred words that clients can go through, but it's the it's when they drop into the embody and they feel the sensation of it, and they're like, Oh, yes, that's it.
28:27
Constance: I feel it.
28:27
Constance: That's that's what lights me up inside.
28:29
Constance: And then and to be honest, some core values can mean kind of the same thing, you know, but some people, it's it's how you interpret it and how you how you feel it inside, right?
28:41
Cassandra: And then with that, it's like, well, why?
28:43
Cassandra: As you indicated, why, why is does that light me up?
28:47
Cassandra: Or yeah, put a why between when when they are um writing down, excuse me, what fulfills them and to talk about maybe maybe the why.
28:58
Constance: Yeah, the why, the why is a powerful.
29:00
Constance: I'll add I'll just say why, why can over and over and over again until they're like, oh, safety, you know, and they come, they come to that one word, security.
29:12
Constance: They come to that one word that they're like, I'm like, that's your that's the core value, that's what internally, you know, you want to feel that that lights up your soul.
29:21
Cassandra: Yes, yes.
29:22
Cassandra: Because I have a friend with a brother, and and every time I say something, he would say, Why?
29:28
Cassandra: And I was like, What are you talking about?
29:30
Cassandra: Leave me alone.
29:30
Cassandra: Like, how are you doing today?
29:32
Cassandra: I said, I'm doing great.
29:33
Cassandra: He said, Why?
29:33
Cassandra: I'm like, What?
29:35
Cassandra: And well, what do you what do you have a taste for?
29:38
Cassandra: I'm like, this, that, why?
29:40
Cassandra: I'm like, man, leave me alone.
29:44
Cassandra: But I'd be I think about like, why, why does that excite me?
29:48
Cassandra: Why is that?
29:49
Cassandra: So next time he asks me that I'm gonna really dive into this why rather than saying, you're really getting on my last nerves with this.
29:57
Constance: It's really why is is a very, very powerful question.
30:01
Constance: And just sit with that and keep asking yourself, why, why, why?
30:05
Constance: And you'll be like, Oh wow, that's it's incredible what what you come to.
30:11
Cassandra: Yeah, let me um I want you to share maybe one or two clients oh one, once you finished working with them, and some of you may all, it's an ongoing thing, I don't know.
30:23
Cassandra: What are some of the outcomes of an individual that you have worked with?
30:31
Constance: I think that one of the biggest ones is learning, she really learned to love herself.
30:37
Constance: When we started working together, just she didn't have, you know, the self love wasn't there.
30:44
Constance: And she had.
30:46
Constance: You know, gone through some things um in childhood, unfortunately, that that were lived very deep, very deep in her subconscious.
30:57
Speaker: Right.
30:57
Constance: And so to help her rediscover herself and her self-love and step into that was it was extremely powerful.
31:06
Cassandra: Yeah.
31:06
Cassandra: And that made you feel good.
31:09
Constance: Yes.
31:09
Constance: I I remember, yeah, you know, I remember sitting on a call and she she was reading her journal.
31:18
Constance: I had her, I always give my clients like call it homework, but it's just, you know, things to to to do in between our our weekly sessions.
31:26
Constance: But I said, you know, I want you to journal, you know, this this week.
31:30
Constance: And and she was reading it to me during our session, and I was just like, I was just holding back.
31:37
Constance: I was like, I just want to cry.
31:39
Constance: And I was just like, oh my God, this is so touching.
31:41
Constance: I was like, and just to see her, like the transformation that she had gone through, I was like, oh, this is why I'm doing this.
31:50
Constance: Like this is so I'm like, I it's so fulfilling to see people reach their next level and and do the inner work.
32:00
Constance: And it's it's hard, you know, it's much easier to to ignore it and and say you don't want to do it, right?
32:06
Constance: And so it was um, oh my goodness, it is it's touching and it it's fulfilling, definitely.
32:14
Cassandra: Yeah, it's like I keep like the title is finding fulfillment through our purpose, you know.
32:19
Cassandra: And when we're doing what we ordained to do, I say, is how you feel so alive, you know.
32:29
Cassandra: It's like when you wake up in the morning, like, okay, I have to do this, you know, really, really excited about it.
32:35
Cassandra: And I'll say this again it's not every day that you wake up like, yeah, because if you did that, I'm like, something's wrong with that person.
32:43
Cassandra: But um, it is you do feel fulfilled or fulfilled through your purpose.
32:51
Cassandra: Now, um you talked about success sometimes feels empty.
32:59
Cassandra: Why is that?
33:03
Constance: Yeah, if you're change chasing success again for external validation, right?
33:09
Constance: So in this had hit me when I had really understood this, I was listening to a podcast, this was uh years ago, um, to he was a billionaire, and uh I won't say his name, pretty well known, but he um talking about his achievements, and he woke up one day and he was like, I mean, he he's like the definition of success, right?
33:32
Constance: And he was like, I am like not happy, I'm not fulfilled.
33:35
Constance: I this is I'm miserable.
33:38
Constance: And he he left everything, he left his his company that he'd built and all of these things, and it's because it for high achievers, they have we have been programmed at a young age, um, and and it's no one's fault.
33:55
Constance: The parents or caregivers, it's it's everyone's just doing their best, right?
33:59
Constance: But through school, we're we're we're programmed that okay.
34:03
Constance: If you if you win this, if you get straight A's, if you win the spelling B, it's you're worthy, yay, we're celebrating you, right?
34:10
Constance: It's all of these achievements that we're brought up to believe define our worth.
34:16
Constance: So high achievers, as they continue to grow throughout you know their life, yeah, they attach their all of their achievements with their worth.
34:25
Constance: With but if you take all that away, they're like you take all their success away, they're they have very, very, very low self-worth.
34:33
Cassandra: Yes.
34:34
Constance: So success driven from ego and extra external validation is unfulfilling.
34:41
Constance: But if you have, but there's also good ego, right?
34:44
Constance: And if you are driven by again, what fulfills your soul, take away all of the achievements and all of the external validation.
34:51
Constance: Are you fulfilled?
34:53
Constance: Are you happy?
34:54
Constance: If if nobody knew what I did, I'm still fulfilled.
34:59
Constance: Like every day when I get off my off my calls, I'm extremely, extremely fulfilled with the work that I'm doing, right?
35:06
Constance: I don't need an award, I don't need a coach award or anything like that.
35:10
Constance: I'm feeling, I'm just like happy with with how that I'm serving.
35:14
Constance: So, and to me, that's that's success, right?
35:17
Constance: To feel to feel that fulfillment.
35:20
Constance: Yeah, it's not the it's not the number that's that's in my bank account.
35:24
Constance: It is the at the end of the day, was I able to show up and serve my clients at my at the highest level.
35:32
Constance: And if I can say yes, then I had a successful day.
35:36
Cassandra: Exactly, exactly.
35:38
Cassandra: Because it kind of goes back to when people meet each other, they say, So what do you do?
35:42
Cassandra: They're like, Okay, you know, so it's you feel like I had to do something grandiose for them to like accept me or like, oh, make me feel important or whatever, you know.
35:53
Cassandra: And I I was I was listening to uh somebody else, and you know, we you're talking about connections and how important it is.
36:02
Cassandra: And he he said, Well, why next time you see somebody or meet somebody you don't really know?
36:07
Cassandra: Ask them, what is it about what you do you like?
36:11
Cassandra: And I said, hmm, I like that, you know, kind of open them up and you know, so that kind of can kind of help them figure out their values as well in understanding and recognizing what it is that they like.
36:25
Cassandra: Um yeah, I thought that was a good one.
36:29
Cassandra: That was a good one.
36:30
Cassandra: Um, and you also talked about how values can give understanding and knowing what your values influence your clarity and direction in life as well.
36:47
Cassandra: And I thought that was really, really good.
36:50
Cassandra: Uh, so Constance, I would like for you um to share with my listeners that are stuck, that are in their way, give them some tips or advice or encouragement or whatever you're feeling that you would like to leave them with today.
37:13
Constance: Yeah, absolutely.
37:13
Constance: Great.
37:14
Constance: This is a great question.
37:15
Constance: So the first thing I would say is ask yourself a goal or a vision that is at least 85% achievable for you in your personal professional life in the next, I would say six to 12 months, right?
37:31
Constance: And journal and journal that out, what that goal might be and what the vision of that looks like and really embody it.
37:39
Constance: And then journal, where are you now?
37:41
Constance: And look at that gap and then journal what is holding me back?
37:49
Constance: Why is it, why am I not there now?
37:53
Constance: What do I need to overcome?
37:56
Constance: What limiting beliefs am I self-sabotaging?
37:59
Constance: Am I seeing certain patterns that are, you know, continue to show up?
38:03
Constance: Like, am I people pleasing?
38:04
Constance: Like, what does that look like?
38:06
Constance: And then, and this is the probably the most one of the most important questions you could ask yourself is if I hold on to this limiting belief or this block, how does it serve me?
38:21
Constance: What do I gain from this staying this staying stuck, right?
38:27
Constance: Because that again is the part that a lot of us miss.
38:30
Constance: That that thing that's keeping us stuck is actually trying to serve us.
38:34
Constance: It's trying to be our our friend.
38:36
Constance: And it's like our annoying best friend, right?
38:38
Constance: That we want to go away, but we just have to accept it.
38:42
Constance: We have to see we have the awareness around it.
38:44
Constance: Now we have to accept it.
38:45
Constance: So once you understand how it's trying to serve you, and that can be hard.
38:49
Constance: So that's my where maybe you have to bring in a coach or mentor or someone to help you work through that and and see what it what that is and how it's serving you.
38:58
Constance: Then once you can see that, then write down one action step that you can take in the next week that will help you get closer to this six-month goal.
39:08
Cassandra: Yeah, that's good.
39:09
Cassandra: Actions and action steps are critical.
39:12
Cassandra: You can think I'm gonna do this, this, but take an action.
39:16
Cassandra: So that was some great advice.
39:18
Constance: Yes, thank you.
39:20
Cassandra: I appreciate that.
39:21
Cassandra: Uh, how can my listeners get in touch with you?
39:24
Constance: Yeah, so the best way to get in touch with me is one, you can follow me on my Instagram, which is Constance Curtis, or you can um email me too.
39:34
Constance: It's Constance at LegacyPeace.com.
39:37
Cassandra: Okay, okay.
39:37
Cassandra: All right.
39:39
Cassandra: Well, Constance, we'll have to wrap this up.
39:42
Cassandra: I want to thank you so much for your wisdom, uh, the knowledge that you gained through your life experiences.
39:50
Cassandra: And I know that there is something I wrote down notes myself that my listeners can go back on.
39:57
Cassandra: It can even re-listen to this.
39:59
Cassandra: And I also ask them to share this with others if you feel that this is this is perfect for them, you know, finding fulfillment through purpose and just with the information you provided everyone with.
40:13
Cassandra: I think kudos, kudos.
40:15
Cassandra: And like I always say to my listeners, and um, and I this is what I say to my listener, always say bye for now because I will be back.
40:27
Cassandra: You know, and uh Constance again, thank you.
40:32
Cassandra: Thank you.
40:32
Cassandra: Yeah, yeah, and God bless my listeners as well as well.
40:39
Cassandra: Thanks again.