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77: Monday Moment: I Really Am Great… You Might Be Too · Banish the Lies: Outsmart Your Inner Critic

• 0:00
  Happy Monday.
• 0:01
  Today I wanna talk about humility because I think it's something that sometimes we get wrong, or at least I did.
• 0:09
  I think somewhere along the way growing up, I learned that being humble meant making yourself a little smaller.
• 0:17
  I observed messages that weren't necessarily explicit, but they seemed to imply things like,"Don't accept compliments too readily, don't talk too openly about what you're good at, and definitely don't let your strengths make someone else feel bad." I remember, for example, if I got the highest grade on a test and somebody asked how I did, humility meant downplaying it Because what if they didn't do that well, and now they're feeling less than?
• 0:45
  Or what if sharing my success somehow changed our relationship?
• 0:50
  Looking back, however, I'm not sure that was humility.
• 0:54
  I think a lot of it was really managing other people's emotions and maybe trying to make sure I still belonged.
• 1:02
  Because true humility, I think, is much simpler.
• 1:06
  I believe it comes down to being honest.
• 1:10
  It's not overselling your strengths or believing they make you better than anyone else, but it's also not pretending that they don't exist.
• 1:18
  And I've actually been playing with this lately in a very silly way.
• 1:22
  Not long ago, I had this intuitive hit that I should call a friend of mine.
• 1:27
  When she answered, she said something like,"Oh my God, I'm so glad you called.
• 1:32
  I miss you.
• 1:33
  You're always so great to talk to." And instead of doing my usual thing of brushing it off, I said,"You know what?
• 1:39
  It's true.
• 1:40
  I am pretty great, and I thought you deserved to hear from me." Then she laughed her head off, and so did I.
• 1:47
  Obviously, I was joking, but I also think that the humor gave me a little bridge towards something I'm still learning how to do, and that's letting compliments land.
• 1:59
  To let someone appreciate me without immediately either downplaying it or batting it back across the net.
• 2:06
  And maybe you don't need to tell your friends how lucky they are to have you, although frankly, I recommend trying it at least once.
• 2:13
  Um, but maybe your version is simply saying thank you and stopping there.
• 2:18
  Because I don't think humility requires us to argue with someone who sees something good in us.
• 2:24
  I think humility is simply being willing to see ourselves accurately, the strengths and the weaknesses, the things we're still learning, and the things we're actually getting pretty damn good at.
• 2:37
  No exaggerating, but also no shrinking, just telling the truth about who we are.
• 2:43
  And perhaps the next time someone offers you a glimpse of something beautiful that they see in you, instead of explaining it away, you could just let yourself believe them, even just for a moment.
• 2:56
  Okay, have a wonderful Monday.