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No One Can Make You Feel Inferior · Effective Communication

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  Speaker 1: And now Effective Communication with Phil Zeller, CEO Dale Carnegie,
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  Speaker 1: Southwest Michigan. Question for you today, who knows you better
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  Speaker 1: than you? No, honestly, think about that for a moment.
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  Speaker 1: Who knows you better than you? You see yourself in
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  Speaker 1: the mirror every single day. You know the answer. You
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  Speaker 1: know the answer. You know yourself better than anyone else,
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  Speaker 1: better than anyone else. Take invatory that for a moment,
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  Speaker 1: Phil Zeller, Effective Communication. Such an honor and privilege to
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  Speaker 1: be with you as always here today sharing wisdom. You know,
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  Speaker 1: one of the greatest fears in communication and giving presentations
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  Speaker 1: has always been self confidence. It's having the confidence to
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  Speaker 1: believe in yourself. It's having the confidence actually puts yourself
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  Speaker 1: out there. And Dale Carnegie found it's the number one
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  Speaker 1: determining factor for a human being's success. And all of
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  Speaker 1: his research is do you have the self confidence? And
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  Speaker 1: I asked the question today who knows you better than you?
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  Speaker 1: And realistically it's nobody. As I said, you're the most
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  Speaker 1: consistent person that you know. Even if you're inconsistent. Your
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  Speaker 1: inconsistency is your consistence of the person that you know,
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  Speaker 1: because you're the person you've been with every moment of
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  Speaker 1: your life, right, wrong or indifferent. Judge in any way
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  Speaker 1: you want the facts of the facts, it's your mind.
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  Speaker 1: Del Carnegie said, one's perception is one's reality. So as
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  Speaker 1: you look in the mirror and you think about yourself,
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  Speaker 1: what do you think of? What do you see? And
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  Speaker 1: why and why? And it's interesting because we put so
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  Speaker 1: much stock into what other people say about us and
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  Speaker 1: what they think about us, and we let that affect us.
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  Speaker 1: And the question is why have they walked in our shoes?
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  Speaker 1: You know the old saying, never judge another person until
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  Speaker 1: you've walked in mile on their shoes. Have they walked
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  Speaker 1: in your shoes? I'm reminded of a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt,
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  Speaker 1: and Eleanor Roosevelt said, no one can make you feel
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  Speaker 1: inferior without your consent. Let that soak in. What wisdom,
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  Speaker 1: what amazing wisdom. Eleanor Roosevelt shared, no one can make
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  Speaker 1: you feel inferior without your consent. Why would you consent
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  Speaker 1: to anyone making you feel less? Then it's not a
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  Speaker 1: benefit to you. It's not a benefit to the great
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  Speaker 1: life you should be living. It's not a benefit to
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  Speaker 1: your self confidence and your belief and your worth. And
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  Speaker 1: the difference that you can make, there's no benefit. I'm
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  Speaker 1: reminded of a time I was a young man. I
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  Speaker 1: got an internship out of my first college program, and
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  Speaker 1: I got in there. I worked really hard to get
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  Speaker 1: this internship, and I showed up on the first day
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  Speaker 1: to meet my new boss. And it was for a
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  Speaker 1: Fortune one hundred company. And I met my boss and
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  Speaker 1: he said to me, you don't belong here. You're not
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  Speaker 1: the right material, you don't fit in. And it was
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  Speaker 1: a very, in my mind, cruel thing to say. And
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  Speaker 1: for some reason he felt he had to say that
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  Speaker 1: to me. But in my mind, I thought, this person
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  Speaker 1: doesn't know me, know me. So I looked him squarely
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  Speaker 1: the I and said, yes, sir, I have a lot
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  Speaker 1: to prove and I look forward to doing it. That's
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  Speaker 1: what I said. Why why would I say that? Because
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  Speaker 1: if we can't believe in ourselves, who's gonna believe in us?
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  Speaker 1: Dale Carnegie document that any fool can criticize, and most
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  Speaker 1: oftentimes fools do take a shot who cares? Who cares?
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  Speaker 1: And ask yourself the next time somebody takes a shot
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  Speaker 1: at you, ask yourself, if they criticize you, simple thing
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  Speaker 1: in your head, real gut check, real quick. Do they
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  Speaker 1: actually know you? Do they actually know you? Have they
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  Speaker 1: spent any amount of time with you to know where
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  Speaker 1: you're coming from when they criticize you. Yes or no?
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  Speaker 1: If they haven't, step off, you don't know, I'm sorry.
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  Speaker 1: That's okay. We're all ignitt to a lot of stuff.
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  Speaker 1: That's okay, let it go. The second thing, do they
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  Speaker 1: actually produce credible evidence in their criticism? Yes? Or no?
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  Speaker 1: Do they have evidence that's credible that validates the criticism
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  Speaker 1: they're giving. And if they don't, they're pontificating. They're wasting
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  Speaker 1: their time, your time, and everybody's time. Obviously time is
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  Speaker 1: not valuable because they have no evidence for the criticism
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  Speaker 1: that they're giving. So why in the world would you
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  Speaker 1: take that personally? They're speaking about something they don't even
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  Speaker 1: know what are talking about. Just they can accord a law,
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  Speaker 1: you need evidence. You need evidence to prove your case
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  Speaker 1: in a court of law. So I want you today
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  Speaker 1: to think about the words of Eleanor Roosevelt. No one
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  Speaker 1: can make you feel inferior without your consent. Remember that,
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  Speaker 1: Remember that, and take heed to this. It's the words
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  Speaker 1: of wisdom that Eleanor shared that should stick with us
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  Speaker 1: every day. You owe it to yourself to question criticism
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  Speaker 1: and believe in yourself because you're the most important person
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  Speaker 1: in your life. Now go make it happen.