Latest / Mic Drop Comedy / Jon Slams Media on Biden_s Diagnosis_ Ronny on _Rump_ Merch _ Trump Bill Blowback

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Jon Slams Media on Biden_s Diagnosis_ Ronny on _Rump_ Merch _ Trump Bill Blowback · Mic Drop Comedy

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Not about you folks, but me.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: I'm on the pins and needles.
• 0:08
  Speaker 3: I'm very anxious right now. I'm very nervous, very anticipatory.
• 0:12
  Speaker 3: And it's not about whether Russia and Ukraine will be settled.
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: It's not whether somebody can stop Netanyahu.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Somebody, please. It's not whether Taylor's unfriended Blake. I don't know.
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: No, like most people in America, I am most looking
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: forward to reading a book.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: But when?
• 0:38
  Speaker 4: When?
• 0:41
  Speaker 5: We're back with breaking news and our politics lead and
• 0:43
  Speaker 5: a brand new excerpt from my upcoming book with Axios'
• 0:46
  Speaker 5: Alex Thompson. It's called Original Sin. I'm not sure if
• 0:48
  Speaker 5: you've heard of it. It's on Biden's decline. It's called
• 0:50
  Speaker 5: Original Sin. I'm sure you've heard on May 20th.
• 0:52
  Speaker 4: That's Tuesday. Original Sin.
• 0:54
  Speaker 5: That's coming out in three weeks.
• 0:56
  Speaker 4: On May 20th.
• 0:57
  Speaker 5: That's just 19 days away. In one week and one day.
• 1:00
  Speaker 5: Coming out in just a few days.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: Comes out Tuesday. You will not believe what we found out.
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: Don't news people have to tell you what they know
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: when they find it out? Isn't that the difference between
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: news and a secret? You won't believe what we found out.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: No, that's why I'm watching. Breaking news!
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: In a week.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: Now, I don't know how the rest of the country
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: is feeling about this book coming out, but I know
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: New York is hyped.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: New York City, baby!
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: The city.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: The city that never stops reading.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: That's our motto.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: Our motto is.
• 2:29
  Speaker 4: I'm kidding, of course.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: That is footage from the reopening of the Frick Museum.
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: By the way, it is New York, so you know
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: the real name of the museum is the F *
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: * * Collection.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: They just put it up there like, hey, the frigging collection?
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: What are we doing here? So what is this bombshell
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: book about?
• 2:55
  Speaker 7: A new book is outlining new claims about former President
• 2:58
  Speaker 7: Biden's physical and mental health. The book, Original Sin, claims
• 3:02
  Speaker 7: Biden's health had become so severe that there were internal
• 3:05
  Speaker 7: discussions about putting the president in a wheelchair.
• 3:08
  Speaker 8: He allegedly was napping during debate preparations.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: Another bombshell.
• 3:12
  Speaker 5: Former President Biden apparently forgot the name of his longtime aide,
• 3:15
  Speaker 5: Jake Sullivan, and called him Steve.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: My God!
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: LAUGHTER To be fair, when you forget a white guy's name,
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: to be fair, and I say this with respect.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: To the bombshell, Steve is not a bad guest.
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: I think even Jake Sullivan at some point was like,
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: is my name Steve?
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: Because when I look in the.
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: Mirror, I could be Steve. Or Scott, maybe a Craig.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: The point is.
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: The American news media were hungry for more.
• 4:11
  Speaker 4: A new Biden bombshell.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: Dropping bombshell allegations. A steady drip of new revelations. Damning claims.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: Damaging new details. Oh my goodness, they're dripping with details.
• 4:21
  Speaker 4: A massive tsunami.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: The drip drip on Joe Biden's decline.
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: My God, Fox News built an entire Biden sucks border wall.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: To hold back the raging drips of details in bombshells.
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: Nothing could slow down this coming feeding news frenzy about
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: Biden's cognitive health other than maybe a report on his
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: actual physical health, which was not good. But now we
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: got ourselves a little problem. You've prepared an entire smorgasbord.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: Smorgasbord. Charcuterie board.
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: F * * * ers.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm talking about.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: I'm eating cheese.
• 5:12
  Speaker 9: You know what I'm talking about.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: Entire smorgasbord, based on what you thought would.
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: Be a relatively uncomplicated story about mental decline. News has
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: the countdown clock. They got the book graphics. They got
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: the CNN Happy Meal tie-in toys. But now, doing the story.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: Seems almost disrespectful.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: Can CNN thread the needle?
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: How do you pivot from excitedly promoting your anchor's book
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: to somberly and respectfully promoting your anchor's book?
• 5:52
  Speaker 10: Health was very much in the news even before the
• 5:54
  Speaker 10: cancer diagnosis was announced on Sunday.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: That's because of a new book by CNN's Jake Tapper.
• 5:59
  Speaker 10: This was already going to be a tough week and
• 6:01
  Speaker 10: this makes it much harder.
• 6:03
  Speaker 4: And that is a reference to the fact that.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: Our colleague Jake Tapper and Alex Thompson.
• 6:08
  Speaker 4: Have a book that's set to publish on Tuesday.
• 6:11
  Speaker 11: This very tough news, this very challenging news. And at
• 6:15
  Speaker 11: the same time, the backdrop of our colleague Jake Tapper's
• 6:18
  Speaker 11: book with Alex Thompson coming out this week.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: It's so hard. It's such a difficult time.
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: So unfathomable in terms of the pain this family must
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: be feeling.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: And yet, if you act now.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: And.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: You use the code backslash... Tap that book, you will.
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: Obviously, this 20% off offer is not available for some
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: reason in Tennessee. But the point is, forgetting about the fact.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: How f * * * ing weird.
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: It is that the news is selling you a book
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: about news they should have told you was news a
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: year ago for free.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: It's just unbelievable.
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: It's just fun to watch them not only continue to
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: push the book in light of this difficult news, but
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: to actually frame this difficult news as perhaps even more
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: of a reason to buy this book.
• 7:44
  Speaker 12: The timing of former President Joe Biden's cancer diagnosis is
• 7:47
  Speaker 12: certainly dramatic, coming on the eve of a blockbuster new
• 7:51
  Speaker 12: book about his health and his time in the White House.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: Go on.
• 7:56
  Speaker 12: I'm sure some observers will say that the reporting in
• 7:59
  Speaker 12: the book is even more important now.
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: Yet nobody's saying that. No observers will say it's more
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: important now. Some observers might think, do these CNN people
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: work on commission?
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: Like, why are.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: They hawking this f * * * ing thing?
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: Is this a Girl Scout cookie situation?
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: Whoever sells the most TAPA books gets a schwin. Now,
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: that is not necessarily the model they will get. I
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: don't want to disincentivize people from working hard, obviously.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: I don't go through all the graphics before the show.
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: While CNN had to shift from somber and caring to
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: always be closing, Fox and the rest of the right-wing
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: media had a very different problem. How to shift from,
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: let's go, Brandon, to.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: Get well, Brandon.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: And then as quickly as possible back to, let's go, Brandon.
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: Watch them work their magic and see how much weight
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: the word butt carries.
• 9:18
  Speaker 13: It's a terrible thing for him and his family, so
• 9:21
  Speaker 13: I hope he beats it.
• 9:22
  Speaker 6: But look.
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: I hope he beats it, but not too fast. You
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: want to enjoy this?
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: But what?
• 9:40
  Speaker 13: But look, I don't believe that they just found out Friday,
• 9:44
  Speaker 13: because they're not credible on anything they've done.
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: So f * * * ing true.
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll bet he didn't find out Friday. I'll bet
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: he found out, like, Wednesday. LAUGHTER And then they were
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: all like, oh, my God, this is terrible. Should we
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: tell this f * * * ing guy?
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: And then they're like, I don't know, why don't we
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: tell the family first? And then they're like, yeah, but
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: this f * * * ing guy really wants to know.
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: I got to tell you, I think this all really
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: highlights an opening in the greeting card market. We don't
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: have enough cards that swing wildly from sympathy to accusation.
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: Praying you get well soon, but there are some holes
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: in your timeline.
• 10:37
  Speaker 6: There are.
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: Friday, Wednesday....
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: Anyone else want to do this butt pivot, the tush push?
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: Obviously hope for a speedy recovery.
• 10:53
  Speaker 5: I will say it does raise serious questions.
• 10:57
  Speaker 10: You'd hate to see something like this happen, but it
• 10:59
  Speaker 10: just raised all these questions. We're all, of course, praying
• 11:02
  Speaker 10: for President Biden's full recovery, but the reality is.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: You know, I hope he gets over this, but.
• 11:10
  Speaker 10: Number one, very sorry for his diagnosis and wish him
• 11:13
  Speaker 10: the best.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: Number two.
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: I am trying to make a very serious point here.
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: And I find it very difficult to do that when
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: you throw in a totally weird-looking dude right in the
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: middle of this.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: That is not fair. That is not fair to do.
• 11:46
  Speaker 4: That is.
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: I don't know if that was like a green screen thing,
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: but whatever's happening here, I imagine if I had a
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: nodule on my prostate, this is what it might look like.
• 11:56
  Speaker 7: I believe it's.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: A little bit.
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: Why would you get the worst possible haircut for your
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: head shape?
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: Why would you do that? My head is long and thin.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: Amplify that.
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: Looks like I have a kosher hot dog asked for
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: a Hitler Youth haircut.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: Respectfully.
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: Yes, right-wing media deftly pivoted from concern to accusation.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: But perhaps the most.
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: Shocking response of all was from the commander in chief himself.
• 12:54
  Speaker 8: President Trump posted, Melania and I are saddened to hear
• 12:57
  Speaker 8: about Joe Biden's recent medical diagnosis. We extend our warmest
• 13:01
  Speaker 8: and best wishes to Jill and the family, and we
• 13:03
  Speaker 8: wish Joe a fast and successful recovery.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: That's it. No exclamation points. No all caps. No insults.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: Whole thing spelled correctly.
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: It's really got all the telltale signs of a post
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: definitely written by Donald Trump.
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm looking at this post. I swear
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: to God.
• 13:39
  Speaker 4: On True Social.
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: I wonder when they saw this post, True Social sent
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: him a security alert.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: They just sent him a quick message.
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: We noticed some suspicious humanity.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: On your account.
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: If this was, in fact, you, President Trump, please reply,
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: Nancy Pelosi's husband is gay.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: Just reply that.
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: The fact that Trump responded to Biden's diagnosis with the
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: most pro forma bare minimum chat GPT statement was so astonishing.
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: Even the corrupt, lamestream media gave Trump his props.
• 14:24
  Speaker 11: This is a very traditional comment in this moment from
• 14:28
  Speaker 11: President Trump to former President Biden.
• 14:31
  Speaker 10: I mean, it's a very human, very traditional response from
• 14:36
  Speaker 10: President Trump. I was very, very pleased to see President
• 14:38
  Speaker 10: Trump putting forward such a kind statement.
• 14:41
  Speaker 14: I will note, as an ardent Democrat, it's really important
• 14:44
  Speaker 14: that I speak up and thank President Trump for his
• 14:48
  Speaker 14: gracious statement today.
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: Couple of things. It is not important that you speak
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: up at all. As a Democrat, as anything, it is
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: not important.
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: What he did was not noteworthy and important. Has any president,
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: has any person ever had a lower bar to clear than,
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: I have.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: To salute the president, I.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: I have to salute the president. I certainly disagree with
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: him on many.
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: Things, but I have to applaud that after hearing this
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: devastating news about Joe Biden, that Donald did not take
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: cancer's side.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I'm f * * * ing swinging tonight. so
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: important as we as Americans.
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: And by the way, Trump maintained that level of gravitas
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: for almost an entire day. Do you want to respond
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: to President Biden being diagnosed with cancer?
• 16:02
  Speaker 11: I'm surprised that it wasn't, you know, the public wasn't
• 16:06
  Speaker 11: notified a long time ago because to get to stage nine,
• 16:09
  Speaker 11: that's a long time.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: To be fair, I do think.
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: If Biden was at stage nine, we should have found
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: out about that.
• 16:47
  Speaker 4: I don't... I don't even know.
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: And he's the one that's fine, right? There's no book
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: coming out on him. He's f * * * ing fine.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: He's... That'll be the next.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: Stage nine cancer.
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: That's the kind that grows up like an ivy into
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: a building. But you know what? Maybe it is another cover-up.
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: I don't f * * * ing know. If they
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: came out and said, yeah, Biden knew about it five
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: years ago, I wouldn't be shocked.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: If they came out and said Biden found out on.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: Friday, I wouldn't be shocked.
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: And I understand the excitement over an insidious Democratic cover-up
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: about Joe Biden's mental decline. The thing is, though, it
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: was a terrible cover-up. Because we all.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: F * * * ing knew.
• 17:41
  Speaker 4: All of us knew.
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: There was no cover-up.
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: Poll after poll showed vast majorities of the public thought
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: Biden was too old and too out of it to
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: run again. Dean Phillips mounted an entire primary campaign because
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: of it.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: I really don't know if that's Dean Phillips. Is that
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: Dean Phillips? My point is this.
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: There is a very real person in this shot.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: Probably named Dean Phillips.
• 18:20
  Speaker 4: Or Steve.
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: And he might be in the shot, but he, along
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: with most of the public, knew that it was a
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: bad idea for Biden to run.
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: We knew it.
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: And that's what's so hilarious about politicians.
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: The cover-up doesn't work when everyone knows you're lying. And
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: everyone knows you're lying because The tell is when you're
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: so over the top about what you don't want to
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: tell the truth about.
• 18:50
  Speaker 8: Joe Biden is incredibly competent and he's incredibly effective.
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: This is a man who is sharp, who is on
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: top of his game. He has more energy than I do.
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: He works us all under the table.
• 19:00
  Speaker 4: I can't even keep up with him.
• 19:01
  Speaker 12: Three hours on photo lines on three events a day,
• 19:06
  Speaker 12: then giving speeches.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: Are you kidding?
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: I mean, come on!
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: That's insane. Three hours on photo lines. Three events a day.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: That's nine hours.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: Of photo lines.
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: And then giving speeches. And then at night, fighting crime.
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: I have said too much.
• 19:30
  Speaker 11: Come on.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: I gotta f * * * ing.
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: Steroid test these dudes. Look, they used to say, it's
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: not the crime, it's the cover-up. But it's starting to
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: feel like politics is all cover-up.
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: Crime or not, in an attempt... To hold.
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: On to power, political actors do anything they can to
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: project a reality distortion field when all known evidence is
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: to the obvious contrary. And the media tasked with covering
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: them has somehow ended.
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: Up inside the bubble with them.
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: So for those of you watching at home who might
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: like to know what the reality of what they're hiding
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: about our current president would be, look not to the Democrats.
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: Look not to the media. Look to the president's.
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: Political allies because their hyperbole is the indictment.
• 20:33
  Speaker 4: Trump is one of the most transparent presidents of all time.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: The bravest, toughest man in the world. Enormous compassion. He's
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: only been bound to we, the people.
• 20:43
  Speaker 10: It's frankly ridiculous that anyone in this room would even
• 20:45
  Speaker 10: suggest that President Trump is doing anything for his own benefit.
• 20:49
  Speaker 5: Nobody believes that Donald Trump can be bought.
• 20:51
  Speaker 4: One of the most moral leaders we've had.
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: His pure honesty. The most ethical American I know.
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: Tapper's 2031 book, it's going to be lit.
• 21:04
  Speaker 4: Let's start with Kristi Noem, Secretary of Homeland Security and
• 21:08
  Speaker 4: one woman kill shelter. She's in charge of the country's
• 21:11
  Speaker 4: pathway to citizenship, which for hundreds of years has been
• 21:15
  Speaker 4: a solemn, dignified process for achieving the American dream. But
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: what if instead it was tacky and gross?
• 21:23
  Speaker 10: A surreal report that could turn immigration into a TV show.
• 21:26
  Speaker 10: The Trump administration says it's in the very beginning stages
• 21:29
  Speaker 10: of the vetting process for a reported immigrant reality TV
• 21:32
  Speaker 10: show where immigrants would compete to prove they are the
• 21:36
  Speaker 10: most American with a chance to win U.S.
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: Citizenship.
• 21:40
  Speaker 4: A reality TV show for citizenship is somehow the most
• 21:44
  Speaker 4: un-American and most American thing I've ever heard. Although we
• 21:48
  Speaker 4: already have a contest to prove who's the most American,
• 21:51
  Speaker 4: and it's called the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. What's
• 21:55
  Speaker 4: more American than eating until your colon explodes and then
• 21:59
  Speaker 4: going bankrupt for medical bills? But let me be clear,
• 22:03
  Speaker 4: I hate this idea. Unless they're looking for a host,
• 22:06
  Speaker 4: then I love this idea. And I'm available on Fridays. I.
• 22:13
  Speaker 4: I will say it might be a nicer way to
• 22:16
  Speaker 4: get deported. Instead of ICE agents disappearing you up in
• 22:20
  Speaker 4: unmarked vehicles, Ryan Seacrest walks into your living room with
• 22:23
  Speaker 4: a TV crew and is like, Carlos, we're taking you
• 22:30
  Speaker 4: out of the USA. But meanwhile, Kristi Noem was testifying
• 22:37
  Speaker 4: in Congress today about whether her administration is deporting people
• 22:40
  Speaker 4: without habeas corpus, which is their right to due process.
• 22:43
  Speaker 4: If you didn't know what habeas corpus was, don't worry.
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: Kristi Noem didn't Google it either.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: What is habeas corpus?
• 22:51
  Speaker 10: Well, habeas corpus is a constitutional right that the president
• 22:54
  Speaker 10: has to be able to remove people from this country
• 22:57
  Speaker 10: and suspend their right to.
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: Let me stop you, ma'am. Habeas corpus, excuse me, that's incorrect.
• 23:04
  Speaker 4: Okay, look, if Kristi Noem was just a random person
• 23:08
  Speaker 4: on the street, I'd get it if she was like,
• 23:10
  Speaker 4: Hapius Corpus? That's a Harry Potter spell, right? Makes you invisible?
• 23:18
  Speaker 4: But the Secretary of Homeland Security should know that Hapius
• 23:21
  Speaker 4: Corpus prevents the president from deporting you without due process.
• 23:26
  Speaker 4: Not that it lets the president deport you without due process.
• 23:29
  Speaker 4: That's the opposite. Of what it means. And I didn't
• 23:33
  Speaker 4: know you could have dyslexia for laws. Either way, Noam
• 23:38
  Speaker 4: whiffed hard on that question. But unfortunately for her, the
• 23:41
  Speaker 4: quiz was just beginning. Do you know what section of
• 23:44
  Speaker 4: the Constitution the suspension clause of habeas corpus is in?
• 23:47
  Speaker 6: I do not.
• 23:48
  Speaker 12: No.
• 23:48
  Speaker 4: Do you know which article it is in?
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: No, I do not, sir.
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: Okay, well, it is in Article 1. It was in one.
• 24:01
  Speaker 4: It was the first. You didn't even read the first one.
• 24:05
  Speaker 4: So can you stop? We get it, okay? Stop asking
• 24:08
  Speaker 4: her harder questions. Like, how would senators like it if
• 24:11
  Speaker 4: Kristi Noem asked you questions that she was an expert in, huh? Hey,
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: Senator Kim, do you know how to trick a puppy
• 24:18
  Speaker 4: into walking into an open grave? No? Not so smart now,
• 24:23
  Speaker 4: are you? Anyway, Kristi Noem, you still don't know the
• 24:27
  Speaker 4: basics of American law, so I'm sorry to say.
• 24:33
  Speaker 4: We're gonna have to take you out of USA. But luckily.
• 24:37
  Speaker 14: I know.
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: Won them back after the dog killing jokes. But luckily
• 24:53
  Speaker 4: for America, Christine Noem isn't the only one in charge
• 24:55
  Speaker 4: of keeping the country safe. We also got Kash Patel
• 24:58
  Speaker 4: and Dan Bongino, two guys who look like they should
• 25:02
  Speaker 4: be henchmen in a Ninja Turtles movie, but are somehow
• 25:06
  Speaker 4: running the FBI now. And before he took over, Dan
• 25:09
  Speaker 4: Bongino wasn't afraid to tell us the truth about what
• 25:12
  Speaker 4: the FBI was covering up.
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: Nobody knows how much material people have on Jeffrey Epstein.
• 25:20
  Speaker 4: It's unbelievable.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: The guy killed himself, and now nobody's going to know.
• 25:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly. Epstein killed himself. Bongino knows the truth. And
• 25:30
  Speaker 4: now he and Kash Patel get to see all the files.
• 25:35
  Speaker 4: So on Sunday, they sat down for an interview to
• 25:37
  Speaker 4: tell us what really happened. Because we know Epstein didn't
• 25:42
  Speaker 4: just kill himself.
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: He killed himself.
• 25:51
  Speaker 4: What? He killed himself without air quotes? That is the
• 25:59
  Speaker 4: craziest thing I've ever heard, all right? I was a
• 26:02
  Speaker 4: single-issue voter on this. Why did you change your mind?
• 26:05
  Speaker 11: As a public defender, as a prosecutor who's been in
• 26:07
  Speaker 11: that prison system, who's been in the Metropolitan Detention Center,
• 26:10
  Speaker 11: who's been in segregated housing, you know a suicide when
• 26:13
  Speaker 11: you see one, and that's what that was.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: Again, you want me to... I've seen the whole file.
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: He killed himself.
• 26:21
  Speaker 4: I've never seen someone so sad that the deep state
• 26:23
  Speaker 4: didn't kill someone. And also, hey, you can't talk so
• 26:27
  Speaker 4: much shit about how the deep state did this and
• 26:30
  Speaker 4: make it your entire personality, and then now you're in it,
• 26:33
  Speaker 4: and you're, like, just shrugging it off, like, oh, yeah,
• 26:35
  Speaker 4: I guess they were right the first time they investigated this. Hey,
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: if you fail that hard, you gotta let Hillary Clinton
• 26:41
  Speaker 4: kill you, right?
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: And finally.
• 26:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 26:50
  Speaker 4: I don't know what we're cheering for. And finally, let's
• 26:55
  Speaker 4: talk about the Department of Transportation. Recently, air travel in
• 26:59
  Speaker 4: America has become what's known in the industry as totally.
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: F * * * ed.
• 27:05
  Speaker 4: And I'm sure Secretary Sean Duffy has been working on
• 27:10
  Speaker 4: a great plan to fix it.
• 27:11
  Speaker 9: We are moving Jesus out of the basement.
• 27:18
  Speaker 12: What?
• 27:20
  Speaker 4: Well, is that the new air traffic controller? Because that's
• 27:25
  Speaker 4: what we need right now.
• 27:26
  Speaker 9: To all the great midshipmen at the Merchant Marine Academy,
• 27:29
  Speaker 9: you let me know how important this painting was to
• 27:31
  Speaker 9: all of you. Now, we all know it was taken
• 27:33
  Speaker 9: out of a place of prominence and put in down
• 27:35
  Speaker 9: in the basement. I worked with the Academy, and because
• 27:39
  Speaker 9: this is such a historic painting, I'm announcing that through
• 27:42
  Speaker 9: that work with the Academy, this painting is going to
• 27:45
  Speaker 9: go from the basement back to its place of prominence.
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: It'll be a moment.
• 27:51
  Speaker 9: to celebrate.
• 27:53
  Speaker 4: Oh, thank God.
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, no.
• 28:03
  Speaker 4: Thank God, because when my plane is going down, I
• 28:06
  Speaker 4: can tell the person next to me, don't worry, that's
• 28:09
  Speaker 4: a shitty Jesus painting. It's upstairs at the Merchant Marine
• 28:12
  Speaker 4: Academy now. Let's kick things off with President Trump's meeting
• 28:17
  Speaker 4: with the president of South Africa today. And because it's
• 28:19
  Speaker 4: Donald Trump, things got weird. Death, death, death, horrible death.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: Death.
• 28:31
  Speaker 4: I don't know. What a host. Death. Death.
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: Death.
• 28:39
  Speaker 4: Hey, do you want a Diet Coke? Death. Horrible death. That's... Now,
• 28:46
  Speaker 4: the reason Trump turned this White House event into a
• 28:49
  Speaker 4: murder podcast is that Trump is convinced that there is
• 28:52
  Speaker 4: a white genocide going on in South Africa, which, of course,
• 28:55
  Speaker 4: means there is no white genocide happening in South Africa.
• 28:59
  Speaker 4: It's not even mathematically possible. I mean, you'll never run
• 29:01
  Speaker 4: out of white South Africans when one of them is
• 29:03
  Speaker 4: making 5,000 kids a week.
• 29:04
  Speaker 14: But.
• 29:06
  Speaker 4: But still, Trump thinks there is one, and you know
• 29:09
  Speaker 4: he cares about it because he said white genocide. It's
• 29:12
  Speaker 4: like someone told him, hey, it's not just a genocide,
• 29:15
  Speaker 4: it's a white genocide, you know, the bad kind. And
• 29:18
  Speaker 4: Trump's like, oh shit, get him in! But don't worry,
• 29:22
  Speaker 4: South African president, there's a way out of this. Cutter
• 29:24
  Speaker 4: got Trump a plane. What sweet, sweet bribe did you
• 29:28
  Speaker 4: bring him?
• 29:28
  Speaker 6: I brought you a really fantastic golf book. Weighs 14 kilograms.
• 29:38
  Speaker 6: And it showcases the God courses in our country.
• 29:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you f * * * ed that up. You
• 29:45
  Speaker 4: lost Trump at book and you definitely lost him at kilograms.
• 29:52
  Speaker 4: If you really want to impress Trump, you should have
• 29:54
  Speaker 4: given him one of your golf courses. Then Trump would
• 29:57
  Speaker 4: be like, hell yeah. Sorry, white South Africans, if that's
• 30:00
  Speaker 4: even a real thing. Thoughts and prayers. Let's move on
• 30:05
  Speaker 4: from a fake international crisis to a real domestic one.
• 30:08
  Speaker 4: If you bought any Trump merchandise, I don't want to
• 30:11
  Speaker 4: surprise you, but it might be a piece of junk.
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: Trump time.
• 30:15
  Speaker 4: A mistake on a Donald Trump keepsake might be funny
• 30:18
  Speaker 4: to some.
• 30:19
  Speaker 12: But it wasn't a laughing matter for the couple who
• 30:21
  Speaker 12: paid more than $ 600 for the Trump-branded watch.
• 30:24
  Speaker 4: Get your Trump watch right now. Go to GetTrumpWatches.com.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: It's Trump time.
• 30:31
  Speaker 14: Melanie Pettit likes the style, but it's what this watch
• 30:34
  Speaker 14: does not have that makes it stand out.
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: I noticed it right away.
• 30:38
  Speaker 4: The T is missing. It just says R-U-N-P.
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: So it should say Trump.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: Should say Trump.
• 30:44
  Speaker 4: Instead. It says Rump. What a shocking story. I mean, truly,
• 30:53
  Speaker 4: I did not expect them to be able to read.
• 30:55
  Speaker 4: And you might be thinking, what kind of respectable horological
• 31:00
  Speaker 4: craftsmen of luxury timepieces would allow this to happen? Well,
• 31:04
  Speaker 4: it turns out, watchers might just be their side business.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: New eye-popping details about Donald Trump's watches. And there's a
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: link to Viagra honey.
• 31:14
  Speaker 14: This is a product that is born out of a
• 31:16
  Speaker 14: licensing agreement with a company called the Best Watches on
• 31:21
  Speaker 14: Earth LLC. There is another company at this business registered
• 31:26
  Speaker 14: at the same address called the Best Honey on Earth.
• 31:30
  Speaker 14: They sell male enhancement honey.
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: Which is exactly what it sounds like.
• 31:35
  Speaker 14: It is a product that helps men perform in the bedroom.
• 31:39
  Speaker 4: Wait, everyone, shut up. Stop laughing. That's boner honey? This
• 31:49
  Speaker 4: changes everything. I mean, I guess this does explain why
• 31:54
  Speaker 4: that honey I bought looks so weird, but, um... You know,
• 31:59
  Speaker 4: Trump's going to be bathing in that, like, the barren
• 32:01
  Speaker 4: and dune, but I... I just hope that those watches
• 32:05
  Speaker 4: have like a little warning label on them like you
• 32:07
  Speaker 4: do for people with nut allergies. Like, warning, this watch
• 32:10
  Speaker 4: was manufactured in a plant that also processes f *
• 32:13
  Speaker 4: * * honey. The point is, when Donald Trump sells
• 32:17
  Speaker 4: you something, you gotta be skeptical. And I'm so glad
• 32:20
  Speaker 4: we all learned our lesson. On an unrelated note, Donald
• 32:24
  Speaker 4: Trump's got something new to sell us.
• 32:26
  Speaker 15: This morning, President Trump revealing his plans for a Golden Dome,
• 32:29
  Speaker 15: a defense system designed to shield the U.S.
• 32:32
  Speaker 14: From missile attacks.
• 32:33
  Speaker 5: The Golden Dome will be capable of intercepting missiles even
• 32:37
  Speaker 5: if they are launched from other sides.
• 32:39
  Speaker 4: Of the world and even if they are launched from space.
• 32:42
  Speaker 15: The Congressional Budget Office says it could cost up to
• 32:45
  Speaker 15: $ 542 billion.
• 32:48
  Speaker 4: Good news, everyone. Congress is cutting food stamps, but we're
• 32:51
  Speaker 4: getting a Golden Dome.
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 32:54
  Speaker 4: If you're hungry, maybe you can try eating it. Quick question, though.
• 32:59
  Speaker 4: Where did Trump come up with Golden Dome?
• 33:01
  Speaker 15: The president has long praised Israel's Iron Dome, which can
• 33:05
  Speaker 15: intercept and destroy short-range rockets, missiles, and drones.
• 33:08
  Speaker 4: We're going to call it the Golden Dome. We had
• 33:10
  Speaker 4: the Iron Dome, but somehow Golden Dome sounds better to me.
• 33:16
  Speaker 4: You know, it takes a special leader to look at
• 33:18
  Speaker 4: what's going on in Israel and be like, hey, we
• 33:20
  Speaker 4: need to copy those guys, all right? Because it's going great.
• 33:23
  Speaker 4: Second of all, I don't think missile defense shields work
• 33:26
  Speaker 4: like frequent flyer programs, all right? Hey, check it out.
• 33:30
  Speaker 4: Our dome just earned gold status. I hope China doesn't
• 33:34
  Speaker 4: get a platinum dome. Then they get lounge access. And
• 33:37
  Speaker 4: by the way, the poster board he put up just
• 33:39
  Speaker 4: raises even more questions. Like, why is every country launching
• 33:42
  Speaker 4: missiles at us? Starting to look like a us problem.
• 33:48
  Speaker 4: But you know what? I guess the money is worth
• 33:50
  Speaker 4: it if it's capable of defending all of America. A
• 33:54
  Speaker 4: missile shield in the U.S.
• 33:55
  Speaker 15: Will not be capable of defending all of America.
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: I'm a missile defense guy, but it's never going to
• 33:59
  Speaker 3: be possible to defend against everything.
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: And so we are going to have to be selective.
• 34:07
  Speaker 4: Gonna have to be selective like what we're gonna do
• 34:10
  Speaker 4: like what just save new york and la and what
• 34:14
  Speaker 4: the states of good barbecue actually yeah yeah that works
• 34:19
  Speaker 4: yeah let's let's go with that the bottom line is
• 34:23
  Speaker 4: it's incredibly expensive and it doesn't work but at least
• 34:25
  Speaker 4: we'll have a golden dome that says trump on it
• 34:28
  Speaker 4: off So last night, House Republicans packed their entire agenda
• 34:33
  Speaker 4: into one enormous bill that's over 1,000 pages long. The
• 34:37
  Speaker 4: question is, what do you call an enormous bill that
• 34:40
  Speaker 4: crams together every single Republican issue?
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: One big, beautiful bill. I'd like to name it that
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: if you can.
• 34:52
  Speaker 4: Really? Big, beautiful bill? That's the best you could come
• 34:56
  Speaker 4: up with? It's a stupid name. Okay, also, that's what
• 34:58
  Speaker 4: Jordan Hudson calls Bill Belichick. The point is, nobody is
• 35:06
  Speaker 4: going to go along with that.
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: President Trump's so-called big, beautiful bill.
• 35:10
  Speaker 4: One big, beautiful bill. Trump's big, beautiful bill.
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: Mein Gott, I guess they are going to go along
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: with it.
• 35:15
  Speaker 4: It's a big, beautiful bill.
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: The BBB.
• 35:27
  Speaker 4: Although it is reminding some people of something else.
• 35:31
  Speaker 14: Even if you're getting excitement from Capitol Hill and the
• 35:35
  Speaker 14: White House over the BBL, the big, beautiful bill.
• 35:40
  Speaker 13: Sorry.
• 35:43
  Speaker 4: Share your screen right now. Right now, share it or
• 35:48
  Speaker 4: this interview is over. I love how flustered he got
• 35:53
  Speaker 4: after that. It's the BBL. Oh, sorry, sorry. I mean butts.
• 35:57
  Speaker 4: I mean big juicy asses. Now, for those who don't know,
• 36:04
  Speaker 4: a BBL stands for Brazilian Butt Lift. It is a
• 36:13
  Speaker 4: procedure that some women get to enlarge their posteriors and
• 36:18
  Speaker 4: it's quite popular with Instagram ass models or so I'm told.
• 36:25
  Speaker 4: I wouldn't know because my For You page is nothing
• 36:28
  Speaker 4: but photos of my beautiful wife. I love you, baby.
• 36:32
  Speaker 4: I would never follow 17 female golfers with huge asses online.
• 36:38
  Speaker 4: This is the one show this year my wife actually
• 36:41
  Speaker 4: came to. She's She's watching this right now. But after
• 36:47
  Speaker 4: months of negotiating last night, Republicans stayed up all night
• 36:50
  Speaker 4: and passed the big beautiful bill. And maybe BBL was
• 36:53
  Speaker 4: a better name because this bill is thick and mostly ass.
• 36:58
  Speaker 4: Here's what's in it.
• 36:59
  Speaker 10: It extends the president's signature 2017.
• 37:01
  Speaker 4: Tax cuts and that's at a cost of about $ 4 trillion.
• 37:05
  Speaker 10: And that's paid for in part by nearly $ 700 billion
• 37:09
  Speaker 10: in cuts to Medicaid, that health care program for those
• 37:12
  Speaker 10: on the lower end of the income scale.
• 37:14
  Speaker 14: It also comes with cuts to social safety nets, like
• 37:18
  Speaker 14: food stamps.
• 37:20
  Speaker 4: Wow, cutting healthcare and food stamps to pay for tax cuts.
• 37:22
  Speaker 4: I mean, the only way this could be more cartoonishly
• 37:25
  Speaker 4: mean to poor people is if it said Bob Cratchit
• 37:27
  Speaker 4: has to work on Christmas Day. He's just a frog.
• 37:31
  Speaker 4: Why does he have to work at all? But this
• 37:37
  Speaker 4: vote was very controversial, even among Republicans who didn't like
• 37:41
  Speaker 4: how he increased the debt by $ 4 trillion. Do you
• 37:44
  Speaker 4: realize how much money $ 4 trillion is? No, you don't,
• 37:47
  Speaker 4: because none of it went to education. The point is,
• 37:52
  Speaker 4: some Republicans were resisting this bill. So to get it passed,
• 37:55
  Speaker 4: Donald Trump needed to use all of his political powers
• 37:58
  Speaker 4: of persuasion.
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: Trump made the rare journey to the Hill.
• 38:01
  Speaker 8: The meeting was housed Republicans behind closed doors for 90
• 38:04
  Speaker 8: minutes for what he says was just a pep talk.
• 38:07
  Speaker 10: He called out members by name. He threw the F-bomb around.
• 38:10
  Speaker 13: I have seen time and time again, they're dragged out
• 38:14
  Speaker 13: of the House floor and back into the Republican members' cloakroom,
• 38:18
  Speaker 13: and they're handed a cell phone, and it's Donald Trump
• 38:20
  Speaker 13: literally yelling at them and cursing at them.
• 38:23
  Speaker 4: Politics used to be deals and handshakes and pass my
• 38:26
  Speaker 4: bill and I'll do something for you. Now Trump is
• 38:29
  Speaker 4: just like, pass my bill or I'll kill you. I'll
• 38:32
  Speaker 4: kill you and I'll date your wife. But look, the
• 38:35
  Speaker 4: bill isn't just about taking health care from poor people
• 38:37
  Speaker 4: to give rich people tax cuts. I'm sure there's something
• 38:40
  Speaker 4: in there for the rest of you. Some provisions tucked
• 38:44
  Speaker 4: into the bill.
• 38:45
  Speaker 11: One of them eliminates the $ 200 firearm registration fee for
• 38:50
  Speaker 11: gun silencers.
• 38:54
  Speaker 4: Yeah, let's see. That was added by Rhode Island representative
• 39:01
  Speaker 4: John Wick. What's the benefit of making it slightly cheaper
• 39:09
  Speaker 4: to buy silencers? I mean, is there an assassin out
• 39:11
  Speaker 4: there who's like, hey, I got my shot lined up,
• 39:14
  Speaker 4: but first let me call my accountant to see how
• 39:16
  Speaker 4: this affects my deductions. I mean, maybe it's better if
• 39:20
  Speaker 4: silencers are more affordable. Now when a mass shooter is
• 39:23
  Speaker 4: going through a classroom, the other classrooms can keep learning.
• 39:27
  Speaker 4: As you can imagine, though, Democrats are not fanatics. of
• 39:30
  Speaker 4: the big beautiful bill, and they're ready to roast it
• 39:33
  Speaker 4: with some slam poetry. It is not one big beautiful bill.
• 39:38
  Speaker 13: It's a big billionaire's bankroll bill.
• 39:42
  Speaker 3: It's a big disgraceful betrayal of the American people.
• 39:45
  Speaker 4: This bill is brutal.
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: It is not.
• 39:47
  Speaker 4: Beautiful. I just don't see what Republicans find beautiful about
• 39:50
  Speaker 4: this ugly bill.
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: It's not beautiful, it's ugly.
• 39:53
  Speaker 4: It has wrinkles, warts, festering sores, and scars. Okay, we
• 40:00
  Speaker 4: get it, but that's a little too specific. Sounds like
• 40:05
  Speaker 4: you're describing something personal. This bill is gross and weird
• 40:09
  Speaker 4: and has a mole with hair growing out of it
• 40:11
  Speaker 4: and it's changing color. I'm talking about the bill. But
• 40:14
  Speaker 4: should they see a doctor? Should they see a doctor,
• 40:17
  Speaker 4: just hypothetically speaking?