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The Attempt to Develop Tolerance and Understanding to Avoid Quarrelling · Sri Aurobindo Studies

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  When one begins to consider how the faults, we find in others
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  are those to, which we ourselves are susceptible, and that we see
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  them through the focus and Affinity that we have to them,
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  as the synchronicity of the universe, brings forward to us.
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  Those very things that we are naturally, attracting.
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  It becomes clear that these events become an opportunity for
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  inner work to change oneself. By doing this, we overcome the
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  urge to castigate others or upgrade them for their very
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  behavior that we ourselves remain capable of doing.
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  This, is the basis of serious progress in the individual
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  sadhna and helps to focus and control the energy in such a way
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  that it works towards growth and development rather than being
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  wasted in useless. Negativity, the mother writes
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  quote, Try to experience this, it will greatly help you to
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  change yourselves at the same time, it will bring a sunny
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  tolerance to your relationships with others the Goodwill which
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  comes from understanding and it will very often put an end to
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  these completely useless corals one can live without quarreling.
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  It seems strange to say this because as things are it would
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  seem on the contrary that life is made for quarrelling.
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  In the sense that the main occupation of people who are
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  together is to quarrel overtly or covertly, you do not always
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  come to words. You do not always come to blows
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  fortunately, but you are in a state of Perpetual irritation
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  within because you do not find around you, the Perfection that
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  you would yourself wish to realize and which you find
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  rather difficult to realize but you find it entirely natural
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  that Others should realize it. How can they be like that?
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  You forget how difficult you find it in yourself.
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  Not to be like that. Try you will see look upon
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  everything with a benevolent, smile.
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  Take all the things which irritate you as a lesson for
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  yourself and your life will be more peaceful and more effective
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  as well for a great percentage of your energy.
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  Certainly goes to waste in the irritation.
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  You feel when you do not find in others the Perfection that you
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  would like to realize in yourself and quote, reference
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  SRI aurobindo in the mother living within the yoga approach
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  to psychological health and growth exercises for growth and
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  Mastery using Life as a mirror Pages, 158 to 161