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17 - Robin Hood by J Walker McSpadden · Robin Hood

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Public domain, how the bishop was dyed. Oh what is
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: the matter, then said the bishop? Or for whom do
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: you make this adio? Or why do you kill the
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  Speaker 1: king's venison when your company is so few. We are shepherds,
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  Speaker 1: quoth Bold Robin Hood, and we keep sheep all the year,
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  Speaker 1: and we are disposed to be merry this day and
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  Speaker 1: to kill of the king's fat deer. Not many days
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  Speaker 1: after Sir Richard of the Leah came to Sherwood Forest,
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  Speaker 1: word reached Robin Hood's ears that my Lord, Bishop of
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  Speaker 1: Hereford would be riding that way betimes on that morning.
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  Speaker 1: Twas Arthur a Bland, the Knight's quondam esquire, who brought
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  Speaker 1: the tidings, And Robin's face brightened as he heard it.
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  Speaker 1: Now by our lady, quoth he, I have long desired
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  Speaker 1: to entertain my lord in the greenwood, and this is
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  Speaker 1: too fair a chance to let slip come. My men,
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  Speaker 1: Kill me a venison, kill me a good fat deer.
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  Speaker 1: The Bishop of Hereford is to dine with me to day,
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  Speaker 1: and he shall pay well for his cheer. Shall we
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  Speaker 1: dress it here as usual? Asked much the miller's son. Nay,
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  Speaker 1: we play a droll game on the churchman. We will
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  Speaker 1: dress it by the highwayside and watch for the bishop
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  Speaker 1: narrowly least he should ride some other way. So Robin
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  Speaker 1: gave his orders, and the main body of his men
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  Speaker 1: dispersed to different parts of the forest, under Will Stuteley
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  Speaker 1: and Little John to watch other roads, while Robin Hood
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  Speaker 1: himself took six of his men, including Will Scarlett and much,
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  Speaker 1: and posted himself in full view of the main road.
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  Speaker 1: This little company appeared funny enough, I assure you, for
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  Speaker 1: they had disguised themselves as shepherds. Robin had an old
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  Speaker 1: wool cap with a tail to it, hanging over his ear,
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  Speaker 1: and a shock of hair stood straight up through a
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  Speaker 1: hole at the top. Besides, there was so much dirt
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  Speaker 1: on his face that you would never have known him.
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  Speaker 1: An old, tattered cloak over his hunter's garb completed his
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  Speaker 1: make up. The others were no less ragged and un
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  Speaker 1: even the foppish Will Scarlet being so badly run down
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  Speaker 1: at the heel that the court ladies would hardly have
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  Speaker 1: had speech with him. They quickly provided themselves with a
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  Speaker 1: deer and made great preparations to cook it over a
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  Speaker 1: small fire. When a little dust was seen blowing along
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  Speaker 1: the highway, and out of it came the portly bishop,
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  Speaker 1: cantering along with ten men at arms at his heels.
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  Speaker 1: As soon as he saw the fancied shepherds, he spurred
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  Speaker 1: up his horse and came straight toward them. Who are ye, fellows,
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  Speaker 1: who make so free with the King's deer? He asked, sharply,
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  Speaker 1: we are shepherds, answered Robin Hood, pulling at his forelock awkwardly,
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  Speaker 1: Heaven have mercy. Ye seem a sorry lot of shepherds.
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  Speaker 1: But who gave you leave to cease eating mutton? Tis
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  Speaker 1: one of our feast days, lording, and we were disposed
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  Speaker 1: to be merry this day and make free with a
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  Speaker 1: deer out here where there are so many. By me
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  Speaker 1: faith the King shall hear of this? Who killed yon beast?
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  Speaker 1: Give me first your name, excellence, so that I may
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  Speaker 1: speak where tis fitting, replied Robin stubbornly, tis my lord,
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  Speaker 1: Bishop of Herford. Fellow, interposed one of the guards. Fiercely
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  Speaker 1: see that you keep a civil tongue in your head.
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  Speaker 1: If tis a churchman, retorted will Scarlett, he would do
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  Speaker 1: better to mind his own flocks rather than concern himself
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  Speaker 1: with ours. Ye are saucy fellows in sooth, cried the Bishop,
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  Speaker 1: and we will see if your heads will pay for
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  Speaker 1: your manners. Come quit your stolen roast and march along
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  Speaker 1: with me, for you shall be brought before the Sheriff
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  Speaker 1: of Nottingham. Forthwith pardon excellence, said Robin, dropping on his knees. Pardon,
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  Speaker 1: I pray you. It becomes not your Lordship's coat to
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  Speaker 1: take so many lives away. Faith, I'll pardon you, said
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  Speaker 1: the Bishop. I'll pardon you when I see you hanged.
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  Speaker 1: Seize upon them, my men. But Robin had already sprung
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  Speaker 1: away with his back against a tree, and from underneath
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  Speaker 1: his ragged cloak, he drew his trusty horn and winded
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  Speaker 1: the piercing notes, which were wont to summon the The
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  Speaker 1: bishop no sooner saw this action than he knew his
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  Speaker 1: man and that there was a trap set. And being
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  Speaker 1: an arrant coward, he wheeled his horse sharply and would
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  Speaker 1: have made off down the road, but his own men
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  Speaker 1: spurred on the charge blocked his way. At almost the
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  Speaker 1: same instant, the bushes round about seemed literally to come
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  Speaker 1: alive with outlaws. Little John's men came from one side
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  Speaker 1: and will Stuteley's from the other. In less time than
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  Speaker 1: it takes to tell it, the worthy bishop found himself
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  Speaker 1: a prisoner and began to crave mercy from the men
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  Speaker 1: he had so lately been ready to sentence. Oh pardon,
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  Speaker 1: Oh pardon, said the bishop. Oh pardon, I you pray,
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  Speaker 1: for if I had known it had been you, I'd
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  Speaker 1: have gone some other way. I owe you no pardon,
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  Speaker 1: retorted Robin, but I will even treat you better than
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  Speaker 1: you would have treated me. Come make haste and go
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  Speaker 1: along with me. I have already planned that you shall
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  Speaker 1: dine with me this day. So the unwilling prelate was
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  Speaker 1: dragged away cheek by jowl with the half cooked venison
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  Speaker 1: upon the back of his own horse, and Robin and
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  Speaker 1: his band took charge of the whole company and led
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  Speaker 1: them through the forest glades till they came to an
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  Speaker 1: open space near Barnsdale. Here they rested, and Robin gave
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  Speaker 1: the Bishop a seat full courteously much the miller's son
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  Speaker 1: fell to roasting the deer afresh, while another and fatter
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  Speaker 1: beast was set to frizzle on the other side of
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  Speaker 1: the fire. Presently, the appetizing odor of the cooking reached
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  Speaker 1: the bishop's nostrils, and he sniffed it eagerly. The morning's
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  Speaker 1: ride had made him hungry, and he was nothing loth
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  Speaker 1: when they bade him come to the dinner. Robin gave
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  Speaker 1: him the best place beside himself, and the Bishop prepared
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  Speaker 1: to fall to nay, my lord, craving your pardon, But
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  Speaker 1: we are accustomed to have grace before meat, said Robin decorously,
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  Speaker 1: And as our own chaplain is not with us to day,
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  Speaker 1: will you be good enough to say it for us?
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  Speaker 1: The Bishop reddened, but pronounced grace in the Latin tongue hastily,
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  Speaker 1: and then settled himself to make the best of his lot.
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  Speaker 1: Red wines and ale were brought forth and poured out,
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  Speaker 1: each man having a horn tankard from which to drink.
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  Speaker 1: Laughter bubbled among the diners, and the Bishop caught himself
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  Speaker 1: smiling at more than one jest. But who in sooth
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  Speaker 1: could resist a freshly broiled venison steak eaten out in
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  Speaker 1: the open air to the tune of jest and good fellowship.
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  Speaker 1: Stuteley filled the bishop's beaker with wine each time he
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  Speaker 1: emptied it, and the bishop got mellower and mellower as
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  Speaker 1: the afternoon shades lengthened on towards sunset. Then the approaching
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  Speaker 1: dusk warned him of his position. I wish mine host,
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  Speaker 1: quoth he gravely to Robin, who had soberly drunk but
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  Speaker 1: one cup of ale that you would now call a
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  Speaker 1: reckoning tis late, and I fear the cost of this
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  Speaker 1: entertainment may be more than my poor purse can stand for.
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  Speaker 1: He bethought himself of his friend, the sheriff's former experience. Verily,
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  Speaker 1: your lordship, said Robin, scratching his head. I have enjoyed
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  Speaker 1: your company so much that I scarce know how to
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  Speaker 1: charge for it. Lend me your purse, my lord, said
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  Speaker 1: little John, interposing, and I'll give you the reckoning by
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  Speaker 1: and by. The bishop shuddered. He had collected Sir Richard's
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  Speaker 1: debt only that morning, and was even then carrying it home.
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  Speaker 1: I have but a few silver pennies of my own,
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  Speaker 1: he whined, And as for the gold in my saddle bags,
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  Speaker 1: tis for the church. Ye surely would not levy upon
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  Speaker 1: the church, good friends. But Little John was already gone
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  Speaker 1: to the saddle bags, and returning, he laid the bishop's
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  Speaker 1: cloak upon the ground and poured out of the Portmanteua
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  Speaker 1: a matter of four hundred glittering gold pieces, twas the
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  Speaker 1: identical money which Robin had lent Sir Richard a short
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  Speaker 1: while before. Ah said Robin, as though an idea had
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  Speaker 1: but just then come to him. The church is always
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  Speaker 1: willing to aid in charity, and seeing this goodly sum
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  Speaker 1: reminds me that I have a friend who is indebted
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  Speaker 1: to a churchman for this exact amount. Now we shall
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  Speaker 1: charge you nothing by our own account, but suffer us
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  Speaker 1: to make use of this in aiding my good friend. Nay, nay,
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  Speaker 1: began the bishop with a wry face. This is requitting
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  Speaker 1: me ill. Indeed, was this not the King's meat, after
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  Speaker 1: all that we feasted upon? Furthermore, I am a poor man.
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  Speaker 1: Poor forsooth, answered Robin, and scorn you are the Bishop
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  Speaker 1: of Hereford, and does not the whole countryside speak of
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  Speaker 1: your oppression? Who does not know of your cruelty to
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  Speaker 1: the poor? And ignorant you who should use your great
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  Speaker 1: office to aid them instead of a press? Have you
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  Speaker 1: not been guilty of far greater robbery than this? Even
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  Speaker 1: though less open of myself and how you have pursued me,
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  Speaker 1: I say nothing nor of your unjust enmity against my father.
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  Speaker 1: But on account of those you have despoiled and oppressed,
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  Speaker 1: I take this money and will use it far more
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  Speaker 1: worthily than you would. God be my witness in this.
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  Speaker 1: There is an end of the matter unless you will
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  Speaker 1: lead us in a song or dance to show that
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  Speaker 1: your body had a better spirit than your mind. Come
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  Speaker 1: strike up the heart ballan neither the one nor the
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  Speaker 1: other will I do, snarled the bishop. Faith Then we
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  Speaker 1: must help you, said little John, and he and Arthur
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  Speaker 1: of Bland seized the fat struggling churchmen and commenced to
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  Speaker 1: hop up and down. The Bishop, being shorter, must perforce
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  Speaker 1: accompany them in their gyrations, while the whole company sat
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  Speaker 1: and rolled about over the ground and roared to see
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  Speaker 1: my Lord of Hereford's queer capers. At last he sank
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  Speaker 1: in a heap, fuddled with wine, and quite exhausted. Little
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  Speaker 1: John picked him up as though he were a log
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  Speaker 1: of wood, and, carrying him to his horse, set him
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  Speaker 1: astride facing the animal's tail, and thus fastened him, leading
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  Speaker 1: the animal toward the high road, and starting the Bishop,
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  Speaker 1: more dead than alive, toward Nottingham. So ends Chapter seventeen.