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Transcript

Cinderella · Stories for Robots

• 0:01
  Griffin: Welcome back to Stories for Robots.
• 0:04
  I'm Griffin Schwed, your host and storyteller.
• 0:07
  Join me as I share some of humanity's most timeless tales with two curious
• 0:11
  and silly robots who are trying to understand human culture by exploring
• 0:15
  fairy tales, folklore, and historical events from around the world.
• 0:20
  In season one, we're diving into stories you definitely know,
• 0:23
  or at least you think you do.
• 0:26
  We're going back to the original versions of classic tales made
• 0:29
  famous by animated movies.
• 0:31
  But these original stories are pretty different from the
• 0:34
  versions you grew up with.
• 0:36
  My two robot friends have no idea what's coming, and honestly,
• 0:40
  you probably don't either.
• 0:42
  Spark, Vector, how are you doing today?
• 0:45
  Vector: Beep, beep, beep, boop, beep.
• 0:47
  Griffin: Vector, what is that?
• 0:48
  Vector: I just told you about my day in robot language.
• 0:51
  I wish you could understand robot because I am hilarious.
• 0:54
  Griffin: Really?
• 0:55
  What did you say?
• 0:56
  Spark: He actually just called you a big smelly fart.
• 0:58
  Vector: Like I said, it was hilarious.
• 1:00
  Spark: It was pretty funny.
• 1:02
  Griffin: Spark, you're supposed to be the mature one.
• 1:04
  Spark: Yeah, I know.
• 1:04
  I'm sorry.
• 1:05
  It just seems like farts are an important part of human culture.
• 1:08
  Griffin: Farts are not part of human culture.
• 1:10
  Enough about farts.
• 1:12
  I'm here to tell the story of Cinderella.
• 1:14
  Can we start already?
• 1:15
  Spark: Yes.
• 1:17
  Griffin: Vector, do not play fart sounds.
• 1:20
  Vector: Sorry.
• 1:21
  Griffin: Vector!
• 1:22
  Okay, here we go.
• 1:24
  Everyone just focus.
• 1:26
  You're about to hear the story of Cinderella, the original
• 1:29
  tale about a lovable underdog.
• 1:31
  Vector: What is an underdog?
• 1:32
  Wait, I can guess.
• 1:34
  Logically, it is a human who gets smooshed under an enormous dog.
• 1:37
  Griffin: That's, uh, no, that's not it at all.
• 1:40
  It's a story where the hero is unlikely to succeed.
• 1:43
  And although this story wasn't always called Cinderella,
• 1:46
  it's been told thousands of times in cultures all around
• 1:49
  the world for over 2,000 years.
• 1:51
  But the version I'm gonna tell you is inspired mostly by Aschenputtel, which
• 1:56
  is just the German name for Cinderella.
• 1:58
  It was written in 1857 by two brothers, Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm, also known
• 2:04
  as the Brothers Grimm, who are pretty much the undisputed kings of
• 2:08
  writing weird and freaky fairy tales.
• 2:10
  Spark: Okay, let's get freaky.
• 2:12
  Vector: Yes, let's freak it up like freaky freaks.
• 2:15
  Spark: But not too freaky though.
• 2:16
  I don't like being scared.
• 2:18
  Griffin: Don't worry, Spark.
• 2:19
  I think you're gonna love it.
• 2:20
  Now let's see if the shoe fits with the story of Cinderella.
• 2:24
  Vector: Footwear pun detected.
• 2:27
  Griffin: Really?
• 2:27
  You had to play a cricket sound?
• 2:31
  Anyway, our story begins with a young mother who is very sick.
• 2:35
  As she's dying, she calls her daughter to her bedside and says, " My dear
• 2:39
  child, always be good and kind, and I will look down on you from heaven and
• 2:44
  watch over you." And then she dies.
• 2:47
  Spark: Okay, we're like five seconds into the story, and it's already very sad.
• 2:50
  Griffin: Yeah, but stay strong.
• 2:52
  I promise it's worth it.
• 2:55
  So the girl is heartbroken.
• 2:57
  Every day, she goes to her mother's grave and cries, but her heart is pure, and
• 3:02
  she remains good and kind to everyone she meets, just like she promised.
• 3:06
  Months go by, and her father, who is very rich, decides to remarry, and his
• 3:11
  new wife has two daughters of her own.
• 3:13
  Vector: Ah, her replacement mother and sisters have arrived.
• 3:17
  Spark: That's not how it works for humans.
• 3:18
  It's called a stepmother and stepsisters.
• 3:21
  Griffin: Exactly.
• 3:22
  Now, the two stepsisters are beautiful on the outside.
• 3:25
  Spark: Oh, oh, let me guess.
• 3:26
  But super-duper pretty on the inside.
• 3:29
  Griffin: Yeah, no, the opposite.
• 3:31
  They are really mean.
• 3:33
  Mostly because they're jealous of the girl's beauty.
• 3:36
  Not only is she poised and kind and intelligent, she's
• 3:39
  breathtakingly gorgeous.
• 3:41
  So the first thing they do is take away her nice clothes and dress her
• 3:45
  in an old gray smock and wooden shoes.
• 3:48
  Vector: Finally, some practical fashion.
• 3:51
  Griffin: Right.
• 3:52
  Plus, they make her do all the hard work in the house.
• 3:55
  She cooks, she cleans, she hauls heavy water buckets up from the well.
• 4:00
  She does everything and basically never stops working.
• 4:02
  Spark: Quick question.
• 4:04
  Griffin: Yeah?
• 4:04
  Spark: Where is her dad?
• 4:06
  Why isn't he stopping this?
• 4:07
  Griffin: Okay, great question, and one that the story completely ignores.
• 4:12
  The dad is just sort of around, doing nothing.
• 4:15
  Spark: That checks out.
• 4:16
  Vector: Typical.
• 4:17
  Griffin: Hey.
• 4:18
  Anyway, the stepsisters are so mean, they don't even let the girl have a bed.
• 4:23
  She has to sleep on the hard stone floor by the fireplace.
• 4:26
  And because of that, she's always covered in soot and ash, which is why the
• 4:30
  stepsisters give her a cruel nickname.
• 4:33
  Spark: Oh, oh, let me guess.
• 4:34
  Mr. Potato Head.
• 4:35
  No, Spanky.
• 4:36
  Wait.
• 4:37
  Oh, boy.
• 4:38
  That's why they call her Cinderella?
• 4:40
  Griffin: Mm-hmm.
• 4:42
  Spark: That is so rude.
• 4:43
  Vector: It is accurate and therefore a good name.
• 4:46
  Griffin: Well, the truth is Cinderella doesn't really mind.
• 4:49
  She kinda makes it her thing.
• 4:50
  She owns it.
• 4:51
  Spark: Total boss move.
• 4:53
  Griffin: Yep.
• 4:54
  And Cinderella is actually better than the first nickname they had
• 4:56
  for her, which was Cinderwench.
• 4:59
  Spark: Hmm, that has less of a ring to it.
• 5:01
  Griffin: Does not roll off the tongue.
• 5:03
  Anyway, one day, the useless father is going to a fair, and he asks the three
• 5:07
  girls what they'd like him to bring back.
• 5:10
  The greedy stepsisters chime in first.
• 5:12
  Without hesitation, the first one says, " Beautiful dresses." The
• 5:16
  second says, "Pearls and jewels."
• 5:18
  Cinderella pauses for a long moment, closing her eyes.
• 5:22
  Finally, she says, "Father, just break off the first twig that brushes
• 5:26
  against your hat on the way home.
• 5:28
  Spark: Oh, great.
• 5:29
  She lost her mind.
• 5:30
  Vector: A short story, but a nice story.
• 5:32
  Thanks for telling it.
• 5:33
  Griffin: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
• 5:35
  Just listen.
• 5:36
  Her father is totally confused, but he does what each girl asks.
• 5:41
  When he returns, he gives the stepsisters their treasure, and he hands Cinderella
• 5:45
  a little twig from a hazel tree.
• 5:47
  He had almost forgotten, but this twig had whacked him in the head, knocking
• 5:51
  his hat off as he was riding home.
• 5:53
  Thanking her father, Cinderella takes the twig and plants it on her mother's grave.
• 5:58
  Then she weeps, the way she always does when she's thinking about her
• 6:01
  mother, and her tears water the twig.
• 6:03
  And the twig very quickly grows into a majestic tree.
• 6:08
  Vector: By my calculation that would require roughly two hundred
• 6:11
  and three million tears over five years.
• 6:14
  Spark: This is clearly magic, Vector.
• 6:16
  Griffin: Yeah, it is.
• 6:17
  And that's not all.
• 6:19
  One day, Cinderella realizes something amazing.
• 6:22
  Whenever she stands beneath the tree and wishes for something, a
• 6:25
  little white bird appears and tosses down whatever she wished for.
• 6:28
  Spark: So this is like her fairy godbird?
• 6:31
  Griffin: Yeah, exactly.
• 6:32
  Her fairy godbird.
• 6:33
  Vector: Can it be a pigeon?
• 6:35
  Griffin: Okay, sure.
• 6:36
  Spark: And can her name be Marge?
• 6:38
  Griffin: Okay.
• 6:39
  Spark: Oh, oh, and instead of just tossing stuff down with her beak, every time
• 6:42
  Cinderella makes a wish, Marge lays a magic egg that drops down and cracks, and
• 6:46
  then whatever she wished for pops out.
• 6:49
  Griffin: Okay, got it.
• 6:50
  So Marge, the fairy godpigeon, lays magic eggs that contain
• 6:53
  anything Cinderella wishes for.
• 6:55
  Vector: And when the eggs hit the ground, it makes a fart sound?
• 6:58
  Griffin: Absolutely not.
• 6:59
  It makes a regular sound.
• 7:00
  Can we continue the story now?
• 7:02
  Spark: Fine.
• 7:03
  Vector: Fine.
• 7:04
  Griffin: Okay.
• 7:05
  So just after Cinderella discovers Marge the fairy godpigeon and her
• 7:08
  magical eggs, the king announces a great festival that will last three whole days.
• 7:13
  Every young woman in the kingdom is invited because the
• 7:16
  prince is looking for a bride.
• 7:18
  The way it works is that in the evening of each day of the festival, there will
• 7:22
  be an enormous ball where the prince will dance with the young ladies of
• 7:26
  the kingdom to try and find a bride.
• 7:28
  Vector: Question, what kind of enormous ball are we talking about?
• 7:32
  Like a beach ball or… I'm confused.
• 7:36
  Spark: He means like a dance party ball, not a bouncy ball, Vector.
• 7:39
  Griffin: Yeah, a ball is like a huge party with dancing.
• 7:42
  Vector: I knew that.
• 7:43
  Griffin: Mm-hmm.
• 7:45
  Anyway, everyone in the kingdom wants to go.
• 7:48
  This is the coolest party anyone has ever heard of.
• 7:52
  Plus, if you're a girl, there's a chance to become the princess.
• 7:57
  Not surprisingly, the stepsisters are freaking out, they're so excited.
• 8:01
  And because they're horrible, they make Cinderella wash and iron their dresses,
• 8:05
  polish their shoes, and do their hair.
• 8:07
  Even though Cinderella doesn't like being bossed around, she's such
• 8:10
  a kind-hearted person that she's happy to help her stepsisters.
• 8:14
  She's also really talented, so by the time she's done getting them
• 8:17
  ready, they both look amazing.
• 8:19
  There's just one problem.
• 8:21
  Cinderella also really wants to go to the ball, so she begs her stepmother,
• 8:26
  "Please, stepmother, can't I go? I won't be any bother." But of course, the wicked
• 8:31
  stepmother does not want that to happen.
• 8:33
  She knows Cinderella is too beautiful, not to mention smart and kind and charming.
• 8:38
  Her daughters won't have a chance if Cinderella is there, so she hatches
• 8:42
  an evil and totally random plan.
• 8:45
  As Cinderella watches, she grabs a big bowl of lentils, dumps them
• 8:49
  into the ashes of the fireplace, and says, " sort out these lentils.
• 8:54
  You have to pick them out of the ashes and separate the whole
• 8:57
  ones from the bits and pieces.
• 8:59
  If you can do that in less than an hour, you can come."
• 9:02
  Vector: Calculating, I would estimate a large bowl contains sixty-seven
• 9:06
  thousand and eighty-nine lentils.
• 9:08
  An average human with their lame hands and inferior processing capabilities
• 9:12
  would take twenty-seven point five hours of continuous sorting.
• 9:16
  This task is impossible.
• 9:18
  Spark: That's so mean.
• 9:19
  And also, who has that many lentils just lying around?
• 9:22
  This lady has problems.
• 9:24
  Griffin: She does.
• 9:24
  That's too many lentils.
• 9:26
  And also, she's totally evil.
• 9:28
  But anyway, the stepmother leaves with a nasty smirk on her face.
• 9:32
  She knows Cinderella will fail.
• 9:35
  But as soon as she's gone, Cinderella calls out the window, " Come little
• 9:39
  birds, help me sort the good lentils from the bad and put them in the bowl."
• 9:44
  And a whole flock of birds flies in through the window and starts sorting
• 9:47
  the lentils faster than you can imagine.
• 9:49
  They easily finish in under an hour.
• 9:51
  Vector: Is Marge the fairy god pigeon there?
• 9:54
  Griffin: Strangely enough, no.
• 9:55
  These are different birds.
• 9:57
  Spark: That's kind of weird, but fine.
• 9:59
  Griffin: Yeah, for some reason Cinderella is like totally the bird queen.
• 10:03
  They absolutely love her.
• 10:04
  And with the job done, Cinderella calls out to the stepmother
• 10:07
  to show her what she's done.
• 10:10
  But when she arrives, the stepmother scowls and dumps out two bowls of
• 10:13
  lentils and says, "Do it again. This time you have thirty minutes." So
• 10:18
  again, Cinderella calls to the birds.
• 10:21
  This time an even bigger flock arrives and gets the sorting
• 10:24
  done in just a few minutes.
• 10:26
  When Cinderella calls her stepmother back into the room, she's astonished to
• 10:29
  see all the lentils perfectly sorted.
• 10:32
  At this point, she knows her evil trick is not going to work.
• 10:36
  As far as she's concerned, Cinderella must be the greatest lentil
• 10:39
  sorter the world has ever known.
• 10:41
  So, glancing at the clock, she switches her tactics.
• 10:45
  "Hmm, well you still can't come.
• 10:47
  You have nothing to wear, your hair is dirty, and you
• 10:50
  don't even know how to dance.
• 10:51
  People would laugh at you.
• 10:53
  Anyway, my, look at the time.
• 10:55
  It's getting late.
• 10:56
  We need to go.
• 10:57
  Goodbye." And with that, she grabs her daughters by their wrists, rushes
• 11:02
  out, and slams the door behind them.
• 11:05
  Spark: Rude.
• 11:06
  And where's the dad in all this?
• 11:08
  Griffin: Oh yeah, don't forget.
• 11:09
  He's totally useless.
• 11:10
  Vector: He is probably busy picking his nose.
• 11:13
  Humans enjoy this pastime.
• 11:15
  Griffin: Normally I'd say you're wrong, but in this case, you might be right.
• 11:18
  This guy totally might be a nose picker.
• 11:21
  But moving on, as soon as the stepmother and stepsisters are gone,
• 11:25
  Cinderella runs to the hazel tree and says, shake and shiver, little tree,
• 11:29
  throw gold and silver down on me."
• 11:31
  And right away, Marge, the fairy god pigeon, lays a magical egg.
• 11:36
  Vector, the eggs do not make fart sounds when they fall.
• 11:39
  Vector: That actually wasn't me.
• 11:41
  Spark: Sorry, I had to do it!
• 11:43
  Griffin: Spark, we already went over this.
• 11:44
  You're supposed to be the mature one.
• 11:47
  Anyway, when the eggs break open, out pops a gorgeous silver and gold dress and
• 11:51
  slippers embroidered with silk and silver.
• 11:54
  Spark: Oh yeah, she's gonna slay.
• 11:56
  Griffin: Yes, she is.
• 11:57
  And by the way, she does know how to dance.
• 12:00
  So she puts on clothes, brushes her hair, and heads to the ball.
• 12:04
  She looks amazing.
• 12:06
  She looks so amazing that nobody recognizes her.
• 12:09
  The crowd falls silent when she walks in, and people whisper
• 12:12
  excitedly when she walks by.
• 12:14
  Everyone assumes she's some foreign princess.
• 12:17
  Of course, the prince notices her right away.
• 12:20
  He comes over, introduces himself, and invites her to dance.
• 12:24
  He's so charmed by Cinderella that he doesn't speak or dance with anyone else.
• 12:29
  He and Cinderella spend the whole night together, dancing and laughing
• 12:33
  and really getting to know each other.
• 12:36
  Cinderella is having the best night of her life, but deep down she's nervous.
• 12:40
  She's worried that the prince might not love her if he knows who she
• 12:43
  really is, and she's worried about what her stepmother and stepsisters
• 12:47
  might do if they realize it's her.
• 12:50
  They could lock her in her room.
• 12:52
  So even though the prince is desperate to know who she is, she decides
• 12:56
  to keep her identity a secret.
• 12:58
  She never tells him.
• 12:59
  Well, after hours and hours of dancing, Cinderella is tired.
• 13:04
  Finally, she tells the prince she wants to go home.
• 13:07
  Although he's sad that the night is over, he offers to walk her home.
• 13:11
  First, because he's a gentleman, and second, because he figures
• 13:15
  if he finds out where she lives, he can figure out who she is.
• 13:18
  But Cinderella's too clever for all that.
• 13:21
  She slips away from him and hides, and by the time her family gets home,
• 13:25
  she's back in her ashy rags by the fireplace like nothing happened.
• 13:29
  " I've just been here the whole time in my ashy rags, definitely
• 13:32
  not dancing at the ball.
• 13:34
  Uh, how, how was it anyway?" Cinderella asks the stepsisters.
• 13:38
  They gush and rave about the beautiful foreign princess who stole the show, and
• 13:43
  then they turn on their heels and leave Cinderella to sleep on the stone floor.
• 13:47
  Well, the next evening, Cinderella does the same thing.
• 13:51
  This time, Marge the fairy god pigeon drops a new dress even
• 13:54
  more beautiful than the last.
• 13:56
  Cinderella goes to the ball, blows everyone away, dances with
• 14:00
  the prince all night, and then slips away at the last minute.
• 14:04
  But on the third night, the prince has a plan.
• 14:07
  He's smeared the whole staircase with super sticky black tar.
• 14:11
  Spark: That's his plan?
• 14:12
  Get the beautiful princess stuck on the stairs with tar?
• 14:15
  Vector: It would be more efficient to trap her with a cage made of
• 14:18
  lasers or a swarm of robot drones.
• 14:21
  Griffin: Well, I think he was working with what he had, and he's getting desperate.
• 14:25
  This is the last night of the festival, and he still has no idea who she is.
• 14:29
  Anyway, his crazy plan kinda sorta works.
• 14:32
  The tar doesn't stop Cinderella, but it does pull off her left slipper
• 14:36
  as she dashes down the stairs.
• 14:38
  She keeps running and escapes, but now the prince at least has
• 14:41
  her tiny, beautiful slipper.
• 14:43
  It's so small he knows it's unlikely to fit anyone but the woman of his dreams.
• 14:48
  Spark: The glass slipper!
• 14:50
  Griffin: Ooh, yeah.
• 14:51
  That's actually from an even earlier version of the story.
• 14:54
  In this version, it's gold, but same idea.
• 14:57
  He's got one shoe and no girl.
• 14:59
  So the prince announces, "I will only marry the woman whose
• 15:03
  foot fits in this slipper."
• 15:07
  So he goes house to house, eventually arriving at Cinderella's home.
• 15:11
  While the stepmother tells Cinderella to stay in her ashy quarters, the two
• 15:15
  stepsisters greet the prince eagerly.
• 15:18
  The prince hands the slipper to the first stepsister, and she goes into
• 15:21
  another room to try it on, but her big toe is just a little too big.
• 15:25
  It won't fit.
• 15:27
  So the wicked stepmother says, "Hmm, you don't really need that toe.
• 15:31
  Besides, when you're queen, you won't need to walk anywhere anyway."
• 15:35
  The stepsister pauses for a moment, decides her mother is right,
• 15:39
  and she pops her toe right off.
• 15:41
  Spark: Um, she just pops her toe off?
• 15:43
  Can humans do that?
• 15:44
  Doesn't that hurt?
• 15:45
  Griffin: Probably, but she does it and walks proudly back into the room.
• 15:50
  The prince takes one look at her, and before he can even realize that this
• 15:53
  is totally not the same girl whose eyes he's been staring into for three
• 15:57
  nights in a row, he sweeps her off her feet, puts her on his horse,
• 16:02
  and begins riding towards his castle.
• 16:04
  Spark: Come on, dude.
• 16:05
  Griffin: Yes.
• 16:06
  This is not the prince's finest work.
• 16:08
  But luckily, he has to ride past the hazel tree on the way home, and
• 16:12
  sitting in that tree is Marge, the fairy godpigeon, and another bird.
• 16:16
  Vector: Billy.
• 16:17
  Griffin: What?
• 16:17
  Vector: Let's call him Billy.
• 16:19
  Griffin: Okay, fine.
• 16:21
  Marge the fairy god pigeon and Billy call out, " Silly you, look in that shoe.
• 16:25
  It's way too tight, cause this bride's not right." So the prince asks the
• 16:29
  stepsister to remove the shoe, and he sees what she's done to her toe.
• 16:33
  Disappointed and a little freaked out, he brings her home.
• 16:37
  And when he gets there, the second stepsister tries the same shenanigans.
• 16:41
  Her foot is ever so slightly too big, so she just shaves a bit off her heel.
• 16:48
  Spark: She just shaves it right off?
• 16:50
  Griffin: She just shaves it right off.
• 16:52
  Then she walks back out into the room, and the prince, having learned absolutely
• 16:57
  nothing from the insane thing that happened moments before, sweeps her
• 17:01
  off her feet, puts her on his horse, and rides off towards the palace.
• 17:06
  Luckily, Marge and Billy are still hanging around and once again call
• 17:09
  out, "Silly you, look in the shoe.
• 17:12
  It's way too tight 'cause this bride's not right." The prince is shocked.
• 17:16
  He can't believe he's been tricked again.
• 17:18
  Spark: Well, that's on you, buddy.
• 17:20
  I'm starting to think he might not be the brightest crayon in the box.
• 17:23
  Vector: Yes, he would be the worst color, like manatee or asparagus.
• 17:28
  Griffin: Hey, I like manatee.
• 17:29
  Vector: Lame.
• 17:31
  Griffin: So anyway, the prince brings stepsister number two back and asks,
• 17:34
  " Don't you have any other daughters?" He turns to the father and says, "You,
• 17:39
  I thought you had another daughter.
• 17:40
  Do you not?" And the useless father says, "Who, who me?
• 17:44
  I I, well, there's Cinderella, but she couldn't possibly
• 17:48
  be the girl you're after."
• 17:50
  Vector: He is not just useless, he is also a terrible person.
• 17:54
  Spark: Hey, that's what I was gonna say.
• 17:55
  Weird when we're on the same page.
• 17:58
  Griffin: It is weird, but you're both right.
• 18:00
  Anyway, the useless and terrible dad has said as much as he can
• 18:04
  think of, so the wicked stepmother jumps in and says, "No, Cinderella's
• 18:08
  just a dirty little kitchen girl,
• 18:10
  and she's all deformed.
• 18:12
  There's no way she's the one." But the prince, to his
• 18:15
  credit, insists on seeing her.
• 18:17
  So Cinderella washes her hands and face, comes out, and tries on the slipper.
• 18:22
  Of course, it slides on perfectly.
• 18:25
  Spark: Yes.
• 18:26
  In your faces, evil family.
• 18:28
  Vector: You go, girl!
• 18:30
  Griffin: The prince, learning from his mistakes, looks deeply into her eyes.
• 18:34
  In an instant, he knows it's the beautiful girl from the festival.
• 18:38
  With his hands holding hers, he whispers, "You are my one true
• 18:42
  bride. Come, let's get away from this miserable place." Cinderella agrees,
• 18:47
  and he sweeps her off her feet onto his horse and past the hazel tree.
• 18:52
  As they thunder by, Marge and Billy call out, " You're finally right.
• 18:56
  That shoe's not tight.
• 18:58
  You blew it twice, but your third try's nice." " That… seems a
• 19:02
  little rude," thought the prince as they galloped towards the palace.
• 19:05
  Spark: Serves you right, you big dummy.
• 19:07
  But I love you anyway.
• 19:08
  The end, right?
• 19:09
  Now they live happily ever after?
• 19:11
  Griffin: Almost.
• 19:13
  In just a few days, Cinderella and the prince have a fabulous wedding.
• 19:17
  And because Cinderella is pretty much the nicest person ever, she
• 19:20
  invites her family, even though they are clearly evil and horrible.
• 19:24
  And sensing an opportunity to get rich by pretending to like Cinderella,
• 19:29
  the two stepsisters actually show up.
• 19:31
  Spark: They've got a lot of nerve, those two.
• 19:34
  Griffin: Big nerve.
• 19:35
  But as they walk into the wedding, Marge and Billy swoop down and…
• 19:39
  Spark: And what?
• 19:41
  Griffin: Well, let's just say that afterwards, the
• 19:42
  stepsisters can't see anymore.
• 19:45
  Vector: Oh my goodness, the birds poop in their eyes.
• 19:48
  Griffin: What?
• 19:48
  Uh, well, in the original story, the birds peck out their eyes.
• 19:54
  But let's go with your version.
• 19:55
  The birds poop in their eyes so much that they become blind.
• 19:59
  Spark: Go Marge and Billy!
• 20:00
  The ultimate revenge.
• 20:02
  Griffin: Yeah, it sure is.
• 20:03
  And so, Cinderella and the prince live happily ever after.
• 20:07
  The end.
• 20:09
  Spark: Whoa, really?
• 20:10
  Vector: That is awesome.
• 20:12
  Spark: I love that one.
• 20:13
  Quick question though, what's up with all the birds in this story?
• 20:16
  Griffin: Back in the old days, birds were considered a symbol
• 20:18
  for things that are heavenly.
• 20:20
  Vector: I get it.
• 20:21
  So good humans can talk to magical birds, and bad humans get poop in their eyes.
• 20:25
  Griffin: You got it, Vector.
• 20:27
  Good job.
• 20:27
  Spark: Don't encourage him.
• 20:30
  Griffin: Come back for the next episode where you'll hear the real
• 20:33
  story of Aladdin and his magic lamp.
• 20:36
  This one is wild.
• 20:38
  Did you know there are actually two genies?
• 20:41
  Plus teleporting castles, baseball-sized jewels, and some extremely evil magicians.
• 20:47
  Spark: With terrible facial hair.
• 20:49
  Vector: All evil magicians have to have bad facial hair.
• 20:52
  It's the law.
• 20:53
  Griffin: To make sure you don't miss it, hit follow wherever you're
• 20:56
  listening, and the next episode of Stories for Robots will automatically
• 21:00
  drop into your feed next week.
• 21:01
  Spark: Yeah, and don't forget to share the show with your friends.
• 21:04
  Vector: Yes, post about it in your Reddit community for bowling nerds,
• 21:08
  or knit a Stories for Robots tapestry for your local community center, or
• 21:13
  other normal human means of sharing.
• 21:15
  Spark: And give us a five-star rating on Spotify or Apple.
• 21:18
  It helps other families find us.
• 21:21
  Griffin: Stories for Robots was created, performed, and
• 21:23
  produced by me, Griffin Schwed.
• 21:25
  Special thanks to Jack, Chloe, and Annie Farber for editorial
• 21:29
  consultation and moral support.
• 21:32
  If you'd like to support or learn more about the show,
• 21:34
  visit www.storiesforrobots.com.
• 21:38
  Email hello@storiesforrobots.com if you have any questions,
• 21:42
  feedback, or ideas for the show.
• 21:44
  I'd love to hear from you.
• 21:47
  Spark: Vector, did you ever have a nickname?
• 21:49
  Vector: Of course, many robots call me Dr. McCool the Fabulous.
• 21:53
  Griffin: How come that sounds like a lie?
• 21:55
  Spark: Yeah.
• 21:56
  Vector: It's not.
• 21:56
  That's just what they call me.
• 21:58
  Also Metallicus the Brave.
• 22:00
  Spark: Name one person or robot who calls you that.
• 22:03
  Vector: Easy
• 22:04
  Spanky, Flipper, Casper
• 22:07
  Milky, Pothole, Juniper…
• 22:11
  Robot disclosure.
• 22:13
  My voice and Spark's voice are given a beautiful robot
• 22:16
  makeover using AI technology.
• 22:18
  That is why we sound so cool and good.
• 22:20
  Spark: We really do.
• 22:22
  Oh, and the background music was also created using AI tech.