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Fuck You: Fake Emotional Support Animals · Let's Get Naked

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, you may remember a couple weeks back that there was some barking during one of your episodes.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: And why was there barking during one of your episodes?
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: We are in an office building that is a high-end luxury office building here in Scottsdale, Arizona.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's because our neighbors refuse to take accountability for the fact that their dogs are disrupting our ability to successfully run our business.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: But then our landlord cannot do anything because they are fake service animals, not even emotional support animals.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: Emotional support animals, you have to have your doctor write a note.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's also a joke.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: But in Arizona, to be a service animal, you don't actually have to go through any type of training.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: Are these the type of dogs you would expect to be service animals?
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: You know, maybe a husky or something large that can guide you around?
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely not.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: They each weigh probably two and a half pounds and they bark like it's their motherfucking job.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: And it is the bane of my mental existence.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: But there is nothing that has been done about it.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: And we've been at this for eight months.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: This whole like make it make sense thing doesn't make sense to me.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: Because I look at people that take dogs everywhere, and I think, and and and I'm a dog lover, I think that's great.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: I think you have a dog, I think that's excellent.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: But we have literally shit the bed on how we are able to uh just take our dogs wherever we want to.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: The fact that somebody can go on Amazon and buy a stupid vest for their dog that looks like it was bought on Amazon, right?
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: Is an insult to our vets, to our fucking people who have serious savage PTSD, who have dogs that were trained to be their service animals and their emotional support.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: What a fuck you to them to be to go do that.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what kind of balls do people have where they put that shit on their dogs and then walk into a grocery store where we serve food, where we serve food, and then no one says anything about it.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: And this to me pisses me off to no end because it's like, you know, Cameron and I were talking a couple weeks ago when he was on about it's never the first guy that's the problem in line, it's guy number two.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: And in this, in this scenario, the store manager is guy number two.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: The fact that they don't have the balls to come say something and say, hey, you can't have that dog in here is bullshit because I have witnessed now in the last couple of years a dog that was sitting there licking food, licking the fucking hamburger meat package.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: Now I realize that the there's still cellophane on top of that.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: I I came unglued at the poor woman that was at the store.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: I literally could not believe what was happening.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, you're she's like, no, he wasn't.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, yes, he was.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: And it's also not the dog's fault.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: So don't, I don't need dog lovers coming after me for this.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: I love dogs too.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's not the dog's fault.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: I do too.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: If you put a hamburger in front of a dog that's sitting right there while you're looking at the fucking milk and the yogurt and the dog is licking it, it's not the dog's fault.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: You're an asshole for bringing your dog into the grocery store.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: I watched a man bring in a dog bed into a restaurant for his dog.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know how gross dog beds are?
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: Dogs hump their beds, they wipe their assholes on their fucking beds, they wipe their fucking privates on their beds, they throw up on their beds, hair balls, fucking gross.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: He brought that thing into a restaurant and no one fucking stopped him and set it on the fucking seat and then let his dog get up there.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: Do we not realize that fucking people have allergies to fucking animals?
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: That you can just bring those wherever you want.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like the restaurants, for example, Oso, if you're in Arizona, they're designed for people who want to bring their dogs to a restaurant, and you know that.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, I purposely don't eat at Oso because I find that extremely fucking annoying.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: I would like to eat without dogs barking.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: You know, let's not even talk about the like the hygiene of it.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: But I just choose to not go there, right?
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: And that's a choice I got to make.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: They got to market themselves.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, we love having the dogs.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: Great, cool.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: Love that for you.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: Time in a place, right?
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: Time in the place for people who have pets who also own a business.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_01: The pets should stay at home and you should go to your business.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: That should not become my problem as your neighboring tenant.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: It is absolutely unacceptable because now we're hiding behind, oh, it's my emotional, these are our kids, is the excuse that I got.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, well, my cats are my kids until then.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: Bring them to normal ones.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: But I, you know what I mean?
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not bringing them to the office.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: When when people, I think the line is when people start putting their stuff onto other people where it affects other people.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Because it would be one thing if you're the only people in the office, the dogs don't bark, they don't bother anybody, by all means.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to, you don't have to get the fake vest.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: Just bring your shit, you know, bring your dogs.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Totally cool.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Totally cool.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Have zero problems with that.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: But as soon as it comes in, now it's in my lane.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: And also you're offended that I said, hey, your shit's in my lane and it isn't working for me.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: Then they get offended, like, oh, you must not be a dog lover or what a horrible person you are.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: You were like, well, in our last building, everyone loved them and wanted to babysit them.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, and that's great, but that's not me.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's not, yeah.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: And also it doesn't have to be.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: You're in my lane, asshole, and I'm gonna need you to get out of my lane.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: So I can just do my basic business operation.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like it is that asking too much.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: You know, when we when we talk about the food and the restaurants and the people that are saying that it's their emotional support, if you're not emotionally stable enough to go to the fucking grocery store without your dog, stay home.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: We'll deliver your groceries.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: Stay home.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: We've all we've all taken a vote.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: We've all we've all taken a vote.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone agreed.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: No one wants fucking dogs around where the food is.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's fine.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: I went to Scotstoel Fashion Square and literally stepped over dog shit that was in the fucking walkway.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: I can't get my head around that.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: I got tired of watching people drag themselves through life half dead from exhaustion, comparison, and bullshit.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: So I built a system that flips the script.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: This book is for the ones who refuse to settle, who know deep down there's more, and who are ready to call themselves out to level up.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: If that's you, welcome.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: You can get your copy of the Life Hack playbook on Amazon or on the podcast website, let's get nakedpodcast.com.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: I was in Atlanta Airport last night going to the lounge because we were delayed.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: Freaking three dogs, and I was like, this is not the place for that.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's not.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: I I'm I'm I was flying down to Costa Rica, and I have somebody next to me that has a dog.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm allergic to dogs, right?
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: When you do an allergy test, I light up like a Christmas tree.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm allergic to dogs, I'm allergic to cats, I'm allergic to horses, I'm allergic to all of these things.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: You're going to now put a dog next to me in a tin can that we're gonna fly through the sky.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: I can't get off of this plane for five hours.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: I literally sat there with my nose running and my eyes watering and sneezing and coffee.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: And that's okay because we don't want to make that guy uncomfortable, but fuck me.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna sit there miserable the whole entire time.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's outrageous to me.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's like we've literally lost our minds, and there's no, we're not correcting anything.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: We're just continuing to go.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: And again, it's trying to make that smaller percentage of people comfortable.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: And by doing that, we're gonna shit on the majority of people who maybe think, yes, let's have some dog ownership, but let's do it in a responsible way where it doesn't get on other people.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm in a store.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: A dog literally lifts its leg and pisses all over the place.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I said something-cause it's an animal, so like that does it.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, totally get it.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: I said something to the lady, she called me a cunt.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: She called me a cunt.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, don't speak my love language.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: I know exactly, don't speak my love language.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, are you asking me out?
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, seriously, because you talk to me like that and I get real excited.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: But it's like, I'm in the wrong.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm in the wrong because I'm like, hey, you want to clean that up?
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't, I didn't even like, I just pointed out to her so maybe she could take responsibility.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: If my kid was somewhere, if I take a toddler out and he whips his dick out and pisses all over the place, I'm not gonna be like, hey, fuck you, mind your business to someone who says, hey, you want to clean up after your kid.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: I just can't get my head around that.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: People just have lost their minds.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: And again, it goes back to the whole being offended about everything.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: You're offended because I said you're an asshole for bringing your dog in and licking the food that now some poor unsuspecting person is gonna come pick up that package of meat, you know, or some old lady is gonna slip on the dog piss break a hip.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's like fuck off.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: Fuck off.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: If you're that dog owner, it's gotten out of hand.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: If you're that dog owner that thinks that you should just be able to walk around with your dog wherever you want to, and then you're the store manager who says nothing about it because you don't want to ruffle anybody's feathers, screw the rest of us who don't think that this is okay, right?
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this is ridiculous.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I'd like to do?
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna come up with like some sort of app so that we can just all vote on this kind of stuff.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: And it'll just be majority rules, right?
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like I love that.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't that a great idea?
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: People say that we can't figure these things out.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: We can figure these things out.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, let everybody every phone IP address or however the fuck they work, make phones work.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone gets a vote.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: How do we think that this should?
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: And then we just go with the majority on it, right?
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's like they created dog parks for a reason.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: For dog owners to have a place where they can go and the dogs can run free and go crazy and play and do all their things.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: That makes perfect sense.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: We love that for that.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: 100%.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: But the whole world is not now your dog park.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_01: 100%.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: And and like you said, the restaurants, oh so and the restaurants that want to cater to that love that.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's perfect.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: Love that.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: I think that that's excellent, right?
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: I think that that's great.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's where they're encouraged to be.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: The grocery store or inside restaurants where there's food that is doctor's office before.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: Outrageous.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: Outrageous.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and again, the fact that no one says anything about it is what causes problems because then you have that person that's already at a fucking seven or an eight, and then something pisses them off.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: That's where you got people fucking losing their minds and doing fucked up shit and burning their lives to grapple.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: Who is the fucked up losing their mind person?
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: Because I can't get any relief from this situation.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's and that is me.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: That is true.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, well, we're gonna have to come back.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: What is I?
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna we're gonna circle back on that and come up with some good solutions that don't include full.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_01: I told her before she started this, she's rage beating me on this.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: I am the rage.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so so just FYI.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: Get real about you know, the entitlement that you think that you can take your animal wherever you want to.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: And that's all we're gonna say about that.