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How do narcissists get so good at manipulation? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  So how are narcissists and toxic people so good at manipulating?
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  How? How are they so Dang on cunning.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist.
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  And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  All right, welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Hop right into it.
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  Let's hop right into this, into the mix and whatnot.
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  Y'all, How are narcissistic people so good at manipulation?
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  How are they so good at getting away with things and gaslighting
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  and convincing you that you are wrong and deflecting blame like
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  a tennis ball? Like, you know, they they they
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  act like they Serena Williams deflecting tennis balls back at
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  you. You see what I'm saying?
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  But that happens. Like, so how do they get so good
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  at it? You know, let me, let me start
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  off by saying this narcissistic people are not all smart,
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  master. They're not all smart people.
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  Let's just say that right there. I'm not going to say narcissists
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  are dumb because if you if you if y'all just agree, like, no,
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  no, narcissists are super dumb, they're all so stupid, then you
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  got to kind of take a look just like, OK, they're stupid.
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  But you you see, you see how I'm going with this.
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  You know, not all narcissists are dumb, but you don't have to
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  be dumb or smart to be a manipulator.
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  You don't have to be weak to get manipulated.
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  It's just like narcissistic people get so good at
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  manipulation because it's survival.
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  You know, get so good at manipulating people,
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  manipulating others, because that's how we learn how to
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  survive in our childhood. That's how we learn how to
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  survive growing up. That's how we learn how to
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  survive. Coming, you know, coming up into
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  this world, that's how we learned.
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  That's part of the process. That's how we got here in the
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  1st place. You know what I mean?
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  So that's one of the things that that can happen with
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  narcissistic people is that like when we are growing up, we are
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  always on self-defense. Very rarely do we feel safe
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  growing up, right? So we learn how to manipulate
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  and defend ourselves against other people.
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  Typically it's the abusive parent that we had on the
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  neglectful parent that we had growing up, right?
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  That's typically how it goes. But most times in these
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  situations, narcissistic people like, it's just it, it becomes
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  an innate behavior, you know, it's just like, damn, I'm I'm,
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  I'm just doing this subconsciously, you know, And
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  the more and just like playing sports or just like, you know,
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  just like playing sports or doing anything and doing
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  anything like that, the more you do it, the better you get at it,
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  you know? The more the more consistent I
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  am with toxic being manipulative, the more toxic I
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  am, the more the older I get, The more experience I have, the
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  better I get at manipulating people, you know?
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  So I'm going to be a better manipulator as an adult that has
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  been through 10/15/20 relationships than I was as a
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  prepuset as a teenager in my first relationship.
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  In my third relationship, you see what I'm saying?
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  Like I learn as I go. And like a lot of narcissistic
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  people learn as they go along. You know, what worked on you or
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  what didn't work on you, might not work or or might work on the
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  next person in the new supply. You see the things they learn as
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  they go, they learn as they go and they learn as they grow.
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  So that's why I try to convince people to say, hey look, this
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  narcissistic person that you're with right now, they might look,
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  they might be absolutely just detrimentally detrimentally
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  toxic to everyone around them, but they learned it from
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  somewhere. They got it from somewhere.
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  They didn't just wake up toxic as hell.
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  They they weren't born toxic. And you know, self-defense
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  manipulation, they a lot, a lot of times it's environmental.
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  The manipulation becomes a a side effect of the environment
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  that they are in and the environment that we grow up in,
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  the environment that we are a part of pretty much, you know,
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  that becomes part of this dynamic and whatnot.
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  So that's why I try to tell people I just like, I want
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  people to heal and learn and grow.
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  But when you're dealing with narcissists, so narcissistic
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  people, like if you or their sixth wife or their sixth
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  marriage, their 6th husband, they're going to be better at
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  manipulating you than you are, than they were with the first
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  part, the first spouse, you know.
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  And like I said, they learn as they go, they learn as they go
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  and they learn as they grow. Like we get it.
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  We pick up new traits and new techniques from from our own
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  personal experience or or or from our own parents like the
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  abusive or neglectful parent that we had.
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  They might have contributed to us being narcissistic.
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  We learn from them If we're watching our parent, one parent
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  be toxic as hell and manipulative to the other or
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  cheat and abuse the other parent.
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  If we are learning those behaviours as well, we will pick
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  it up on those behaviours as well.
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  They're right in front of us you know, this is our for our first
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  little narcissism, you know like is there a class, Did narcissist
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  learn, pick up their traits from how to be manipulated?
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  Yeah, a lot of times the first classroom is their home.
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  You know, they get homeschooled for narcissism.
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  You know, it's a homeschool for narcissism.
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  Like, for real. I know it sounds silly, but
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  that's how it goes in the mindset of a lot of toxic,
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  narcissistic, abusive people. Like, they get homeschooled,
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  they learn it from home and they take it out into the world, real
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  will. They take it out into the real
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  world and they perfect their craft.
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  They hone in on their craft, You know, they hone in on it.
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  They wake up and they just keep doing it and getting worse and
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  getting worse and getting worse. They get worse than how they
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  treat people, but they get better at manipulating people.
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  So that's why I just tell people, just because you see
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  somebody in a long term relationship with a toxic with
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  your toxic narcissistic ex, doesn't mean that that person is
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  happy with them. Now they could be just like you
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  were a victim. They could be a victim as well,
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  but they're just getting a different form of manipulation
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  because some people are just being realistic.
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  Some people might be more susceptible to manipulation.
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  They might be in a vulnerable state.
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  You know, you might be in a vulnerable state.
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  That narcissistic person might be going through a moment of
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  grief. They learn how to use grief in
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  their circumstances to guilt you into believing them or
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  forgetting things, or forgiving them and whatnot, or just moving
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  past certain issues. Just the situation is very
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  important. So narcissistic people tend to
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  use their situation and their environments as an excuse for
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  their toxic behaviors. So they convince you if you're a
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  kind, caring, empathetic person is you might be easier to
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  manipulate by a narcissistic person that is praying and
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  playing on your emotional state. That is playing or praying on
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  your your the mindset that you have like what you possessing
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  what you have going on right now, that's a that's a distinct
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  possibility of what is going on, of what is what is happening and
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  what not. So that's why I want to tell
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  people I just like narcissistic people the the more and like and
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  this is going to this is going to sound crazy.
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  No, no, it does not going to sound crazy.
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  The more chances you give them, the better.
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  They might become at manipulating you, or just
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  thinking that they can get away with it, or just thinking that
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  you accept their behaviors. Whatever their behaviors are,
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  they think you you are accepting of the behaviors.
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  So they try to manipulate you into thinking that you're OK
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  with the behaviors you know they learn from.
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  They learn from experience, like experience.
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  It tends to be experience is the best teacher.
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  So if I'm learning, if I get into this experience from home,
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  then I'm going to be better at manipulating people.
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  I'm going to be better at getting inside of people's minds
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  and whatnot. So I take what I learn from
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  home. I got an A+ at home school and
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  narcissism, home school, narcissistic home school
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  manipulation. one-on-one, I got an A+.
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  I'm the I'm the valedictorian of home school.
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  You know, I graduated summa cum laude from home school in
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  narcissism with a degree in toxic manipulation, toxic
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  manipulation, and narcissism with a minor in gaslighting.
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  Because that's what happens. Y'all.
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  It's this defense mechanism. And sometimes, and let's just be
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  realistic, they just get lucky. Some of the stuff that they say
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  is so outlandish and so outrageous that they just get
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  lucky with this stuff and and some of it might feel true.
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  They like they they use a little bit of the truth and expound
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  upon it. When they use a little bit of
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  the truth and cover it in lies, you know, it's kind of like a
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  lollipop. I had a bubble gum as in the
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  center of a lollipop. They covered a lollipop up with
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  poop. There's bubble gum in the
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  center. The truth is in the center, but
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  the rest of it is poop. You know what I mean?
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  Anyways, y'all, I'm going to keep this episode super short
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  and super sweet to the point. Y'all make sure you subscribe to
• 8:37
  the channel and subscribe to the newsletter.
• 8:39
  Check out my course. The course is coming out
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  tomorrow. The course is going to get
• 8:43
  released tomorrow. My my first course.
• 8:46
  Understanding the seven stages of a narcissistic relationship.
• 8:49
  I'm getting released is getting released tomorrow, so join the
• 8:52
  e-mail list. I'll send the e-mail out here
• 8:54
  pretty soon and whatnot. Thank you for tuning in.
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  Mental Illness is out peace. Thank you so much for making it
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  to the end of my video. You are a mental illness rock
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  star and I appreciate you for being here.
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• 9:14
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• 9:17
  out. Thank you.
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  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.