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Wild Sheep Testicles · Armstrong & Getty One More Thing

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: How much you want for those wild sheep testicles. It's
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: one more thing. I'm one more thing that reminds me
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: I've got testicles. No, it reminds me leg my son
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: brought up. I thought we were gonna eat Rocky Mountain
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: oysters when we were in Kansas, and I forgot. He's
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: been wanting to try rocky Mountain oysters. Which have you
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: ever been anywhere, Katie. You're a lifetime Bay Area person.
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  Speaker 1: They probably don't have rocky Mountain oysters anywhere there.
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  Speaker 2: No, I have not had rocky Mountain oysters, but it
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  Speaker 2: was as common as anything could be as bar.
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  Speaker 3: Food for me, like in college, and that sort of stuff.
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  Speaker 3: Cow testicles fried up, And I told my son we'd
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  Speaker 3: try and when we were back in which I taught.
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  Speaker 4: Us see Grandma and Grandpa, but we forgot to. We
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  Speaker 4: will next time.
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  Speaker 5: Oh darn.
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  Speaker 1: You know me, I believe it's karmically unacceptable. It's just,
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  Speaker 1: you know, I don't belong to any religion that forbids
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  Speaker 1: me from eating any particular foods. But I've crafted my
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  Speaker 1: own set of beliefs, and I will not eat another man's,
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  Speaker 1: even if it is a cow man. I will not
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  Speaker 1: eat another creature's testicules.
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  Speaker 2: What about juggling them, I.
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  Speaker 5: Asked, because I did that. I juggled pig testicles for charity.
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  Speaker 4: Oh really I did.
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  Speaker 5: They were quite slick.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: M That is one of my favorite things you've ever said.
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  Speaker 6: Yeah, I didn't see that coming.
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  Speaker 1: I juggled pig testicles for charity. They were quite slick. Yep.
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: The feed lots in western Kansas used to once a
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  Speaker 3: summer they have what they called a ball fry because
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  Speaker 3: they had such a so many of them built up
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  Speaker 3: over a year of castration, had a ball fry and
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: that's everybody would come out, and that's how you go
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  Speaker 3: through them all.
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  Speaker 1: Well, I suppose it is putting them to use as
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  Speaker 1: opposed to just them. Yeah, wasting uh or juggling them
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  Speaker 1: like some sort of savage was entertaining.
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  Speaker 5: So then we played tug war with the intestines after
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  Speaker 5: it was a long day.
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  Speaker 4: Oh my lord.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah. We called it the meat circus. It was a
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  Speaker 5: whole thing.
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  Speaker 4: What was yeah, what was the charity?
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  Speaker 5: Oh, I can't remember what it was.
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  Speaker 2: It was something that was going against PETA though we
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  Speaker 2: were donating to, like I think it was a butcher
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  Speaker 2: shop or something.
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  Speaker 1: So we were a fundamentalist militia. The charity wasn't The
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  Speaker 1: charity wasn't neuticles for ballless hogs?
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  Speaker 4: Was it that? I don't know, weird circular logic thing there.
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  Speaker 3: Uh So this reminded me of a Saturday A Live
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  Speaker 3: bit from Saturday Night the idea because these uh Rocky
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  Speaker 3: Mountain oysters you could get him with your cheeseburger where
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  Speaker 3: you got fries or that or whatever? And they did
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: you see the shrimp tower skit on Saturday Night Live?
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: I did not, But James Broland that's what makes so funny,
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: one of the greatest actors of all time playing the
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  Speaker 3: lead role. Anyways, He's throwing a very fancy party and
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  Speaker 3: he has a shrimp tower and it's just, you know,
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: a little shrimp.
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  Speaker 1: Built up to the shape of a tower. Anyway, he
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  Speaker 1: called it the thinking Man's mozzarella stick, which I thought,
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  Speaker 1: I'm very funny.
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  Speaker 4: That is dryly hilarious. Wow, that is funny. I'll have
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  Speaker 4: to seek that out. Yeah wow.
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  Speaker 1: So before I pay off the testicle related information, we
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: only got to play one of the two bits of
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: audio of Ai Jack that Tony the Listener put together.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: In the first one, Toward the end of it, Jack
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: confesses to be well. He says he's become a card
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: carrying communist. Michael, can we roll on with eleven?
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  Speaker 3: And I'm not just a regular comedy folks. You thought
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: Joey Stalin was a rough customer, You have no idea
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: how much a god fearing American can swing the old
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  Speaker 3: hammer and sickle. Two words, guys, two words, stone cold,
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  Speaker 3: stone cold Jack.
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  Speaker 4: That's my new name.
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  Speaker 3: And I can't wait to start assessing and regulating and
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  Speaker 3: confiscating and yes, finally redistributing everything you got, everything you
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: got hopes, dreams and everything in between, because this is
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: what happens when good guys go back. Like Anakin Skywalker,
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  Speaker 3: Jack Armstrong has embraced the dark side, like Spider Man
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  Speaker 3: when he started rocking the all black Spider suit that
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  Speaker 3: later became the character Venom. So that's it, guys, that's
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  Speaker 3: my confession, that's my convictions, that's my story, and I'm
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: sticking to it.
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  Speaker 4: Am I Red than dead? Better? Red than dead? Is
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  Speaker 4: not just the same? What am I done?
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  Speaker 3: Braz It's today's affirmation if you will, It's destiny manifest.
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  Speaker 3: Let's get the show on the road. Comrades, Katie House
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: traffic looking out there. So it sounds like me reading.
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  Speaker 3: But unless you've never had this happen before, and you
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  Speaker 3: probably haven't, hearing your own voice say things you never
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: said is weird. It's weirdly disturbing. Yeah, I'll bet I've
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: heard my own voice a lot, obviously being in this
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: business on commercials and stuff like that. But you know
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  Speaker 3: I remember saying them, or know that I did. But
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: hearing yourself say things you never said is so weird.
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  Speaker 2: Well, and you know that's a that's a really great
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  Speaker 2: mockup of you. But our crew, we are listening to you,
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  Speaker 2: talking to you for hours every day, so I can
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: listen to that and go, yeah, it sounds like Jack.
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  Speaker 2: But somebody who doesn't listen to all that often or whatever.
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  Speaker 5: You could clip some of that out and put it
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  Speaker 5: on the internet and somebody go.
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  Speaker 4: He said what absolutely easily? Yeah, oh yeah.
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  Speaker 1: The experience of hearing yourself say something abhorrent that you've
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  Speaker 1: never said. I mean, that's and that that's common and
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  Speaker 1: I have it will make life worse. I don't think
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  Speaker 1: it's going to be a huge problem because people will
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  Speaker 1: get used to it in a hurry. That a tape
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: comes out of me saying something utterly terrible, and I'll
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  Speaker 1: say I never said that, that's AI and people go, oh, okay,
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  Speaker 1: I think pretty quickly. But there will be a period
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  Speaker 1: of might just be a few weeks where you could
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: really screw up people's lives with that sort of thing,
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  Speaker 1: where the capability is aware, is ahead of the awareness
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  Speaker 1: of the capability enough that you could, you know, blackmail
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  Speaker 1: people or ruin them. I hate to imagine some of
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  Speaker 1: the things that will happen. That's weird, that's strange. BurrH Yeah, anyway,
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  Speaker 1: do me next, do me, but not so rambly. Keep
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: it short, giemony anyway. So this is a sort of
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  Speaker 1: story don't come into every day. Of the many crimes
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  Speaker 1: I've dreamed of committing, I've never contemplated this one. A
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: Montana rancher has illegally used tissues and testicles from wild
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  Speaker 1: sheep killed by hunters in Central Asia to attempt to
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  Speaker 1: breed through cloning giant hybrids for sale to private hunting
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  Speaker 1: reserves in Texas. Now, I don't know why this guy's
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: like being accused of all sorts of felonies. They're probably
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  Speaker 1: good reasons for it, but he conspired with at least
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  Speaker 1: five other people in a quote decade long effort to
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  Speaker 1: create giant hybrid sheep that would get higher prices from
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  Speaker 1: hunting preserves. Who's hunting sheep like a big horn sheep?
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  Speaker 1: People shooting? Should have made that more clear.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, I didn't know people hunted and shot bighorn sheep for.
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  Speaker 1: The big curly horns.
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  Speaker 3: So yeah, yeah, don't they Are they like other sheep?
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  Speaker 3: Did they just stand there in a meadow kind of hunting?
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  Speaker 1: Is that?
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  Speaker 4: No?
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  Speaker 2: No, they're a little more aggressive, I believe.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, they're more elky, more mountain goateee in their behavior.
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  Speaker 1: But anyway, so this guy, he's eighty years old. Von
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  Speaker 1: Montana pleaded guilty to felony charges wildlife trafficking and conspiracy
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  Speaker 1: to traffic wildlife. He used flesh obtained from a hunter
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  Speaker 1: who had killed a sheep in Kyrgyzstan belonging to the
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  Speaker 1: world's largest species of the animals, Marco polo Argalli sheep,
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  Speaker 1: and he used the genetics from the meat to get
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  Speaker 1: cloned embryos from a lab later implanted in a u
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  Speaker 1: w E, resulting in a pure Marco Polo Argly sheep
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  Speaker 1: that Schubert named Mountain Mountain. Oh, I'm sorry, Montana Mountain King.
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  Speaker 1: Then he took semen from this thing to artificially impregnate
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  Speaker 1: other us to create a larger and more valuable species
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  Speaker 1: as sheep.
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  Speaker 4: I hate that for some reason.
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  Speaker 5: What impregnate semen?
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, wine, I don't know, hmm, I don't.
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  Speaker 5: Guy.
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  Speaker 2: This guy has one hell of a hobby going around
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  Speaker 2: doing have all the things to decide.
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  Speaker 4: This is what we're gonna do with your life. We're
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  Speaker 4: gonna make the biggest dang sheep you've ever seen.
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  Speaker 1: I can preach gigantic sheep and sell them to Texans. Now,
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  Speaker 1: I understand you can't have just any meat and beast
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  Speaker 1: brought into the country for reasons of, you know, protecting
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  Speaker 1: our beasts and all, but trying to create massive sheeps
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  Speaker 1: is pretty far down my list of things I want
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  Speaker 1: to see prosecuted.
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  Speaker 5: And I'm sorry.
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  Speaker 2: Did you see this guy is eighty years old and
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  Speaker 2: are going after Okay, it's like.
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  Speaker 4: His life's dream.
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  Speaker 1: Clearly his bucket list was giant sheep. Yeah, his white
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  Speaker 1: whale is a giant sheep. This will happen.
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  Speaker 3: I mean, if it's doable, I assume it'll happen somewhere
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  Speaker 3: in the world and we'll get really big sheep and
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  Speaker 3: kangaroos and everything else.
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  Speaker 4: Probably.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, I find myself thinking about the days of yore
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  Speaker 1: when human beings were fewer and giant mammals roamed all
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  Speaker 1: across North America, you know, like quadruple big rhinos and
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  Speaker 1: enormous elephants. And I can't remember all of the different
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  Speaker 1: prehistoric beasts there were that were much much larger than
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  Speaker 1: they are now. But they are hunted to extinction.
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  Speaker 3: And my son was actually talking about this yesterday. The
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  Speaker 3: especially in Australia, they had a period of the giant
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  Speaker 3: beast or something what is called where everything was extra
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  Speaker 3: extra big. They're on Australia, isolated from the rest of
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  Speaker 3: the world. Kangaroos, all kinds of different things were way, way,
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  Speaker 3: way bigger than they are now for a period of time.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, camel obs, saber toothed cats, these are prehistoric mammals
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  Speaker 2: from North America.
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  Speaker 1: The mammoth, yeah, the giant beaver, the wooly mammoth is
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  Speaker 1: part of that.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, the dire wolf, the.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: Giant beaver, yeah, no easy, the giant short faced bear,
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  Speaker 1: freaking commercial.
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  Speaker 5: I love those.
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  Speaker 4: Up you shovel, never buy your product. You shut up.
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  Speaker 1: This bear was fourteen feet long, could run forty miles.
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  Speaker 1: Holy crow, Oh my god, sabertoothed tiger and scimitar cat.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: Sabertooth tiger is heck? Any any young boy knows all
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  Speaker 1: about the sabertooth tiger. Coolest ever the dire wolf which
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  Speaker 1: Katie mentioned, Oh, the giant Latin terrible wolf.
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  Speaker 5: The giant beaver got up to eight feet long.
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  Speaker 1: Wow, I was working my way up to the giant beaver.
• 11:25
  Speaker 5: Oh, I'm sorry, I'm.
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  Speaker 4: Not going to start with it. Shows that it doesn't matter.
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  Speaker 1: I don't know.
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  Speaker 5: That's fine, I'm just I'll be over here.
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  Speaker 4: I quit.
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  Speaker 1: The mammoth and the mastodon. This is oh, this is
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: so good my inner little boy. Giant ground sloths twelve
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  Speaker 1: feet long, three thousand pounds. How seriously, how much meat
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  Speaker 1: would you get out of that? I'm a caveman. I'm
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: just hoping to survive. And you come across one of
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  Speaker 1: those things.
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  Speaker 4: You gotta kill it and eat it. Sloth again, tonight night, sloth.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: Hey, Hey, there's three thousand pounds of the meat in
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: the freezer. You shut up again, miss damn commercial. Get
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  Speaker 1: off my screen. The Camelops. Oh, the Camelops.
• 12:15
  Speaker 5: That's the cool name.
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  Speaker 4: Let's see.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it is big as hell apparently. Oh there it is,
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  Speaker 1: uh eighteen hundred pounds seven feet tall at its shoulders.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: Never mind, it's nogging and humpless, humpless, humpless. You heard me.
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: I was that way for a long time. Yeah, too long.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: Uh the giant beaver.
• 12:37
  Speaker 4: There you have it. In the American zebra. There you go.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: And remember herds of American horses traveled west across the
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: land Bridge to Asia, eventually spreading to Africa. So they
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: think the zebra is uh wait a minute, isn't so
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: Africa's culturally appropriating our striped horses. Oh jeez, those are
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: our striped horses.
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: And remember the shrimp is a thinking man's mozzarella.
• 13:02
  Speaker 4: Stick, so good. You know.
• 13:06
  Speaker 6: I grew up in a true story and in my
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  Speaker 6: neighborhood because I lived out in the middle of nowhere.
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  Speaker 6: We had camel's next door buffalo, and then we had sheep,
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  Speaker 6: so it was it was literally I grew up in
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  Speaker 6: a zoo. The sheep were pretty large. They're destructive. They'll
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  Speaker 6: they'll knock down a fence.
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  Speaker 1: Not large enough, not compared to the Montana sheep. Well,
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: I'm not impressed. I guess that's it.