Latest / WOC and Allies: Business and Career Realtalk with Elaine Lou Cartas / 126: Birthday Reflections: Rest, Recalibration, and How I’m Setting Aligned Goals for 2026 (So You Can Too)

Transcript

126: Birthday Reflections: Rest, Recalibration, and How I’m Setting Aligned Goals for 2026 (So You Can Too) · WOC and Allies: Business and Career Realtalk with Elaine Lou Cartas

0:00
SPEAKER_01: Hello from Arizona.
0:03
SPEAKER_01: It's my last work trip of the year, and I am two weeks late from dropping this birthday episode.
0:13
SPEAKER_01: Actually, 17 days.
0:15
SPEAKER_01: And to be fair, my birthday, which you should mark on your calendar, December 1st, this year of 2025, landed on a Monday.
0:26
SPEAKER_01: The Monday after Thanksgiving.
0:28
SPEAKER_01: And I don't recommend having your birthday the Monday after Thanksgiving.
0:33
SPEAKER_01: Obviously, we do not have control over that.
0:35
SPEAKER_01: But thanks, mom and dad.
0:37
SPEAKER_01: But honestly, I've been tired and just tired and burnt out.
0:43
SPEAKER_01: And also, it's interesting.
0:45
SPEAKER_01: I've been having conversations with clients and friends.
0:49
SPEAKER_01: Can we can we stop making burnout as this trend of how to overcome it?
0:54
SPEAKER_01: And rather how we make sure we don't burn out.
0:58
SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna warn you, I'm going to sound like a first world problem complainer here.
1:04
SPEAKER_01: The past quarter, Q4, I've done five trips.
1:09
SPEAKER_01: The good news, it was not all work.
1:12
SPEAKER_01: The longest one, which I still daydream in this to this day, is my two-week vacation in Philippines that cracked me wide open like coconut.
1:23
SPEAKER_01: Get it?
1:23
SPEAKER_01: Like, because you have to crack coconut so you could drink and eat from it.
1:27
SPEAKER_01: But I'll share more about that later on in this episode.
1:30
SPEAKER_01: Second, going to Dubai to speak in front of 10,000 plus AI founders and engineers on EI.
1:39
SPEAKER_01: Emotional intelligence.
1:40
SPEAKER_01: Also, when I said EI, I was like thinking of that song EI, EI, EO.
1:46
SPEAKER_01: Was that Nelly?
1:48
SPEAKER_01: I think.
1:48
SPEAKER_01: Okay, let me let me get back in track.
1:50
SPEAKER_01: Um third, I actually, which is why I didn't write or record anything.
1:56
SPEAKER_01: I was gonna record on the day of my birthday and then get it out on Thursday at the latest.
2:02
SPEAKER_01: But the day of my birthday, I actually got a huge gig.
2:06
SPEAKER_01: It was my dream gig.
2:08
SPEAKER_01: It was a public speaking communications gig with the California Water Association that I had to do eight days later.
2:15
SPEAKER_01: So birthday's the first.
2:16
SPEAKER_01: I found out about this gig, and I had to do the workshop on the ninth.
2:20
SPEAKER_01: And now today I am in Arizona for a woman's conference with other amazing female business owners.
2:30
SPEAKER_01: And sure, I'm listing, I guess I'm I'm giving you excuses why I haven't recorded my podcast, but also it's kind of the theme of this episode or this year for me that might resonate with you.
2:43
SPEAKER_01: I feel like this year was hard.
2:45
SPEAKER_01: Not hard in terms of traumatic experiences that has happened, but a year where I've gained more self-awareness, where I really slowed down to even question how I've been living like this for 30 plus years.
3:04
SPEAKER_01: No, I'm not even kidding.
3:06
SPEAKER_01: You know, learning, oh, wow, interesting.
3:08
SPEAKER_01: Like a scientist, hmm, these are my trauma responses.
3:12
SPEAKER_01: I mean, we could only blame so much to our childhood, how we grew up, but where am I continuing to behave or act certain ways?
3:22
SPEAKER_01: What are bad habits?
3:23
SPEAKER_01: What are things I need to edit?
3:27
SPEAKER_01: So in this podcast, we'll go over my huge realizations, including I have stopped drinking alcohol for the past nine months.
3:36
SPEAKER_01: Yes, I stopped drinking in May, and I'll share my wins and reflecting for this new year so you can start also reflecting for the new year.
3:48
SPEAKER_01: So I'm excited for you to listen.
3:51
SPEAKER_01: I feel like I'm talking really slowly because I feel like I'm also processing things as I'm talking.
3:56
SPEAKER_01: But, anyways, grab your coffee, tea, or boba, and let's drop the beat.
4:09
SPEAKER_01: Let's just get straight into it.
4:12
SPEAKER_01: You're probably like, okay, I need to know the crazy story of why Eileen quit drinking.
4:17
SPEAKER_01: Sorry, I'm boring.
4:19
SPEAKER_01: I have no, I got so blackout, crazy that drunk that I had to quit.
4:24
SPEAKER_01: Honestly, I was just tired of feeling so tired and gross the day after drinking a glass or two.
4:33
SPEAKER_01: And I noticed when, because you know, you're on vacation.
4:36
SPEAKER_01: I wanna, I wanna do a glass of wine or two like every single day.
4:40
SPEAKER_01: And I just was like, wait, I don't want my body to feel like this on vacation.
4:44
SPEAKER_01: Also, this belly ain't looking cute.
4:48
SPEAKER_01: And I did more research on just alcohol and hormones, being older, and I'm such a high performer with my business and life, and I want to be completely present.
5:01
SPEAKER_01: So I just tested it.
5:03
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna try.
5:06
SPEAKER_01: Now, honestly, I I don't want this.
5:10
SPEAKER_01: It's interesting.
5:11
SPEAKER_01: I don't want this to be like my whole identity, like, oh, I've stopped.
5:14
SPEAKER_01: But did I quit?
5:15
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
5:15
SPEAKER_01: I don't know if this is something where I'm gonna start drinking again.
5:18
SPEAKER_01: I've gone through stages in my life where I'm gonna quit for a year, I'm gonna quit for three months, and then I'll start again.
5:25
SPEAKER_01: But I will tell you, I have loved it.
5:29
SPEAKER_01: I have been so uncomfortable.
5:31
SPEAKER_01: What I mean by that is not drinking, I've learned how to sit with the uncomfortable me, learning how to self-regulate without drinking, like, oh, it's a long day.
5:45
SPEAKER_01: I need a drink.
5:46
SPEAKER_01: Instead, I'm like, huh, why do I feel like this?
5:49
SPEAKER_01: What am I doing too much of?
5:51
SPEAKER_01: Asking myself the hard questions rather than band-aid it.
5:55
SPEAKER_01: Now, I also don't want to be one of those people like, I think I'm so much better than you because I stopped or paused drinking.
6:01
SPEAKER_01: That's that's not what I'm trying to do here.
6:04
SPEAKER_01: I'll share more in the podcast episode.
6:06
SPEAKER_01: But if anything, like it also gave me the realization of, oh, I think I'm also addicted to just sparking a lot or chaos and busyness.
6:15
SPEAKER_01: And mind you, I have been aware of that for a couple of years, but I feel like it's really, really got deep rooted into my brain this past year because I have been completely sober.
6:27
SPEAKER_01: And in the past nine months, like I said, it's helped me gain clarity of what I'm using to distract myself in.
6:35
SPEAKER_01: And I realize I've been overdoing, doing the most, because as a first gen immigrant, oldest daughter, first one born in this country, overdoing and doing the most, I've been rewarded my whole life on it.
6:50
SPEAKER_01: Perfect attendance award, straight A's.
6:53
SPEAKER_01: I got an award, bring my straighter report card and getting cash for my straight A's from my parents.
6:59
SPEAKER_01: I was rewarded for that.
7:01
SPEAKER_01: Then it gets to a point where it's like you can't do the most, you're getting older.
7:06
SPEAKER_01: And I've been more discerning of what's important to me and not.
7:12
SPEAKER_01: For example, in the past month, there was one I was supposed to go to this week.
7:17
SPEAKER_01: I canceled two holiday parties from organizations I got invited to, which I paid.
7:22
SPEAKER_01: And my body's like, nope.
7:24
SPEAKER_01: Did I have time to do it?
7:25
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
7:25
SPEAKER_01: But when I felt my energy, when I looked up my day the next day, like, no, I just can't.
7:32
SPEAKER_01: And like I shared earlier in the intro, going to Philippines, my motherland in nature, oh, you should go check out the pictures.
7:42
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I'm not here to brag.
7:43
SPEAKER_01: I'm more so I want to really just tell the whole world to go visit El Nido, Palawan, and Philippines because it's just heaven and it's so much better than Hawaii.
7:54
SPEAKER_01: And I know that's very controversial, but look, like it ain't crazy expensive, and you get all you could eat food, which is all fresh, like drinking mango all the time, eating fresh fish.
8:06
SPEAKER_01: Oh, the mangoes melt in your mouth.
8:08
SPEAKER_01: I mean, you can look at my pictures on Instagram at Elaine Lou underscore.
8:12
SPEAKER_01: I'll put that put that in the show notes.
8:14
SPEAKER_01: But let me try to dive back in.
8:16
SPEAKER_01: But every day it was like I was in paradise.
8:18
SPEAKER_01: My partner and I we scuba dived, snorkeled, slam, explored caves.
8:24
SPEAKER_01: I was enjoying not working, being so present to just doing what was enough.
8:28
SPEAKER_01: And I'm so grateful for my partner because it was like, let's just do one to two activities, like one to two excursions per day.
8:34
SPEAKER_01: And it was fascinating to me to see American travelers who pack their days doing three to four activities in a day.
8:43
SPEAKER_01: And then seeing European travelers doing one to two activities like us, and then the rest of the day they're by the beach, pool, patio, which is what we did.
8:52
SPEAKER_01: I we weren't this American on.
8:56
SPEAKER_01: Yes, I'm American, but oh just so jealous of Europeans where they've or even like in Spain, having CS is just being able to rest.
9:05
SPEAKER_01: It was this realization being in my motherland where, yep, I'm addicted to being on masking, making it more just difficult than it is.
9:14
SPEAKER_01: And as an empath for Shen Filipino oldest daughter, I still also have realized this past year, oh, catching myself fawning, which is a trauma response, by the way.
9:26
SPEAKER_01: There's four trauma responses.
9:28
SPEAKER_01: We know about fight or flight, right?
9:30
SPEAKER_01: Fight, it's like I have to prove I'm right.
9:31
SPEAKER_01: Flight, I'm gonna deal with this, I'm gonna walk away.
9:34
SPEAKER_01: There's freeze, you don't know how to respond.
9:36
SPEAKER_01: And then fawn, which I know a lot of women, we do this, is oh no, is everything okay?
9:42
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'll stay longer.
9:44
SPEAKER_01: But let me share a story that was recent.
9:46
SPEAKER_01: It actually happened the week of my birthday.
9:48
SPEAKER_01: So we were my partner and I we were in Vegas.
9:50
SPEAKER_01: He had to go there for a conference, so it's like, hey, hotel is free, and I just have to pay for my southwest flight, which is so cheap.
9:59
SPEAKER_01: Yes, please.
10:00
SPEAKER_01: And he already planned and booked to get a king bed, but when we got to the room to Queens, I mean, he complained about it.
10:08
SPEAKER_01: I know this Elaine got first world problems.
10:11
SPEAKER_01: I know, I know.
10:12
SPEAKER_01: Sorry guys, but he complained about it to the staff, but they said, hey, for this conference, it's first come, first serve, and we ran out.
10:18
SPEAKER_01: So we dealt with what we need to, but here's where like the fun response came in.
10:24
SPEAKER_01: Okay, is Dolor wasn't like the crazy person yelling at the hook, tell staff this is this is where I'm crazy.
10:30
SPEAKER_01: So my craziness comes here.
10:32
SPEAKER_01: So he asked me, my partner, I know you love starfishing, aka if you don't know what starfishing means.
10:38
SPEAKER_01: It means like when you fall asleep, you like being like a starfish, spread out your arms, spread out your legs, just like, ooh, look, I have the whole bed to myself.
10:45
SPEAKER_01: So he's like, Do you want to just have your own cream bed or do you want to share this cream bed together?
10:49
SPEAKER_01: And he started thinking, this is where fonting happened.
10:52
SPEAKER_01: I thought about his needs.
10:53
SPEAKER_01: Wait, he's probably tired.
10:54
SPEAKER_01: He has a conference, he wants his own bed.
10:57
SPEAKER_01: Okay, he should, he should have his own bed.
10:59
SPEAKER_01: But then I was like, But I want a spoon.
11:01
SPEAKER_01: I I want to share, I don't care.
11:03
SPEAKER_01: But that's not what I said to him.
11:04
SPEAKER_01: I said quietly, we can we can sleep separately so you can rest.
11:09
SPEAKER_01: And then he asked, Are you sure?
11:10
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, No, I don't want to spoon.
11:12
SPEAKER_01: He was like, Then tell me what you want.
11:14
SPEAKER_01: It was kind of like in the notebook with Ryan Gosling.
11:18
SPEAKER_01: It's so interesting because as I was sharing my thought process with you when he asked me, like, do you want your own bed?
11:24
SPEAKER_01: Or should we share?
11:26
SPEAKER_01: I caught myself, like, how my brain was reacting to to like how it was just responding to this.
11:34
SPEAKER_01: And I shared this with my friend Cindy in Vegas, and she taught me this really cool tool, which I'm gonna teach you.
11:42
SPEAKER_01: And you think crazy, but I don't care.
11:44
SPEAKER_01: You're still listening to this episode.
11:45
SPEAKER_01: She taught me to time out, like do the hand signal, like a T.
11:49
SPEAKER_01: Remember millennials when we're in timeout, it's like time out, go to the corner.
11:53
SPEAKER_01: Well, now I'm learning to do time out for myself when I am spiraling.
11:59
SPEAKER_01: So when we catch ourselves like not being able to respond, it's like, okay, wait, time out, put the signal, and that disrupts our brain.
12:08
SPEAKER_01: So I don't know if you know this, but your girl got a bachelor's in cognitive sciences, which is the study of the brain, because I thought I wanted to be a therapist.
12:16
SPEAKER_01: And clearly listening to this episode, you're like, Elaine, you're crazy.
12:19
SPEAKER_01: You cannot be a therapist.
12:20
SPEAKER_01: I was like, that's why I didn't become one, because I went to therapy.
12:22
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I'm crazy.
12:24
SPEAKER_01: And if I'm crazy, I don't, I'm not the best person for other fellow crazy people.
12:28
SPEAKER_01: So I become a coach instead.
12:30
SPEAKER_01: But I'm still crazy.
12:31
SPEAKER_01: But don't worry, I'm working on it.
12:32
SPEAKER_01: So let's go back to the brain, because it's interesting.
12:36
SPEAKER_01: I I shared this.
12:38
SPEAKER_01: Let me explain it.
12:39
SPEAKER_01: So when we get a response, like, oh, what happened to me?
12:42
SPEAKER_01: Do you want to share a bed, a small queen, or do you want to have your own?
12:46
SPEAKER_01: Right.
12:46
SPEAKER_01: And so in the part of our brain closest to our spinal cord is the hippocampus.
12:53
SPEAKER_01: It acts like a smoke detector.
12:54
SPEAKER_01: So if it recognizes kind of this is danger, or this is like someone you love is asking you a question.
13:01
SPEAKER_01: So you need to do what's best for them.
13:03
SPEAKER_01: And then the amygdala, which is next to the hippocampus, this is still part of the reptilian brain, the animal brain, reminds you of all past experiences where maybe you shared what you really wanted, but then you got shot down by a loved one, aka a parent or someone in your childhood.
13:21
SPEAKER_01: So it's gonna validate like you shouldn't share what you really want, because in the past you have when you were a kid.
13:28
SPEAKER_01: And so that's what happened to me.
13:29
SPEAKER_01: My hippocampus and my amygdala was completely taken over.
13:34
SPEAKER_01: But to get to the rational part of the brain, what makes us unique as humans, which is the prefrontal cortex.
13:40
SPEAKER_01: The prefrontal cortex, it is basically by your forehead.
13:43
SPEAKER_01: It's the farthest away from your spinal cord.
13:46
SPEAKER_01: It is the decision maker.
13:48
SPEAKER_01: It helps you think logically.
13:50
SPEAKER_01: To get there, you need to breathe.
13:52
SPEAKER_01: So that's why it's important when you hear people say you need to just breathe when you're anxious.
13:57
SPEAKER_01: I actually shared this diagram of the hippocampus in abygdala, which is close, like I said, to the spinal cord and then the prefrontal cortex, which is the farthest by our forehead, to my talk with the California Water Association.
14:10
SPEAKER_01: Because not just them, but for other people, how do you just get over your nerves?
14:15
SPEAKER_01: How do you not get nervous when you're about to speak?
14:17
SPEAKER_01: Have a difficult conversation about to present.
14:20
SPEAKER_01: And we always hear, just breathe.
14:22
SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, Elaine, you're from Los Angeles, of course, you'd say it, but there's a science behind it.
14:27
SPEAKER_01: When you breathe, you're able to surpass your reptilian brain, your hippocampus and amygdala to the prefrontal cortex.
14:36
SPEAKER_01: So you could be more rational and logical.
14:39
SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna start breathing more, and you should do it too.
14:43
SPEAKER_01: And this past year, as I've shared, I feel my identity shifting, having to go from performing to choosing.
14:53
SPEAKER_01: And I have always been awarded on reacting right away, not just being the oldest daughter, but also in my career, working in political campaigns as a fundraiser.
15:05
SPEAKER_01: Oh, this donor needs this.
15:06
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna meet with them, and then boom, I get a million-dollar donation.
15:09
SPEAKER_01: So I'm intentionally working from being needed, people pleasing, to honoring myself and honoring I'm a human being and honoring the body budget I have.
15:28
SPEAKER_01: I know this episode is so good.
15:31
SPEAKER_01: And you're like, how can I get more of this?
15:35
SPEAKER_01: Well, I have a newsletter that comes out every Thursday that's free, fun, and full of real talk.
15:42
SPEAKER_01: It's a live journal Zanga on leadership and life with actual scripts, behind-the-scenes stories, and lessons from mistakes I've made so you don't have to for work and life.
15:56
SPEAKER_01: Just go to elanelu.com forward slash join.
16:00
SPEAKER_01: That's E-L-A-I-N-E-L-O-U.com forward slash join.
16:06
SPEAKER_01: All right, back to the episode.
16:08
SPEAKER_01: For example, I came back from doing a talk to 10,000 plus people in Dubai.
16:16
SPEAKER_01: And that was a week before Thanksgiving.
16:19
SPEAKER_01: And the day of Thanksgiving, there's 40 family members, and I have about like six young nephews and nieces, all in there, you know, all below under nine years old.
16:29
SPEAKER_01: And I want to be very clear, love, love, love my family.
16:34
SPEAKER_01: But I also realized, oh my gosh, my family is crazy and chaotic.
16:40
SPEAKER_01: And at that party, I mean, I was able to be completely present, play, because I am clearly the fun auntie.
16:46
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I have this really cute picture of my nieces wishing me happy birthday.
16:51
SPEAKER_01: But it hit me, oh my gosh, how much I mask, how much I appease and please.
16:57
SPEAKER_01: It was interesting.
16:58
SPEAKER_01: Like I didn't realize how much I've been doing that my whole life.
17:02
SPEAKER_01: And it was also interesting to see my partner and my cousin even go out to the backyard because there was so much going on on inside in my parents' house.
17:10
SPEAKER_01: And I don't know, I'm just, I just want to be a family member.
17:14
SPEAKER_01: I don't want to plan stuff.
17:16
SPEAKER_01: I just, I just want to show up.
17:18
SPEAKER_01: And look, I I know about this stuff, like the self-awareness of this.
17:23
SPEAKER_01: I remember working a lot with my therapists in my late 20s of, you know, I don't need to be managing my family, even though I'm the oldest daughter.
17:32
SPEAKER_01: And I know my dad would always say you're the HR of the family.
17:35
SPEAKER_01: But as I've gotten older, or just this past year, I've always known that, but like it just really hit the root of my brain, surpassed down to the prefrontal cortex, like I shared.
17:46
SPEAKER_01: Like it's also hit the root if you're spiritual to my soul of being so self-aware and just pausing.
17:53
SPEAKER_01: And now I'm like a crazy self-observer.
17:57
SPEAKER_01: It's like I'm watching Discovery Channel and I'm watching my own behavior.
18:01
SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, when you watch Discovery Channel back when you were a kid, or even now, because it's so cool.
18:06
SPEAKER_01: And it's like, wow, those lions, that's so cool.
18:09
SPEAKER_01: Or just seeing, wow, those whales.
18:11
SPEAKER_01: Now, as I'm going through it in life, like while you lane, you're really thinking that right now.
18:15
SPEAKER_01: Did you, did you just respond that way?
18:18
SPEAKER_01: Okay, girl, you need to you need your back off.
18:20
SPEAKER_01: You need to go go for a walk.
18:22
SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm just I'm like a bird watcher to myself, essentially.
18:26
SPEAKER_01: And okay, and why am I sharing this all to you?
18:29
SPEAKER_01: Because, you know, with my clients, with my friends, when I'm being vulnerable and I share this stuff, it it helps them know that they're not alone as they're going through the thick and deep of it.
18:41
SPEAKER_01: Like we live in a society where you should constantly be happy.
18:44
SPEAKER_01: You should absolutely know what to do.
18:46
SPEAKER_01: You are perfect, but we are human beings.
18:49
SPEAKER_01: We all have come from past childhood experiences.
18:53
SPEAKER_01: So I hope my storytelling helped you.
18:56
SPEAKER_01: And you're like, man, Elaine, I wish I wish AI wrote this.
18:59
SPEAKER_01: No, this was those EI, Elaine intelligence.
19:04
SPEAKER_01: But let's get to the goal settings, celebrating the past year, so you know what to do.
19:09
SPEAKER_01: But I just want to share with you all the self-awareness for me has been because yes, the not drinking has helped, but really it was the let me pause and really listen to myself.
19:22
SPEAKER_01: That has been so helpful.
19:24
SPEAKER_01: And because of that, I'm gonna share with you some wins.
19:27
SPEAKER_01: So personal ones, I have been averaging seven to nine hours of sleep a night.
19:32
SPEAKER_01: Number one win.
19:33
SPEAKER_01: Two, I shared with you already not drinking alcohol for nine months.
19:36
SPEAKER_01: Three, uh, it's just it's hard.
19:39
SPEAKER_01: I'm just learning to be more of a tortoise and and turtle instead of the hair, aka rabbit, even though my Chinese zodiac is a rabbit.
19:48
SPEAKER_01: Being more intentional and pausing more.
19:49
SPEAKER_01: You know, I had a session with my coach earlier today, and she was like, you know, you're a lot more grounded.
19:55
SPEAKER_01: I felt like before you were just like, you're you're scattered brained.
19:58
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, thank you so much.
19:59
SPEAKER_01: That's such a compliment.
20:01
SPEAKER_01: Um, in terms of business, my profit margins increase by 163%.
20:06
SPEAKER_01: And it's not even the end of the year yet, so I don't even know.
20:10
SPEAKER_01: Like December and January is like my best months because that's when everyone's focused on goal setting.
20:15
SPEAKER_01: I know you all come in last minute to me or just want to hit goal setting, which is great, but I'm tired.
20:20
SPEAKER_01: And what else was I gonna share?
20:23
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I surpassed last year's revenue.
20:26
SPEAKER_01: So now your turn.
20:27
SPEAKER_01: I mean, what are your wins?
20:29
SPEAKER_01: And with the wins, I want you to reflect what what did you have to do for those wins to happen?
20:35
SPEAKER_01: And I I could have started in the beginning of this episode rather than you having to hear my whole less story of my wins, but I just really want to emphasize the importance of the rest, reflection, realignment before I shared my wins.
20:50
SPEAKER_01: So I want you to think about what are your wins, and can you pause and think about how you got there?
20:55
SPEAKER_01: Now, here's the goals and setting for the new year.
20:59
SPEAKER_01: I'm making more commitments to take time and pause and be intentional of every decision I make, give myself at least 24 hours, and even making sure when I walk or work out, I don't listen to music or podcasts, just my body.
21:14
SPEAKER_01: Like I did leg day two days ago.
21:16
SPEAKER_01: I really wanted to listen to music because leg day is just really, really hard if you guys weightlift.
21:20
SPEAKER_01: Next day, ooh, my legs were sore and it felt so good.
21:25
SPEAKER_01: That's how you know it's a good workout.
21:26
SPEAKER_01: Second goal, being honest with my body.
21:29
SPEAKER_01: For example, I haven't been perfect with making sure Mondays are my CEO days, aka don't do phone calls.
21:38
SPEAKER_01: I'm I mean, if you listen to my other goal setting podcast episodes, which I'll share in the show notes, I say Mondays are my CEO days.
21:44
SPEAKER_01: I take the whole day into phone calls.
21:46
SPEAKER_01: Um, yeah, I have been failing at that.
21:48
SPEAKER_01: But well, earlier this week I was so frustrated myself.
21:51
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, you know what?
21:51
SPEAKER_01: I'm just gonna have this a reoccurring meeting.
21:53
SPEAKER_01: I'm blocking all Mondays for 2026 so I can dedicate deep thinking to realize.
22:00
SPEAKER_01: Reflect, see what's worked, what happened, what I need to work on personally, look at my numbers.
22:05
SPEAKER_01: And that's what I've been doing.
22:06
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I've shared this in another podcast episode, but I've paused doing Muay Thai kickboxing because it's so much output.
22:12
SPEAKER_01: I just want restorative hot yoga, Pilates, slowness.
22:16
SPEAKER_01: Yes, I sound like an LA girl because I am.
22:21
SPEAKER_01: And my big goal, which I think should also be your goal too, is to ensure my calendar and my bank account reflects my values and not just my ambition.
22:33
SPEAKER_01: And we always hear, oh my God, what are your values?
22:36
SPEAKER_01: Integrity, honesty, blah, blah, blah, blah.
22:40
SPEAKER_01: But I want those values broken down by what are behaviors I am doing and habits and routines and systems.
22:48
SPEAKER_01: So I want you to think of that.
22:50
SPEAKER_01: You know, what are one, your values?
22:52
SPEAKER_01: And then two, break down those values into what are behaviors, habits, and systems you could do for yourself.
22:59
SPEAKER_01: And, you know, it's interesting.
23:01
SPEAKER_01: The past Q4, every single one of my clients and friends have shared with me their burnout and being so tired.
23:08
SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna have you reflect on these questions.
23:12
SPEAKER_01: One, where have you normalized exhaustion?
23:16
SPEAKER_01: I had a coach remind me, your calendar doesn't always have to be filled with color.
23:22
SPEAKER_01: Honor the white space and put do not book.
23:25
SPEAKER_01: So maybe schedule out from 7 a.m.
23:27
SPEAKER_01: to 7 p.m.
23:28
SPEAKER_01: after noticing, okay, I have enough meetings and projects to do and telling yourself do not book.
23:34
SPEAKER_01: Cause what I do to test that is I will look at my calendar a month and ahead.
23:38
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, okay, how's my body feeling looking at this calendar?
23:41
SPEAKER_01: Yep, it's tired.
23:42
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna block.
23:43
SPEAKER_01: I don't know how to do the most.
23:44
SPEAKER_01: I don't need to go to this event.
23:45
SPEAKER_01: I don't need to go to this meeting.
23:47
SPEAKER_01: Second question to ask yourself what patterns have you been living inside without questioning?
23:54
SPEAKER_01: Okay, warning to your mind.
23:57
SPEAKER_01: But I drink one coffee in the morning and then around two or three, I like drinking a second cup, maybe three cups, and my stomach gets acid reflex.
24:06
SPEAKER_01: And the reality is, and I know this and I need to practice it, is I should not be drinking coffee in the afternoon.
24:13
SPEAKER_01: I should probably just take a nap or walk.
24:15
SPEAKER_01: And your girl's been practicing that.
24:17
SPEAKER_01: When I was in plane ride around two or three, I took a nap.
24:20
SPEAKER_01: So starting to make those habits.
24:23
SPEAKER_01: Third, what would change if you slowed down just enough to notice?
24:27
SPEAKER_01: A huge thing for me is learning I was so reactive rather than intentional.
24:32
SPEAKER_01: And I need to create more habits to be intentional, like the being honest with myself, the amount of time it would take me to write a proposal.
24:41
SPEAKER_01: It's like, oh yeah, that takes five minutes.
24:42
SPEAKER_01: No, it doesn't.
24:43
SPEAKER_01: No, it doesn't, Elaine.
24:44
SPEAKER_01: It takes 30 minutes.
24:45
SPEAKER_01: But when it's a big contract with a company, an RFP, it takes me anywhere from two to four hours.
24:51
SPEAKER_01: And then I close them.
24:52
SPEAKER_01: That's why I get paid the big bucks.
24:53
SPEAKER_01: Then fourth, from this past year, what do you want to bring forward?
24:57
SPEAKER_01: I sound like a parrot.
24:59
SPEAKER_01: Continuing being more intentional, making sure I'm not urgent, having an old school journal with me to reflect what I've noticed about myself and learned.
25:07
SPEAKER_01: For example, I got an email earlier this week with an organization who wanted to hire me as a coach to their members, but it would pay me 10% of what I charge my private clients.
25:17
SPEAKER_01: I was tempted to say yes right away.
25:19
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, no, no, this is not even one my worth.
25:22
SPEAKER_01: And two, it's gonna take away time to work with ideal clients that I love working with.
25:27
SPEAKER_01: Fifth question, what are you finally ready to release?
25:31
SPEAKER_01: And for me, that's saying yes to everything before I pause and feel into it.
25:36
SPEAKER_01: For example, I went to Dubai and I found out that they wanted me to speak in front of these 10,000 plus AI founders.
25:45
SPEAKER_01: But I found out when I was in the Philippines and I was like, oh, I want to go right away.
25:49
SPEAKER_01: But I was like, let me think about it.
25:51
SPEAKER_01: It's like, and it was just a full body yes.
25:54
SPEAKER_01: And I went, and guess what?
25:56
SPEAKER_01: I closed two clients the week right after.
25:59
SPEAKER_01: And I got a big contract with a company.
26:02
SPEAKER_01: So if you need to, feel free to go rewind so you get these five questions.
26:08
SPEAKER_01: I'll also summarize it here, actually.
26:09
SPEAKER_01: Uh, you know what?
26:10
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna make it easier for you.
26:11
SPEAKER_01: So one, we're having normalized exhaustion.
26:14
SPEAKER_01: Two, what patterns have you been living inside without questioning?
26:18
SPEAKER_01: Three, what would change if you slowed down just enough to notice?
26:22
SPEAKER_01: Four, what do you want to bring forward?
26:24
SPEAKER_01: And five, what are you finally ready to release?
26:34
SPEAKER_01: I guess this episode is uh I'm done with doing the most over functioning and masking.
26:41
SPEAKER_01: And I'm sharing this with you because I know who you are.
26:44
SPEAKER_01: You're a fellow human, woman, woman of color, first-hand immigrant, overachiever, and maybe you've been feeling this way too.
26:53
SPEAKER_01: My intention, by the way, was not to trigger you at all.
26:56
SPEAKER_01: It's just sometimes it's just nice to hear someone be real with you instead of the perfect like IG reels or highlights, like TikTok, whatever social media might be out there in the future post-2025.
27:08
SPEAKER_01: But, anyways, if you feel like, oh my gosh, Elaine, this episode is amazing, please share this with a friend or two who might resonate with them.
27:19
SPEAKER_01: Maybe you've been having the I'm I know you've been having these conversations because I've been having this conversation with every single client and friend.
27:25
SPEAKER_01: So share this episode with them and share a sentence why they should listen.
27:29
SPEAKER_01: And if you're like, Elaine, you're so giving, then I would love if you can leave a rating and review for this podcast.
27:37
SPEAKER_01: My team and I created this podcast as an accessible resource for others.
27:41
SPEAKER_01: And if you're in a season where you want to embrace enough, be intentional rather than be an, you know, autopilot, whether it's your career, leadership, business, life, and you want to see how it looks like to work together, then schedule a call with me at elaneloo.com forward slash call.
28:02
SPEAKER_01: That's E-L-A-I-N-E-L-O-U.com slash call.
28:05
SPEAKER_01: You'll receive three action items towards your goals.
28:09
SPEAKER_01: And if it's a great fit to work together by the end of call, great.
28:12
SPEAKER_01: I'll share with you how it may look like to work together.
28:14
SPEAKER_01: If it's not a great fit, great, I'll refer each other people and resources.
28:16
SPEAKER_01: So either way, it's a win win for you.
28:19
SPEAKER_01: But I hope this is the last.
28:21
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I don't think I'm gonna do it because I'm tired.
28:23
SPEAKER_01: This should be the last episode of 2025.
28:27
SPEAKER_01: And I hope you have a restful and restorative holiday season.
28:34
SPEAKER_01: I'll talk to you next year.