Latest / Arrivals: A Birth Story Podcast / Part I: A home birth transfer, a 72 hour labor, breath work, and birthing with your sisterhood

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Part I: A home birth transfer, a 72 hour labor, breath work, and birthing with your sisterhood · Arrivals: A Birth Story Podcast

• Merelise: Before we dive into today's episode, I want to talk to you about something incredibly close to my heart, and that's maternal health. I've spoken a lot about my own experiences on this podcast, especially related to mental health, and how important it is to seek help, whether through therapy or medicine. But we all know that's easier said than done. That's where MARE comes in, a virtual maternal health care clinic serving women from preconception through menopause. MARE was founded by a mom, just like you or me. Who struggled to find the support she needed during her own maternal health journey and wanted to create a better experience for other women. MARE brings together therapists, women's health providers, and pelvic floor specialists who understand the unique challenges women face throughout motherhood. MARE believes women deserve care that looks at the whole picture, not just one symptom or one appointment at a time. Book a free 15-minute phone call today and learn more at Mare-4EveryChapter.com. That's Mare M-E-R-E dash for every chapter dot com. Merelise Wilson: Hello and welcome to the arrivals podcast. I'm your host, Marylis Wilson. And today I am so excited. Pinch me moment. I have the amazing mom actress podcast host. business owner, Teresa Palmer here with me today. Teresa: Hi. my gosh. And you said my name correctly, by the way. You said Teresa with a Z. The pronunciation was so spot on. It's usually Teresa, which I actually really love. I think it's so cute. But it's really cool hearing my American friends say like, Teresa. Merelise Wilson: Yeah Thank you. thank you, thank you, I really appreciate that. Yes, it's like so proper sounding. Well, in my head, I call you Tez a lot because I feel like that's what so many your friends call you on the podcast. But I was like, you know, we should probably go more formal for this. Teresa: Yes, has. Well, I'm Tez. Everyone can call me Tez. well, I'm so happy to be here. I heard about this podcast during our women's circle and I just felt so proud of you for following your passion and thank you for creating a platform with resources and for women to come together and share their very differing birth stories and, you know, one size doesn't fit all and that's Merelise Wilson: Yeah Teresa: wonderful. I love that you celebrate all types of birth stories and I've had a number of birth stories so I'm excited to share. Merelise Wilson: thank you. mean, I told Sarah this too, when she came on the Mother Days, which is Teresa's podcast with Sarah Wright Olson has had just such a profound impact on me in so many aspects of my life, but especially in my journey as a maternal health advocate, as someone who is fascinated by birth and all things related to it. And so It just feels so beautiful and special to have both of you guys here sharing your birth stories because they had an impact on how I wanted to give birth as well. Like hearing your stories helped kind of shape like the things that I wanted out of mine. And we talk, I know we talk a lot about manifesting and like aspirational and like, I think several of the births that you and Sarah had were like up there on my manifestation aspirational like birth board when I thought about the kind of births I wanted to have. Teresa: wow. Mmm... Awww... my goodness. love, I love hearing that so much. I'm a huge, not only am I a huge advocate for informed birth, but I also am a big advocate for just consciously calling in the kind of life that you want and the people in your orbit. So all of that work, I am right there with you, girlfriend. I love it so much. I've had so many people up on my manifest board. And then when you like get to meet them or interact with them or come friends, with them whatever it is it's like it's such a like life-affirming moment like it does work it works yeah yeah so let me know where you want me to begin Merelise Wilson: Yes. Yes. One thousand percent. Well. Yeah, I mean, I guess let's talk about Bodhi, about your oldest. He's 12 now. Teresa: Yes, he is 12. Crazy to think I gave birth to him so many years ago now, 2014. And I was that kind of, you said Ina Mae Gaskin just before and I stumbled across her work back in 2011 before I even had met Mark. Merelise Wilson: crazy. Yeah. Teresa: I was in Big Sur. staying in this like amazing hippie house like called the Butterfly House and I was there with my boyfriend at the time and we were just like hiking during the day and like just being immersed in nature reading books and at this house there was um just like a wall of like so many different books and novels and I I've picked one out and along the spine Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Teresa: and it said spiritual midwifery and it looked kind of hippie and it had this really colorful cover and I was like what is this and I started reading through it and I was immediately taken by these stories and these women talking about these psychedelic experiences and these right they were calling like the contractions rushes and waves and feeling ecstatic and I was like what this is not how birth has been represented Merelise Wilson: Yes. Yes. Teresa: In the media? I had just watched that movie knocked up and like the screaming birth scene and the pain and yeah like yeah exactly and so that was my only that was the representation of birth that I was aware of and so I started reading this book and I it was all these beautiful black and white photos from the 80s and the 70s and these women just like rocking and in water and I was like what is this? Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Sweaty, like pissed off. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Teresa: And, you know, my whole life I've wanted to be a mom. one of my... the books that I read at like 19 was what to expect when you're expecting. Like I've always been, I feel like prepping myself for this motherhood journey. And so of course I sat down with this book and I read it right through. And so when it was my time and I had found my love, it was just instantaneous, just the fixation and the obsessiveness and the focus and passion on all things. Merelise Wilson: You Teresa: birth so I did what a lot of people do I just decided to inform myself I watched the business of being born I watched the farm documentary anime Gaskin's documentary about the farm that birthing community that she had and I just like was a sponge I I just read so much there was like these positive Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Mmm. Yeah. Teresa: birthing websites, I would go on and I would only read positive birth stories. I kind of put this boundary up where I only wanted to ingest positive birth stories. it was called the Birth Without Fear blog. That's yeah, and it was really, I remember reading all those stories and it was just gorgeous and Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. yes, I know that. Yeah. Teresa: My husband had a child. he, when I met Mark, he had a four year old little boy and he told me about this amazing home birth that him and Frankie had. So Frankie, who I call my baby mama, Frankie and him had this like really incredible birth story in Beechwood Canyon where Mark and I happened to be living at the time. And when Isaac came out, like Frankie and Mark had their foreheads together and she was standing up and she birthed Isaac and just the imagery of that. I was like, I want that. If she can do it, I can do it. And Merelise Wilson: Ugh. Yeah. Teresa: It's just what I wanted. And so when it came time, I was like 38 plus six, my water broke, which was funny because a lot of the birth stories I'd been reading did not start with just the water breaking. But. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Teresa: Mine broke and it broke in the middle of a lovemaking session with my husband. And I remember being like, whoa, what is this? And then my midwife was like, that's probably not your waters. And I was like, okay. And so she was like, can I check? And I was like, I'm pretty sure I pee myself, but sure you can check. And sure enough, she was like, my God, that is actually amniotic fluid. Merelise Wilson: That's right. That's right. Hahaha. Teresa: I remember just being so giddy and I already had all my affirmations like posted up on the wall. I had this whole section which was like how Mark can be helpful to me. And I had written out all these different things that he could go and look at in the middle of labor like, okay, massaging shoulders, okay, light touch massage, okay, you know, bringing her the cold flannels for her face and the scents and all the things that she wants the crushed ice. So I had written that out because I'm very type A and I'd stuck it up on the wall. Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Teresa: and I was like, okay, so if you need anything, you just refer to the poster board and it has step by step the things that you can do. And then there was affirmations for me on another poster board and they had already been set up in my house and I had my birth pool already there. But then when the water broke at 38 plus six, was, actually it was earlier, it was 38 plus four when the waters broke. I remember. not expecting that because my mum went a week over and I remember just thinking this is I really was expecting this baby to be a Pisces like what so we're in Aquarius territory now Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Right. my gosh. Yes. Yeah, the same thing happened with mine. My first baby was eight days late. And I had already had my mindset on him being born in this month. And I had gotten a necklace with his birth gemstone in it and all these things. And I had to completely transition my thought process. So yes, I get it. Yes. Teresa: Isn't it crazy? I was like, wait, okay, early. Like I was not expecting this for a first. But then what happened to me was my water's broken and nothing happened. And I was with my midwife and she was like, look. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Teresa: Technically, you could probably have about 24 hours until we'd really like to see you be in active labor because once the baby is out of the water, they're less protected and there's more risk of an infection for baby and for you. So we need to really monitor you and try and encourage labor along. And nothing was really working. Like I went, I think my water broke in the middle of the night and then I tried to get sleep throughout that. I couldn't cause I was so excited. So there's all these videos of me really excited with Mark and then the following day, exactly, exactly. I just the anticipation, the excitement, but then the following day it was like nothing happened. And my midwife was like, all right, I'm going to send you an acupuncturist and maybe we can get kickstart things. So the acupuncture acupuncturist came over and Merelise Wilson: Yeah. It's like the night before Christmas. Teresa: Nothing happened. And I was getting these like little sort of cramps. I remember thinking, you're so excited, you have no idea. Like, is this it? I think this is it. my God, this is it. nothing. And then eventually I think we got to about 7 p.m. that night. my midwife was like, well, it's not my favorite thing to do, but let's try castor oil. And I know there's like a lot of differing opinions on castor oil because castor oil does have a pretty intense side effects where you basically shit yourself. You are just on that bathroom and you are clearing that system out. But also castor oil can Merelise Wilson: Mmm. Yeah. Yep. Teresa: affect the baby in the way that it can stress baby out because you're having a lot of big contractions and also your stomach is really upset and you can get dehydrated and all those things. So it's sort of a very last resort I think use these days in the natural birthing circles. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. Teresa: I haven't used it since, but it was the recommendation at the time and I went for it. So I did it, I completely emptied myself out and then sure enough, the contraction started. And so I was like, oh, I'm having rushes, I'm kind of dancing through them. My husband and his friend were like figuring out how to fill the pool. But what I noticed was they were coming up. Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yes. Teresa: quite irregularly, so there was no real pattern to them. And I had read a lot about like, you know, they go for one minute and then you have a four minute break and they come again and then you have a four minute break and then, you know, as you get closer to transition, you start to have like two minutes break in between each one. And mine was not like that. Mine was a real stop-start pattern. Some of them were very intense and then they'd kind of stop again. And it went like that. Merelise Wilson: Hmm. Teresa: for like two more days. So I was at the house like walking up and down the stairs. had my midwife coming and sleeping in the other bed and I was just limping my way through this, just roaring and. Merelise Wilson: Ugh. Teresa: getting through the feelings and the rushes were so intense. And then the next one would wait 10 minutes. I'd be waiting in between for 10 minutes. I remember sleeping in between in the 10 minute break. And then the next one would come and it was just all in my back. I could just feel the most insane pressure in my back. And I remember Sarah was there and. Merelise Wilson: Mm. god. Teresa: hair and mark, putting all this counter pressure on my spine. I just remember thinking like, this is so hardcore. I feel like there's a jackhammer in my spine. Like, why is this not going the way I had anticipated where, you know, it ramps up and then you have your baby, but it would ramp up and then stop and then ramp up and then stop and then it would be so intense and then nothing. then I, sometimes it'd be hours Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Bye. Teresa: contractions. So I remember my my midwife had me doing the side lying release position and that felt just agonizing to be having to lie down not being able to use my body move my body but she thought that maybe that would help baby get into a better position. Now because I was a first-time birther which now of course I've had so many other babies I know exactly what was happening then and I wish myself now could go back and be like this is what you've got to do. Merelise Wilson: my gosh. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Teresa: I would have done the miles circa, I would have got Baby into optimal birthing position, but unfortunately Bodie was just like skew whiff and just kind of twisted in an odd way. He was sunny side up, so I was trying to labour naturally through a posterior baby position and that is, it's not ideal. Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. It's brutal. Teresa: So it is brutal and I remember just going to all the different stations I had set up like okay now I'm going I'm doing the floor station in the squat position now I'm gonna be on the like birthing stool like that's so intense now I'm gonna be on the exercise ball in the shower which I loved in this video of me just being like this is the best my god can I stay here forever and then I remember we I moved into the bath Merelise Wilson: Hahaha Teresa: and I was really sleeping in between the contractions. And my midwife checked me and she was like, you're at nine. And I was like, okay, thank God I'm gonna, I'm finally there. you know, so weird, never, I just, the consistency just wasn't there for me. And she was like, to get you fully dilated, I want you to get out of the bath and we're gonna go over onto the toilet. And I remember the pressure was so extreme. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. yeah. Teresa: just felt like a bowling ball was getting pushed out of my butt hole. I was like, this is so intense. And then eventually she was like, you're at a 10, you are at a 10. And I was like, my gosh. So she had me come back into the bedroom and squat down and start pushing, but she kept asking me and so did Sarah like. Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. yeah Yeah. Teresa: Are you feeling the the fetal ejection reflex? Like is your body pushing? And I was like, no, no. And then what we realized was I actually just didn't have any more contractions. And I was at a 10 centimeter, I was fully dilated with zero contractions. There was no fetal ejection reflex. There was nothing. And my midwife was checking the baby's heart rate and she was like, Merelise Wilson: right. Teresa: look the baby's happy the baby's feels fine i am concerned that you have now not had a contraction for it was about 90 minutes at that point and she's like typically at this point they're strong fast fetal ejection you're pushing and Merelise Wilson: Mm. Right. Teresa: she was like you will not be able to push this baby from behind the pelvic bone without contractions you can't manually push and we tried and tried and tried manually pushing and there was and she was like your cervix is going to swell up you're going to get less dilated Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Ugh. Teresa: I want to make the call now. Like I think we should transfer. And I was like, I have done all this work for days and days and days and like wanted to die halfway through and, and, and now I've got to transfer, but okay, we'll transfer. Okay. The perpetual optimist in me was just like, okay, cool. Do we have the bag? So we all transfer. Sarah's following me in her car and we're driving and I'm... Merelise Wilson: Mm. Yeah. Mm. Yeah. Teresa: on FaceTime with friends like, hi, my God, I can feel the baby's head. And they're like, wait, what? And I was like, I know I'm heading to the hospital though, because I've got no contractions. But I was able to just be, I could feel pressure, but it wasn't an intense pain. So it was just this, and obviously I've never experienced anything like that since. But when we got to the hospital, my body started really shaking. Merelise Wilson: You That's crazy. Yeah! Teresa: And I thought maybe it's because I'm feeling uncomfortable in the hospital setting, but my beautiful doctor, Dr. Crane, who's like a huge advocate in the natural birth world for having vaginal births and you know, he's just, he really supports women's choices. He looked at me and he was like, so you have a fever, which is why you're shaking and. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Hmm. Teresa: I would really like us to get this baby out because it's now been out of the water for a really long time. And we've got to make sure the baby's okay, that you're okay. And he was like, can I give you some Pitocin? I'm just give you, we'll give you the smallest dose. And I just wanted to kickstart those contractions again. And I was like, okay, sure. Knowing that Pitocin, those like artificial contractions. Merelise Wilson: Mm. Yeah. Teresa: are really intense, but I thought I have come so far. Surely it's not gonna be long. The baby, I'm already 10 centimeters dilated. Surely this will just help get that baby underneath the bone and we'll be there. And I'm... Merelise Wilson: No. Yes, just a jumpstart. Teresa: Exactly, a jumpstart. And I remember going in the toilet with my husband, I was holding onto him and I had this little wobble of like, I don't think I can do this. I don't think I can do this. And he was like, you are doing this. You have been doing this. We're at the end. This is the home stretch. Like you're about to meet our baby. You're about to meet Bodie. And I was like, okay, I can do this. I can do this. And I kept, I remember having the little wobble in my mind of like, if I just got the epidural, like. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Teresa: it will just be done so quickly. It'll be over. But then I reminded myself of what my plan was. And I was like, you're here. I had to like soothe the inner child within and be like, you have this. You got this girl. You're right here. You're about to meet your baby. I was like, all right, went back into the hospital. Yeah, was doing my past work. went back into the hospital bed, literally put out my arms. was like, give me the injection. Let's go. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. You were doing parts work. Didn't even know. Yeah. Teresa: They gave me the drip and it only took about 20 minutes for the first one to come. And then once they came, I just knew, cause I'd read so much exactly where to push. was like into my butthole, push into my butthole. And I did, I pushed with all of me and I only pushed, my pushing stage was only 30 minutes for my first, which I now realize is yeah, a very short time. But Merelise Wilson: That's amazing. Teresa: I pushed, I burst all the capillaries on my face. I definitely had what... what I have not done since, since I've learned more about birth. But it was like coached pushing. So someone being like, one, two, three, like, hold your breath and push. And then counting me through pushing rather than letting the body push itself. So I obviously did not want to tear, but because I was doing directed pushing and I was lying on my back, I was not using gravity in any way. Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Teresa: I was not breathing through the ring of fire. I was just pushing with all my might. I had a feeling I was gonna tear and I did. And I felt the tear. It just felt so tight. And I was like, my God, this feels so tight. But I think at that point, I just was so ready to have him out. Merelise Wilson: Mm. Yeah. Teresa: that I was like, I'm just gonna push through this. And I've got the video, my daughter at the time was filming right at my vagina, like right there, like it was so close. can see that, I see it in slow motion and he's coming out fully twisted. His head is in the, it's just in the worst position. I'm like, oh well, that explains it. So, and then the doctor comes in and twists his head the right, Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You no. Yes. Teresa: direction but his ear catches me at the top and it just like explodes. It's like a little mini explosion and I just see it and you hear me scream I let out this little scream and I want to reach through and like hug myself and be like my gosh girlfriend you got this. But you know and it was obviously Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Ugh. Ugh. And now... Ugh. Teresa: That was really intense, that was really painful. It felt like a hot, like a sear. And then that baby just slipped on out and up into my arms and it was the most... remarkable, incredible elation. just was like, I didn't even know what to do with myself. was the best. Like all, just days and days of work led up to this moment. And I wasn't even thinking about my vagina and I was just like, my God. But it's. Merelise Wilson: No. now. Teresa: It's quite interesting to look at the photos of me as this young woman. I was 27 years old. I was so young, giving birth. I look, my whole face is like three times the size of what it should be. have just, all the capillaries are completely broken. My eyes just are almost swollen shut from how hard I was pushing and working and I've had no sleep in days. But just like the stamina of Merelise Wilson: Yeah, that's young. my god. Yeah. Right? Teresa: 27 year old body I think like I just I just kicked in I'm not sure I would have been able to maintain that energy now but back then I just kind of was like yes and yes and keep going keep going keep you know it was like just a marathon and and then unfortunately I had a retained placenta so I again even the pitocin wasn't helping me have any more contractions so my placenta was just Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Right, right. Mm. Teresa: stuck and it didn't it didn't come out at all on its own so Dr. Crane said look I know you haven't had an epidural you are torn so this will be painful but I do have to extract the placenta and I was like my god I've already given birth like I hate that I've still got this part to go and he was like do you want Merelise Wilson: my god. Teresa: an epidural for me to take it out. And I was like, I'm not going to have that epidural now. I'm holding my baby. Like I've come this far. I'm not going to have it now. And he was like, okay, I was hoping you would say that I'm just going to rip this thing out. And I was like, my God. So he reached up through my torn vagina and he yanked that placenta out and he did it very fast, efficient, fast. was probably about Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah Right. Oof. Teresa: 45 seconds and it was the most like intense experience of the whole thing and I had to give Bodhi to Mark because I knew I just like had a pillow over my face just was like and it came on out and and they decided not to stitch me even though years later I've Merelise Wilson: Right. Teresa: often thought, was that the choice? Is that the right choice? But yeah, and that was that birth experience. And it was quite shocking, I think. Afterwards, like in the days after, I was in such a love obsessiveness bubble. Like I didn't even experience the day three drop. I was just like postpartum elation obsessiveness. Like just like, Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Teresa: Like my whole life I'd been waiting for this moment. But I was peeing into a hot bucket of water because where I tore was right by my urethra. So every time I peed, it was so painful. So I had this bucket of water that I'd just sit in and I'd do my wee. And my sweet mom would pour it out and do a fresh bucket next to the toilet for me, like ready for the next time. Merelise Wilson: Yes. Ugh. That's so sad. Teresa: It was just, but I think I was looking back on it and I was like, well, welcome to be, the preparation. I think it was like that welcome to motherhood. It was like a reckoning and I got through it and I had to break up with my expectation of how it would be. And I think that was ultimately the greatest gift. I'm actually happy that. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Teresa: I got through it in that way and it was really different to my expectations because it's just set me up perfectly to know that like you can prepare as much as you want to for birth, for motherhood, for life. And then you got to let it go and it will unfold in the way it's supposed to unfold. And I believe that that was meant to be the birth that I was supposed to have with Bodie. Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. I mean, I think that I know a lot of people get a little bit like sensitive about the idea of a birth plan because birth is like so unpredictable. But I think you articulated really well, like the it's okay to have like preferences and goals and like ideas of how you want it to go. But it's equally as important to remain flexible because it is crazy. It's crazy. Teresa: Mm-hmm. Birth is, it's unpredictable. You just don't know how it's gonna unfold. And I do think now that I've experienced so many births, there are things I could have done differently. But I love like the newness of that experience. I was just in a discovery mode that whole time, like, And then I got to... Merelise Wilson: Right. Yeah. Teresa: learn from that first birth and apply it to my subsequent births. And I've never torn since because I now know one of the things that I'm really passionate about during the pushing stage is slowing down rather than just pushing through that period because to save the vaginal tissue, some of that stress. Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Teresa: just slowing that time down. And whenever a friend of mine is pregnant, they always reach out to me about like, give me some tips for birth. I'm like, if my one thing I would say is like, really listen to your body during the pushing stage. I know you're right there. It's so exciting. You're about to meet your baby, but don't just blast through that moment because you really wanna slow it down and connect in. Use your breath and intuitively. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Teresa: you and your body and your baby will work together during that pushing stage and you can really ensure that you don't tear. There are ways in which you can avoid tearing and so I then have applied that to the other births and luckily have not dealt with that in the birth birth. Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. That's amazing. Did you do any sort of pelvic floor physical therapy after or leading up to when you had your second? Teresa: I didn't but what I did do is I did a fear clearing so I had a lot of fear come up around 37 weeks with with forest and I remember being like my gosh what if I have a posterior baby again I like gosh okay well I've got through back labor I can I know I can do it but also I'd had a friend of mine lose a baby right before labor and just Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Teresa: the way that that shattered our community. And it had just happened, we were pregnant at the same time and I was just taking on so much of that and like grieving for her. And I just realized that I'm carrying so much of this into my own birthing experience and I need to really sit and do a proper fear clearing. So we went through my birth, my first birth and the things that I wanted to do differently. which it wasn't really a lot. A lot of it was just more positioning and preparing for the labor by making sure baby was in an optimal birthing position, which I didn't do with Bodhi. I didn't know about the miles circuit. I didn't know about figure spinning babies. I didn't know about inversions. didn't know about all the things that you can do, chiropractic work. I didn't really do that. Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Right, or spinning babies. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Teresa: And so this time around, not only did I do the fear clearing, I did so much of the spinning babies. And I really think, because my babies like to sit posterior, all of them. My midwives always like their posterior, their posterior. And I have managed to turn them all apart from Prairie my fourth birth. But I was just lazy with her. I didn't turn her. But Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah Teresa: The others I really, I really focused on that. And so then my second birth was just this like glorious, easeful, I was like five days over. And I remember like getting all those messages that you get from people like, the baby here yet? When is this baby coming? You know, all those messages that are by the way, so unhelpful. Don't ever be that person. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah, just don't do it. Teresa: Just don't do it. They're already freaking out and wondering where the baby is themselves. I promise you will find out. You will get the text or the call. Anyway, and I remember I'd got one that morning, another one like, where is this baby? And I burst into tears and I was in the bath with Bodie and Bodie was like two and a half and I was just like, and he was like, why are you crying? And I was like, darling, I'm just... Merelise Wilson: No. You'll know when the baby is here. Yeah. Yes. Mm. Teresa: just so excited for Forrest to be here and mommy's thinking about it a lot. I'm just looking forward to holding him in my arms and having him here safe. And I remember Bodie being like, he's coming, he's probably coming today. I was like, oh. And then I got out of the bath and it was like 9 a.m. in the morning. And I was like, I'm just gonna walk on the property. I'm just gonna walk around on this property. And so I start walking with Bodie. Merelise Wilson: Yeah Teresa: He like, we go on a little walk around and then suddenly I started feeling rushes coming. And I was like, my gosh, I started filming myself. And I walked back down to the kitchen. was like, my gosh, Mark, I've had like six in a row. And he was like, really? And I got all excited and I told my mom and I was like, I've actually had quite a few. And I'm like, okay, so by tomorrow we'll probably have the baby. And I was like, I'm just gonna get back in the bath. And so I ran the bath again and hopped back in and I was like, whoa, these are really strong. Like I don't remember it going zero to a hundred like this. And I was like, whoa, really vocalizing through. And I'd only had been having some rushes for about 30 minutes at this point. And I was like, gosh, do I need to call my dola? Anyway, I call my dola my best friend, cat. And I was like, cat, very random. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Teresa: but I've had these, oh, I started having another one and she was like, oh my God, Tess, that sounds like pretty intense. I'm like, I know it's so weird. I don't know why, but anyway, just letting you know what's going on. She was like, okay, little did I know she packed her bags because she had listened to me on the phone and she knew, yeah, oh, 100%. So she had like dropped her kids off. She had only one kid at the time. She dropped her daughter off and then she started. Merelise Wilson: They know. They know by the sounds. let big wives know by the sounds, yeah. Teresa: driving up to my house, because I was like 30 minutes away from her house. And I stayed in the bath on my own and then Mark decided he was going up to have a shower, up in our shower block. And I was like, okay, gosh, this is really fun. So I started timing them and they were coming every three minutes, like strong and fast. Exactly by the way, how I had read about a lot of these birth stories in the Ina May Gaskin stuff. I was like, Merelise Wilson: Right. Right. Yes. Teresa: Oh, this is what they mean by a pattern, okay. And so every three minutes they were coming and strong. so then I went in the shower and I put my favorite thing, I put my birth ball in the shower, boiling hot water on my back and I'm sitting there. And then I have this one that like knocks me for six. And I suddenly started feeling really vulnerable and afraid. felt fear in this contraction. I was like, what is, this is only maybe 45 minutes in and I'm like, what is going on? And then I'm saying to Mark, I think maybe I need this to slow down. I'm, I can't this for two more days. Cause in my head, I'm still thinking, it's going to be like Bodhi. have these long labors. How am I going to have the stamina for two whole days of this? And I just reminded myself every rush as it comes, every rush as it comes. then Merelise Wilson: Wow. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Teresa: I'm in the bath, back in the bath, I was sort of going between the bath and the shower. And then Kat turns up and she sits with me for two contractions and then she disappears again. And I was like, where's she gone? And little did I know she had run up to the shower, the shower block, and she's yelling through the shower block, Mark, get out of the shower, she's about to have this baby. And Mark's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, she's only just started her labor. And was like, I'm telling you right now, Mark Webber, you need to get out of the shower and we need to go to the hospital now. And he's like, my God, intense. Okay, Kat. And she's a paramedic as well. so she, so yes, I was planning this one at the birth center. So in Australia, there's this amazing program. I know you've heard me talk about it on the podcast, but there is the group practice. Merelise Wilson: Okay, and so you plan to have this one in the hospital? Okay. Birth center. Okay, yeah. Yes. Teresa: program so any Australian listeners please get into your local group practice because it is within the hospital but it's a whole floor that is just midwives and it is a birth center located in a hospital. It is amazing. Every woman has their own massive room with a huge birth pool so you can birth, I can hear Lotus, Merelise Wilson: Yes. Mm-hmm. amazing. Amazing. Teresa: you can birth, you can have water births at the birth center. I mean, it's unbelievable. It's such a great option. And because I didn't qualify for a home birth because I was too far away from the hospital, my house was a little bit too far away. So you can home birth through the group practice, but you have to be within a certain amount of miles from the hospital. Anyway, so. Merelise Wilson: Ugh, that's incredible. Mmm. Teresa: Kat was like, we're getting in the car, we gotta go. And I was like, what? She was like, I'm telling you right now, we have to go. I was like, I haven't even been in labor for an hour. And she was like, it is time. And I remember getting out of the bath and I got down on my hands and knees and I was like, oh my gosh, I'm feeling so much pressure in my bum. And then I'm like crawling to the car, couldn't even walk. I'm crawling to the car. There's a photo of Bodie like. Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Teresa: with his arm around me like and I'm doing a thumbs up with wet hair dripping down I'm like god and I get into the back of the car Mark starts driving with Kat in the car and Kat's handing me flannels and things on my face and and I'm like I'm just in it and then and then we pull up to the hospital and right as we pull up my water breaks everywhere all over the back of the Audi which is our like Merelise Wilson: God. Yeah. my god. Teresa: It was a promo car that I'd been given to drive around just to promote on Instagram. And I'm just like, boom, exactly. It was so gross. And then I look up at Kat and I say to Kat, like, should I, I should get Julie, who's my midwife, I should get Julie to check me. And Kat's like, I think you're okay. I don't think anyone needs to check you. You're about to have this baby. And what I didn't know was happening. Merelise Wilson: They might have retired it after that. Yeah. Teresa: was on the drive, which by the way, Mark took a wrong turn and Kat was freaking out at him. It was just like, what are you doing? You need to get upset. Kat had been calling, secretly calling and messaging her paramedic friends, being like, we're gonna have a baby on the side of the road. You need to meet us. This is where we're at. And like giving updates. Okay, we're here. Okay, we're here. So she really thought that I was about to birth in the car. And have a car birth. Merelise Wilson: my god. Teresa: So then as we pulled up, Julie met us with a wheelchair, but I couldn't even sit down in the wheelchair. I was like holding myself up like, it feels too intense. You just can't sit down. It's painful. And then so she sort of was half wheeling me, was half walking as well. And then I kept pushing in the hallway of the hospital. She was like, just wait, we've got a hundred more steps until you get into the water and it's there and it's perfect. Merelise Wilson: Yeah, at that point you can't sit down. Like it's painful. Yeah. Teresa: And so I was like, all right, I just cannot have the baby on the floor here. And so I ended up slipping into the hot water. And sure enough, that little boy flew out so quickly. He was out 15 minutes after I got into the water. And I remember feeling it starting to feel really tight right where I tore last time. And I've got a video of this. I said to Julie, Merelise Wilson: my God. Hmm. Yeah. Teresa: it's feeling tight up there. And she was like, okay, getting onto hands and knees, it will pull the head off of the top of your vagina. So I got into my hands and knees position and then I moved into the Ina May Gaskin breath work, which was the, all the, like the puppy panting or the, as well as the horse lips. I was like going, and I would rotate between those two things. And I would, and my midwife Julie was like, Merelise Wilson: Mmm. Teresa: little grunts, few little grunts. And so I was like doing these little grunt, small grunt pushes to bring him down and I could feel his head come down. And it was the first time I've had that fetal ejection reflex. And it was just unbelievable. My whole body was pushing him out, but I was using the breath and I could feel myself stretching over his head. And I like eased him out. I put my hands down and I could feel he had so much hair. Merelise Wilson: Mmm. Teresa: and he just kind of eased out into my hand and I didn't ever really push. I was just sort of doing these kind of little grunty pushes, but quite short, just to stretch. And then I felt the head come out and then it was just one last little squeeze and then out he came into my arms and it was unbelievable. He was born at 12, 21 and my very first Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Mmm. Teresa: ever rush or contraction. My first time I started walking with Bodhi was at like 9.08 that morning and by 12.21 he was in my arms. So that was a very fast, precipitous birth and healing and beautiful and it was just remarkable. It was the most incredible experience. He did come out pretty stunned. So he came out and he was just like so quiet. Merelise Wilson: my god. Polar opposite. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. it just sounds heavenly. Like that is Teresa: Heaven. Merelise Wilson: A heavenly birth. Teresa: It was the most dreamy, but I almost didn't make it, which made me be like, I'm such a good candidate for home birth. Like I could just, I could just have a home birth. But yeah, I didn't end up having a home birth until my fourth. So my third, did another birth, and it was really a similar birth to Forrest. It was similar hours. I Forrest was three hours. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Mmm. Teresa: Poet's birth was four hours. And again, same midwife, same program. That one was slightly different because actually they burst my waters. That was my very first pregnancy where I had these antibodies. So the baby, I had to see like an MCM. Merelise Wilson: Mmm. Wow. yeah. Teresa: Sorry, that's wrong. I had to see an MFM, a maternal fetal medicine specialist, because, you know, I have isoimmunization pregnancies, which means like the baby just, yeah, sure. Basically it means my husband has an antigen. It's called the Duffy FYB antigen. And they think that he got this through his mother's like very rare blood type. And so, Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah, can you talk a little bit about that? Teresa: his body has created this like defense mechanism. And then what often happens is if your partner has an antigen, when you become pregnant, often the antigen goes into the placenta of the baby and then my body recognizes it as this foreign thing that needs attacking. So then my body creates these antibodies because it's now got this Duffy FYB antigen through the placenta. I think that's the very basic way of describing what happens. And so then the good news is the antigen is a very rare one, but it's a very mild, incredibly mild. The worst that could happen is the baby can get anemic. anyway, they do like to see babies who have Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. Teresa: like this iso-immunization issue, they do like to see them being born by 37 to 38 weeks. And at this point I was 40 plus two and we went in for a scan and I think I just got a little bit in my head because the doctor was like, you know, there's calcification on the placenta and I had tested positive for these antibodies and my antibodies were getting stronger and stronger. Merelise Wilson: you Mm. you Mm. Teresa: as my first little girl, I'm just like, all right. I've been having these prodromal labor. It's been stop, start, stop, stop over the last couple of weeks. Should we just nudge it along with a water breaking? And my midwife was like, you know what? You're here now. Like, let's just get this going. Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. you Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Teresa: And then we can make sure the baby isn't anemic. And if she is, we can test her Billy Reuben and we can put her under lights if we need to. And at this point, my specialist was like, she wasn't making me feel uncomfortable, but she kept reminding me that, we like to see these babies born by 39 weeks. I think in retrospect, I probably could have let her cook a bit longer. Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Teresa: Because I'd been having prodromal labor, I figured it would be fine. we ended up, the midwife broke my water and I started walking up and down the hospital, up and down the hills. Forrest was nursing at the time on my boob to help just bring labor on. He was only two. Yeah, to stimulate and every time he nursed and I had all my friends around ready to go at this point. Merelise Wilson: Stimulate, yeah. So beautiful. Teresa: The birth before Forrest was so fast that Gemma Peanut, my birth photographer didn't even make the birth, it was so fast. So this time around I was prepared, I had everyone in the room, we knew what was happening and so my birth photographer Gemma was there and all my friends were there who were gonna be at the birth and I loved to birth with the sisterhood so my best friends were there around and some of them were helping with the other, with the boys and... Merelise Wilson: you Teresa: you know, other ones were like bringing me kombuchas and you know, dancing with me in the shower and that one was such like a sisterhood birth because like, and it went really fast again, like I after he was nursing, it was just like, it really picked up. And I think, labor started around seven ish that that's where the, the rushes really came in. I think my water was broken about five 30, nothing happened until Merelise Wilson: Ugh, that's so cool. Yeah. Teresa: Forrest was really nursing and I was walking up and down. And then once it was on, just like Forrest's labor, it was on. And it went on and it was hard and it was fast, but I was like ecstatic. It was like, I was just on another planet. I'm smiling and dancing and we were listening to Florence and the Machine in the shower. My friends were all in there, we were all singing. It was just joyful. And Mark really let the women be in the bathroom with me. Merelise Wilson: Hmm. Ugh. Just like joyful. Yeah. Teresa: It was just such an incredible experience. And then I remember getting into the water thinking, okay, now is time. And that's when I had my first and only cervical lip. So Sarah, as you know, she has cervical lips in all of her labors. And because Sarah had had a cervical lip and she had told me the feeling of it, I suspected I had one because I was Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Teresa: right at transition and they, you know how they barrel down on top of each other. These, these rushes were just coming hard and fast, hard and fast, but I couldn't feel the fetal ejection reflex coming in. And I remember being like, I'm working so hard, but it doesn't feel like the baby's coming down. And I will, I should also say that I had done all the work to make sure she was in the optimal birthing position as I did with Forest. So, Merelise Wilson: Hmm. you Teresa: Both of those labors, it was all at the front. I had nothing in the back, which just, I'm telling you right now, it is night and day. Feeling it all wrapped in the front was so manageable for me. But I remember in this moment right at the very end, I was like, I am working so hard, but I'm not feeling her shift down. She's just not, I feel stuck or something. And so I had my midwife check me and she was like, You do, you have a lip, you have a cervical lip. And I was like, I knew it, I could feel it. I just knew because it'd been about 10 minutes of these really hardcore one after the other. And I remember with Forest, it was really super hardcore like that. But then I was like straight into the pushing stage. And this, the pushing stage could have, this could have lasted for hours if I hadn't have said something, I'm sure my midwife would have picked it up but. She checked me and she was like, yep, you do have a cervical lip. Come on the toilet. I'm going to hold the lip back with my hand and I'm going to have you push my hands out the way, like push as hard as you can with your body so that the baby's head kind of pushes my hands out the way. And I was like, okay. So we did two contractions like that on the toilet, which was so intense. It was the most intense part of the whole labor. And there's a really funny photo of my two besties like, woo, like taking photos with me in the background. I've got a flannel in my head. I'm like dying in the back, like on the toilet, like, and they're just like woohoo in the photo at the front. It's such a good selfie. And then, yeah, I was like, cheers, cool. Yeah, I'm glad you're having fun. And then I could, I felt the head, the head pushed her hands away. I felt it. Merelise Wilson: you You're like, thanks guys. Hahaha Teresa: And then I just felt her drop into that position and it was just the sweet relief. And I like waddled back into the water and I got in and she was out in like three more rushes. She was out and I was just elated. They are among my favorite birth photos, those ones. I just, I couldn't believe it. And my first little girl and I just was like, my. Merelise Wilson: Mmm. yes. Teresa: It was the best, it was the best feeling. And again, with my beautiful midwife, Julie, it was just, it was incredible. And I did all the same things at that pushing stage, rotating, moving between the horse lips and the little puppy pants. And that was exactly how I made sure that I stretched. And I just really took that stage of birthing really slowly. Merelise Wilson: Hmm. That's so beautiful. Were either of your boys there for her birth or were they... were they not there? They were. that's so amazing. Teresa: They were, everyone was there. They saw everything. Yeah, I've got video of like Bodhi doing light touch massage on my back and there's this gorgeous video of them just like right as she came out, my friends brought them to watch and they could see everything and they're cheering and Forest was asleep. It's the coolest having them. Merelise Wilson: Ugh. I think that's the coolest. Teresa: Well, my kids have always been around watching me birth, which is really awesome. And I think especially it was deeply impactful for Bodie being 11, this last birth, because afterwards he was like, I can't wait to be a support person for my wife one day when she's birthing in the water at home. I was like, well, you have to see how she wants to birth, but you can share the story of how you were there and you watch your mom do it. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Bye. That's, that's so amazing. I was just talking with someone else the other day who, she's had both of her older boys at her most recent birth. And I was saying it's, it's such a gift to like allow to be able to witness anyone's birth is like such a gift, but it's such an amazing gift. think you can give your kids, but especially boys to give them an early awareness and like appreciation of what women's bodies can do. Teresa: Mmm. Yes. Merelise Wilson: It's just so amazing because like my husband, for example, he's the best. I love him. Like could I ask her about a better partner? But he had never witnessed a birth when it came time for me to give birth, you know? And so I think it was he had rightfully so like he has his own fears around it. He didn't know a lot about it. like, so to just already like give your boys that like jumpstart and your girls, obviously too, but especially boys, because I just feel like they often are left out of the process, like to give them that. Teresa: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yes. Merelise Wilson: gift and to give their future partners that gift of like just being raised appreciating it and appreciating like the natural way that you know our bodies can do it's so special. I love it. Teresa: It was so important for me to have them there. And that's why with Prairie's labour, it was at the tail end of COVID. And so at the hospital, I would have just birthed that same way because I've had such positive births through the group practice. Merelise Wilson: Mm. Yeah. Teresa: their policy at the time was it could only be your husband or your partner plus one other support person. And I was like, but I need all my children. Like I need all my kids around, my mom's here, my friends, like my girlfriend, we're a sisterhood. And then that's actually how that informed my choice of to still go through the group practice, but to do it with their home birth, which actually meant I had to get an Airbnb close to the hospital. Merelise Wilson: Hmm. Right. And my girlfriends, yeah. Yes. That's right. That's Teresa: birth in an Merelise Wilson: right. Teresa: Airbnb, but I didn't tell them that I was birthing at their house. Merelise: Tune back in for part two of Teresa's birth story tomorrow.