Latest / The You Project / #1575 Breanna's Beautiful Teeth - Breanna May

Transcript

#1575 Breanna's Beautiful Teeth - Breanna May · The You Project

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Goody Champions. It's HAPs, It's Tiffany Cook, It's Brianna May,
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's Sasa, It's the Bloody You Project. Who else would
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: it be? Where else would you be? Hi?
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: Tiv high harps Happy Friday?
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Oh fuck so happy? It's Friday, bursting out of a
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: fucking flannel. In fact, I don't even have my flannel,
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: and I'll put on my because Brianna's fucking glammed right up.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Unlike you and I, who look like we just got
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: out of the hay shed.
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: We're in insecurity central now. She rocked up and we
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: just hung her heads in shame.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: Look at her like fucking miss will just swans in.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: I'm wearing my formal everlast T shirt, which cost nine
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: bucks at the outlet fucking factory.
• 0:41
  Speaker 4: She's quite Melissa like, isn't she.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: She's a little bit Melissa like Melissa works with us, Brianna.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: She she's the actual boss of both stunning porcelain dole. Brianna.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: I'd like to point out that I've got tracky pants
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: on and like literally an old jumper. I'm wearing my.
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: Slippers, this old fish up, this old thing.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: You can't see me from below, but I'm quite cozy
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: if I want.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: You to use this as a primo reel, because people
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: are going to listen and go, oh, what are they
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: talking about? Then they're going to see the primo reel
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: and go, oh my god, those two ugly motherfuckers up
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: the top.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: Stop it.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: About you.
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: This might be I have to share a lot of
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: people do mention and I have. I have very fake teeth,
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: and they are in fact fake because I went through
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: my years of having like, I knocked them all out,
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: and so I've got these porcelain, beautiful teeth because I
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: knocked them all out and I spent high school having
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: know I shit, you not like gummy shark, no teeth
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: fifteen sixteen years old. So when people comment on my
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: porcelain teeth, I have to share that I earned these teeth.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: I earned them through a lot of hard yaker.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: How did you get your teeth? Well, if you were Tiff,
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: I would the stand because TIFs a boxer, But how
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: did you She's knocked out a few of her own,
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: not her own, but other people's because she's like that,
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: how did you lose your teeth?
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: I'd really love to say it was something cool like that,
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: but it was not. I actually fainted. I think I
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: had the shower too hot when I was, you know,
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: in the shower as you do when you're a teenager.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: You're moody and you're in the shower for ages trying
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: to avoid your parents, which is exactly what I was doing.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: I'd had a fight with my dad because I'd been
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: out drinking, doing the wrong things. Fainted coming out the
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: shower and went down on the side of the bar,
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: and so it was actually very traumatic. My dad found me.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: He heard a loud noise, couldn't get in, found me
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: unconscious on the floor. There was blood, there was teeth.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: I just had my braces off, so he was just like, fuck, like,
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: just got my braces off. I had perfect teeth. And
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: then I spent the next four months doing like full
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: on reconstruction of my face, going to high school with
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: no teeth, no lip. They had to stitch my lip
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: back on. It was a hole. It was a thing.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, that is that is Yeah, that's traumatic,
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: that's melodramatic. There's a bloody mini series in that. There
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: are how long between that and when you were back
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: to kind of you know, some semblance of normal where
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: you were happy with your gob and your teeth and
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: to go out in public.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: It was three months of full on not having many
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: teeth in my mouth at all, and then it's honestly
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: been the last since then. So it's been about fifteen
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: years until I just got them done this year before
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: I got married.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah, well for what it's worth from one bogain
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: to another. Although you're a glamorous bogan, they look fucking fabulous,
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: so well done.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: Thank you. And it was a great party trip. When
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: I was, you know, younger and clubbing, I could just
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: knock them out when guys were giving me the he begbi's,
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: I'd turn and knock my teeth out and that you
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: got rid of it.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: Wow, that would yep, that's yeah. You could just say no,
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: but all right, there's that. Also if your teeth are
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: very good, have you ever had any significant work done?
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: No, No, I'm very lucky. I've never had braces or anything.
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: They've always been quite straight. Grew up in a lolly
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: shop too, so probably should have no teeth left.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: Wow. I know Beattie Harps has got like one. I
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: got one feeling for one hundred and twenty two year
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: old man. My teeth are not too terrible either.
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: I've had a few feelings, I'll tell you that much.
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: They just look straight. Cosmetically they look good, but if
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: you get in amongst it, there's a few bit of
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: porcelain in.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: There, there's a few issues where.
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: It's called yeah, a bit of mercury too. Going to
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: get those silver ones out, apparently you.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: Get that shit out of your God, that's going to
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: kill you, Brianna. So I don't have to read some
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: not that it's boring, but some bio that's on a
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: website tell my audience a little bit about you, if
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: you would be so gracious.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: Of course, other than being a bogan with beautiful tea,
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: I would say mostly I'm a student, and because I'm
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: a student, I love learning. I love understanding humans. I've
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: been someone who's spent a long time studying, and that
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: led me down doing lots of different degrees and being
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: quite disappointed actually, as somebody who loves learning, to find
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: myself in all of these tertiary spaces, bored shitless a
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: lot of the time, and quite disengaged, although I wanted
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: to love learning, and then that led me, because I
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: love learning so much, to being a teacher, and I
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: was a high school teacher for quite a long time
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: and unfortunately have joined the droves of other disillusioned, disheartened
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: educators who have left the system. And while I was
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: in the system, I sort of saw the same reflection
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: back all these kids who started school with such a
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: love of learning, and I could almost see every single
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: year like that genuine curiosity just dying. And I almost
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: couldn't blame them because as the educator, as the teacher,
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: I was kind of bored by the curriculum. I was stressed,
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: I was feeling uninspired, and I just made a cheeky
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: comment to a lot of my teachers when I left.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: To my teacher friends, I was like, oh fuck, I'm
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: just gonna have to build my own school, because I
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: actually loved teaching more than anything in the world. I
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: love the students, I loved the deep conversations we had,
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: and I felt like the system was doing a disservice.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: So I made a joke that I'd build a school,
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: and that's actually what I did. And I started teaching
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: around mindset, emotional intelligence, and I really wanted to help
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: people to learn how to think and how to manage
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: their feelings. And to ignite love love for learning again too.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: I love it well. We talk a lot about thinking.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: My PhD is in metaps, better awareness, meta accuracy, which
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: is all around you know, kind of thinking about how
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: we think, thinking about how we think, thinking about how
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: others think, theory of mine, and thinking about how others
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: think about us or how we are perceived by others
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: and why that matters. It's a really like what's interesting
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: is And I apologize to my listeners who've heard me
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: talk about this too much, but I'll keep a brief
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: But most people don't truly think about how they think
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: or why they think, the way that they think, and
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: what the origin story is for their worldview or the
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: window through which they view the world, Like why do
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: I think like this one? And two? Does it serve
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: me or sabotage me? And three? Can I change it? For?
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: How you know? It's like, as I've said many times,
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: us three are in the same chat, but we're not
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: in the same experience. Not good, bad, not better or worse,
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: just different. So tell me about how did you get
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: clarity about designing? And this ain't a sales pitch everyone,
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: by the way, just if it kind of sounds like
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: I don't mean it too. I'm just curious around because
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: when people say to me the same thing, like what
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: do you do, I go, well, I'm about eighty percent student,
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: about twenty percent teacher. How did you decide what to
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: put in your syllabus or your content and what to
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: leave out? Knowing that if you've got twenty people in
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: a group, you've got twenty different backgrounds and needs and
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: personalities and learning styles, how did you start to put
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: it all together?
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: This was a process, I have to say, And as
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: someone who spent years doing curriculum and course building and
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: learning how to build rapport with so many different students,
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: putting something together for my school was one of the
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: most challenging things I've ever done professionally because of what
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: you just said, And so I think the first thing
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: that I considered was not so much what I'm putting
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: in it, but how I'm delivering it, because I think
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: that's a huge piece that educators or teachers, podcasters, content
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: creators often miss is how is this going to be received?
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: How do we get people even engaged in learning? Because
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: I don't know about you, but I remember some professors
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: at UNI they could be talking about the most fucking
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: boring thing. But if they were an engaging person and
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: they knew how to articulate it in a way that
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: was engaging, I would listen to anything with the right
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: person communicating it the right way. So I actually was
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: spending a lot of time thinking about how do I
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: make this engaging, no matter what the content is, so
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: that people are coming like with learning in mind, And
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: for me that actually meant I mean, there's so much
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: online learning now and personally, I was a teacher during COVID,
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: and it's not to me, it was just so disengaging.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: It was so hard to keep students engaged. So I
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: went more back to the old way in person, in
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: person teaching and learning, and for me personally, I just
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: thought that was so much more engaging. But then with
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: what to put in it, I did see and I'm
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: sure you'll resonate with this in the personal development and
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: I'm that space. The personal development space, it's almost like
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: there's two modalities or two schools of thought, and you've
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: always got that sort of like mindset NLP, change your thoughts,
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: what's your thoughts? The cognitive behavior therapy, the mindset, and
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: all of those tools that we can use. And I
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: saw those as very very very helpful and very foundational,
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: especially if I was looking through the lens of what
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: mindset do people need to learn? And so I was
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: looking at that, but then I could see that there
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: is a time and a nuance where those tools become
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: a weapon, and they can be a little bit toxic,
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: almost like don't think bad thoughts, don't think you know,
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: push that away, put that away. And so I didn't
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: want it to be all that, and that's when I
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: brought in the other content, which was more around the
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: emotional intelligence of knowing what tools to use and when
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: and knowing when to feel your feelings as opposed to
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: when to override them in instances where it's needed. And
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: so I sort of built this curriculum where I wanted
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: to give lots of tools, but then also the understanding
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: that sometimes tools become weapons, and the real emotional intelligence
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: is knowing what you need and when and why you
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: might be using some and why you might be resisting others.
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: You know, I was somebody who really resisted all the
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: emotional stuff. I was like, let me do the mindset.
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: I can do the mindset. That's easy, but emotional stuff
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: was a little bit more challenging to me, and so
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: it was again, why am I resisting this type of
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: learning and thinking? And so I've put all of it
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: in a curriculum, but also with the intent that people
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: learn when to apply certain practices and when to drop them.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that. Well. Also, the thing too, is,
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: as you were alluding to some of your professors, you
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: probably also had other people who we're talking about super crucial, important,
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: relevant stuff in a really fucking, horribly boring way, Like
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: you can have the best content with the worst delivery,
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: and everyone in the room has switched off. And we've
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: had obviously I can't say who, but you know, over
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: six years, I've done probably i'm going to say seven interviews.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: You definitely won't be one of them. But the people
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: that I interviewed were brilliant and they'd done brilliant work.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: A couple that everyone in everyone would know, like high
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: profile international guests, and they were mindlessly, painfully boring, and
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: I thought, I can't put that up. Nobody is going
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: to listen to that. It's not going to do that
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: guest a service or us. It's actually bad my brand.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: And I was so disappointed because they were, and then
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: other people you get on and you're like, oh, like
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: I've said to Tip or Melissa, who kind of works
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: with us, I don't know. I don't know about this guest.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: I'm like, it's you know, because I've never and I
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: read about them and I'm like, ah, and they're fucking incredible,
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: Like they're you know, they really like they're when I
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: you know, the things that you look at, well, what
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: have they done and what have they done academically? Do
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: they have any credibility to talk about this stuff? And
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, it's a bit skinny, it's a bit
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: light on and I don't know if this bloke or
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: this girl or the oh and then then they're twenty
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: six times better than me. I'm like, all right, shut
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: the fuck up, ups, and just where you know where,
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: all of a sudden, I'm a fucking idiot. They're a genius.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: And I was thinking, I hope they're good enough for
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: my show. You know, they're too good for your show,
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: you dick kid, you know, And there's that well think
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: about you know, like think about like at the moment,
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: I'm working with a couple of academics who want to
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: get in front of corporates. Right. So I've got a
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: lot of academic friends and non academic friends. And all
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: of my academic friends are PhD level and beyond, and
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: they're smarty pants, and not all of them, but the
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: ones I'm talking about, and I'm trying to help them
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: to get in front of a non academic audience and
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: build rapport and connection and trust and respect and be
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: a bit funny and tell some stories and share some
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: of their knowledge in a way that resonates with a
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: group of people who don't want a lecture, like even
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: to get them to understand what I'm talking about, you know,
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: because in their lane, they're brilliant. But you know, it's
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: like you take a runner and chuck him or her
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: in the pool and they're drowning. And these guys are
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: like brilliant runners, but they can't fucking swim. Well, dude,
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: you need to be able to do it all. You
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: need to be able to swim, run, ride, punch, climb
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: skin you know as well.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: And I think this is a huge piece that I
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: saw also within the education system. I would witness this
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: quite often and I always thought, and I don't know
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: if you know that in high schools and most schools
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: throughout Australia at the moment they do like streaming, so
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: they'll have, for example, like the top set, and that's
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: what they'll call them, the top set kids, and then
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: the bottom kids, and they'll use this language, which to
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: me was quite heartbreaking to hear some kids call themselves
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: the dumb class, because you know what they what identity
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: does to it's on that later in life. And I'd
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: be like, oh my god, no, please don't call yourself
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: the dumb class. But I remember having conversations and debates.
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: I was senior English, and so we had debates, and
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: I had one year the so called quote dumb class, right,
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: And I shit, you not these kids. Academically they didn't
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: they didn't do crash hot. But I have never met
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: a group of students who were so charismatic, so emotionally intelligent.
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: They knew how to build rapport with me. I enjoyed
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: hanging out with them more than the staff room. Most
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: of the time. They were hilarious, and we did debates
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: and they'd get really emphatic and they would really bring
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: like so much charisma. And I said to all of them,
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: you know what, when you leave this school, I need
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: you to know that you are one of the most
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: intelligent sets of kids I've ever met, and you are
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: going far so far because of that skill. And to me,
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: I just think this day and age, content is out
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: there for everyone. Information is over, There's so much information.
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: AI can do it for you. But if we don't
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: teach people that skill of building relations with other people,
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: of building connection, of storytelling, of knowing how to connect
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: with people, They're going to be in strife. And so
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: I feel like it needs to be a skill. You
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: just mentioned, getting people to understand the skill and the
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: art of human interaction and rapport. I feel like that
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: needs to be really spoken about.
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: And I think, yeah, I love that. I completely agree.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: But I think also, Breanna, you know, in our culture,
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: for better or worse, we really have academic intelligence on
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: a pedestal. I'm not even I'm not I'm not intellectually
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: brilliant at all. I'm not academically brilliant at all. I'm
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: not brilliant at anything, let's be honest. But what I
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: mean is there are so many people who are, you know,
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: great communicators, amazing communicators. They can read nonverbal communication, they
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: can build a poor when academics. They can see shit
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: that other people can't. They're creative geniuses. They can make
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: shit with their hands. It's fucking mind blowing. My training
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: partner finished school at year ten. The guy lift weights
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: with every day and and you know, you could give
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: him seven fucking code hangars and some tape and a
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: pillow case, He'll build you a fucking house. Like you know,
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: like he's just so smart. Like like intelligence is a spectrum.
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: You know, it's it's, it's it's a bunch of things.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: But in our culture, we don't recognize or celebrate different
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: kinds of intellect and intelligence and gifts. And we you know,
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: down to the point where I understand it and I
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: get it, but I kind of hate it where we
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: rank people's intelligence with a number. We go, WA's your number,
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: and if you're this number, you're a genius. If you're
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: below this number, you're handicapped. Now, yeah, right now, And
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: look from a you know, from a psych point of view,
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: I understand it. But at the same time, it's one
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: of those things. You know, this is a weird Harrison,
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: But it reminds me of putting people on a stage.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: And I come from a bodybuilding background, owning gyms, all
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: that shit, you know, where we put people on a
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: stage and we literally rate them entirely on their appearance,
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: and we go you're first, your last, you're the worst.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: What's that doing for people's self esteem?
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: You know? Yeah, And that's with adults. That's with adults
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: who have chosen to be there, and they maybe have
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: a little bit more of that understanding and prep. Maybe
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: they've got a mindset coach and all of that. But
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: when you're doing this with kids from a young age
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: and it's in the edge, what you just said is
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: so heavily perpetuated and inseminated through the education system that
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: there's this real fear of being wrong. And obviously, like
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: you said, there's a nuance. We need to know where
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: we are we tracking well, do we have literacy and
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: numeracy behind us? We need to know those things for sure.
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: But the weight and the leverage that we have in
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: our system and our society is just, in my opinion,
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: and not helpful at all.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about. So you work
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: with coaches, You train people to coach other people, and
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: you coach people, gift coaches people like coach people. We
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: all are in a similar space, Like there are certain
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: people that can get all the quolls, as you know,
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: and tick all the boxes and meet the requirements, but
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: what about what about working with people who just don't
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: have it? You know, It's like I can go do
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: all the singing lessons, but well, tiff things I can
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: actually sing, but said, yeah, I would like to hear
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: this me No, no, but whatever, right, I don't know,
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: like I'm never going to be I can do all
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: the training, but I'm never running one hundred meters in
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: ten seconds? Right? What about the people that come into
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: your courses where and of course there's always just room
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: for general improvement and all of that, but you like,
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: apart from the content the knowledge, the meeting the requirements,
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: sticking the boxes and passing the course, for want of
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: a better term, where you're like, oh, fuck, this person
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: has a personality that's tough, Like how do you address that?
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: Because you can't really teach someone's self awareness.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: I think this is where I've actually had this conversation
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: lots of times because I've had people say to me,
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: I don't think I'm that person. All these people that
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: just have it, they're so charismatic, they're so confident, My
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: perspective on that is that charisma is a confidence thing,
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: and confidence and charisma is actually learned, and it is
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: there are skills, whether people realize that they're conscious, that
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: they're probably unconsciously doing that thing where they just know
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: how to build rapport, They know how to walk into
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: a room and have people listen, their personality is a
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: lot more personable. I would say there is a very
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: unique set of skills that most of those people have,
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: and I do think that a lot of it can
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: be taught, it can be improved, and there's lots of
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: prompts that we can give people to encourage self reflection.
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: But I would argue that those people, those people that
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: have got it, when we think about those people, they're
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: usually very confident within themselves because they've put reps in
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: in something, meaning they've probably got a lot of emotional resilience,
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: which again I have a gripe about what we're doing
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: at the moment in the system that is ruining resilience.
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: But a lot of people that have that factor they've
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: got confidence from reps. They've got the reps from having
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: courage and having the resilience to put themselves in the
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: ring again and again and again, and because they've got
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: that inner confidence, they show up with a different body language,
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: they show up with different I patterns, they show up
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: with different they just show up in a different energy.
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: And that is what we call charisma. Somebody who is
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: really aligned in the way that they speak, move at talk.
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: We pay attention to those people, and I think that
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: that is something that we can teach others.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: Tell us about You just said something about the system
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: kind of not destroying resilience or not kind of helping
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: people be resilient. Can you expand on that?
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: So I've heard of examples. I'm no longer in the system,
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: but I work with a lot of teachers and a
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: lot of different schools, and I hear of things where
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: we're taking, for example, in junior sports, taking away any
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: scores because everybody's a winner and taking away the medals,
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: or in the drama play, we're not having the leading
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: role anymore, everybody gets a lead role. I just think,
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: can't we give kids in a safe environment the opportunity
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: to lose like a winner, Like, can't we give kids
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: the tools and the options to actually practice losing while
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: they're in a safe space.
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: Well, we could also say to practice life. Yeah, because
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: guess what when you're a grown up, you're fucking losing.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: Guess what. People are going to hate you for no reason.
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: Guess what bad shit's going to happen. Guess what. Life's
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: not fair. You know, it's I mean, this is yeah,
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: you're right, it's doing it the right way. But you know,
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: life gives no fucks about your feelings. And even when
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: I you know, when I've worked with lots of athletes
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: and stuff, but I and even when I'm working with
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: people who might be let's say a little bit emotionally fragile,
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: of course they take that into account, whether they're athletes
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: or just you know, general public. But I say to people, look,
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: I'm more interested in your long term health, happiness, performance,
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: resilience outcomes than making you feel good for three minutes. Like,
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: I don't want you to feel bad. But my job
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: is not to make you feel good. That isn't my job.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: My job is to coach you, mentor you, empower you,
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: equip you, upskill you. So you're a fucking weapon and
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: you don't need Brianna, Tiff or Craig. You're just a
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: fucking weapon, right, Yeah, Yeah.
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: And that's what I think that's the move at the moment,
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: because there is and it's a great thing again, there's
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: nuance and gray areas. It's such a good thing that
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: we've got emotional and mental health at the you know,
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: we're bringing more attention to it. But sometimes what we've done,
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: and I saw this in the system, and I thought,
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: oh my god, we're actually going to make them more
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: fragile in a place and a society and a time
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: where they're actually they are very fragile because of social
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: media and all these things. And we're saying, take away
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: all opportunities where they might feel anxious, take away all
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: opportunities for them to fail, take away all scenarios for
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: them to feel bad, because these you know, fragile little
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: snowflakes that shouldn't be shouldn't have to be put through
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: that parents who are now saying if their child has
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: failed to test, well, what did the teacher do wrong?
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: What did the teacher do? What is the school doing wrong?
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: All of these things, And I just think I think
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: we've gone about it a very interesting way.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: Well, I think we're just perpetuating maladaptive behavior, and you know,
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: like we're perpetuating this kids who are coming out ill
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: equipped for I mean, yes, we've got to love them.
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: And you know, it's like it's okay to say to
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: your kid, you came last, but guess what, I love
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: you and you're amazing. Like it's you came last, but
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: it's okay, I came last. You know. It's like, yeah,
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: you know I was. You know, I literally came last
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: at school. I was a morbidly OBEs school kid, right,
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: and so I literally came last. But for me, and
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: that's not that it would be the same for everyone,
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: but I came last constantly. But it was like, for me,
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: it did build resilience, it did build understanding, It did, strangely,
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: over time, inspire me to not be the way that
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: I was because no one was going, oh they're there,
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: are you okay? Nobody? And you know it's okay because
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: the bottom line was Will Craig, someone's coming last, and
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: today it's you. That's okay. It won't always be you,
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: you know, and I think that that, you know, as
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: long as kids still feel love, safe, needed, valued, supported,
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: of course there's that, but yeah, well it's and so
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: did I read also that you did law? Did you
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: do a law degree as well?
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yep, what happened to that? Oh, I don't know
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: what I was thinking. To be honest, I started, like
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: I said, I think when you finish high school and
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: it's still the same, you're choosing based on your ego.
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: You're choosing based on what the teacher said would be
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: the best also the best look for the school based
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: on your grades. And I actually really wanted to do
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: something that was a little bit more creative. I liked music,
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: I liked teaching, I liked psychology, and I remember a
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: few teachers being like, well that no, like that would
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: be a waste sort of thing. And so I did law,
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: and yeah, I found myself five years into a degree
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: that I didn't like. And also, again I have to say,
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: there was not a single professor inside of that degree
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: that inspired learning. And I was starting to think, because
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: as somebody who did love learning, where are these professors
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: getting their communication and teaching skills? How do you become
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: a professional and teach in a tertiary way, in a
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: way that puts four hundred people to sleep. And so
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: I wasn't being inspired, and I was thinking there's something
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: wrong here. The education. This is the highest point of education.
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: Most people were watching basketball games. So I was born
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: in the university degree, honestly, drank my way through my
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: law degree, and then finished up with this degree where
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: I'd done really well and I actually didn't know stuff
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: all about law. And then I started thinking, wow, I
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: have parroted back, done very well academically, been uninspired the
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: whole time, left none the wiser had my first I
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: remember my first day in a law firm. I asked
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: my partner, or I asked the colleague which firm, Like,
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: which court case do I take this too? I didn't
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: even know which jurisdiction to go to, and I had
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: just finished my law degree, didn't know whether it was
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: a federal case a state case. Couldn't figure out that
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: out for myself. But I had gotten through and done
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: very well and been uninspired the whole time. So yeah,
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: change there, But it did actually really activate in me this.
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: I want to be a teacher who makes learning fun
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: and I want learning to be the point. The point
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: is learning and curiosity, and I'm really grateful for that degree,
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: to be honest, Yeah, do you think I mean?
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: I don't know the answer to this. I have a
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: suspicion I think there would be a lot of professors
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: who don't think it's their job to inspire people. I
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: think they just think it's their job just to share
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: the content of the course.
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: And is that not a huge problem?
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: Well it is, it is. But I think they're like, well,
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: if you need me to inspire you, then you're in.
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm not, I'm just playing the devil's advocate.
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: But I but I'm with you. And I lecture at
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: university when I finished my first degree, and I but more.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: I mean, yes, I wanted to inspire them, but I
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: also I just wanted it to be fun, because I
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: fucking I don't want to stand up there and lecture
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: anatomy and physiology and biomechanics, and you know, it's like,
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: it's so, how do we how do we make this practical?
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: And how do I tell stories in this? And how
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: do we make it resonate? And honestly, it was fifty
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: percent for me and fifty percent for them because I
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: wanted to enjoy it as well. Yeah.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And if you're enjoying it, the students are too.
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: That's just the way it works. And I feel, I
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: really feel for students and educators these days, because no
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: one is taught how to communicate. Nobody is taught rapport,
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: Nobody is thinking about these I don't think. I mean,
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: I did an education degree and I left again thinking wow,
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: nothing here actually taught me any skills that would help
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: to create engaging lessons. It taught me how to teach
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: to tests. But yeah, I think I do think that
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: the education system as a whole needs a bit of
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: a shakeup.
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: I think that's true for many industries, Like you know,
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: when people do so my first degree was exercise science.
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: People would come out of that and they would some
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: of them come to me because I owned gyms and
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: want to be a trainer or whatever. And they could
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: prescribe exercise to a level and they did understand that,
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: you know, anatomy and physiology, et cetera, to a level,
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: But they couldn't have a conversation with somebody. They couldn't
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: build connection, they couldn't they couldn't read the room like
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: they And you know that's not when you think about
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: most degrees, especially as a lawyer, Well fucking hell, you
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: think a huge part of being a good lawyer is
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: understanding people, is being able to build rapport and trust
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: and resolve conflict and solve problems and be present. And
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: yet there's probably no communications subject in your.
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: Course, right, No, nothing, And this is I think it's
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: a basic fundamental thing that needs to be taught in schools.
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: It needs to be taught in universities. I think communication
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: is everything, and communication requires emotional intelligence, and nowhere are
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: we taught emotional intelligence. And so people are learning all
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: this when they're thirty, forty, fifty, sixty and going oh shit,
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: like That's one of the most common pieces of reflections
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: I get from students in my cohorts. We're usually forty, thirty,
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: fifty whatever, and they're like, why did I not learn this?
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: This would have changed my relationship with my kids, This
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: would have changed my relationship with my boss, This would
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: have changed my relationship to myself. And communication is everything,
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: but it requires emotional intelligence.
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: What what I mean? We need to tread carefully here,
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: But what a guys? When we go girls and guys,
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: and we're generalizing, but ladies tend to at least display
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: more emotional intelligence, it seems, or be able to open
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: the door wider. Yes, I know I'm generalizing, and I'm
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: a guy and I tend to be quite touchy feely
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: in an emotional way, not a physical way. That sounded creepy.
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: Can help all the.
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: Disclaimers for this bit.
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Do you think that's just a cultural thing that
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: women are more open and more comfortable to talk about
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: all that stuff, or is that biological or something else.
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: I think it's a little bit of option A and B.
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: I think it's both. But I also think it's very
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: much the context of the cultural context creates a huge change.
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: And you know, if you think back to like my
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: dad's generation, it was it's a generational thing. We don't
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: talk about our feelings. There's been a cultural I would say,
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: like a paradigm shift in some ways. I still believe
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: that women and again careful with these uses of pronouns
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: things these days, but I do. I would say women
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: generally are encouraged from a young age to talk a
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: lot more about their feelings. However, I've taught lots of
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: teenage boys, lots of teenage boys, and honestly, they want
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: to talk, they want to get deeper, They actually crave it,
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: and they have blown my mind so often that it's
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: our projections we need to watch. I find when they're
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: given the space and when they're told that it's accepted,
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: it's you know, welcomed. They thrive, they really do. And
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: you know, again with these it depends on your the
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: context that you bring into that classroom. But if you
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: go in thinking that these boys can't wait to talk
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: about deep stuff, they really do.
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: Let's talk about you. So, what what's got you excited
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: at the moment, Like what are you researching? What are
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: you studying? What do you think you need to get
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: or what do you want to dive deeper into? Like
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: I'm always researching something I don't know enough about, but
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: I want to know more about what's got your attention
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: at the moment.
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: At the moment, it's IFS, so internal family systems. I
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: was spending a lot of time researching Carl Jung and
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: shadow work, and I love, love, love love like looking
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: into egos and projections and all of that, And I
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: think that goes hand in hands. From the research that
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: I've done, it tends to go hand in hand with IFS,
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: and I've I've found that very fastating give.
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: Us, give us a snapshot. So people are like, tell
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: me more, give us a snapshot.
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: Well, so I'm in the beginning phases of being a
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: student for this, But it seems to me that it's
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: acknowledging that within all of us there's multiple parts, like
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: these personas or personalities, and those personalities are all playing
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: a role, and they'll be to protect us from feeling
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: a certain way. And we have we have roles and
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: parts within us that are almost competing for different intentions
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: and purposes. And oftentimes we think that we are that
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: where the you know, obsessive compulsive person And it's like, well,
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: if you just change the language or the frame that
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: there is a part of me inside that's obsessive compulsive
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: for a particular purpose, we can start to bring wholeness
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: back to ourselves. Is that That's what I'm sensing in
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: my research.
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: I'm going to ask you in a minute, TIF, so
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: get ready. So what's had my attention the last month?
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: I get on a new thing every month, but I'm
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: doing a deep dive into the relationship between our thoughts
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: and our body. So obviously a thought has a physiological consequence.
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: But the way that we can think ourselves into sickness
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: and so fucking fascinating. Like I could unpack that with you,
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: I won't, But just the consequences of rumination, overthinking, self loathing,
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: that whole kind of obsessing about shit. We can't change
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: investing energy in the thing that happened five years ago,
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: you know, ruminating about the problems that might happen in
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: the future. It does such damage to our body, like
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: in a literal way, not a metaphoric way, you know,
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: cellular health, cortisole production, nervous system. Oh, it's so interesting.
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: So I'm down that rabbit hole. In two weeks, I'll
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: probably take a left turn and be into pottery and ceramics.
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: But this week, that's fucking now. And once I get
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: on something, I'm like this. I learn something, and then
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: I learn a little bit. Then I open another door,
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: then I open all the doors, and then I want
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: to tell everyone because if I tell everyone, then I
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: remember it better, So I selfishly want to share it.
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah that's the phrase, isn't it. Those who can't do
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: teach as in teach so you can do.
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Well that's that's me. I'm tiff. What are you into? Like,
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: what's got your attention in terms of learning?
• 38:34
  Speaker 3: At the moment, I feel like I've been on it
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: for a while, But it's that it's that idea about
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: beliefs like what do we what do we choose to believe?
• 38:42
  Speaker 4: And when I choose to believe that, how does my
• 38:46
  Speaker 4: life play out?
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 38:48
  Speaker 3: But the answers because we you and I both talk
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: to people and learn, we learn science, we learn proven
• 38:54
  Speaker 3: data everyone's and there's science to prove every side of
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: an argument. So then it's understanding the choice of where
• 39:03
  Speaker 3: do I Where do I already sit with this? Why
• 39:05
  Speaker 3: do I sit there? Should I shift it? And if
• 39:07
  Speaker 3: I choose to shift it? What does that mean for
• 39:09
  Speaker 3: my life?
• 39:10
  Speaker 4: Hmm?
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah? And also where does where does my identity start
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: and finish in relation to that belief? And yeah, if
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: they're intertwined, then you attack my belief, you attack my
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: identity and fuck you?
• 39:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah? And why do I make the choices I make?
• 39:31
  Speaker 4: And is there underlying reasons?
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 39:33
  Speaker 4: Like I am a reason making factory.
• 39:36
  Speaker 3: I call myself a justification factory, and I have to
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: catch myself out all the time because justifications can let
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: me be whoever I already am without question. I'll just
• 39:48
  Speaker 3: justify it and go, well, there's this really good reason
• 39:51
  Speaker 3: and I can feel comfortable in that. But is it mechanism?
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: Is it?
• 39:56
  Speaker 4: Are you escaping are you deflecting?
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: What is the thing?
• 40:00
  Speaker 4: Are they really a dickhead? Or are you the dickhead?
• 40:02
  Speaker 4: I'm usually the dickhead.
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: Mah well, I think the biggest fairy tale we tell
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: ourselves is that we're open minded. Yeah, well, no you're not.
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: You're not. I'm not. And I teach this shit, you know,
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: I teach it. Am I am? I a clean slate? Fuck?
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: I wish, but I've got pre existing beliefs and ideas
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: and values and bias and prejudice and experiences. I understand objectivity,
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: but I'm not it.
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: The best I can hope for is to be more
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: open minded than I currently am. You know, agree? Yeah?
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: I think the best I feel like you know how
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: you said, how do we teach people to be open minded?
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: I feel like what I would say to everyone is
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: to be like constantly playing Devil's Advocate to yourself. And
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: the more I do that, the more I'm like, wow,
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: I'm not open mind to be steadfast improving yourself wrong?
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yep? And I think you know when you are,
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: like when you are that person that you are, you know,
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: you're up the front and your torch it talking and teaching.
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: But you're also like, by the way, here's a list
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: of the things I've fucked up, and get comfortable. You know.
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: It's like, oh, okay, so you're kind of like me, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: And you know I've said a thousand times on this show.
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: If I waited until I had all my shit together
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: before I did a podcast or a presentation or a coaching,
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: I'd never do it. I'd be sitting at home in
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: the fetal position, watching like a Netflix because I fucked
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: I will get five things wrong this podcast, and that's okay.
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: You know. So a couple of questions for you. You're great,
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: by the way, we appreciate you. What do you need
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: to get better at? What do you need to get
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: better at.
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: The first thing that actually came up was running, because
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to do that at the moment. It's discipline
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: with running, it's actually discipline I'm really practicing. I've got
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: this like rebellion against structure at the moment. I think
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: because I spent so long being so disciplined, so structured,
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: and you know, be here at this time and this
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: time and that time, that I've created this false dichotomy
• 42:23
  Speaker 2: that freedom is the opposite of structure. So I'm pulling
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: back in on my discipline again.
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: That's good. That's good that you're questioning that. If what's
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: one thing you need to get better.
• 42:35
  Speaker 3: At all of the things. No, I don't think so
• 42:42
  Speaker 3: I think structure, But I also don't do well with structure.
• 42:49
  Speaker 3: But I still feel like there's a lot of gaps
• 42:52
  Speaker 3: I leave in my own progress in a lot of
• 42:54
  Speaker 3: areas in life because I thrive on spontaneity and going
• 43:00
  Speaker 3: with the flow and being you know, intuitive, yeah, intuitive,
• 43:05
  Speaker 3: thank you. Yeah.
• 43:06
  Speaker 4: So I think that's a battle.
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, and new harps. I've got to
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: get better at doing the things that I don't want
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: to do but I need to do. Like if I've
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: got to read, like your PhD, I've got to like
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: my PhD. Like if I've got to read an academic paper,
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: I'll find eighty fucking reasons not to read that paper,
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: and I will convince myself that all eighty of those
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: things must be done first, even if that's watching motorbike
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: reviews on YouTube, Like I can rationalize fucking anything, you know. So,
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: if everything goes great for you for the next five
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: years personally professionally, everything goes great, happening in five years.
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: I would love to be a mother. That's been an ongoing, bloody, spiritual, physical,
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: emotional journey. So in the next five years, I'll be
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: a mum and my school will have its own HQ.
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: I'd really love to buy a commercial property and have
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: a space for schools and coaches and teachers and students
• 44:21
  Speaker 2: to come to. Also while I have my little toddlers
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: on my hip. Hopefully that's right, you just have.
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: Your offspring just strapped to your body, like yeah, fucking yeah.
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: What before we go, what makes you coach? Coaches? What
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: makes a good coach? I know that's that's not a
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: one minute answer, but give us a snapshot. What makes
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: somebody a good coach? What's maybe in the top three
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: things that we would want?
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: Emotional intelligence, communication skills, and a growth mindset, I would say,
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: are like a real growth mindset because you're in the
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: it is the industry of growth.
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: It's it's you know, it's an it's an interesting industry
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: because you know, I tell you what. Now, obviously I
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: had no opinion of this is full disclosure. I had
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: no opinion about you because I didn't really know much, right, So,
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: but you and I and Tiff. We all inhabit a
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: landscape which is very, very busy, hectic and full of
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: chest beating people who they have the one true philosophy
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: ideology program, pill powder, potion, fucking path. I tell you
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: what I loved about you. I jumped on your instant
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: and I even rang Tiff, didn't I Tiff?
• 45:44
  Speaker 4: He did true story and.
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: I said, I said, teeth, I went, what's going on
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: with this? Bitches? Teeth fuck? And hell no, I didn't
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: do that at all. I did not do that at all.
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: Don't send me an email. Everyone, Brianna's okay with it?
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: I think no, I went, I went, Brown has done
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: this really well, like look at a website, look at it,
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: you know, not that and both of us could learn
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: from you. And I was thinking, Wow, the way that
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: you put all that together. And what I also loved,
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: which was genuine. It was pr and it was marketing,
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: but it was also genuine, which makes it valid. Your
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: students just pumping up your tires one after another after
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: another after another, And I thought, you know what, you
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: can't make people do that. That's real, you know, And
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: so whatever you're doing, you're doing something great. So congratulations,
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: and you know you seem to have raving fans, which is,
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: you know, in the space that you operate, that's a
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: good thing, not a bad thing.
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: So yeah, so well done, you thank you so much.
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: That really means the world. I find it hard, honestly.
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: Sometimes I have my own process with that space that
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: we're in and that growth space, and I always, again
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: playing Devil's advocate for myself. I want to make sure
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: that we're doing good things and that I'm not full.
• 47:06
  Speaker 2: You know, it's a very interesting space, this personal development
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: and coaching space, and there's a lot of shady shit.
• 47:11
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of shady shit and Charlatan's and you
• 47:16
  Speaker 2: do this and it's like a really it can be
• 47:18
  Speaker 2: a gross industry. And I sort of say to my
• 47:21
  Speaker 2: clients my goal is to be redundant. I don't want
• 47:24
  Speaker 2: to be I don't want to be the missing piece.
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: I don't want to be I'm just a teacher and
• 47:29
  Speaker 2: I'm learning and I'm fucking up and yeah, so that's
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: kind of my message. But it is a very interesting industry.
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, since we all three of us have a similar philosophy,
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: all right, now, plug away tell people where to go,
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: how to get involved, where they can find you, follow you,
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: connect with you if you'd be so kind.
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: Probably Instagram, I think is the place. So I am
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: Breanna May on Instagram. And the mind School Method is
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: the place, the place where I get to teach all
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: this fun stuff. And yeah, the website, I sort of
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: use it, I kind of don't. It's really Instagram. And
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: the mind School Method is currently open. We're going to
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: Queensland next and that's very exciting. First time we're going
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: over east, and then another one in Perth in October.
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: So all things mindset, emotional intelligence, shadow work, all the
• 48:17
  Speaker 2: tools so that you can then learn what tools to
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: use and when to fuck them right off.
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: Oh I love that a woman after on my own
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: vocabulary will say goodbye. Fairbue Browner TIV, thank you so much.
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: Enjoyed meeting you and continued success, my friend.
• 48:35
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much,