Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / #HURDLEMOMENT: This Is How (& What) I'm Really Doing in Quarantine — Unfiltered

Transcript

#HURDLEMOMENT: This Is How (& What) I'm Really Doing in Quarantine — Unfiltered · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I continually go back to this idea that all of
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: this is happening because we are strong enough to handle it.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Heyhurdler's Emily about it here with another installment of Hurdle
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Moment from Hurdle, I'm going to be honest with you
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: this week for Hurdle Moment, I really struggled. And I'm
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: always of the mindset that I don't want to put
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: out content that doesn't make me excited, that doesn't light
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: my soul on fire, which feels like a bold claim
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: when you're constantly putting out content. But I over the
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: weekend made an attempt to get ahead. It didn't happen
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: on Monday. I thought, Okay, it's going to be today.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: It didn't happen on Tuesday. I'm sitting at my desk,
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: it's early in the day. I'm like, I'm going to
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: work on this early. I'm not going to be doing
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: this on Tuesday night. And after hitting a little bit
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: of writer's block, so to speak for podcasters block, I
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: decided that I would go for a walk, and on
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: this walk, all of the good ideas would come to
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: me and I would know exactly what I wanted to
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: talk to you about. This week, Well, that didn't happen.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: What did happen is I ended up buying some paper towels,
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: which I needed desperately, as well as a small nail
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: polish and listened to an episode of How I Built
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: This featuring the founder of Impossible Foods. And now I'm
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: back here. And so I was reflecting on this experience
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: with a friend of mine. Some of you may know her,
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: Ali Feller, hosts of the Ali on the Run show.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: I have had her on the show before as well,
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: and I'll linker her episode in the show notes. But
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: she said to me, isn't that the episode? Don't you
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: think that maybe it's time for a little bit of
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: a check in? And you know what, Ali, you are correct.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: So here I am. I'm giving you the rundown of
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: where I'm at, how I've been occupying my time, how
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: my days look different than maybe they used to, how
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: I feel about all of this stuff that's going on,
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: how I feel about doing this alone, what my workouts
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: look like, kind of answering what I think might be
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: a lot of the questions that have been coming through
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: in my direct messages on Instagram, and also just being upfront.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: With you because I think that is exactly how at
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: least I hope to be as often as possible, just
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: honest and open and upfront with you.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: So this week, for a Hurdle moment, I'm giving you
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: an update. As always, I want to hear from you.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: I want your update as well, so if it's easier
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: to fill me in over email, I am all ears.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: It's Emily at Hurdle dot us. And of course, as
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: always you can connect with me over on social media
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: It's at Hurdle Podcasts and ATY. With that, let's get
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: to heart line. Well here I am. I think this
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: is day what sixty five, sixty six. To be honest,
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: by this point I've lost count. For those of you
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: following along with my quarantine journey on the other side
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: of this microphone or in your headphones or whatever the
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: proper term might be. I have been on lockdown, so
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: to speak, in my upper east Side apartment. I have
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: had no physical human contact in the past sixty some
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: odd days, although I have seen a few individuals from
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: a distance. I was so, so so grateful, that is
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: the biggest understatement. For a surprise from my oldest friend Tom,
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: who lives in DC, he was driving through New York
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: on his way to Connecticut to see his mom for
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: Mother's Day, facetimed me and was outside my door, and
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: I have never felt so overwhelmed and thankful to see
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: his shining face, even though it was from a safe
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: social distance. Years and years ago. Now I've lost count.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: I introduced two of my dearest friends who are now
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: married and live three blocks from me, and we kind
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: of joke that we are a family unit. At least
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: they've adopted me during this time, despite the three of
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  Speaker 1: us always also keeping a safe social distance. This weekend,
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: for the first time, we decided to sit down quote
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: unquote together, having a picnic on two different blankets on
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: my rooftop, and it was so nice just to not
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: feel so paranoid about walking around and that I'm doing
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: something wrong, and just to be able to relax. Another
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  Speaker 1: friend of mine drove down from Boston to see his
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  Speaker 1: family and swung by to see me from a distance,
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: and that made me so happy. I've seen while running
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: through the Upper West Side and other parts of Manhattan,
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: I've seen friends from far beyond arm's reach, And so yeah,
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: here I am in New York City. I miss my
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: family more than anything. My parents are both at home
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: in Connecticut, and on that note, I feel really grateful
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  Speaker 1: for this time with them, even though we're not physically together,
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  Speaker 1: because I have spoken to my parents more during this
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: time than ever before in my life. Despite being here
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: all by myself, I really do feel connected to the
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: people in my life that make me feel whole, to
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: the people that I care about. I'm constantly checking in
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: on my friends and family near and far, and a
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: lot of these habits, a lot of these practices, these
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: zoom calls. It is something that I do want to
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: bring with me as time goes forward, as we start
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: to make the shift into incorporating some of those old habits,
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: although I don't personally think it's ever gonna be like
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  Speaker 1: it was before, And you know what, we just got
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: to do the best with what we have when it
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: comes to that. And it's so interesting, you know, because
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: whenever I tell someone if I'm on a work call,
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: they're asking me where, so where are you? Where are
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: you writing this out? And I say in New York City?
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  Speaker 1: And the reaction, without fail, is always the same. It's like, oh,
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: are you okay? And I get it. When you turn
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: on the news and you hear the numbers, it sounds
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  Speaker 1: as though New York is a bit of a war zone,
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: for lack of a better designation. And I'm not saying
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  Speaker 1: it isn't quote unquote bad here, But what I am
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  Speaker 1: saying is that for me, it feels entirely the same
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  Speaker 1: and entirely different at the same time. I look out
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  Speaker 1: my window and I see that so many of my neighbors,
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  Speaker 1: the people that live across the street, I see them
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: sitting on their balconies. I see them cheering at such
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: o'clock for the people on the front lines, the essential workers,
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  Speaker 1: And it's like the soul of New York. It's still here,
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  Speaker 1: and I know you can't really mess with that. And
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  Speaker 1: we're going through this hard time, but we're in it together.
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  Speaker 1: You walk down the street and sure everyone is wearing
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  Speaker 1: a mask, and no one is out there without their
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  Speaker 1: own personal bottle of hand sanitizer, and for the most part,
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  Speaker 1: people are keeping that safe distance. So yes, it is different,
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  Speaker 1: but it just it feels at its heart, at its core,
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  Speaker 1: it feels the same, and there's just something really special
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  Speaker 1: about that. The question arises, how have I been occupying
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: my time? And I feel like time goes super fast
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: and super slow simultaneously. I've always been the kind of
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: person that starts my workday around say, ten am, and
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: that's because I'm always working on the weekend for at
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: least four or five hours, so getting a little bit
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  Speaker 1: later of a start on that work day it works
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: for me, and it's been something that I've maintained in
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  Speaker 1: the period. In the mornings, I wake up without an alarm,
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: and usually that's by six point thirty at the latest,
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: right when that sun starts to get in, I am moving.
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  Speaker 1: And now more than ever, I have a really beautiful
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  Speaker 1: morning routine that I really enjoy, which is interesting, right
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: because I've always considered myself to be a morning person,
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  Speaker 1: but now more than ever, I look forward to the
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: aspects of my morning. I wake up my phone. Now,
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  Speaker 1: for the first time in my life, I can confidently
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  Speaker 1: say that I do not keep it right next to
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  Speaker 1: my bed. Instead, I keep it charging on my desk.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: And so I'll wake up in the morning, I'll use
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  Speaker 1: the bathroom, I'll come back into my bedroom. I will
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: journal for about five to ten minutes before I even
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  Speaker 1: look at my phone for the first time. And I know,
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  Speaker 1: of course, there could be a longer morning ritual where
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  Speaker 1: the technology is not involved. But for me, this is
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  Speaker 1: a really great first step in that direction. So I journal,
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: I finally check in on my phone, and then I
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  Speaker 1: walk straight to the kitchen, where I drink a full
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: glass of water, and then back into the bedroom, where
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  Speaker 1: I get dressed and ready for whatever way I decide
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  Speaker 1: that I want to move my body. For me lately,
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  Speaker 1: that's been a big mix of walking and running as
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: I'm nursing whatever is going on in my hip, and
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: I've talked a little bit about that on the show before,
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: whether it's a bursitis, whether it's some tendinosis. I am
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: finally finally investing in strength work, and God, that feels
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  Speaker 1: good doing things like banded clamshells, a banded walks, stability exercises,
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  Speaker 1: foam rolling for my preformists, and my gluten meed spinal rotations,
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: quad poles, me hugs. I mean, God, the list of
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  Speaker 1: my exercises feels endless, but it really feels for the
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  Speaker 1: first time in a long time, I feel like I'm
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  Speaker 1: getting stronger, and I know that it might be slow,
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  Speaker 1: but I am making progress. After I work out, I shower,
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  Speaker 1: I clean up, I have breakfast, I get ready for
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  Speaker 1: the day, and then after about an hour of the workday,
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: kind of making that to do list for the day,
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  Speaker 1: writing out a quasi schedule on my whiteboard at my desk,
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  Speaker 1: getting a few emails under my belt. That's when I
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: go back into the kitchen, shake up my athletic greens,
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: and then that is my like hit head down, dive
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  Speaker 1: into the workday, get on the phone with experts, write articles,
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: work on the show, do interviews, do other people's podcasts, brainstorm,
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: send pitches. I mean, every day is different for me,
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: and again that is why I do so much appreciate
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: what I am able to do for work. On a
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: good day aka a day usually where the podcast is
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: not launching the next morning, I'm working till around five
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: point thirty. And on a day where Hurdle is launching
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: the next morning, usually I'm working to a little bit
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: later than that. Then I look forward to a glass
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: of wine or a cocktail. I feel as though I
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: have to be upfront with you that I can count
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: the amount of times on both hands in total that
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: I have not consumed some sort of drink at the
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: end of the day during this time period and At first,
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: I actually felt a little self conscious about that, but
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: I feel in control. I never feel like it gets
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: out of hand, and it's just something that makes me
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: feel like another day done. You've got this in the
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: bag and it's my treat to myself at the end
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: of the day. From less of a regimented look of
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: how I'm spending my time, I'm taking a lot more
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: time to personally reflect. I'm writing a lot again. I'm journaling,
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: like I said, every morning, I'm reading. I read Maybe
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: You Should Talk to Someone last month. I'm currently reading
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: Let Your Mind Run by Dina Castor. I have Untamed
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: by Glennon Doyle on the to do list as well
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: as so you want to talk about Race? On deck.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: I started a puzzle about three weeks ago. That's a
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: third done because this Gray Mallon photo is the hardest
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: two sided puzzle thing I've ever decided to do in
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: my life. I finally took the Plunge on Disney Plus,
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: not even realizing that it was free with my Verizon
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: phone plan. I'm having movie nights, I'm having zooms, I'm
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: having facetimes and house parties, and again, I feel like
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: time is just going by so fast and so slow
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: all at the same time. So the question comes up,
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: how do you feel doing this alone? You know, I
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: feel okay, and I feel so appreciative of so many
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: of my friends and family that check in on me
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: to make sure that I am doing okay. The truth
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: is that I really do feel constantly supported, not just
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: by my real friends and family, but also by this
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: hurdle community. And I think that's a really beautiful thing,
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: right that we've been able to show up for each
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: other during this time. I've also been really honest with
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: myself with where I'm at as the days and weeks
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: have gone on. When I feel myself getting frustrated or
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: feeling overwhelmed and I need to take a step back,
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: whether that's from social media or not committing to so
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: many zoom calls, I do it and I listen, and
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: that is something that's sure. I definitely made an effort
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: to be conscious of before when it came to not
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: saying yes all the time and over extending myself to
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: too many events or meetings or get togethers. But this time,
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: it just feels so special to really hold ownership in
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: what is good for me, what is right for me
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: at any given minute. As far as my tips for
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: anyone listening to this continuing this time solo, well, the
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: good news is that although we don't know exactly what
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: is necessarily going to change over the next few weeks,
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: over the next few months, and what you know, us
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: kind of being allowed, so to speak, to get back
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: together might look like, the good news is that there
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: is a shift coming. If you feel anxious or unsure
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: and and you know, lonely, I just want you to
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: know that you're not alone in feeling that way. And
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: something that's been really helpful for me is that right
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: when this started, I made a list of the things
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: that I genuinely wanted to do at some point during
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: this time. And I'm not talking about things like clean
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: out the kitchen closet, which is totally okay if that
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: is something you want to do at some point during
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: this time, even though it might not be like the
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: biggest joy of your life. But I'm talking about the
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: things that I put on my list. For example, start
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: an Italian course, rewatch The Little Mermaid, read that maybe
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: you should talk to someone, book, invest time in strength training,
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: buy and start using a coloring book. Brainstorm book ideas
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: I can't believe I just said that out loud. Start
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: to get rid of the clutter in my apartment. Like,
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: there are so many things that I put down on
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: this list, and so on the days where they feel long,
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: or I feel stagnant, or maybe I'm feeling extra lonely,
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: I keep going back to that list of the things
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: that I want to do during this time, and I'll
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: pick something and I'll do it. And just like with
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: any task, sometimes it's hard to get started, right. But
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: commit yourself for twenty thirty minutes to anything on your
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: this is what I want to do list, and you
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: might be surprised on how just dedicating your energy to
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: something other than maybe this feeling of ambient anxiety can
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: do you a world of good emotionally. I think the
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: lack of physical touch thing. I wrote an essay on
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: this for self dot com. That's definitely tough, right, I'd
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: say that's probably the hardest part of all of this
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: for me, aside from digesting just the everyday news and
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: hearing about the magnitude that this is impacting not just
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: you know, my local community, but of course also our
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: country and the world. But I miss holding the people
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: that I care about I miss getting a manicure. I
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: miss exchanging money if I was to ever carry around
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: money with someone at a coffee shop. I miss handshakes
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: and fist bumps and high fives after a good workout.
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: And if you feel the same way, well, you are
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: not alone. Granted, though, I will say, I wander a lot.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: I wonder what life will be like after this. I
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: think about being single in my thirties and what dating
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: will look like after this. I wonder how long my
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: hip will feel off. I wonder what I'll do for
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: my thirty second birthday on June second, when I can't
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: really get together with a lot of the people that
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: I love and drive by caravans aren't exactly New York
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: City friendly. I think about the future of my career
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: and the well being of the people I care about.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: I think about the person that I'm becoming and the
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: person that I want to be, and I continually go
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: back to this idea that all of this is happening
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: because we are strong enough to handle it. I know
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: in my gut, though, that even on the days that
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: feel a little bit frustrating, on the days where I
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: feel creatively stagnant, on the days where I'm looking to
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: my friends for advice on how to just move forward,
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: that we are going to get through this. And so
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: when you ask me, Emily, how are you, you know what.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: I'm good. We're good, We're gonna be oh okay. I
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: think I've covered all my bases. I think I've given
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: you enough of an update. And if there's anything else
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: you want to know about how I'm navigating this time,
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: advice that you are looking for, questions you might have
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: to make it easier for you. You know I always
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: want to help. All that I ask you from the
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: bottom of my heart is that you approach me with
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: the same level of compassion and kindness that I offer
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: you day in and day out. This podcast, this community,
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: you guys are literally you are my why and I
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: can't stress that enough. So I'm so happy to show
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: up for you, to be honest with you. And again,
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: We're gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay, ad Emily
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: Body at Hurdle Podcast. I'm smiling finishing this, which makes
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: me know that this was the right way to go
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: This week, Another hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next time.