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Here are some things narcissists can't do · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What's going on, beautiful people.
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  Today we're going to be talking about things that my personality
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  disorder, things that my narcissism has made me do or
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  made it harder for me to do. I'm going to just tell you
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  things that I feel like I have no control over or things that
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  I've had to work on to get to get control over.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist and welcome to another episode of
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  The Narcissist Code. Welcome back folks.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Yes, Things that my narcissism has made me do.
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  I'm not responsible for my actions.
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  The narcissism made me do it. The narcissistic demon that's
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  inside of me made me do it. No, but I'm when I'm doing my
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  one on ones over zoom and whatnot, right when I'm zooming,
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  I call it zooming. Right when I'm zooming, I'm
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  doing things over zoom and whatnot.
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  One thing I tell people is that, like, some things, because I
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  have a personality disorder, some things I feel like I have
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  not like the narcissism pushes me to do certain things, like
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  the personality disorder, like the narcissistic part of me
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  pushes me to do certain things. And it makes it very difficult
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  for me to do other things, right?
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  Of course, one of the main things that my personality
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  disorder or the narcissism has made me do, has made me do is
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  like, literally it's made it harder for me to show gratitude.
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  It. Yeah.
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  And it it's crazy. And this could be true for a lot
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  of narcissists, not just me, myself.
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  And I Right, it's made it very difficult for me to show
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  gratitude to, to feel gratitude for anything, not necessarily,
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  not necessarily not to feel it, but to show it, to express
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  gratitude to people like to be thankful that somebody has done
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  something for me. Like to be to be truly grateful
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  that somebody has got me a gift or somebody has went out, went
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  out, went out of their way to help me instead of gratitude.
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  The narcissistic part of me I feel like has made me express
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  entitlement instead of gratitude is replaced with entitlement.
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  Like I'm you're supposed to do this for me.
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  Like you're you're my wife, you're my husband, you're this
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  person, you're my friend, you're my brother, you my sister, you
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  my teacher, you're my mom, you my dad.
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  You're supposed to do this for me like because I'm entitled to
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  it. Like the narcissistic part of me
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  has made me feel extremely entitled to a lot of things in
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  my life. It has made me feel extremely
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  entitled to a lot of situations and whatnot.
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  It just, it really has it made. It's made it very difficult for
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  me to express gratitude. Instead, I expressed
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  entitlement, right? This is why.
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  This could be why when you are going above and beyond for a
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  narcissist, imagine like going above and beyond for somebody.
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  Like you're doing everything for this person.
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  You're, you're, you're, you're sacrificing, you're struggling.
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  You're giving this person everything that they ever asked
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  for, but they didn't ask you to do it right?
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  And instead of being grateful and saying thank you so much for
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  sacrificing your life and being there for me, they, they instead
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  express entitlement. They don't even say thank you.
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  They're like, yeah, they express entitlement.
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  And one of the ways that you know this is when you sacrifice
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  yourself, when you do everything for this person, when you give
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  everything to this person and instead of saying thank you,
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  they'll say nobody asked you to do that.
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  And you'll be like, what? Nobody asked me to do that.
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  What? And you, you didn't have to ask
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  me to do it because I love you. I did it because out of love.
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  Then why you bringing it up? If you love me, why you bringing
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  it up? Oh, that's a good skit right
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  there, isn't it? I'm going to do a skit about
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  nobody ask you to do that. And somebody got a little crazy.
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  But like, no Lee. That's it right there.
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  Damn. That's it.
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  Lee. You, Lee.
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  Stop me. Get out of my house.
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  Lee. What?
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  Lee, where's the camera at? In my house.
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  Lee, where's the camera at? And if I want to know, I've
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  started putting the my website, it's in the bottom corner of the
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  screen. Mental illness.net for
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  everything. Lee Hammock, Everything is
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  there. Mental illness.net.
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  But yeah, it's made the narcissism has made it hard for
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  me to express gratitude. And instead I feel entitled.
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  I express entitlement. And I feel like a lot of
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  narcissistic people feel like they're they are entitled to
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  that because feeling gratitude means you, I owe you something.
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  I like, I think a lot of narcissists don't want to feel
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  like they are in debt to anybody.
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  They don't want to feel like they're indebted to you or to
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  anyone else for that matter. So they feel they expressed that
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  entitlement instead, right? They expressed entitlement like
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  you owe me. What about what about what I did
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  for you? I know y'all don't hear them say
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  that, but don't forget I did this for you.
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  I know y'all don't hear them say that right?
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  So that happens too. So that's a big piece of right
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  there. Another thing that is like this
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  is a personal story right here. Y'all narcissism.
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  The narcissistic part of me has made it very difficult for me to
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  express affection. It really has it made, it's made
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  it very difficult me for for me to express affection and loving
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  being carried in my relationship with my wife throughout the
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  years. I'm better at it now because
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  I've, I've been in psychotherapy for eight years, but it's made
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  it very difficult over the last eight years to, I mean, before
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  that to express it. Like, for instance, my wife
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  would be in the kitchen, right? And I could sense that she was
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  just overwhelmed, that she was sad and that she was just kind
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  of out of it. And I'll be like, damn, you'll
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  be good for her right now to give her a hug.
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  And I would take two steps towards her.
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  And then a part of my mind would operate and be like, Nope, she's
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  good. And it would kind of like turn
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  my head out the door, but I'm like, no, she needs a hug and
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  get your ass out the house. No, no, no, I get drunk.
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  I get I would get drunk out the house by my narcissism, right by
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  the person I did disorder by that just this is part of me,
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  man. It really is a part of me.
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  That's why a lot of people ask me, well, Lee, do you still
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  express some of your traits? Yes, Y'all, It doesn't go away.
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  I've just gotten good at behave. I just got better at behaving.
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  I got better at not expressing the unnecessary anger and and
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  fear and whatever else it is that I have going on.
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  I've gotten better at doing it as opposed to anything else,
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  right? That's what I've gotten good at,
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  right? This is for me, my own instance.
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  So now I would give her that hug back in the day, I was like, she
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  don't need no hug. She's all right now.
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  I would give her that hug. I know she needs it.
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  I know she loves it. I know she needs that affection,
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  right? Some part of me back in the day
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  when I was not able to express that affection, I would want to
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  hug her and kiss her and tell her everything was going to be
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  OK. I would want to hug her and give
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  her that affection. Slap on across, slap across the
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  cheeks or whatever, get a little cheeks, slap, whatever.
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  But my mom was just like, Nope, don't do that.
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  Go outside. And that led to the that led to
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  the the slow destruction of my marriage.
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  That was one of the things that she would be not necessarily
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  complaining about, but she would voice her opinion on just like
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  we don't, there's not enough affection.
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  I'm like, I give you what I got. So the narcissism made it very
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  hard for me to be affectionate. Another thing is y'all I put, I
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  put no affection. It would not.
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  Another thing it'll be very difficult me for me to do is
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  just showing love and just being just showing love regardless of
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  who it was. Like it could be my own
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  children, right? And that's embarrassing to even
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  say out loud that it would be very difficult for me to express
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  love to my own kids. Like, and that sucks to even say
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  out loud. Y'all, it's embarrassing to even
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  say out loud, but it wouldn't, it would be disingenuous of me
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  to just not keep it right, to not keep it real with y'all,
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  right? It'd be very difficult for me to
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  be loving to my children, very difficult for me to express any
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  type of just like sincerity or vulnerability to my children.
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  And the children need to see you being vulnerable.
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  And the children need to see that type of stuff because it
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  sets an example to them to let them know it's OK.
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  It just is. My oldest son, we got my oldest
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  son in therapy. He was damn near refusing to go
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  to therapy back in the day. But now that he sees his dad
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  going to therapy and using therapy to become a better human
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  being, he's cool. He's like, Dad, you going?
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  To therapy today I'm like, Yep, we're going to drop you off at
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  school, we'll write to therapy, OK?
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  Crazy about this. My son wouldn't say this.
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  I think he might. I think.
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  I think my son is proud of me and I'm proud to say that I
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  really think my son is proud of me.
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  And that's one of the, that's one of my, the things that I'm
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  most proud of. And I think my kids, my son, I
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  think my wife is proud of me. I think people are proud of me.
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  But again, back in the day, it'd be hard for me to express that,
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  right? It'd be things.
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  It would be very difficult for me to express that right there
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  to be vulnerable with y'all. Because that's another thing
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  that narcissism wouldn't allow me to do.
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  Not only be loving, caring and affectionate to my own children,
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  it will be making it very difficult for me to be
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  vulnerable to anybody. Like, I know a lot.
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  I know a lot of people hop on here like, well, it is difficult
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  for a lot of people. Yeah, but other people can get
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  over. Other people can battle through
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  it. Vulnerability to narcissists
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  means opening themselves up, and vulnerability means weakness.
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  If I show you this, you can hurt me.
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  And I think that's what a lot of people, that's what a lot of
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  narcissists deal with right there.
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  If I'm, if I show you how vulnerable I am, you can use
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  this. You can use this against me in
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  the future, right? You can use this against me.
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  Why? Why, Lee, why don't narcissists
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  think you're going to use it against them?
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  Because they would use it against you.
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  That, that, that's why they would use.
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  That's why they know they, they think that you would use their
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  vulnerability against them because they will use your
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  vulnerability against you. And they probably already have,
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  right? So the narcissism has made it
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  very difficult for me to be vulnerable.
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  It is. It's just, it's made it
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  extremely difficult for me to express vulnerability as a man,
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  as a human being. And I know I think a lot of men
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  who might experience that overall in general, but the
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  personality disorder has definitely contributed to that.
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  But myself, awareness has grown so much.
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  Y'all now the last thing, y'all, this is number 5, right?
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  The last thing I talk about, the narcissism has made it very
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  difficult for me to do my personality disorder.
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  It's made it very difficult to be introspective.
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  It's made it very difficult to look inside, right?
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  I know I spoke about vulnerability, but vulnerability
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  means expressing any type of emotion.
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  The narcissism made it very made.
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  It has made it very difficult for me to be introspective in
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  any way, shape or form. But I don't want to look inside,
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  right? I don't want to look inside.
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  I don't want to look inside of my mind or look inside of my
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  heart and oh, look inside of myself because I'm afraid.
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  I'm afraid of what might come from that.
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  I'm afraid of what might happen when I'm vulnerable.
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  I'm afraid of what might transpire when I'm when I look
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  deep inside of myself. I'm afraid of what I might see.
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  What I might see is a scared kid.
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  What I might see is that I'm actually a vulnerable person.
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  What I might see is that I hate myself.
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  There's so many things that nurses are afraid of, right?
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  But that fear of looking inside is definitely a big one.
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  It really, really is y'all. So I hope this list has
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  butchered some clarity and giving you a, giving you like a
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  little peek inside the mind of a narcissist, right?
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  I hope it's giving you a little peek, a little little peeky,
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  little peeky into the mind of a narcissist in the inner workings
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  of our minds and whatnot, 'cause I hope it's butchered some
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  clarity. I hope it butchered some
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  understanding. If you haven't already, hit that
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  subscribe button. I appreciate every second one of
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  y'all. I'm super thankful for y'all.
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  I'm super grateful for y'all. And as always, y'all, as always,
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  mental illness is out. Peace what up y'all what up?
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  Before you leave make sure to hit that subscribe button if you
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  haven't. It just helps us reach more
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  people. Also everything I have is
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  available at mentalillness.net, my coaching, my courses.
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  I have a couple of courses that can help you understand and help
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  you heal and also have a support group all available at
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  mentalillness.net. Check my site off everything
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  y'all and I will see y'all later.
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  Peace.