Latest / Founder Unfiltered - What Founders Think But Never Say / Why Confidence Matters More Than Strategy with Julee Gracey

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Why Confidence Matters More Than Strategy with Julee Gracey · Founder Unfiltered - What Founders Think But Never Say

0:01
Welcome to another episode of Founder Unfiltered, What
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founders think but never say. It's our first episode with the
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new brand. I'm your host, Bradley Jacobs,
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founder and CEO of Mylance, and today I'm joined by Julie
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Gracie. Julie's a business coach,
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speaker and author of highly Confident Overcoming Self Doubt,
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Apologizing Less, and finally Living with Freedom.
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After a high profile career as an international, national model
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and television personality, Julie went on to sell millions
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in real estate which turned into a mission to help entrepreneurs
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and leaders build confidence that is grounded in self trust,
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emotional intelligence and purposeful action.
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Julie, welcome to the show. Thanks for having me, I'm so
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excited. Me too.
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And so right before this you were telling me that it's like,
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yeah, my team wrote that intro. It's the I've done a lot of cool
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shit, you know, as you think about the stuff that you've
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done. And I'm really curious about the
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pivots you've made from model and television personality to
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real estate to your current mission.
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What's been the driving force behind those pivots to get you
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to where you are today? Yeah, that's a good question.
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You haven't asked that before. And you know, I don't, I don't
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always know. It's, it's when you look
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backwards that you see the reasons why, right?
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But sometimes when you're moving forward towards something like,
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oh, I want this new challenge. And maybe you don't have a clear
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picture of why you want to do that, but I just always wanted
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to challenge myself to do more, to be more like, what else do I
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not know? What else could I do?
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And we think about, especially as entrepreneurs, the
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possibilities, right? We, we, we think differently.
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If this, if you're listening to this podcast, we think
1:45
differently. Trust me, I am married, I'm
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happily married for 23 years to an amazing man and he is
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corporate CEO America. He thinks differently than I do,
1:57
especially when it comes to business.
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And we definitely need both. But for our entrepreneurs, it's
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always that, that, that risk, that challenge of what if I did
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this? What if I did?
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And I think along my journey there was just opportunities
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that were presented and I've learned to kind of just grab a
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hold of the opportunity and not necessarily know where it leads.
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But boy, it's going to be a wild ride either way.
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When I hear, maybe the audience hears, and you made millions in
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real estate, most people be like, OK, like, that's great.
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Why would you ever leave that? So I'm guessing there was
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something. You're right, you're right.
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But that one, there is a clear reason.
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So I became a mother. That's why.
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And So what we teach a lot is what are you willing to give up
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to go after your dreams? One of the things that is
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foundational and what I teach is what are you not willing to give
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up? Because too often, especially as
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entrepreneurs, founders, we are 80 hours a week, up at night, up
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early, sacrificing sleep, health, relationships.
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And in the beginning, we we do that because we're trying to
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build this into something that gets some momentum.
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But there comes a point of where you're giving up too much.
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And for me, yes, I was very successful in real estate, but I
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have a husband who travels during the week and I have
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children who, you know, started to be very aware as they got
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older that either their mother was present or their mother was
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not. And so I had to really stop and
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say, is it, is it worth it? Am I willing to give up those
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weekends with my children, with my husband?
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And I wasn't, I wasn't willing to do it.
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And so I worked really hard and made a lot of money.
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We made some great investments, but I realized they didn't have
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to. I didn't feel that pressure of,
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yes, I can step back from that and be present with my family
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because I assure you, as my youngest child is going to be
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headed off to college next year and guess I'll have all the time
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in the world to make more money. And so Bradley, I think for some
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people it's just challenging of what's what should I give up and
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why at what time? And that was something for me, I
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wasn't willing to give up. Now, how can I use all of that
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success that I had? Well, I use that for my own real
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estate investments, which I'm really good at.
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I use that to coach other people who want to grow their real
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estate businesses. I'm really good at that as well.
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So I still get to take all the lessons that I've learned with
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that and use it in a way that now works better for my schedule
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in my family. I might be projecting here, but
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I'm also curious. Yeah, I'm hearing the lifestyle
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answer and the trade-offs and wanting to be present with your
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family and real estate really didn't afford that.
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My guess is, and maybe correct me if this is wrong, was there
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something also around like the money is great but there's I'm
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looking for something more in how I deliver value in what I
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have to give in supporting other people.
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Like almost like a service or purpose based reason for the
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shifts. Like, did that come up at all?
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It did. It did in the sense that I was
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finding success very fast than what I was doing.
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And I was having other agents come to me to say, Julie, teach
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me your ways. What are you doing?
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You just got here, you know no one and you have, you know,
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$1,000,000 real estate deals immediately.
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Like who do you know? I'm like, I know everyone I you
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know, and I would teach them and I love teaching.
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I loved showing them because I truly believe everyone has deep
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talents and skills to offer. They just, they need a mentor to
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show them the way. And I realized I really love
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mentoring other people. I was lucky enough to grow up
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with amazing people that surrounded me and spoke a life
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into me and built my confidence from a very young age.
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And I realized, Oh, you guys don't have that.
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You are not moving forward because you're doubting yourself
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and you don't know if you're worth it.
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I'm like, oh, well, I don't have that problem.
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I, I just, I jump in with both feet and we'll figure it out
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later. And so I realized that that was
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a skill that I could teach other agents.
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So I love that being able to serve them in that way and then
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build other people up so they could go and work the weekends
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and build their real estate company.
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And so it was I, that's where I really started getting into
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mentoring other people and it LED into my Business Today.
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So what I'm hearing you say is you really, you recognize that
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you had this somewhat superpower of like you didn't really have
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the self doubt that you were seeing a lot of other agents
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that helped you be successful and realize that you could
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support them in growing their confidence that would also help
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them be more successful. You have something to teach.
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Yeah, and it fit the what am I willing to give up?
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What am I not willing to give up?
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Because I wasn't willing to give up all that time on the weekends
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with clients. Because I assure you, everyone's
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like, Oh well, you didn't have to work weekends as a realtor.
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Anyone that is a real estate agent, yes, you do.
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You know this. And so it allowed me to still be
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a part of that business and still grow and give back in a
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way that it worked better for myself and my family.
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So it was a good transition. I want to go back in time a
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little bit and you were on TV, you were modeling, right?
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And when I not from personal experience, but when I hear
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about it, modeling can be so challenging from a internal
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world of like how you're being perceived.
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It's all about how you look and how you present yourself, right?
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And that can come with a lot of internal challenges and self
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doubt. And so I'm really curious to
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hear from your point of view given you, should you really
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have this confidence because you were brought up in that way, was
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that challenging as a model? Was it not like what was your
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experience there? Oh, yeah.
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I mean, you have to develop a thick skin if you're not certain
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about who you are as a person and you have boundaries on what
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you're willing to say no to. Yeah, it, it'll, it'll chew you
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up and spit you out really quick.
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It's, it's not for the fainted heart.
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And I watched this happen to many girls, especially, and, you
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know, see them make choices that were not good because they just
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didn't have good boundaries on on their values.
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And that was an area I definitely had no problem saying
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no. And I credit that to having
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really great parents that taught me really great morals and
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values. This is the line.
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This is the Gray area. This is the black, this is the
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white. But you don't cross this line
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and and there you go. And be willing to live with the
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consequence of that. And so with modeling, it was a
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mental game. You are a product on a shelf.
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When you go into these castings, you go into auditions.
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I assure you, in California, in LA, there are thousands of Julie
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Gracie's 59, blonde hair, blue eyed.
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At the time I was at size 0, you know, and you walk into these
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castings. So how are you different?
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You have to make yourself the best version of you.
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But your product on the shelf. So you think if you walk into
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Acvs and you walk down the aisle and you're getting some, I don't
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know, some face wash, there's tons of products and someone's
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going to walk by and they're going to choose 1 based on what
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they see that they want. Doesn't mean that it makes you
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any less, right? Then the next audition you go in
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and then they're going to choose you instead of the next product.
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That's it. It's all on the outside.
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I would find that people would place their whole value, their
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identity, their worthiness on just the outside, right?
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And so I was very blessed that I knew that actually my worthiness
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was from the inside, not the outside.
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This was something that, you know, I believe God gives us
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lots of gifts and this is one, OK, how do I use this to better
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my life and better other people's lives?
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And so that's how I always views it.
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Not like, look at me, I'm so beautiful.
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It was how can I use this? Ultimately, Bradley, I just
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wanted to travel. So I would look at magazines.
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I'd be like, Oh, well, these, these girls model.
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If I could model, that means I could travel.
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And I did. And I went overseas, walked
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runways in Milan, lived in Lai, just had such an amazing
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experience. But I was chasing the
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experience, not the notoriety. So it's such a easy thing to
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say. Maybe in practice, I mean, it
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can be really challenging And and yes, I think a lot does
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depend on your childhood and how your parents spoke to you,
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treated you, allowed yourself to be you, all that kind of stuff.
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But when we really boil it down and we go a layer deeper to say,
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OK, if you get feedback in a casting shoot that you're not
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the, you know, item on the shelf that they pick, right?
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And it's not about you, right? And you don't make it about you.
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How in practice do you actually, whether you do it yourself, Like
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I'd love to hear your personal answer and how you suggested for
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your clients. It's one thing to know that it's
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like, OK, this isn't personal. OK, no worries.
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I get it. But it can still sting, can
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still be really painful and still like how do you actually
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do that? And then how do you suggest for
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your clients? Yeah, absolutely.
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It can sting, but that's it. I almost see it's like it can
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hit you on the outside, but don't let it sink to the inside.
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So while I help my clients build their resilience in this area
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because it does take practice, it doesn't like, OK, it's never
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going to get to me. Yeah, it does.
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It absolutely does. And so with my clients, as
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they're going out and they're trying to make sales and they're
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doing pitches and they're getting turned down or they're
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making a call and someone's nasty them on the phone.
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Part of what I do is like, you don't hold on to that.
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You give it to me. I will eat that stuff for
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breakfast, like so. And that's how I can get them
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like almost like hold their hand a little bit in a sense while
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they're out there doing something.
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Oh man, that person was really angry and they yelled at me and
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they hung up on me. That's going to sit in them.
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They're going to take that energy into that next call, into
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that next meeting. So they know you send that to
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me. You, you get on a call, you text
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that to me. Somebody was nasty with me.
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I'm in, I'm in a funk. I'll jump wherever I am on a
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call and be like, give it to me right now.
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What happened? And I it's like I'm an
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aggressive cheerleader. You know what I mean?
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It's like I've been described that way multiple times of no,
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no, no, no, you take that off you.
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I'm so proud of you. You went out there and you
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pushed to get something. If you wouldn't get that nasty
12:14
reply if you weren't out there pushing forward in your
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business. That's just part of it.
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And we talked earlier before we jumped on here about the things
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that founders go through of like the you, you get punched in the
12:25
face multiple times a day. Welcome to be an entrepreneur.
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If you don't want to experience that, go back to corporate, go
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back to that. And so that's part of how I
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helped build that resilience with my clients of like, oh,
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wow, this didn't go well, but I didn't die and I'm going to go
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do it again and kind of build that up in them.
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But personally it, it does. It can get to you sometimes, but
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you've got to stop and be like, OK, well, that sucked.
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All right, now what? And I say, I give myself, I give
12:55
myself A2 minute pity party. I get 2 minutes, all the things
13:00
and let it all out. Poor me.
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I don't deserve this, you know? Oh, that was terrible.
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I feel so bad. All right.
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And then you just kind of look around and be like, well, are we
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done? Did we get all that out?
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Yep. Yep.
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OK. And then what can I do?
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And maybe it's that I need to take a break and, I don't know,
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go eat some ice cream. I mean, that's probably not the
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best analogy, but I'm like, I need food.
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Food always makes me happy. And you just, you just move on.
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That's part of sales, that's part of entrepreneurship.
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So you have to get used to to the rejection, to the harsh
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words. It's welcome to the club.
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Yeah, yeah. And I also tell people it's
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often it's not about you, right? If someone, especially if
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someone's really rude to you on the phone, that's about them and
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what's going on in their life. You probably don't know what's
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going on in their life, but for all you know they're going
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through divorce or their dog just died or whatever.
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They had a bad traffic this morning so they're taking it out
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on you, but it really nothing to do with you.
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Absolutely. And so once you Start learning
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that when someone comes at you with that negative energy, it
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almost makes you pause and say, hey, how are you doing?
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Yeah, you OK? What's?
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What's going on with you? Yeah.
14:09
Listen, I hear the words that you're saying, but I just
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forgive me if this is too personal, but is everything OK
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with you? I mean that sincerely, you know,
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because I've, I've worked with you before and I just, I feel
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like, is there something I can do for you, right?
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When you have that true sense of empathy, it's not about me, you
14:28
know? And I almost like if you're
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angry, I almost am glad that give it to me because I can take
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it. Don't take that home to your
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child. Don't take that home to your
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spouse. I can take a lot.
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So why don't you give all that to me?
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And that's what I love allowing my clients to do because they'll
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get on there, they're financially stressed, they're,
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you know, their relationships are stressed.
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They're, they've got so much going on and they get on and
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they'll just like let it all out.
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And I'm telling you, probably about 97% of my clients have
14:58
cried on coaching calls with me. And they would never open
15:02
themselves up like that to anyone else.
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But I'm I'm honored that I can hold that space for them because
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nowhere else in their life do they get to break down a little
15:13
bit. Yeah, yeah, just.
15:15
Right, we've got it. We we are the leader.
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We are the leader. We got to be strong for our
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team, for our family. But where do you get to let that
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guard down and just be like, like, I'm struggling like this
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is rough. You know, I'll be like, let me
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have it. OK.
15:30
Did you get it all out? OK, All right, now let's let's
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make a plan. What are we going to do about?
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It right? Right.
15:36
And so I love holding that space for people.
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And I loved your two-minute recommendation and you kind of
15:42
like threw it off the cuff. But it's a, it's a real strategy
15:45
because we often don't let ourselves have that time to feel
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like it's allowed to hurt. It's allowed to be painful, it's
15:53
allowed to be uncomfortable. And I think often we just kind
15:55
of keep going or we distract. I'm gonna jump to my phone.
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I'm gonna, you know, whatever. And it's like, no, even 2
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minutes of allowing yourself to feel all of the negative things
16:05
that you just said of like, oh, I feel like a piece of shit
16:07
right now and allow, OK, like, let's go, let's go, let's go,
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let's go. And that can be, that's the
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tool. I mean, it really is.
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It sounds so simple, but I think most people don't allow that.
16:18
Yeah, and luckily I have the most amazing husband who who
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understands that he understands like unless I specifically ask
16:26
you for advice, please just nod and listen and say I'm here for
16:30
you. 23 years of bliss. That's a great right there is
16:34
probably one of the best tips is sometimes he'll work from home
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and I'll go down to his office and I'm like one of those
16:39
moments. I'll be like, I just need a
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minute and I'll just like let it out.
16:43
And then this happened and this and I'm so angry and I'm so
16:46
frustrated and like it's always the joke.
16:48
I'm like, I'm just going to I'm going to cut off my hair.
16:50
I'm going to drive a minivan and just quit.
16:52
And I'm just make sourdough bread and grow cucumbers in the
16:55
backyard. I'm done, I'm done.
16:56
I just quit. I'm done, right?
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And then he'll just be like, come here and I just sit on his
17:01
lap and he'll hug me for a minute and I'll be like, OK,
17:04
thanks, I got to go. And then that's it.
17:06
And I come right back up to my office and I get right back to
17:08
it. And it's just, you know, you can
17:10
put some humor behind it, but it's just allow yourself that
17:12
moment because I don't know any entrepreneur that doesn't have
17:16
those moments. But the the trick is Bradley, is
17:19
don't take that negative energy into the next call.
17:23
Don't take that negative energy into the next task.
17:26
That's why I said sometimes it's like, you know, get up and go, I
17:29
don't know, go touch grass, go walk around the yard and curse
17:33
and like, just get that out, reassess, right?
17:37
But again, the worst thing you can do is, is continue to push
17:40
that forward into your day. And then that's why you have
17:42
those really crappy days, because you never gave yourself
17:46
the moment to be human and and get those emotions out.
17:51
And for the people listening that don't have the situation
17:53
you have where you basically like taught your husband, all
17:56
right, this is what I need from you, right?
17:58
You can find that in other people in your life.
18:00
You can find it from friends, coaches, right?
18:03
Like probably not your employees or, you know, people like that,
18:05
but like find the people in your life where like and tell them
18:08
set them up for success. Like I just need a listener,
18:11
right? I need you to just literally
18:13
listen to me. I don't need you to actually say
18:15
anything. Or maybe like that must be hard.
18:17
I don't know, Like I, I need very, very, very little because
18:20
the people that go into problem solving for you, they think
18:23
that's what you need, but you don't.
18:26
I'm like, please don't give me advice, suggestions, problem
18:28
solve, please. Like I just literally need to
18:30
live then for two minutes and like tell me it's going to be
18:33
OK. Yeah, and that comes from, and
18:35
I'll tell you right now, that is just really intelligent
18:39
communication. And so I'll tell you, before I
18:41
got married, I went to a marriage counselor and said,
18:44
tell me what I don't know. Because I I, I win at what I do.
18:49
I win and I'm getting married and I win.
18:52
So tell me what I don't know. So I have the tools.
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And that was one of the tools actually, that I learned.
18:58
And it works. It works in business too.
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So to go with him and say, look, she just needs you to listen.
19:03
You're a lot of guys, you're a fixer.
19:05
Oh, she's coming to me. Let me come and save the day.
19:09
Even though in your mind, if you think, well, this is super easy,
19:12
just do XYZ, you're going to have the opposite response that
19:16
you think that you're going to get.
19:17
And so you know, and remembering from myself is if I actually
19:21
want help, use the words to say I'm struggling with this.
19:25
I would love your suggestion. I would love your feedback.
19:28
But unless I say that he, you know, he knows like and not
19:32
just, you know, fake, but I understand.
19:35
Is there anything I can do to help you?
19:38
That alone right there. I'm telling you, I mean, one
19:41
marriage, 23 years, pretty happy.
19:43
But it it works for that in business too, with your staff,
19:46
with your team, They're coming to you with problems.
19:49
Sometimes it's challenging because you're like, dude, just
19:51
go do this, Go execute this stopping and being human for a
19:56
moment. I'm the one that has to because
19:58
I am. I like to execute.
20:00
Remembering the human side of being like, OK, what are your
20:04
solutions that you've come up with for that?
20:06
That's one of the big things is don't come to me with just
20:08
problems. What are some solutions or
20:11
options that you've thought of or you've tried and then OK, do
20:14
you need my help on this or are you in a moment of frustration?
20:17
Yeah. Right, that just that
20:20
communication alone does wonders.
20:23
Yeah. And I think we can apply it to
20:24
customers as well, right? If you're talking to a customer
20:27
and they're not happy with something or frustrated,
20:30
whatever it is, I don't go straight into problem solving
20:33
bug. I'm always listener first,
20:35
curious first, what's really going on, What's underneath
20:38
this? Like, it's an opportunity as me
20:39
as a founder to learn like what's working and what's not
20:42
working in my product. And they also might be pissed
20:45
about something else in their life that, again, has nothing to
20:47
do with me. Like, it could be my product,
20:49
but maybe it's not. So by being curious and just
20:52
holding space for that person, like what's really going on
20:54
here, sometimes I get a like, oh, good question.
20:57
Like I'm actually really upset from earlier and this isn't, you
21:00
know, has nothing to do with you.
21:01
I'm like oh OK, glad I asked because otherwise I'm like
21:04
solving problems that aren't there.
21:06
Yeah, and a lot of times they're just complaints.
21:09
They're just complaints. They're not the real objection,
21:11
right, That you go into sales and same with customer service
21:14
of they're getting on. This is troubling.
21:16
And you're like, tell me more, I hear you, Tell me more.
21:20
What else you know you're digging down.
21:23
I hear this, I hear what you're saying here, but there's got to
21:26
be something else. What is it, right?
21:28
And like getting down to the actual real objection and you'll
21:32
find that what they first said was the problem is very
21:36
different from the thing that they said at the very end when
21:38
you start asking really good questions and like you said,
21:40
holding that space, letting them let it out.
21:43
And you're right, they probably are just angry about a lot of
21:46
other things and you just happen to catch all of it.
21:49
So I want to I could talk about this like one-on-one
21:51
relationship piece forever. I love it.
21:54
But I want to get back to also as a founder and really, you
21:59
know, you talk, you've talked about emotional intelligence is
22:01
really the most important and overlooked assets and
22:04
leadership. And first of all, I want to even
22:06
define it right. We kind of throw around
22:08
emotional intelligence all the time.
22:10
In your eyes, what does it really mean and why is it the
22:15
most important asset in leadership today?
22:18
Being aware. Aware of your own emotions and
22:21
how you affect other people and being aware that you don't have
22:26
to absorb all the emotions in the room.
22:28
So especially for coaching, I get on with people that are
22:31
stressed. They are angry, they're upset,
22:33
they have challenges with their relationships and their
22:35
businesses. They just lost $100,000 and
22:39
they're getting on like they're in a bad space now.
22:42
If I have a sympathy, I'm going to come get down in that mud
22:46
with you. You, you're deep right now.
22:48
I'm going to come get down in there with you.
22:50
That is not what they need. I will have empathy that you are
22:54
struggling here, but I'm not going to get down in there with
22:56
you. I'm going to stand here on the
22:58
side and I'm going to listen to you and I'm going to help you
23:00
find a path out of that right? And understanding that not
23:05
everybody has the life that you have.
23:07
They don't look at things through your lens.
23:11
I see things because of how I was raised and, and, and things
23:14
that I was taught. This is how I see the world that
23:19
that emotional intelligence, that that is not the case for
23:21
everyone. And how can I, like we said
23:23
before, hold space for other people's view of the same thing,
23:29
right, not make them wrong And and I'm right.
23:32
But also we talk about being coachable, open, you know, open
23:35
mindedness of that I can learn from other people too, even if
23:39
I'm their leader, even if I am the boss, they also know things
23:43
that I could probably learn. And so for me, having that
23:46
emotional intelligence of not always being reactive to the
23:50
emotions around you being that I say, be that calm in the storm.
23:55
And that takes practice. And sometimes we get, we get
23:59
angry, we get upset ourselves. Is then what is your, what is
24:02
your system to bring yourself back down?
24:05
Is it is it breathing exercise? Is it going out and taking a
24:08
walk and moving your body? Is it stepping aside, whatever
24:10
it is, remembering to put that practice in place.
24:14
And the more that you do it, the more it becomes very natural to
24:17
where I don't have to get up and go have a 2 minute pity party
24:21
very often anymore. It's more of like about 15
24:24
seconds, a few deep breaths, little stretch, OK, maybe I just
24:29
need to focus on a task that is joyful right now and then come
24:32
back to the challenging task, you know?
24:35
So for the founder, that's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
24:38
This all sounds a little fluffy, right?
24:40
Like I'm tuning into emotions in the room and I'm not taking it
24:43
on. All I care about is growth and
24:46
profitability and building the right product, right?
24:48
It's very, especially a lot of male founders, right?
24:51
We think very linearly structured, like, hey, I need
24:55
more customers and to keep the ones I have, like that's what I
24:59
need, right? And you're talking about all
25:01
this emotional shit, like why is that important?
25:04
Like why is it so freaking important?
25:05
How does it tie the end of the day to business growth and
25:09
performance? Yeah.
25:11
So your business, who you're trying to sell to, you're
25:13
selling this product that you think has no emotion.
25:16
You're selling that product to another human.
25:18
I don't care what product you sell, what service you sell.
25:21
On the other side of that is another human.
25:25
So while you can look logically and trust me, I was trained by
25:29
Grant Cardone for three years. I was one of his elite right
25:32
hands in sales. So when you talk about no
25:35
emotion, all logic, high stakes, high pressure, I know all about
25:40
it. I love coaching my guys.
25:42
But here's the thing, on the other side of that is a human.
25:46
So if you don't pay attention to that, that maybe is part of the
25:49
reason you don't have the sales because you have to have that
25:52
connection. Remember, we sell with emotion.
25:55
We close with logic. You're trying to go for the
25:58
close, which is great, male dominant, closing, closing,
26:03
closing. You're forgetting the key part
26:05
of the sale, which is emotion. It is tied to emotion.
26:09
So it is in there, as much as I teach, like setting emotions
26:12
aside and executing it is a part of the sales process.
26:17
So it's it's something you have to recognize.
26:21
And I'm like that. I just, I want to get to the
26:22
close. What do you need?
26:23
Let's get it done. I am very much that energy.
26:26
I myself had to stop, ask those really great questions, dive
26:31
into the emotion of what they're needing so that I can get to the
26:35
part that I really like, which is the close in the sale.
26:37
It's bringing me to one of my favorite books.
26:40
Business Books is Never Split the Difference by Chris Boss.
26:43
He's amazing. It's so good and he basically
26:46
talks about if someone feels heard, they'll do anything you
26:50
want. I do everything I can to make
26:52
sure that my potential customer feels heard in their experience,
26:56
in their problems, in their frustrations.
26:58
My experience is when they feel heard by me, they're in like
27:02
they'll buy. That's the difference.
27:05
Yeah. And I think that where some
27:07
people struggle is, OK, I'm going to listen.
27:10
And I'm listening to this person talk for half an hour about all
27:13
their problems. Like, no, you're not their
27:15
therapist. That's why you need to have a
27:17
sales script and a process. Where am I in this process of
27:21
sales? OK.
27:23
And then how do I like, OK, they're going on and on.
27:26
How do I ask a specific question to get them back into my sales
27:29
process? So I'm still listening, but I'm
27:32
also controlling the sale. So a lot of times we talk about
27:36
our guys are like, oh, I've got to listen.
27:37
Yes, you have to listen. But we have certain things to
27:40
pull them back into your sale to get that process going the way
27:44
you want it. You can direct them.
27:46
I know you have a bunch of different principles in your
27:48
book. Highly confident if you could
27:50
pick one, the most important principle that I could apply
27:55
that every founder listening could apply to their business
27:58
for both their inner foundation foundation and outer results.
28:01
What would it be? Really great question, Bradley.
28:06
Just say no. See behind me if you can.
28:09
If you're, if you're looking at the video, there's a big sign
28:11
behind me. It literally says no.
28:13
Yeah. The reason I have that behind me
28:15
is because when I'm coaching clients and they're they're
28:18
asking me something, I'm like, what do you think my answer is
28:19
going to be? It's a reminder boundaries,
28:24
setting boundaries, saying no. And a lot of it is setting
28:28
boundaries on yourself. You know, we think of setting
28:30
boundaries that the people are time, but it's really you,
28:33
you're, you're, you're distracted, you're doing things
28:36
you don't need to do. Bigger clients that I've worked
28:38
with immediately, the first thing I have them do is a time
28:41
audit. And you know, they might moan
28:43
about it a little bit. I'm like, it's not an option if
28:45
you want to work with me, you're doing a time audit because we're
28:47
going to go find out where you're spending your time every
28:49
15 minutes. And the more honest you are
28:52
about that, the better the results.
28:56
I mean, I have my contractor that was down in Florida.
28:58
He's like, I'm, I'm doing so much contract work, it's hard to
29:02
build my business. Well, we found 97 hours in one
29:06
month he didn't need to be doing.
29:10
So do you think that he could probably use those 97 hours to
29:13
help grow his business? I have another amazing guy.
29:16
She's out of Kansas. She has a medical staffing
29:19
company made her do it and so very hard for her to do.
29:23
She's like, I don't have time to do this.
29:25
I'm too busy. I'm like, that's the exact
29:26
reason you have to do this. We found 47 hours in one week.
29:30
She was just doing scheduling and billing.
29:34
Immediately hired somebody to fill that role.
29:36
Now she has those hours back. So that mindfulness if you're
29:39
just, I'm working so hard, but I'm not getting enough done.
29:43
This is something you can do on your own.
29:44
Do a time on it for one week, not a week when you're
29:46
traveling, but just one week where every 15 minutes set up to
29:51
sundown, write down what you do. And maybe it's that I, I don't
29:55
know. I went on the news and just
29:57
scrolled for an hour. I had to literally write down
30:00
that I watched squirrels out of my window one time and I was so
30:03
embarrassed that every time I walked past that window, I
30:06
purposely never, I don't look at it anymore because I was just
30:09
like, Oh my God, I literally have to write down squirrels on
30:12
this. But it makes you so aware that
30:15
it just eats up your day. It eats it up 15 minutes here,
30:18
10 minutes here, 20 minutes here.
30:20
And when you are a founder and you're trying to grow your
30:22
business, you don't have time for that.
30:26
It's an exercise I I should do. I know I should.
30:29
I'm going to challenge you to do it, Bradley.
30:31
I know Julie, I'll do it. I'll do it.
30:32
There's others. I know there's going to be
30:34
things I write down with so much cringe of like, I can't believe
30:37
I'm, you know, because I'm not perfect, right?
30:39
I'll scroll Twitter, I'll scroll Instagram also and and I have
30:42
all these things on my phone that remind me, oh, like you've
30:44
been scrolling for three minutes.
30:45
If you could stop right now. That's just part of it and it's
30:48
good. It's just information, right?
30:50
Yeah. And that's, and that's what I'm
30:51
going to say is I always tell people this isn't about shaming
30:55
you, this isn't about embarrassing you.
30:57
It's about awareness, which awareness is the first step to
31:00
anything that we want to do emotional intelligence
31:03
awareness. And so it's awareness of your
31:05
time. And I, I do this, I teach this,
31:09
but when I get off track, like I won't, I didn't work out at all
31:13
last week. OK, something crept in.
31:17
Guess what I get to do? I forced myself to do a time on
31:20
it because things, it's not like we got something off of our, our
31:24
schedule and now I just have this block of time where I don't
31:27
have anything to do. That never happens.
31:31
It will you have like all these other things that are going to
31:34
fill it up really fast. So you have to be really mindful
31:38
of what you say yes to. And I love to say yes, yes, I
31:41
can do that. Yes, I can take that call and
31:43
then I get overwhelmed and then I'm not getting anything done.
31:46
So that would be the number one thing I would say is just say
31:50
no. Learn to manage your time, what
31:52
are you doing with your time? And say no to anything that
31:56
doesn't support your health, wealth, relationships, or your
31:58
joy. And the 15 minutes, I mean, are
32:00
you, are you really setting a timer like on your phone every
32:03
15 minutes and then at the end of that writing down what you
32:06
did for the last 15 minutes, Is that basically what you're
32:08
doing? You can do it that way and you
32:10
the clock on your phone every 15 minutes.
32:12
Absolutely. And that's where then you don't
32:13
have to think about it like, oh, did I write that down?
32:15
Right. And it's just like, it went off,
32:17
great. Write it down, went off.
32:19
Now it's challenging because you do that for a week, you're
32:22
constantly interrupting your day.
32:24
I think I did the 15 minutes a few days and then I got into the
32:27
habit where I could just, OK, I know what I did the last hour.
32:30
But ultimately the whole goal is then you go back into that after
32:33
we can reflect where was I? We say in business, 80% of your
32:38
time should be prospecting and going after new sales.
32:42
So in the hours that you're working, 80% of that time should
32:46
be going after new business. And then you wonder why you
32:51
don't make sales Because I'll guarantee everyone listening.
32:54
If you did that exercise, I can almost guarantee it.
32:56
And if you did, congratulations, high five, you don't even need
32:59
me, but you'll have people on that.
33:01
They're like, oh, it was only like 5% of my time.
33:04
And then you're like, no wonder I don't have any sales.
33:07
No wonder I'm not growing. OK, so how do we switch that?
33:11
How do we get that up to 20%, then 30%?
33:15
And you know, they're like 80% of the time I have to deliver
33:18
what I sell. I understand.
33:21
So maybe that's in your business, you need to hire
33:23
someone in sales. Now they're going after sales
33:27
while you're delivering, right? We we start that process and
33:31
it's just, it's a beautiful process to walk through.
33:33
And because so many of us here we are, we're founders, we, we
33:37
don't want to go to corporate America.
33:39
We want to carve our own path. So having a mentor that helps
33:43
you, guides you so that you can be in your business, having
33:46
someone outside of your business that can see from a, a, a, a
33:50
bird's eye view of, hey, you're going down the wrong path.
33:53
Turn left here, turn right here. It's invaluable.
33:55
I haven't done anything in my life worth anything without a
33:59
mentor. Every success that I've had has
34:02
had a mentor. I'm so glad you shared that
34:03
because it I think it's we forget that.
34:06
We forget that every professional like if you just
34:08
look at athletes for a second, everyone has a coach and they
34:12
actually have multiple coaches, right?
34:14
When you really mindset performance and nutrition and
34:17
physical whatever, but they all have a coach.
34:20
Tiger Woods, best golfer in the world ever.
34:23
He had a coach and his coach didn't win the mastered 6 times
34:26
to teach Tiger how to win the master 6 times, right?
34:30
So it's not like people are like, oh, how can you coach that
34:32
if you've never done it? It's like that's just not how it
34:34
works. But every athlete, every
34:37
professional has a coach. Everyone.
34:39
Absolutely, Absolutely. Do you think that, you know,
34:41
look at Tom Brady, there's a joke about, you know, the most
34:45
useless job in the world was to be Tom Brady's coach.
34:48
And I was like, Can you imagine trying to beat Tom Brady's
34:50
quarterback coach? I'm like, no, I guarantee you
34:53
Tom Brady very much needs his coach.
34:55
In fact, I have one of the his early coach's books and it's
34:58
fantastic. That's what he's wanted.
35:00
Who do you look up to? Who was their coach?
35:04
Those are the books I want to buy.
35:05
We like to buy, you know, the the book from the athlete, which
35:08
is great, but I want to buy the book of their coach because that
35:14
is where the lessons really come from.
35:16
So I tend to do, I find that I go find who is Tom Brady's
35:19
coach. I'm going to go read his book
35:21
because behind every single one of them are, like you said,
35:26
multiple coaches. So then you want to go build a
35:28
brand new business. You want to be a founder, and
35:31
I'm just going to wing it and do it alone.
35:33
Yeah, that's just an ignorant way to approach it.
35:37
Don't make it harder on yourself.
35:38
Right, It's an ego, right? I can do it, I can do it on
35:42
myself. And it's like, Nope, even if you
35:44
could, it would be so much harder and you'll make so many
35:46
more mistakes. And if you just had someone like
35:49
no one is probably doing something for the first time at
35:51
this point. Like it's it's been done in some
35:53
way shape or form. Just learn from what's worked
35:56
and what hasn't worked right? We don't need to make it.
35:58
I know I'm guilty of this making it harder myself that it needs
36:01
to be for. Sure, that's right.
36:02
We need to, we need to drink our own Kool-aid, right?
36:05
100% around the sales fees, 80% Like I love that as the North
36:10
Star. Like there's no way I do that.
36:12
So I'd love to audit my own, but so many founders really struggle
36:16
with visibility with self promotion, right?
36:19
So it's probably one of the reasons it's not 80%.
36:22
It's like, that is scary, my business needs it and it's
36:25
scary. But from your experience working
36:27
with founders, what's really holding people back from showing
36:30
up confidently? And then how do you help them
36:32
breakthrough that? You hit the nail on the head,
36:34
Bradley. It's that I am so good at this.
36:37
I've worked hard. I, I'm, I've specialized, I've
36:40
trained, I have results. I hope that people see it.
36:45
We've been trained when we're young.
36:46
Guess what? When you went to school, were
36:48
you praised for standing up and being loud?
36:51
No, you were told to sit down and ask permission.
36:55
Otherwise it's rude. You were told that talking about
36:58
yourself was bragging, right? You're bragging about yourself
37:02
when you've been raised that way.
37:04
Then you want to go and be an entrepreneur and and have your
37:07
own business. It's the complete opposite of
37:10
everything that you have been taught.
37:14
So it really is a mental thing. And some people can't get past
37:19
that. That's why we're like, we're
37:20
going to hire someone else to speak for you.
37:23
A great example is the intro you just read.
37:26
My PR team out of New York wrote that.
37:28
I did not write that because I'd be like, you know, I've done,
37:31
I've done a lot of fun shit. That's how I would describe
37:35
myself because even myself, Oh, oh, hey, yes, I've sold millions
37:39
of real estate. I used to walk runways in Milan.
37:42
I was People Magazines 100 most beautiful.
37:45
Like, it's so counterintuitive to be like, listen to me talk
37:48
about myself. But in business, you have to do
37:51
that. You have to put yourself out
37:53
there. Here's the thing.
37:54
If you have a product or a service that truly can serve
37:57
other people, then it's your job to go find them.
38:01
It's not their job to come find you, right?
38:04
And I know that we all have products and services that are
38:08
better than the competition, but the competition still sells
38:12
their product. And those people suffer because
38:15
they didn't know you existed. So that's where you have to
38:18
think. You're so concerned about
38:20
yourself. Oh, I don't like how my voice
38:23
sounds. I don't like being on camera or
38:25
talking about myself. OK, well, isn't that really
38:29
selfish? You know, it's again, it's
38:32
mindset. Isn't that really selfish that
38:34
you have something that would serve someone else, but you're
38:37
so worried about yourself that you won't go and give them the
38:40
service, You won't go make yourself known.
38:43
That's how it works. And if that's still a challenge
38:46
for you, then get a team, get a PR team, get a marketing team
38:50
that is outside of you that can put all those things together
38:55
and put them out and kind of go brag on you without you.
38:59
I mean, I have a team that does it for me sometimes.
39:01
And I read it and I'm like, oh, wow, I sound, I sound pretty bad
39:04
ass. OK, cool.
39:05
You know, But for me to go and and say that, yeah, look at me,
39:08
I've done these things. It can feel odd.
39:10
But ultimately, if you don't go and sell whatever your product
39:14
and service is, you don't have a business, you have a hobby.
39:16
Love so much I took was like taking some notes as you were
39:19
talking. I was like, love so much of what
39:21
you shared. So I want to circle back our
39:23
last quick thread before we run out of time.
39:25
It's been kind of eating at me and it keeps coming back.
39:27
So I'm going to just bring it to the to the surface.
39:29
So you talked about building resilience in whether it's
39:34
getting rejected or someone yells at you or just as mad at
39:37
you or whatever it is as a founder.
39:38
And you said that you are then kind of that outlet for your
39:41
clients, right? You're like, hey, OK, I can
39:43
handle it. Like come tell me what happened.
39:45
And I'll kind of give you, you know, a reframe for it or even
39:48
just a you can say it and then all right, get back on the
39:50
field. Like you're good now.
39:52
And it's so important for it to come from within.
39:55
And so I'm hearing you and I'm curious about the distinction
39:58
here. And your answer of like, all
39:59
right, I'm the client's upset at me.
40:01
I take it on. I go tell Julie.
40:03
Julie listens and tells me it's OK.
40:07
How am I building resilience from within if I'm then just
40:10
getting it like the affirmation or something from you, Like how
40:13
do you think about that? Yeah, I think if it is like
40:16
working out, when the first time you work out, you're going to,
40:19
you know, lift some fifteens, right?
40:21
You're going to curl some fifteens.
40:22
They're going to feel pretty heavy.
40:24
You have to continue to go back to it and build your strength in
40:27
that area. That's what I helped them do.
40:29
Eventually they won't need me to hold their hand, but I am that
40:33
resource for them when stuff hits the fan because it does.
40:37
And if they don't have anyone else in their life that they
40:41
could turn to, I'm there for them for that.
40:44
Now, there's a difference between coming to me and
40:46
complaining that this is hard. Absolutely not.
40:49
Nope, They know better than that.
40:52
But they just went out and they tried something.
40:54
They did the thing, then they come to me and then I can say,
40:57
OK, what are we going to do about it?
40:59
And then we make a plan. And sometimes it's helping them
41:04
reframe what happened. Sometimes it's listening and
41:07
saying like, you know what, Yep, that sucks.
41:10
But then getting them focused on why are you doing this?
41:13
OK, knowing that as you go down this path, this is going to
41:17
happen again. This exact scenario is going to
41:20
happen again. So did you die?
41:23
Nope. What are we going to do?
41:26
OK. And I just help them get out of
41:29
that mind space and eventually they're going to be like, OK,
41:33
this is the steps I walk through of like, OK, well, they're going
41:36
to do that. Do a 2 minute pity party.
41:38
OK, what does that look like for you?
41:40
And then you get back to it and they, they learn that tool
41:44
themselves. But as their coach, as their
41:47
mentor, they've never done that. I'm there to help them walk down
41:51
that path. And again, with entrepreneurship
41:55
founders, it's beautiful. And this is the Part 2 I want to
41:58
make sure we touch on is it should be fun.
42:03
If your business is not fun, you're not enjoying it, you're
42:07
showing up and like, man, this sucks.
42:09
You're doing it wrong. You're absolutely doing it
42:13
wrong. It doesn't have to be that way.
42:16
And so for me, I do tend to use a lot of humor in my coaching.
42:21
I'm trust me, I'm very serious. We execute, we make sales, we
42:24
win the end. But then how can I bring joy
42:28
into it? I'm like, all right, who's ready
42:31
to get hung up on today? Who's ready to get yelled at?
42:34
OK, you know what? I haven't got yelled at by any
42:36
clients today. That means I'm not making enough
42:37
phone calls. Who who could I go in, piss off
42:40
today? You know, you put a little bit
42:43
of humor because that's the reality of it, and it just
42:47
becomes so much more joyful. Yeah, yeah.
42:49
And then you're not taking things personally.
42:51
You're almost looking for. All right, Like I get to
42:54
basically piss someone off today because then I am pushing hard
42:57
enough. I'm going after my vision.
42:59
And it's not about my ego or how I feel about myself.
43:02
Like, no, I'm here to add, OK. And that's just part of it, so.
43:05
Yeah, like Bradley. OK.
43:06
How many people did you piss off today?
43:08
How many people hung up on you? How many times did you get told
43:10
no? This beautiful word back here,
43:12
if you didn't hear it all day, you didn't make enough phone
43:14
calls. Or actually I called 10 people
43:17
and all 10 people bought my product.
43:19
OK, that's a actually they're like, so proud.
43:22
That's a red flag. That's an absolute red flag.
43:26
First of all, you need to put that price up higher.
43:29
You, you, you're not making enough calls.
43:30
Like we need to get that down to where you have about a 30%
43:33
closing rate. Yeah, yeah.
43:36
Love that. That means now we're making
43:37
enough call. Now we're pushing harder, right?
43:39
So I could go into all the details, but yeah, it's it
43:42
should be fun. Yeah, man, I could.
43:44
I could talk to you all day, Julie.
43:45
It's so fun. We're about out of time.
43:47
I want to give you an opportunity.
43:49
You've been amazing. If anybody wants to work with
43:51
you, they want to read your book, they want your coaching.
43:55
How do they get in touch with you?
43:55
What does that look like? Like we talked about, one of the
43:58
easiest things is to just use the tools from my book Highly
44:02
Confident. This is it right here.
44:03
If you're watching, you can find highly confident it's on Amazon.
44:07
I do have the audio book out now, which is in my voice so
44:11
that I'm super excited about that.
44:13
But I do have, I have boot camps that I have multiple times a
44:16
year. They are really about the
44:18
foundations of business. We go after selling, we go out
44:21
after. How do I get to that 80% of
44:24
prospecting? And then I have a course that's
44:27
confidence on camera. If you're one of those founders
44:29
that you know, you need to put yourself on camera and start
44:33
speaking about your product or your service because that is the
44:36
number one way to get attention for your business.
44:40
I have a course for that too. So I really have a lot of tools
44:43
for business owners and founders.
44:45
I do have some high level one-on-one executive coaching
44:49
available as well. So ultimately I just want people
44:52
to find that confidence in what they're doing because I know if
44:55
you are a founder, you are an entrepreneur, your brain works a
44:58
little differently. And that's exactly who I love to
45:01
work with and support. Amazing.
45:03
Well, and you Julie, you practice it right.
45:05
It's one thing for someone to come on like, I hope you look
45:07
amazing on camera or present confidently and then they they
45:11
don't you're like, well, I don't know, something's off here.
45:13
But like you practice it the way that you show up and so
45:17
testament to the work you've done and I'm sure how you
45:19
support your clients so. Thank you so much.
45:22
Yeah. Well, thanks for being with us,
45:24
Julie. It's great to have you and I
45:26
look forward to version 2 because I could keep this
45:29
conversation going for a long time.