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Mark Boutin - A Vacation Wake Up Call Changed His Life · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, I'm Riley and I'm Ryder.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_03: And this is my dad's show.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_03: Hey everybody, it's Casey Jacobs with the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_03: Welcome to season seven.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_03: Can't wait for this season as there's a lot of great guests ahead.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_03: If you're new to this podcast, really it's simple.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_03: It's a podcast where we we interview dads, we learn about how they were raised, we learn about the life lessons that were important to them, we learn about the values that are important to them, and really we learn about how we can work hard to become a better quarterback or leader of our home.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_03: So let's sit back, relax, and listen to today's episode of the Quarterback Jackast.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_03: Hey everybody, it's Casey Jacox with the Quarterback Jackest for in season seven, and the guests keep rolling along.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_03: And our next gentleman, um, I always love when I get referrals from from from previous podcast guests and the one and only Christopher Mater, who has, I think, the biggest gaps in the East Coast, the biggest quads in the United States of America.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_03: He said, J.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_03: Cox, I gotta have you talk to my man Mark Bowden.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_03: Um he is he's a northeastern uh lad up in the Portland, Maine area.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_03: Uh he's got he's got tons of finance experience, but he's now found the wide world of coaching.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_03: Uh he's gonna talk about mantras such as win the day, win forever.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_03: He I think he's an early riser as well, but with all that said, that's not why we're having Mark on the podcast.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_03: We're gonna have Mark on the podcast.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_03: We can learn about Mark's dad and how he's working hard to become that ultimate quarterback or leader of his household.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_03: Without further ado, uh Mark, welcome to the quarterback dad cast.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_03: Hey, Casey.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_03: Thanks for having me.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_03: Excited to be here.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_03: You bet, man.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_03: Well, we always start out each episode gratitude.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_03: So tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: Oh man, where do I start?
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I have four amazing, healthy, uh loving, perfect children that I'm just like through the roof.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: And uh extremely every day I wake up and I get to see their precious faces, uh, I am beyond grateful to be their dad.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_03: Love it.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_03: Uh what I'm grateful for is we're we're early June.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_03: This episode will come out here in maybe a month or so.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_03: I'm grateful for my early morning today, which is ironically, I'm talking to you.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and uh because I got after already, got my workout in, took the dogs for a walk, did a little core work.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_03: Um, we've already had a a bunch of bunch of meetings as well.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_03: I'm grateful for that schedule, but I'm also grateful because my kids are gonna be home.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_03: Like my son's gonna be home from college pretty soon.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and I'm grateful for the time we have my daughter because she's gonna be going off to college soon, and I'm gonna be an empty nester, which is scary to think about.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but it is what it is.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_03: That's the journey of life.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_03: But I'm grateful just for just staying as present as I can.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: Nice, that's awesome.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: I just brought my oldest back from college a few weeks ago, and my second oldest is going into her senior year, so she'll be going off.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: But I have two little ones that will I'm going through it again.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: They're seven and four, so I won't be empty empty nesters, but my two oldest, uh, they will soon both be out of the house.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: So I can commiserate with that feeling.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_03: There we go.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_03: Well, you've mentioned a little bit about the family.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_03: Bring me inside uh the boot and huddle.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_03: Uh I'd love to learn how you and your spouse met and then talk about uh a little bit about each member of the squad.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, that's awesome.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so me and my wife met through a mutual connection, uh, two friends.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: She was uh an up-and-coming nurse, so she had a preceptor in uh at the hospital, and I had a good friend that I had been friends with forever, and we were both coming out of different relationships, and each one of them was like, hey, these two should probably meet.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: So one day on my way home from work, uh, this is back when I had um a blackberry, pulled out my blackberry, and I was like, what do I got to lose?
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I dialed her up, and it was right around the Super Bowl time, and we had an amazing conversation.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, it was like I'd known her forever, and I on a whim invited her to the Super Bowl, and we went to the Super Bowl.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think we watched one play, and we just from there it just kept uh snowballing into uh where we are now.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_03: Very cool.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_03: And then talk about the the kids.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_03: What's what are each of them up to and where they're at in life?
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so uh like I said, I have four kids.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: My oldest is just turned 19.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: She just finished up her first year of college in Florida, and she is studying nursing.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: So that was the first one sending off to college, which um leading up to that was just heart-wrenching and um terrible.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm proud that I raised a daughter that feels confident and strong enough to move thousands of miles away to go to college.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_01: So proud, proud moment, but you know, on the other side, a little bit sad or a lot of it sad.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um second one in the pecking order is uh my 17-year-old.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like I said, she's a junior in high school and she's preparing for her senior year, and she just told me that she's leaning towards going down and joining her sister in Florida.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: So again, I'm gonna uh re-go through um the bringing some, you know, pulling out part of my heart and bringing another one down to Florida, but gives me an opportunity to vacation there a little bit more.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um so those are my two oldest ones and um my seven-year-old son.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's me and my seven-year-old son battling all these women in the house, um, which is amazing.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: He is the most energetic, creative, um, sports-driven person loving.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um, he's just an amazing kid, and I I love watching him grow and become himself.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: And he's just has a has a huge heart and a huge personality.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um, he's into baseball, hockey, soccer, uh, anything that took to do with sports from 5 30 in the morning until it's time for bed.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um, he's playing a sport, whatever the sport of the season is right now, is baseball.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_01: So he's amazing.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: And then my youngest is a four-year-old daughter, again.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: And she is um she is the spice of our family.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: She is has her own little mind.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: She is uh very artistic and creative, um, kind of like her brother wakes up playing sports, she wakes up uh doing art projects, and um they are super close.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: All of my kids are super close, even though there's a big big age gap.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it's really nice to see them together because um they just are loving and um they just they would rather hang out all together as a as a four unit and just do their own thing, and it's it just warms my heart.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_03: So good.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_03: I love hearing when their families are close.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_03: That's awesome.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_03: Now, are the your oldest and your second oldest are are they gonna be seminals like you are?
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um, well, we definitely we we definitely bleed garnet and gold.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: And uh my older oldest daughters and my son, I don't think Mila, my four-year-old, knows yet, but she will bleed garnet and gold.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_01: So um when we were doing our college, Maddie's college tour, we did a East Coast road trip.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: We started in Maine, drove down, ended in Tallahassee.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_01: We stopped along the way, but we stayed in Tallahassee for a few days and watched um the Florida State Miami game.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: It was a huge game, so I broke them in super hard.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, Florida State won that year, and they are we watch all the games and um planning on going back soon, another game.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: So, yes, we are all seminals, regardless if they go there or not.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_03: Love it.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_03: Love it.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_03: Um, all right, man.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_03: Well, this is why I always like to take the conversation towards you and walk me through or take me back in time to what was life like growing up for you.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_03: Um talk about the impact the mom and dad had on you as you reflect on the values that were instilled in you.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so I am the oldest of three.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I have a sister and a brother, and I'm six and seven years older than they are.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um, my dad was um, you know, he was the worker, you know, he had, and my mom stayed home with us.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, he had, you know, a couple jobs or however many jobs he needed to have to support the family so that my mom could stay home with us and you know do the mom thing.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: She was they're amazing parents.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: I I get my work ethic from my dad, you know, uh, I get my early rising from my dad.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: You know, if I get up um, you know, between three and four in the morning, and rest assured, I know if my phone goes off, it's one of two or three people, and usually it's my dad because we're up at the same time.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so that's that's where I get my work ethic.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: And then my mom is just the most uh loving, caring mom in the world, and she loves being a mom, and now she's a grandmother.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: I think I'm gonna I'm gonna butcher this count, but I think she's eight-time grandmother or something.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and she loves being a grandmother.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and she's just family is everything to um my parents, and that's you know, that's what's instilled in me is you know, family, family first above all else.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_01: What did dad do for his job?
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: Uh my dad, uh he is a mechanic.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um, he works in the trades.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: He worked uh as a mechanic all the way until he was in his, I think I was like in my twenties.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: He was in his 40s.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_01: My parents are a lot much younger.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: They had me early in life.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um now he's a business owner.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um he owns three uh mechanic shops uh in in Maine.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_01: So he's transitioned from, you know, doing the work.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, he still does the work, he's an entrepreneur, but now he owns, you know, numerous um mechanic shops in in Maine throughout Portland.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_01: And mom, like mom and dad still together?
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: Mom and dad are still together, still live in the house that we moved in.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: My dad built the house.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: Another example of my dad just being a workhorse.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: He built the house ground up all by himself, not a carpenter, just figured it out.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and he built it.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_01: I think we moved in when I was um seven, eight years old.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: Uh they still live there, and they actually we have a camp on the lake that we grew up by.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so now we go, you know, hang out at the lake.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, still together, still in the house we we grew up in and still uh see them on a regular basis.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_01: And are your siblings close by too?
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yep, my sister and brother.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: They're we're all within like 45 minutes of each other, which in Maine is not.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's that's just uh that's that's the norm.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, we're all close by.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_03: Um, besides work ethic, what other tell me the other values that were instilled in you?
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_03: And maybe if if it triggers a story of how you had to learn those.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so the one thing that um I thought was normal growing up and even as an adult, but I realized as I met different people, it's not normal, is um, and it seems small, but it's actually a big deal to me and family now, is eating dinner together.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um my dad would work late a lot, but regardless of what time he got home, um, or if if he was even there, we ate, whoever was home, we had dinner together.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: We would sit together, we would talk about our day, and then once dinner was over, we would sit there for as long as we there was no set time, but we would just sit around the table and talk, talk about our day, just everything.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: And and we would sometimes be at the dinner table, you know, for hours, and you know, when there were big events like birthdays or anniversaries or something, we had everybody over and we all gathered around the table and did the same thing.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_01: And um, I guess a story if you want one, I was a huge I loved attention as a as a child, so I would usually end up performing um for the family, and that could take many different um you know, many different angles or styles.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: You know, sometimes I was playing out a you know, hitting a home run with the bases loaded in the bottom of the ninth down by two and you know coming back to win win the game, or you know, sometimes it was a food fight, or you know, just being the goofy me and depending on who the audience was.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um my grandfather who's since passed, we always love to joke around, but you know, being around the dinner table at night with the family um was one thing that um I didn't know was going to be huge, but now it's the same thing now.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like regardless of who's here, what time, we sit around the table uh and eat together.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_01: And when it's all six six of us, that just like my heart is you know bursting with smiles.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_03: What um what kept you and your your siblings busy as kids?
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_03: What were the activities that you guys you guys loved as you reflect?
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so um sports for me, and it's uh it's a hard-learned lesson because or it's come full circle, not a hard-learned lesson.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_01: It's come full circle because when I was growing up, um, I played all the sports like my son.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_01: And uh I remember the summers once I got you know a little bit older, you know, my parents traveling, you know, around New England for, you know, all-stars baseball and you know, driving me here and there and everywhere.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I was, you know, I played baseball, uh, basketball up until my freshman year, and then I played football.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um football and baseball were my main sports, and that's what kept me busy.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_01: But much like my son, you know, we'd go to my grandmother's house and I'd be out back.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_01: They had a big house, and I would, you know, be tossing the ball against the you know, the side, the the garage, and you know, just using it as a pitchback fast forward.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_01: My son has a pitchback, that's what he does.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: But um, that's that that was my childhood.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_01: And unfortunately or fortunately, my brother and sister were along for the ride because they were six or seven years younger, so they you know, they were at all the the sporting events, and my brother played sports, and my sister was into dance for a while, so we were an active family.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_02: Nice.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_02: What did sports teach you?
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, sports, sports are amazing.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um sports taught me um companionship team teamwork, um competitiveness, camaraderie, um, discipline, um, you know, uh getting knocked down and and not staying down, getting back up.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, when I played, you know, I was the quarterback and we went from division um class B to class A in the state of Maine.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: Class A is the top class when I was a freshman and I started as a junior, and in class B, we were like top, top dog, right?
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_01: We were winning all the games.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_01: When we became class A, and then I started starting, um we were, you know, we were the body, we had to start over the the school, so we were bottom of the rung.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_01: The amount of sacks that I took in a season is just is not would not be cool for anybody.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_01: But regardless of how many times I got sacked, regardless of you know how many bumps or bruises I got back up, I got in the huddle, gathered a team, rallied everybody and said, okay, let's go to the line, let's do this.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so it was just like there's so many lifelong lessons that sports taught me that it's just um that's why I love seeing you know my daughters and my littles, you know, involved in in the sporting world.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, sports are are the best.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_03: There's a lot, I mean, there's so many life lessons.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_03: I and if I share this with you, but when we first first met, but I I uh my junior year, I uh I started my junior year, but my senior year, I broke my foot in four spots, would not play football my senior year.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_03: Um and the guy beat out my junior year, he'd go on to s to to play for us our senior year.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_03: He set passing yardage record, took us to the state playoffs, got named second team all the league, all the things I was supposed to do.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_03: One of the best things that ever happened to me because it taught me about true leadership, humility, um, asking for help, being vulnerable, being curious, things that drive me in my life now.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_03: And then fast forward the story 35 years later, my daughter, um, she's dealing with a torn ACL.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_03: She lost her senior year.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_04: Gotcha.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_03: And uh ironically or serendipitously, she's gonna go play basketball in college where I played football in college.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, no way.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_03: So it's kind of an interesting uh journey uh that life takes you through sometimes.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, sure.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_03: Don't wish my injury.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_03: I don't wish for her, but I know that it made me stronger, and I'm I'm just praying and hoping that uh it makes her stronger too.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, she's already showing signs of great resiliency, which I know will help her along in life um down the road.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_03: Nice.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_03: Um you you busy family, family's everything.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_03: Um were you always an early early riser though?
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_01: Uh yes, not as early as I am now.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_01: I think over the years it's like crept earlier and earlier, but for the most part, yes.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_01: I would always be up early and just start my day.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_01: I love the there's something about the morning that is like mysterious.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's all quiet, especially here in the winter on the east coast in the winter, you know, it's our our sunlight is less, so it's darker uh in the morning when I wake up.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I love the feeling of being awake in the morning before the rest of the world is up.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's dark, it's calm.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, there's just like I call it the dark calm piece.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just like I'm in my element, and um the reason I get up so early is I work out, and my goal is like I work out and I get my energy right, I get my mind right, and I get ready where everybody else, you know, is up and out of bed.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_01: So I've like I've woken up, I've enjoyed some silence, some me time, worked out, and now I'm ready to, you know, pour into the family that comes down over the stairs that needs to get ready for their day and get them off to uh you know a successful day.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_02: Do you go to bed early too?
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_02: I do.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_02: I do.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_02: Uh between eight and nine.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_01: Nine nine o'clock is late, you know, eight o'clock is I like to be in bed by eight and eyes closed by, you know, I can fall asleep.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_01: I can do a magic trick where I can fall asleep within seconds.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: So wow.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_03: I just started doing I usually was like a s well in my 30s, I would do like CrossFit at like 5 36.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_03: And then I went and then when I left corporate, I started working out my house.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_03: So I was I'd get up like six, six thirty work out, and then now I just kind of reintroduced the three days a week.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_03: I I do I call it old man kind of um circuit training with like three, four dudes, and it's great camaraderie, but we get up at uh we start at 5 30.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_03: Nice.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_03: And yeah, I like I like so like on m Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays, I'm in bed by nine.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's um, you know, there's you stay out of trouble that way, not that we get in trouble, but you know, it's you know, early to bed, early to rise.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I I've never, you know, even in college, you know, hey Mark, let's go out.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I'd go out, but like I'd rather be, you know, home and you know, watching a movie and then in bed because you know, I I like to get up early.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_03: Um, okay, so you graduate college, um, and then that you you find the finance world if I have this right.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_03: Tell me, tell me a little bit about that that journey.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so when we talked, you know, went to Florida State University and uh I majored in accounting in finance, so I had a double major so that I could get my CPA license.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_01: Graduated from Florida State in Tallahassee, then moved over to Jacksonville and worked for one of the big five, big four, which had just reduced from big five to big four because of Arthur Anderson, that's during the whole Enron crash.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I started as an auditor at KPMG, and it was it was an amazing experience.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, right out of college working for one of the biggest, you know, accounting firms um in the world, and the things you get to see and experience, you know, coming out, you think you're hot shot and you know everything, you just graduated, and all of a sudden you're sitting in front of an executive with you know 20 years experience, and you're like, oh, I I don't think I don't think I know as much as I I thought I knew.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_01: So you're you're drinking from a fire hydrant and you're getting another education, like right out of school, you're you're right back at it.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I while I was doing that, I was studying for the CPA exam and thankfully passed.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: So became a CPA, and then for the next you know, 20 or so years I was in the accounting world.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_01: I moved back to Maine after uh working for KPMG for a couple of years because I I'm from Maine and my family's here, and then I stayed in public, then eventually I got out and went into private accounting, and then from there just stayed in the accounting and finance world for the next 20 or so years.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_03: Now, did you have kids during that journey when you were working in finance?
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_03: I did.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_03: I did.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um, once we moved back to Maine, um, I had my first daughter, Madison, who's 19 now, as I was um I was still in public accounting at the time.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_03: So yes.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_03: And what were some of the challenges being a dad in that type of maybe kind of, you know, call it high stress job, I would think at times?
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_03: Like what was talk about some of the challenges of being a dad, but also being the best accountant you could be.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_01: So I mean, the first one I will say is you know, tongue in cheek, but I was losing my hair.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_01: So when I had my first daughter, um, I had I dealt with the challenge of like having to shave my head.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_01: So um, I say that one tongue in cheek.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_01: But um, I think you know, the challenge there's There's always challenges like you talked about earlier with your your injury and now your daughter's injury.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_01: So for me, it was you know transitioning from not just being me and my wife and the mom to okay, now we have a you know this new amazing human being in our life that we have to take care of.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_01: So I can't just get up, go to the gym, do my thing.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: I'm now like responsible for Madison and to give her the best life I can.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_01: So my work, I know a lot of people talk about work-life balance.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_01: That's a that's an interesting topic and terminology, but I did have to shift a lot of my priorities and just be more cognizant of my home life and be more present while still trying to be.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's why led me to you know being the early person so that I could do my workouts and you know be there for myself and pour into me because it can't pour from an empty cup.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_01: So you just had to, you know, I'd adjust my schedule so that I could do me, but also be the dad that I needed and wanted to be because I was mod, you know, I I had great parents that modeled being great parents.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_03: So then you you transition.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_03: Um talk about uh some of the the transition that that led you out of what you're doing and and what you're doing now.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so I stayed, I worked, you know, for um, you know, private companies up until about 2020, about 2020, um when I transitioned out and started working for myself.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um but the the journey started in 2019 when I had a brick in the head uh moment, I'll call it.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_01: I was on vacation with my family, and we were at my parents' camp on the lake, and we were there for the week.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_01: They had gone away, they'd let us use it.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_01: So we were there for the week, and it was my son's first birthday.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_01: So we were celebrating his birthday, and at the time I was working for a private equity firm that was acquiring the type of companies that I had historically worked for.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: And the whole time, you know, the first few days I was there, you know, I'd say to my wife, hey, like I I gotta step away, I gotta do this one thing, and then I gotta do this one thing, I'll be right back.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_02: And a few days in, she looked at me and very lovingly and said, Mark, you're not on vacation.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_01: And that hit me like a ton of bricks because that was like somebody holding a mirror up in front of me, and I realized that I wasn't being the dad and the husband that I strive to be.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_02: From that moment, I shut the laptop, I shut it down, and I transitioned into vacationing.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_01: But what I also did was think, what do I want to do?
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_01: I was 40, so I was like, what do I want to do from here on out?
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't have to, you know, hey, I gotta, I gotta go take care of this thing, I gotta go do this, I'll be right back.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_01: And that took me on the journey of you know getting into real estate and starting my own companies, which was a whole nother journey.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_01: But that was the you know, the moment that you know took me from working for somebody else into my own entrepreneurship journey.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_03: What what were the challenges?
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_03: Um, because that's I know we're kind of fast-tracking the story, and you said that you triggered memories when I went through and I left corporate after 20 years, and then this entrepreneurial journey found me.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_03: And even that, my wife was a godsend word, um, nicely coached me and when I was first getting into this space of coaching that I did not mean to do it, it found me.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_03: But as you went, as you I mean, I can imagine private equity, that's high stress.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_03: And then you it's it's most people can't just shut their laptop down.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_03: So, like, talk about that that journey a little bit more in detail of how did it impact you as of like trying to figure out what what what was the right decision for you, but also again, being as present as you could that might speak to another dad at home.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so that that journey, the the moment I shut the computer of saying, okay, I can't do this anymore, to you know, finding what would work for the dad and the husband that I wanted to be was um it was a lot of thinking.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember on that vacation, we had you know numerous days there left.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_01: My son would get up early before you know my wife and my older daughters, and I would throw him in the stroller.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: And it wasn't dark because it was summer, but it was still early.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_01: And we would walk up and down camp road, and I would just think, and I would just take the time to say, okay, you know, who do I want to be?
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_01: How am I gonna support my family?
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_01: Something has to change, and just really like holding that mirror up and coming to terms, because even though I had the brick in the forehead, that's that's the initial thought.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_01: But secondly, you have to come to terms with it.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_01: You have to really like say, okay, this is a decision I'm gonna make, and this is who I who I am currently, but this is also I want to be this person, and you have to find a way to bridge that gap.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_01: You have to build the bridge between like who I am to who I want to be.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that was the major work that I had to do.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I actually I helped, you know, men now say, you know, who am I now?
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_01: To like who do I want to be and help me cross that bridge.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_02: Tell me the hardest part about that journey for you.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I think it was, you know, I was 40.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_01: So a lot of times, you know, on social media, you see, you know, people your age or even people younger than you, and they're driving these fancy sports cars and they have the big houses and they're on vacation.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I think there's a stigma around, you know, there's a certain timeline that you have to travel to become successful.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_01: So I think one of the harder parts for me was realizing I was 40 and I felt like I was starting over, whereas, you know, internally there was a feeling of I should already, you know, I should already have a lot of this stuff and have been doing this stuff.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_01: But I felt like, man, I'm I'm really far down this path.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: Am I too old to like start this over and and create another identity for myself and start a new path and do all these things?
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um that that's a really hard pill to swallow in today's society of you know, trying to keep up to a uh a timeline that is just made up.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, these are stories that we tell ourselves, and sometimes people choose hero, some people choose victim.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_03: But I can't I think I have this quote right.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_03: So I comparison's a thief of joy.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_03: And there's a lot of things I love about social media, but there's a lot of things I absolutely hate about social media, and I just I I really hold myself to um uh challenge myself often.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_03: The only time I ever get on the thing sometimes is after I read in bed, and so I'll watch like YouTube golf or something.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_03: I just not gonna scroll through Instagram and look all these things because I found that even when I started my my speaking journey, sometimes I'd see my friends like people who doing similar work, they're like, they're going to all these, all these amazing places.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_03: And I really just then I had I had to come to Jesus, I was like, I don't want I don't want that.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_03: I traveled my ass off in corporate for years, and I don't want to be in eight cities for the month in all these and away from my kids.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_03: That does not sound like success to me.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_03: Now I'm not passing judgment on them.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_03: I if that's what makes them happy, awesome, you do you.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_03: But for me, I'm 50 now, I'm like, I want to be when I travel, it's like very strategic.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_03: Try to be in and out.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_03: Um, because I don't know, I to me like that you mentioned earlier about you know having these family dinners, those are important to us as well in our house and with no phones at the dinner table.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, no, definitely no phones at our dinner table.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_03: Um how so so talk about how did you you you transition as out of this thing.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_03: Well, actually, before I go to that, have you have you heard about the book called The Second Mountain?
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_03: I have not.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_03: I'm I forgot the author's name, but uh when you said that, and there might be parents at home or dads listening to be like, how can I do this?
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_03: What meant I I left corporate after 20, 20 years, 23 years, whatever.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_03: I've I'm climbing my second mountain.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know what it is, but I found a completely different career in leadership, consulting, coaching, speaking, author.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I didn't mean to do this.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, it kind of meant the author part, but I didn't mean to get me at the coaching speaking, but it's a loving it.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_03: Blast.
• 30:25
  unknown: Yeah.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_03: So, and it looks like you're thriving as well.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_03: And I mean, there's dads and moms you listen.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_03: Like, you either can tell yourselves these stories don't exist, or you can surround yourself with people who've already done it and ask for help and try to figure out a way to do it.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_00: Hey everyone, my name is Blaise Basel, and I hope you're enjoying today's episode of the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_00: In case you're wondering, I'm a fellow dad and also the president of Kelly Mitchell.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_00: Kelly Mitchell is an employee-owned technology solutions firm, and we help organizations solve complex business challenges.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_00: I think at the end of the day, we're we're focused on our team doing work that matters for our clients.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_00: And that's because the way you show up matters, the way you treat people, clients, teammates, really everyone.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_00: That shapes the experience and the results that follow.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_00: I think similarly, Casey has had a real impact on our team internally at Kelly Mitchell.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_00: He spent time with us most recently in St.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_00: Louis with our sales team.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_00: And while he was there, he asked a question that really stuck with me.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_00: And that was do you believe that what you do matters?
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_00: That question stayed with us.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's changed how we approach our day-to-day, how we prepare, how we communicate, and ultimately how we follow through.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_00: That's why the experience Casey brings to his customers has made such an impact.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_00: Because whether when people believe their work matters, everything works better across the team, with our clients, and definitely in results.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_00: So we appreciate you, Casey.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_00: And now back to the podcast.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_03: So, like for you, like talk about uh how did the wide world of coaching what you're doing now find you?
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, after I spent a lot of you know, laps up and down the the camp road, I started investing in real estate.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_01: And then I did that for a while, built a good portfolio, and then I started two businesses in the same year.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_01: I started a trash collection business, started an accounting company.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_01: So for three years from 2022 to 2025, I grew a trash company, I grew the accounting company, and through that time, I I had said yes.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_01: When you when you get that freeing feeling of you know working for somebody else and then being an entrepreneur, opportunities come your way.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_01: And everything that came my way, I was like, yes, yes, yes.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_01: Well, this crazy thing happens when like you say yes too much, you can say yes too much.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_01: And in 2025, my plate was overflowing.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_01: And basically what happened was I was pouring all my time, energy, effort into real estate, the two companies, and um things started, you know, to take the turn of like chaos.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I had a lot of you know, businesses were you know having challenges, um, you know, was having some challenges at home because I was, you know, putting a lot of time into the businesses because it was our livelihood.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_01: So um I went through 2025 and I just anything that could go wrong went wrong.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_01: But the one mainstay in my life that held me together personally, uh physically, mentally, and sanity-wise was my morning routine and my gym, my gym workouts.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_01: So I get through, I I knew that I need to change something.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_01: I ended up, long story short, selling both companies in December of 2025.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I realized right then that I would never want to experience that type of chaos in my life again.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I never want to see somebody else experiencing that kind of chaos in their life because there is hope, there is a better way, and that's what thrust me into helping other high-performing and men and entrepreneurs to, you know, win, win the morning, win the day, and regain their control of their daily life.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_03: So when you say that, it's like there there might be a dad at home that's telling himself a story right now that says that maybe his on accent would call someone else.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_03: I mean this is a nicely waved dad's their ego might be in the way.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_03: They'll be saying, dude, I can't do that.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_03: F that.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_03: Like, how did talk about how did you keep your ego at bay and to be able to like because that that to me their perception could be like, oh man, dude failed.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_03: No, he didn't.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_03: He succeeded because he was vulnerable enough to say, This is not the life for me.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_03: Which I think is fantastic.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_03: He did that.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_03: Like, so how how did you so we can maybe try to give dads actionable things to be thinking about at home?
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_03: How did you talk about how did you get to that mindset of getting clarity so that you could you know be comfortable saying, listen, this is not for me anymore, right?
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_03: Something else is out there.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think there's a couple things.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_01: So um you mentioned it earlier, but I got into different rooms.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_01: I started surrounding myself with um men and women that had you know were high performers and had achieved some things that I wanted to achieve.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_01: So I changed my environment first and most first of all, first and foremost.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um I hired a coach.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_01: I got into a group coaching program, and that's how I met um Chris Mater.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_01: So uh, and that room is just filled with you know just amazing people doing awesome things.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_01: And then what I did was I I created this um framework, it's called the Boom Morning, that I run every day, you know, during you know, 2025 and still to this day I run the boom warning.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_01: And basically, it's a morning routine that sets me up for success for the rest of the day because what I realized was that was happening in my life was I would wake up and I would feel behind the eight ball before my feet even hit the ground.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_01: You know, sometimes I was laying in bed, you know, one or two in the morning.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_01: How am I gonna make payroll?
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_01: How am I gonna solve this problem?
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_01: You know, this person's underperforming, uh, this is an unhappy client, and my head would just be spinning.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_01: So what I realized was I needed to set myself up for success first thing in the morning so that no matter what happened after that morning routine, it just felt like, you know, fish in a barrel, right?
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_01: I did some hard stuff first thing in the morning, and then anything up, anything else that came up during the day, it was just like I already, I already have some wins logged in the in the book.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, I'm just gonna continue to log some wins and tackle these challenges.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_03: Can you share a little bit, not without giving too much of your secrets away, but like maybe talk about where you how you came up with that acronym and and how people can learn more about you and the work you're doing?
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, 100%.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I and I'll offer this to you know any of the listeners out there, if they want to message me um the word boom on either LinkedIn or Instagram, I'd happily send them my framework.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_01: But basically, what it is, it's short for body, others first, uh, orientation, and then meaningful work.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_01: So first one, body.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_01: Uh wake up, move your body, uh, gym, run, whatever your your movement is, uh, you do that first.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_01: And then, like I said, you get ready, and then others.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_01: Pour into your family.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_01: That's that's why we're here, right?
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_01: Like we're we're dads, we're moms, like we we're here, we created the family, not by mistake, but on purpose.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_01: So pour into them, set them up for success, give them breakfast, love them, hug them, whatever they need, set them up so when you send them off to their day, school, or whatever, they're gonna rock their day.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_01: Then you go into orientation.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_01: I sit down with my cup of coffee, I pull out my journal, and I start journaling.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_01: I have prompts and I get everything that's in my head out on paper because once you do that, it's less scary if you have scary thoughts in your head.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_01: Just lay it all out black and white, you can't argue with that.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_01: And then the last one is you transition right into meaningful work before you open your email, before you open Slack, or any instant messages, go into meaningful work.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_01: Pick your most important project, pull that out, and give it, you know, 60 to 90 minutes of deep work.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_01: If you do that, I guarantee you, like you will feel so grounded and so successful before, you know, nine o'clock in the morning.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_03: And what could be like baby steps if someone's feeling like, oh my god, that's just that's too much?
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_03: Like what could be some baby steps that might uh might help someone get there?
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, that's that's a great point because a lot of times we try to um, you know, we try to eat the elephant in in one bite.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's um I think it's chunking it down into littler, you know, the workout, it doesn't need to be an hour, it doesn't need to be 45 minutes.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_01: Get up, go through like a five-minute stretching routine to start, you know, because I guarantee, like I've heard someone say, you know, oh, you want to go to the gym, you want to start a gym routine?
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, go to the gym and do for five minutes.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_01: You're never gonna go to the gym for just five minutes, but you want to chunk it down, get up five minutes earlier, stretch, move your body, get the blood flowing, drink, drink your water, get that down the hatch.
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_01: Then spending time with your family.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_01: I bet people are doing that anyways, but be more intentional about it.
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_01: Put the phone away, don't check your emails, don't be on Slack trying to get ahead, be intentional, pour into those your your kids, your wife before.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_01: And that doesn't have to be a long process.
• 39:59
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of family time in the morning is is pretty short, and and that's fine.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_01: The orientation and the the my the meaningful work, start slow.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_01: Just open a journal.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_01: I do I have some prompts, but you can start with like one prompt.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_01: What am I grateful for?
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_01: Start the day with your gratitude with gratitude, just like we did this podcast, and then go right into your um your meaningful work.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_01: We all have special projects and important projects, then go work on that.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_01: But by chunking it down and just taking like five minutes or 10 minutes on each one of these things, you're building the muscle.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's just like going to the gym, but you're building these muscles, and over time, you'll start to feel better and you can start to expand, you know, from five, ten to fifteen minutes, and then you'll work into your you know your perfect week schedule, which I teach people as well.
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_03: Love it.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I feel like I had a boom morning today already, brother.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_03: I I got up.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_03: Sounded like it.
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_03: I um it's funny.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_03: When when I journal, one of the things I was talking to a customer, a client this morning about like journaling, and and he goes, I woke up, I go, It's funny you say that, man.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_03: I said, That's one of the first things I write, right?
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_03: God, thanks for waking me up today.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_02: Mm-hmm.
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, just that alone, I'm like, it puts me in a spot of okay, well, at least I can I'm I'm I'm here, I'm present, I can go do something.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_03: And um, when you talk about you know, or serving others, like one of my favorite things I um I love doing when my daughter goes to school, um, she's a senior, but you know, but it's kind of cute.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_03: Like all we have an eight-month-old puppy and a golden retriever and a four-year-old golden retriever iron setter.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_03: That's hilarious too.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_03: And so I always we we for some reason when my kids were young, they call me C Dog, I call them our dog.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_03: I go, come on, guys, let's say go out, our dog.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_03: And I literally go sit on the steps of the garage, open the garage door, and then the puppy, she's now like 45, 50 pounds, she jumps up on my lap, sits, and looks at the car.
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_03: And Riley, when she's back in the car, and then my the big one, she comes up and sits right next, like literally is on top of me, and with this, and I grabbed their paws and I waved at my daughter as she's leaving the garage.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_02: That's awesome.
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_03: It just like it's but it's like it's habit.
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_03: And I think just like we're talking about, habits are what changes our outcomes.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_03: Um, you can have all the goals in the world, and you can fill your mind with these anxiety-ridden words like need to, should do, want to, have to, or can't.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_03: And my work I do, uh, Mark, I teach the power by will.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_03: And um, when you write it down, and just again, I love that you said start small.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_03: Like if you're a dad listening and like, oh my god, it sounds like a lot.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_03: Do five push-ups tomorrow.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_03: That maybe might be more than you did today.
• 42:29
  SPEAKER_03: And then the next day do six.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_01: The power of, you know, the power of compounding is you know, is an amazing thing.
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_01: You literally start small, yeah, and to your point, like you build these tiny habits, you know, it's called habit stacking.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you start with one tiny habit and you just like over time they become they're scary in the beginning because it's a new habit.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_01: But if you start super small, and even with like you know, five push-ups, one grateful uh morning routine with your kids, and then right into your most important work, like those, you know, the first three, that doesn't even have to be a half an hour to start.
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_01: But if once you start building those habits, they start compounding and they start, you know, you get momentum.
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's like the ripple effect.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_01: Throw a rock in the in the lake, you know, it it ripples out, it starts to affect everything in your life.
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_01: And and it it really is about starting, and you can keep it small and it will make a difference.
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_03: Someone shared this phrase, and I actually share a lot of my clients.
• 43:25
  SPEAKER_03: I say, Don't let the start stop you.
• 43:27
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_01: I just heard that I've I've heard that too, yeah.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_03: I love that phrase.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_03: I love that phrase because it's like so easy not to start, but I mean might might as well, you know.
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm the way that I look at it is time is gonna pass anyways, right?
• 43:42
  SPEAKER_01: So you might as well start because whether you take uh take initiative to change something or not, the days and weeks are gonna pass by anyways.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we and everybody gets the same amount of time 1440 minutes a day.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_03: No one gets more, no one gets less.
• 43:57
  SPEAKER_03: So that's right.
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_03: Um Okay, this is awesome, Mark.
• 44:01
  SPEAKER_03: So one question I like asking dads that to kind of like make it r as relatable as we can to dads at home is like if you can, and I'm more I'm ha more than happy to share as well, like talk about an area of your dad game that you've definitely been vulnerable enough to share some ups and downs, but like talk about area an area about your dad game that maybe is not where you want it, but you're you're you're open enough to honest to say, man, this is an area that I know I can work on um that might speak to another dad at home.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_03: Mine, I'll go first to make it easy on you.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_03: Mine's is just constantly checking my patience, not letting my competitive spirit um get the best of me and just keeping my patience, working on that.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_03: And it's a it's being a lifelong thing I'll be always working on, but um making sure I don't respond, you know, react, like be thoughtful and think it's respond.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_02: So tell me what what comes to mind for you?
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think it's it's two things.
• 44:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um definitely the patience, because I have older daughters and then I have the the younger kids.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_01: And having older daughters, you know, they're self-sufficient, you know, they they're driving, they're getting ready, they're doing all the things by themselves.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_01: Rewind to my little ones um in the morning as soon as the you know he feet hit the floor, you know, I'm thirsty, I'm hungry, I need a spoon, I need a fork, oh I spilt something.
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's it's a non-stop barrage, like it's a machine gun of requests.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_01: And it's some you know, transitioning between the olders and the little can be challenging because they're so self-sufficient, but with the littles, it it's always something.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_01: And then for some godforsaken reason, bedtime is just like the the crazies come out at bedtime.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_01: So like staying calm and present and and not overreacting when something goes wrong.
• 45:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I say all that because of the second reason is because of kids, and I in real life study, even though I didn't know it was going to be one, kids watch you and will do what you do more so than what you say.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_01: And that's a huge thing that I always keep in my mind because my two older daughters, um, I've worked out forever, and I've never once pushed fitness on them or a morning routine.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_01: Fast forward to 19 and 17.
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_01: They both get up before school, go to the gym, work out, get ready for their day, just like their dad, just like they've seen their dad do for all these years.
• 46:25
  SPEAKER_01: But I never once said, hey guys, you should try this.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_01: They just watched me do it and they saw how good it made me feel and how successful I was.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_01: So they started it.
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_01: So when I think about my little kids, I'm always checking myself, what am I doing right now that they're watching that they're going to do when they're 19 and 17?
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I try to make sure that whatever I'm doing, that I am would be okay with them doing when they're 19 and 17.
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's good, ma'am.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_02: That's good.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_03: Well, as we get ready to wrap up here, Mark, if you had to summarize the things we talked about today, maybe in three actionable call it nuggets of wisdom or themes that dads or moms could take from our conversation today to kind of apply in their own life to be that ultimate um leader of their home.
• 47:12
  SPEAKER_03: Tell me what comes to mind.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um, well, I would definitely like to say grateful.
• 47:18
  SPEAKER_01: We started the podcast with that.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_01: One thing I didn't add is when we sit at dinner at night, we go around and we do grateful.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_01: We all mention at least three things that we're grateful for in our day.
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um so be grateful.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_02: It'll ground you and just make you feel better.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_02: Um the second thing is um just start.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um it's really about starting, holding the mirror up, having that come to Jesus, and taking, you know, the first step.
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_01: We all as babies took the first step and we had faith that it was going to work, so we kept taking those steps.
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_01: And as adults, we need to remember that and to always like take that first step, and then we can do more.
• 47:57
  SPEAKER_02: And the third, this is a hard one because I'm not great at it, but and I'll get emotional with it.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_02: Be vulnerable and ask for help.
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_01: I'm the worst at being vulnerable and asking for help.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but we're not in this world alone, we're in this together and we're made to help each other.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_01: Don't be so ashamed of your current situation that you won't ask somebody else for help.
• 48:23
  SPEAKER_02: There's a ton of people out there that care, love for you, and will help you.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_03: Vulnerability is one of my favorite, favorite, favorite things.
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and I love that you shared that mine.
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_03: Uh I I call this my HVC flywheel, which is when when you surround yourself with traits and themes of humility, vulnerability, and curiosity, it creates a flywheel of positive momentum.
• 48:47
  SPEAKER_03: It keeps our egos at check, it removes fear, it instills more confidence.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and then everybody needs help.
• 48:54
  SPEAKER_03: So go first.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_03: And I I I mean, like in like the world coaching I do, I I love telling my clients where I suck or where I've struggled or where I've failed recently just to disarm them.
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_03: So it's like, listen, we're we all are flawed human beings.
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_03: That's the one thing we have in common.
• 49:10
  SPEAKER_03: So um, how can how can we make it easy, Mark, for people to find you?
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_03: What's the easiest way I can I can make people learn more about you and the work you're doing?
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, uh on social, I'm most active on LinkedIn and Instagram.
• 49:23
  SPEAKER_01: LinkedIn, Mark Bootin.
• 49:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um, see my handsome mug.
• 49:27
  SPEAKER_01: Or you can't, viewers can't see me now, but uh black shirt bald hair, bald guy.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_01: And on Instagram at MarkButton, uh, I'm active on there.
• 49:36
  SPEAKER_01: And then I can, if you want to put in the show notes, I'll drop my email and people are happy to email me.
• 49:41
  SPEAKER_01: But um love connecting with people, I love talking with people, and um here for anybody that needs that help.
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_03: Love it.
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_03: We'll make sure that's all tagged in the show notes, make sure it's easy for people to find you.
• 49:55
  SPEAKER_03: Um and everybody, it's it's B-O-U-T-I-N.
• 49:58
  SPEAKER_03: So find Mark Boten on Instagram, follow him, um, check out his his boom uh morning.
• 50:05
  SPEAKER_03: Um we'll we'll make sure his email is in there as well so you guys can connect to them and learn more.
• 50:09
  SPEAKER_03: And make sure you message him, let him know you found him through the quarterback dag so that we know this is uh is working.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_03: Mark, it's now time to go into the lightning round where I completely go random.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_03: I show you the negative hits of taking too many hits in college, not bong hits, but football hits.
• 50:23
  SPEAKER_03: Uh I took quarterback too, so I've had a few concussions back in the day.
• 50:27
  SPEAKER_03: Uh your job is to answer these questions as quickly as you can, and my job is to try to ask you just random shit to make you laugh.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 50:36
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 50:37
  SPEAKER_03: Uh true or false, you went to Florida State on a full ride gymnastic scholarship.
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_03: False.
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_02: Uh true or false, when you first met Chris Mater, he was wearing a subito.
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_02: True.
• 50:51
  SPEAKER_03: False.
• 50:53
  SPEAKER_03: I just laughed at my own joke.
• 50:54
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, it's bad.
• 50:55
  SPEAKER_03: Dad joke.
• 50:56
  SPEAKER_03: Um if you were to take your bride on vacation right now, no kids, where are you taking her?
• 51:02
  SPEAKER_03: Uh somewhere tropical.
• 51:04
  SPEAKER_03: Cabo.
• 51:05
  SPEAKER_02: I love a big cabo fan.
• 51:07
  SPEAKER_02: Uh last book you read was Never Enough.
• 51:11
  SPEAKER_02: From Barista to Billionaire.
• 51:13
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I like that.
• 51:15
  SPEAKER_03: I was a former barista back in the day, believe it or not.
• 51:18
  SPEAKER_03: Um, what would be one genre of music that might surprise people you listen to?
• 51:24
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I'm actually pretty open.
• 51:27
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I do the country rap.
• 51:29
  SPEAKER_03: I do rap.
• 51:31
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, nice.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_03: Um, favorite comedy movie of all time is.
• 51:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I'm not a huge movie guy.
• 51:42
  SPEAKER_01: Wolf on Wall Street.
• 51:43
  SPEAKER_01: That's not a comedy, but Wolf on Wall Street is my favorite.
• 51:46
  SPEAKER_01: The Hangover.
• 51:47
  SPEAKER_01: There we go.
• 51:48
  SPEAKER_03: Hangover's a good one.
• 51:49
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 51:49
  SPEAKER_03: I can uh you know remember Stu's song?
• 51:52
  SPEAKER_03: What Do Tigers Dream of?
• 51:54
  SPEAKER_03: When they take a little tiny snooze?
• 51:56
  SPEAKER_03: I can play it on if you're random facts, everybody belonged on Jeopardy.
• 52:00
  SPEAKER_03: I can play that on the guitar.
• 52:02
  SPEAKER_03: Meaningless talents.
• 52:05
  SPEAKER_03: Uh if there was to be a book written about your life, Mark, tell me the title.
• 52:10
  SPEAKER_02: Um Never Give Up.
• 52:13
  SPEAKER_03: Never give up.
• 52:14
  SPEAKER_03: All right.
• 52:15
  SPEAKER_03: Now, Mark, never give up.
• 52:17
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I tried to go to Amazon, sold out.
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_03: I went to Barnes Noble, sold out.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_03: I went to the airport when I was traveling recently, sold out.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_03: And then I heard that Netflix is gonna make a movie about Never Give Up.
• 52:28
  SPEAKER_03: So now you have been named the casting director.
• 52:30
  SPEAKER_03: I need to know who's gonna star Mark Boot in this critically acclaimed hit new movie.
• 52:35
  SPEAKER_03: The Rock.
• 52:36
  SPEAKER_03: The Rock.
• 52:37
  SPEAKER_03: There we go.
• 52:40
  SPEAKER_03: All right, and then last the most important tough question.
• 52:43
  SPEAKER_03: Tell me two words that would describe your wife.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_02: Uh beautiful and endlessly patient with me.
• 52:54
  SPEAKER_03: That was hyphenated if you can get two second words out.
• 52:59
  SPEAKER_03: Lighting round's complete.
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_03: We both giggled.
• 53:01
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, I giggled more at my own jokes, which means I lose you, man.
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_03: Um it's an honor spending time with you, Mater.
• 53:07
  SPEAKER_03: Thanks for making this happen, buddy.
• 53:09
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I appreciate what you're doing, man.
• 53:11
  SPEAKER_03: I appreciate the vulnerability of the stories.
• 53:13
  SPEAKER_03: And I hope that there's one thing too that people take from us is that um just you might be in a job you don't like.
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_03: That's okay.
• 53:21
  SPEAKER_03: Go do something about it.
• 53:23
  SPEAKER_03: Like we are both.
• 53:24
  SPEAKER_03: I loved my job when I was there for 20 years, but it was that voice in my head kept getting louder and louder and louder, and I didn't know what was next, but I found my calling.
• 53:32
  SPEAKER_03: And um, if you don't, if you don't have that voice in your head, go ask for help.
• 53:35
  SPEAKER_03: Like Mark said, be vulnerable.
• 53:37
  SPEAKER_03: Call a friend, call a call a buddy.
• 53:39
  SPEAKER_03: You don't need a podcast to have conversations like these.
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_03: And every time I get done uh interviewing a dad, someone who I don't know, I feel like I just went through third.
• 53:47
  SPEAKER_03: So um, Mark, we'll make sure everything's tagged in the show notes, brother.
• 53:51
  SPEAKER_03: I appreciate you.
• 53:52
  SPEAKER_03: And uh hopefully our paths will cross one day if I'm up in the main area, buddy.
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_03: Let's make it happen.
• 53:58
  SPEAKER_03: I would love that.
• 53:59
  SPEAKER_03: Awesome.
• 54:02
  SPEAKER_03: Well, thank you again, everybody, for listening to this week's episode.
• 54:05
  SPEAKER_03: And a huge favor now, if you have enjoyed this podcast, please, wherever you just listen to it, go into the your phone, the computer, and click on reviews and leave us a review, leave us a rating, hopefully five stars if you if you like it a lot, which will help us be easily to be found by new listeners that are gonna be wanting to learn more about the quarterback deck, learn about ways they can become an ultimate quarterback or leader of their household.
• 54:29
  SPEAKER_03: And even better yet, if this episode touched you, please share it with a friend.
• 54:32
  SPEAKER_03: Uh find another episode that you liked, share that episode with a friend.
• 54:35
  SPEAKER_03: We're gonna continue to keep growing this thing in quest to get to a thousand dads.
• 54:40
  SPEAKER_03: So I appreciate you uh continuing to listen each and every week.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_03: And thank you again for all your support and wish you uh a great rest of your day.
• 54:46
  SPEAKER_03: And we can't wait to see you next week.
• 54:47
  SPEAKER_03: See you everybody.