Latest / Anele and the Club on 947 / Sune does not want to attend her friend's wedding because she was not chosen as a bridesmaid, is she wrong?

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Sune does not want to attend her friend's wedding because she was not chosen as a bridesmaid, is she wrong? · Anele and the Club on 947

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  Speaker 1: Wake up with a bang.
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  Speaker 2: Hey, wake up!
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  Speaker 3: Anele and the club.
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  Speaker 1: On 947.
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  Speaker 3: So this voice note came in on Sunday. Today's Tuesday, eh? Yeah,
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: that's right. It came in on Sunday on 0840000947. And
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  Speaker 3: then yesterday we ran out of time. We did want
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  Speaker 3: to discuss it yesterday, which is just as well because
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  Speaker 3: my angel, my darling, this is not a problem. Hi there.
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  Speaker 4: I made my good friend Taryn a bridesmaid at my
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  Speaker 4: wedding three years ago and she's now getting married and
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  Speaker 4: she didn't make me a bridesmaid in her wedding party.
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  Speaker 4: I'm not really sure if I should be going. What
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  Speaker 4: do you think?
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  Speaker 3: Then Taryn's not your friend, love. If her saying you're
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  Speaker 3: not going to be a bridesmaid, you don't want to
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  Speaker 3: now go to a wedding, you don't consider her a friend.
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  Speaker 4: Oh.
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  Speaker 3: No, honestly, stop this thing.
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  Speaker 5: No, I think that you don't have to be, just
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  Speaker 5: because she had you doesn't mean you have to have,
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  Speaker 5: I mean, just because you had her doesn't mean she.
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  Speaker 3: Has to have you.
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  Speaker 5: And exactly that. You should be happy that she's getting married.
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  Speaker 5: You should be happy for her that she's found love.
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  Speaker 5: Who she chooses is her choice. It might make you
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  Speaker 5: Sometimes in life, you can quickly realize that Taryn might
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  Speaker 5: be your friend, but you might not be her friend. Like,
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  Speaker 5: she might not see you the way you see her.
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  Speaker 3: Like, you are in her... Taryn is in your top five,
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  Speaker 3: but for Taryn, you're not in her top five. And
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  Speaker 3: that's also okay, guys.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's okay. Exactly that. Then don't go. You don't
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  Speaker 1: have to go to this wedding because I would be
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  Speaker 1: very upset if I... It's three years, guys. Three years.
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  Speaker 5: And that.
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  Speaker 1: That's the important part for me here. It's just the
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  Speaker 1: other day.
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  Speaker 3: Can I tell you.
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  Speaker 1: It's just the other day you were my bridesmaid.
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  Speaker 3: Out of all of my bridesmaids, the ones that are
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  Speaker 3: not married, and I got married literally last year. If
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  Speaker 3: any of them got married in the next three years
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  Speaker 3: and I'm not a bridesmaid, I would not take it personally.
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  Speaker 3: I would be at that wedding ripping up that dance floor.
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  Speaker 5: Okay.
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  Speaker 1: But you're a better person than me. Did we get
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  Speaker 1: a name of this person?
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  Speaker 3: Well, Taryn is the one we were all.
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  Speaker 1: Because Taryn is the friend.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: That's not.
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  Speaker 3: Oh, Sone.
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  Speaker 1: Sone.
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  Speaker 3: Sone is the one who's upset.
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  Speaker 1: Okay. It's tricky.
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  Speaker 3: No, it's not.
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  Speaker 2: Do you know why it's tricky? Because she's working on
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  Speaker 2: like this three-year period. But we all know that relationships
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  Speaker 2: can evolve quite a lot in three years. Maybe they
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  Speaker 2: were a lot closer when the one friend got married then.
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  Speaker 2: So it would be interesting to see how the friendship
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  Speaker 2: may have changed then from, I don't know, three years, 2023.
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  Speaker 2: and 2026 in that time, are they as close as
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  Speaker 2: they used to be? Because Taryn still likes her. She
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  Speaker 2: likes her enough to invite her to the wedding. So
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  Speaker 2: she's not her friend anymore.
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  Speaker 3: And I'll be the first to admit that since I
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  Speaker 3: got married, I'm less available. So maybe that's the thing, Sone.
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  Speaker 3: You have become less available to Taryn. And she's like, okay,
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  Speaker 3: thumbs up to that. I need my bridesmaids to be,
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  Speaker 3: you know, readily available for me. And I'm not going
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  Speaker 3: to put that on you.
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  Speaker 1: No, no, no, no.
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  Speaker 2: But even then, I want Sone, you're petty, my baby.
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  Speaker 2: I think not being asked to be part of a
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  Speaker 2: bridal party is a gift. I can't bear the hours
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  Speaker 2: of rehearsal and choosing random things. I actually don't care
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  Speaker 2: how far the designer is with your dress.
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  Speaker 1: It should be tit for tat. Yeah, because she picked
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  Speaker 1: her because she considered her as her best friend. So
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  Speaker 1: meaning Tara's not considering her as a best friend then.
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  Speaker 6: I was in the situation. So my brother and my
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  Speaker 6: sister-in-law now, she made me her maid of honor, which
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  Speaker 6: I was very honored about. But now I'm getting married
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  Speaker 6: next year. And unfortunately, she's not part of my wedding party.
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  Speaker 6: It's just that's how things worked out. And I just
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  Speaker 6: feel like if you want to take offense for it.
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  Speaker 6: You know, that's up to you.
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  Speaker 7: If my friendship with you has certain limitations or certain
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  Speaker 7: expectations that I won't always be able to reach and
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  Speaker 7: disappoint you, then we shouldn't be friends.
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  Speaker 2: Because it's not a triple M scheme. It's not a
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  Speaker 2: WhatsApp stock file where it's rotating. So everyone gets a
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  Speaker 2: turn to be a bridesmaid at the other's wedding.
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  Speaker 1: That's not how it works. No, it is how it works.
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  Speaker 3: No, and maybe you don't vibe with my friends and
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  Speaker 3: I vibe with yours. Then what? I don't want you
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  Speaker 3: around my friendship circles.
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  Speaker 1: No, if we were close enough three years ago for
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  Speaker 1: me to be, unless we've had a falling out, but
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  Speaker 1: then Sine wouldn't be sending this voice note. They're still friends.
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  Speaker 1: They're still close. And she's saying, I had Taryn as
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  Speaker 1: my bridesmaid and that's weird. She's obviously sending this thing
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  Speaker 1: because she says it's weird that I'm not.
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  Speaker 3: Sanae is sending this because she's worried about what people
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  Speaker 3: will say.
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  Speaker 2: But Frankie, so you're only willing to celebrate your friends,
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  Speaker 2: possibly one of the happiest days in your friend's life
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  Speaker 2: if they give you some sort of official role.
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  Speaker 1: No, but she's saying that I didn't get the role
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  Speaker 1: and now I'm feeling some kind of way about it.
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  Speaker 2: She's saying I'm not going to even come to your
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  Speaker 2: wedding because how dare you not give me an official role.
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  Speaker 3: A date that's not yours. You want to make it
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  Speaker 3: be about you.
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  Speaker 1: No, it's not about me. It's about being a bridesmaid.
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  Speaker 3: Oh, okay, princess.
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  Speaker 4: 011-8838-947.
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  Speaker 3: Three versus one, eh? And we are so calm about this.
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  Speaker 3: You're the one who's like getting.
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  Speaker 1: You guys are acting like no one has had this situation.
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  Speaker 1: I'm telling you right now, in the city, there are
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  Speaker 1: people walking around, groomsmen and bridesmaids.
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  Speaker 3: I had this.
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  Speaker 5: I had a friend as a bridesmaid and about, gosh, okay,
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  Speaker 5: it was a very long time later, but she didn't
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  Speaker 5: have me. We're still friends.
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  Speaker 1: I can understand if it's like 10 years, a decade,
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  Speaker 1: like maybe we grow apart, but three years.
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  Speaker 3: This is three years that's setting you off, eh?
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  Speaker 1: It's too close. It's too close.
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  Speaker 3: It's that cell phone contract. It's longer than a cell
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  Speaker 3: phone contract.
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  Speaker 2: It's literally enough time for a relationship to change.
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  Speaker 3: 011-8838-947. Weigh in. Why don't ya? Send us a voice
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  Speaker 3: note as well.
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  Speaker 4: 084-0000-947.
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  Speaker 3: We're going to listen to you, but we're definitely going
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  Speaker 3: to judge you. Hi there.
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  Speaker 4: I made my good friend Taryn a bridesmaid at my
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  Speaker 4: wedding three years ago. And she's now getting married and
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  Speaker 4: she didn't make me a bridesmaid in her wedding party.
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  Speaker 3: I'm not really sure if I should be going. What
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  Speaker 3: do you think?
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  Speaker 2: Come on, guys.
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  Speaker 3: We are adults.
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  Speaker 5: We are not in high school anymore.
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  Speaker 3: I mean, seriously, does it really matter? The day is
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  Speaker 3: not about you. It's about me. your friend and what
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  Speaker 3: she wants. The lady who's upset, don't come to the wedding. Simple,
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  Speaker 3: don't come to the wedding because then you're not a friend.
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  Speaker 5: I even switched off the radio when you played a
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  Speaker 5: voice note.
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  Speaker 7: I can't deal with that level of pettiness.
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  Speaker 5: Her whole voice is petty.
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  Speaker 3: Wow. Y'all are telling the whole truth and nothing but
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  Speaker 3: the truth. So help you God.
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  Speaker 1: I still feel, I get it, guys. I know what
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  Speaker 1: you're saying. You think it's petty, but it's not. It hurts.
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  Speaker 1: It hurts when you've had her as your bridesmaid and
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  Speaker 1: then she has a big day and she doesn't invite
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  Speaker 1: you to be part of the bridal party. I can understand.
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  Speaker 3: And things are going to hurt, Frankie, but as an adult,
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  Speaker 3: you're going to continue with your life. I think Sone
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  Speaker 3: feels like she's got FOMO of missing out on all
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  Speaker 3: of the things that the bridesmaids will do together and
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  Speaker 3: all of that. And then there's like this tight-knit friendship.
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  Speaker 1: Exactly. That's exactly what she has. She's got FOMO of
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  Speaker 1: that and she wants to be part of her friend
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  Speaker 1: friend's journey in that because her friend was.
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  Speaker 4: Part of hers.
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  Speaker 3: But you don't buy the tickets at Howla.
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  Speaker 4: No.
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  Speaker 3: You're invited.
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  Speaker 1: But it's three years. I keep saying this. Three years.
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  Speaker 1: Unless you had a big falling out, if they did,
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  Speaker 1: she wouldn't be sending that voice note.
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  Speaker 3: Natasha, you're in for a year now. Good morning.
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  Speaker 8: Good morning, guys. How are you?
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  Speaker 3: We're good, Natasha.
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  Speaker 5: How are you?
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  Speaker 8: I'm great, thank you.
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  Speaker 3: So, what do you think?
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  Speaker 8: So, I think... I was in the same situation. I
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  Speaker 8: made my best friend, obviously my maid of honor, and
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  Speaker 8: a few years back with my wedding. And with her wedding,
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  Speaker 8: I was just invited. I was not a part of
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  Speaker 8: the wedding party.
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  Speaker 4: And?
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  Speaker 8: But I feel... I was quite emotional about the story,
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  Speaker 8: but then I thought, but we're not in the same
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  Speaker 8: parts of our lives anymore. Like, we've outgrown each other
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  Speaker 8: in a part... Sorry. Sorry, I'm quite a bit nervous.
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  Speaker 3: It's okay, babe. Take a deep breath, babe.
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  Speaker 8: It's quite emotional for me speaking about this. She is
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  Speaker 8: still one of my closest friends. So it was emotional
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  Speaker 8: for me because I wanted to provide her with the
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  Speaker 8: joy and the support that she provided me on the day.
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  Speaker 8: But also, we're not in the same part of our
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  Speaker 8: lives anymore. So I understood that she had friends... that
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  Speaker 8: was providing her what she needed at that time. And
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  Speaker 8: I was just there on that day as the other friend.
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  Speaker 1: And, but I mean, you were the bigger person. You said,
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  Speaker 1: that's fine. I'm going to go to the wedding. Uh, what,
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  Speaker 1: was there any, I mean, did she get what you
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  Speaker 1: hoped she would get from those friends?
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  Speaker 8: I presume so. Cause obviously she had a great wedding.
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  Speaker 8: She was very happy. And also what she thanked me.
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  Speaker 8: Cause I was, I'm that person, I offer my help.
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  Speaker 8: So even after a lot of people have left, I
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  Speaker 8: also say, is there something I can do for you?
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  Speaker 8: Can I help you with something? Even with the shower,
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  Speaker 8: is there something I can do for you? Can I
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  Speaker 8: help you with something? So she appreciated that part of
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  Speaker 8: who I am. So I was just being the friend
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  Speaker 8: that I am to her.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, you see, because you, out of this, not once
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  Speaker 3: did you say, I'm not going to go to her
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  Speaker 3: wedding because she didn't make me a bridesmaid. And for you,
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  Speaker 3: it's a big deal here because she was your maid
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  Speaker 3: of honor. Because there's levels. There's maid of honor and
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  Speaker 3: then there's bridesmaids and then there's normal guests. So she
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  Speaker 3: downgraded you two levels.
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  Speaker 8: Yeah, but she's still one of my closest friends. I
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  Speaker 8: don't hold that against her or anything. But it's... I
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  Speaker 8: understand that we're not in the same parts of our
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  Speaker 8: lives anymore. Because I have kids. She's just got married.
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  Speaker 8: So it's... We're on a different path.
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  Speaker 1: Are you at the point where you can make grapies
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  Speaker 1: about it yet, Natasha, or not yet?
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  Speaker 8: Yes, of course.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, so every now and again... when you have a Savannah,
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  Speaker 1: you go, yeah, here's your Savannah. Remember, I wasn't your bridesmaid.
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  Speaker 1: But I'm buying you Savannah tonight. I'd be that person.
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  Speaker 8: I'll make a crap about it with other people. It
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  Speaker 8: still hurts.
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  Speaker 3: It still hurts. Thank you for that honesty, Natasha. I'm
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  Speaker 3: a little more sensitive now.
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  Speaker 1: Okay.
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  Speaker 3: And that's the point, guys, of these conversations we have.
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  Speaker 3: You always... Here's the thing about life. You always think
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  Speaker 3: you're quite steadfast in the way that you think until
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  Speaker 3: somebody else says, but what about this way? Right? And
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: so now I'm slowly understanding old Soné here. Leon, you
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: are in Germany, in Stuttgart.
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  Speaker 9: Guten Morgen, Leute, as the Germans would say. Good morning, everyone.
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: Guten Morgen.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: Wie geht es Ihnen?
• 10:48
  Speaker 9: Bin ich gut? Bin ich gut?
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: Ja, ganz gut.
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  Speaker 3: Okay, Leon, tell us, what does Germany say about this?
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  Speaker 9: Yeah, so I'm leaning more on the side of, hey guys,
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  Speaker 9: it does not need to be tit for tat. So
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  Speaker 9: I was the best man at my best friend's wedding
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  Speaker 9: and he was not the best man at my wedding.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, you were that person. Okay.
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  Speaker 6: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: I'm going to tell you the story.
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  Speaker 9: Yeah, tell us. I'm going to tell you the story
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  Speaker 9: behind it. So my best mate got married in 2021
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  Speaker 9: and because of best friends and all of that, I
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  Speaker 9: think it was natural and everyone was expecting that I'd
• 11:31
  Speaker 9: be the best man to his wedding and vice versa. However,
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  Speaker 9: what happened December 2021, we had a little bit of
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  Speaker 9: a falling out, my best friend and I. And the
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  Speaker 9: falling out was really, you know, due to me realizing
• 11:47
  Speaker 9: that all these years had sustained the friendship throughout the years.
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  Speaker 9: Being best friends since 2010. And I sustained the friendship
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  Speaker 9: and tried to keep the spark going. It was not
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  Speaker 9: really a two-way street. Fortunately, years later, we were able
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  Speaker 9: to work through that and fix that. But yeah, that
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  Speaker 9: was the premise of things. And the guy that became
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  Speaker 9: my best man is the guy that was around my
• 12:14
  Speaker 9: relationship at that time. He played an important role in
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  Speaker 9: my relationship with my wife. Just being there, sounding bored,
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  Speaker 9: someone who's encouraging. And I'm not going to make it
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  Speaker 9: seem as though that after a fallout, he had been around.
• 12:29
  Speaker 9: Even before my boyfriend and I had the conversation about, hey, dude,
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  Speaker 9: I think we're not in a good place.
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  Speaker 4: No.
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  Speaker 3: You know, a friend of mine who was closer to
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  Speaker 3: another friend of ours, but then he picked somebody else
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  Speaker 3: as the best man. And we, it was like a
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  Speaker 3: big thing. And he was just like, no, but my
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: really good friend, my best friend doesn't like my wife
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  Speaker 3: to be. Do you know what I'm saying? So what
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: I'm not going to do is stand at the altar
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  Speaker 3: and with somebody that I know, you know, doesn't completely
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: support the woman I want to spend the rest of
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  Speaker 3: my life. So yes, we're friends and all of that,
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  Speaker 3: but it can't happen. And whereas the guy he picked,
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  Speaker 3: he's like, if anything had to happen to me, I
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  Speaker 3: need to know that my best man will look out
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  Speaker 3: for my wife, right? And my kids and, you know,
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: and this one would have, it wouldn't be an automatic thing.
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: He would think about it, then do the right thing
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: as opposed to like having an immediate reaction to be like,
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: me to look out for the family type of thing.
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: And it's like, and that is the best man. You know,
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: you don't just go for friendship. You look at things
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: in the broader view. So I think when you realize that,
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  Speaker 3: and that's how people pick, you know, how people think,
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: there's thought behind who's going to take those roles. It's
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  Speaker 3: not just a friendly, friendly, bestie, bestie, tequila, tequila. You
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  Speaker 3: know what I'm saying? There is thought behind, you know,
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: what is this person currently going through in their life?
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  Speaker 3: Are they able to be there for you the way
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  Speaker 3: that you need the help? And you're needed.
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  Speaker 1: In your new life.
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: In your new life. And then you make that decision.
• 13:58
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: You know, but we're all friends. We're all friends. It's
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: just different levels at different stages.