Latest / Harder Than Life / 120: The Universe is Hiring w/ Anniston Blair Riekstins

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120: The Universe is Hiring w/ Anniston Blair Riekstins · Harder Than Life

• 0:07
  I'm Kelly Siegel, and this is Harder Than Life, a podcast about self-love, self-awareness, business, and health. We tell outrageous stories and boil everything down to simple, practical advice you can start using today. Let's get living. Welcome back to the Harder Than Life podcast. Today, I'm beyond excited and deeply honored to welcome not just an extraordinary guest, but someone I consider family. Aniston Ricksteins is a high-performance coach.
• 0:34
  spiritual teacher, motivational speaker, and now an incredible author. Her new book, The Universe is Hiring, is a transformational guide that I know will change lives.
• 0:44
  I've had the privilege of not only witnessing Aniston's brilliance, but also sharing personal moments with her and her beautiful family. Sitting down for dinner with her, Rudy, and their kids, I've seen firsthand the love, intention, and purpose she pours into every aspect of her life. Aniston, I couldn't be more proud of this monumental accomplishment, and I can't wait to dive deep into this book and all the wisdom you share with the world. So let's get at it. Welcome to the podcast.
• 1:12
  Thank you so much, Kelly. What an intro. I love you too. And you are a part of our family as well. And so this is a really special moment. I feel like we've been talking about this for months, but it's finally here. And so I'm just honored to be here. Well, I read the book in three days and I want to read it again because every time I read it,
• 1:37
  You know what I love about it most? I know the backstory. You've written several books, but never have made it to publication. So let's start off with the universe is hiring such a captivating title. What inspired you to write this book and how does it reflect on your personal journey and why this book and not the other eight, I think that you've written? Well,
• 1:57
  All very good questions. Well, what inspired me to write The Universe is Hiring. Well, first of all, the idea, the actual idea for the book, the title for the book is something that I received. I was in a meditation. It was in 2020. Yeah.
• 2:16
  And it was like, all of a sudden I just saw the book. I saw the book in my mind. I saw the cover. I saw the title. I saw the outline and it was, I just was kind of floored. And I was like, well, this is cool. And at first I thought, I was like, maybe this is like, I don't know, a cool social media post or something just because I thought it was so timely, you know, in the, in that time it was about, it was COVID. Right. So everyone was looking for their, their next job or what was going to be happening. And, and, um, yeah.
• 2:45
  And then I showed it to Rudy and he was like, no, no, that is a book. And I was like, no, you're right. This is a book. And I think for me, the reason why this book really stuck with me is because it really represents what my journey has been. And, you know, I think we always teach what we had most needed to learn. Right. And for me, a lot of my journey has been this journey of coming into a.
• 3:15
  you know, embodying my purpose and being in that place of knowing what I'm here to do and allowing that to guide my life and guide my decisions. And that was a really big shift for me. It was a different approach to living life. And it was really where I moved from just surviving to a place of thriving in life. And I think those are two very different ways to live life. Yeah.
• 3:41
  And I don't often know that people realize it's a choice that they get to make. And so I also have a lot of very successful friends and female friends that I spend summers hanging out with. And I cannot tell you how many times and how many conversations I would be in where they would say, you know, I have the job title, I have the marriage, I have the house, I have the kids. And I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm
• 4:06
  And I don't know why I still feel so lost. Like, I don't know why I still feel so unfulfilled. And I knew I needed to write this book because this is really an opportunity for me to share not only my story and the journey that I've followed to, to,
• 4:26
  being in a fulfilled place in my life and a successful one, but also that I've shared with so many and that they've been able to benefit from. So it's really my gift. This book is available pre-order, pre-sale right now on Amazon, correct? Yeah.
• 4:45
  This is going to air on January, I'm sorry, December 31st. So just before the new year, I highly recommend you pre-order the book right now. We'll have these links in the show notes. I am going to, I took copious notes and we're going to,
• 5:00
  I'm going to try to bounce around and not give away too much, but it was so good. And I totally understood why when I first met you. I'd obviously known Rudy. I came to your home and I sat down and then you came home late and you sat down and dominated the conversation. And now that I read this book, I understand why. And all I could say the whole time was I just kept feeling pulled to you and I'm
• 5:24
  This spoke to me very, there was no coincidence that I read this book when I read it and that you sent it to me and thank you. And for those of you watching on YouTube, it's out in front of me. This was an absolute page turn. I'm not kidding you. I read it in three days, probably about a little over three hours and I'm not a fast reader. It was just such a page turner and my daughter wants to read it and I give it to her and she's going to start reading it. So purpose fills your inner cup. As you say on page three, literally, this is how quick I start taking notes. Page three.
• 5:52
  How can someone recognize when their cup is truly full and what are the signs that they've aligned with their purpose?
• 6:01
  someone can recognize when their cup is full because they feel, feel full. And what I mean by that is like, it's sometimes it's easier, I think, to recognize when your cup is not full. And it's just, there are some people that'll be able to relate more to that, which is this feeling of being low in energy and,
• 6:23
  feeling lethargic, like having a hard time getting yourself motivated to move towards any, anything, any one thing or, or staying committed to a goal. Um, it can feel like depression. It can feel like being just completely out of sorts, like feeling like I'm just not myself. When your cup is full, it's when you have spent time with,
• 6:47
  I would say doing the things that light you up from the inside, right? From the inside out. It's not something that you can necessarily go out and purchase that you can go ahead, that you can do outside of yourself. It really is about attuning to the things that light you up
• 7:03
  that make you feel good, that give you energy in the process of doing them. Doesn't mean that it's not work, but there's a very, but the output is different. How you feel after doing it is different. And if you can start to live your life doing those things that fill you up, then your cup will perpetually be running over.
• 7:25
  And you will not be looking to other people to make you happy and give you that feeling. You will no longer expect your job to give you that. It will be something that you create on your own because you're so aligned and in tune with doing those things that you were born to do. Does that answer the question?
• 7:43
  It does. It's funny because I like where you were going and I wish we would have kept going on that about it's easier to tell people what isn't filling their cut, what it feels like. And what I think, because I've been there and I would argue with you till you blew in the face and, oh, I'm living a great life. Everything's good. But I was just existing.
• 8:04
  and it's on the proverbial hamster wheel. Or the merry-go-round, life's a merry-go-round. You go round, round, round, and all you do is throw up. And that's literally how I felt. I just wanted to throw up all the time. And now I'm going to tell you, life is much harder, but it's much more fulfilling. I wake up every day excited about everything,
• 8:24
  what I'm going to learn, who I'm going to talk to. We're coming at the end of the year, and I'm reflecting upon my whole entire year and all the amazing people I met. Heck, I didn't know you at the beginning of the year. And now I've got two new family members that are just fantastic. And I just...
• 8:41
  There's so much more in this world. And when you read this book, it really that's what I took away from it. It's everything you have that you require you have with from within. And she gives you all these tips and pointers on how to look inside to get everything you need. But you use some amazing quotes you referenced. Again, I'm going to deep into some of these. I'm going to steal some of your things. You reference Wayne Dyer's quote about making peace with your past. This is on page 12.
• 9:09
  And this is what I'm talking about. I didn't make peace with my past. So I would just stay on that merry-go-round. And this is what I think a lot of people deal with. So what advice do you have for someone struggling to let go of the past? And how does that show up in your present? Besides what I just said about being on the merry-go-round, put those in Aniston's words because you're so much more eloquent about it.
• 9:33
  Oh, gosh. Well, it's such a good question and a really, really good call out because, again, if you only read this one chapter, right, if you just read this one chapter and you actually think about it, apply the information, it will radically shift your life and the way that you show up.
• 9:51
  Because I believe that everything always starts with taking accountability. If you're not willing to take 100% accountability for who you are, the life that you're in, all the moments that have gotten you to where you are today, if you're not willing to say, you know what, I'm 100% raising my hand and claiming all of those things.
• 10:10
  then you'll never be able to truly feel like you're able to create your life. You're either a victim or you're a victor. And I think that when we look back on our past, as it relates to your question, and that is one of my all-time favorite quotes by Dr. Wayne Dyer, who was a great spiritual mentor for me,
• 10:29
  And for Rudy, you know, what you don't resolve in your past will continue to show up in your present. And how that works is, is when you look at the patterns in your life. So let's say for an example, Kelly, like there's a relationship, you know, so they say there was a really tough relationship for you.
• 10:48
  when you were young and maybe that relationship made you feel really disempowered. And rather than fully resolve it, you walked away from that situation. And yes, maybe you moved on with your life. But when you think about that situation, you still kind of have that yucky feeling or that bitterness or resentment or that, well, I showed that person, right?
• 11:11
  Well, if you still have emotion around it, that means you still have energy around it. And if you still have energy around it, it means it's still in your field, right? It's still hanging out. And what that's going to do is energy wants to be resolved. Anything that's stuck wants to become unstuck. And so what I believe and what my experience has been is that that same problem is going to show up in a different costume.
• 11:33
  OK, so the person who was the tough one for you when you were young, maybe it's going to show up as your boss or as your co-worker or as a partner or as a child. I mean, who knows? But it will. Because in my opinion, I think we are we are in a perfect universe, right, where everything is always happening for us to give us opportunities to learn more.
• 11:57
  whatever we came here to learn and we can resist it our entire lives, but what we can't do is escape it. So the way out of this, the way out of the matrix is if you will, is to start to look at your life's experiences and your past life experiences, instead of blaming and using excuses and complaining and pointing the finger outward saying, okay, okay,
• 12:20
  why is this in my life story? What was I meant to learn from this? And then start to shift and revise that story you're telling so that it's an empowered one. And that you can say, you know what? I don't have to like what happened, but I do have to learn from it, right? I do have to see purpose in it. And in doing that, you become free of it. That is the freedom from the prison that you don't know that you're in.
• 12:49
  I know why this is literally describing how I came up with heart of the life. So what, what I took away from what you just said is like, cause it's so true. It happened in my life. It's, it's,
• 12:59
  What you don't learn, the universe, God, source, whatever it is, is going to keep showing it to you until you at least ask the question. And you asked a why question. I'm a big what question person. You said why, and then you went what. What is this trying to teach me is all you're going to say. And it keeps showing up because that's the law of energy. That's exactly how it works. So if you keep meeting, in my case, bad toxic partners, right?
• 13:27
  It's because the universe is trying to teach you you have to heal from something. And that's what she just said. And then when you start healing, an odd thing happens. And I'm going to get your opinion on this because we're up to page 19 now. And you start getting angry at yourself because you, well, you know,
• 13:42
  I should have known better. And you didn't know better. So I said, you talk about doing the best until you can, or the best you can until you know better. How has this principle shaped your personal growth and how can readers embrace it without being too hard on themselves? Like I was, man, I just, woo, if I said out loud the things that I say to myself, and then I, the processes of forgiving and then releasing, but explain in your words.
• 14:08
  You know, I think that the easiest way to explain it that makes sense to me is, is we all have, we all have our own unique curriculum, right? That we are gifted with, um, when we're born and that our life is an unfolding of that curriculum. It'd be like saying, Kelly, um, yeah.
• 14:31
  that you're in first grade and then you're mad at yourself because when you were in first grade, you didn't know the lesson that you were gonna learn when you were in 12th grade or a senior in high school. You know what I mean? It sounds so simplistic, but we don't do it. But it's because, and kind of back, it's interesting. I recently did a training on this very topic
• 14:51
  And in the last part of that training, and we were talking about, what I was talking about is how to really move out of victimhood and really, and truly let go and release something so that it's no longer showing up in your past. But that the final step, and this is the one that we often miss,
• 15:08
  is this idea of being able to forgive ourselves and to let go of those things that we hold over us. Because even like research shows, even people that were victims of the worst kind of traumas that you can imagine, they had an easier time
• 15:30
  forgiving people that the perpetrators, then they did have forgiving themselves and their part in it. That's what you've heard my story. That's exactly. I could forgive my parents all day long. I cannot forgive myself for making one little mistake. I'm tough, but I can now, but I've done a lot of work, taken a lot of work.
• 15:50
  Right, because it's conditioned, right? And some of us, most of us, I would say the majority of us have a really crappy relationship or idea or belief system around failure and around mistakes and what that means, what we make that mean about ourselves. And I think that if you can instead start to perceive yourself as the student that you are and...
• 16:10
  and that you are constantly learning and growing. And you even said in the beginning of the podcast, Kelly, you were like, you know, I'm going to go back and read this book because I know I'm going to learn something different that time. You want to know why? Because the you that will read it, even though it might just be days in between, is not the same person, not the same consciousness that read it the first time, which is why you can read a book over and over and over again or see a movie several times and be like, how did I not notice that? It's because you weren't available to it yet.
• 16:36
  Your awareness, your consciousness wasn't ready and you can't force it. Same reason why you can't look at your partner and judge them because they just don't get it. Like where you are maybe spiritually or where you are on your learning journey is going to be different than where they are. And you cannot rush somebody else's. You just have to be, you have to see, see your journey as your unique journey unfolding at the right time and the right way. And that when it's time for you to know, you will know.
• 17:05
  So my most favorite part of the book is on page 45. It's a video game metaphor that you use. Again, I'm dancing around the book.
• 17:16
  because I want people to go buy it. But some of this is so good. I had to just deep dive. So use the video game metaphor. And it's extremely vivid to me because we are learning. And if you think about how we used to play video games, you master the first level and then you master the second and you keep going up. So can you explain how leveling up in life is like progressing in video game and how the mindset can help someone overcome challenges?
• 17:40
  Sure. So I think that we oftentimes want, we look ahead or we see people who, for instance, maybe they're living the life that we desire or they've achieved the things that we want to achieve or we think we need to be farther in life in a certain way.
• 17:56
  and we look for the quick fix. We think, okay, well, if I could just like skip out all the middle part and just get to the part where I'm at the place I want to be, then life would be so much better and easier. But the thing is, you know, in every moment, you're always being qualified, and there's something for you to learn that you're going to need to use at your next level, which is why I like the video game analogy. I grew up, you know, with like the old school Nintendo. I don't know if you played Kelly, but I literally had like the original Mario Brothers.
• 18:26
  Mario and Luigi and Contra and something really old school games. And it always made sense to me that, you know, that first level, I was always like, okay, you would try the first level and you would fail and you would try it and you would fail. But eventually you would get it right. Right. But then you would go on to the second level and the second level had a whole other new set of challenges. However, you needed to use what you learned in the first level, right? In order to even have a shot at the second level.
• 18:52
  So to skip ahead really was a waste of time because you weren't ready, right? You didn't have the knowledge to be able to make it through anyway. So you wound up reverting back to the level that you were on. And so I just think it's a good metaphor for life because we get so impatient and we judge ourselves. We judge where we are. We, we make where we are, are wrong. Right.
• 19:11
  We think we're late to the party. We've missed out on the opportunity. Instead of seeing where we are and trusting that like, I'm here because I'm being qualified for the next level. And I don't know what that's going to look like. All I know is that I need to be learning what I'm learning right now.
• 19:27
  it might be the best. I've read a lot of books in my day and that might be the best metaphor I've ever heard. Cause it is absolutely true. And if you think about it, I'll go back to the Mario brothers. You could hit the B button and race through, and then you'd eventually fall down one of the, one of the holes or land jump in air, but then you do it the next time and you change. And that's how life that literally is a perfect metaphor is instead of speeding through life, let me go nice and slow, jump on these turtles, grab these fricking mushrooms and,
• 19:55
  And really experience and enjoy. Because what are you trying to do? You're just trying to kill time anyways by playing a video game. So why are you in such a hurry? And if you skip from level one all the way to level eight, you wouldn't learn anything. And if you beat it, you'd be like, oh, this is boring. And you wouldn't play it again. So that was...
• 20:13
  one of the best metaphors I've ever heard in any book ever. So kudos to you for thinking of it. I'm not surprised. I do want to back up a little bit. And I kept, first of all, I am sick as a dog. So I apologize for not being as sharp as normal. I wasn't going to miss this for the world. I flew on a plane. I flew next to a lady who was coughing. So I am not as witty as I normally am. So I had to write this down. You keep saying victim.
• 20:41
  And that has a real negative connotation to it. But I would tell you that if you're not feeling, if you're not a victor, if you're not winning, you are a victim. And it masks itself.
• 20:54
  And can you deep, can you extrapolate that a little more? Because someone could be existing in life and not making a change or anything. And just on that life's merry-go-round. Because what I want to talk to is that most of the people, they think, hey, I'm a housewife. I'm happy. I know there's something more. They don't feel like a victim. Because the second we say victim, oh, no, no, no, no, that's not me.
• 21:21
  but how can we talk to it? Cause there's a lot of people that are choosing this and that's choosing this whole home life. And that's the reason why I say this, I'm watching and I don't know what it is right now, but I'm really tuned into the universe and I'm watching everybody and I feel everything. I'm just, and I can feel victim mentality. I see it like plain as day and I want to help, but until they're ready and, and the first thing is just, just do they even know?
• 21:52
  What would be a better word for the term victim? Because it's obviously if you're being perpetrated against, like my parents were abusive to me. I was a victim.
• 22:01
  But I then carried on that victim mentality for years. And I would have argued with you for 10 years. I'm living the best life ever. I party. I party with rock stars. I travel all over the world. How am I a victim? But I was. I was a victim of my youth. I was still in that. Can you extrapolate that for the people that just listen to the podcast? They're like, what is she talking about? I'm not a victim. I live a great life.
• 22:23
  Yeah. I mean, listen, it is a really great, important question. And I think it's something that is relevant to every single human on the planet, because I believe, and we're only ever a victim to our perceptions, right?
• 22:42
  we're really truly only ever a victim to our attitude and our mindset and how we choose to perceive life that is happening moment by moment by moment. Because you can think about one situation. I mean, let's just simplify this really quickly. Okay. So the person who, you know, walks outside and it's raining, right?
• 23:07
  Okay. It's neutral. What's happening outside of you is neutral, right? It's just, it's rain. Water is pouring from the sky. And that is that until you assign a judgment to it, the judgment is going to determine whether you are a victim in this situation.
• 23:23
  And this is happening to you. This is ruining your day. This is not what you would imagine. You know what I mean? Eventually, like that's what our minds will do, right? Is it takes a thread and it starts to pull. And if you're used to viewing the world that way, that will become your dominant narrative. Your dominant habit will be to look for how is this happening to me?
• 23:45
  And what does this mean? And why is it bad? Or you can walk outside and be like, huh, it's raining. Cool. Okay. Like, this is amazing. And trust that it's happening exactly as it needs to be happening. And I think that that is...
• 24:00
  What causes the suffering is ourselves always. You know what I mean? We think it's other people, but there is a reality where even though maybe you didn't have the big T trauma happen, I would argue we've all had trauma. Every single one of us has had trauma because of the ways that we have perceived our life.
• 24:21
  Someone could have said one mean thing to you, and that's a trauma. That becomes a trauma for you. And it becomes something that then you create your life around and it becomes a part of your belief system and it has these really negative effects. And that's essentially trauma, right? The only way out of that is to then start, like you said, start asking better questions and start to look for...
• 24:43
  How did that serve me and my growth, right? How did it serve me? And maybe I didn't consciously choose it, but I believe, and this is my spiritual belief, and I certainly allow every single person to have their own belief, but I believe we came here to learn. I believe we didn't consciously choose a lot of the things that happened to us, but that in essence, they were perfect for what we needed. I believe that the people that are in our lives are not there by accident, right?
• 25:11
  And I believe that there is a perfection in the universe and that, that you can call it God, you can call it source, you can call it whatever that, that serves for you, but that you have to start looking at life through a wider lens. And if you, if this whole victim mentality where...
• 25:29
  that the things are being taken from you or, or the people that are like, I'm a victor in my life. But then when they, there's one area of their life that they're like, except for this area, it's all or nothing. I believe it's all or nothing. You cannot, you cannot be a victim in your relationships and, and, and not be a victim every, in every other room and every other place. Because as you show up, it becomes a part of the lens that you look at through the world. And if that's how you identify in any area in your life, it's how you identify in every area
• 26:01
  While you were talking, I wrote down the word peace. It's having inner peace. That's how you know that you're not a victim. And I'm going to, after we're done talking about the book, I'm going to summarize it because we got more questions about it. But it's, you feel purposeful. You feel your cup is full. You honor your purpose commitments. You're learning. And I would add it serving, learning and serving. Those kind of go together. Yeah.
• 26:30
  You understand your thoughts and that and your emotions. These are all things we're going to go over. So let's deep dive into this a little bit more because I talked about purpose commitments. What you talk about them. What are they and how can the listeners create their own to stay aligned with their goals and purposes? So purpose commitments. That was very interesting. I like those.
• 26:50
  purpose commitment. So I, um, I would love to say I came up with that, but I didn't. I think it was Jack Canfield that I, he wrote a book that was incredible. And this is an exercise that he would do with his, um, his groups. And I always found them to be so, um, I don't, I just, to me, it was like a revolutionary idea. And here's why, because I think our tendency is,
• 27:14
  is to want to say that our purpose is a title. Like to say, my purpose is to be a doctor. You know what I mean? My purpose is to be a coach. My purpose is to be a vice president of an organization. And the thing is, that can't be true because what if you leave that job? Are you now purposeless? And I think it's because we have this wanting to define something, to make something tangible that just isn't tangible.
• 27:42
  And instead of doing the work to really align with like, okay,
• 27:47
  who am I? Like, what are my gifts? What, what lights me up? What do I uniquely do well, right? So well that I assume everyone else can do it because it feels so easy and natural to me. What do people come to me for advice, you know, for, or what can I not stop talking about or want to do for free? Like there's so much information there. And then when you can take, so what are
• 28:14
  I love to teach. So for me, and I'll use my purpose statement as an example, I spend a lot of time really crafting my purpose statement and really getting clear on what is it that I ultimately feel like I am here to do
• 28:29
  And what qualities do I want to embody, right? So for me, my purpose statement is I am a powerful, authentic, inspiring leader who opens hearts and minds with her words and reminds people of their limitless nature.
• 28:52
  So the beautiful thing about that statement, Kelly, is that I can do that in a lot of different ways, right? I do that when I show up on my podcast. I can do that when I'm writing my books, right? Because I'm sharing my words. I do that when I'm showing up and leading a team, when I'm giving a training, when I'm having a conversation with a woman at the grocery store. Like I get to be that. I get to embody that statement wherever I go. And that is my North Star. Like if an opportunity comes to me, I say, okay, well, would this opportunity allow me to express my purpose?
• 29:22
  And if the answer is no, I don't say yes, because I'm letting, I'm really allowing my purpose to be that driving force for me. And it keeps me focused. It keeps me clear and it keeps me aligned.
• 29:37
  You know what's beautiful about that purpose? Every freaking word of it. You're beautiful. Your family's beautiful. I was talking with Rudy, your husband, about it. I believe, I have it wrong. I think your daughter's going to be president, not Brady. He didn't like me, I'm telling you. He was writing rap music when I was talking to Rudy last time. I was like, I like this kid.
• 30:01
  So my social media team, I don't know if you saw it. I didn't even, it caught a private moment between Rudy and I. I didn't know that they were recording. And I was calling him to ask him a question and it was just supposed to be between the two of us and they recorded it. But now he goes, I didn't know you were recording. I go, neither did I.
• 30:16
  Beautiful family. Well, you went there. You're the co-founder of the Empowered University podcast. And it's so good. I can't listen to too many podcasts because I don't have enough time, but this is one I listen to all the time. What are some key principles you teach there that could help listeners unlock their potential?
• 30:37
  So the Empowered Life podcast was really the inspiration behind it was to give people tools, tools that have worked in my life and Rudy's life on our own journey that have allowed us to really take control of our life, to be just to live in our personal power, to be able to learn how to trust our own intuition, to use our own guidance, to align with our purpose. It's
• 31:06
  the whole goal is really that statement of being in power and what that truly means. And what that means to me is...
• 31:17
  to be so connected with your soul, so connected with who you are, what you're here to do, that you no longer feel disempowered when you have a dream or desire and you think, I don't know how I'm going to get there because you have the tools, right? You have, you no longer feel disempowered when you hit a season in your life where you're feeling really stressed out or anxious because, oh, I've got some tools that I know will help get me out of that, right?
• 31:45
  right? Or help, help get me through this period. I don't have to feel disempowered around this situation. I'm not a victim here. And so this is really about teaching people how to live a life outside of victimhood. It's kind of a bridge to, to thriving and to being a victor of your life. Sorry about that. I took the podcast and the university and meshed them together. Told you I wasn't feeling well. Totally fine. But I love the podcast because I'm going to tell you what, this is what I want to say.
• 32:13
  I don't know what it is. I think that somehow, some way the universe knows what I exactly need to hear. And you and Rudy do the topic. I it's profound. How many times am I think? Oh, ding. And I'll look and it's a new podcast and I'll be like, what are they talking about? No. Oh, and I'll listen and they're short and it's great. And they get, it's just brilliance. A husband and wife riffing off of each other, adding to each other, two holes coming in, make adding to this universe.
• 32:41
  Guys, follow this podcast. It is so good. Again, like I said, I listen to Ed Milets and your guys' podcast. So I wanted to go there. We're going to go back to the book for a second. I only got a couple more questions, and then we're going to get some personal questions. But this one is important. I talk about emotional intelligence all the time, and you and I have talked about it.
• 33:01
  But you say no emotions. This one kind of threw me for a loop a little bit. No emotions are destructive, including negative ones. How can we shift our perspective to embrace all emotions as a part of this growth journey? So this threw me for a loop, too, when I first came across this idea and.
• 33:23
  But it makes sense. And I think that this experience, okay, my belief is this experience of life on earth is an emotional one, right? We're here to experience all of the emotions. And when I say no emotion is inherently bad, it's not. It's an energy, right? If you really look at what emotion is, it's energy in motion, right?
• 33:46
  And it's totally natural to be able to have all of the different emotions and they only become destructive when,
• 33:55
  When we don't allow ourselves, number one, to actually feel the initial, to have the feeling and to allow it. When we repress it, we push it down, we make it bad, it becomes stuck. And number two, it becomes bad or negative when we start to identify as that emotion. Like, you're not an emotion, I'm not an emotion, I am not angry, you're not sad. Anger is an emotion, sad is an emotion.
• 34:23
  I am a spiritual being having a human experience, right? So it's when we start to say things like, I'm so depressed. I am this, I am that. And we start to identify it to the point where we actually believe that we become that emotion. And instead of just...
• 34:39
  allowing yourself to have the moment, take a beat. Oof, I'm experiencing, like, I'll give you an example, Allie, our daughter who you were just referencing, who absolutely could be president of the United States one day. She's so emotionally intelligent. And she has always had this ability ever since she could talk, that the way that she would phrase it, and we did not teach her this, she would say, I feel anger in my body.
• 35:04
  And we'd be like, interesting. Where do you feel it? You know, we'd start asking her questions and she would be like, so she never phrased it. Like I'm angry at my brother. She'd say, Oh, I don't know. I just feel this anger and it's swirling right here. And so she would be able to not only name it and say, I feel this emotion. It seems like anger to me here. It is in my body. And then we gave her some tools of some things that she could do to allow the motion to process and move through. And then she goes on with life. And
• 35:32
  she was our teacher there because I had never even heard it phrased that way. And now I understand that like, that we have to allow, if we make those emotions bad, that's where I think we get like some of that like toxic spirituality, right? Where it's like people say, don't have a bad emotion, right? Like we're only happy. We're only this. Well, I'm sorry. Like I woke up with anxiety this morning. I did. I woke up and I was like, oof, I've got a little anxiety in my stomach. And so I didn't say the words I'm anxious. It was
• 36:02
  I'm experiencing some energy that feels to me like anxiety. So I did some breathing exercises, did some journaling, and then I moved on with my life. You know what I mean? But I didn't identify with it. So the listeners know Allie's 10 or 11? She's nine. She'll be 10 in a few months. She's nine. And here's the best part about her, guys, is if she doesn't want to do something, the answer is no. And there's no explanation. Just no. I admire that about her.
• 36:32
  It is a superpower. No is a complete sentence is exactly what her motto is. Oh, it's good stuff. You know, I want to share a little private moment with it. I love that when we had dinner all together, I did the moment where I said, let's say one thing we're grateful about and your sons and I'm grateful that you're here at dinner with us. It was just, I enjoyed it. I felt loved, welcomed.
• 36:57
  And it was, you could feel that that's why this book is so special to me. And you guys got to get out and read it. Aniston's is, and, and Rudy are going to do some massive things next year and grace this world with lots of love. And it just, it's a good stuff. I will tell you one thing too, more. Um, I was thinking about all, once we identify with negative things, I identify with a lot of positive things. Like I think I can do anything, like,
• 37:21
  I really do. You've shared it with you. I believe I'm the chosen one and I'm here to do massive impact on massive things. So whenever I feel bad, I convert back to that. So if you can play mind tricks on yourself and always tell yourself the opposite, that works for me. Because you had a statistic and it blew my mind.
• 37:43
  And it's something we all know, but you got to read these things. It's unbelievable. So the statistic about the brain processing 11 million bits of information, but only consciously recognizing 50 is mind-blowing. How can we tap into the power of the subconscious processing to align with our purpose? 50 out of 11 million. Yeah.
• 38:11
  Out of 11 million. Yep. We think we see it all, that we know it all, that we perceive everything that is happening around us, but we really just see such a small and just perceive such a small fragment of what is going on and all the opportunities that are within reach that you just can't even see your process.
• 38:33
  And so essentially, you know, thanks to our, the heart, it's our hardware, right? It's, it's the beauty. It's the beauty of the hardware that we have. That's known as our brain and it's, it's function to allow us to be in this world and not go crazy with so much stimulation all around. And the, the, the hard part about it though, is that,
• 38:56
  We don't always understand how to control the information that's coming to us because it's mostly driven by your subconscious. So the things that, that will, that will make it past the cut, that will make it into your awareness, those 50 bits of information, the sound of your name, you'll always, you'll always perceive that. Have you ever been like totally lost into something? And then all of a sudden you hear your name and you're like, what? Like my kids do it all the time. In fact, if they can't get my attention, I'm, I'm lost in something.
• 39:23
  They'll say, Aniston, and they call me mommy. But they'll literally say my name because they know it will like jar me and disrupt whatever thought pattern I have. And then I will be like, what do you need? The second thing is anything that's perceived danger. If you're in danger, then your subconscious and your brain will alert you to something going on around you. And the third thing is anything that is aligned with or validating your internal belief system.
• 39:51
  And this belief system, right, which, you know, unfortunately for us, a lot of times these beliefs aren't necessarily supportive beliefs, right? It could be beliefs that you had when you were young, they've become a part of your hardware, it's a part of how you view the world. And so much so that you don't, you never, you know, you no longer question them, you don't even know that they're there, but they are absolutely designing your life and what you perceive. Yeah.
• 40:13
  And so as it relates to your question and how, how can you utilize this knowledge to help you align with your purpose? Well, I think one of the greatest things that you can do is, you know, stepping into your purpose is, is more a process of overcoming than it is.
• 40:35
  transforming or becoming. And the reason I say that is because I actually think we believe that we're broken and fully need to be fixed, right? When in essence, I think at our core, we are whole beautiful, unbelievably limitless beings that just have a lot of stuck energy, right? And so in order to realign with what you're really here to do and to feel it so clearly and to
• 41:03
  actually believe in yourself enough to start taking steps towards it, you've got to start asking questions about what are my beliefs? What in questioning, like, why do I believe that about myself? And is that even true and investigating that? And if you can start to do that, then you
• 41:23
  dismantle current programs that you're carrying so that you can start to build new ones and new ones that are going to support you. Kelly, you just said, I believe I can do anything. I believe like you have beliefs that really support you in living the life that you want to live, right? Rather than hinder you.
• 41:41
  Well, some beliefs can be very supportive while others can be very limiting. But in essence, all beliefs in essence are limiting because any belief is going to narrow your view. It's going to narrow your lens and it's going to help create the life that you're living, right? And what you perceive your life to be. But without any beliefs, it would just be pure potential.
• 42:03
  So ultimately what I say is it's like, okay, you want to start moving in the direction of less limiting beliefs because even the most limitless belief is still gonna have some limitation to it, right? Because you're not fully open to, if you were just a being all of a sudden and you had no beliefs, it would be a blank canvas, right? You would just take whatever's happening in the present. You wouldn't become a block to it. And I believe...
• 42:29
  that we live in an abundant universe. And the only block to that abundance is us. I believe that we're here to learn how to receive and to do that. Well, yeah. Keep teaching me how to do that. Cause I'm still struggling to do that. That receiving is something else. All I've ever known is be hard. I was working with your husband on something. He's like, stop trying to be harder than life. I'm like, I saw what you did there. The more I learn, the less I realize I know. Um,
• 42:58
  I just got, I just finished in between your book or I squeezed your book in between the real Anthony Fauci. Yeah.
• 43:05
  Wow. Don't ever read that book. It opens up things that you don't want to know. And then I read your book real quick. And then I'm reading The Second Mountain. I just told Rudy about it. The Second Mountain is a lot like your book. It talks about the first mountain of life, how we were seeking the American dream, money, fame, fortune. And then when you get up there, you realize, oh, this is boring. And then you go down to the valley, you break it all back down, you go back up
• 43:36
  It's called the second mountain.
• 43:39
  one of these thought leaders in our space gave that to me. And I was like, Oh, so, you know, things happen to me for a reason. There's, I'm still working on trying to surrender and allow. And I have no doubt in my mind. The reason why I'm sick is because the God is saying, Hey, slow down. I got something for you. You've learned slow down. And cause I won't slow down. That's all I've ever done. It's be harder than life. And told Rudy, I'm doing something profound next week. Um,
• 44:08
  I'm putting my phone away, putting it because I'm going to be with my daughter, my whole family going to be with me in Florida and I'm putting my phone away and not looking at it for 10 days. I'm going off the grid for 10 days. I haven't done that in years. I'm telling you, I'm going to become addicted and I'm going to hire somebody just to lose my phone because I get it, wake up, but it's like, okay, I got to post this. I got to do that. I don't have to do anything. So, uh,
• 44:33
  I want to go into something very personal. And I read this several times and I waited till the very end. We have two more book questions. Then we'll go to some personal questions. We're going to go a little longer. Guys, the universe is hiring. Order it now. This is a page shirt. It's so good. And everything about Aniston and her family is just beautiful. So take us to the park bench, your sophomore year at TCU. When you asked yourself those pivotal questions about public speaking,
• 45:00
  because I know you as a public speaker and it's like, you were nervous cause this is gonna resonate with everybody. And I wanted to, my question is, what inspired you to imagine that version of yourself and how did it change your trajectory? But please spend a lot of time on the portal, how you leaned right into it and said, this isn't who I am. Because people love the stories. Yeah.
• 45:28
  Okay. So one of my first, and this was really how I got into personal development and it was kind of a gateway for me. So I had this year. Now wait a minute, hold on. This is sophomore year of college. So this is, she could have ignored this and missed it, but she did it and said, what's going on? So please know this is the universe.
• 45:50
  If she would have ignored it, it would have come back again and again and again and again. And then she went right into the hard thing. Notice this. Doing the hard thing. Right. So I when I was I would say probably like fifth grade, I did my first.
• 46:05
  public speaking presentation in class, or I tried anyway, I showed up for it. And I had always been a bit introverted, a little bit shy, but I never had any reason to think that I wouldn't be able to stand up in front of class and to speak.
• 46:22
  But for whatever reason that day, I got up in front of class and I had a full on, it was my first ever panic attack where my heart was beating, I couldn't think straight, I was sweating, I just stood there frozen. It's like fear, fight or flight. Well, mine is like frozen.
• 46:38
  I just freeze. And I wasn't ultimately able to complete giving that presentation. And it wound up being a very negative experience for me. I was humiliated. I had a lot of shame around it. So I made a decision at the young age of, I don't know, 10, that I can't public speak. Like I legitimately can't do it. I believed it. I believed it so much that as I went through middle school and high school, I would select classes.
• 47:08
  based on will they make me stand up and give a speech? And if the answer was yes, I would, I would find another class. I mean, I literally let this belief like guide a lot of my decisions and my direction in life. And so fast forward to college, I had declared my major in advertising and public relations. And I had, um, heard about this agency coming, um,
• 47:34
  to school to present, they were recruiting and they were talking about this legendary internship program and working for their agency. And I sat in that presentation and I just was like, I have full body goosebumps. Like I just had this knowing that,
• 47:49
  I'm meant to work at this agency. I just know I am. It felt so right. I was so excited. I finally felt like I knew what I wanted to be doing and direction I wanted to be working towards. And I was a hard worker. I wasn't afraid of hard work. I knew that I would do whatever it took. But then at the end of that presentation, they stopped and they said,
• 48:09
  All right. Here are the requirements to apply for the internship program. And the first one was you must be a proficient and compelling public speaker. And I just about died in my seat. I literally tears sprung to my eyes. I was so defeated because I thought to myself, but I can't public speak. I just can't. I cannot do it.
• 48:35
  And I went outside and I sat on that bench you were talking about and I was upset. And I just sat there though because this was the first time in my life that I wanted something so much that I was willing to even give myself the space to think about.
• 48:54
  about it, right? To think about the possibility of what can I do to work around this? And that's when I heard, I just, the easiest way for me to describe it was I heard that voice in my head. The one sounds a lot like the one I hear every day, but it was different because it was calm. It was, it was powerful. And it said, but what if you could,
• 49:19
  be a good public speaker? What if you could be a proficient and compelling public speaker? And honestly, that was a foreign thought for me. I had never, ever questioned it. I never thought, well, maybe this was just a fluke. Maybe I was having an off day. No, it had become fact for me. So it was that moment that I just, I made a decision and
• 49:40
  that I was, that I wanted this job more and it was worth it to me to do, that they would force me to do the thing that I had been avoiding for the last, you know, 10 years. And so I went to the registrar's office and I registered or I changed my minor to speech comp.
• 49:56
  the speech communication, which forced me to then give all of these, you know, to meet with professors and to do it over and over and over again. And what's so interesting, Kelly, is that not only did I get the job, you know, I got the job and I worked for the agency, but,
• 50:11
  But that this fear was actually like pointing in the direction of my life's purpose because I now love, love to stand up on a stage and speak to people and inspire people. In fact, I train people.
• 50:28
  people to do this every single day on how to stand up on a stage, how to build a presentation. Like, this is what I do. It has become my passion and my career and a vehicle for me to express my purpose. So what if I had avoided that fear and believed it my whole life, you know? You would have robbed us of your brilliance. Guys, thoughts.
• 50:49
  Our magical lies. That's it. It's the stories you tell yourself. It's bullshit. Do you ever go back to the 10 year old girl who was scared? Because you deep, you extrapolate into the story a little more how you were humiliating and the teacher let you off. Do you ever go back to that girl and as big Aniston and put your arm around her and say, it's okay, look at you now?
• 51:12
  I do. I do. I used to a lot more. It's interesting because even when I started doing this work and I started, you know, training and doing a lot of public speaking,
• 51:26
  my body still remembered what that felt like. Right. So I would still, I would literally, and I think it's important for people to hear this because they, I think some people think a switch goes off and all of a sudden that fear is just gone. But my, it's like my body, even, even into my, into my professional career where I would be sitting in a boardroom sometimes. And if there was like 20 people there, all of a sudden it would come on where my heart would start beating. And I would have to,
• 51:52
  to kind of go back and remind myself and I kind of would picture my little 10 year old self, as you were saying, like, I would literally picture her and I would just say in my mind, you are safe. Like you are safe. You are safe. Like everything is fine. And the more that I did that now, I haven't had to do that in a long time and I haven't had that experience of my body responding in that way in a long time. But, um, yeah,
• 52:18
  It's a process of unlearning and reconditioning your body so that it trusts when you put it in this situation that you feared for so long. It's a beautiful story. It's beautiful. I realized this last week that all I ever wanted to be told was I was a good boy. I was working out and, you know, I work out like a madman. And I just realized that I burst out in tears and I said, I am a good boy.
• 52:46
  I've always been a good boy. I was a straight A student all through. Nobody ever said it. My parents never even noticed unless I was bad. Only time they ever noticed me. So I'd act out because that gave me attention. But I kept saying to myself that day, you're a good boy. And I laugh because I say that to my dog all the time. You're a good boy. Good boy. But it's all I ever wanted to be told. So whenever I'm getting anxious lately, I just go, Kelly, you're a good boy. You're on the right path. All's well. And I imagine a little 10-year-old.
• 53:11
  nine-year-old that was getting beat by his mother. And I say, you're a good boy. You don't deserve that. And I apologize to my mother. And it's just over and over and over until it goes away. First thing you do is name it and then work through it. So here's a really- I really think that it's, all we are all looking for is our own love, our own acceptance, our own, you know what I mean? It's true. It's so true. It's, you know what? And I'll tell you,
• 53:40
  Once you achieve it, and we're all pretty close. The people in our space that are close to us are really close. I think it's, you're always just a little bit away, but I'm close up. When you get there, you need so little in life.
• 53:55
  It's so amazing. I need, like, I'm literally looking at everything and going, I don't need that anymore. I don't need, I want to get rid of this. I feel like, are you going to kill yourself? No, I just don't really, who I was that bought that doesn't exist anymore. I don't need it. I just, you require so much and so little in this world once you are completely fulfilled in your life.
• 54:17
  All right. We got one more really good one. And it's, I loved this one because I, this happens to me a lot. You mentioned the importance of differentiating between excited, nervous and anxious, nervous. And it was on page 134 for the, for the listeners. Please go out and read the book guys. There's we, I picked the ones that hit me. There's so much more in this book. So how can the learner listeners learn to tell the difference and use
• 54:49
  Well, I mean, I think the feeling of excited and nervous are very, very similar in our bodies. Very similar. Almost identical. And so... Did you get this? We talked about this. Did you? I think we did. I think we talked about this when you were here in Wilmington with us. Yes.
• 55:06
  It's, you know, this is something I, this actually, interestingly enough, I learned a lot in the process of overcoming my fear of public speaking. I had partnered with these coaches, like these, my professors, and I had sat down with them and said, hey, I have this fear. I really could use your mentorship and help.
• 55:24
  And so they taught me all that they knew, right? And this was one of them. And they said, you know, you're processing the emotion in your body as nervousness and as fear. But what if it's just excitement? And so I started having to change how I described it and the words I used to describe it.
• 55:45
  And so by saying, um, and I know like Mel Robbins teaches something very similar to this. It's like by just using your, your speech and being able to say, I am so excited to do this thing, right? I I'm feeling so excited to get up and talk to a hundred people. I'm excited to share what I have, you know, with them. I'm excited. You say that,
• 56:07
  And your brain will start to process it as excitement. And so then when you meet this situation again, it's going to be like, right, this is where we get excited. This is not nervousness. This is excited. It's actually...
• 56:20
  a really productive way to rewire the program. And so I think that a lot of times we view things that we don't know naturally, like if we're looking ahead in our future and we just don't know how something's gonna happen or change is happening, we automatically assume it's gonna be bad.
• 56:39
  And so we feel that nervousness, but you can just as easily say, I'm actually really excited. I have no idea what's coming, but it's going to be good. You know what I mean? Like life just keeps getting better and better. And I think that it is, it's just a shift. It's a shift in how you describe the energy that you're feeling. And it will help you also get really, really great.
• 56:59
  like in tune with what is going on and understanding that, like, you know, just because you're feeling something doesn't mean it's something to respond and react to. Like, just because you feel nervous doesn't mean you, you should be feeling nervous, right? This could just be your response to a belief. That's not even true. I don't think I've ever said this on the air ever, but I just, I'm going to say it now because it's very fitting.
• 57:25
  I drank because of, I thought I was anxious and I thought I was nervous and it was, I was excited. I grew up in such an anxious household, that's the only emotion I ever knew. I was scared to death, anxious. So whenever I got that, I got excited, I thought it was anxiety and I'd go drink to stop. And little did I know, and now, and listen, I live a life that's nothing but excitement.
• 57:54
  And yeah, I drank because I misconstrued those two feelings because they feel to this day, I have to stop and ask myself, am I nervous or am I just excited? And I'm like, and I try to say, what's the reverse? And I'll say, what's there to be nervous about? There's nothing you're going to do. You're going to see Ed Milat.
• 58:19
  going to be great. So I, I, that's, that was a very, you know, being in tune with my emotions has been one of the hardest things. Cause I've only knew survival and, and fear that was, that was it. So I, we're pretty much well done with the book. I got a bunch of fun questions. So let's, I want to ask you another empowered life podcast question. What was your most memorable conversation?
• 58:46
  With, with Rudy or with like a guest? You're a little over a hundred episodes. It could be a guest. It could be just, tell us about it. It could be even with Rudy. Oh gosh. This is, this is an interesting one. Um,
• 59:06
  Okay, I think my absolute favorite one that we've done, but I'm cheating a little bit, Kelly, because it was a series. Is that okay? So Rudy and I recorded, we love to talk about manifestation. For us, creation and being a co-creator and with God and the universe, to us, it's just, it's fun and it's exciting. And so we all oftentimes have these conversations with friends and family and whatever. And they're always asking like,
• 59:35
  you know, how did you create this and what did you do and what were the tools? And so we decided to create a series about how we manifested some of the most incredible things in our lives. And then we teach a tool with each of those episodes. And so that was, I would say that was my favorite because we were able to share so many stories from our life and we got so much great feedback and people just saying that it really resonated with them. And it really was a good reminder that
• 1:00:05
  we learn through story. And I think it's one of our greatest gifts. Yeah. I intentionally, I'm so glad you went there because I left off, if you notice, I left all the manifestation off because I want the people to go read the book because-
• 1:00:19
  what do they say? Uh, action or dream or a goal without, without action is just a dream. And a lot of people, the big term is manifestation, manifestation. She goes all into it. And if you listen to the podcast, they talk about it too, but the stories are, you can't help, but know that they called this to their life. Um, I, I,
• 1:00:41
  I purposely left him out. Guys, go read the book. It is, there's a couple in there. And Rudy tells an amazing story about them going on a boat that they called in their life. He's in one of the podcasts. It's so good. So yes, if you want to have the life of your dreams, read The Universe is Hiring. Listen to the Empowered Life podcast.
• 1:01:03
  And whenever they do, they're going to be doing something out in 2025. They haven't announced it yet, but they'll be doing something. Make sure you go see it. Now we're going to switch to some fun things. Okay. What's the funniest or most unexpected feedback you've received about one of your workshops? Oh, gosh. Um...
• 1:01:26
  Oh man, Kelly, that's a good question. I don't know if I've ever been asked that before. I would say,
• 1:01:37
  Okay, so I'll tell you this. It's interesting. It's kind of as it relates to our kids. So Rudy and I, like, I'm a big believer in that in order to heal, you have to feel. And in order to feel, you need to do something, right? You have to, it needs to be something experiential. So everything that I do.
• 1:01:57
  teach in a workshop and I know Rudy's the same. Um, I, I bring in an experiential element because you're not there just there to listen. That's only one piece of it, right? You've got to do something in order to change when you change everything else changes. So, um,
• 1:02:12
  I have a reputation of making every single person in the room cry. Like, I just do. I don't know. Maybe it's just something. It's one of my superpowers, Kelly. Like, even people that...
• 1:02:27
  they're like, I haven't cried in 10 years. And there is something, I don't know what it is about the trainings that I deliver. And I think it's just energy. I think it's intention. But it's also because of the things that I ask people to do. I play music. And so when we come home from our events,
• 1:02:48
  Our kids, they don't say, how was your event? They say, how many people cried? And then we'll tell them like how many people cried. And then we're like, oh my gosh, we had a room of 200 and 200 people cried. And they just laugh at us because they're like, you guys are so cruel. Why would you want to make people cry? Because they don't understand from their kids' minds. So I think that's probably one of the funniest things is that –
• 1:03:12
  is the celebration of tears. And I think that, but I think it is something to celebrate because it means change. Does that answer your question? Yes. Every time I hear Rudy speak or you speak, I think love. And I'm going to tell you why. Let me see if I can get this to play. Take a seat, everybody. Okay. This is Rudy giving a speech. Can you hear it? Oh, yeah. I get to talk to you for the next 40 minutes.
• 1:03:43
  You know, it's, it's way in, but he starts off. I missed the very beginning. He goes, I love my wife. This isn't a room full of people. Everybody goes, Oh, disarmed everybody. So I started recording two minutes after, and that's how we started his speech. There's just tremendous amount of love. And I don't feel like I want to cry. I feel full.
• 1:04:10
  I feel poured into. And so that's why you guys are going to want to read this book. The manifestation and the action that you were just speaking about is all through the book, people. I intentionally left that out because I want you to read it and do the work that she suggests. Again, it doesn't for everybody.
• 1:04:29
  But there's pieces in this book that are so pertinent to each and every person, not every portion of it, but there is a portion of it that'll be good for every person. So it's just good read. If the universe really were hiring, what job would you apply for and why?
• 1:04:47
  Gosh, I mean, honestly, I feel really good about saying like I would be exactly where I am right now because I feel like I have, you know, when you feel like that feeling like when you have like a secret and you're like, I figured something out and now it's like, it's fun and I want to teach people about it. Like this is, I'm in it. This is, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, be doing anything else because I finally feel like I'm.
• 1:05:14
  I have filled my proverbial plate to the brim, so full of the things that light me up, where I get to share my gifts, where I get to impact people and to fulfill that purpose statement I told you about earlier. And that I have no reason to want to be anywhere else or doing anything other than I'm doing right now. Love it. Guys, if you...
• 1:05:41
  Go listen to Rudy Rickstein's podcast with me. He tells the story of how they met, and it's beautiful. We don't have time to go into it, but this one is a weird question. I know why I put it in here, but I want to see how you react to it. We all have those moments where we don't quite practice what we preach. What's a recent oops moment where you caught yourself not living a line? Ooh, yeah.
• 1:06:07
  So I have a practice where, um, again, this kind of goes back to our initial conversation early, early on in the podcast where we were talking about victimhood and how to, to start getting out of that. And so my practice that I do is when I've had a challenge or what I would perceive as a challenge, or maybe I had a conversation and I'm triggered, right? Mm-hmm.
• 1:06:33
  that I, my promise to myself is I won't let myself sit in that very long before I unpack it and see the purpose in it. I like seek out the purpose and the meaning and what I'm meant to learn from that. And oftentimes I will see the pattern of that past recreating itself. And then I'm able to be like, oh, that's what this was about. And then I'm able to move forward from a neutral space. So I would say it was probably about a week ago,
• 1:07:02
  had one of those days where it was just like one thing after another, after another. And I was just like having like a trigger tantrum. You know what I mean? Where you're just feeling so, and when you're in it, it's so hard to get out of it. Right. And so that's why it's so great to have Rudy, um, as my, as, as not only my partner in life, but he, he keeps it real. Right. So we sat down and he could tell I was like super triggered. And he's like,
• 1:07:29
  well, have you gone and sat down and done your exercise yet? And I'm like, no, I have not. I have not absolutely not done that because I'm not ready to let this go. You know, it was one of those moments. But sure enough, like I went, I sat down and 30 minutes later I came back and I was like a different person. And so I think...
• 1:07:44
  You know, you're always there's no such thing as perfection. And I think we get to fall off and we get to because that also gives you an opportunity to practice again, right, to practice what you preach. And I don't think that perfection exists. And I think that people thinking that that does is actually very, very harmful. And you're going to have days. I believe days are pendulums.
• 1:08:06
  right? So you're going to have days that you're at a high and you're like, life is amazing. This is so great. And then you wake up the next morning and something, some switch has gone off and all of a sudden you're feeling anxious or you're feeling this way. And, and that's totally normal. I believe it. You've got, it's, it's, that's the way that life works. You just got to have the tools to be able to handle those days. And then to know that it's just temporary is it'll, it'll pass.
• 1:08:33
  Your podcast co-host is your husband, Rudy. What's one thing he does during the recordings that drives you absolutely nuts? Because they sound so perfect. Well, so Rudy and I, when we started this podcast, our intention was...
• 1:08:52
  that we would treat this like a conversation and that when him and I were on together, that this would be as unscripted, unplanned as possible. But what drives me crazy, I wouldn't say it drives me crazy, but it makes me laugh and sometimes makes me a little annoyed. But
• 1:09:12
  He can get so worked up about getting like the, like before we get going, like all the technical aspects ready. I don't know what it is, but he has a tendency to, to create like delays or create like something's not working or this isn't talking to. And I'm like,
• 1:09:30
  Oh my gosh. You know, so it's, it's interesting. He's definitely got some energy somewhere around there as it relates to getting all the cameras ready and the microphone set and then getting it all synced up online. And, um, anyways, so I think that's probably what makes me laugh more. Once we're in it, like once we're going, it's, it's usually it's fun. And I, that's my favorite process. It's the before that, that I think we could probably work on a little bit.
• 1:09:56
  So you just answered and say, no, not nobody's perfect. He's trying to be perfect. You're like, if, if your life were a movie, what would the title be? And which actress would you want to play you? Oh my gosh. Um,
• 1:10:15
  Okay. Actress. I'll start there. Cause that'll probably be easier than the title of the movie. I think the title should be the universe is hiring. So if the book was, if we made a book or if we made a movie about it, who would be, who do you want the actress to be? Who would be the actress?
• 1:10:30
  Um, you know, I have always loved Reese Witherspoon. So I would say probably Reese cause I like her and she keeps it real and she's funny and dynamic and, um, and she's definitely an expander for me with what she does with her life. So definitely Reese. I thought you were going to say, I thought you were going to say Blake Lively. Cause you know what? I obviously, honestly that, uh, it ends with us. Oh, oh.
• 1:10:55
  My goodness was that triggering to me. I'm reading that. I'm watching it. So one of the things that I do now that I'm far down my healing journey, I cry a lot. So I'm in that movie theater and I'm just crying because I realized it ended with me and my daughter gets all this love and she's never going to have to deal with someone like that. And yeah.
• 1:11:18
  I was proud of myself. So guys, I share these, these transparent moments with you. So you realize that how cool it feels to heal. And it's, it's just a, it's truly, it's just a feeling. I, I didn't even have feelings before I started this or it's like push them all down. And I love going to that movie so good because I can identify with it. Not that, you know, I am an anti domestic violence guy.
• 1:11:43
  And like I've gotten into some huge altercations with met gentlemen that wanted to differentiate with, or that, that, that didn't agree with me on that one. So yeah, I know I don't want to spoil the movie, but that one made me cry. I immediately walked out, called my daughter and just said, you know, I love you more than anything in the world. And, and, you know, you're the most important thing to me. And I'm just so proud of who I've become because of who you're becoming. Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:12:10
  So it's harder than life and anything. I'm going to ask you a quirky habit, a ritual that you have that keeps you grounded and aligned with your purpose. But I do want to give out one thing because I didn't I held back a lot because she speaks a lot about journaling. There is an absolute superpower in journaling. A lot of her books, a lot of her inspiration, the book.
• 1:12:34
  uh, the, the, not the meditations, but with the, uh, manifestations come to her and journal. If you don't do anything, listen, read the book and listen to her journaling practice. And then you can reach out to her and to Rudy. They have some very amazing workshops teaching. It was the empowered university. They have some things that you can do to call the stuff in you. Is this the, the, the universe is, is hiring. It is energetic. You do make
• 1:13:01
  your own weather in this world. So I'm going to ask you the question, what's the one quirky habit or ritual that keeps you grounded in line with your purpose? Obviously, journaling is not quirky. That's mainstream. So what's a quirky one? Quirky habits.
• 1:13:19
  Oh gosh, Rudy would be chuckling if he heard this question because, um, I am someone who I have, I have a lot of different tools that I pull from, right. Depending on the day of, of, and I'm always like finding new things because I'm a, I'm a C I'm, I love to learn and I'm always fairly open to what's being put in front of me. And I think, um,
• 1:13:41
  So one thing that I – have you ever heard of The Emotion Code by Dr. Bradley Cooper? Kelly, have you ever read that book? Is it white and a green – I'm pretty sure I read it. Okay. Okay.
• 1:13:57
  So I have taught my, I've learned and I've studied his work. He did the emotion code, the body code, but essentially it teaches you how to release trapped emotion in the body for yourself. And it's incredible. Like it's an incredible practice.
• 1:14:13
  it just looks a little weird because it's, it's like, you're, you're able, you have to do some muscle testing to access in your subconscious what's being blocked. And then you use a magnet, like to like, to release it like a magnet that's run over a certain point in your body. And so I, as of late, interestingly enough, like this past like week or two, I've been doing a lot of that. I've just felt like, I just felt like I needed it. Like it was, I had a lot of emotions to release and some things that were kind of bubbling up and, um,
• 1:14:43
  So that I would say is definitely one of my quirky, grounded, spiritual practices that I do. That is interesting. I'm going to go downstairs and look and see if I have that book. I'm going to ask one more question because it's so good. If someone is feeling stuck and disconnected from their purpose, what's the first step they should take to realign?
• 1:15:08
  I would say do something that lights you up. Like do something, like spend time and carve out time and prioritize time to do some things that you know, like give you energy, that make you feel excited about life. Like that's a really easy way to pivot. You don't have to worry about figuring it all out. Like what I've found is, is...
• 1:15:33
  For me, it was like, okay, I love to write. Writing gives me energy. I was waking up at four o'clock in the morning and writing for between four and six for months in order to get this book done because I have a really full life. I have a full schedule. So that was the time that worked for me. And you would think that I would be completely exhausted right?
• 1:15:54
  by the end of the day, but those months where I was waking up at four and just in writing for two hours, I had more energy. I was more alive. I felt more excited about life than I have in a really long time because writing for me fills me up. It's an aligned activity that all I can say is my soul and my spirit loves.
• 1:16:18
  So I know that if I start feeling off kilter or out of alignment or I'm feeling off, like riding for me is a really, as I know, is an activity I can do that will immediately give me that shot in the arm. The other thing that you can do to quickly, I feel like get back in alignment is to ask the question, how can I serve today?
• 1:16:40
  And truly getting into that space. And when you say that doesn't necessarily mean it has to be some massive action where you're, you know, I mean, I know, Kelly, you do a lot of philanthropy work and you, you pour, you give so much of yourself. And I would bet.
• 1:16:56
  that it feels so good, that you feel so alive, so full, like that you, like it's, you can't buy that. There's nothing that you could go out and buy or a thing, or even I would argue a relationship that can give you that. There is something special that happens within us when we say, listen, I,
• 1:17:17
  How can I serve? How can I share my unique gifts with someone that needs it without any expectation? And even if it's just a text or a call to say, I love you, like you're going to get something back and that will fill you up. And I think help help you get really in a positive space that you can then move forward from.
• 1:17:38
  Yeah, I just left a nonprofit where we're donating all the IT to it. And they just – and you know the funny thing about it is they said, hey, would you send us a note so we can share it with all of our donators who own bunches of business to have your business? I look over at one of my leaderships and I go, see why I do this? I do it to feel good, but I just –
• 1:17:57
  You know, it's just, it's the least I can do. Yeah. An advanced move, and people think I'm crazy, but I just always have to say this, is when you're feeling a little funky or a little off, three S's, solitude, stillness, and silence. What did I start this off with? I'm shutting my phone off for 10 days. Yeah.
• 1:18:14
  I'm not allowing myself to listen to any podcasts. I'm going to go to the gym, but I'm not going to have my music or podcast playing. I'm going to reread my book, The Four Agreements. I'm going to read Ed Milet's book again because I missed something the first time. So those are the three books I'm going to read in my 10 days. And I'm going to be silent still. And I won't be alone because I'll be with family, but I'll be...
• 1:18:40
  not around a bunch of movement. And I found as I've grown in my, in my therapy or in my journey, those are the things that work for me. I need advanced shock therapy. And so is there anything I haven't asked you that you feel compelled to share?
• 1:19:00
  I think it's just what I would want in my intention for anyone who's listening to this episode or reads the book is this just that you really think about and you know in your heart that you're here for a reason, that you were given gifts that are unique. Nobody else has or no one else will be able to share and express like you will. Yeah.
• 1:19:27
  And that there is a role for you here. And that role is going to change. It's not going to just be one job or one expression, but that it's a journey. And that when you can share, acknowledge your unique gifts and start sharing them with other people.
• 1:19:45
  Life takes over and things start to shift and change and expand in the most exciting ways. And you're going to be given opportunities to do what you love to do, but in bigger and different ways. And it will be unexpected and it will be synchronistic and it will be magical. But you have to start.
• 1:20:04
  And you've got to start somewhere, which means you have to stop waiting. And so my hope would be that right now or this year, 2025 gets to be the year that you start and you start right where you are. And it can just take, all it can take is just one simple shift and one new idea, one new way of perceiving something that will completely change the trajectory of your life.
• 1:20:31
  That's beautiful. Guys, the universe is hiring. You're going to hear this on New Year's. So 2025 is your year. You matter. You're here for a reason. I'm going to take this time to thank my producer, Sawyer.
• 1:20:46
  The Radcast, the Radical Network, as Aniston said, the universe is hiring and an opportunity opened up for us to try out some other platforms. Not that anything was wrong. We just got an opportunity invited to a massive thing that you'll hear all about. We're going to be expanding the podcast to two episodes. We're going to be doing solo episodes on Thursdays and 2025. I'm coming. I'm coming.
• 1:21:11
  And it was because I met Aniston and Rudy and my dear friend Ryan from the Radcast. And all these opportunities kind of, I'm on level three. Now we're going to go to four and we're going to go to five until we get all the way. And then we're going to start all over and do it all over again and do it better. So this is me wishing you a happy new year, a happy, healthy new year. And I love you, Aniston. I love you, Rudy. And thank you for everything you do. Guys, go out and buy the book.
• 1:21:43
  Please rate and share this podcast. I'm active on all social platforms and love to hear from my Segal supporters. Each and every episode is sponsored by my company, National Technology Management, the easiest and best IT company to do business with, delivering peace of mind with technology every day, even simplifying cybersecurity. Visit TrustNTM.com for more info. Until next week, be harder than life.