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Marriage: A Matrix for Christian Hedonism | John Piper · Reformed Thinking

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Welcome to reformed thinking. The show dedicated to digging
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into scripture and theology, helping you connect the dots
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between doctrine and daily life. And now it's time for the deep
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dive. Welcome back.
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Today we're going to get into a concept that, well, can sound a
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little jarring at first, but it's absolutely central to how
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we understand God's design for relationships.
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We're starting a major deep dive into the biblical roles within
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marriage, and we're drawing on some theological sources that
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connect Genesis 2, Ephesians 5, and the specific framework
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called Christian hedonism. And this is a really critical
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area to study. I mean, not least because the
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sources we're looking at are asserting that God designed
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human marriage for a purpose that goes way beyond just, you
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know, human comfort or having kids.
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So our mission really is to unpack this idea that marriage
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is designed to be a parable. It's meant to mirror the eternal
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covenant relationship between Christ and his Church.
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And that has huge practical implications.
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It does. It dictates how the husband and
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wife function in their pursuit of what the sources call mutual
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holy joy. So the sources we're using for
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this are a collection of theological notes and excerpts.
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They're all firmly rooted in the Reformed tradition, and they're
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all looking at how this idea of seeking joy in God apply
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specifically to the roles in a marriage.
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Yeah, we're looking at what it means for a husband to love and
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a wife to submit, and how all of that fits under this big banner
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of seeking maximum human happiness in God.
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And we really have to start with the central claim that these
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sources make, which can be, you know, a bit controversial.
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They argue that the reason for so much misery in relationships
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isn't that people are searching for their own happiness.
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I mean, every single person is wired to seek joy.
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That's just a given. It's a given.
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The misery, they say, comes from failing to seek your own joy in
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the holy joy of your spouse. That is a huge distinction.
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It's everything. If you accept the premise that
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seeking happiness is this universal drive, then marriage.
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When you understand it correctly, it becomes what the
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source is called the Matrix for Christian Hedonism.
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It's the place where that natural drive gets purified and
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channeled in the right direction.
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OK, let's start at the very beginning of this pattern.
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Then we have to set the scene with the institution of marriage
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way back in Genesis 2.24, where year they shall become one
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flesh. And then we Fast forward all the
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way to Paul in Ephesians 5 where he quotes that exact Genesis
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verse. And then he had something pretty
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startling. He says this union is a great
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mystery. And that word mystery, mustorian
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in the Greek, is just it's the absolute key.
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In the New Testament, it almost always refers to some kind of
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divine reality that was hidden for a long time but is now being
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revealed. So it's not a mystery in the
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sense of a puzzle we can't solve.
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No, not at all. It's a revealed secret, and if
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we just read Ephesians 5 without that context, we might assume
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Paul is just using human marriage, something we can all
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see and understand to, you know, illustrate the relationship
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between Christ and the church. Right, using the known to
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explain the unknown. Exactly.
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But the sources we're looking at, they challenge that
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assumption completely. So if the common understanding
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is that we use the visible human relationship to get a handle on
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the invisible divine one, what do the sources say is the actual
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mystery here? The mystery is the reversal of
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that entire order. The sources are really clear on
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this. God did not create the union of
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Christ and the Church based on the pattern of human marriage.
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Instead, He created human marriage on the pattern of
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Christ's eternal relationship to the Church.
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That covenant, that relationship between Christ and His people,
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was planned from all eternity, long before Adam and Eve were
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even formed. Wow, that is That's a staggering
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claim. It just shifts the entire frame
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of reference, doesn't it? It does.
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It suggests marriage isn't primarily anthropological.
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It's not mainly about humanity. It's theological.
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It's a display of God's eternal purposes.
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Precisely. And if we are people who hold to
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the doctrine of God's absolute sovereignty and His eternal
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decree, this actually makes perfect sense.
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God is the originator of the pattern.
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He's the architect. He's the architect.
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He looked upon the eternal design, Christ as the
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initiating, redeeming head, and the Church as the purified
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responding body. And then he structured the human
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institution of marriage to visibly mimic that plan.
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So marriage is symbolic from his very foundation.
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It's not just a contract, it's not an agreement for sharing a
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mortgage. It's a symbol, a parable that's
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imaging forth what the sources calls stupendous divine
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realities. It contains it, and I guess it
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conceals a meaning that is way bigger than what we can see in
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the day-to-day interactions between two flawed people.
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It's like the ultimate divine drama just playing out in
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miniature. Marriage is designed to be a
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visual spectacle of God's faithfulness and Christo's love.
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As one of the notes puts it, as God made man in his image, so he
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made marriage in the image of his own eternal covenant with
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his people. And if we miss that symbolic
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layer, we are just going to perpetually misunderstand the
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roles God assigns. And we'll see them, as, you
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know, culturally arbitrary or just outdated.
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OK, so if marriage exists as this public display of the
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Christchurch covenant, that immediately forces the issue of
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distinct roles, doesn't it? I mean, if the two people in the
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marriage were just interchangeable, the whole
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pattern will be broken. The roles are entirely rooted in
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that distinction between Christ and the Church.
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They are not arbitrary social constructs at all.
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Christ is the head, He initiates, love gives himself
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up, sanctifies. And the church is the submissive
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body. It responds to that Love's being
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cleansed. It honors the head.
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So husbands get assigned the Christ like function, wives get
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assigned to the church like function.
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This is really the only legitimate explanation for why
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there are distinct non interchangeable functions in the
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first place. But I can imagine a listener
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pushing back on that saying, well why couldn't God just
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create 2 exactly equal counterparts with no distinct
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functions and still have the model Unity?
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And that takes us right back to Genesis 2.
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The sources spend a good bit of time on that creation narrative.
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Adam is created 1st and he's alone.
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Then God parades the animals before him, and it's this
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picture of Adam seeing that nothing in all of creation is a
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helper fit for him. He needed a counterpart, a
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person to share the love of God with.
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And then the creation of Eve from Adam's own rib makes her so
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profoundly unified with her bone of my bones and flesh of my
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flesh, but at the same time profoundly distinct.
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She is female, not another male. And that diversity is the key.
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It's what's needed to illustrate the relationship between Christ
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and the Church. The sources argue that the unity
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you get from joining diverse, complementary parts is so much
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richer than just simple unison. That's a great way to put it.
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Think about music. If every instrument and every
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singer plays the exact same note, you get unison.
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It's a single, powerful sound. Yeah, but it's not harmony.
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No. But when you have the soprano,
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the Alto, the tenor and the bass lines all singing their distinct
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parts, but they're all working toward a shared goal, that's
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when you get harmony. And that harmony, in this case
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visually represents the different but unified functions
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of Christ in the church. That's it.
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I mean, the Christchurch relationship is definitely not
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unison. Christ is not submissive to the
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church, and the church isn't the initiating, sanctifying head.
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Correct. The roles are the necessary
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diversity built into the human institution that allows it to
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achieve that deep harmony needed to, you know, to image forth the
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high purposes of the Covenant. This difference in function,
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which is often called complementarity, is what enables
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the high stakes mutual pursuit of joy we are about to discuss.
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Christian Hudenism. Right.
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The roles are the structure through which that holy joy is
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actually achieved. OK, so let's get into the
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central theological engine of the source material.
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We have to define Christian hedonism, which is a term that,
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let's be honest, it makes people raise an eyebrow.
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The word hedonism has a lot of secular baggage.
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It does. So how did the sources define
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it? The.
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Core definition, and you have to hold on to this one tightly, is
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the pursuit of our own joy in the holy joy of the beloved.
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And the term hedonism is chosen very deliberately because it
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acknowledges A fundamental, undeniable truth about human
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nature. It's a truth that the Reformed
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tradition has recognized for a very long time.
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And the universal truth is the pursuit of happiness.
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Absolutely. The sources bring in thinkers
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like Blaise Pascal to really reinforce this point.
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Pascal famously said all men seek happiness.
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This is without exception. The will never takes the least
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step. But to this object, this is the
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motive of every action of every man.
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Even if those who hang themselves.
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Wow. It's just an observation about
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how we're wired. We are seekers of joy.
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I can hear the immediate objection from a listener
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though. Wait a minute, isn't that just
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selfishness? Doesn't Christianity command
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self denial and putting others first?
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I mean, how do you square a desire for your own joy with
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radical self giving? And this is where the
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distinction between self-interest and selfishness
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becomes so critical. The sources draw a very clear
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line. Selfishness seeks private
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happiness, often at the expense of other people.
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It's a 0 sum game for me to win, you have to lose.
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But Christian love where this idea of holy hedonism, it
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acknowledges that self-interest exists, but it channels it.
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It says I will find my deepest, truest, most lasting happiness
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only in the happiness and sanctification of the person I
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love. So the goal isn't to stop
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pursuing joy, because that's impossible, according to Pascal
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and others. Right, can't be done.
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But to redirect to pursuit so that the object of your love
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becomes the actual prerequisite for your own satisfaction.
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Excisely, Jonathan Edwards made this exact point when he was
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talking about the call to eternal life.
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He argued that Jesus knew humanity was already motivated
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by self love and the search for lasting happiness.
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Christ's work was to direct them to the true way to it, the way
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found in God. The Christian ethic, as one
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writer EJ Carnell noted, is premised on self love.
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But it's a self love that seeks its ultimate satisfaction in God
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and that then overflows into loving others because God is
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glorified when they flourish. That makes marriage a kind of
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laboratory for this channeled pursuit.
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It is so if I'm pursuing my wife's holy joy, I am at the
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same time securing my own. But if I pursue some private
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pleasure like, I don't know, lazy entertainment at her
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expense, maybe neglecting the kids or my spiritual leadership,
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I'm actually destroying my own peace and joy in the long run.
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That is the mechanism of this marital matrix.
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Paul isn't trying to build a dam against our inherent desire for
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happiness. He's building a channel to
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purify it and direct it towards its true object.
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When a spouse lives for private satisfaction, they destroy the
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oneness and the harmony of the marriage, and so they lose the
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very thing they were looking for, happiness.
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And this principle is just so vividly displayed in Christ's
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sacrificial love. We have to look at the ultimate
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example of holy hedonism, Christ's self giving for the
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Church in Ephesians 5. Yes, Christ's actions are the
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pattern for the Husband precisely because they are
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rooted in this holy self-interest.
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Verse 25 says He gave himself up for her.
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Which sounds like pure altruism, total self denial.
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It does, but you have to read the verses that come right after
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it to see the motivation. He did this to sanctify her,
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having cleansed her, that he might present the church to
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himself in splendor. So the sacrifice wasn't just an
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end in itself, it was a means to achieve a specific, desirable
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outcome. A holy, splendid bride for
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himself. Exactly.
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The splendor and the holiness of the Church are Christ's great
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reward. The sources cite Hebrews 12.2,
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which just removes any doubt about his motivation for the
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cross. It says He endured the cross,
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despising the shame for the joy that was set before him.
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And the joy set before him was the joy of marriage to a
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cleansed, glorious, sanctified bride.
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In other words, Christ sought his own ultimate joy and
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satisfaction, the joy and holiness of the Church that
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makes His love, even love of Calvary, fundamentally self
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interested, but in this holy God glorifying way that elevates the
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person he loves. It is the highest form of self
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love because it seeks the greatest and most lasting joy.
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If Christ had loved himself less, He would have avoided the
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cross and lost the ultimate joy of His bride.
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But because He sought his own joy with such singular
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determination, he purchased the church and secured his reward.
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I still feel like we need to address that apparent
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contradiction that bothers so many people.
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The command to hate one's life in this world from John 12.25.
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I mean, if we're supposed to be Christian hedonists, why does
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Jesus command us to reject life? That rejection is provisional.
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It's not ultimate. The sources make a very careful
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distinction here. They frame it as a means to an
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end. The hating of your life in this
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world is a necessary step to secure eternal life and
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therefore greater joy. So it's like trading up.
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It's trading temporary lesser joys and comforts for eternal,
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ultimate joy. So if a married couple say they
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choose to sacrifice a career advancement or some luxury
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travel for the sake of spending more time raising their children
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in the Lord, they aren't rejecting pleasure.
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They're just trading a worldly pleasure for a deeper, holy
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pleasure that's found in the sanctification of their family.
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That is exactly the mechanism, the willingness to suffer, to
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die, or to endure great difficulty for the beloved sick,
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so that the beloved's joy might be full and eternal.
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That is the ultimate expression of Christian hedonism.
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It channels that desire for self preservation into sacrificial
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action that results in a shared, lasting joy.
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OK, now that we have the theological motivation
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established, this holy pursuit of joy, let's apply it directly
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to the roles starting with the husband.
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The mandate is, I mean, it's terrifyingly high.
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Husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the
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church and gave himself up for her.
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And this means the husband is called to assume the function of
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Christ, the Head, the Kefley. This designation means the
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husband has to take the initiative of leading, nurturing
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and protecting. We have to stop and unpack that
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word Kephala head. The sources affirm that this
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signifies leadership and authority.
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And yet there's a whole school of thought that tries to
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neutralize that meaning, arguing that Kephala only means source
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or origin, not governing authority.
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How does our material deal with that debate?
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It deals with it head on, and it reflects a very common reformed
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conclusion on the matter. While kefley can mean source,
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the context in both Ephesians 5 and 1st Corinthians 11 strongly
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suggest the meaning of governing authority.
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And Paul's own usage of the word is the primary evidence, right?
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Like in Ephesians 1.22 where crisis established as the head
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over all things to the church. Exactly.
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There is 0 doubt that Paul means supremacy, governance and
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authority in that verse, and the notes remind us that if a word
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has multiple possible meanings, you have to choose the one that
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fits the function being described.
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So if Christ is the head of the church, he rules the church,
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right? So if the husband is the head of
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the wife, he leads the wife. That's the logic, and the
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sources also cite contemporary witnesses confirming that in
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Paul's era in philosophy and just in common language, head
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was a clear reference to sovereignty or a leading
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position. The philosopher Philo used it
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that way. It was a well understood synonym
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for authority. I see they argue that to try and
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divorce carefully from leadership is to miss the entire
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analogy. The head governs the body.
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The eyes, the ears, the mouth, they are all essential parts of
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the body, but they were guided and directed by the brain, which
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is housed in the head. And even if we did emphasize the
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source meaning. Even then, it still implies a
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primary responsibility for guidance, which is the eyes,
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nourishment, which is the mouth, and protection, the skull in the
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ears. And that primary responsibility
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necessarily translates into the necessity of leadership.
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But I want to voice a common objection here that a lot of
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listeners might have. That analogy of the body needing
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guidance from the head sounds good in theory.
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You know, practically, how does a husband who is maybe genuinely
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poor at spiritual discipline or perhaps less naturally gifted in
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decision making lead his wife who might be far more
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spiritually mature or intellectually sharp?
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That is a critical challenge, and the sources anticipate it.
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The answer is really twofold. First, leadership is not
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correlated with intellectual or spiritual superiority.
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It is correlated with responsibility and initiative.
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And 2nd, the leadership has to be servant leadership modeled
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after Christ. Let's define that servant
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leadership again. What is Christ like?
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Headship not. It is not the fallen extremes,
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it is not domineering, demanding, hostile domination
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that reflects the twisted expression of the fall, and it
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is also not lazy indifference or just checking out abdication.
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That's also a failure of the role Christ's headship is
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leading out in the kind of love that is willing to die to give
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her life, mirroring Christ who said that the leader become as
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one who serves. So the husband's role is defined
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by taking the initiative, the initiative in meeting the needs
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of the family and prioritizing his wife's sanctification.
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It's not about being the boss, it's about being the primary
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servant. Exactly.
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Think of it as assuming the role of a shepherd who is accountable
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for the flock. This means the husband feels a
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greater weight of responsibility for leading the family in the
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things of the Spirit. Like initiating family prayer.
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Initiating family prayer, structuring Bible reading,
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seeking God's will for the children's moral and spiritual
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development, and setting the example himself.
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The source material gives a very concrete hypothetical example
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about this. It's about the competent wife
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and the less competent husband. If a husband struggles a lot
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with reading and, you know, articulating his thoughts, but
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the wife is a gifted educator and speaker, how does he still
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lead in family devotions? He leads by taking the
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initiative. The husband says I am
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responsible for the spiritual temperature of this home.
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Let's begin our family devotion tonight.
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And I'm going to ask my wife, who's very gifted and clarity to
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read the text and guide us through the first set of
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questions. In that moment, he has fulfilled
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his leadership role. He initiated the spiritual
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practice. He affirmed his wife's gifts,
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all while maintaining the structure of guidance.
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So his leadership is recognized by his spirit of initiative and
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his assumption of that primary moral vision, not necessarily by
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being the best speaker or the most gifted Bible scholar in the
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room. That's the subtlety the sources
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want us to grasp. The leadership is primarily
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moral and directional. The husband is tasked with
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shaping the moral fabric and the happy piece of the home, with
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giving the family a mission, and this requires him to be the one
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who sets the example of being up early and alone with God,
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seeking direction, even if his time with God is less structured
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or eloquent than his wife's might be.
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Now we have to bring this back to hedonism.
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How does this overwhelming responsibility and this call to
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service guarantee the husband's own joy?
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Why is this massive self giving pursuit actually an act of self
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love? This ties right back to that one
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flesh principle that's laid out in the fusions 5.28.
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He who loves his wife, loves himself.
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They're two distinct individuals, yes, but they have
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become a biological, A sociological, and a spiritual
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unity. When a husband harms his wife,
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he is harming himself. When he makes her holy and
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happy, he is making himself holy and happy.
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It's the ultimate win win scenario and it's all rooted in
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their oneness. That's it.
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The sources state that the husband should devote the same
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creative energy, the same determined time, and the same
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thoughtful devotion to making his wife holy and happy that he
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naturally devotes to ensuring his own personal comfort and
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well-being. If a husband spent just half the
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effort nourishing and cherishing his wife that he spends on, say,
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optimizing his golf game, his marriage would flourish.
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That reframes the entire task. This is an altruism where the
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husband just depletes himself. It's the most sophisticated form
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of self-interest because he has become one with his wife.
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His pursuit of her joy is the most effective way to secure his
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own joy. This pursuit of mutual delight
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through self giving leadership is the pattern Christ
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established. All right.
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If the husband's role is pattern after Christ the Head, then the
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wife's role is patterned after the Church which submits to
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Christ. Wiser call to submit to their
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own husbands as to the Lord. This is This is maybe the most
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difficult concept for a modern audience, and it requires a lot
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of theological precision. It does.
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We have to define what the sources mean by submission and
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just as importantly, what they do not mean.
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Submission is not a judgement on competence or intelligence, it
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is a judgement on God ordained function.
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So they're about the structure. It is about the structure of the
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relationship, not the gifts of the individuals in it.
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So how is submission defined here exactly?
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It's defined first as an attitude.
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It's the wise, It's responsibility to recognize and
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honor her husband's greater responsibility to lead the home.
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It shows up as a disposition to yield an inclination to affirm
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and follow his leadership and vision.
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This, of course, is assuming you have a husband who is actively
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trying to love and lead like Christ.
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But we have to stress, again, like we said earlier, that
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leadership isn't correlated with intellectual ability.
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A wife could have three graduate degrees and the husband might
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have a high school diploma. She still has that disposition
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to yield to his directional initiative.
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That is the nature of the harmony.
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Her intellectual superiority in a certain field doesn't negate
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his God ordained function as the initiator of direction.
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She uses her superior gifts to help him achieve the family's
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mission, but she waits for him to set the mission.
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I see her role is to bring her superior intellect and spiritual
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wisdom to bear on his leadership, to refine it, to
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inform it, but to do so with a cooperative, affirming spirit.
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This requires us to immediately address the absolute limits of
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human submission. This is where the highest
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scrutiny from the audience lies and the sources need to be
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crystal clear. And they are.
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The submission of one human being to another is never, ever
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absolute. The husband does not replace
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Christ as her supreme authority. Her allegiance to the head of
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the Church always Trump's her allegiance to the head of the
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home. So a wife must never follow her
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husband's leadership into sin. Never.
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Can we expand on that? What if the husband is
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neglectful or morally damaging or even abusive?
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What guidance does the material give when the pattern is just
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utterly? Broken.
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The sources maintain that the command to submit to the
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structure remains, but the command to obey a sinful
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directive just vanishes. If a husband commands his wife
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to lie, or to steal, or to participate in anything that is
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clearly against Scripture, her submission to Christ compels her
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to refuse. And in cases of physical danger.
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In cases of physical danger like abuse, her right and her
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necessity to seek safety and protection and to call in
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external authorities is paramount.
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Submission does not mean accepting physical or emotional
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destruction. It requires her to preserve her
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life and the lives of her children, recognizing that her
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husband has utterly failed his Christ like command to nourish
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and cherish. So if the husband's command
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moves beyond poor judgement and into clear sin or physical
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endangerment, the wife's submission just stops being
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operative because his headship is fundamentally voided by his
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failure to represent Christ, who always leads toward holiness and
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protection. That is the conclusion.
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However, the sources do acknowledge a paradox when
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you're dealing with sinful or absent leadership, Even when
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resisting, she must maintain a spirit of submission.
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OK, that sounds incredibly difficult and counterintuitive.
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How does a person maintain a submissive spirit while saying a
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firm no to a husband's sinful decision?
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It means the resistance is rooted in sorrow and a desire
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for harmony, not in defiance or insubordination.
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Her attitude should communicate a reluctance to resist and a
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genuine longing for him to lead righteously so that she can
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gladly follow him. The sources suggest this is
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shown through her gentleness, her tranquil demeanor, and her
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sacrificial love. She refuses the action, but she
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honors the position. Let's take the specific case of
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an unbelieving husband, citing first Peter 3.1.
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He provides no spiritual vision. If the wife is trying to raise
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her children in the faith, how does she provide that vision
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without communicating what the sources call that cocky spirit
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of insubordination? This requires immense wisdom.
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She still recognizes that submission is the will of God,
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so she continues to support him. As far as her conscience lies,
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she should never belittle him to the children or create a
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spiritual schism in the home. So what does she do?
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If she needs to give spiritual direction, like initiating
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nightly prayer or reading scripture to the kids, she does
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so humbly. Her approach?
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Especially if he disapproves, should be to explain her
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allegiance to Christ in that tranquil, gentle spirit.
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The goal is to win him in quietness by her powerful and
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sacrificial love. That's a strategy that's focused
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on character and redemption, not on confrontation and power
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struggles. Yes, it's about giving him room
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to assume his rightful leadership, even while she
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temporarily provides vision where he fails.
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It requires her to understand that her greatest weapon is an
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argument or defiance, it's character and love.
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Her quiet, holy behavior can speak louder, hidden words,
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particularly to an unbelieving husband, and that fulfills the
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goal of Christian hedonism in her life.
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Which brings us to the wife's unique expression of Christian
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hedonism. If the husband finds his joy in
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her sanctification, where does the wife find her ultimate joy?
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She finds her joy in the joy of her husband.
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By affirming and honoring his God ordained role as leader and
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successfully following his godly vision, she's contributing to
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the harmony of the home and the demonstration of that
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Christchurch relationship. Her happiness is found in seeing
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him flourish in the Christ like role God assigned to him and in
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a piece that results from a household governed by divine
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design. The roles are entirely
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interdependent vehicles for their mutual delight.
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So we've established the original pure design and these
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two high mandates, Christ like headship and church like
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submission. But we know that sin has just
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thoroughly corrupted these good designs, leaving us with messy,
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often painful marriages. And the sources are very clear
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that the Fall didn't abolish the roles, it twisted them into
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caricatures, A man's loving headship that initiating
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nurturing protection. It was twisted into one of two
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damaging, controlling extremes. What are those extremes?
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First, there's hostile domination, where the husband
26:24
uses his authority as a weapon. He demands obedience, he rules
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like a tyrant, and he refuses to serve.
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This is a twisted representation of Christ as a harsh judge, not
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the loving shepherd. And the other extreme?
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Lazy indifference. This is the husband's abdication
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of responsibility. He prefers leisure or passive
26:42
entertainment to any kind of spiritual initiative.
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This leaves his wife feeling abandoned and forces her to
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carry the primary moral weight of the family, which is just a
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massive failure of Christ like leadership.
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And the woman's intelligent, willing submission was similarly
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corrupted into its own dual extremes.
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Yes, her willingness to yield to leadership was twisted into a
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manipulative obsequiousness, in some cases a calculated false
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yielding that's really intended to gain control through feigned
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weakness or emotional maneuvering.
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And on the other side, On the other side, it becomes brazen
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insubordination where she openly defies the order.
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She views any yielding as a sign of weakness or inferiority, and
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she seeks control through constant challenge and
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resentment. So that means redemption isn't
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about dismantling the roles like some modern solutions suggests.
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No, it's about the recovery of God's original intention for the
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structure. Precisely, Redemption is the
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restoration of the created order.
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If the gospel doesn't eliminate the structure, it cleanses the
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motivation. Husbands redeem fallen headship
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by consciously modeling it after Christ, self giving, serving
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love that puts the wife's sanctification and joy above his
27:52
own convenience. And wives redeem fallen
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submission by modeling it after the Church, a willing,
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intelligent, affirming submission that honors his
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leadership initiative without abandoning her ultimate higher
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allegiance to Christ. And when both parties, motivated
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by this idea of Christian hedonism, consciously seek their
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ultimate joy in the sanctification and delight of
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the other, they're functioning exactly as God design.
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They make the grape mystery manifest.
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It's a visual display of Christ and the church for God's glory
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and for their overflowing mutual joy and.
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What I found so compelling in the notes was the short personal
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testimony about the practical viability of this whole pursuit.
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It really grounds the theory in lived reality, doesn't it?
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The author of the source material mentioned that since
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1968, he and his wife deliberately stalked our own joy
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and the joy of each other, and they found that this channel
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pursuit was the path to the heart's desire.
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It just underscores that this high theological concept isn't
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some unattainable ideal. It is the designed pathway to
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marital peace and happiness. So we stand back now and look at
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the land escape of this dinked eyes.
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Marriage is not a secular contract.
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It is a divine drama, a visual representation of Christ's
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eternal relationship with his Church.
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And this structure is driven by the joyful pursuit of the
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spouse's holy well-being within their specific complementary
29:15
roles. And the great mandate of
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Christian hedonism is this. Your pursuit of happiness is not
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something to be squashed, it is to be channelled.
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Your greatest satisfaction is found precisely in giving joy to
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the beloved within the roles grat assigned.
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So misery is just a result of seeking private happiness at the
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expense of the unity and the purpose of the marriage.
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That's it. We want to leave you with a
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concrete thought to consider. If you truly believe you are
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wired to seek joy, then accept the premise that the greatest
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act of self love in your marriage is the determined
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Christ like pursuit of your spouse's sanctification and joy.
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That is where your deepest, truest happiness is secured.
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And if the eternal covenant between Christ and the Church
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governs and dictates the structure and function of our
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most intimate human bond, marriage, then what other areas
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of life, perhaps our work, our finances, or our parenting, are
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also designed specifically to image forth God's ultimate plan?
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And how might a deeper understanding of that
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overarching design change our daily pursuits?
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We appreciate you joining us for this deep dive into God's design
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and the theological notes surrounding it.
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We'll continue this exploration next time on Reformed thinking.
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Until then, may your search for joy be directed by Christ and
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result in the glorification of God.