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Transcript

You Get In Life What You Expect · The Missing Secret Podcast

• 0:04
  Kelly Hatfield: We believe life is precious. This is it. We've got one shot at this. It's on us to live life to the fullest to maximize what we've been given and play the game of life at our full potential.
• 0:17
  John Mitchell: Are you living up to your potential? Are you frustrated that despite your best intentions, you just can't seem to make the changes needed to take things to the next level. So you can impact your career relationships and health.
• 0:31
  Kelly Hatfield: If this is hitting home, you're in the right place. Our mission is to open the door to the exceptional life by showing you how to play the game of life at a higher level. So you're playing at your full potential, rather than at a fraction as most people do. We'll share the one thing that once we learned it, our lives were transformed. And once you learn it, watch what happens.
• 0:59
  Welcome to Think It Be It the podcast. My name is Kelly Hatfield.
• 1:04
  John Mitchell: And I'm John Michell. So Kelly, here's the topic today. You get in life what you expect? You think that's true?
• 1:14
  Kelly Hatfield: Oh, yeah, absolutely. I'm excited. This is gonna be a really fun conversation.
• 1:20
  John Mitchell: No kidding. No kidding. You know, it's an interesting concept, though, that you get in life what you expect. And I think the, the takeaway is be clear about what you expect. And so to launch into this, I thought I would play a two minute video from Darren Hardy that explains this, and then then maybe you know, my will unpack it. So let's see if I can take the live play, make this happen. Perfect. Here we go.
• 1:58
  Kelly Hatfield: But I want to show you how attitude actually affects results. There's a direct line between an attitude and a result directly. So we're not just sort of theorizing about how attitude is actually creating and becoming a consequence of results. Here's the line that it works. You get in life, the outcome, the pot at the end of the rainbow, you get in life, what you create, we're all creative beings, you know, you come to this life, naked, scared and ignorant. That's how everybody starts. And then you end up building a life that you create. That's just the bottom line. It's how it works. So then what is it that is driving our creative process? What it is that we expect expectation manifest into creation? So that's the driving force of creation is what you expect to have happen is usually what it is that happens. So what's driving our expectation? Well, we think about this is the reason why all the towering models of personal development have been focused on this key ingredient right here thinking Grow Rich power, positive thinking, the magic of thinking big, as a man think at all focused on this particular issue, because they know your thinking is right. It's driving your expectation driving your creative engine producing the outcomes in your life. I wanted to take that a step further. Because how can I control my thoughts? may try to do that for five minutes to control your thoughts. It's nearly impossible, because your mind's like a two year old child, and it's gonna run off in every direction that possibly can, and you possibly can't monitor your mind at all times. So what is it then that is informing and directing your thoughts, and that is the input, whatever you're putting in your ears, or in front of your eyes, is what it is that you're thinking about. Just plain and simple. Input, garbage in, garbage out, good in good out. So whatever it is that you're feeding your face, your eyes in your ears, is what it is that you're thinking about is what it is that you're expecting what you're creating, and those are the outcomes to be alive.
• 3:55
  John Mitchell: You know, that's, that's pretty good in it.
• 3:58
  Kelly Hatfield: It's absolutely I'm excited to talk about this for sure. What we think about frames our expectations, this is going to be a really interesting conversation in the context of what's happening right now to in the world as we record this. Right. So let's dig in.
• 4:15
  John Mitchell: Well, you know, I think that one of the things I see is that I'll just recap what what he says is, what you get in life is what you create. And then he says, what drives the creative process is what you expect. Expectations manifests themselves. And so what drives our expectations, our thoughts and so what's dictating our thoughts, our thoughts are dictated by what what we have coming in, garbage in garbage out good and good out. And you know, as as this relates to think it'd be it I think it's so so perfect. Is that You know, when you take the succinct articulation of your life and you feed that to yourself every day you, here's the person I want to be, here's what I want to accomplish, here's what I'm going to achieve my clearly defined goals, you know, when you're putting that input in, boy, you are making it crystal clear what you expect, and you're driving the law of attraction. And, you know, I think it's the way you Darren already says it, it just so perfectly an ex to think it the why What do you think about that?
• 5:37
  Kelly Hatfield: No, I think I mean, he's right on the money in it, it talks about, you know, that input informs our thoughts, you know, specifically and, you know, so you were just talking about the methodology, you know, and being very clear, like, that's going to inform, then the expectations, and then, you know, your actions are going to be aligned, you know, with what those, you know, that clarity that you've created. And here's the thing that I think is really important. And I think that so many people listening right now, it's easy to fall victim to this, with the type of input we all have access to now, we're hearing all of this stuff that's negative right now happening between the political at the time that we're talking about this right now, politics is at a fever pitch, you know, there's a lot of divisiveness, happening, a lot of stuff, that's just you shake your head out and are like, What in the world. So there's social media that's really is influencing people's emotions, and how they feel about themselves and all of those things. So really being careful. That's the one thing that stood out when he said garbage in garbage out, is what is your awareness right now around the type of input that you're taking into your life. Because if you're in a constant diet, of what's happening in the news, or you're anesthetizing yourself each night, by scrolling through social media for hours, then you know, you should expect the garbage because exactly what you are taking in is garbage. So putting, you know, so putting those guardrails up for yourself so that you are really monitoring that input and you're taking in the right things that are going to support. You know, the clarity that you talked about earlier? That's part of the methodology. Right?
• 7:35
  John Mitchell: Well, you know, I just see that, that 99% of people are friggin just weighing in life, they don't have a way of doing life. They're, you know, they just wake up, and they let the garbage come in, and, and garbage comes out, and they're frustrated with their life. They're not as successful as they, they think they should be. And, you know, that's it. I think the reason they they do that is not from being intentionally this way, but nobody's come to him and said, you know, you're just winging life, how about applying the central concept of the top book the world on success to your life? Which, which essentially, is feeding the succinct articulation of your life to yourself each day? How about that as an alternative to just winging it? And, and, you know, that's what I talked to people now I this is this is sort of how I pitch it. And, and you know, you'll find this interesting. So I explained all this to my class just the other day, I think I told you, one of the students in my class, her name is Alex said that not only does she listen to our podcast, but her mom and stepdad are both art nerds listen to it, you know, very cool that she, she got it, and but you know, and I look at her, and she's gonna be successful. I mean, she, she, I don't know, she's probably 20 years old. And she's very interested in think it'd be it. But you know, I just look at that girl. And, and I can feel it, she's gonna be successful. You know, I just see it. And so it's, it's sort of cool. But the other thing that sort of hits me, and I think about this a lot, that the thoughts that are going on your head on an ongoing basis, determine not only your enjoyment of life, but your success in life. And I think everybody would agree with that. But you know what, I think it also begs the question Will, why do your Why do your thoughts determine your success? Well, because your success in life comes down to your daily actions, and every daily action requires a thought so Oh, thoughts, initiate actions. And so, you know, when you take control of your thoughts, 95% of which are unconscious, that's really the opportunity. You know, if if all your thoughts were conscious, it'd be impossible to control it, but the fact that 95% of them are unconscious, boy, that's the opportunity, B and opportunity, meaning you can go into the mechanism, this generating those sides, the subconscious mind, and influence that mechanism before the thoughts are created. And then that's the power of feeding these succinct articulation of your life to yourself each morning, for 12 mins a day, then it makes the right actions, the right thoughts happen, which then causes the right actions to happen. And after approximately 21 days, the right actions start having an automatically and now you're playing the game of life at a much higher level. I don't know that's, that's my latest sort of clarity about how things could be a works. No, I
• 11:09
  Kelly Hatfield: love it. And I think too, you know, let's, I'm going to stay on that input track for a minute. Because I think it's one of the things that derails people the quickest is right there, what they're taking in, what kind of influences we talk all the time about having a growth mindset, and whether they're mentors from afar, or whatever the case is, you're taking in that positive, you know, you can follow great people on social media who have really great things to say that support the vision that you have for your life, right, there are things that you can do that bring, you can limit put limits on news and things along those lines. And the reason why I share this is, when I first started doing my visualization, I, again, having that succinct vision for myself for who I wanted to be what I needed to, you know, accomplish how I was going to do that, and having all of that clarity. I then set up habits to override, like the things that weren't serving me, which might have been taking in too much news, or whatever, like, I use this technique to remember those bumpers I mentioned earlier. Like, you've got to, you know, control what comes into your this was one of the things that was the first thing that I worked on, was eliminating the input, which for me, too, is the type of people I had in my life at the time, you know, that influence, you know, had an influence over my thoughts at raw emotions, things along those lines. And so that's the beautiful part about this, too, is, you know, buy in, you can create new habits by doing that repetition, once you have that clarity, and then having the repetition around, what are those new actions that you're going to take that support that vision that you have for yourself?
• 12:52
  John Mitchell: Yeah, right. Well, you know, I think it's interesting in, in our methodology, you know, when you're feeding in the yourself, or you're feeding all the attributes that you want in yourself, and I was counting it the other day, there's like, in my visualization, there's, like 18, or 19 attributes that I want to myself, well, think about that. If you feed that to yourself every day, of course, those attributes are going to show up, you're there's clarity about it, you're, you're feeding it in the subconscious mind. And then when you start living your day, it's feeding it back up to you that, oh, I want to be a good listener. Maybe it'd be better for me to listen then to, you know, saying, Yes, right. Right. Yeah, maybe it'd be good, good to me, for me to be self aware, maybe maybe it'd be good idea for me to be humble, maybe the good idea, you know, to, I don't know, live my values of being fair with everybody I deal with and doing what I say I'm gonna do, but you know, you can either boy or share it that is, is that, you know, you define those 18 things that you want to be and you feed it to yourself every day, boom, you become that and and, you know, I see how this affects my health. You know, there's, there's 10 things about my health, about how I control my eating and how I control my exercising, okay, feed that to yourself every day and it influences your daily actions and to then calves down to your marriage, you know, how do I want to be with the ginge? And there's five or six key things with her, and, but you know, then it wouldn't read it when it rolls into career. That's a little different, because, you know, in self relationship and health, it's all you know, more or less cut and dried, we're all want to be more or less the same thing largely. But when you take your career and you divide and you define it relative to those six things, we talked about where you're talking about your sustained plan your strategy for success, the two or three things that move the needle, the where you want to be, or three years from now, the four or five milestones to get there and the linchpin issue, when you take those six things and you define them, I found it was infinitely better than having you know that, that massive 40 page business plan that you maybe pull out the shelf once a year, and I found how powerful was to take those six things and feed them to myself every day with my career, and then then evolve them as I, as they naturally would evolve. And so I don't know I get the more I look at it, think it Be it, the more simple it becomes, I think, yeah,
• 15:50
  Kelly Hatfield: No, absolutely. That's the brilliance behind it. Right? Right. It's really how simple it is. And that's why we joke all the time, or you just want to shake people. Right? Listen, right? There's a better way. Yeah. And it's so simple.
• 16:05
  John Mitchell: Right? You know, I tell you, though, I and you've seen me go do this from being mad at people for not getting it to, I'm way okay with it now. And, and, and I'm like, you know, if they're enlightened, they're gonna get it. If they're not enlightened, they're not going to get it, at least at this time. They may get it at a future point. And so I'm, I'm really focused on on the people, they get it. And it's like, with my, my class. Now, keep in mind, this particular class is mostly sophomores. So they're 20 years old? Well, you know, I don't expect them to be nearly as motivated as seniors, you know, we, in my class, I'll teach this fall, it'll be all basically seniors, and there'll be mostly athletes? Well, you know, they're right on the verge of going into the real world. They're all about it. But she know, the sophomores, you know, by and large, you know, they're still glad to be away from mom and dad. And literally, you know, and, and so, you know, in pitching it to them, as I see which ones are interested, I only think, you know, maybe a third of the class is interested in it, you know, whereas, you know, when you're talking to seniors, you're gonna have 80% of the class interested in?
• 17:31
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, yep. They're at that point in their life. Again, this is a lot where we talk a lot about kind of meeting people where they're at and how this resonates with people at different times. Or means, maybe if it's a little bit more meaningful, or something clicks in the didn't click in before, right, depending on where they're at, in their, you know, what's happening in their life, how much pain they're in or in nearby, with the students just at what phase in the life, their life they're in, you know, the senior is going to be much more motivated and be like, okay, the real world is about ready to smack me in the face, like better right figured out.
• 18:05
  John Mitchell: And I think they're afraid of the real world. Although I don't, you know, I guess when I was like, a senior in college, I was, I don't, I don't remember being afraid of it. I remember thinking, Boy, I'm gonna crush it because I'm, I'm making straight A's in college. And I look it out naive. That was because I and I think I told my class is a fallacy that I now understand is that being good in college is very linear. You know, I mean, you you go to class, you you regurgitate the information back to the professor, it's all very linear. And the real world is anything but linear. And that's why you can do great in school, and largely, may not do so well, in life, unless you have, in my opinion, a way of doing life. You know, one thing I think the audience would be, would get value out of you may be explaining is the power of the reticular activating system and how this fits in. You want to explain that to everybody? Yeah,
• 19:18
  Kelly Hatfield: Absolutely. So we have this part of our brain called the reticular activating system or Raz. And basically it is the filter or our life for our brain. So whatever we focus on basically expands, right. And this, you know, so if you're thinking you know, specifically about, well, let's just use a specific business goal, you know, where the things that move the needle or what your formula is for success. When you have a lot of clarity around that. Your reticular activating system will start to reveal stuff and bring stuff in you will start to see things that have been in front of you the whole time, but because you weren't clear and worked Telling your brain what to look for, it didn't know what to look for those things, once you get clear, you know and have a lot of clarity around the different things that we talk about, you will be amazed at what starts showing up in your life because your brain knows to look for it, oh, there's a connection right there, you know that, you know, that's aligned with the direction that I'm going in, or whatever the case may be. But that reticular activating system, again, being the filter for your life, the only way to really optimize that and get the most out of it is to have a tremendous amount of clarity and tell it what to look for. tell it what to filter in. And it goes back to what we were talking about at the very beginning, the input, you know, that you're taking into, you know, that garbage in garbage out, again, what you focus on expands, so that 95% of that subconscious, that you don't have control over right now. Because you aren't utilizing this method. It's again, autopilot type stuff. If it's been telling you, when you wake up in the morning, like, oh, you know, what's today gonna bring in? You know, well, then you're gonna look for all the negative crap, because you framed things again, well, at least think about frames our expectations is what was mentioned at the clip at the very beginning, right? So that reticular activating system is exactly what we're talking about, if you're framing it at the beginning, and it's like, oh, you know, well, then you bet. Everywhere you look, you're gonna find the stuff that's wrong, right. Whereas if you've trained yourself to think about today's gonna be a fantastic day, you know, and you're clear about the things, you know what your goals are in those, then your brain will start looking for those things. It'll look for all of the wonderful things that will look for the things that are going to bring in the thing, the things that support your goals and the direction that you're moving in. So that's the power of the reticular activating system, and we're all wasting it. Right? We aren't telling it and giving it the basically the programming that it needs to touch and seek out and filter those things in,
• 22:11
  John Mitchell: Where you don't think about this. I think that that Tibi, methodology, really supercharges the reticular activating system, because when you look at it, you know over the last 20 years, you know, with the advent of the the internet, you know, now we have way more coming into our consciousness with with the internet and social media. And again, most people are not giving that retakes of activating system, the clarity, it needs to use it to his full benefit. But if you're as an alternative, feeding the succinct articulation of your life to yourself each day, you're giving it immense clarity, and it basically supercharges that reticular activating system to bring to you the stuff this kind of, you know, really up your life and that's why and this is what, enthuses me about, you know, teaching Tibby is it gives a person such an advantage over everybody else. You know, that's the cool thing about it. And and if there's one thing I learned in life, you by God need an advantage in life. Otherwise, you're getting the damn average life. That's my lesson Bucha the average? We don't we don't like the average life. Well, I think that that covers it. So any final parting words?
• 23:43
  Kelly Hatfield: I do not think so I think thank you for sharing that clip about expectations and kind of what frames that and I got a lot out of our conversation today. So thank you for the good topic. Okay,
• 23:55
  John Mitchell: Until next time, we'll see you.
• 24:01
  Kelly Hatfield: Thanks for listening today. If you've had your own aha moment from today's episode, send me or John an email. We'd love to share your epiphany with our audience. So email us at Kelly at think it'd be att.com or John at think it'd be att.com. In the meantime, live the exceptional life