Latest / Planning Out Loud: A Wedding Planning Podcast / 5. "Does It Pass the Vibe Check?" Planning a Summer Camp Wedding w/ Jacque & Karol

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5. "Does It Pass the Vibe Check?" Planning a Summer Camp Wedding w/ Jacque & Karol · Planning Out Loud: A Wedding Planning Podcast

• 0:04
  Kristy Silva: Hello everyone and welcome to the Planning and Out Loud Podcast.
• 0:07
  Kristy Silva: I'm your host, Kristy Silva, wedding planner and owner of Kinfete Weddings and Events.
• 0:12
  Kristy Silva: On today's episode, I have a pre-wedding conversation with Karol, they/ them, and Jacque, she/ hers, about their wedding before it happens.
• 0:21
  Kristy Silva: We talk about their decision to get married at Camp Puh' Tok, a summer camp in northern Baltimore County.
• 0:26
  Kristy Silva: We talk about how they found their vendors, but also how they knew which ones were the best fit.
• 0:31
  Kristy Silva: We talk about how they identified their priorities early and how those served as guideposts for planning.
• 0:37
  Kristy Silva: And we also talk about making your wedding fun and leaning into the opportunity to build community.
• 0:42
  Kristy Silva: So without further ado, let's jump right in.
• 0:45
  Kristy Silva: Karol and Jacque, thanks so much for agreeing to be on the podcast.
• 0:52
  Kristy Silva: I'm so excited to talk to you all today about your wedding, which has not happened yet.
• 0:56
  Kristy Silva: At the time of recording, we are about three months away from it happening, and you've been planning for maybe by the time that the wedding gets here, it'll be almost two years, I believe.
• 1:08
  Kristy Silva: So how are you feeling?
• 1:09
  Karol: Excited.
• 1:10
  Karol: Like it's it's it's a little bit scary that it's kind of around the corner, but it's also just so exciting that it's finally here, it's coming together, it's out there.
• 1:21
  Karol: We sent out our official invitations this week, and so it's happening.
• 1:26
  Jacque: Also very grateful for you know y'all coming to step in at this time because you called it this is the time, right?
• 1:36
  Jacque: So, right when I think we would be stressing a little bit more, it's like we can still take a deep breath because we we have y'all.
• 1:44
  Jacque: So yeah.
• 1:46
  Kristy Silva: Good.
• 1:46
  Kristy Silva: I'm so glad to hear that.
• 1:47
  Kristy Silva: And I'm excited for you to be working with Destiny.
• 1:50
  Kristy Silva: I know she's excited for your wedding, and yeah, you're you're right.
• 1:53
  Kristy Silva: This the final three months are like logistics, small detail decision time where it can be easy to get lost in all of that and lose some of the excitement for the wedding.
• 2:07
  Kristy Silva: So we want you to be able to maintain that excitement as as much as possible and take some things off your your plate.
• 2:12
  Kristy Silva: So I'm glad that it's already feeling helpful.
• 2:15
  Kristy Silva: And so I actually want to go back to thinking about when you very first started your planning process when you know you made the decision that we're gonna, we're gonna have a wedding, we're gonna do this thing.
• 2:26
  Kristy Silva: And I remember you told me that you both took the time to sit down and write out your shared goals and outcomes for the wedding.
• 2:36
  Kristy Silva: Tell me like where where did this idea come from?
• 2:39
  Kristy Silva: What did this look like?
• 2:41
  Kristy Silva: I think that's a really that's such a good idea.
• 2:43
  Kristy Silva: So tell us more about that.
• 2:45
  Karol: So we took a kind of a day trip to a beach lake area, and I said, hey, let's, you know, hang out at the beach and do some big picture dreaming thinking about our wedding.
• 2:58
  Karol: So we were really excited, but we had not really gotten into what what might a wedding look like for you?
• 3:04
  Karol: What might a wedding look like for me?
• 3:06
  Karol: And so we decided to, you know, take our notebooks and we first started, as you mentioned, individual reflection.
• 3:15
  Karol: So when we imagined our perfect wedding, what are some of those elements, those components that we would want included?
• 3:23
  Karol: And so, you know, she had her list, I had my list.
• 3:27
  Karol: It was timed.
• 3:28
  Karol: That is true.
• 3:30
  Jacque: Yeah, it was like very it was a short exercise.
• 3:33
  Jacque: We had maybe three minutes to just write kind of words that pop up for us in the brain dump.
• 3:40
  Jacque: Right.
• 3:41
  Jacque: Yes.
• 3:41
  Jacque: We did we did multiple rounds of that, I think.
• 3:44
  Jacque: And then we compared our notes.
• 3:48
  Jacque: Yep.
• 3:49
  Jacque: And we kind of like checked boxes.
• 3:51
  Jacque: We're like, oh, I think these could kind of mesh well together, or these are the exact same thing.
• 3:56
  Jacque: Yeah, we definitely kind of made note of overlap, overlapping themes.
• 4:00
  Jacque: Right.
• 4:01
  Jacque: And then we took those themes and kind of uh developed the I guess uh principles or like values, like the three main guiding guiding principles for our wedding.
• 4:16
  Karol: Yeah.
• 4:17
  Jacque: And after that, it was so much easier to get going with everything else because we just always went back to those those three things.
• 4:27
  Jacque: So yes.
• 4:29
  Kristy Silva: Do you remember what those three things are that you landed on?
• 4:32
  Jacque: Okay, not word for word, but I think we can get community.
• 4:36
  Jacque: Okay, wait, wait, wait.
• 4:41
  Jacque: Everybody leaves with somebody's somebody they didn't know didn't know uh information or that they meet someone that they didn't know originally at their wedding and that go ahead.
• 4:56
  Karol: Sorry, so I so I mean I think the overarching theme was kind of around community and the people that we're bringing together, and so we wanted to create an experience where they find it meaningful, have memories of their time together, and so it's so one of the kind of takeaways is tangible, you know, you're leaving with somebody else's contact information from all the memories like I think a second one was you know, I actually don't remember the second one.
• 5:26
  Jacque: I think it was like to have fun that they that they would have a good time, they that they would laugh and yes, yeah, and then the third one was that we have which I think was telling that that was our third one because we were really kind of focused on doing everything for others, and then we're like, wait.
• 5:48
  Jacque: Oh yeah, and I actually think that was one of the reasons why we connected with y'all, because we were like, wait, if that's one of our principles, and we're like trying to prioritize that, we are gonna need help, you know, on the day of some yeah, and before.
• 6:06
  Kristy Silva: Yeah, absolutely.
• 6:07
  Kristy Silva: So that you're you know, because weddings are a bit of you're the host, but you're also the guest of honor, and so you want to be able to be a guest at your wedding and get to enjoy it.
• 6:17
  Kristy Silva: So I'm glad that you identified that early and were able to, you know.
• 6:21
  Kristy Silva: I it seems like it would go without saying that you should have fun at your own wedding, but sometimes it doesn't.
• 6:29
  Kristy Silva: So I like that, you know, very plainly, it was like, no, this is a priority that we're gonna keep in mind as we're making these decisions.
• 6:38
  Kristy Silva: Would either or both of you describe yourself as people pleasers, or has that shaped your wedding planning experience at all?
• 6:47
  Kristy Silva: Yes.
• 6:51
  Jacque: Absolutely.
• 6:52
  Jacque: And I think for at least for for me, I won't speak for you, but uh being community centered and distinguishing that from being a people pleaser can be really important for me.
• 7:06
  Jacque: So, you know, thinking about accessibility uh in terms of can everybody walk, you know, through this space and feel comfortable?
• 7:16
  Jacque: Are the group of people we're inviting, do they understand pronouns and and will people feel comfortable here in this space as a community versus we have to have this one special thing because this person really likes this and we know that, you know?
• 7:31
  Jacque: I think that goes towards the people pleasing aspect.
• 7:35
  Jacque: Sometimes being in community is uncomfortable and uh it's still important and per purposeful, and we should like sit in that uncomfortability together.
• 7:46
  Karol: Yeah.
• 7:46
  Jacque: So yeah, like distinguishing those two things has been a good practice during the planning.
• 7:52
  Kristy Silva: Yeah, I that's really I really like what you said about that discomfort comes with community.
• 7:59
  Kristy Silva: Um that is true, especially we bring people together who are different and from different places and different walks of life, and that's true at pretty much every single wedding that you know.
• 8:10
  Kristy Silva: We said I've been a part of people are bringing their own experiences and things like that, and you're you're blending, you're blending families.
• 8:17
  Kristy Silva: That's what what a wedding is, and that includes your friend groups and things like that.
• 8:22
  Kristy Silva: So being able to accept that as part of the process and lean into it, I think, is is really great and something that I hope people listening will keep in mind as they're planning their own wedding that that's going to be the case, and that's okay.
• 8:38
  Kristy Silva: That's the point.
• 8:39
  Kristy Silva: Awesome.
• 8:39
  Kristy Silva: And so now kind of zooming forward to where you're at in planning now.
• 8:44
  Kristy Silva: At this point, you have nearly all, if not all, of your vendors booked, and it's more of the coordination piece from here.
• 8:53
  Kristy Silva: But with your vendors, you were really intentional.
• 8:57
  Kristy Silva: I remember you told me about prioritizing local vendors of color, small LGBTQ-owned businesses.
• 9:03
  Kristy Silva: Can you tell us a bit about that choice on why that was important to you?
• 9:07
  Karol: So I think it goes back to our first principle around community people relationships.
• 9:12
  Karol: And so, I mean, both of us identify within those realms, spheres of people of color, LGBT, local businesses.
• 9:22
  Karol: And so I think anything that we could do and contribute to supporting those businesses that may not always be getting all the, you know, they're not going to be the most popular.
• 9:32
  Karol: But for us, that was kind of part of our community, our value.
• 9:36
  Karol: And I think that helped us in selecting our vendors.
• 9:39
  Karol: So I think it helped narrow down vendors with those kind of criteria.
• 9:43
  Karol: But then what we met with them, really being able to kind of see if they are also valuing the community, the relationships of people versus just the product and the service that really mattered to us.
• 9:54
  Karol: And so I think that helped us be kind of a guiding post for putting our money where our mouth is and who we should be giving that money to.
• 10:04
  Jacque: Yeah, it also was a matter of comfort and just acknowledging these are the people that might be following you around all day during one of the most important days of your life.
• 10:15
  Jacque: And so, yes, you check these boxes, but it was also a vibe.
• 10:20
  Jacque: It was an energy.
• 10:21
  Jacque: There are some extremely talented people out there that we were really interested in their work, but then we met with them and we're like, I don't know if like your energy is like the Yeah, not passing the bad check.
• 10:37
  Jacque: Exactly, exactly, and it could be for you know, maybe they had an off day.
• 10:41
  Jacque: We actually met like multiple times just to make sure maybe they're having a bad day, and it's you know, it's hard out here, but then it was that much easier when we did connect with someone to be like, Yeah, we want you around, we can see you interacting with the guests and again making it a comfortable place for them too.
• 11:04
  Jacque: So yeah, it was kind of like a multi-step process.
• 11:08
  Kristy Silva: Yeah, I feel like sometimes when I ask couples about their vendors, or even like when I'm talking to people before they book us, and I'm like, What are you looking for?
• 11:15
  Kristy Silva: in a planner, vibes almost always comes up as an answer, but people are always feel like that they're being like silly for saying it.
• 11:24
  Kristy Silva: That's not a real answer, but I mean it it is.
• 11:26
  Kristy Silva: It comes in that is very valid, and I think you put it perfectly of that, especially with photography and videography, they are following you around all day.
• 11:37
  Kristy Silva: And so those better be people who you're comfortable having around you and who you'll be able to be yourself and relaxed, because you want that in your video and you want that in your photos, is not you feeling tense and being very aware that there's a camera in your face.
• 11:52
  Kristy Silva: You want to just be in the moment and the best photographers and the best videographers, they they do that, and also will vary from person to person, from couple to couple on what it is that you're looking for in vibes, what makes you comfortable, you know.
• 12:06
  Kristy Silva: Maybe the people who you chose wouldn't be the right fit for for somebody else, and so yeah, that's why those conversations are are really important, right?
• 12:15
  Jacque: Yeah, yeah.
• 12:16
  Jacque: We also had to kind of like check ourselves.
• 12:19
  Jacque: There's some times where it's usually me who has fancier treaties, I gotta be honest.
• 12:25
  Jacque: And I'm like, we need this, I don't know, specialty thing, and and the vibes are great, you know, the energy was great, and then I don't know, we'd kind of have a reflection period of like we're getting married at a summer camp.
• 12:38
  Jacque: You know, we're getting at married at a youth camp, and it we don't need the fanciest cocktails that are, you know, like so I don't know, like made from this rare tree.
• 12:52
  Jacque: And I mean, like we we needed, I needed to kind of vibe check the the vendor, but also vibe check with the whole space, yeah.
• 13:02
  Karol: Yeah, the whole event.
• 13:03
  Jacque: Right, right.
• 13:04
  Karol: And the similar like when you were doing your wedding dress, yeah, you know, like the the vibe check right, right.
• 13:11
  Jacque: When I went wet wedding dress shopping, there were all these dresses that were gorgeous, but I'm like, can I see this at a summer camp?
• 13:18
  Jacque: You know, and a lot of it was no, so but but there was a yes, and it was perfect.
• 13:24
  Karol: So you said when we renew our vows, I have the perfect dress when we get married on a castle.
• 13:29
  Jacque: Yeah, castle vow renewal.
• 13:32
  Kristy Silva: That's right.
• 13:33
  Kristy Silva: If you're black tie, vow renewal, then coming on a horse.
• 13:37
  Kristy Silva: Yes, yeah, bring in the specialty cocktails, like that's that's that's a really good point.
• 13:47
  Kristy Silva: And sometimes those things come up for budget reasons, and you know, is sometimes the reason that a a vendor gets eliminated from the the decision pool.
• 13:58
  Kristy Silva: And yeah, sometimes it is just if we were planning a different event, this would be the right fit, but um, it's not the right fit for for this event.
• 14:05
  Kristy Silva: Um but I would love to hear about how you found your vendors, I think, especially since you wanted people who were part of your community, or maybe it's people who you knew them and would love to hear about that if there was like referrals you know that brought you to people, if it was looking online, but how you found your vendors that you were looking for.
• 14:25
  Jacque: It's a little bit of everything we had for the venue.
• 14:30
  Jacque: Our friends had gotten married at that same location, but it was over 10 years ago, yeah, and it was sad to hear what it cost.
• 14:41
  Jacque: Not what we're paying, but but then I went randomly on a field trip there.
• 14:48
  Jacque: I was a like a chaperone, and so it came really naturally to just be in this space with my future stepchild, and I was like, this feels you know, this feels right.
• 14:59
  Jacque: And for other vendors that are maybe less known for our desserts, we have a mother and daughter who work at the farmer's market near us, and you know, like they are smaller, but they're just so good, and we want we want to see them, you know.
• 15:21
  Karol: Yes, exactly.
• 15:22
  Karol: I mean, I guess I don't have an exact percentage, but maybe 50, 60 percent of our vendors we know in one way or or the other.
• 15:31
  Karol: Either I have seen them, uh, referral from uh somebody we know or trust, and then I also think we did some you know, Facebook searching, Instagram, and so did some research, then personal relationships, and then met with people to see again what what what what works.
• 15:52
  Jacque: And for the ones that maybe don't have as much experience in the wedding industry, we had to ask ourselves are we willing to some of them didn't have a contract really, you know, and they had to create one, and you know, and it's like they're they're just starting that process, and that was worth it to us to to have them be part of the wedding.
• 16:18
  Jacque: Versus other people, you know, they might just want that kind of insurance of like they've done this a million times, they know how to do it, and they we don't have to worry about it.
• 16:28
  Jacque: So I think for the most part we worked a little bit harder on on making sure that like we did eventually get the contract, you know, we're we're doing it appropriately.
• 16:39
  Jacque: Yeah.
• 16:41
  Karol: I think miss something that is maybe a tangent, but I think relevant to the conversation is that we both are event planners, not for weddings, but in other spaces.
• 16:50
  Karol: And so I do think we are very knowledgeable in terms of what needs to get done.
• 16:55
  Karol: So even if there was a a vendor who was just starting out, again, we could kind of provide that support because we trust them and their products and who they are as people that we could kind of put our money with them and help them through that process.
• 17:09
  Karol: It's very exciting to have been part of somebody's kind of beginnings of their business.
• 17:13
  Karol: Right.
• 17:14
  Kristy Silva: Yeah, I love that.
• 17:15
  Kristy Silva: I mean, I'm I'm so glad that people took the chance on me when I first started, you know.
• 17:20
  Kristy Silva: Everyone has to do their first wedding somehow, right?
• 17:24
  Kristy Silva: And so someone has to be the person who's okay it being your first.
• 17:28
  Kristy Silva: And sometimes you don't mention as your first, you know, when you're having the conversation with people.
• 17:33
  Kristy Silva: But it's usually pretty clear if you're new to the industry, you don't have as much of a portfolio online, you maybe don't even have a contract, right?
• 17:40
  Kristy Silva: Those really early stages.
• 17:42
  Kristy Silva: But the only reason that vendors are able to to grow is because people took a chance on them early.
• 17:49
  Kristy Silva: So I think it's it's great that you're you're willing to do that while still and you're still being smart about it, like you said.
• 17:54
  Kristy Silva: You know, you're making sure that you're getting things in writing and they don't have a contract, please put something together for you all to sign and agree on.
• 18:02
  Kristy Silva: So it's not just a handshake deal sort of thing.
• 18:05
  Kristy Silva: But uh that it can still come together in that way.
• 18:09
  Kristy Silva: And also I feel like I don't know if this is true for y'all, but I know this can be true for some other people, is you might also think about which vendors you're more willing to do that for versus others.
• 18:21
  Kristy Silva: For example, you might want a caterer who has catering experience, yeah, right, over someone who who doesn't, but you might be more willing to have maybe a first-time photographer as long as you they you like their their pictures, but for other people it could be the opposite, you know, where they're like, No, I want a photographer who has done this a million times.
• 18:40
  Kristy Silva: We're catering as long as there's food.
• 18:42
  Kristy Silva: We're working.
• 18:43
  Kristy Silva: So it goes back to like what your priorities are.
• 18:47
  Kristy Silva: Yeah.
• 18:49
  Jacque: Yeah.
• 18:49
  Jacque: Yeah.
• 18:50
  Jacque: We yeah, so we did get an established caterer, but then yeah, desserts, right, is a smaller business.
• 18:57
  Jacque: Um people are already full, right?
• 19:00
  Jacque: And so, you know, with just yeah, the yeah, less risk, right?
• 19:05
  Jacque: It was the other way around.
• 19:06
  Jacque: For us, yeah, yeah.
• 19:07
  Jacque: And then for our photographer, that is a more experienced person, but our videographer, that was kind of like an add-on.
• 19:17
  Jacque: I think that's something that that you mentioned at one point of of a lot of people, that's the first thing to to cut really is is videography.
• 19:26
  Jacque: So we're like, if it's already an add-on, you know, we can take a little bit more of a risk um with people who are, I guess, experienced in film, but not weddings.
• 19:36
  Jacque: Um and any any others that you can think of.
• 19:40
  Jacque: The the the bartender circumstances, the bartenders, they're like cute best friends.
• 19:47
  Jacque: It's not super fancy, but it's good.
• 19:50
  Jacque: Yeah, they're gonna help people have a good time, you know?
• 19:53
  Jacque: And we felt very comfortable with them.
• 19:56
  Jacque: So yeah.
• 19:58
  Kristy Silva: Yeah, love that.
• 19:59
  Kristy Silva: And speaking of vendors, we talked a bit about your venue.
• 20:03
  Kristy Silva: So your venue is a it is a summer camp, but it was also it's an established venue that does events.
• 20:09
  Kristy Silva: The speaking of vendors that have experience, but yeah, so you're getting married this fall at Camp Putack, which is just north of Baltimore, and is a summer campground that also is used throughout the year for for other things.
• 20:23
  Kristy Silva: So tell us how you landed on that decision.
• 20:27
  Kristy Silva: I know you mentioned you were there on a field trip and we're like it had there's a friend who had been there, but why summer camp versus a more quote unquote traditional wedding venue?
• 20:38
  Karol: Why not that's okay?
• 20:40
  Karol: I think a couple of things come to mind.
• 20:43
  Karol: So one is that we are having people come from different coasts.
• 20:50
  Karol: So we're currently in Maryland, we have people coming from you know, West Coast, coming from the south, and so if they're already coming, we were like, why not make it an entire experience?
• 21:00
  Karol: And I think it kind of goes back to our value of community and building community, and so it's not only just we're bringing our community together, but how do we continue to create and foster community within those people?
• 21:12
  Karol: And so one way to do that is through kind of an immersive experience.
• 21:16
  Karol: So I thought, you know, we we thought like, why not make it an extended stay?
• 21:21
  Karol: And I selfishly didn't get to go to summer camp as a kid.
• 21:27
  Karol: So why neither get going to summer camp as an adult?
• 21:31
  Karol: I mean, why not?
• 21:33
  Karol: And so I do think that the summer camp theme really again aligns with that with that priority of ours of community and the meaningful experiences, which was number two.
• 21:45
  Karol: So yep.
• 21:47
  Jacque: Uh I would also say we a lot of our relationship has had really happy memories uh glamping.
• 21:55
  Jacque: We don't rough it, but we do uh going to you.
• 21:59
  Jacque: know the the state parks and getting a cabin for a cheap and we've just had some really like wonderful conversations about our relationship in those spaces.
• 22:11
  Jacque: Like nature kind of brings that out of people and that aligned with people connecting, you know, during our wedding.
• 22:21
  Jacque: I'm from the Pacific Northwest so it reminded me obviously a little bit of like that area too.
• 22:27
  Jacque: Yeah.
• 22:28
  Jacque: And yeah just like I don't know what like a campfire does something to people you know like just we just wanted that that type of energy.
• 22:38
  Jacque: It was also the same price for three days as it was for like five hours at a museum in Baltimore City.
• 22:47
  Jacque: And people would have to pay for their own lodging.
• 22:50
  Jacque: So we were just like it's yeah it checks all the boxes when we did our tour really loved Elizabeth's she went there as a kid and she just loves it and now she works there.
• 23:04
  Jacque: And then got married there this year.
• 23:06
  Jacque: Yeah she's getting married there this year.
• 23:08
  Jacque: And then everyone that we have connected with who have gotten married there have the same it's like we're part of a little club you know of people who prioritize spending quality time with those that they love and creating opportunities through activities because that's the other aspect of it.
• 23:30
  Jacque: You can't have a three-day camp wedding and not plan activities during that time.
• 23:36
  Jacque: Yeah.
• 23:36
  Jacque: So being intentional intentional about casual super fun opportunities for people to connect.
• 23:45
  Kristy Silva: Yeah and tell me tell me more about some ideas that you have for that or things that you've already planned knowing that this you know won't come out until your wedding's already happened so you don't have to worry about spoiling it for your your guests if anything is a surprise.
• 23:58
  Kristy Silva: What kinds of activities are you planning for the for the weekend?
• 24:02
  Karol: Yeah it'll be interesting what we say and then what actually happens don't say no no I mean we'll have our we'll have our second conversation afterwards so we'll we'll debrief no we're so excited so again on Friday we are going to be spending time setting up our venue and we invite our guests in the RSVP form to join us in that process.
• 24:26
  Karol: So I think there is still something about kind of co-creating the space together being able to let go some of that power and vision and say okay here are the supplies and let's let's do it we trust whatever you come up with is going to be amazing.
• 24:42
  Karol: And so I think that there's kind of a deeper investment from folks that help create the space and we know not everyone will have the opportunity to do that but so Friday we'll be focused on doing some setting up as well as having a meal together so we have a dinner plan.
• 24:58
  Jacque: My my yeah my brother and my mom are gonna make a Nigerian feast for people.
• 25:05
  Karol: And then after that we're going to Karol used to do you want to talk about what he used to do sure I used to coordinate a monthly LGPTQ Latin dancing event in Baltimore City and so I was able to have the instructor come back and so we'll have kind of camp caliente and oh I love that how fun bachata dance lesson and then that'll prepare folks for Saturday where we will be having bachata it won't only be bachata but when when that opportunity presents themselves and people will have had some lesson they'll be ready.
• 25:42
  Jacque: Yes and of course a a campfire yeah closing out the night with a campfire and then Saturday so oh my gosh okay so I think to back up about camp activities too is we originally were like I think we're gonna plan all these activities and maybe people can lead them or something kind of like more organized in that way of like we're we had talked about like we want tie-dye you know at our at our wedding maybe someone can lead that but we kind of I I feel like I had an epiphany during conversation about skill sharing so now in our RSVP form we are inviting people to bring their skill to have at our wedding and that could be leading a hike or leading an arts and crafts lesson we have a lot of artists coming to our wedding it can also be teaching someone about your passion.
• 26:48
  Jacque: We have some people that are really like musicians musicians right tell me about the history of the flute and why it's you know just share your passion with people that is something that is very wonderful to like witness people sharing things that they love.
• 27:06
  Karol: So we don't actually know in in in this part yeah we don't I you can go ahead well I mean I think that there are some pre-planned things right but I do think back to what Jacque's saying it it continues to kind of uplift the community itself that it's not just us but that there are so many amazing people coming and so how do we share that with others so there are some pre-planned that we've coordinated with the the camp so we'll have like archery and zip lining but the other activities will be it are still a surprise to us because it'll be what kind of the community decides to bring and it's been really fun to like see during the RSVP process some ideas that they've already brought to their to their forum so one person is really interested in roasting their own coffee and so they want to maybe do a little session on that.
• 28:03
  Karol: And then for Sunday a little bit of the same of people you know teaching others or facilitating so back to the schedule I guess chronological so yeah Saturday morning we'll be doing some camp activities and then our ceremony reception will be Saturday afternoon but as part of the reception we will also be doing a drag show so we're very excited about that.
• 28:29
  Jacque: And then on Sunday we booked massages to see if people will come and I don't know just I feel like people are gonna be like tired and achy from dancing all night.
• 28:45
  Jacque: So that's a fun activity.
• 28:47
  Karol: So yeah wellness is kind of the maybe the theme or sub theme of Sunday morning.
• 28:53
  Karol: So yeah you kind of recenter ourselves after Saturday.
• 28:58
  Kristy Silva: Yeah I love that I wish I wish every wedding had a massage the day after that that would be great.
• 29:04
  Kristy Silva: Everyone listening make sure you add that to your list of vendors to book a Sunday brunch by my family from Nicarawa so we'll have Nick Ragan brunch okay so you'll have so both your families are doing food on either end of the the wedding oh that's great to be able to bring that in are there any other cultural elements that are part of the wedding for the two of you I don't think this is necessarily cultural in a traditional term but I do think that Karol loves moving their body so much and loves dancing.
• 29:43
  Jacque: And so when it came to what kind of music you know we're gonna play during the ceremony you know it's it's traditionally a slower song.
• 29:57
  Jacque: But you mean like walking down the aisle but I think we're it's gonna be a party and it's gonna be non-traditional music walking down the aisle.
• 30:06
  Jacque: Dancing and and you know we had I I I had one person I asked you know if there's anything different they would do in their wedding and they said like not be so serious.
• 30:21
  Jacque: Have have a more fun and be okay with like funniness you know and like and so I think that helps me to like lean into it.
• 30:32
  Jacque: You know when I first heard you know with like when this was first introduced I was like okay I don't know about that song I want to play.
• 30:43
  Jacque: Yeah but now I'm doing a fun song I'm definitely gonna break it down down the aisle which I originally but I I do think that's gonna make for a very joyous moment.
• 30:54
  Kristy Silva: It's gonna set the tone yeah yeah yeah yeah absolutely it sets the tone and no offense to the traditional ceremony and aisle music but I I do think that that is especially if you I feel like most couples like to think of themselves as a as a fun couple you know as fun people that then are like afraid to bring that part of themselves to their wedding and to me it'd be like in an ideal world your wedding is the most authentic versions of yourselves right it would it be the ideal situation because that's what you're committing to each other is you're to accept each other for who you are and also you hope that your friends and family will will do the the same.
• 31:38
  Kristy Silva: And so if it feels true to you to be more serious at your wedding then more power to you.
• 31:43
  Kristy Silva: But if it doesn't and it feels like you are putting on a mask or a performance and not the fun kind of performance not a dry performance they have then you know I feel like it does take away from it a bit.
• 31:55
  Kristy Silva: So um I love the idea of being like no actually we we want this to be fun so we're gonna make it we're gonna make it fun.
• 32:00
  Kristy Silva: So you mentioned you know kind of the different activities that you'll be doing and including some kind of traditional camp activities.
• 32:09
  Kristy Silva: I love the archery and the zip lining and but then you also have the non-camp activities.
• 32:15
  Kristy Silva: Well I mean I guess you could say that direct performers are camp but the other kind of camp um but you know what would you say that at least right now that you're like most excited for when it comes to your wedding weekend and you have a lot to look forward to.
• 32:29
  Karol: It's hard to kind of pinpoint a specific thing because I'm really looking forward to the the whole experience and you know how it comes together.
• 32:38
  Karol: I think other elements that are coming out is for example during the dancing portion we know that there's going to be people who are not into dancing and so we have kind of other activities that will be set up for folks that are more introverted or who are wanting to kind of get away from loud music.
• 32:57
  Karol: So how do we make sure that everyone is able to enjoy the experience and not just the people who want to dance all night even even Jacque was like Karol I will not be on the dance floor all night I probably but you know we we thought about okay are there are there things that we we can be doing that continue to bring people together but also not be too too much out of their comfort zone.
• 33:21
  Karol: So yeah I'm just looking kind of looking forward to the whole thing coming together and hopefully people having an amazing time making some really good memories having some laughs with other folks and yeah just kind of remembering this not just of Karol and Jacque's wedding but we actually we call it Camp Amore.
• 33:39
  Karol: So they remember kind of their weekend at Camp Amore.
• 33:42
  Jacque: I'm looking forward to many of the first moments so when the first guests arrive oh I'm gonna lose it I'm like oh I can't believe that they're here they're going and they're you know when they come with like their sleeping bags just that they're like they're willing to to you know spend this much time with us and and celebrate us and then committing to being in community is a daunting thing you know for a lot of people and and so putting that towards the back you know and letting kind of love lead them into the weekend sound it I don't know I'm just gonna be so happy whenever I see someone arriving with their stuff.
• 34:25
  Jacque: Definitely seeing Karol down the aisle I I think that that's we're not doing first look.
• 34:31
  Jacque: Right right so the first look will be you know at the ceremony and I I think like when I when I think about it I'm just gonna be like crying and laughing and I think just the the mess of emotions will be just I don't know so unique and special and I'm excited that moment where I get to kind of take my makeup off and my dress off and put on sweatpants and a sweatshirt and out and enjoy the pe you know what I mean?
• 35:03
  Jacque: I don't know it's it's kind of that that it's just not it's not over when the reception is over, you know it's just we get to spend a little bit more time.
• 35:14
  Jacque: Yeah that that's gonna feel really nice too.
• 35:17
  Karol: Something that I was reminded is that we've been very fortunate in the past year to attend three other weddings and so that has been amazing because we've been able to kind of experience kind of have a preview experience of what that's like and I don't think there's been a wedding that I have not tried at so we're gonna we know that that's gonna happen.
• 35:41
  Karol: But it's also been pretty neat to find inspiration in every single wedding and be like oh that's a really good idea maybe we should think about incorporating that so yeah I think that that also reminded me of just being able to be excited of almost continuing to bring our community within our own wedding because we're like taking pieces of their stuff permission we got permission.
• 36:06
  Kristy Silva: Yes we did we did ask them and people like I think it's also you know flattery is what's what is it imitation is the highest flattery thank you that's something something like that right yeah no that's true though it's yeah you liked it enough that you that you want to do it I I do think that if it should be taken as a as a compliment um rather than you know that you're like sealing it or something.
• 36:29
  Kristy Silva: Especially since I'm sure that you're making it your own right whatever like the inspiration is you're taking that and making it applicable to to you.
• 36:38
  Kristy Silva: So I think that's great.
• 36:39
  Kristy Silva: Awesome.
• 36:40
  Jacque: Is there anything that you're nervous about for the weekend one thing to do a seating chart for dinner it's another thing completely to assign sleeping arrangements for for our guests.
• 36:52
  Jacque: Making the RSVP form I think was something I was really nervous about because it has to be so detailed because some people maybe are sleeping on site one night some are sleeping outside two nights some have kids don't want their privacy there and some have kids and they're like throw with the other kids right and their preferences when it comes to sleeping especially as you get older and older right yeah you need a certain a certain way to sleep and so I am not looking forward to I think it's leaning a little bit more into the people pleaser you know area like I want every to be the most comfortable and have what they want but at some point that's just it it we can't give every single person their own their own cabin.
• 37:37
  Jacque: Yeah that's not gonna happen.
• 37:39
  Jacque: So they know what they're signing up for you know so I would I would hope.
• 37:45
  Jacque: So yeah I I think I'm not even thinking about this we haven't thought about the seating chart at all because it would be fine because yeah yeah people sleeping is is definitely a challenge.
• 37:58
  Kristy Silva: And we didn't really talk about this earlier but I guess also just like clarification for those who are listening and might be curious are all of your guests staying on site or is it a mix?
• 38:09
  Karol: So we are giving people the option of staying with us.
• 38:13
  Karol: So it's part of the R C P we do have the ability of housing everyone that we invite.
• 38:19
  Karol: Okay we know some people have preferences and either stay in an Airbnb or a hotel or maybe our local and are choosing to drive in each day to join us.
• 38:29
  Karol: Yeah.
• 38:30
  Karol: So in the RSVP they they let us know if they want to stay on site and then how many nights.
• 38:36
  Jacque: Yeah so the I guess a more difficult part of that too is we're not gonna know how many people are in a cabin until we have their full RSVPs and then we can assign people you know so maybe it's gonna be really packed and someone was like oh I would have s maybe I want to stay outside but I didn't know it was going to be this packed and you know there's just there's just a lot up in the air.
• 39:01
  Karol: So yeah what was what are you maybe nervous about or trying nothing enterpic I don't know I think it's a very selfish thing but I am nervous about being bored like the hours before ceremony because I'm not doing a a big complicated setup.
• 39:19
  Karol: You know I my I'm picking up my my suit this weekend and I'm so excited for that but you know I don't have to really do too much to my hair and and so I I you know I've been telling her that I'm like I'm so scared of being like alone but I probably won't be but probably I don't know just like she has a whole village of people will be in her cabin helping her get ready and I'm like I'm just gonna go walk around the campsite until it's time to get married you know so I think that's something that it makes me a little nervous.
• 39:58
  Jacque: So it sounds like a to-do for you might be to rally some people to hang out with you in the morning just so that you don't make a plan feel like you're wandering with the people you know I'm gonna do this with this person.
• 40:10
  Jacque: I'm gonna go for a run with Hannah or whatever, you know?
• 40:12
  Jacque: Yeah.
• 40:14
  Jacque: Yeah I I like I don't think that's gonna happen, you know, but yeah I think it's gonna be it's gonna be great.
• 40:22
  Kristy Silva: It's gonna it's gonna be great.
• 40:23
  Kristy Silva: That's the nice part about having everyone on site and so it's gonna be I'm sure a mix of people who maybe you see all the time really close friends but then I'm sure there's also gonna be people who you don't get to see as often who you'll be excited to catch up with and they'll be excited to catch up with you.
• 40:38
  Kristy Silva: I always tell couples that on your wedding day and for y'all it's the whole weekend like you're celebrities.
• 40:43
  Kristy Silva: Like everyone wants to talk to you and you know be around you.
• 40:49
  Kristy Silva: Yeah so you'll you'll never be alone I guess what I'm saying because anytime that you're not act talking to someone for someone that's oh this is my opportunity to be the one to be talking to you.
• 40:57
  Kristy Silva: So I think you'll find that you might want more lone time than you're gonna get Karol's all extroverts so not getting so that's just so deeply unrelatable to me that I can't imagine.
• 41:08
  Kristy Silva: I'm like please I just need like 10 minutes.
• 41:11
  Kristy Silva: Well it's been so great talking with you both and we're just about at time here.
• 41:15
  Kristy Silva: So as a closing question knowing that we plan to come back and debrief after your wedding to hear how it all went which I'm so excited for is there anything that you want to tell your future selves when we come back and that you'll be you'll be married your wedding will have happened or a question for yourselves.
• 41:37
  Jacque: Maybe so maybe a statement or a question I'll open that up I'm I'm just really curious how many people are gonna stay on site you know just be in it.
• 41:47
  Jacque: I just I I have this sense that I'm gonna feel really calm and and just in in a bliss mode and and that's what's keeping the train chugging I'm just so excited for the the after to as well so yeah yeah I think I'm looking forward to reflecting back.
• 42:10
  Karol: So I'm looking forward to our conversation it has been an amazing process planning our wedding we've had some disagreements but we've been able to kind of resolve and compromise and get to just I think I'm I'm just so excited for our wedding and so I'm looking forward to it.
• 42:30
  Karol: I don't feel like it's one of those oh I'm gonna be so grateful when it's done because it's just kind of like the beginning and so yeah I'm just I'm just excited for for the experience.
• 42:40
  Kristy Silva: I'm so happy to hear that and you should be excited and I think that's the right attitude to go into it with and yeah I'm also excited to get to hear y'all reflect on it when I see a a few months from now.
• 42:53
  Kristy Silva: But yeah but again thank you both so much for your time for sharing I'm so excited for everyone to get to hear this episode.
• 43:01
  Kristy Silva: I think there's so many good takeaways that people are going to have and so I can't wait.
• 43:07
  Kristy Silva: But yeah thank you both again.
• 43:09
  Karol: Thank you.
• 43:12
  Kristy Silva: Thank you so much Jacque and Karol for your time and your willingness to take a step back and talk about your wedding planning experience while you're still in the middle of it.
• 43:21
  Kristy Silva: When you are listening to this their wedding has officially happened and I was there and it was amazing and I'm so excited to talk with them again very soon to debrief the whole weekend and to make sure you don't miss that follow-up conversation, which will be out in just a few weeks don't forget to hit follow or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.
• 43:39
  Kristy Silva: New episodes drop every week and will alternate between an interview with a couple like the one that you heard today and an advice episode either with just me or sometimes with a guest.
• 43:48
  Kristy Silva: Thank you for listening to the Planning Out Loud Podcast.
• 43:51
  Kristy Silva: I'll catch you next time.
• 43:52
  Kristy Silva: Bye