Latest / Deeply Well with Devi Brown / The Value of Discipline with Ron “Boss" Everline

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The Value of Discipline with Ron “Boss" Everline · Deeply Well with Devi Brown

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Deeply Well. This show is a soft place
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: to land on your journey, a space where we explore
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: what it truly means to live well.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: From the inside out.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Not perfectly, but honestly, this is Deeply Well.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: Welcome back to Deeply Well. I'm Debbie Brown.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Today's guest is Ron Boss Everline, a world-renowned performance coach, entrepreneur, investor,
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: and managing partner at Heartbeat Ventures. While fitness may have
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: been the foundation of Boss' career, his work today extends
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: far beyond the gym. He's built an expansive business ecosystem
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: rooted in the same principles that have shaped his approach
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: to performance. Discipline, consistency, relationships, and a commitment to getting
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: better every single day. As an entrepreneur and investor, Boss
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: has worked alongside and invested in brands, including C4, Fabletics, Symbiotica,
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: and many others, bringing not only capital, but his perspective
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: on culture, community, brand building, and growth. That evolution has
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: ultimately led him deeper into the world of venture capital
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: through his work with Heartbeat Ventures. Today, we're talking about
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: what it really takes to pursue greatness. especially on the
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: days when you don't feel like showing up, the difference
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: between mental health and what Boss calls mental weakness, and
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: how the mindset that built his career has evolved as
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: he stepped into new rooms as an entrepreneur and investor.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: So please welcome to the show, my friend, Ron Boss Everline.
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: I'm so excited to be here. Long time coming.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: Long time coming.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: Thank you for that intro. That was well said. Sometimes
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: I don't even think about Some of the stuff you
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: said is just like in motion. I'm kind of like, whoa,
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: I'm like reminding. Yeah. Isn't it?
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: I find it so interesting when you get to hear,
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: you know, some of your life or your pillars reflected
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: back to you.
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: And then you really get to see all the things
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: that fed into the other thing or all the branches
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: that were needed, you know, for, for every part of
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: your path. Yep.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: Um, Say what you said again, because I want to
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: make sure, because I told you I like to be
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: super clear.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: Because these podcasts are forever. Yeah. And these moments are forever.
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: I think the same way. So I heard something, but
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: I want to make sure I understand it very clearly.
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: So I guess from my ear, what I enjoy for
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: myself when I think about my life and all the
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: different windy roads, and then when I'm kind of, moving
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: through someone's history.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: I was a kid that grew up who loved to
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: read autobiographies.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: Like the autobiography of Malcolm X is like one of
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: the first like books I like read and like lived with.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: And I used to love to read, you know, when
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: you read about people in the past, you see birth
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: to death and then you see how many different roads
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: people took. And sometimes how many things you didn't even
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: realize made perfect sense. Like developmentally, you needed this experience,
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: that experience here. And so what I love when I
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: go through someone's intro is like you get to kind
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: of even hear what evolved into the next thing. And
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: you're just kind of remembering like all the little steps.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: That took to get something and then usually you're done
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: with something and you're on to the next and, you know,
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: it just grows.
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I think part of that is like the curiosity.
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: For me, it's the curiosity, but the yearning to want
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: to be more and putting more on myself in that place.
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: And to your point, there wasn't a thing for me.
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: It was the opportunity. And what the opportunity was, was
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: being in something for what it was in the moment.
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: I've tried to always be within the moment as a
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: young kid, as someone growing up, I've tried to make
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: sure that I'm in the moment, even though I'm not
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: always in the moment, the consciousness is trying to be
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: in the moment and accepting things. So as this history,
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: as this book unfolds, right. As we start to finish
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: and you know, you said it very well, birth to,
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: what did you say? Birth to death.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: Birth to death. Yeah. Beginning to end.
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Beginning again. Right. It's like, I want to continue
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: to write these chapters. So I want that curiosity to
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: still be there. So I don't think about what has
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: been done. All I'm thinking about is what I've learned
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: and how that can be expound on. How can I
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: continue to expand on what I've experienced? And then who
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: do I take with me? And how do people adjust
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: to what I'm saying? And how do I adjust to
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: what I'm saying to the listener? Whether it's my close
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: friends or the people away from me, What is that message?
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: How do I show the evolution of boss through what
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: I'm doing, not just what I'm saying? So when I
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: am saying something, you actually can see it and feel it.
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: I'm not caught up in the accolades. The accolades, I've
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: never been an accolades guy. I'm an ex-football player. I
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: tried to pursue an NFL career. I go back to realizing, like,
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: I never really cared about the trophies.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: I just wanted to win the game. And that's who
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: I've always been. I used to have homies that remembered
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: the scores and knew exactly where we were and how
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: we did it. And I was just like, I remember
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: if we won or lost. You know what I mean? Yeah.
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: And I never try to follow the details as close
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: because that also is a distraction to where you're trying
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: to go. Because I don't want to celebrate too many wins.
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: Because sometimes we get so caught up celebrating... that we
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: lose focus of where we're actually trying to go. It's
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: the gift and the curse though, because you should celebrate.
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: But celebrating too often creates moments of laziness and complacency
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: and thinking you've accomplished something when I believe there's so
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: much more to accomplish.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: There's so many things I want to dive into in
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: what you just expressed. Most especially at the end, I
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: find that interesting. I'm so similar to you in a
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: lot of the ways that you just described. And it's like,
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: I really get that. And it's not the way that
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: society trains people to be because society is constantly training
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: everyone to.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: Outsource their worth, right?
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: So it's like, you have to look for it and
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: find it. And all these identities, I'm this, I'm that,
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: I do this, whatever your Instagram bio is, or, you know,
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: it's like, But what you just said is so real.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: What I hear in a lot of what you say,
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: and I'm going to expand on some of it in
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: just a second, but it's really choosing a path of mastery.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: And it's like the long form work of excellence over time.
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: And I think.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: People need the advice to celebrate their wins if they
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: have had a life where they've had trouble celebrating themselves
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: or they haven't had that kind of feedback. But if
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: that's all you do all the time, that's not.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: What you need to do.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: You need to stay focused on the work and just
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: continue to move forward. But in what you're saying, like
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: I really hear too, it's like, and I think it's
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: hard for people to understand.
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: And especially if they see how.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: You're kind of wired, probably the assumption would be that
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: you're competition driven. But in fact, what I hear and
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: understand is like, you're driven by your line of excellence
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: and And connected to what you're meant to build. And
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: it has nothing to do with what's happening around you.
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you're so true. I do say it's competition, though.
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: Interesting.
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: I do say it's competition. But I'm competing with my
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: old self. And as whatever that looks like, right? Like,
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: you go out and you have a bad night. And
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: you go, oh, that wasn't the best character, right? You
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: got to make sure that you're changing, right? And evolving
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: and learning who you are. And then I want the
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: people around me to push me and I'm able to
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: push the people that I'm around. So I do tell
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: people we compete to uplift. We don't compete to destroy. Right.
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: Like there's a natural funness in creativity in competition. For me,
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: I grew up in a competitive household, played sports. My
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: sister was better than me. I had brothers that played.
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: My sister was better than me in all sports. And
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: it was a hard thing growing up, but I worked
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: myself into being competitive enough to where that conversation changed.
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: Not mad enough, not envy, not jealous, not feeling bad
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: for myself, saying, damn, my sister got it. No, I'm
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: going to work myself into being exceptionally well at the
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: things I do. And We competed, but it was a
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: fun competition, right? Because I love her. And then I realized,
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: we talked about this right before, it's like I've learned
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: to love everybody, not like everybody, right? But I can
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: compete with you to be great because, and we don't
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: even ever got to sit in the same room, but
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: I want you to go be your best self.
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: And if that is like, are you coming for me? Maybe.
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: But if that makes you go push a little bit more,
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  Speaker 3: because I know my personality also isn't for everyone. I
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: am a person that wants to push you to your limit.
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: I want you to go for all the things that
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: I think you're deserving of. And if that's not who
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: you want to be around, don't come around me. But
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: don't say, you know, people tend to say they don't
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: like people because certain personality traits, which is totally fine.
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: But if My competitive nature that makes me who I am,
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: you can't fault me for that and I can't fault
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: you for yours we just need to go around things
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: that fuel us and so that's what I've learned I've
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: learned to go feed myself with the things and the
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: people that constantly evolve me into who the best version
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: of boss is trying to go if you're the best
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: who's pushing me who's pushing you to say Oh, we
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: did this. This is the next evolution of where Debbie's
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: going to go. Like you should be striving like, okay,
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: they doing them type of numbers on their podcast. I
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: want to like, I want to be inspired, but that
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: that's not a, I'm competing with you directly. It's an indirect,
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: like I want to be mentioned in the, in the top.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: This is so interesting to me. and where my mind
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: is kind of going with it. Cause it's like in
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: a moment in time like this, and I'm really curious
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: your thoughts on this. Cause I have no idea in
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: a moment in time like this, like what really is inspiration?
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: Because I think, you know, the zeitgeist of the time,
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: the way we've kind of flowed into this new reality
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: over the last 10 years, I think there is just
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: so many millions of people that, the focus is on
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: like numbers, right? Like how many views, how many streams,
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: how the, the virality of it all or the content
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: creation of it all. And so it's like, what does
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: inspiration mean now? Is inspiration just seeing bigger numbers from
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: other people and saying, I'm going after numbers? Like when
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: I think of inspiration, right? Like I think of those
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: things that like ignite your spirit from the inside out.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: Like inspiration feels to me tied to some level of
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: like sacredness of skill of like, just like more, but
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: not necessarily more in numbers. So I'm just so curious,
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: like what does that mean to you now, inspiration?
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, inspiration to me is like, who am I becoming
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: and who are you becoming? Not the currency of numbers.
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: The currency of numbers we can get lost in. Because
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: that is subjective to where you are starting, to where
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: you're trying to go. So like that isn't the thing
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: for me.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: The thing for me is like getting with someone and
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: they're telling me they're building blocks. I started here. Here's
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: where I, you know, I was an assistant. I worked
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: myself to be this type of executive. Like that's the inspiration. Yeah, yeah.
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: seeing people come from bondage right like coming from you
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: know their social economic you know financial totally like that's
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: inspiration to see somebody overcome to see someone lose someone
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: and say you know what I'm gonna that's what inspiration
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: strives me it's like what's the strength in you in
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: the hard time that's what's inspiring it's like not that
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: when things that we've heard this saying like who are
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: you when things are going bad not when everything is
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: going good I seek for that level of inspiration in today.
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: When people decide to make a decision to be positive,
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: to take control of their lives, even when things aren't
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: going well. And I think that is inspirational. Someone that
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: is so focused on climbing that ladder, someone that is
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: so focused on getting healthy, that is inspiration. Someone is
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: taking control of their health because they lost it. Someone
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: that said, hey, I was an alcoholic or I was
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: a drug addict. And making a decision to say I
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: no longer would do that. Those are the things that
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: I love about the inspirational story. Someone starting something new.
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: You know, you're jumping to a new chapter of business
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: or entrepreneurship or motherhood or fatherhood. All of these things
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: of like how you're navigating it with a positive perspective.
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: Negative is too easy. Negative is too easy. We got
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: enough of that around us. Yeah. I love inspiration from
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: a place of positivity that someone is striving to constantly say,
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: I'm trying to get better. The currency of social media
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: will just be the currency. That has become the new currency. Right, right.
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: Let that be what it's going to be.
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: I don't... We all understand that. But what I look
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: for is when a person tells me... Use performance. Yeah.
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: I want to change. I hear it all the time.
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: I'm ready to change my life. I'm ready to change
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: my life. I've been doing this long enough. I'm an
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: expert in my craft. I know when someone is really
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: ready to change their life. I can see in their tone.
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: I can hear what they say. I can tell you
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: when they say today. When are you ready to start? Today.
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: I can tell you when a person says, give me
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: a few more weeks. You're not ready. I'm fueled by
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: the person to say today. I'm fueled by, I don't overthink.
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: I don't overthink. My team goes, oh, we need to
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: figure this out. No, we don't. We need to just go.
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: Figure it out as we go. That's just who I am. Great.
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: Need you guys. But you also need me. Because overanalysis
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: creates paralysis. We won't do nothing if we keep thinking
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: about all the things that could go wrong.
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: Right, right, right.
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: We got to think about all the things that can
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: go good. I'm inspired by that and those people because
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: I'm like, all right, shit, we going, we going.
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: Momentum. Yeah.
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: That's who I am. I'm an energy seeker. Yeah. If
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: you ain't got the good energy, That's inspiration. I don't
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: want you around me. I called one of my guys
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: out yesterday. He probably didn't like it. And he was
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: doing something. And I was like, what's up with your energy, bro?
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: Because I'm like, I don't show up with bad energy.
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: A lot of things that is going bad.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: Right, right, right.
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: I'm inspired by finding out someone woke up today with
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: a bad day and still decided to choose positivity and
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: not share that with somebody else. Yes. That's what inspiration
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: is to me. Yes. So long answer, yes.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: That's inspiration.
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, yes.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: And people need to hear that because I think in
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: this day and age and depending what kind of support
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: and guidance you have at home, young people are growing
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: up or young adults are coming into themselves really not
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: understanding what you're even reaching for or could be reaching for.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: And in everything that you described, it's like, Psychological fortitude.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: I'm so inspired by that. You know, like everything you explained,
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: like life is hard. That's the thing everybody has to
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: really accept. Like being alive is hard. It is challenging.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: And we still have a choice. You know, we still
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: have choices and being able to show up and not
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: always place all your holding on everyone around you.
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: Can I share what you just said for context? I
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: lost my mom when I was 11. My mom had
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: nine kids.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: As much as I want to be like, I feel
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: sorry for myself. And again, that's a hard thing. I
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: have family members that have made it.
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: Extraordinarily hard.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: But I made a choice to be like, I would
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: want my mom here, but because she's nine, I'm going
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: to do everything to make her proud. I made a
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: choice that when I asked why, I also said, why
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: not me? Why would I want that for someone else? Yeah.
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: But that's just how I had to look at it.
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: And that became what you just talked about, that mental fortitude.
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: What is, how are you choosing to stay positive? Nothing
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: changes by me being like, I, I can say I
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: went through some things, but nothing changes. My mom doesn't
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: come back. No one knows the context when I'm a dickhead. Sorry.
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: You know, no one knows the context of, Oh, why
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: I had a bad day. They just go, he's a
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: bad guy. That's a mean woman, all this.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: Right, right.
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: No one actually knows or cares. Right. So do I
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: choose to make someone feel great and make the decision
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: to say, yeah, things are hard. I don't have all
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: great days.
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: Right, right.
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: But I live by the 80-20 rule. Am I 80%
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: a bad person? Am I 80% a good person? 20% bad? 20% good?
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: You outweigh those odds. Then you decide if you're an inspiration.
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: Are you showing up? Is it inspirational to others to say, man,
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: that person that when they walk in the room again,
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: I don't got to like you. I still have love
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: for you. I can still wish you well from over there.
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: I want you to go do good.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: You know, you're my, you're one of my favorite people
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: to talk to. Um, we've had the chance to work
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: together on a few things and we've done a wellness
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: oasis together in Miami. We've done two together in France
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: at can and just. always powerful conversations and shifts. And
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: it's been cool. Cause I've seen you, I've had the
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: chance to see you in a few different elements. So
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: I've seen you one, like just working people to the
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: damn bone. Like I've seen you in action in that capacity,
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: but then also as a speaker, you know, and just
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: really speaking to and driving home these kind of bigger
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: concepts of transformation and And.
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: Then I've also had the chance.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: To see you with your absolutely gorgeous, amazing wife and
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: your family. One of the reasons I'm highlighting this, and
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: I think it's special to point out, is there is
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: always still a through line. It's kind of cool to
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: get to see someone in a few different ways because
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: you see who is really themselves, you know, like who's
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: really who they say they are. And so I just,
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: I've always really enjoyed your perspective on a lot of things.
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: And I think something I'm curious about, especially when I
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: get a chance to have a man in front of
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: me that's done a lot of work on themselves and
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: helps people with the work, something I realized in the
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: work that I do is And I work with a
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: lot of guys one-on-one.
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: But.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: Our differences as men and women are important to denote.
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: Like it's just important to know that we are fundamentally different.
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: And I'm going to say something and like, ladies, give
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: me space. But I think it's really eye-opening for women
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: when we take a step back and stop trying to
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: hold emotional space for with men, for men in the
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: same way that we do for women. Like we are
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: wired differently. And I think that I'm so fascinated by
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: and interested in like, what do you consider to be
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: like the anchor of the emotional lives of men? And
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: what do women get wrong sometimes when they're looking to
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: support men and boys, especially with growth? And I wanna
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: give one more caveat. Like an example would be, you know,
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: And this is a conversation that I think happens a lot,
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: especially as a woman, I hear it with women. It's
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: kind of like, oh, you know, like I want him
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: to grow like this, but it's like, I want him
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: to grow like, like me is kind of what we're saying,
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: but our emotional worlds are different. We're wired to show
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: up differently. And so as women and men are having
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: these conversations about growth and how.
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: Do we grow together? How do we grow separately?
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: What are women missing about the interior lives of men
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: and boys?
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: Man, what a deep, deep question. Man, that is such
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: a thought-provoking question for me, too. Because though I may
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: have a strong opinion on this, I'm going to share
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: a perspective. But before I share this perspective to the women,
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: I share a stronger perspective with men. in our private
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: area when we're together right because as men we need
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: to be able to talk about things and feel safe
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: in our brotherhood right I can never talk to all
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: women we all know we're all different all men are
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: all different some will say nope you know I'm not
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: like that I have a brother that is completely in
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: tune with that of communicating completely different. And I got
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: a lot of my homies that don't know how to communicate.
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: So to your question, I don't have the answer to
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: all women. I'll put that disclaimer out there.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: What I find for myself is that it's hard to
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: show up as your girlfriend and remember I'm your friend
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: as a man. And I have two... completely different perspectives.
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: And a lot of times when we come together, I
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: think what's lost is that we forget that we were
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: not raised the same. That's the commonality for me, right?
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: It's like a lot of times I'm constantly going, okay,
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: how were you raised and how was I raised? Two,
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: how was your household? What was made understood to you here?
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: Why do you see something this way? Why do I
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: see something this way? And then Innately understanding that I'm
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: wired to provide and protect.
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: Right? I want to understand and hear my wife in
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: the ways that she wants me to. And she knows
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: I'm trying to work on that. But I also want
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: her to know that some things are just for your girlfriends.
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: Some things aren't for me. I want to be your
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: best friend and all that. Me and my wife are
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: super amazingly close. But I also can't do certain things
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: for my kids that you do. Right. There's this chapter
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: of where it's like we start to build resentment towards
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: our partners because there's roles. Yes, I can wake up
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: the boys every morning and do this. But the love
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: that you share is going to be completely different. And
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: then there will be a switch. And then there will
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: be a moment where dad comes in with a different
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: type of love. Yeah. And that's OK, because. The love
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: is the same, but it shows up different. And I
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: think that's what we got to understand. Yeah.
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: The translation is different.
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: In all areas. I use my kids as the anchor
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: of that because they're the most innocent ones in it. Yeah. Right.
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: Because they don't know any better.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: They're just mom and dad. And a lot of times
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: that confusion within relationship goes, I'm doing this. You're doing that. You're, Well,
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: there's roles at times. And I think if we understand
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: the chapter of life we're on together, it removes a
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: little bit of conflict because there's roles. Right now, I
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: may be, you know, providing a little bit more. You're
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: working a little. I don't know. Each individual situation is different. Yeah.
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: But I think as the role sometimes, because like all
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: my kids are now in school, the role is completely different, right?
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: Your boys are so cute.
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: Thank you.
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God, these little boys.
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: They are fun.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: Your Instagram, I mean, like, the way they are so strong.
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: My kids are so, and they're funny, and they're fun.
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: But they've created patience for me.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: Go, go, go. I do that. I want them to
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: learn everything that Dad has messed up on. I told
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: my son the other day, it's like, I want you
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: to be disappointed. I said, I don't want you to
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: be scared of me. I want you to respect me.
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: And he said, what is respect? And I said, I
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: want you to be disappointed in me the same way
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: dad can be disappointed in you. Because there's a standard.
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: That's a dad thing. When we start to understand that
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: they're just different things that men and women just show
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: up as. Yeah. My son, it was him that created
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: that moment of like, man, I want him to understand respect.
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: Respect women. We come into things differently. As long as
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: there's patience and understanding. And my biggest thing is like,
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: I can't be all things.
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: I can't be all things. That's my biggest thing. I
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: can't be all things. I try. And I have every
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: ounce in me that wants to be all things, but
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: I can't. And as long as there's grace on both sides,
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: because you can't be all things.
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: I cannot.
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: I cannot.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: And as long.
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: As there's grace on all sides, and that's what me
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: and Dom have been able to do really well. Yeah.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: God, that is the, that is the word, right?
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: Like grace, like real grace for one another, most especially
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: for the things we just naturally can never fully understand.
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: About each other.
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: It's like, I feel like the last few years, like there,
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: especially like, you know, with the Jess, there's millions of podcasts,
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: like there's so many voices and talking and, you know,
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: it's just so, so many arguments about men and women
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: and what is it?
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: It's communication.
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: It's this, it's that, And it's really like, to me,
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: as long as it's not something abusive or toxic, it's
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: having space for difference. It's really, let me stop trying
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: to think that you emotionally have to replicate me emotionally.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: But getting connected and seeing kind of purely the way
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: you are meant to show up and just getting to
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: the best of whatever that is.
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: I'll pay a compliment to you as a therapist.
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: And I'm not a therapist, but yes, thank you.
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: I'm not a traditional, I don't believe in therapy. And
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: women were like, all men need to go to therapy.
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: I think it doesn't have to show up as what
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: we call therapy.
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, at all.
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: Right? If we remove something wrong with.
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: You, you got problems.
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: Well, you need to go. If we remove all that shit.
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: And say, maybe you just should go talk to someone.
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: Is it the pastor? Is it the strong brother over
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: here that has navigated life a little bit differently than you?
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: Is it the strong woman that has more of a
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: peaceful approach? Yeah. We got to, like, not we got to,
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: but I would just love for us to just start saying,
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: just go have conversations.
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: Not therapy.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: We're beating this therapy thing.
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: Have some vulnerability.
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: And we need therapy. We need therapy. I think therapists
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: are needed and there's so much, but we've weaponized it.
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: To where it's like, ah.
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: That is so true.
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: Because to your point of all the podcasts, all you
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: hear is, and it's become a weapon and not a tool.
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: And that's what I want people to start to understand.
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: It's like, it's someone to talk to. It's someone to say, hey,
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: can I share my, was I right? Was I wrong?
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: Can you help me with this? Yeah. Can you, what's
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: the idea?
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: We're creating more language for othering each other and staying
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: separate and making it you.
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: That's what's wrong.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: With you that you need to fix. And it's like,
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: I think what you're saying is so true. It's like,
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: we need to find more ways to destigmatize vulnerability, openness,
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: you know, and ability And, and, you know, everyone has
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: their past and there's reasons why people are a sum
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: of who they are in that moment and don't have
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: that ability. But that's, that's where the nurturing, that's where
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: the potential for nurturing is. It's like, Everyone deserves safety.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: Everyone deserves the opportunity to be heard and understood and guided.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: So what's my compliment?
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: The compliment is that you're helping men. You say you're
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: speaking to a lot of men and you're sharing your
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: peace and your calmness and your approach to a better idea,
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: an outlook to what they may see as chaos. You're
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: helping them. bring more peace into what they don't even
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: understand because they can say to you, um, Hey, here's
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: what I'm not. Cause you've navigated and you've been through
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: things that you can say, I fixed myself. And also
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: now I'm talking to more men and there's this new
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: perspective and you get to travel the world and you
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: get to hear things from all different points of views.
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: And so then you're smart enough to gather that and
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: come to someone and give them wise advice. Right. And
• 30:50
  Speaker 3: I think that's important beyond someone that, Well, the therapy
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: and my therapist was like, we went to marriage counseling.
• 30:58
  Speaker 3: And she was like, you know, she said to them,
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: she goes, you do know he's from Texas. And then
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: you do know you married an H-type personality. Like, just
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: let's settle some of the disagreement right here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: That's a real thing.
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: Some of the misunderstanding is just like, oh, okay, this
• 31:20
  Speaker 3: is this and that. Hey, or is this person struggling
• 31:24
  Speaker 3: from childhood trauma? Is this person struggling from the job? Right.
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: What are all these things? Then we just come and
• 31:35
  Speaker 3: we create a safe place. Yeah. Then we create opportunity
• 31:38
  Speaker 3: for us to have even conversation. It'll never be that,
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: but it creates a place where people don't feel judged.
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: And there's judgment in all things. I want to be judged.
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: I want to be held accountable. I want to. But
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: like when someone's coming to you through vulnerability or saying,
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: I just want to talk to you because sometimes we
• 31:57
  Speaker 3: don't want to use the word vulnerability. Yeah.
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: That's also something like, oh, I want you to be vulnerable.
• 32:02
  Speaker 3: Like men don't show up with the word vulnerable.
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: That's fair.
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: We don't want that to be an outwardly thing. We
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: want to show up because men have to assess at
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: all times. Most men are assessing protection provides. How do
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: we go here? What's the, you know, am I raising
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: my boys the right way? Am I being, there's so much.
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: So being vulnerable sometime is not the right word to me.
• 32:30
  Speaker 3: I don't know the right word. Yeah.
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: God, that's interesting.
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: And I love, I love that thought. Like I love, um,
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: what I'm, some of what I'm hearing and like getting
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: from this too. And like a lot of, I, I'm,
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: I am deeply curious about the interior worlds of men.
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: Mostly because I'm.
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: A boy mom. I have a son. He's eight.
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: I'm a single mom. And being with him, it's made
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: me so patient for men. And it's given me such
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: a curiosity about how is he uniquely wired and how
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: can I make sure I'm not accidentally putting out that
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: fire of who he is. I look at that all
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: the time when it comes to my son. I don't
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: want to possibly injure his ability to connect with women
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: in his future based on a relationship he has with me,
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: or I don't want to accidentally extinguish some of the
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: necessary aggressive fire he has inside of him based on
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: my own comfortability. So it's fascinating. I'm being stretched in
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: so many ways as a human being and a woman,
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: but it's also given me like a lot of respect
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: for men in a way that I didn't know we
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: don't really get, that I needed and wanted to have,
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: like to watch the crafting of a man become himself.
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: It's so sacred for me.
• 34:04
  Speaker 3: I'm smiling because very few people have said this and
• 34:11
  Speaker 3: think like this. I think like this. Each kid is different.
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: And number one, the exposure to you as a single mom,
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: and I don't want to speak about stuff I don't know,
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: but the exposure is now understanding of what you didn't
• 34:30
  Speaker 3: know before. So your previous relationships, your previous, like, Okay,
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: where did I get wrong? Or where was this situation misinterpreted?
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: Or why didn't I understand this? I look at my
• 34:42
  Speaker 3: three boys. And I'm constantly like, I don't want to
• 34:48
  Speaker 3: take their fire away. That's what I just said a
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: second ago. Let mom play her role in loving. Let
• 34:55
  Speaker 3: dad play his role in the disciplinary. And mom is
• 34:59
  Speaker 3: a lot more strict than me, by the way.
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: That's how it always is, by the way. I'm like,
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: why am I doing this much discipline?
• 35:07
  Speaker 3: But there's a level of fear, and that's what I said,
• 35:10
  Speaker 3: respect that I want my son to have for me.
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: But a lot of times what we do is what
• 35:16
  Speaker 3: you're saying. It's an early age thing where we take
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: their curiosity away. We take their ambition away to be
• 35:24
  Speaker 3: a leader. We take it away because I get to
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: sit with men and they go and say, well, I
• 35:29
  Speaker 3: was told to be quiet. I was told to never
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: talk to a woman or not these different things when
• 35:36
  Speaker 3: you get to sit with a man and you say, well,
• 35:38
  Speaker 3: why did my mom and dad tell me this? So
• 35:40
  Speaker 3: then you grow up and then you're dealing with, they're
• 35:43
  Speaker 3: dealing with what now they have to navigate to be
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: their new man or who they decide they have to be.
• 35:49
  Speaker 3: So the fact that you're in tune with that today
• 35:51
  Speaker 3: by trying to guide him in the way that his
• 35:54
  Speaker 3: personality is, Opens up to be the best version of
• 35:58
  Speaker 3: who he can be and saying, no, this is who
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: you've been since a kid. Yeah. So my mom used
• 36:03
  Speaker 3: to say when she would send us to school, she
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: would always say when teacher call and I'd be like,
• 36:09
  Speaker 3: they did this. And she'd be like, no, no, my kid.
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: And she'll, she'll say, or they did. You did do this.
• 36:15
  Speaker 3: Cause I know you.
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 36:17
  Speaker 3: Because I'm not just a lot of times people just
• 36:20
  Speaker 3: send their kids to school. My mom had nine kids.
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: My God, by the way.
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: Good Lord.
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: Six boys, three girls. But what you just said was
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: if someone calls you and tells you something about your son,
• 36:36
  Speaker 3: you're going to either say, yeah, I've seen that. Or
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: you're going to be like, no.
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that ain't my boy.
• 36:42
  Speaker 3: That ain't my boy.
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 36:43
  Speaker 3: Or something. What's going on? Maybe you misinterpreted because you're.
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: In tune with.
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: What you just talked about. You're not just reactive. You're
• 36:53
  Speaker 3: actually dialed into like, Oh, I've seen these curiosity or
• 36:58
  Speaker 3: leadership or aggressive or whatever. Those things start to show
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: up as you're very in tune. So as you're talking
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: about this now, as he becomes an adult, as you date, right,
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: you start to go, Oh, okay. I'm attracted to this
• 37:17
  Speaker 3: or I'm not. I hone in on this as a guy.
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: As I want to date someone or does he fit
• 37:24
  Speaker 3: the mold of my son as someone that he's becoming this?
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: So those are a lot of factors that you got
• 37:30
  Speaker 3: to play into. Right. But if those are the roles,
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: so I don't want to go too far, but as
• 37:36
  Speaker 3: I think about what you talk about is raising young men,
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: those are the responsibilities that we have to think about.
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
• 37:45
  Speaker 3: Because then we have the reverse effect if we don't
• 37:49
  Speaker 3: of what we're seeing in where there's so much misunderstanding,
• 37:53
  Speaker 3: there can't be communication. Like, I used to be a
• 37:56
  Speaker 3: hard ass.
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: Hmm.
• 37:59
  Speaker 3: And I still, some will say I'm still a hard ass. But,
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: so much shaping of me, of like, I never blamed anyone.
• 38:07
  Speaker 3: I don't blame anyone for my success. I give credit
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: to people that have helped me become successful. But I
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: don't blame anyone for my failure. Yeah. Or my shortcomings.
• 38:17
  Speaker 3: I don't like, oh man, it's because this happened and this,
• 38:20
  Speaker 3: it's like, No. Yeah. I'm a big boy.
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: I'm going to play the cards I'm dealt.
• 38:25
  Speaker 3: Because that's all we got. Yeah. Yeah. At the end
• 38:29
  Speaker 3: of the day, nobody actually cares. They're going to walk
• 38:31
  Speaker 3: away from me and say, he did that or she
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: did this. No one's ever going to sit and be like, man,
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: it's where he come from. Yeah. Let's keep giving them
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: a pass. You're just going to keep getting uninvited.
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: And you're not going to get, yeah, the feedback to
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: change course. You're not going to get, it's so like
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: playing the cards you're dealt is so holy.
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: It's so powerful. It's so special.
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: And I think so many people spend too much time saying, no,
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: I want a different hand. How do I just find
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: different cards? How do I get their cards? And it's like,
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: you got to strategize in this life, spiritually, emotionally. physically
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: mentally you know with all of it I.
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: Love seeing other people win because it gives me hope
• 39:23
  Speaker 3: even when I didn't have it yeah like one of
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: the biggest testaments was like I tell people all the
• 39:27
  Speaker 3: time it's like I love seeing people win it is
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: the most this shit fires me up to see somebody
• 39:34
  Speaker 3: it's in my gut I tell people you can tell
• 39:37
  Speaker 3: if it's not in someone's gut because it's a over
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: time it's a indirect reflection of their outcome when you're
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: genuinely excited for people to win it's gonna come back.
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: To you man.
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: It's going to come back to you. But if you
• 39:54
  Speaker 3: go into bed at night and you've got the forward facing,
• 39:57
  Speaker 3: I'm happy for you. But then you're going back, why
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: he do that? Why she get the wind?
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 40:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah. My nephew told me when I was 18, I
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: was watching an MTV music video. He said, turn it off.
• 40:10
  Speaker 3: He's like, why? I said, man, they got everything I wanted.
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: And he said, Uncle Boss, God said, don't be jealous
• 40:14
  Speaker 3: of anyone. If it's for you, it'll be for you.
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: I was in college. I changed the way I, Wow.
• 40:22
  Speaker 3: Looked at my whole life. For the last 22 years,
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: 24 years, I've never looked at someone and said, man,
• 40:30
  Speaker 3: that's for me. I wish I had that. Never. I
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: removed that at 18, 19 years old. No exaggeration. My
• 40:38
  Speaker 3: nephew had to be 10, maybe 9. He was like,
• 40:43
  Speaker 3: God said don't be jealous of anyone.
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: You know what's so powerful about what you just said?
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: A few things, but.
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: that's how fast you can actually change your life. Like
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: that's how fast you can actually transform. Like if something
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: comes at you like that, that's that shifting, you can
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: say yes to it and do it in real time.
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: I think people think so much more is required.
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: To change their lives. And like you changed.
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: Your entire trajectory in that second because you heard what
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: was said and applied it.
• 41:15
  Speaker 3: It was this guy that was starting in front of
• 41:17
  Speaker 3: me and, uh, I was better than him but I
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: also personality I was I was on edge with coaches
• 41:28
  Speaker 3: it just didn't I didn't put myself in the best
• 41:30
  Speaker 3: position to be liked right by the coaches had the
• 41:34
  Speaker 3: ability but I was wilding out being a and my
• 41:39
  Speaker 3: nephew said that to me I couldn't cheer for him
• 41:42
  Speaker 3: couldn't cheer for Jared then when I heard that I'm
• 41:44
  Speaker 3: like man cheer for Jared who cares It's going to
• 41:49
  Speaker 3: be what it's going to be. I started cheering for Jared.
• 41:53
  Speaker 3: Time started to change. Jared started to shake hands. Jared
• 41:56
  Speaker 3: was like, bro, you know you're better than me. The coach,
• 42:00
  Speaker 3: you're fighting your own uphill battle. I don't want to
• 42:04
  Speaker 3: say certain things right now. It was a real conversation
• 42:06
  Speaker 3: I was having. But it was like, man. Because then
• 42:10
  Speaker 3: you start to see how it comes back. When you
• 42:14
  Speaker 3: just start being genuinely happy for people. It happens almost
• 42:18
  Speaker 3: immediately because also people can feel the authenticity.
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 42:22
  Speaker 3: And that's how I show up. I show up authentic.
• 42:24
  Speaker 3: I show up me, unapologetically me, even when I'm mad.
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: And I can be as happy as I need to
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: be for you. But being supportive doesn't mean not having criticism.
• 42:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 42:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 42:39
  Speaker 3: So don't ever get it confused. You can still hold
• 42:41
  Speaker 3: people accountable, still have criticism, still have a standard. while
• 42:46
  Speaker 3: still being excited for the trajectory.
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm so curious, like I recently, when we
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: were in Cannes, you did this talk that I really
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: loved on discipline. Like you spoke like really in the
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: fibers of it in a way that I hadn't heard before.
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: I want, I want to hear.
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: The way you experience discipline. And I'm so curious, like,
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: as someone that has worked with so many different kinds
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: of people, like I see you in the entertainment space,
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: I see you in the financial and corporate spaces, you know,
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: and now in the investment spaces and world, it's like,
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: what is actually necessary that you've observed for like long-term
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: transformation in a person?
• 43:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Discipline is the root of all things success. And
• 43:51
  Speaker 3: success is not monetary. It's self-fulfillment. And I talk to
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: people about discipline is life rewards, right? Like when you're disciplined,
• 44:01
  Speaker 3: the world will reward you because you're a walking billboard
• 44:05
  Speaker 3: of someone that says what they're, does what they say
• 44:07
  Speaker 3: they're going to do. And to me, the only thing
• 44:12
  Speaker 3: you have when you have nothing is discipline.
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 44:18
  Speaker 3: The only thing you have when you have nothing is discipline, right?
• 44:22
  Speaker 3: And I use fitness as my playing field, right? I
• 44:27
  Speaker 3: wanted to be in the NFL. I thought that was
• 44:28
  Speaker 3: going to be my platform to be this guy. NBA
• 44:31
  Speaker 3: players use it. Football players use it. I say, no,
• 44:34
  Speaker 3: fitness can be my vertical. It'll be my thing. And
• 44:37
  Speaker 3: I'll use discipline as an entry point. Broke. But I
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: showed up every day. No excuses. Slept in my car.
• 44:43
  Speaker 3: Showed up every day. Because no one actually cares. Yeah. Oh, man,
• 44:47
  Speaker 3: you slept in your car? All right, listen. I came
• 44:49
  Speaker 3: with you. No one... Because everybody got their own shit.
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 44:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah. So I learned that as I walked through rooms
• 44:58
  Speaker 3: and understanding, discipline is the most attractive thing about you.
• 45:05
  Speaker 3: And it will open up doors you never saw. And
• 45:08
  Speaker 3: then that discipline, when you have discipline, it rolls over.
• 45:12
  Speaker 3: So you know how to go study venture capital. You
• 45:15
  Speaker 3: know how to go sit in the investment world. Because
• 45:18
  Speaker 3: you're not afraid of the application to what you don't know.
• 45:24
  Speaker 3: And discipline has taught me and I've learned that you
• 45:29
  Speaker 3: can see it right away. I talked about it earlier.
• 45:32
  Speaker 3: The person that's looking for discipline says it right away.
• 45:34
  Speaker 3: I'm ready to start. They're not waiting for two weeks.
• 45:37
  Speaker 3: They're not waiting a month. They're not waiting for an excuse.
• 45:40
  Speaker 3: They're saying, I'm ready now. Because motivation, as we, famous
• 45:44
  Speaker 3: Zig Ziglar. I used to listen to Zig Ziglar when
• 45:47
  Speaker 3: I was, I had to be 17 years old, 16, 17.
• 45:50
  Speaker 3: And he always says, motivation is like bathing. We need
• 45:53
  Speaker 3: it every day. And some people don't bathe. But discipline is,
• 45:58
  Speaker 3: seriously though. Yeah. But discipline is the innate. And I
• 46:03
  Speaker 3: learned it. And I build compound effect. I'm a compound
• 46:06
  Speaker 3: interest guy. Right? You're on the curve of success or
• 46:09
  Speaker 3: the curve of failure. They're just as gradual based on
• 46:13
  Speaker 3: your daily disciplines. Wow. The curve of success and the
• 46:17
  Speaker 3: curve of failure are, you don't know, how many times
• 46:21
  Speaker 3: have you met a person and you're like, they're doing
• 46:23
  Speaker 3: so good. And you look like they're enjoying their life
• 46:26
  Speaker 3: and they are. They're enjoying too much. Who am I
• 46:30
  Speaker 3: to say, but Using the example, because I know, curve
• 46:33
  Speaker 3: of failure. But the curve of success is routine, daily conversation.
• 46:41
  Speaker 3: I want to enjoy this life that God has given us.
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 46:45
  Speaker 3: I want to travel the world. I want to experience.
• 46:47
  Speaker 3: I want to go do all things. But it will
• 46:52
  Speaker 3: be grounded in discipline. And that discipline has transformed my
• 46:55
  Speaker 3: lives and a lot of people's lives around me.
• 46:57
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 46:58
  Speaker 3: And it has opened up more doors. I got more
• 47:00
  Speaker 3: team members than I can think of. I've had things
• 47:03
  Speaker 3: in Saudi Arabia. I got things in Saudi Arabia. I'm
• 47:06
  Speaker 3: building things in Dubai. I got things now in Beverly Hills.
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: I got things in Atlanta. Like New York. Like that's discipline.
• 47:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 47:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah. And then people that don't want that, it's too
• 47:20
  Speaker 3: much pressure. Mm-hmm. So they excavate themselves. You don't even
• 47:24
  Speaker 3: got to. Mm-hmm. But discipline is the anchor of it all.
• 47:30
  Speaker 3: I go on vacation. Dom knows. He's going to work
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: out every day. And people think, oh, because he's a trainer,
• 47:38
  Speaker 3: he works out. No, no, no, no. This is innately
• 47:41
  Speaker 3: about having something that is routine and never missing it.
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: Has nothing to do with me training people. Nothing to do.
• 47:52
  Speaker 3: That is the least of my worries. It has everything
• 47:54
  Speaker 3: to do with me. Because I'm responsible of this self.
• 48:00
  Speaker 3: And that discipline is how I speak and who I
• 48:04
  Speaker 3: show up to be. So now when I'm speaking and talking,
• 48:07
  Speaker 3: I'm speaking from a place of conviction and honesty and
• 48:11
  Speaker 3: a man that stands on his word no matter where
• 48:13
  Speaker 3: I'm at in the world. I was doing this stuff
• 48:15
  Speaker 3: in Cannes. Every morning, we'll get home at 2 in
• 48:18
  Speaker 3: the morning, 2.30. Told the team that I had the
• 48:21
  Speaker 3: driver pick me up every morning at 5 o'clock. Workout
• 48:25
  Speaker 3: started at 7. Every morning I said, pick me up
• 48:28
  Speaker 3: at 5. It was a 30-minute drive down. I stretched.
• 48:31
  Speaker 3: I ran. I came back. I said, I'll lead by
• 48:34
  Speaker 3: example because I knew I had no time to work
• 48:37
  Speaker 3: out after I coached them. So I wanted to be
• 48:39
  Speaker 3: a leader of what I said because I was going
• 48:41
  Speaker 3: to be speaking. I wouldn't be any more time in
• 48:44
  Speaker 3: the day. Yeah. I'm like, okay, we sacrifice a little sleep.
• 48:49
  Speaker 3: That's called discipline. And then when you see people that
• 48:52
  Speaker 3: are disciplined, you align with them.
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 48:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Colby said, wake up at 3.30, be in the
• 48:58
  Speaker 3: gym at 4. Love it. I used to wake up
• 49:00
  Speaker 3: at 4, be in the gym at 5. 4.30.
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: Nope.
• 49:06
  Speaker 3: People are like, oh my God, no. I'm very like that.
• 49:10
  Speaker 3: I'm turned on by that. Challenges. Discipline.
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 49:15
  Speaker 3: Because I wanted to be the best boss. And I
• 49:20
  Speaker 3: want my kids to look back. I was telling Aaron
• 49:23
  Speaker 3: Donald the other day, it's like, my kids will never
• 49:25
  Speaker 3: get to see dad play a sport. That was something
• 49:29
  Speaker 3: I always wanted. Dad, dad, dad. But my kids now
• 49:33
  Speaker 3: have the ability to see dad do a lot of
• 49:35
  Speaker 3: different things. Yeah, I'm not on a field, but I
• 49:38
  Speaker 3: am in a field of play. Mm-hmm. My field of
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: play is just different. I'm in corporate offices. I'm leading
• 49:44
  Speaker 3: on strategy. I'm pushing culture. I'm leading health and wellness.
• 49:51
  Speaker 3: My field of play is different, but I'm still in
• 49:52
  Speaker 3: the game. Just playing a different one. And I want
• 49:56
  Speaker 3: my kids to be able to say, here's the game,
• 50:00
  Speaker 3: but here's another strategy. And my dad can be a
• 50:03
  Speaker 3: true testament of that. But I want to pave the way.
• 50:05
  Speaker 3: Their life should be easier than mine. Yeah. Yeah.
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah. The way you kicked it off, I think, is
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: so powerful to hear. If you have nothing, you have discipline.
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: If you have nothing else, that's what you do have.
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: And incrementally, it changes everything.
• 50:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah. How many fit guys you know that look like
• 50:38
  Speaker 3: something because they applied gym discipline. Yeah. Now they can apply,
• 50:44
  Speaker 3: not going out and studies. We're living in a world
• 50:47
  Speaker 3: where you can go make as much. Yeah.
• 50:50
  Speaker 2: And that's the thing too.
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: It's like, I think, and that's a powerful shift when
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: people realize once they kind of really assert themselves in
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: that way, it's like mastery is applicable to so many things.
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: Discipline is applicable to, You just have to learn the
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: mechanism inside yourself. You just have to learn how it
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: switches on and how to keep it fed. And then
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: you can apply it to any and everything in your life.
• 51:19
  Speaker 3: Absolutely. Yeah.
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: Okay, I want to switch before we get out of here.
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: I want to switch the lens of perspective a little bit.
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: What is your favorite thing about your family?
• 51:32
  Speaker 3: The favorite thing about my family today is is the
• 51:36
  Speaker 3: love that we share, but the unknown. I think my
• 51:44
  Speaker 3: boys are like, if you're talking about my immediate today family,
• 51:51
  Speaker 3: the unknown. The excitement that they wake up with, they
• 51:55
  Speaker 3: have no worries. My kids wake up with a smile
• 51:57
  Speaker 3: every day. We're so blessed, my wife, we're so blessed
• 52:02
  Speaker 3: beyond measure, but the love that is in our house,
• 52:07
  Speaker 3: is amazing. And the discipline. We don't, you know, I
• 52:11
  Speaker 3: love that we're disciplined. I love that there's a standard
• 52:15
  Speaker 3: at Everline House. I love it. My kids know. They
• 52:20
  Speaker 3: asked the other day, it's like, Dad's going to eat pizza.
• 52:22
  Speaker 3: And my mom said, you know Dad's healthy. He's not
• 52:24
  Speaker 3: going to eat pizza. It hurt my feelings a little bit.
• 52:27
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I need to go eat pizza with my kids.
• 52:29
  Speaker 3: But it's like, that's what I love. I love that
• 52:33
  Speaker 3: They're seeing things amongst their mom. Mom going to the gym.
• 52:37
  Speaker 3: Dad going up. They're like, what meeting are you going to?
• 52:40
  Speaker 3: They're asking questions. We're supporting each other. I'm going to
• 52:43
  Speaker 3: their baseball. I'm making time. I love just what we're
• 52:47
  Speaker 3: building because it's a learn as you go. And I
• 52:51
  Speaker 3: love that. And I love that their personalities are changing
• 52:55
  Speaker 3: and we have to adjust. And it's just this really,
• 52:58
  Speaker 3: really fun thing for me because I am a man.
• 53:02
  Speaker 3: And I'm not always in tune. So it's the unknown.
• 53:06
  Speaker 2: I love that answer.
• 53:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: And these ages, they're just like such sweet ages.
• 53:12
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God. I'm just picking some clothes. All they
• 53:18
  Speaker 3: want to do is play.
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 53:19
  Speaker 3: And they just love it. And it's all smiles. They
• 53:21
  Speaker 3: wake up. They're waking up in the bed, smiling, just
• 53:24
  Speaker 3: happy to be woken up because they're ready. It's like,
• 53:27
  Speaker 3: I think you want to wake up and play.
• 53:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh, my God.
• 53:31
  Speaker 3: How beautiful is that?
• 53:32
  Speaker 2: It's like the absolute best.
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: It's the best thing about my life.
• 53:36
  Speaker 3: How is it for your son? Like now that he's eight.
• 53:40
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God.
• 53:40
  Speaker 3: Personality change.
• 53:43
  Speaker 2: It's changing so fast.
• 53:45
  Speaker 3: It goes so fast.
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: God, it's like, you know, there's this saying that I've
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: heard and I'm just like, my God, it's so real.
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: It's the days are long, the years are short. And
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: like even this week I had to print out like
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: 20 photos for him to take to school for a project.
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: And going through eight years of his life, it was
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: just like, oh.
• 54:06
  Speaker 2: My God.
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: But I really agree with what you said. I love
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: that language for it, too, like the unknown. I love
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: right now that I.
• 54:15
  Speaker 2: Don't know what he is. I don't know what he's becoming.
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: I don't know at all what is coming for us.
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: And that does feel exciting. And every choice you make
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: with them unlocks something. another possibility or another facet of
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: their personality. And like, so yeah, that's, it's just, it's,
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: he's hilarious.
• 54:35
  Speaker 2: He's so funny.
• 54:37
  Speaker 1: He's huge. He's huge. He's higher than my shoulder now.
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: He is eight years old. It's, His shoe size is
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: bigger than mine. And I don't have little feet. I
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: wear a nine in women. Like his shoe size is
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: bigger than mine.
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: But it's just the joy.
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: It's the greatest joy and honor of my life. Just
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: the absolute greatest.
• 55:00
  Speaker 3: You just said it too. It's like that unknown unlocks
• 55:04
  Speaker 3: what we don't know.
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 55:05
  Speaker 3: Because they may see themselves differently. You may see them
• 55:10
  Speaker 3: in a different light, which is so like fun. yes
• 55:16
  Speaker 3: that was like that was a new discovery or yeah
• 55:19
  Speaker 3: so it's like oh you like that type of friend
• 55:22
  Speaker 3: you're starting like you're starting to see who his friends
• 55:24
  Speaker 3: like right what his type of friends.
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: Are yeah yeah all right yeah it's so fun and
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: i'm like a creeper too like you're gonna see me
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: at school drop off kind of behind a tree watching
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: him and just like observing and being like, oh, okay.
• 55:43
  Speaker 2: Oh, and then, okay.
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: Like I want to know that's the word too. I
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: want to like, I want to know his soul. Like
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: I want to deeply know him. And then I think
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: for some of us as, as parents, we really realize
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: like that's such a sacred act. That's such a privilege
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: to like know deeply that, this special life you've been
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: entrusted with.
• 56:09
  Speaker 2: I'm going to cry.
• 56:10
  Speaker 3: I'll share something with you. My dad is here to
• 56:16
  Speaker 3: spend time with the kids, which is another story in itself.
• 56:19
  Speaker 3: I'll tell this story. My brother came and he hadn't
• 56:22
  Speaker 3: flown in, one of my brothers hasn't flown in 20 years.
• 56:26
  Speaker 3: And we were talking and we've been having like these really,
• 56:30
  Speaker 3: really open conversations and I won't go into detail. But
• 56:34
  Speaker 3: what you just said sparked a thought. It's like, we
• 56:37
  Speaker 3: have to realize that these young kids will become adults.
• 56:41
  Speaker 3: And when they become adults, they look back at who
• 56:43
  Speaker 3: their parents were. And if we aren't in tune with
• 56:47
  Speaker 3: them and understand, then all the things that were misunderstood
• 56:53
  Speaker 3: or not, they're going to see our flaws because they're
• 56:57
  Speaker 3: going to become young adults. So we have to be
• 56:59
  Speaker 3: intentional now because as we look.
• 57:02
  Speaker 2: Back, It's so real.
• 57:05
  Speaker 3: And these kids are going to, because I was asking
• 57:07
  Speaker 3: my dad questions, like, why did he do this? Why
• 57:10
  Speaker 3: did you do this? Yeah. And he's like, boy, you
• 57:12
  Speaker 3: remember all that?
• 57:15
  Speaker 2: Of course I do.
• 57:16
  Speaker 3: That intentionality by watching and paying attention and being in tune. And,
• 57:21
  Speaker 3: you know, dads are different than moms. But it was
• 57:25
  Speaker 3: important to me to have that feeling of, like, to
• 57:29
  Speaker 3: be reminded that we did, but we've become adults.
• 57:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And so are your sons and my sons.
• 57:36
  Speaker 3: And when they decide to look back at who their
• 57:38
  Speaker 3: parents are, what are they going to say? Yeah.
• 57:42
  Speaker 2: That question is so interesting.
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: And I think that this is kind of like the
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: fibers of our energy and how we approach our kids.
• 57:49
  Speaker 1: It's like, you have to really look at like childhood development. Like, like,
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: you know, in that question, all parents would ask it like,
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: you remember all of that? And it's like, you are
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: your child's whole world. What else would they remember? What
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: else would they think about? All our children think about
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: is us. That's all they think about.
• 58:13
  Speaker 3: But what happens is we're so caught up and what
• 58:17
  Speaker 3: we have to remember is that we've been blessed, right? Extremely.
• 58:22
  Speaker 3: How are we going to pay the bills? Mom and
• 58:25
  Speaker 3: dad arguing. It's just mom. Or it's just dad. Or
• 58:30
  Speaker 3: lights got turned off or all these things where it's
• 58:33
  Speaker 3: hard for you, like you forget what's important. And that's
• 58:39
  Speaker 3: the reminder, I think, where we have like overcome, but
• 58:46
  Speaker 3: the reality of what they were at that time, I'm
• 58:48
  Speaker 3: also not judging them on what they were trying to
• 58:51
  Speaker 3: do too.
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.
• 58:52
  Speaker 2: It was so different. It was so different.
• 58:54
  Speaker 3: And they didn't have the resources and there was a
• 58:56
  Speaker 3: lot more like, Hey man, we got to go to
• 58:58
  Speaker 3: this job in Colorado or we, It was so different.
• 59:00
  Speaker 3: So it was like, there was no judgment. It was
• 59:02
  Speaker 3: more understanding. But today, I want my kids to be
• 59:07
  Speaker 3: in tuned enough with themselves to be true. truly locked
• 59:10
  Speaker 3: into who we are as number one, who you are,
• 59:14
  Speaker 3: but then to who your fabric of your family is.
• 59:17
  Speaker 3: And it's why my dad's here. So when there's a question,
• 59:20
  Speaker 3: you've seen it, you know it. And there's no like,
• 59:24
  Speaker 3: who's grandpa?
• 59:25
  Speaker 2: Where's grandpa?
• 59:26
  Speaker 3: Why am I like this? Because it can skip. And
• 59:29
  Speaker 3: I can say, you got more traits like your uncle.
• 59:32
  Speaker 3: You're more like your aunt or your grandpa. And so
• 59:37
  Speaker 3: I want them to be in tune enough to say,
• 59:41
  Speaker 3: because one of my sons is more like my dad.
• 59:45
  Speaker 3: You know, very, okay, you know, laughable, fun, just joking
• 59:51
  Speaker 3: all the time and doesn't take anything serious ever. And
• 59:54
  Speaker 3: so I'm kind of goofy like that. But then I've
• 59:58
  Speaker 3: taken on more of a serious approach. But if you
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 3: hang out with me long enough, all I'm doing is joking.
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 3: But I want my son to know where that came from.
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 3: And not be hidden behind a wall because there's so
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 3: much other hidden stuff because we're angry about something that
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 3: someone else had to navigate through that we don't even
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 3: know full clarity on. We don't have full clarity, right?
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 3: So as much as we can give our kids enough
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 3: full clarity on their parents without exposing them to too
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 3: much of what they don't know, we give them an
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 3: opportunity to be great adults and better kids to us.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 2: No, thank you.
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: I think my very last question for you would be,
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: and then you have to give our audience some soul work.
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 2: What does joy feel like to you?
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 3: Joy feels like my family. It all goes back to family.
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 3: It's like I ask myself all the time, what would
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 3: I be doing right now? If it wasn't joy, it's
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 3: like spending time with my kids and my brothers and
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 3: sisters and my wife and my family. Joy is like
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 3: seeing my team, like seeing people win. It's pure joy,
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 3: like genuinely joy. The biggest excitement is watching someone win
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 3: and being able to exist in that.
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, be present.
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 3: That's my joy.
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 3: Family. And family, extended family, you know, they become family.
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 3: And I want to see people win. I want to
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 3: enjoy the moments. I don't want to celebrate too often,
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 3: going back to the earlier point. Like, that's just not
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 3: who I am. Everybody knows that. I told my family
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 3: I wanted to take a two-week vacation off. I'm planning
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 3: my mind this year now for 2027. I said 17 days,
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 3: but look at me cutting it down already. I was like, yeah,
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 3: I think I want to take a 17-day vacation. I'm like,
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 3: you would never because I'm always.
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 2: In this mode. Are you going to do it? Let's see.
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 3: I'm building towards it every day. 2027, I think I'm
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 3: going to take some real time and just enjoy.
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 2: Well, then, okay.
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: Then I'm going to be asking you about that when
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: I see you and I'm going to be checking in
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 1: on that.
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 3: Make sure I get there. Yeah. Take some real time
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 3: and enjoy.
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 2: I want to ask for you.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: So at the end of every episode, I like to
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 1: have our guests share soul work. So this can be
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: anything from a thought to a journal prompt, to an exercise,
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: to a practice, but it's a way to embody everything
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: we talked about. So it's something that they can take
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: with them and do and apply an activity, a piece
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 1: of homework to sit with after this episode.
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 3: Man, it's really, this, this is like, I'm closing my
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 3: eyes too, because I, I feel like what I'm going
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 3: to say you've heard, and it's very simple. And I've
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 3: said it a lot today is discipline, but how do
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 3: you get there? And, The way to get there is
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 3: make a decision and stick to it. Write it on
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 3: a piece of paper. You know, someone says they're not
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 3: a runner. Someone says they're not a reader. Someone says
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 3: they're not. Whatever. You know, I used to say I
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 3: wasn't a reader and read something that said read five
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 3: pages a day. And all of a sudden, you're a reader. Right.
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 3: You run a little bit. So write something down. Don't overcomplicate.
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 3: If you drink 10 sodas, say you're going to drink
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 3: five and write it down and stick to it and
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 3: build some internal discipline that no one has to see.
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 3: Don't make an announcement. Don't post about it. Don't go
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 3: telling your friends. Don't go telling anybody. Make an internal
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 3: commitment with yourself with the discipline that you want to see. Mm-hmm.
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 3: And watch how your life change and watch how that
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 3: discipline compounds into more. If you make a choice to
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 3: say the hardest thing or something simple that you can
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 3: cut out today. And I promise you, if you write
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 3: it down and you work on it every single day,
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 3: it gets easier. It gets easier. And then you find
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 3: your life becoming more fulfilling and you see yourself as
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 3: someone that is disciplined. And that in return is a reward.
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 3: That you'll start to say and be proud of. It's
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 3: like someone losing weight. It's like when people go vegan.
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 3: Everybody that goes vegan wants to tell you about it
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 3: because they believe it's discipline.
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 3: When you lose weight, you tell people, I lost 30,
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 3: 40 pounds. You want people to hear your discipline. No
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 3: one saw you on the journey. They just saw the aftermath.
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 3: I love to use wellness, fitness as a component of
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 3: a physical activity. attribute, uh, attribute, whatever word it is
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 3: to see yourself or for others to see the discipline
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 3: that you walk in.
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 3: Cause they may not see you not drink all the sodas,
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 3: but they can see the physical walking in that looks different.
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 3: If you meditate every day, whatever you need to do,
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 3: do it every single day and unwavering, get a little
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 3: less sleep, go to bed a little earlier, whatever you
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 3: got to do, write it on a paper. And I, 100%
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 3: would love to hear how that helps people even feel
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 3: more fulfilled within themselves.
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 2: That's good. That is good. You got your homework, everybody.
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 3: Ah.
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 2: Ron, thank you so much for joining us.
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 3: I'm thankful to be here. Thank you for creating a
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 3: platform for us to talk about deeply well and, um,
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 3: you know, trying to get insights to minds that have
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 3: overcome or are on their path to overcome, um, because
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 3: we're all on this journey, um, because you all overcome
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 3: something on the journey of something. So thank you so much.
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 3: I think your mind is brilliant. I've been able to
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 3: sit on panels with you and Um, I think what
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 3: you're doing is really, really amazing. I've been at your events,
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 3: your sound baths and your meditation events. And, um, I
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 3: think it's very, very unique and it's something that's needed.
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 3: So please keep it up and I'm excited to be
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 3: a guest and thank you for having me on.
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 2: Oh, thank you so much.
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 1: All things Ron linked below in the notes of this episode.
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 1: So connect with him, check out everything. and share this
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 1: episode with a friend. We'll be back next week.
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 2: Namaste.
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 1: The content presented on Deeply Well serves solely for educational
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 1: and informational purposes. It should not be considered a replacement
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 1: for personalized medical or mental health guidance and does not
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 1: constitute a provider-patient relationship. As always, it is advisable to
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 1: consult with your healthcare provider or health team for any
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 1: specific concerns or questions.
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 2: That you may have.
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 1: Connect with me on social, at Debbie Brown. That's Twitter
• 1:07:10
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• 1:07:14
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• 1:07:17
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• 1:07:21
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• 1:07:24
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• 1:07:29
  Speaker 1: Samantha Timmons, and me, Debbie Brown.
• 1:07:32
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• 1:07:34
  Speaker 1: That's by Gerilyn Glass from Crystal Cadence. For more podcasts
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