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The Invisible Weight Sabotaging Your Life with Cameron Karber · Let's Get Naked

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hey everyone, I'm Anne.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Let's Get Naked podcast, where we dive deep into vulnerability.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: In this space, we'll explore what triggers us, uncover the patterns holding us back, and discover how to take charge of our own growth.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: If you're ready to dig in, be vulnerable, and face the tough stuff, then buckle up.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's time to get naked.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: You want to know what's actually exhausting?
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Not your schedule, not your job, not your kids.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's the invisible weight you've been carrying for years, acting like it's just who you are.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Unprocessed trauma.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I said it.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna get into all of it today.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: The big stuff, the obvious stuff, the stuff that should have never happened.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: And the quiet stuff.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: The things you brushed off, the moments you swallowed, the times you said, I'm fine when you weren't.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: None of it disappears.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: It stores in your body, in your reactions, in your patterns.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like outdated programs running in the background of your life, slowing you down, distorting how you see things, hijacking your decisions.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: And you don't even realize it because you've carried it so long you think it's you.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's not you.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's what you never processed.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's why you snap when something small happens, why you shut down when things get real, why you chase validation or avoid conflict or tolerate things that don't feel right.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: Different people, the same weight.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: Men walking around calling it how I'm wired, when really they were taught to bury everything and call that strength.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: Women overriding their instincts to keep the peace, stacking resentment quietly.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: High performers grinding nonstop because slowing down means they might actually feel something.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Parents reacting to their kids from wounds that have never have nothing to do with their kids.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone carrying something they never stop to unpack.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the part people don't want to hear.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Just because it wasn't your fault doesn't mean it's not your responsibility to deal with it.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you don't, you don't just carry it, you leak it into your relationships, into your work, into every room you walk into.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: So no, you're not just tired, you're overloaded with emotional weight that you never set down.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: And the wild part, people are out here optimizing their calendar, their diet, their morning routine while running chaos in the background.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need another hack, you need a clear out because the moment you face what you've been avoiding, that's when the weight drops.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's when your energy comes back online.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: That's when you stop reacting and start actually living.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: Let's get into it.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: Today I'm stripping it all off with my person, Cameron, who has agreed repeatedly to just keep coming on the show and sharing his uh wisdom, experiences, stories, all of the things.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: So welcome, Cameron.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate you being here.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not hurt, I'm not sure who that says more about in that in that circumstance.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: Probably both of us.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but uh pretty, pretty powerful stuff you covered there in the intro.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_02: I'm uh nervous?
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know, can't wait to see what's next.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_02: I can't either.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so a couple of things.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna start with the invisible weight conversation because I feel like that's really important to not only identify, but then also figure out what to do with it.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: From both my standpoint and your standpoint.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's really powerful.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: And then also sharing like what the impact that has on our relationship, on other things as they go out from where you are.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then also I have some cards here that have uh various mini topics on them that uh our producer helped me order in the other room before we came in here.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, just just everybody else out there knows.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_02: I don't have any idea what's on those cards yet.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_02: It's gonna be a mystery to me.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: So much fun.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, sure.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so we'll see if we get to them.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe we'll talk enough about invisible weight that we never get there.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_02: So could be.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_02: Based on what you covered in the intro, I think we could probably do about 14 episodes on that.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_02: There's a there's a lot of group, there's a lot of ground to cover.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna let you start then.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: I I I think I I want to know what the here, I'm gonna start with this.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna say this.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna say something and then I'm gonna I'm gonna hand it over to you for your take on just invisible weight in general.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: So I had seen something not that long ago, couple a couple years ago, who knows how long ago, I don't even know what time is anymore.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it was a somebody that was doing a TED talk or something, and he was up on a stage and he had he was doing this visual of carrying all of this weight, right?
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: And he has some regular weights and some barbells, and he's got some, you know, some weights that are hanging to his belt, and he has some other, just all various different pieces of equipment from the gym that he's carrying across the stage.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: And he's using this as his visual because these are the vi invisible weights that he was, you know, showcasing to people.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: And then he's talking about as he works through whatever it is, different unprocessed trauma, different things, then he sets a five-pound down here, and then he sets a uh, you know, a barbell down here, and he sets, you know, takes the whatever is off of his belt and sets it down here.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: And that visual struck me because that's literally what it feels like my work has been over the last however many years, eight years or whatever that I've been doing.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: That took a little bit to get started, but that's literally what it felt like for me as I was processing things and setting them down.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_02: It's what it looked like for me from the outside.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, which is which is which is awesome, right?
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: Which is awesome because I literally felt like getting lighter, feeling less burdened by things.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: And and it was all over the place.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's stuff from childhood, stuff from yesterday, stuff from however long.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: But if you don't process it as it's happening, it does store in your body.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I will maintain that I think that that's exactly where all of your health stuff comes from.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Or, you know, it's a good source of what your health stuff comes from.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because you store that in the body and then you just carry that around.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: And so the the analogy of the invisible weight, the analogy of having a bunch of stuff running in the background, uh slowing you down performance-wise, and whatever, those are good visuals that I think are really powerful.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I love that you not only saw that in me, but now as I see you over the last couple of years starting to do your work, uh, I'm watching as I can only imagine what you felt like from your side when I was doing it.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: And it's and it's powerful.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I think the perspective is a little bit different because I wasn't planting seeds for you the way you're planting seeds for me.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_02: So it's uh for me, it was more of a shock and awe.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_02: And for you, it's probably more like you know, watching a tree grower that you planted from you know, small or whatever, right?
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_02: Different, different take, right?
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_02: Same, same activity, different perspective, different take.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: You're not wrong.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: You're not wrong, and what a beautiful way to say that.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_02: So uh trying to trying to give you some credit for what's going on with this whole hot mess, is what I'm trying to say.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't realize you're gonna lead with that because that's gonna make me emotional.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: You you could have saved that towards the end.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you know, you had the you had the the Kleenex up here, so I figured I'd, you know, try to try to get in there if I can.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um for backstory for folks that have not ever seen an episode with Cameron or who don't know us personally, uh Cameron and I have been together for 25 years.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: We just celebrated 22 years of marriage.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: Uh Cameron and I still like each other.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: We still like each other and we still love each other and we have a lot of fun together.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: And we have really leaned hard into using one another as a mirror for processing bullshit.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: Both of us had uh some pretty traumatic starts to this uh journey, which I think is why the big guy put us together.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and it's and it's been fun.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's been fun, and so I love I love his take on things.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: It it it stops me in my tracks a lot of times because you know I'm only working with my perspective, and while I encourage other people's POVs in my lane, just to from an understanding point, when when he speaks, I give it a lot more credit because I not more credit, but just it's it's tied in directly to my life.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so it hits me a little bit.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: That's that's a fun right, that's a fun thing.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: You're right.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: It does feel like a watching a tree grow.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: You know, uh I wrote the book for not only all of the people, but that was the only way I was ever gonna get Cameron to read a personal improvement book is to write it and then ask him to proofread it and edit it.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: And so he has a hand in that as well.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: And it is really, I believe that editing multiple times, it sank over him exactly like I wanted it to.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: And now I watch as he implements the the things in the book and just watches, I just watch him grow, and it is the coolest thing on the planet.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: And so if you are a female viewer of the show or listener, uh highly encourage you to figure out a way to plant that seed with your partner.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I know that a lot of times men, specifically straight men, that's what I have experience with with you, are hard-headed and they think they know all the things and do the whole I'm fine, it's fine, everything's fine.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: And Cameron's going to share with us what that has done for him in the invisible weight category as he's processing things, because the engaging with life from a lighter perspective feels like you won the lottery.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's what it feels like to me.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's it feels like a gift every day.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so maybe you want to talk a little bit about when you first started feeling like it was invisible weight that was being set down, either from your witnessing me or realizing that yourself, or you get to jump in wherever feels right.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I think first it's best to you know to talk a little bit more about invisible weight, right?
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_02: What that what that is and how it manifests, and how you see it, and and how you feel it, and and and how you if you're if you're trying to notice, you can see how it affects your interactions, right?
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm gonna say that the easiest way to identify an area where you've got some invisible weight hanging around is if you've got something that you're supposed to go do, whether it's you know go to work, uh maybe you need to have a difficult conversation with your partner, a difficult conversation with a friend, customer, coworker, or something.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_02: And it it you just don't feel like I want to do it.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_02: There's some dread associated with that.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_02: I think the I think the feeling of dread is you know really, really important.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I don't want to go visit my brother.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want to go visit my parents.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_02: I've got this feeling of dread there, right?
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_02: You know, that's the kind of stuff that weighs on you in the background.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_02: Once you feel that, it's with you, right?
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_02: You can't shake that.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_02: The next time you broach that subject, it's still there, right?
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_02: There's something, there's something that's there.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_02: And it's invisible weight, right?
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_02: You don't, you don't, maybe you don't know what it is, maybe you haven't spent enough time to to try to analyze why that is.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_02: But the the simple thing is you should be fired up to go do whatever it is that you need to do in life.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't matter what it is.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_02: This is an opportunity to go do something amazing.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_02: Every single time, every single day, every single activity, it's all right, let's go do this, right?
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_02: And so if there isn't some excitement behind that, there's something running in the background, right?
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_02: That's just flat out of the box.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_02: That's the easiest way to identify stuff like that.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_02: And then you can get into it, you know, what is it there, right?
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_02: And that, you know, maybe takes a takes a little bit of help and talking through or at least some time.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_02: Windshield time is you know my favorite.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_02: It's the most, it's the most accessible to me.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_02: But when you can kind of unplug from everything else and just uh put your mind on, hey, why do I why do I feel uncomfortable?
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_02: Why do I why do I not like this set of circumstances?
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_02: You know, that's uh super, you know, super important as far as that goes.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_02: So I like the I like Ann's analogy with the with the you know carrying the various weights and whatever, but the the one that that works for me also is you can kind of uh picture that invisible weight in the same fashion as you know things that you put into your body that your body doesn't necessarily want to process, and it just puts it right down there in your little beer belly area, right?
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_02: And that stuff keeps storing up and storing up and storing up, and so you're carrying you know that kind of weight around also.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_02: You can kind of envision that that you know, that invisible weight as that beer belly that's on you, also, right?
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_02: And your body doesn't want to digest that stuff.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_02: You have to get to a point where you're like, all right, fine, I'm tired of doing this.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_02: Let's let's dive in and get this squared away.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_02: The same way with those background programs that just they just run back there, they just drain you.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_02: You know, the iPhone is another really good example that I like.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_02: Also, you know, you just get through with your day and you you haven't cleared your screen out, and your battery's dead, and you look at it and go, well, no wonder it's dead.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_02: There's all these things running in the background.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_02: I gotta 85 apps open at the same time.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_02: I gotta swipe and close it.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_02: Like what we're talking about is exactly the same thing.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_02: You've got all these crazy things that are just they're non-in the back of your mind.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_02: Every one of those things that you comment, oh, it's just been in the back of my mind, it's been on the back of my mind.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_02: Every single one of those things is detracting from your enjoyment of the present.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_02: Every single one of them, every single time, every single day.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_02: And if you can't get to the point where you identify what that is and figure out why it's back there and why it continues to run, why it brings you dread, why it's always there, then you're never going to get to the point where you can enjoy what's in front of you completely.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it's that's that's how that invisible weight stuff works, and that's the benefit that's on the other side of it.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_02: For everything that you drop, everything that you resolve, any of those outstanding conflicts and conversations you you feel like you need to have and you haven't had, every single one of those takes away from your enjoyment right now.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_02: And if you can get to where there's you know, approaching zero of those items back there, oh man, yeah, life is life is good.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: I I believe I'm approaching zero.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_02: I believe you're approaching zero also.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: So I've I've I've done a lot of work on myself aggressively.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I I had the luxury of um being I isolated up north during COVID, and that was really kind of in the thick of when I was doing stuff uh in the last couple of years.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: I just feel like I've been on steroids.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because I've been using the things that trigger me as mirrors instead of being pissed off that something triggered me.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, why did that trigger me?
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: Where is that stored?
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: I love I don't even want to know what you have to say.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: It makes me nervous when you laugh like that.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_02: Does it doesn't it because this is great.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_02: This is uh speaking specifically about um mirrors with your partner.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_02: We had a conversation a few months ago with Anne says, You are such an asshole.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_02: You're just a total asshole.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_02: And and and and I looked at her and I said, Yeah, and mirror, right?
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_02: Mirror.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: Good news, bad news about when you share the knowledge with your partners and they use it back against you.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, God damn, am I really that big of an asshole?
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: And then I was like, Oh my god, I really think I am.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: Not in like a, you know, Cameron and I are Cameron and I are blunt force uh instruments in this life, right?
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: We get shit done.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: We are not the finesse, we are not the whatever, we are the people that do the shit that other people don't have the stomach for.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: Uh is a good way to is a good way to say that.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: Cameron and I run into build burning buildings when other people are running out.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: That's literally what fuels us.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and so it's it's pretty interesting, pretty fascinating.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um yeah.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and I I had another one of those aha moments when recently also because there was uh you know, a certain way that I felt Ann was reacting to me and in certain or presenting to me in certain circumstances that was frustrating.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_02: And I couldn't figure it out.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_02: It was it was bothering me because you know we have these conversations all the time.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_02: And and Ann says to me, she says, Look, you know, if you would just 100% understand that when we're communicating, I'm coming from a good place.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it would really help us communicate.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, well, I don't know.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_02: How can that be?
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_02: How can you always be that way?
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_02: Whatever.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_02: And so you know, we agreed that that's how we're gonna approach things, right?
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_02: And so she's she's telling me one thing, she's telling, I'm approaching this, I'm I'm good, everything's good, I'm I'm happy, I'm you know, 100% on the team, I'm not trying to be an asshole, you know, but that's where I'm coming from.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, Well, okay, that's fine, but this this what what you're presenting as is telling me something different, and it just doesn't feel right.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_02: And so I went back to the whole mirror situation, right?
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_02: Because uh now, now uh now I'm onto it, right?
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_02: You you've you've got me, I'm onto it.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_02: So when I see something that Ann presents, the first place I look is me, right?
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_02: What's right, and and and not that it's not that I'm specifically making an action that causes her a reaction, right?
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's not that.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_02: It's the it's mirroring, right?
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_02: I don't have to do an action.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_02: It's already there, right?
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_02: What what whatever it is that that frustrates me, right?
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_02: She's showing me from a different a different view, and then I get to say, oh wow, well that that thing right there is is probably something that lives inside me.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_02: And so it it gives me something to work on when I see those things, or it gives me something to discover, you know, explore, whatever.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it gets to get some windshield time and say, hey, how that why did why did this reaction, why did this attitude bother me so much, and figure out why that is.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, sometimes you come to understand that you're the one that's doing that exact same thing, and it's just showing up in your relationship with another person.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_02: It's pretty crazy, it's pretty powerful.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: The the mirror concept really, really is amazing.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like I just continued to go into deeper and deeper levels of that because I'll use uh everyone as a mirror.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: I think that that's what we're meant to do, right?
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's we're meant to work on ourselves, and that's how you have change in the world is you work on what you can control.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: And the things that bother you or the things that spark you or the things that make you feel a certain type of way, if you're not all numbed out and you can feel those things, then you can get curious about that, whatever it is, right?
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's something that triggered you, sometimes it's something that you see that you're, you know, have like a jealousy feeling about.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe that's something that you want, that you haven't given yourself permission to go after.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, there's all of these things, but it's like when you when you really get curious about that, it just changes the whole game in life.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: It isn't just this whole like mediocre hamster wheel that you're living on and just trying to like triage your shitty day and get through it.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, that's not what life is supposed to be about, you guys.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's the reason why I've put all of this energy and effort into what it is that I do is because I want to be able to share that with people.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: Life can be so much more incredible.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: And is it hard?
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, but it's not any harder than what you were doing before.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's just a different heart.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so understanding that getting in tune with yourself is the number one thing, and knowing that um, who are you?
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: What is your gut telling you?
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: What is bringing it up for somebody when I trigger something in you or when you trigger something in me?
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, you said something that's really important.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: I want to circle back on.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: When we got to this place a couple of years ago in our relationship, um, where we said, okay, I had that conversation of assume I'm coming from a good place.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: We're on the same team.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: When you have a when you have a partner or a spouse that you feel like you're at war with, remind yourself why you started, right?
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: Talk about the things, and then also maybe, maybe cut a line in the sand that just says, hey, can we can we start over?
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: Can we have a factory reset?
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because I remember why I love you and why we got together in the first place, especially if you have kids and family and all of this kind of stuff.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's your most important relationship if you're trying to have a solid base for your family that should get the most amount of energy.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're not putting more energy into your relationship than you are into how much scrolling time you're doing every day, you're getting exactly what you're asking for.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: Cameron and I.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_02: You're showing the receipts.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: You're showing the receipts, right?
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's like you're showing yourself the evidence of, you know, Cameron and I spend more time talking about things and and um just spending time learning from one another than anything else that we do.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_00: When we go home at the end of the day, we're not numbing out with stuff, we're plugging in.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: And that doesn't mean that sometimes we don't say, oh, you want to sit in front of the tube and and and just numb out.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: But we're we're talking about our days and what's what's going on with one another and how we're leveling up and how we're, you know, where are we putting 1% uh trying to be 1% better on things and and what are our goals and what do we want to do?
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_00: What are our what are our priorities?
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's really important work to do with your partner.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: But if you're battling with them all the time because they left the dirty underwear on the floor, or they left the toilet seat up and you're you're continually going at them, it's like you're pointing at the wrong thing, boss.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_02: You know, but you and then you've got that dread in the back of your mind about having to sit down and and and have a conversation, even if it's just talking through the day, it's oh man, I don't know.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_02: This is gonna come up and that's gonna come up, and I don't wanna do that, you know.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_02: If you're If you're having those kind of thoughts going on inside your head, you know, you've got that, you know, there's a red, there's your red flag, right?
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_02: To take that as a as a as an invitation or or or whatever to to start looking, right?
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_02: Figure, figure out what it is, because you shouldn't.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you shouldn't.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_02: If that's your most important relationship and you've got dread associated with it, there's something wrong.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_02: And that something wrong is internal, right?
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_02: You have to find what that is.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's not the other person.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_02: It's not the other person.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_02: Again, again, and even if you're looking at some sort of action or some sort of quality in that other person that causes you that dread, again, mirror, mirror, right?
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_02: You're probably putting out something similar, or you're putting out something that shows back in in that way, right?
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_02: So it's again, it's internal, internal, internal, right?
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_02: That's that that's what it tells you almost every time.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: When you when you come to this place of taking accountability at the at a radical level, at a radical level, yes, I think everything changes because it doesn't matter who's responsible.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_00: If I say, Oh, you you did this to me or whatever, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, and then what happened?
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: If I outsource that responsibility to you, I'm taking no accountability for whatever my piece is, and that's where the power is.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's what really feeds the victim card, is like something happening to you.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I just don't think that that's how life is.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: 100% life happens for you.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: I think that the hard things that happen are to me things that it's like, okay, what am I meant to learn from this?
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I take every one of those, uh, every one of those hard things that I deal with as exactly that opportunity.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I never feel like, oh, I can't believe this is happening to me.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh my God, can you believe this is happening to me?
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: And for a long time, Cameron thought I was crazy until he started getting on the bandwagon because I remember that whole going over to to drop our kid off at college, you know, a year or so ago.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: And and and, you know, then our daughter was wanting to tear into me about something.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I was just, it takes a one-two punch from the universe of really big stuff to drop me to my knees.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm down on my knees, we're dry, you know, I'm crying, we're driving back to the townhouse that my kid's in, and and uh, and and I'm like, I'm just Cameron's like checking in with me, and I'm like, I'm just so grateful.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_00: And he was so taken aback when I said that.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I'm so grateful that the universe thought I could handle both of these things on the same day, and I'm going to figure out what this is, what these things are meant to teach me.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: And you just learn so much about yourself as life is happening to you.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, the other thing I want to say, you know, if you find yourself in a place with your partner where you're just not sure where to go, uh and you're not in a great place, make a commitment to one another to listen with the intention of understanding instead of defending.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because that is a game changer on a level you cannot you cannot get your head around.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_00: It is literally a game changer on a on a level you can't get your head around.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: If if you're in the trenches in life, but you want to be that person's support.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_00: You've just gotten so far away.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_00: I think life just uh deals out all of these things, so you just get so far disconnected from one another that you can't even see each other.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_00: And then you're battling each other instead of shoulder to shoulder out to the world.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, you know, Julie helped a lot with getting us re reset up because Cameron and I have definitely had our ups and downs and challenges with stuff, but I tell you it's worth the work individually and jointly to to kind of see things from a little bit of a different perspective and and go at it that way.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, the that's kind of the ninja level uh communication skills when you can shift your purpose in listening to understand completely rather than trying to listen just enough to create a position from where you can defend yourself from.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's just uh it's horrible, right?
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_02: You don't you don't need to reply most times, right?
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_02: If you just sit there and listen and ask questions to get an understanding, it then it's like all the flame that was underneath it just it just goes away.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_02: And now and now you understand, right?
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_02: And and everybody's and everybody's good on that one, you know.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_02: It just it deflates all the tension, it takes everything away from it.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_02: And not only do you save yourself from all of the frustration and all of the leveling up and the the that the defensiveness causes when you do the back and forth, like not only do you eliminate all that, but then you also walk away to the positive with a better understanding, right?
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_02: So there's it's it's it's you lose all the shitty things and you gain all the good things just from a perspective shift.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_02: I just you just want to understand what you're what what you're saying.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want to question you, I don't want to fire back.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_02: If I just want to sit there and listen to you and understand where that is, right?
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_00: Let's be real.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_00: Life doesn't come with a manual, but it does come with chaos.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_00: I wrote this book because I got tired of drowning and everyone else's noise and needed a way to fix my own shit.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: This isn't some sugar-coated self-help nonsense.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's rough, it's honest, and it's packed with tools that actually work in the middle of real life.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_00: If you're ready to stop playing small, take back your energy, and get unapologetically you again, this book is your playbook.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: You can pick up your copy of the Life Pack Playbook on Amazon or on our podcast website, let's get nakedpodcast.com.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_00: I think everyone has gotten into such a bad habit, and I think that this is part of why society is where it is, is when you're speaking, if I'm sitting here trying to create my defense or getting triggered and getting defensive, and my I've I've lost it.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't, it doesn't matter.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like yeah.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: So so if you can just have that commitment, not only you don't have to have that commitment even with somebody else, just make that commitment in yourself of I'm going to listen to understand.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_00: I that doesn't mean that it works with everyone.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_00: It works with everyone.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_02: Every circumstance it does.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't mean I'm going to listen so that you can change my opinion.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_00: That may my mind will stretch, and maybe my opinion does change or my my perspective changes.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_00: But that's not necessarily the intent.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_00: But I want to understand where you're coming from.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: When you come from this place of, I want to know who you are, I want to know your soul, I want to know your story, I want to know that the how your brain works and like all of those things, it's scary in there sometimes.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_00: And that's okay.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_02: You just want to know what you want for lunch.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: Well, listen, you know, if you want to live in the in the kitty pool, then definitely stay.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_00: This is not the right show for you.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_00: I think everyone already knows that.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like we we swim in the deep end pretty regularly.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but but I'll tell you, I've been in both, and you couldn't pay me to go back.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_00: And every single person that I talk to that I know that has come along kicking and screaming on this um, you know, Kool-Aid adventure that we find ourselves on uh would say the same thing.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_01: Agreed.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's it's this is where this the the spice of life is.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_00: I really believe that.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just triaging to get through the day with whatever numbing out tools you can get your hands on, and then wondering why your life is garbage.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_00: Uh no, like deep dive into that.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_00: Do up priorities and see, is this important?
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: And to me, it was like we found ourselves in a place where we were not in a good place, and I had enough tools, and you had enough tools to be able to say, like, what is our number one goal?
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_00: And and just so everyone knows, I drugged Cameron along for a long time.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_00: I think everyone understands that.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_00: Anyone at our table or outside of our table knows that pretty sure the audience knows that too.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_00: I've been dragging for a long time.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: But what I will say is I I feel like in the last couple of years for certain, things are falling into place where you get it, and you're watching as that's happening for yourself, not just with us in our relationship, but also realizing, okay, where is my own individual invisible weight that you're carrying around and knowing that unpacking messed up stuff that happened when you were a kid or understanding that, sure, maybe you were conditioned or programmed to think that, fill in the blank, whatever that is, that's fine.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_00: But you're the one who continues to perpetuate that by deciding that that's what you're going to carry.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_00: And so if you don't get curious about those things and say, is that how I feel?
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_00: Is that how I want to go forward?
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_00: Is that what I believe in my knowing?
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't evaluate those things, you're just carrying around somebody else's junk.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't just somebody else's junk, it's like generational junk that you're just carrying forward because it's like, well, dad said don't be a pussy and rub some dirt on it.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what we're gonna do.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I don't know if you guys know this or not, but that isn't a great strategy for men.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I will maintain that when men go in and blow things up and take their guns and shoot people and do all that shit, it's because you've run out of room in their cup for stuff and they haven't been keeping things clean or processing stuff, and they just go over the edge.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_00: So I will maintain that.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_00: We can talk about gun laws all you guys want to, or what we can do is just help our men right set down the invisible weight that they've been carrying and bleeding in the dark, that everyone has not been necessarily paying attention to because we've been focusing on other things.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that would fix all sorts of our problems in society if we would figure that out.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you know, it'd be a good start, right?
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_02: There's still there's still the outlier crazy people.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_00: Listen, listen, listen.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_00: I g listen, we don't we don't need excuses and we don't need the exceptions in that situation.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_00: You can agree with me that you think that that's absolutely accurate.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you see somebody running around at an eight or a nine, right?
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_00: We can talk about the contractor at our house that acted like a toddler because he was uh a child.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_00: He's running at an eight or a nine, and one little thing happens that was just a misunderstanding, and he blows a gasket.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_00: That's the kind of shit that has men having heart attacks and strokes at 40 years old because they don't have an emotional intelligence where they can understand and process things.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_02: Women also 100%.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_00: I was just using that example of the one guy.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm leading the charge.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_01: Women, of course.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_00: You know how much weight I've set down?
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like you don't have to tell me.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_00: I understand, right?
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_00: I understand what all of that looks like.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_00: I I fucking get it.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: But now that I see it not only in myself, I can see it in other people.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's a it's a neon sign.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_00: And there's nothing I can do to help people in that way, other than just live my life from this, from this perspective and share with people that it's so much better.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_02: I and I like the way that you phrase that with the you know, people just walking around uh uh running at an eight or uh running at a 10 or or whatever, understanding that uh that's that's how much invisible weight you're carrying around, right?
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_02: So you don't have really understanding that 10's the max, right?
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_02: 10's the max.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_02: After you hit 10, you explode, right?
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_02: Or that's that's where all the bad shit is.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_02: That's what bad shit happens.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's where people do unreasonable things that blow their whole lives out.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_02: We start we start doing damage at 10, right?
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_02: And so it's it's invisible weight that you're dragging around that that keeps your level up at an eight or you know, elevated, right?
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_02: So that it doesn't take very much to happen on top of that, that gets you to a point where you're starting to do damage, right?
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_02: That's the I I love the way you you say that because I think it's it's easy to understand.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_02: I think most people understand that, yeah, that's really how it is for a lot of people in a lot of ways, right?
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_02: And I think if if if if we're honest with ourselves and we're looking at ourselves, we're we're understanding, hey, you know, we we carry some of that also, right?
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_02: We we we know that we're at some sort of elevated level based on you know all kinds of things.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_02: All that stuff that's running back there, right?
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_00: Well, and now I touch base with myself of okay, where am I right now?
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because if I start feeling a little bit squirrely, what am I starting to put in that?
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, right?
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_00: Where I'm not I'm not based anymore.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_00: We call I call that getting based, right?
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_00: Just getting down to base level so that you're not carrying around a bunch of stuff.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's my goal in life is to get based.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_00: And and that's what I share with other people because it's like you don't have to carry around that time that that creepy uncle of yours touched you.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_00: But if you don't actually let it up and and and not have shame associated with it, you're carrying it around.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: That's one of the five five-pound dumbbells.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_00: And you see things through that lens, right?
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_00: Those are all of the filters that I'm talking about.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_00: These are the patterns that I'm talking about.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_00: You know, some people don't understand, and it's like I do this intro where it's like we're looking for patterns, we're looking for, you know, all of these things.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I'm talking about is is is the shit that if you if you get intentional about it, if you get intentional about getting that shit out of your life, your life improves exponentially.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_00: Your performance, your goals, your whatever it is that you want out of this life, you can have whatever you want.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's true.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_00: You can have whatever you want.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to just keep doing this.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I don't really like my wife, and so I'm stuck doing this, and I got these shitty kids that are ungrateful, and they just give them their cell phones, and now we're sitting at dinner and everybody's on their phones and nobody's talking, all that stuff.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_00: Who wants that?
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_00: And if you don't, then do something about it.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_00: And if you don't, then that's on you.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_00: But you have the power to be able to do all of that stuff.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to run around at an eight if you don't want to.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_00: And and and and for a dude that's listening out there, I know you know what I'm talking about.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_00: For a woman that's out there listening, going, How do I have all of this shit on me?
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_00: I know you know what you're talking about what I'm talking about.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you don't know what builds up to the eight, right?
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you need to get curious about that.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um curiosity is is huge in that's in that perspective, but it's it's your work.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but you gotta know you're at an eight, right?
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you have to know that something's wrong.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that uh a really good one for a really good identifier is frustration.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_02: If you feel frustration, yeah, that's a great one.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you're you're you're too high up on the level, right?
• 35:23
  SPEAKER_02: You're you're you're you're too five boss.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_02: You're your past a five boss, right?
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_02: It you shouldn't be frustrated.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_02: Frustration is one of those things that if if if you're there, look at it as the opportunity that it is, right?
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_02: I I talk about being being overwhelmed and looking at that as an opportunity to identify places in your life that you or in your business or in your whatever that you can streamline and make it better so that you don't get overwhelmed.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_02: And frustration is kind of a a personal sensation of that same thing, right?
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_02: There's just whatever's going on, it just stop it.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_02: If you've got that feeling, look, look at you, right, first.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_02: You don't, don't, if you're frustrated with a set of circumstances, there's likely nothing that you would have, could have, or should have done to prevent those circumstances anyway.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_02: Too many things outside of your control.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_02: But the frustration that you feel is something that you 100% can control, right?
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_02: That's that's inside.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_02: So when you feel that, stop.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_02: All right, because because nobody wants to be frustrated, right?
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_02: Nobody wants to feel those feelings.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_02: So if you're having those feelings, you've got something that's wrong.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_02: You've got to figure out what it is.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_02: First place, inside, right?
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_02: What what what what's doing that, right?
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_02: And so the more you look, the more you can start establishing patterns.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_02: It's like, oh shit, every time this happens, I get this frustration.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, cool.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_02: Now we're making progress.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_02: Now now we're now found a pattern.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we found we found a pattern and a path at that point, right?
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_02: We can go we can go figure out what's what what's causing that.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_00: And and figuring out, you know, you finding ways throughout your day where you can intentionally use um some windshield time.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_00: Cameron calls it windshield time, right?
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_00: When he doesn't have music on, doesn't have his phone on, you know, goes for a drive or whatever, obviously, just in in between your life.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_00: But use that time to get curious and let your let your mind noodle around on some things.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_00: Something that triggered you recently, something that you're dealing with.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_00: Not from a defensive place, not from a oh, I can't believe this happened to me, from a curious perspective of what is this mirroring back to me.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and and and figure out how to do something about it, you know.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_00: That that windshield time can be that.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_00: It can go sit in a park and feed ducks.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_00: I get the old dudes in the park feeding ducks now.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_00: I get it, you know?
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, think of it like fasting.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I was making the the analogy about the invisible weight, like belly fat, right?
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_02: So think of think of think of your mental time like fasting.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_02: You're not bombarding it with with music or social media or conversations or anything else.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_02: You're just you're just gonna fast, right?
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_02: And let it let it let it do its thing, you know, let it let it clean itself, let it, you know, repair itself, let it, let it, let it do what it's what it's designed to do, right?
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_02: And and and just let it go.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_00: But if you're numbing out all the time, you wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is grab your phone, and the last thing you do is you're scrolling on social media until your phone hits you in your face, and then you're wondering why your life isn't performing the way you want it to, don't wonder it's giving you exactly what you ordered.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_02: 100% it's giving you exactly what you ordered.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_00: I I think the accountability component of it for whatever reason, people run from that.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_00: No judgment.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_00: I also, you know, have have lived in that, in that as well.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_00: But I look at it now and I think, God, that's where the power lives.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_00: You know, that's where the power lives.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_00: There's no power in victimhood.
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_00: And so if you're holding your victim card up real high, saying someone didn't this and someone didn't that, and I didn't get done right, and I didn't get okay, and then what happened?
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_00: And then what happened?
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna waste this gift of today.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna waste this life, you're gonna waste your light and your potential, you're gonna piss all that shit away.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_00: For the next exchange, right?
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly, so that you can keep tallying it up on your victim card?
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like, grow up.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we're not children anymore.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like grow up.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you you can get all the holes punched on a victim card and it doesn't get you anything.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly, exactly.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_00: But it's like if you take accountability accountability and say, what was my part?
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_00: Because I watch as everyone that I'm working with in life is going, I get it.
• 39:23
  SPEAKER_00: I get it, right?
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_00: I was the lunatic that that cannonballed first and then had all of these people at my table of life going, what the fuck's wrong with Anne?
• 39:31
  unknown: Right.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_00: I get that a lot, right?
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_00: And also I feel strongly enough about what I have figured out that feels like the cheat codes to life because I live the best day of my life every single day of my life.
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_00: And and everyone makes fun of me for that.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_00: But it's because I'm as close to based as I can be on a daily basis.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_02: They can make as much fun of you as you want to, as they want to, whatever.
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_02: The fact of the matter is, a lot of those same people have approached you and said, Yeah, I don't know what you're doing, but I want in.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_00: Shout out, shout out to Julio.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_00: So so this is a funny story.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I have I have a person that's close to me in my life, and we've gotten closer over the last couple of years.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I was walking by one day, and he pulls me aside and he says, Um, I don't know what you're doing, but I want in.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_00: And he and I started having monthly lunches and just talking about all of the things, and there's no shame in any way that you feel or anything that happened to you, or any of that stuff.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_00: What are we gonna do about it?
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_00: We're not gonna just keep numbing on top of it.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't do any good.
• 40:35
  unknown: Right.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so I've had those people in my life that just continue to do it.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_00: And and also the results speak for themselves.
• 40:41
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still batting a thousand for those that don't understand the baseball uh reference.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_00: That means perfect score.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_02: Doesn't mean hasn't missed yet.
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_00: Hasn't missed yet.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_00: Doesn't mean I'm doing everything perfectly, but it means everyone that I've worked with is on the side that goes, holy shit, my eyes are open.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_00: I get it.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_00: I and then they're working on themselves with whatever guidance it is.
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I say your individual scavenger hunt is for you.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_00: And it's different for everybody, right?
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_00: Mine included, ayahuasca, breath work, um, you know, sound healing, healing modalities, lots of therapy to get trauma and shit out, lots of accountability, lots of journaling, lots of personal improvement books, all of those things.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_00: But you just start pulling at that piece of yarn that's hanging off the sweater of your own sweater, and just start following wherever that goes.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_00: And be willing to allow whatever comes up, because there's a lot of stuff that needs to happen where you go back and hold space for certain versions of yourself where it wasn't fair.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because we go through life when you're doing this whole I'm fine, it's fine, everything's fine.
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_00: But what you don't realize is maybe that eight-year-old boy who did get touched by his uncle, right?
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_00: Uh go ahead and put that in in perspective.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_00: Look at your eight-year-old son and then some creepy uncle that you know, and then put that into perspective.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_00: Should he have had to deal with that?
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's what I got fucked up is, you know, looking at these things where it's like, it wasn't that bad.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_00: And then I put our nieces or our nephew at certain ages that I dealt with certain things and thought, how would I feel if that happened to them?
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_00: And it makes Mama Bear come out real hard.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_00: And so maybe I'm not protective of myself in that way, but holding space for that version of myself so that you can release that emotion associated with that and feel that.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_00: Because for me, I didn't feel emotions.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_00: I just pushed them down and numbed on top of it.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_00: Pushed it down, numbed on top of it.
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_00: My numb of choice was alcohol and work, right?
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I can numb really good with those.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_00: Now I can very easily, after hanging up the alcohol and hanging up the workaholic stuff, which I still have a touch of, titch.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, well, the alcohol hung that up.
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_00: But I can definitely switch that to food, right?
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like you look at people who have all of these different addictions and they're trying to fix the addiction.
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_00: And what I would encourage you to do is look at the root.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_00: Look at the root.
• 42:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you have a porn addiction or a gambling addiction or a food addiction or a not, you know, doom scrolling or like whatever those addictions are, it's not about that one thing.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's about whatever the root is that you're trying to numb on top of and not feel.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_00: And so you have to feel the things.
• 43:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's the invisible weight.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_00: You have to let those things up.
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_00: You can either do that by talking with someone, you can do that by processing and journaling, windshield time, whatever that looks like.
• 43:15
  SPEAKER_00: And the work will come find you.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_00: People are always like, where's the work?
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_00: Don't worry.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_00: Just stop putting shit on top of it and stop numbing.
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_00: It will find you.
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_00: It will come up.
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's like helium balloons in the bottom of a swimming pool.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_00: Just stop pushing it down.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_02: I love the story about the the rats that they keep in the room.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, please tell that one.
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I love that too.
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_02: And what what you hit on there is is very fitting as far as that goes.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_02: And so it the the story goes something along the lines of the rats in a laboratory where you know they're in the little little rat cages in the in the lab with the dudes and the white coats and all that, and they give them they give them an option when they're in these cages.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_02: They can they can have a clean, fresh water, or they can have uh the water that's Got some some sort of narcotic in it, right?
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_02: And so every single time the rats in the cages they go for the narcotic water and they drink it, and you know, and they eventually end up dying or whatever, or you know, consume enough or the study's over, right?
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_02: So the so the rats opt for the narcotic every single time.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_02: And and and by extension, you know, we're supposed to understand that you know human beings also, you know, given that opportunity, are gonna opt for the narcotic, you know, every single time.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_02: Well, the one of the one of the white coats wasn't wasn't necessarily uh satisfied with how the parameters of the experiments were set up.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_02: And so what he did is he set up you know same choices of water, fresh water or narcotic water, but he turned the cages into areas where the rats had wheels to go run on and things to go play in, and you know, wood shavings to go burrow in, or you know, what whatever happy rats have when they're held in captivity, and you know, other rats to play with and and that kind of thing.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_02: And so in those circumstances, those rats didn't touch the narcotic water, they stayed and they drank the fresh water, right?
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_02: It was uh it's almost as if they they knew what was what was going on, and they knew they were numbing, they knew they were doing something when they were in those little bitty cages.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_02: But it's not it's not about the the choice that you have.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_02: It's not about the rats are always gonna drink the narcotics or drink the fresh water, whatever.
• 45:38
  SPEAKER_02: It's about the cage, right?
• 45:39
  SPEAKER_02: So it was the cage, it was the environment that forced those rats to act in a particular way.
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_02: You change the environment, they act differently, right?
• 45:48
  SPEAKER_02: And so it's the it it's kind of the same way.
• 45:51
  SPEAKER_02: If you can, if you can put yourself in a in a different environment, you're probably going to react differently, right?
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_02: So it's not it's not just the same old, you know, I'm gonna numb on top of this and numb on top of that or whatever.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_02: I need to take myself out of that.
• 46:04
  SPEAKER_02: I need to deal with what's going on in my head, get to a different place, and I'm not gonna go back to those same patterns, right?
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_02: I've got something else that's gonna keep me, you know, focused somewhere else.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not gonna, I'm not I I know I'm not gonna go, you know, take the slow death route.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, and also I think people that if you open your eyes enough to realize that you are numbing out and what that numbing feels like, I think it's a pretty easy sell at that point for whatever the fuck it is I'm peddling, uh, which is just happiness.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's free.
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_00: And also, well, we were talking about it, and it's the price is you have to be willing to to do the things.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_00: And for some people, that's the price is too high.
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_00: But um, yeah, I it's wild.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_00: If you're if you're able to open your eyes enough to realize that you're numbing out and realize what the difference is, what is possible if you don't just numb out.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you find yourself feeling sick and tired of being sick and tired, get a copy of my book.
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_00: Read it with someone else.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_00: Talk about the things that come up.
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because it isn't just reading a book, right?
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_00: I get it.
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_00: People think that they're supposed to like, oh, I'm gonna read a personal improvement book and that's supposed to do anything.
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_00: Listen to it.
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_00: Read it, journal about it, take notes, start getting curious about what it's bringing up for you.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_00: When something gets, you know, triggers you.
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_00: Why is that triggering you?
• 47:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because literally 100% of the things that I've found that triggered me had nothing to do with the other person.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's literally a mirror, which is good news, bad news, because it means everything that I need is within my four walls, right?
• 47:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't need people to type right in and say, oh, yeah, and God and whatever.
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_00: I believe God lives here, right?
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_00: You can leave you can believe he lives on a cloud, you know, some magical cloud with the creepy uncles that got into heaven that were touching people when they were kids.
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_00: You can believe whatever the fuck you want to.
• 47:50
  SPEAKER_00: I believe God lives in here, right?
• 47:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so when I say you have everything in your four walls that you need to be amazing, he's already in there, right?
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_00: We're all God.
• 48:01
  SPEAKER_02: Just think about all the bears in heaven.
• 48:05
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no, no, no.
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_00: Wiley won't be happy about it.
• 48:08
  SPEAKER_02: Nobody's gonna be happy about that.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_00: So here's what we're gonna do.
• 48:11
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 48:11
  SPEAKER_00: I have a few uh cards here that that our producer put in order.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_00: Not by looking, just by pulling the cards.
• 48:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so we're just gonna go through.
• 48:23
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, no, we're just gonna go in order.
• 48:24
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 48:24
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 48:25
  SPEAKER_02: Just gonna run until time runs out.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_00: Until time runs out.
• 48:27
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 48:27
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_02: All right, where do we have?
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I card number five is your apology moment that happened recently that I have on video.
• 48:36
  SPEAKER_00: What a I apologize at the dining room table.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_02: Am I feeling okay?
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_00: Don't don't make me get it out and show it.
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I don't remember, so I need I need a hint.
• 48:45
  SPEAKER_02: I apologize for something.
• 48:46
  SPEAKER_02: I remember that.
• 48:47
  SPEAKER_00: Circus tent.
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_00: Cameron used to be very tied into politics, very tied into politics on all the channels, on listening, on all the things.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_00: And it would really piss him off, as it would if you were plugged into the circus that is politics.
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_00: And uh and recently, in the last two years, he has slowly uh dismantled that.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_00: Slowly, because there's things where you pull back in, you're like, I'm just watching the news section or the business section.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_02: I know there's there's a lot of that, there's a lot of current events on the business news channel.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_02: I can't help it.
• 49:22
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 49:22
  SPEAKER_00: So we were sitting at our dining room table uh this week, and out of the blue, we were talking about the circus tent, I think Jason Lamar's episode and like the politics, and people get real bent on that.
• 49:33
  SPEAKER_00: And as soon as you say, yeah, but and then you start defending your side, know that you're wrong.
• 49:38
  SPEAKER_00: That's just my personal opinion.
• 49:39
  SPEAKER_00: Not that you're wrong, just that it's a circus and they're just they're stealing your focus and your attention.
• 49:43
  SPEAKER_02: Nobody's listening after that.
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_02: No one cares.
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_02: Nobody cares.
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so and so Cameron apologized to me for that and acknowledged that he was awake and that it's way better on this side.
• 49:54
  SPEAKER_00: Just just tell tell the listeners and the and the then the viewers at home.
• 49:58
  SPEAKER_02: Well, it's pretty simple, right?
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_02: At the end of the day, all of those circumstances are not within your control.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 50:05
  SPEAKER_02: There's nothing that you're gonna do.
• 50:06
  SPEAKER_02: Right so, and I'm not ad advocating for people not to, you know, to vote, right?
• 50:12
  SPEAKER_02: We were supposed to vote, right?
• 50:14
  SPEAKER_02: But but but we don't have any control over the circumstances, any of it.
• 50:21
  SPEAKER_02: And so we spend all this time getting worked up about it.
• 50:24
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I did.
• 50:24
  SPEAKER_02: I was, you know, just throwing Skittles out the windows, getting, you know, all crazy and and worked up, and you know, so much of the opportunity cost of thought, right?
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not thinking about things that are good, and I'm not thinking about ways to accomplish new things and create new things.
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_02: I'm busy with my brain stuck on a bunch of political bullshit that I can't change.
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_02: Like that's stupid.
• 50:47
  SPEAKER_02: Like there's it is there is a no bigger waste of time than that.
• 50:51
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 50:51
  SPEAKER_02: And and and I see people that just get crazy worked up over, you know, political takes on current events and stuff like that, and whatever.
• 51:00
  SPEAKER_02: And it's like, man, I've been there, you know, and I feel for you.
• 51:04
  SPEAKER_02: And and and please do whatever you need to do to find a way through that, to find a way past that, because you're killing yourself.
• 51:11
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you are robbing yourself of enjoyment of everything by getting wrapped up in that shit, and it doesn't matter, and you can't control it.
• 51:19
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and not only that, but and and and I am sorry.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so now it's definitely recording.
• 51:26
  SPEAKER_00: I told him I'm like, those are my Skittles, man.
• 51:28
  SPEAKER_00: Big Dog, those are my Skittles, right?
• 51:30
  SPEAKER_02: Because it's well, if I choose to give them to you, they're my Skittles.
• 51:33
  SPEAKER_02: I earned them.
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_02: Those are my Skittles.
• 51:35
  SPEAKER_00: You can say it however you want to.
• 51:37
  SPEAKER_02: Well, half.
• 51:37
  SPEAKER_00: You can you can half of those Skittles are you?
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_00: But here's one thing the opportunity cost, I'm glad that you mentioned that, because that is absolutely if you decide that you want to plug into the circus of politics or media or whatever it is, if you decide you want to plug into that, that's fine.
• 51:52
  SPEAKER_00: But understand that those same skittles that you plug into that, you could be using on advancing your life, achieving your goals, finding your purpose, doing things that are fun, being playful.
• 52:02
  SPEAKER_02: Like all of your let's call it what it is, right?
• 52:05
  SPEAKER_02: Those people are just as addicted to the numbing that comes from plugging into the political experience as the dude that's you know overdosed on a heroin laying in the fucking gutter, right?
• 52:15
  SPEAKER_02: You're not you're not any better or any different than that person.
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_02: You're the same person.
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_02: Don't judge, don't judge the heroin junkie.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_02: You're doing the same thing.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you're doing the exact same thing.
• 52:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's a good that's a good point.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's a good point.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's a good bitch clap.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just here to serve medicine to people, and that's it, right?
• 52:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like that that's the medicine.
• 52:30
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, right.
• 52:30
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, perfect.
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_02: All right, what's next?
• 52:32
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 52:33
  SPEAKER_02: What else am I gonna apologize for?
• 52:36
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't that fun?
• 52:37
  SPEAKER_00: Let me see.
• 52:38
  SPEAKER_00: There's not enough No.
• 52:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm gonna tell the I'm gonna tell the last, we're gonna do we're gonna end on this one.
• 52:44
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, oh wow.
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_00: This is the this is the uh we recently went on a trip.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_00: So Cameron and I went to Apache Lake and spent um some time there.
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_00: And this is funny for me because um this story brings up for me.
• 52:58
  SPEAKER_00: There are a lot of people on this planet that don't have the stomach to do the things that need to be done.
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_00: And that's okay.
• 53:06
  SPEAKER_00: But then if you wouldn't mind sitting in the cheap seats and motherfuckering those of us that do have the stomach to do the things that would be done, that would be great.
• 53:15
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna set the story up.
• 53:17
  SPEAKER_00: So we go to a place where there's no cell phones and we unplug for a couple of days.
• 53:22
  SPEAKER_00: And if you've never done that before, do it gently because it's pretty jarring and also amazing.
• 53:28
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, we got to our campsite, which was in the middle of an improved campsite, and uh we had barely been unloaded for about an hour.
• 53:37
  SPEAKER_00: We're there for our anniversary trip for 22 years.
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's what Yahoos like us do for our anniversary, I guess.
• 53:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I couldn't be happier about it, which is wild.
• 53:46
  SPEAKER_00: We're sitting there, I'm laying on the ground on this rug right in front of our camper, and and Cameron's sitting on a rock.
• 53:51
  SPEAKER_00: And as I look up, there's a there's a snake that's just a few feet from Cameron, about three feet long.
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_00: This snake is.
• 53:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I can't tell from where I am, but on the way up there, Cameron is telling me it's rattlesnake season, and just be cognizant of that, which I'm not necessarily a snake fan, although I did pet one last year and it did change my life.
• 54:11
  SPEAKER_00: So uh I said to him very calmly, I stayed very calm, which is wild for me.
• 54:16
  SPEAKER_00: I said, uh, there's a snake right next to you.
• 54:19
  SPEAKER_00: And and I didn't move.
• 54:21
  SPEAKER_00: I stayed there to kind of figure out what was going on, and he looks over and he goes, It's a bad one.
• 54:25
  SPEAKER_00: And so I kind of slowly back away from where I am, and I I let the uh I went and got on a picnic table, so I wasn't on the ground, and I let the the guy that was next to us know because he had a dog that was running around, like, hey, there's a rattlesnake over here, please keep back.
• 54:40
  SPEAKER_00: And on the other side of the camper are some kids playing, and there's we're in a campsite, it's it's a big place.
• 54:45
  SPEAKER_00: So Cameron assesses the situation while this other man is you could just feel his emotion, his emotional intelligence was not amazing, but God bless him.
• 54:55
  SPEAKER_00: He was getting real worked up, you're gonna kill that thing, right?
• 54:56
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I got my dogs over here, and da da da da.
• 54:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just like, boss, chill out.
• 55:00
  SPEAKER_00: Cameron's got it, like just step away, like it's fine.
• 55:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and and so Cameron took care of it, right?
• 55:05
  SPEAKER_00: And so this is my this is my show and tell because Cameron got me a um a rattle for my anniversary and and did what needed to be done to kill this rattlesnake.
• 55:18
  SPEAKER_00: Now, um if you're listening and you're a big fan of animals, I'm so sorry that that needed to happen.
• 55:26
  SPEAKER_00: Because what would have happened had that not been taken care of in the middle of a campsite is that a child would have got uh got bit, a dog would have got bit, like it would have not ended well.
• 55:36
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and so could he have chosen other things?
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_00: You uh you don't need to write in to tell me about that.
• 55:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's how that story ended.
• 55:43
  SPEAKER_00: But Cameron is one of the human beings on this planet, and I surround myself with men of this caliber because it's important to me that are willing to do the hard thing that a lot of people don't have the stomach for.
• 55:55
  SPEAKER_00: And for that, I've never been more honored to stand next to him and do life because he was doing the right thing in that situation, what he believed was the right thing in that situation, so that no one got hurt.
• 56:07
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 56:07
  SPEAKER_00: Uh no one needs from the outside or the cheap seats to then say, well, you should have done it this way, or it could have been this, or that's not the right thing to do.
• 56:15
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't have the stomach for it, go ahead and stay in the cheap seats.
• 56:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's okay.
• 56:19
  SPEAKER_00: But then don't motherfucker those of us that do have what it takes to do the hard thing.
• 56:26
  SPEAKER_00: But that comes up over and over again in life for different stuff.
• 56:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I watch as my father, my brothers, my husband, the the people that we do life with will do the hard things.
• 56:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, is it the popular things?
• 56:38
  SPEAKER_00: Not generally.
• 56:39
  SPEAKER_00: Not generally, right?
• 56:40
  SPEAKER_00: Is it the right thing?
• 56:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 56:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so just maybe consider that for different things in your life.
• 56:46
  SPEAKER_00: If you're maybe not the one that's has the stomach for it, it's okay.
• 56:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay to sit that one out.
• 56:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay to sit that one out, right?
• 56:52
  SPEAKER_02: There's sit it all the way out.
• 56:54
  SPEAKER_02: We don't need we don't need your comments.
• 56:55
  SPEAKER_02: Right, exactly.
• 56:56
  SPEAKER_00: I think I think a lot of people are very quick to comment about how they would have done something.
• 57:01
  SPEAKER_02: I prefer a simple thanks.
• 57:02
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 57:03
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks, no, no kids or or dogs got dead.
• 57:06
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we were in the middle of nowhere with no cell phone reception.
• 57:08
  SPEAKER_00: If someone had gotten bit, that's game over, right?
• 57:11
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if people understand how rattlesnakes work, but they're you get bit and then you die.
• 57:16
  SPEAKER_00: That's just how that works.
• 57:17
  SPEAKER_02: So it can happen that way.
• 57:20
  SPEAKER_02: Like people survive rattlesnakes.
• 57:23
  SPEAKER_00: Do they?
• 57:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know that.
• 57:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 57:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 57:26
  SPEAKER_02: Look at this.
• 57:27
  SPEAKER_02: It's not an automatic death.
• 57:30
  SPEAKER_00: I thought it was.
• 57:31
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 57:32
  SPEAKER_00: Well, then why'd you kill the rattlesnake?
• 57:36
  SPEAKER_02: Because I was hungry.
• 57:37
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, oh, oh my god, I forgot that part.
• 57:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so then this animal goes down to the lake and cleans the damn thing and then serves it to me for dinner.
• 57:44
  SPEAKER_00: Cameron and I are unique people and we have stories for days, and uh I don't I don't share with you.
• 57:50
  SPEAKER_02: I got a little chefy with that snake, is what I did.
• 57:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 57:53
  SPEAKER_00: And then the guy whose dog got saved was like, oh my god, that was amazing.
• 57:56
  SPEAKER_00: And then I ate the damn thing and said it was better than the chicken, and Cameron took that as my return gift to him for our anniversary gift.
• 58:03
  SPEAKER_00: So it was we Cameron and I have a lot of fun, but we definitely we live uh uh full lives and we're not afraid to do the things.
• 58:10
  SPEAKER_02: And so um take care of business when it shows itself and that's it.
• 58:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know?
• 58:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, pretty, pretty crazy.
• 58:15
  SPEAKER_00: So anything else you want to say before we end this thing?
• 58:19
  SPEAKER_02: I don't have anything to add as far as that goes.
• 58:21
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know how you end with that or how you how you've topped that.
• 58:24
  SPEAKER_00: The rattlesnake story was pretty good.
• 58:26
  SPEAKER_01: All right, yeah.
• 58:26
  SPEAKER_00: So all right, well, that's our thank you, Cameron, for coming and and doing this.
• 58:30
  SPEAKER_00: I realized you're gonna be able to do that.
• 58:31
  SPEAKER_00: You're welcome as always.
• 58:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm happy to when I tell people that that you're coming to do this, they don't believe me because they think like, what did I what dirt do I have on you?
• 58:37
  SPEAKER_02: What yeah, I'll never tell.
• 58:39
  SPEAKER_00: I know what uh ammo do I have because you coming up here and not only apologizing when the cameras are rolling, but also acknowledging how big of a difference it is because of the work that you're doing and the mirror concept and all of that, those are big things.
• 58:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I I really think that you know what we were hitting on as far as that goes with these people that just get you know super involved and super worked up in that whole you know political circus, right?
• 59:06
  SPEAKER_02: It's all it's it's it's an addiction.
• 59:08
  SPEAKER_02: It it really is.
• 59:09
  SPEAKER_02: Those guys are or or gals or people, whatever.
• 59:12
  SPEAKER_02: They're they're avoiding some things by getting involved in that in that kind of stuff, especially the the people that are super super rabid about it.
• 59:20
  SPEAKER_02: And that's uh that's a maybe you should look inside yourself there, because those are the people that are trying not, they're just trying to impose their will on other people.
• 59:28
  SPEAKER_02: The carents, but the carens are not.
• 59:30
  SPEAKER_02: They're causing all the problems.
• 59:31
  SPEAKER_02: They're causing all the problems, they're causing all the problems, right?
• 59:34
  SPEAKER_02: So you're not gonna make a difference, probably, you know, in in that arena.
• 59:39
  SPEAKER_02: Not in that arena, so you know fix yourself.
• 59:42
  SPEAKER_02: If your your side of the streets clean, you know, everything else is gonna is gonna is gonna work out like it's supposed to, right?
• 59:49
  SPEAKER_02: For for you and for and for everybody around you.
• 59:51
  SPEAKER_02: But you can't you you you you can't be stuck in that world and have that kind of time spent and have that kind of negative effect on everything around you and not understand it for what it is.
• 1:00:04
  SPEAKER_02: It's the same addiction as some as a junkie.
• 1:00:06
  SPEAKER_00: Well, and if and if you look at this world and you think God things are bad out there and and we need to change something, I I agree with you, and I'll tell you where to start.
• 1:00:13
  SPEAKER_00: Fix your own shit.
• 1:00:15
  SPEAKER_00: Fix your own shit.
• 1:00:16
  SPEAKER_00: That's how you make a difference.
• 1:00:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because since I've started fixing my own shit, I'm able to be a positive impact on people around me.
• 1:00:21
  SPEAKER_00: And it's a ripple effect that really has some some staying.
• 1:00:25
  SPEAKER_00: It is.
• 1:00:26
  SPEAKER_02: It's your your ripple effect has been profound.
• 1:00:28
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks.
• 1:00:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a good cannibal.
• 1:00:31
  SPEAKER_00: Uh that's our time for today.
• 1:00:32
  SPEAKER_00: If something hits, stirred, or lit a fire under you and you've got thoughts, questions, or a story you're ready to share, slide into our DMs or email us at ladies at let's get naked podcast.com.
• 1:00:42
  SPEAKER_00: If you believe in these conversations, help us keep them rolling.
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_00: Follow, share, rate review, do all the things.
• 1:00:47
  SPEAKER_00: We will catch you next time.
• 1:00:48
  SPEAKER_00: That's a wrap.