Latest / Forged In The Dark / Smashing Pumpkins: What Anger Does When You Won’t Let It Out
Transcript
- Forged In The Dark: The other morning when I woke up, I had no idea that I would end up smashing pumpkins. I had no idea that an invitation, an opportunity was about to come in that would change my entire morning. And I love the way everything always works out for me. I love that this opportunity came in. And I love what I learned from smashing pumpkins. And that is what I'm going to share with you today. Welcome to Forged in the Dark. I'm your host, Jamie. Let's dig in. Now, almost everyone is holding on to something anger, resentment, any kind of low vibing emotion, And what we do not release from our physical bodies gets stored. Sometimes they come out with over exaggerated reactions. think about it. You are going through your day just fine. It's a great day, even. And then all of a sudden, you find yourself smelling something, hearing something, someone addressing you with an aggressive tone. And next thing you know, you are in full-blown reaction mode. What you don't release stays with you. And I am not an angry person. I I've had anger issues in the past for sure. as a child, it wasn't safe to be angry. It it wasn't it wasn't even safe to be seen as a child. I I felt very unsafe for most of my childhood So I learned from a young age to really internalize my anger. I have always been highly empathetic and compassionate, and I have not allowed my empathy and compassion to excuse behaviors that would typically let me be angry. But it would it was just in I'll say in the last eight years that I realized that there is anger inside of me. And I actually know what to do with anger because anger, anger is a powerful emotion and it gets a bad rap because people behave badly when they're angry. But anger, when channeled into action, helps you get a lot of things done. Any emotion, when you learn how to channel it into something positive, something productive, that that's a huge win because then you start taking control back. You you take control of your life, you take control of your responses, which really at the end of the day is the only thing we can control. I also know because I'm willing to dive deep within myself and do the real work that I still carry anger that I don't necessarily allow myself to acknowledge often. But the other morning when my notifications started going off and and I wasn't even out of bed yet, I see someone sending me a reel and I watch the reel and and I shoot back a message. my gosh, this looks like so much fun. We have to do this. And they come back and they say today. Now I was like, okay, okay, this changes things. And I quickly rearranged my morning. now I'm on the search for pumpkins. I'm shopping for pumpkins, I'm finding a bat. thank you to my neighbor for letting me borrow his bat. I I need to remember to text him and let him know that I'm gonna have it a couple more days because the this was so much fun and so wildly successful that that I've had so many people reach out this week and say, I want to smash pumpkins too. I want to smash pumpkins too, that I that I am going to throw again an impromptu pumpkin pat pumpkin smashing something next weekend. And I do feel strongly that this time next year, the pumpkin pumpkin smashing will be a full-blown event. I mean, the entire process was so much fun and it was so funny. Here we are, we have our pumpkins, we have our bats. Now, where do we do this? We we find the perfect spot. But it still felt like we were doing something wrong. It felt like we were doing something naughty. And I have to tell you that no people were harmed, no property was harmed. And we made sure that all of the pumpkin pieces, all of the pumpkin mess was. Properly placed for the wild life to eat it. We're hoping that, we we we just made deer food. But I had this wild opportunity come to me. And I said yes. I said, yes, let's do this. I'm not just in. I am I I am with you all the way. Let's go. And we get out there and we're setting up to, you know, record and And we're laughing and we're and we're taking pictures and and honestly, I didn't think I had anything to release. Like I said, I'm not an angry person. Yes, I do know that I don't always get angry. I have a tendency to cry. I will excuse myself and go cry in the bathroom. The Anger has to have a channel to get out. literally the ability to know the things that help you move these big emotions through your body, like seriously, might might just be the difference in you becoming someone you've never been before, a much more regulated version of yourself, a version of yourself that that shows up and and and nobody has to guess what version of you they're going to get. So we're out in this field and we're all ready to go and we have some hype music going and and we go. And from the first strike of the pumpkin, I mean, ooh, I mean, something turned on inside of me. The the pumpkin was hard. I I smacked that pumpkin as hard as I could and nothing. And I smacked that, and now I'm getting mad at the pumpkin because I'm thinking, I'm smashing this pumpkin. now I'm seriously angry at the pumpkin for not breaking. And I start hitting the pumpkin harder then I hear the most satisfying crack. And I know that I'm onto something. And the sheer force, the sheer power of that bat just coming down on the pumpkin, my gosh, this is why people pay to go to rage rooms. This is why people strap on boxing gloves and go at the punching bag. I've known for a while that I don't like to get angry. I've known for even longer that I don't like to argue and that I don't like to debate. I would rather forgive you and cut you out of my life than have an argument with you. I have been arguing my entire life. I am done arguing. But it wasn't until we were done that I realized how much lighter I was. I mean, there we stand with these smashed pumpkins high-fiving and laughing. I mean, we just destroyed these pumpkins. But what a good release. I I was swinging that bat so hard, I rubbed the skin right off of my thumb. Whether you are like me and have never really had a space in your life where you felt safe to be angry, I want you to remember that anger is not the problem. The reaction to the anger is the problem. And what a beautiful exercise. I actually think this is going to be a tradition. I believe that I am going to create an event next year. Bring your pumpkin, bring your bat. This is what we're doing. But if you do this, if you if you smash a pumpkin or if you hit a punching bag. do it with intention. We were about halfway through, and and I found that spot that that that one thing that I was really truly angry about. And I gave it everything, all of the force in me, in that bat, making contact with that pumpkin. Boom! It was this amazing release. And I didn't even realize how amazing the entire process was until we were done. Until I was lighter. So whether you are jumping on this on this viral trend, or you have a lot of anger built up inside of you, if you do not Work through that anger. If you do not release that anger, it will eventually make you sick. So I am encouraging you to take a page out of my playbook today. And when these opportunities to do something that seems crazy to most arise, consider them or don't consider them and say yes and go have a new experience. And if you have the opportunity to punch a punching bag or smash a pumpkin or go to a rage room. Go try it. You might just be surprised at what you can release. You might be surprised that you are holding more anger than you think you are. But either way, you release it, or eventually it will make you sick. Eventually, it will come out and it will do damage that you can't repair. Okay. That's what I have for you today. Until next time.