Latest / Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing / #283| 4 Rules From My To-Don't List That Prevent Overwhelm Before It Ever Starts (Do This Too, So You Can Have Time To Do What You Actually Want!)
Transcript
- 0:00Michelle Gauthier: When you listen today, you will learn seven rules that are on my own to don't list that will help you prevent overwhelm before it even starts.
- 0:08Michelle Gauthier: You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less.
- 0:20Michelle Gauthier: I'm your host, Michelle Gauthier, a former Overwhelmed Working Woman and current life coach.
- 0:25Michelle Gauthier: On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's working woman experiences.
- 0:30Michelle Gauthier: And in each episode, you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease, and relaxation to your life.
- 0:37Michelle Gauthier: Hi, friend.
- 0:41Michelle Gauthier: Here's the thing about a to-do list.
- 0:43Michelle Gauthier: It just keeps always growing.
- 0:45Michelle Gauthier: You add to it faster than you can cross things off, and somehow a bunch of stuff ends up on your to-do list and your calendar that you never actually wanted to do in the first place.
- 0:54Michelle Gauthier: So a couple years ago, I stopped trying to manage my to-do list better and I started a to-don't list instead.
- 1:00Michelle Gauthier: It's not extra work, it's the opposite.
- 1:02Michelle Gauthier: It's things that I don't even have to think about because I know that I don't do them.
- 1:07Michelle Gauthier: Things that are on this list are an automatic no, they never get on my calendar.
- 1:11Michelle Gauthier: I don't take time deciding.
- 1:12Michelle Gauthier: I have 14 rules on my list currently, maybe 15.
- 1:15Michelle Gauthier: I think I just added a new one.
- 1:17Michelle Gauthier: But today I'm sharing with you seven of the rules.
- 1:19Michelle Gauthier: And there's more coming in part two, but these seven alone, or even just one of these, can change how much is ending up on your to-do list and your calendar and causing overwhelm for you.
- 1:29Michelle Gauthier: When you listen today, you'll learn the rules I live by from my closet to my calendar to my kids, why a to-don't list does more for your overwhelm than any to-do list ever could, and how to start building your own list one rule at a time.
- 1:42Michelle Gauthier: Grab a pen because you might want to jot some of these down.
- 1:45Michelle Gauthier: Let's get started with rule number one.
- 1:48Michelle Gauthier: I don't keep clothes that I don't wear.
- 1:50Michelle Gauthier: I am relentless about this rule the other day.
- 1:53Michelle Gauthier: I was getting dressed and I put on this top, a new top that I had gotten this summer.
- 1:56Michelle Gauthier: And I wore it once before and I thought it was a little bit tight and a little awkward fitting.
- 2:00Michelle Gauthier: And I put it on the second time, I was like, yeah, I just don't like the way that this looks.
- 2:04Michelle Gauthier: And I went to go put it back on the hanger and I was like, oh, I don't keep clothes that I don't wear.
- 2:08Michelle Gauthier: That's right.
- 2:09Michelle Gauthier: So I just threw it directly into my always present in my closet, open little basket of things that are gonna go to goodwill.
- 2:17Michelle Gauthier: That's a good tip, too, by the way.
- 2:18Michelle Gauthier: I recommend having that in your closet because then you don't have to think about it or find a place to put it or think, oh, I'll give that away next time I clean out my closet.
- 2:24Michelle Gauthier: You just immediately put it in there.
- 2:26Michelle Gauthier: Having this rule of I don't keep clothes that I don't wear really saves me a ton.
- 2:32Michelle Gauthier: When I clean out my closet, I can do it very quickly because along the way I'm cleaning it out.
- 2:36Michelle Gauthier: If I try on a pair of jeans, I'm like, oh, I don't like these, or there's stain on these that I couldn't get out and it bugs me.
- 2:41Michelle Gauthier: They just go directly into that giveaway pile.
- 2:44Michelle Gauthier: And that's the whole point of the to-don't list.
- 2:45Michelle Gauthier: It's not a decision you make in the moment when you're tired and it's just easier to hang the shirt back up.
- 2:50Michelle Gauthier: You already decided.
- 2:51Michelle Gauthier: The rule decides for you.
- 2:52Michelle Gauthier: In my home, I don't clean my own house.
- 2:55Michelle Gauthier: When I used to clean my own house, I would think, okay, on Saturday, I'm gonna do the bathrooms, and then next week I'll try to deep clean the kitchen.
- 3:01Michelle Gauthier: It's just an entire recurring test that's gone from my to-do list permanently.
- 3:05Michelle Gauthier: Not all get to it eventually.
- 3:07Michelle Gauthier: It's just gone from my list.
- 3:09Michelle Gauthier: One rule I have with my kids that I love is that I give my kids an allowance and then I will match half on almost anything they want to buy, a big purchase.
- 3:17Michelle Gauthier: Like my daughter used to ride horses, and when she'd want to buy a new saddle, I would pay for half of it, but they have to have their half first.
- 3:24Michelle Gauthier: So I don't give them money beyond that.
- 3:26Michelle Gauthier: And this single rule ends every negotiation before it even starts.
- 3:29Michelle Gauthier: No more, can I have $20 for this or could I use your credit card on this?
- 3:33Michelle Gauthier: They know exactly how much money they're getting, and that if they want a big item, I will pay for half of it, but they have to have their half first.
- 3:40Michelle Gauthier: This has saved me countless hours because I used to do it the other way.
- 3:44Michelle Gauthier: That's why I made this list.
- 3:45Michelle Gauthier: Career-wise, I don't work on weekends or see clients after my regular work hours.
- 3:51Michelle Gauthier: This one really helps me in two different ways.
- 3:53Michelle Gauthier: First of all, it keeps my weekends and my evenings open to spend time with my kids or do whatever it is that I want to do, but it also makes me very focused during the hours that I work.
- 4:02Michelle Gauthier: So if I know that I am working from eight o'clock to three o'clock on one day, I am working.
- 4:07Michelle Gauthier: I'm not kidding around during that time because I'm very specific about those work hours.
- 4:12Michelle Gauthier: And then things that I do in my free time, I do not attend things out of guilt.
- 4:17Michelle Gauthier: So if I really want to go to something and I'm a heck yes, I will definitely do it.
- 4:22Michelle Gauthier: If I say I feel like I should or I'll feel guilty if I don't, I'm not going.
- 4:26Michelle Gauthier: It's not even a question.
- 4:27Michelle Gauthier: Think about over the course of the year that guilt attendance, how many hours of your year that that could fill if you allowed for that in all cases?
- 4:37Michelle Gauthier: A lot, a lot of activities.
- 4:39Michelle Gauthier: This is one that definitely won't resonate with everyone, but I don't own a car that isn't cool to me.
- 4:44Michelle Gauthier: This isn't really keeping things off my to-do list.
- 4:47Michelle Gauthier: It's just about never spending a minute talking myself into something that doesn't actually make me happy.
- 4:52Michelle Gauthier: When I first got divorced, I was like, okay, I need kind of a boring, reliable car because I'm single and I can't afford to have to take my car into the shop.
- 5:01Michelle Gauthier: And I just had all this mind drama about it.
- 5:03Michelle Gauthier: And I bought this brand new, really nice, reliable car.
- 5:06Michelle Gauthier: I was like, I hate this, I'm not doing this ever again.
- 5:10Michelle Gauthier: So yours might not be a car, but there could be something in your life that you won't compromise on.
- 5:15Michelle Gauthier: Okay, and then the last one that I want to talk about today, this is number seven for this episode, is I don't think about what other people are thinking about me.
- 5:22Michelle Gauthier: This is the single biggest time saver on this entire list, and it's not even close.
- 5:27Michelle Gauthier: Think about how much time you probably spend in a day, that mental loop that could eat an entire afternoon if you let it.
- 5:33Michelle Gauthier: If I'm thinking about what other people are thinking about me, which is probably nothing, but it's just a waste of my time.
- 5:40Michelle Gauthier: But even if they are thinking something about me, what difference does it make?
- 5:44Michelle Gauthier: It's not gonna change how I act.
- 5:46Michelle Gauthier: So why not just not worry about it?
- 5:49Michelle Gauthier: You might be listening to those seven rules of mine and think, okay, three of those I just don't agree with, or those don't apply to me.
- 5:57Michelle Gauthier: This is not, oh, take my list and make it your own.
- 5:59Michelle Gauthier: It's hear my list.
- 6:01Michelle Gauthier: See how this could help you eliminate wasted time, wasted worries, wasted brain space, wasted things on your calendar by making your own to don't list.
- 6:11Michelle Gauthier: So here's what I challenge you to do.
- 6:13Michelle Gauthier: We're gonna be talking about the rest of my to-don't list next Thursday.
- 6:17Michelle Gauthier: So I challenge you between now and next Thursday to think about one to don't for your rules.
- 6:24Michelle Gauthier: Think of one rule, just your first rule on your own to-don't list.
- 6:29Michelle Gauthier: And maybe it's one of mine, or maybe it's something that come to mind as you're listening to it, or something completely different.
- 6:34Michelle Gauthier: But I challenge you to try to think of something and start drafting your own to-don't list.
- 6:38Michelle Gauthier: Just pop open your phone right now and start a note in the notes app.
- 6:42Michelle Gauthier: Today we talked about why a to-don't list is an amazing tool to enable you to do less by just not even having to think about things, no decision fatigue involved.
- 6:52Michelle Gauthier: Come back for part two next week for seven more rules, maybe eight, can't remember if I'm 14 or 15, including one about my handsome man friend.
- 7:01Michelle Gauthier: See you next week.
- 7:02Michelle Gauthier: Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast.
- 7:10Michelle Gauthier: If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at michellegauthier.com.
- 7:16Michelle Gauthier: See you next week.