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The Weeping Overseer: Modeling Repentance and Humility as the Non-Negotiable Foundation of Biblical Eldership · Reformed Thinking

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  Welcome to reformed thinking. It's good to be here.
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  Today we're doing something a little different.
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  We usually look at theology in the abstract.
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  You know, doctrines, history, the big ideas.
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  The 50,000 foot view. Exactly.
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  But today we are looking at something that, I'll be honest,
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  it scares me a little bit. We're looking at the people, the
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  people standing behind the pulpit.
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  It is a terrifying topic. Actually, it is because it
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  forces us to look past the performance, past the Sunday
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  morning persona and into the reality of a human heart.
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  And we're setting aside all the usual metrics for this.
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  I mean, we are not talking about how to grow a church to 5000
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  people or how to launch a building campaign or how to, you
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  know, get a book deal with a major publisher.
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  None of that. We are looking at the biblical
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  requirements for elders and specifically we're looking at
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  two things that frankly, they just don't make it on to many
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  resumes today. Not at all.
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  Repentance and humility. It's the countercultural
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  underbelly of leadership, isn't it?
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  If you go to a business seminar or even a lot of church growth
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  conferences, you hear about vision, strategy, leverage,
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  brand. All the buzzwords.
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  All of them. But we're diving into two
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  sources today that just cut right through.
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  That one is called Clothed in Humility, the elder who models
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  repentance. OK, and the other has a title
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  that just stops you cold. The weeping Overseer.
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  The Weeping Overseer. Wow.
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  I mean, it sounds tragic, doesn't it?
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  It sounds like a man who has lost the battle.
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  It does. It really does.
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  In our culture, weeping is losing.
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  Weeping means you broke. Right, it's weakness.
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  But the argument these sources make is that weeping,
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  specifically weeping over your own sin, is actually the badge
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  of victory in the Christian life.
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  It's the mark of a man who actually knows God.
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  OK, We have to unpack that and I want to set the stage here
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  because we're coming this from a specific angle.
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  We are standing on the Westminster Confession of Faith.
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  Right. And the confession makes a huge
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  deal about the means of grace. The Word, the sacraments, and
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  prayer. The very things God uses to
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  build his church. And the logic is well, if these
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  things are holy, if the bread and wine are set apart, if the
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  word is inspired, then the hands that handle them need to be holy
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  too. You can't have dirty hands
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  serving a holy meal. You really can't.
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  It's a vivid image and it's at the heart of this.
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  So let's look at the contrast our sources paint.
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  They describe a modern crisis versus a biblical mandate.
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  And I think anyone listening to this has felt it.
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  We live in a world that absolutely loves the strongman.
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  The great man theory of history. Exactly.
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  We want the CEO, we want the guy with the iron will, the guy who
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  walks into a room and just sucks all the oxygen out of it because
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  he's just that important. He has swagger, he has charisma.
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  Tons of it. And he gets results.
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  And that's the real trap, isn't it?
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  That's the pragmatic part. Right.
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  The sources argue that the church has drifted into a
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  pragmatic shift. We've looked at the corporate
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  world and said, hey, that works for selling widgets, so it
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  should work for saving souls. So we trade the pulpit for a
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  stage. We trade the shepherd for a
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  celebrity. And the Weeping Overseer source
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  argues that this is actually fatal.
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  It's not just a bad idea, it's fatal.
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  It says Christ, like leadership, isn't forged in a boardroom.
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  It's forged in brokenness. And it uses that imagery of the
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  towel and the basin. Which is the upper room?
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  John 13. Jesus the King of glory
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  stripping off his outer garments and washing the grime off his
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  disciples feet. I mean that is the model.
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  That's the whole picture. But the modern crisis is that we
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  have completely reversed it. We want leaders who keep their
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  outer garments on, who look polished and who have other
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  people wash their feet. It's the tyranny of the
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  measurable. Say more about that.
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  Well, you can count bodies in the seats.
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  You can count dollars in the offering plate.
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  You can't measure humility. No, you can't.
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  You can't put tears shed over personal sin on a spreadsheet.
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  It doesn't work. No, you can't.
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  But here's the danger. And this is where the
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  theological logic of our sources really hits hard.
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  One of them calls the Elder a living catechism.
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  I stopped reading when I saw that phrase.
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  A living catechism. It's powerful because most
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  people hear catechism and they think of, you know, that little
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  booklet of questions and answers you force kids to memorize.
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  Who made you? That made me.
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  Yeah. It brings up memories of Sunday
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  school drills. Right, But the word catechized
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  just means to teach, to instruct systematically.
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  The argument here is that the elder's life is a visual Lesson
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  plan. The congregation is watching him
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  to figure out how this whole Christianity thing actually
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  works in real life. So they aren't just listening to
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  his sermon on Sunday morning. Oh, not at.
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  All they're watching how he reacts when he's criticized.
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  They're watching how he treats his wife when he thinks no one's
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  looking. Exactly.
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  And here's the scary part. If the shepherd is proud, if
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  he's defensive, if he acts like he never ever sins, he is
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  catechizing the flock. He's teaching them something.
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  He is teaching them to be safe here you must be fake.
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  To be a leader, you must appear perfect.
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  He's teaching them that Christianity is about image
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  management. Which is basically just works
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  righteousness. It is absolutely works
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  righteousness. It's saying my standing depends
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  on my performance. But if the shepherd walks in the
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  light, if he is a weeping overseer who is honest about his
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  own need for grace, he teaches the flock that it's safe to
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  repent. He teaches them what grace
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  actually looks like when it hits a messy human life.
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  So his life then, it validates the doctrine of justification by
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  faith. Precisely.
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  You cannot sever the man's public ministry from his private
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  piety. As one of the sources says, what
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  he is, the whole church will soon become wow.
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  If he's a fake, the church becomes a theater.
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  If he's real, the church becomes a hospital for sinners.
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  That is a high stakes game. OK, let's get into the weeds of
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  the text. Then the sources take us right
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  to First Timothy 3. This is the list and the first
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  qualification. It feels like the big one above
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  reproach. It's.
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  The gatekeeper. Now I have to play devil's
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  advocate here for a second. When I hear above reproach, my
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  brain immediately hears perfect. I hear never makes a mistake.
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  Right. Seamless.
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  And if that's the standard, we might as well just turn off the
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  microphones and go home, because nobody I know qualifies.
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  And thankfully that is not what Paul means.
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  And this is where the Greek really helps us out.
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  The word is a nipple emptos. Nipple emptos.
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  OK, let's break that down. It's a compound word, and the
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  source material gives us this incredible imagery from like the
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  world of wrestling or combat, OK.
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  It implies a position that cannot be seized or arrested.
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  Think about a wrestling. Match.
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  OK, I'm picturing it. Two guys in the ring.
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  Right. And you're trying to grapple
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  your opponent to the ground. To do that, you need a handle.
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  You need something to grab onto. An arm, a leg, a weakness.
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  An epileptose describes a man who gives his opponent no
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  handle. No handle.
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  That is fascinating. So it doesn't mean he doesn't
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  have scars. It doesn't mean he hasn't been
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  in a fight before, not at all. It just means there's nothing
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  loose hanging off him that the enemy can grab.
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  Exactly. And think about what a handle is
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  in a man's life today. A handle is a an unpaid debt
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  that you're hiding. A handle is a secret addiction
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  to pornography. A handle is a temper that you
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  lose at home but you carefully hide at church.
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  Those are handles. And if you have a handle, the
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  enemy can use it. It's leverage.
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  It's absolute leverage. The enemy, whether that is Satan
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  the accuser or just a critic out in the world, can grab that
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  handle and use it to destroy you.
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  They can twist it. And because you're an elder,
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  when they take you down, they take the reputation of the
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  church down with you. So above reproach isn't about
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  sinless perfection. It's about safety.
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  It's about not being vulnerable to a valid accusation.
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  Right, It means when someone accuses you of something, it
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  just doesn't stick because your character is so well known.
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  It implies a consistency of life.
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  So if someone comes up and says I saw Elder Bob stumbling drunk
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  out of a bar last night. The reaction of the community
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  should be that just doesn't sound like the Bob we know.
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  But the reaction is, yeah, I could see that.
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  Then Bob have a handle. He's not above reproach.
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  That's a really helpful distinction to take.
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  Takes it out of the realm of impossible perfection and into
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  the realm of, well, integrity. That's the word.
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  But First Timothy 3.1 also talks about ambition.
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  It says if anyone aspires to the Office of Overseer, he desires a
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  noble task. This is a tricky 1.
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  It seems like it. Because we just said the modern
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  world loves ambition. We love the guy who wants to
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  climb the ladder. But the text here, it makes a
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  crucial distinction between carnal ambition and the noble
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  task. The text calls it Kalu Ergu.
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  A beautiful work, a good work, but we have to look at the
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  motivation behind it. In the corporate world, you
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  aspire to a position because of what it gives you.
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  Right. You get the coroner office, you
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  get the pay raise, you get the status.
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  Look at me, I'm the boss. That's carnal ambition.
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  But the noble task is defined by self sacrifice.
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  And one of our sources quotes Charles Spurgeon on this, and
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  it's one of those Spurgeon quotes that just, you know, cuts
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  right to the. Most.
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  He says essentially, if you can be happy doing anything else, if
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  you can be happy being a Baker, Oregon, a banker or farmer, then
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  go do that. Do not enter the ministry unless
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  you must. Unless there's a fire in your
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  bones like Jeremiah said. Exactly.
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  Unless God has ruined you for anything else.
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  Because the work is hard. It is bearing the burdens of
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  other people. It's walking people through
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  funerals and divorces and crises of faith.
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  If you're doing that because you want to be famous, you are going
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  to burn out or you are going to blow up.
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  So the aspiration is good, but only if the motive is service,
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  not status. It reminds me of what Jesus said
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  about the Gentiles lording it over people and he said.
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  Not so with you. Not so with you.
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  But whoever would be great among you must be your servant.
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  That's the great inversion of the Kingdom.
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  It is. OK, let's move to the core of
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  this deep dive. Repentance.
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  The source uses the phrase models repentance.
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  Now again I have to play devil's advocate.
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  Doesn't a leader who is apologizing all the time just
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  look weak? If I'm following a general into
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  battle I don't want him stopping every 5 minutes to say sorry
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  guys I messed up the map again. Right.
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  If it's incompetence, sure. But we are talking about
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  incompetence here. We're talking about moral
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  failing and sin, and the source makes a huge distinction between
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  what it calls remorse and what it calls repentance.
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  OK, unpack that for us, because I think in everyday language we
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  use those words interchangeably. We do, but biblically they are
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  worlds apart. One of the sources puts it this
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  way. Remorse is a mood.
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  Repentance is a movement. Mood versus movement, I like
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  that. Remorse is just I feel bad.
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  It's emotional. It's the politician who gets
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  caught in a scandal and cries at the press conference.
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  He's sad. But why is he sad?
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  He's sad because he got caught. Usually, yeah, He's sad because
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  he lost his reputation. He's sad because his life is
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  messy now. That is what the source and the
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  Bible calls worldly grief. And the source points us to say
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  Corinthian 7 for this distinction.
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  Yes, Paul talks about worldly grief producing death.
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  It's totally self-centered. The idol of Self is still on the
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  throne, it's just been dented a little bit.
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  So he's trying to Polish the idol back up.
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  He is, he's managing the narrative.
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  He's thinking, how do I spin this?
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  How do I get my platform back? It's all about damage control
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  for the self. So what is godly grief then?
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  What does that look like? Godly grief produces metanoia,
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  that is the Greek word for repentance, and it means a
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  change of mind that leads to a change of direction.
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  A whole new direction. It isn't just a mood swing, it's
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  a movement of the whole person, mind, heart and will, away from
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  the sin and toward God. It's a complete 180.
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  So how do you spot the difference?
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  I mean, if an elder is crying in front of the session, how do you
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  know if it is worldly grief or godly grief?
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  Well, the source gives us a litmus test, and it is a tough
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  one. It's the readiness to accept
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  consequences. Ouch.
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  Yeah, that's tough. Yeah, a genuinely repentant man
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  accepts that his actions have forfeited his right to lead, at
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  least for a time. He doesn't demand the immediate
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  restoration of trust. He doesn't say I said I was
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  sorry, so why are you still punishing me?
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  Exactly. He doesn't do that.
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  Instead he says I have sinned against God and against you and
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  I am willing to sit down. I am willing to be examined.
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  I care more about the holiness of this church than I care about
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  my title. That is rare.
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  It is incredibly rare, but that is the weeping overseer.
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  He is weeping over the sin itself, not just the punishment.
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  He hates what he did because it offended a holy God.
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  This connects right back to what we were saying about
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  justification. If my standing is secured by
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  Christ, I don't need to justify myself.
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  Bingo. That is the theological anchor
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  for this whole thing. If I have to justify myself, I
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  will lie. I will minimize.
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  I will blame shift. Oh, my wife made me angry so I
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  yelled. Right, that's self
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  justification. But if I am justified by Christ,
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  I can say I yelled because I was proud and angry and I was wrong,
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  period. I can tell the absolute truth
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  about myself because the verdict on my soul has already been read
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  in court and the verdict is righteous in Christ.
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  And that is the only thing that can break the tyranny of
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  personality driven power. It is if a leader is secure in
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  Christ, he doesn't need the congregation to worship him.
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  He is free to be a Sinner, saved by grace.
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  And that, paradoxically, is what makes him safe to follow.
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  Let's pivot to the other side of that coin, then.
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  Humility Clothed in humility. Now we have a cultural
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  stereotype of humility, don't we think?
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  Of the guy who sort of looks at his shoes, speaks in a whisper,
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  and constantly puts himself down.
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  Oh, I'm nobody. I'm just terrible.
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  The Uriah Heep syndrome from Dickens.
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  The false groveling humility. Right.
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  Is that what the Bible means? No, not at all.
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  That is actually just pride in a cheap disguise.
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  Self hatred is still self obsession.
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  You're still thinking about yourself all the time.
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  You're just thinking bad thoughts.
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  True humility, Biblical humility, is self forgetfulness.
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  It's not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of
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  yourself less. The Greek word here is Tapina
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  freseni. Yes, it means lowliness of mind,
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  but the source defines it beautifully as sober God
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  centered realism. Sober God centered realism.
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  It's seeing things as they actually are.
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  It is realizing God is huge, I am small, He is holy, I am a
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  Sinner, and yet somehow he loves me.
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  It's getting the scale right in the universe.
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  Exactly, and the source anchors this in James 4.6.
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  God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.
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  I mean just pause and think about that verse for a second.
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  God opposes the proud. It's an active verb.
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  It implies God is actively fighting against you.
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  He is your antagonist. If you are a proud elder, you
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  don't just have a personality flaw, you have God Almighty as
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  your opponent. You are in the ring with God and
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  you will lose. That is a terrifying thought for
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  a church leader. I mean, you are trying to lead
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  God's people while God himself is opposing you.
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  It's a recipe for absolute disaster.
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  That's why the source says humility must begin vertically.
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  It begins with trembling at Scripture.
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  If a man can read the Bible, read about the holiness of God,
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  the judgement of sin, the cross of Christ, and not feel his own
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  smallness, he is not humble. He is numb.
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  And that vertical reality, that trembling before God has to flow
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  horizontally into his relationships.
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  It has to. You can't be humble before God
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  on Sunday and arrogant towards your neighbor on Monday.
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  It doesn't work that way, the source says.
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  It manifests as gentleness. It manifests as a refusal to
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  dominate people. And this brings us right to the
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  Christological pattern. We have to go to Philippians 2.
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  It's the ultimate standard, isn't it?
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  Have this mind among yourselves which is yours in Christ Jesus.
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  And what did he do? He didn't cling to his status.
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  He emptied himself, He took the form of a servant.
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  He became obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
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  The source has this great line. It says a humble elder's
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  authority smells like Christ. I love that it appeals to the
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  senses. There is an aroma to leadership.
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  Some leaders smell like sulfur. It's all fire and brimstone and
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  ego, but a humble leader smells like the one who washed feet.
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  He uses his authority to protect the weak, not to win arguments.
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  Right. That brings up First Timothy
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  3.3. Not violent, but gentle.
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  And again, we have to define our terms.
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  Gentleness is not weakness. We hear gentle and we think
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  soft. We think of a grandmother
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  holding a kitten. But the biblical concept of
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  gentleness or meekness is strength under control.
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  Like a trained War Horse that responds to the slightest touch
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  of the rain, it has immense power, but it's disciplined.
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  Exactly. It's having the power to crush
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  someone with your words or your position, but choosing to serve
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  instead. The source contrasts this with
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  the quarrelsome man. The quarrelsome man treats every
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  interaction as a battlefield. If you correct him, he sees it
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  as an attack and he immediately launches a counter string.
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  He. Has to win, that's the main
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  thing. He has to win, but the humble
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  man, he receives correction as mercy.
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  He thinks maybe God is using this person to show me a blind
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  spot I can't see. That is a completely different
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  world view. Now let's talk about a very
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  specific danger the text warns against.
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  The sources call it the fatal snare.
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  First Timothy 3.6 as an elder must not be a recent convert.
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  The Greek is Neophytos. Which means newly planted a
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  novice. Right, a sapling.
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  And this is where that pragmatic shift we talked about earlier
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  really gets us into deep trouble, because what do we do
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  in the modern church? A guy gets saved.
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  He's high capacity. Maybe he's a successful
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  entrepreneur, or he's a famous athlete or a musician.
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  He has obvious gifts. He has charisma.
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  And we immediately say we need to get this guy in leadership.
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  Think of the influence he could have, think of the people he
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  could reach. So we fast track him, we put him
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  on the board, we give him a microphone.
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  But the text says this is a trap.
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  It says he might become puffed up.
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  The word is tifastus and it's related to the Greek word for
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  smoke. It means to be blinded by smoke.
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  So the imagery is what? The imagery is that the man is
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  enveloped in the smoke of his own self importance.
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  He can't see clearly anymore. He starts believing his own
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  press clippings. He does.
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  He starts to think the fruitfulness of his ministry is
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  due to his own greatness, not God's grace.
• 18:21
  He hasn't had time to put down deep roots.
• 18:22
  He hasn't weathered the storms that deep in a man's character.
• 18:25
  He's all top growth and no root system.
• 18:27
  And when the wind blows? He topples and the text says he
• 18:30
  falls into the condemnation of the devil.
• 18:32
  That is heavy language. What does that mean exactly?
• 18:35
  It connects right back to the original fall of Satan.
• 18:38
  What was Satan's sin? It was pride.
• 18:41
  It was aspiring to a position that wasn't his.
• 18:44
  I will make myself like the Most High.
• 18:47
  So when we elevate a novice, we are literally handing him the
• 18:51
  same temptation that took down the most powerful Angel in
• 18:54
  creation. We are setting him up for a
• 18:55
  diabolical fall. We're handing him a loaded gun.
• 18:59
  So. Telling a gifted young man no or
• 19:01
  not yet is actually an act of love.
• 19:03
  It is protecting him. It's an act of pastoral care for
• 19:06
  him. It's saying we love you too much
• 19:08
  to let your gifts destroy your soul.
• 19:10
  That is a hard sell in a culture that worships youth and speed
• 19:13
  and results. The text also mentions
• 19:15
  reputation with outsiders in verse 7.
• 19:18
  He must be well thought of by outsiders.
• 19:21
  Why do we care what the Pagan world thinks of our elders?
• 19:23
  Because the gospel is at stake, the reputation of the church is
• 19:26
  tied to the reputation of its leaders.
• 19:28
  If an elder is known in the business community as a crook or
• 19:31
  a liar or someone who doesn't pay his contractors on time,
• 19:34
  that matters. You can't preach truth on Sunday
• 19:37
  and practice deceit on Monday. The hypocrisy kills the message.
• 19:41
  It absolutely does, and the source applies this to refute
• 19:44
  what it calls mysticism or novel revelations.
• 19:48
  You have guys who you know, they claim to have these deep
• 19:50
  spiritual experiences. God told me this.
• 19:52
  I saw a vision of that. But if their next door neighbor
• 19:55
  knows they are cheating on their taxes, the vision doesn't
• 19:59
  matter. It has no credibility.
• 20:01
  Character Trump's charisma. Character Trump's spiritual
• 20:04
  gifting. Every single time.
• 20:07
  Now we come to the part of the passage that makes everyone
• 20:10
  squirm a little, the domestic test, First Timothy 3 verses
• 20:15
  4:00 and 5:00. He must manage his own household
• 20:17
  well with all dignity, keeping his children submissive.
• 20:21
  This is the proving ground. The source calls it the chiastic
• 20:23
  structure of the arguments, an argument from the lesser to the
• 20:26
  greater right. If a man cannot manage his own
• 20:28
  household, which is a small group of people who are supposed
• 20:30
  to love him, how in the world can he care for God's church?
• 20:33
  It's just simple devastating logic, but I like the analogy of
• 20:39
  the green room that the source uses.
• 20:40
  The green Room. Yeah, in show business, the
• 20:43
  green room is where you are before you go on stage.
• 20:46
  It's backstage. On stage.
• 20:48
  You have the lights, the makeup, the script you're performing,
• 20:51
  but in the green room, the mess comes off.
• 20:53
  You're just you. You're just you.
• 20:55
  The home is the green room of life.
• 20:57
  You can fool your boss. You can fool your small group
• 21:00
  for two hours a week, but you cannot fool your wife and
• 21:03
  children. No, they see you at 3:00 AM when
• 21:06
  the toddler is vomiting. They see you when the Internet
• 21:09
  goes out right before you can watch the game.
• 21:11
  They see you when you're tired, hungry and stressed.
• 21:13
  That is where the real theology comes out, not in the study, but
• 21:16
  in the kitchen. Exactly.
• 21:18
  If you are patient and kind in the pulpit, but you are a tired
• 21:21
  turned at the dinner table, the pulpit is a lie.
• 21:24
  It's a performance. And the source argues that the
• 21:27
  home is the little church. This is a very covenantal idea.
• 21:30
  Explain that the Father is a shepherd to his family.
• 21:33
  That's his first flock. If he can't shepherd the flock
• 21:36
  of three or four, he is not qualified to shepherd the flock
• 21:39
  of 3 or 400. So what are we looking for?
• 21:41
  Because again, we aren't looking for a perfect family.
• 21:44
  Children have their own wills they send.
• 21:46
  Wives and husbands have conflict.
• 21:48
  Right. Doesn't mean his kids are robots
• 21:49
  who never disobey. The texts says he manages the
• 21:52
  household with all dignity. It implies a relationship of
• 21:56
  respect, not a fear. The expert advice and the source
• 22:00
  is to look for signs of grace in the home.
• 22:03
  Does he confess sin to his wife? That is a huge one.
• 22:06
  It's the ultimate humility, isn't it?
• 22:08
  Can he look his teenage son in the eye and say I was wrong?
• 22:11
  I spoke harshly to you. Will you forgive me?
• 22:14
  That teaches the Son more about the gospel than 100 sermons ever
• 22:17
  could. It does.
• 22:18
  It shows that Dad is under the authority of Guide too.
• 22:21
  But if he's harsh or sarcastic or passive, if he just checks
• 22:25
  out and lets Mom do all the spiritual heavy lifting, that's
• 22:28
  a disqualifier. It's the Doctor Jekyll and Mr.
• 22:30
  Hyde scenario, and the church needs consistency.
• 22:32
  We need integration. The same man in public must be
• 22:35
  the same man in private. No gaps.
• 22:38
  This leads us naturally into the disqualifying patterns.
• 22:41
  The source gives us a list of red flags and I think this is so
• 22:45
  helpful because sometimes we have a gut feeling about a
• 22:48
  leader but we can't really put words to it.
• 22:51
  These patterns give us the vocabulary, and the first one is
• 22:54
  defensiveness. How does that look in the wild?
• 22:57
  What's an example? It looks like a counter attack
• 22:59
  it. Let's say you go to an elder and
• 23:01
  you say, hey, I was concerned about how the recent budget
• 23:04
  decision was made. Could you walk me through?
• 23:06
  It OK a reasonable question. A very reasonable question.
• 23:09
  A defensive leader doesn't say. Sure, let's talk about it.
• 23:12
  Tell me more, he says. You don't trust the leadership.
• 23:15
  You have a rebellious spirit. He flicks the script instantly.
• 23:19
  He makes you the problem for noticing the problem.
• 23:21
  It shuts down conversation immediately.
• 23:23
  It protects his ego at all costs.
• 23:26
  That is toxic. What's the second one?
• 23:28
  Retaliation. This takes defensiveness a step
• 23:31
  further. This is actively punishing the
• 23:33
  critic. The.
• 23:34
  Freeze out. The freeze out the cold
• 23:36
  shoulder. Maybe you get removed from a
• 23:38
  serving team without any explanation.
• 23:40
  Maybe you get publicly shamed in a sermon.
• 23:42
  Subtly, of course, some people are saying.
• 23:44
  I've seen that happen. It is using the power of the
• 23:47
  office to hurt those who question you.
• 23:50
  It creates a culture of fear. No one wants to speak up.
• 23:53
  Everyone learns don't cross the boss. 3rd is secrecy.
• 23:57
  Hiding sin rather than killing it.
• 23:59
  This creates the double life. It's the man who has a burner
• 24:03
  phone. It's the man who has separate
• 24:05
  bank accounts his wife doesn't know about.
• 24:07
  Transparency is the friend of holiness.
• 24:10
  Secrecy is the friend of sin. 4th is a domineering style.
• 24:14
  This is the CEO problem again. Unilateral decision making.
• 24:18
  I decided. Now you execute.
• 24:20
  It shows a complete contempt for plurality.
• 24:22
  And plurality, meaning having multiple elders, is a safety
• 24:26
  mechanism, right? That's God's design.
• 24:28
  It is Gov design for safety. One man is easily deceived.
• 24:31
  A group of godly men can hold each other accountable, but a
• 24:34
  domineering man hates plurality. He sees it as an obstacle.
• 24:37
  He wants yes men. He wants a board that just
• 24:39
  rubber stamps his vision. And finally, the fifth red flag
• 24:43
  is the refusal of process. Treating accountability as
• 24:47
  persecution. So you're witch hunting me?
• 24:49
  Exactly. Or touch not God's anointed.
• 24:53
  When a leader claims that standard accountability
• 24:55
  procedures like a financial audit or an investigation into a
• 24:58
  complaint are actually attacks from the devil, you need to run.
• 25:02
  Run because that man has placed himself above the law.
• 25:06
  And as the source says, pride plus authority is combustible.
• 25:09
  It breeds spiritual abuse. It creates a blast zone where
• 25:12
  sheep get hurt badly. So practically speaking, then,
• 25:16
  how does a church find the right guys?
• 25:18
  If you can't trust the resume and you can't just go by
• 25:21
  charisma, how do you assess for these things?
• 25:24
  The source gives a great piece of advice here.
• 25:26
  A time is an ally. First Timothy 5.22 Do not be
• 25:29
  hasty in the laying on of hands. Do not rush.
• 25:32
  We are often in such a hurry to fill spots we need three more
• 25:35
  elders by the annual meeting. So we grab warm bodies that seem
• 25:37
  competent. But the Bible says let them be
• 25:39
  tested first. Watch them over a long period.
• 25:42
  Watch them when they are tired. Watch them when they suffer.
• 25:45
  Watch how they treat their family.
• 25:46
  And ask better questions. The source suggests some
• 25:49
  interview questions that really cut through the fluff.
• 25:52
  Yeah, don't just ask. Do you agree with the
• 25:54
  Westminster Confession? Any decent student can say yes
• 25:56
  to that. Ask.
• 25:58
  Tell us about a recent sin you confess to your wife.
• 26:01
  If he just stares at you blankly.
• 26:03
  If he can't think of one, or if he says I don't really sin much,
• 26:08
  you have a serious problem. You have a man who is not
• 26:11
  examining his own heart. He's blind.
• 26:14
  Or ask how do you respond when your plans are blocked or
• 26:17
  criticized? Does he get angry?
• 26:19
  Does he pout? Does he trust God's sovereignty?
• 26:22
  These kinds of questions reveal the heart and do reference
• 26:26
  checks, but not just the references he gives you on his
• 26:28
  list. Right, because he's only going
• 26:30
  to list his friends. Of course.
• 26:31
  So ask his employer, ask his neighbors, ask the people who
• 26:34
  have no reason to impress him. What is Bob like to work with?
• 26:38
  Does he pay his bills on time? That gives you the 360° view of
• 26:43
  his character. It sounds like we need to build
• 26:44
  a whole culture around this, yeah.
• 26:46
  It can't just be a screening process that happens once every
• 26:48
  few years. No, it has to be the DNA of the
• 26:51
  leadership. The elders need to model this
• 26:53
  amongst themselves first. They need to be a safe place for
• 26:56
  each other to confess sin and weakness.
• 26:59
  So what does that look like? It means if the elders meeting
• 27:02
  is just a business meeting where everyone is posturing and trying
• 27:05
  to sound smart, the church will reflect that.
• 27:07
  But if the elders meeting is a place where men get on their
• 27:10
  knees and cry out to God for grace for their own souls, the
• 27:13
  church will feel that the health starts at the top.
• 27:16
  It changes the preaching too, doesn't it?
• 27:18
  It demands preaching that distinguishes between the law
• 27:21
  and the gospel. We need the law to crush our
• 27:24
  self righteousness and show us our need for a Savior.
• 27:27
  And we need the gospel to lift us up and show us Christ.
• 27:30
  And if the pulpit is just five steps to a better you?
• 27:33
  It breeds pride. I can do this, or it breeds
• 27:36
  despair. I can't do this.
• 27:37
  But if the pulpit is constantly saying you can't do this, but
• 27:41
  Christ did it for you, that creates a culture of humility
• 27:45
  and dependence. We have a few minutes left and I
• 27:47
  want to address the people who who are listening to this
• 27:49
  because I imagine we have two groups here.
• 27:52
  We have the weary St. the person who has maybe been burned by a
• 27:56
  leader who didn't look anything like what we've described.
• 27:59
  And my heart breaks for that person.
• 28:01
  The source speaks to you directly.
• 28:03
  It reminds you that Christ is the chief Shepherd.
• 28:06
  He has provided under shepherds to care for your soul, not to
• 28:09
  Lord over you. If you have been hurt by a
• 28:11
  domineering leader, please know that is not what Jesus looks
• 28:15
  like. Do not judge the master by the
• 28:17
  bad behavior of the servant. That is a vital, vital
• 28:20
  distinction and for the office bearer, the guy who was an elder
• 28:24
  or a pastor or wants to be one day.
• 28:26
  The call is to die. It's that simple and that hard.
• 28:29
  The call is to die to self so that Christ can be exalted in
• 28:32
  you and through you. It is a call to return to the
• 28:35
  towel in the basin. And one of our sources, the
• 28:37
  Weeping Overseer, connects this urgency to the return of Christ.
• 28:41
  The imminent return. Yes, the King is coming back.
• 28:45
  We are stewards. We are managing his household
• 28:48
  while he's away and when he walks through the door, do we
• 28:51
  want to be found beating the servants and getting drunk on
• 28:54
  power, or do we want to be found faithfully serving his people?
• 28:59
  The imminent return of Christ motivates holiness.
• 29:02
  It reminds us that we are accountable to Him.
• 29:05
  It puts everything in perspective.
• 29:06
  The accolades of the world, the size of the church, it all fades
• 29:09
  pretty fast when you're standing before the throne of God.
• 29:12
  It all turns to ash. As we wrap up, I want to go back
• 29:14
  to that central image, the weeping overseer.
• 29:17
  It really is the image we need to recover.
• 29:20
  The glory of Christ is not displayed in the swagger of his
• 29:23
  ministers. It's not in their charisma.
• 29:25
  It is displayed in their humility.
• 29:27
  It's displayed in their utter dependence on Him.
• 29:30
  The church is not built by spectacle.
• 29:31
  It isn't built by smoke machines or marketing funnels or CEO
• 29:35
  tactics. It's built by the ordinary means
• 29:37
  of grace. Handled by men who know they are
• 29:39
  sinners, It is the slow, steady, unglamorous work of faithful men
• 29:44
  who point away from themselves and to the Lamb of God who takes
• 29:47
  away the sin of the world. And when such men lead, the
• 29:50
  flock learns that it's safe to be a Sinner.
• 29:53
  They learn to walk in the light. And that is the whole goal.
• 29:55
  That's the beautiful work. So here's the thought I want to
• 29:58
  leave you with today. We've talked a lot about elders,
• 30:01
  but what about you, the listener?
• 30:03
  Whether you are a leader or not, does your life have handless?
• 30:08
  Is there a secret sin, a hidden debt, a grudge you are nursing
• 30:12
  that gives the enemy a grip? Is the enemy finding purchase,
• 30:16
  finding leverage in your life? Or are you walking in such
• 30:19
  transparent repentance that when the accuser reaches out to grab
• 30:23
  you, his hand slips? Are you safe not because you are
• 30:26
  perfect, but because you are hidden in Christ and walking
• 30:29
  honestly in the light? That is the question to wrestle
• 30:32
  with today. Thanks for listening to Reformed
• 30:34
  Thinking.