Latest / The Humanistic Leader Podcast- Dr. Craig Nathanson / Who Are You Quietly Becoming?

Transcript

Who Are You Quietly Becoming? · The Humanistic Leader Podcast- Dr. Craig Nathanson

• 0:00
  Welcome back. If we were sitting together on our park bench this morning,
• 0:05
  I might ask you a simple question.
• 0:07
  Who are you becoming?
• 0:10
  It's funny, if someone had asked me that question when I was 30,
• 0:13
  I probably would have answered with a job title.
• 0:16
  At 40, maybe I would have talked about success. At 50, perhaps I would have
• 0:22
  talked about accomplishments.
• 0:24
  But somewhere along the way, I realized that those aren't really answers to
• 0:29
  the question They're answers to a different question Who are you becoming isn't about,
• 0:36
  you know, what you're collecting It's about who is slowly emerging underneath
• 0:40
  everything you're doing.
• 0:43
  Not who you hope to become someday Not who you used to be Who are you quietly becoming right now?
• 0:53
  It's an interesting question because most of us, I find, spend our lives measuring progress.
• 0:59
  We weigh ourselves, we count our steps, we watch our bank accounts,
• 1:05
  we measure promotions, grades, followers, and accomplishments.
• 1:10
  We're always looking for proof that, you know, something is changing.
• 1:14
  But I wonder if the most important changes in our lives are the ones we can't measure at all.
• 1:21
  Maybe the person you're becoming isn't visible yet Maybe it's simply unfolding,
• 1:28
  One ordinary day at a time.
• 1:32
  You know, outside my office there's a palm tree And I used to look at it and
• 1:38
  become impatient Like, you know, when is it going to grow tall?
• 1:42
  And I always admired, you know, this palm tree But I always hoped it would grow faster,
• 1:48
  Recently I looked out the window And to my surprise, I realized how enormous
• 1:53
  it had become And I realized it became enormous, it grew,
• 1:59
  You know, when I wasn't paying attention So that experience,
• 2:03
  you know, really stayed with me The tree wasn't trying harder to grow It wasn't
• 2:08
  checking its progress every morning,
• 2:11
  It simply kept growing, quietly,
• 2:13
  patiently, one day at a time And maybe people just aren't so different I think
• 2:20
  about all the moments when we become discouraged because we don't feel different,
• 2:25
  We don't feel wiser, healthier,
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  maybe kinder, more confident We assume that because we can't feel the change,
• 2:33
  you know, it's not happening But perhaps growth doesn't work that way Perhaps
• 2:38
  real growth is almost invisible while we're living it,
• 2:42
  It made me wonder how many things in our lives are,
• 2:45
  you know, growing that way a friendship, a marriage,
• 2:50
  our confidence, maybe our wisdom.
• 2:54
  Maybe even forgiveness. None of them announce themselves.
• 2:59
  One day you simply realize you become someone who reacts differently than you used to.
• 3:06
  You listen a little longer. You worry a little less. You smile a little easier.
• 3:14
  And the change didn't happen yesterday. It happened, you know,
• 3:16
  quietly while you were busy living.
• 3:19
  In the last couple of years, I've been recovering from back pain, and.
• 3:29
  My wife has really worked with me a lot on the idea of core exercises,
• 3:33
  and it's, you know, it's really helped me.
• 3:37
  I started, you know, walking more instead of jogging.
• 3:41
  You know, these tiny improvements that seemed sort of insignificant at the time,
• 3:47
  until one day I realized that, you know, my pain had disappeared.
• 3:51
  There wasn't like one magical workout. There wasn't one perfect day.
• 3:56
  There wasn't one breakthrough.
• 3:59
  There were just simply hundreds of, you know, small decisions.
• 4:02
  And, you know, small decisions, I find, have a funny way of becoming big changes.
• 4:08
  The same thing is true for, you know, our relationships, for careers, for our health.
• 4:15
  Even for our character.
• 4:18
  Every conversation, I think, changes us a little.
• 4:22
  Every book leaves something behind. Every act of kindness quietly shapes the
• 4:26
  person we'll become tomorrow.
• 4:28
  That's one reason I've been thinking so much about what it means to live deeply
• 4:32
  human in a world that keeps asking us to move faster.
• 4:37
  Technology celebrates speed, and our souls, though, rarely do.
• 4:42
  Some of the best parts of being human happen slowly.
• 4:46
  Trust, wisdom, friendship, compassion, patience.
• 4:53
  You can't rush any of them.
• 4:56
  I'm writing a new book now, and I'm almost finished.
• 4:59
  But when I started, I just, you know, wrote one page a day, maybe one page every
• 5:06
  other day, a little bit at a time.
• 5:08
  Most mornings didn't feel that dramatic. Yet looking back, I see that a new
• 5:13
  book has slowly emerged.
• 5:16
  And so my writing has reminded me of something, that most meaningful work doesn't
• 5:21
  happen all at once, it accumulates.
• 5:24
  You know, a paragraph today, a conversation and tomorrow, maybe a lesson learned next week.
• 5:30
  Eventually, those moments become a life. Maybe that's why we become frustrated.
• 5:36
  We're watching today's paragraph instead of tomorrow's book.
• 5:41
  We're staring at today's branch instead of next year's tree.
• 5:44
  We're judging today's workout instead of next year's health.
• 5:48
  Maybe we're simply standing too close to our own lives to see how much we've already grown.
• 5:55
  Today, before you rush into the rest of your day, take five quiet minutes.
• 6:02
  Ask yourself, what has changed in me over the last year?
• 6:07
  Not, you know, what have I achieved, but what has changed in me over the last
• 6:12
  year? What has softened?
• 6:14
  What has strengthened?
• 6:17
  What have I learned to maybe let go of What have I finally learned to hold on
• 6:23
  to I think you'll discover something beautiful.
• 6:29
  You see, the person you're waiting to become has already begun arriving.
• 6:35
  So today I'd like to leave you with one question. Instead of asking yourself, am I there yet?
• 6:43
  Try asking, who am I quietly becoming?
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  Because if you show up with kindness, if you stay curious, if you keep learning,
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  If you care for the people around you If you make one small decision each day
• 6:59
  That moves your life in a better direction,
• 7:02
  Something remarkable is happening Even if you can't see it yet The person you're
• 7:08
  quietly becoming is already taking shape Quietly Patiently One ordinary day At a time,
• 7:18
  Thanks for sitting with me today Until next time, take good care of yourself,
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  Perhaps, even more importantly,
• 7:26
  take good care of the person you're quietly becoming.