Latest / Every Pawprint! Every Story! / When Compassion Shows Up: Jean’s Story of Love, Loss, and Being Seen

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When Compassion Shows Up: Jean’s Story of Love, Loss, and Being Seen · Every Pawprint! Every Story!

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, wherever you might be joining us today.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: My name is Dan Popovic.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_01: I am the host of Every Pot Print, Every Story.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's a new podcast that just getting started.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: And really, what this podcast or what this show is about, it's it's a weekly conversation space where people honor their pets.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_01: Uh they've lost, celebrate, celebrate the joy pets bring, support one another through pet grief.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: Each episode centers on a guest's memories, the rituals that keep those pet pets present in our daily life, and the lessons of love and loss that these pets teach us.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm excited today to welcome Jean from Jefferson, Georgia to the show.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: Gene, how are you?
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Good, good.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for having me.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm excited.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: Awesome.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we'll we'll jump right into so how many fur kids do you have today?
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: Today I have two.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I actually have one of them right here.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: She uh she's a lap dog.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: Nice.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: This is Frankie, Frankie Luna.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we have Farah Francesca, and then we've lost two dogs, Fiona and uh fair uh flower.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: They're all Fs.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: So it gets it's easy to get them mixed up.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: But yep, so we've had four.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: So four, okay, and then all F.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm curious with the naming, how what's the what's the convention or the thinking behind that?
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: Well, Shrek is my favorite movie, and so I named the first one after Fiona, and then I thought, you know, I just I like the F theme.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: So we we really struggled.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: Flower was uh was a tough one.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um our daughter wanted to name her Jasmine, or my husband wanted to name her Jasmine.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: My daughter said, I don't like that princess.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: So we said, Well, how about flower?
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because jasmine is a flower, and then we just went from there.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: So okay.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: And is it the same breed or have you kind of um three Maltese and one Malty Pooh?
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: So how did they so we'll focus on the current ones and then yeah, we'll get to the the ones we lost and talk about that the those.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so how did the the current ones come to be a part of the family?
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: Well, Frankie is um, and I'm not I'm not going to get emotional about this.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: I have been talking to myself, just hold it together.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, Frankie was because we lost Fiona.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: And so um we can talk a little bit more about that, like you said, but she is the she is who healed my heart after we lost Fiona.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, Farah was a complete surprise.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: My husband, one day we went out to eat.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: He pulled into a back then they had puppy stores.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: I know that's not as common now, but he pulled into the parking lot of a puppy store and said, You want to go in there and look?
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Are you wanting to come out with the dog?
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because you don't go into a puppy store unless you want to come out with a dog.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: No, let's just look.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: We came out with Farah.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, she was the only little girl.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: They had all little boy multi-poos with her.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: And the minute we walked in, she started screaming at us.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: And so we knew that it was time for her to come home with us.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then flower, uh, we got her because we loved Fiona so much.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: We just fell in love with her and we thought, we've got to have another one of these.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: Well, Flower could not be more different than Fiona.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: They're both Maltese, but they were exact opposites in personality, in you know, preferences and everything.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: So um it's been it's been wonderful.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: They all could not be more different in in how they act and what they do, even though they're very similar in in breed and what have you.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: So, like what like so what are like some of the the differences in actions?
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I I say farah, I'm looking over there because she's laying in the bed on the floor next to me.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she has the poodle toude, she is full of poodle attitude.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's funny.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: So that sweet Maltese demeanor, she's got that a little bit, and then most 90% poodle.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: So um she's the one that keeps us all in line.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, if we do a group hug, she gets very upset because she thinks that we're fighting.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: And so she screams and yells, and then when it's time for dinner, she makes sure that we have the food out.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, however, she wants to have food in a bowl and on a napkin.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: So if it's not, yeah, yeah, very much so.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: If it's not on a napkin, she will scream until we put it on a napkin and then she will eat.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: So it's they're just so much fun.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: But the the Maltese breed, um we picked that because of them being hypoallergenic.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but also we really did not want to get a pet that we couldn't take care of and keep forever.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: So we did a lot of research and we made sure that you know their their personality and their preferences and everything would fit into our life because we did not want to make that mistake.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: I I know a lot of people who do, you know, you you fall in love with the idea of having something and then it doesn't fit in your life, and you're like, oops, can't do that.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: No, we made sure and certain before we ever got into this that this would be the type of animal that we would be able to keep forever.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: And and we were we were able to do that.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_01: So what's the no very smart, yeah, and especially in doing that research.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um what's what's I'm curious?
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know a lot ton about the breed, so and that's what's fascinating and what's fun about doing this show is just learning more about breeds and preferences with folks.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_01: What's kind of the typical age span?
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um, they usually lived 12 to 14.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and and what both of ours that we've lost live till 12.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: So I was hoping for the 14 end of it, but we we got 12 wonderful years from both of them.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, uh with you there, definitely with you there.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then so the two current ones today, they they completely bonded right away and get along and no like no infighting or family fighting.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I wouldn't go that far.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um Frankie is a diva, and she is very spoiled.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I know this, I'm okay with it.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not ashamed of it.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, like I said, she healed my heart, so she gets whatever she wants.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, Farah is completely independent.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I have one in my lap, one over there.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: She does not like to sit in my lap, she does not like to cuddle, she wants her ears scratched, but that's about as far as she goes um with you know the involvement with us.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: But um, Frankie is all over me all the time.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: She is very much um in my lap all the time.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: She's very jealous, they're both very jealous.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: But Frankie's very little.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um Farah is she's like almost 12 now.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: So she's grown.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: Frankie is five, so she wants to play, and Farah wants to have no part of that.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: So it's I I don't want to say they don't get along, but they just have a different way of showing their love for each other.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, the the the different in ages too, like you said, one wants to play, the other one wants to chill.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um definitely get that.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: Is there a is there a fun habit or ritual that that you do with both of them or or something different with either one of them?
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: What I find very funny is if we open a Ziploc bag, they know that is cheese.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: Even if it's not cheese, if we open a Ziploc bag, they both come running to the kitchen and they want cheese.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um it's like nothing I've ever seen.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: We we literally have to be careful when we open a bag because they will come in here and dance around, you know, begging and begging for cheese.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um that's the that's the thing that unites them.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: But um, you know, they're just very, they're very funny.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: They're very engaged with us.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: When we go to the living room to sit down, um, Frankie will crawl up on my lap and she'll paw at my leg until I lay lift the seat, the or the not the seat, the you know, leg rest thing, and she nestles in to my lap.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, Farah has no routine for that.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: She will lay wherever she chooses at the moment, you know, and it's it's all up in the air.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: But it's amazing how different they are, but how much we love them so much.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, you just get hooked.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: And it's funny too, because when we my daughter's away at college now, but for the longest time it was me, my husband, and my daughter, and we weren't satisfied until we had three dogs because we each wanted a dog, you know.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, they of course choose who they want to be with and who their owner is, but it really worked out perfectly because Fiona was my dog 100%.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: Flower was my daughter's, and Farah is my husband's.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: So we we all had, you know, we all had a dog.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: And now, of course, my daughter's away at college, and we lost flower recently, so we have two.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: So we each have our own dog.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's perfect.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: Do they do they get you both up like at the same time every day?
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we get them up.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, they like to sleep, um, and they sleep with us.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: We have a little dog bed, so they sleep in the in the middle of our bed with us.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so this morning, as a matter of fact, I couldn't sleep very well, so I woke up early and I had to get them up.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, hey, let's go outside, you know, start the day.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: But um, they're they're very relaxed, very chill for the most part, and really easy to deal with.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: You know, they're not, I I hear a lot of people say, Oh, my dog gets me up every day at five.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, no, our dogs are sleeping when we sleep, and then when we get up, they get up, and you know, they're they're very easy to to deal with for the most part.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: And then in in the evenings, is there kind of a routine of oh, it's five o'clock, they've got that clock and they're ready to kind of relax on the couch and just you know, unwind.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_01: So it's kind of yeah.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and it's funny I'll say, because I work from home, my husband does for the most part too.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll say, All right, girls, let's go to work.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: And they run into the office and they have a bed in there, and they run in and they get in the bed.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's not long before Fair's in my lap, though.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she will literally sit in a ball on my lap all day.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: And she's like a little heater, you know.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: She keeps me warm.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: But um, when we're done working, I'll say, All right, girls, let's go in the living room.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: And they run, you know, uh bedtime.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: All right, girls, let's go to bed.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: They run to the bedroom.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's they're really, they're amazing.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: They're just amazing.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's awesome.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_01: We've we've got some similar experience, but I no, I love your your cheese and the ziploc um story because you know, we we've got that um similar thing, right, with the the banana routine in the mornings.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we go to try to get a banana for ourselves, and the sound of the peel, the peeling of that banana, boy, do they come running.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_01: But what's even more challenging, at least with with Marshall, is the onslaught of saliva, just waiting.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, oh goodness, I gotta, you gotta clean the floor up afterwards.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: That's adorable.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: But um, to your point, yeah, we'll we'll uh you know hit the hard hard subject.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_01: We'll we'll keep our we'll keep our composure, but uh talk about the that uh phenomenal picture you have behind you.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that picture was one of the very first days we got Fiona.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: She was almost a year old when we got her, so she wasn't fully puppy.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um, our daughter was about four or five years old.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so um she just was crazy about the dog.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: And my husband said, Let's grab a picture of them, you know, and that was the picture.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: So, of course, when we lost her, I found that frame and we keep that here in the kitchen.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so yeah, it was it was very unexpected with her.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she woke up, we woke up one day to her like coughing, you know, and she she couldn't stop.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: And so we jumped up and the vet, of course, wasn't open.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: It was really early.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: So we waited, and as soon as they opened, we called and we said, something's wrong.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this was in 2021, so we were still dealing with COVID, so we couldn't take her in.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: We had to drop her off at the curb, which was devastating.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I I really hate that to this day.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: I wish we could have gone in with her.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I'm not saying what I would have been able to do about it, but I I would have loved to have been inside of there as it was.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we dropped her off.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: We came home.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: We were about 10 minutes from there, but as soon as we pulled in the driveway, they called and said there's nothing that we can do.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: So we sat in the car and cried and cried, got out of the car.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: And before we walked into the house, we cried and cried.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we we were just all crushed.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: It was horrible.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, at that time, the manager that I had is a different manager than I have now, although I work at the same company.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: But um, I had called her and said, Hey, we're having some problems with my dog.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: I I need to take her to the vet and everything.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: So, of course, after that happened, she called to check on me and I said it it didn't go well and I need to take the rest of the day off.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: She's like, Absolutely.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she was really great after that.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: She called me the next day and she's like, How are you?
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: I said, Not great.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: She said, What do you need to do?
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, if I can, I work because I need to distract myself, but I cannot talk to anyone.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: I cannot be in a meeting.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: You know, if I open my mouth to speak, I'm I'm not gonna be able to deal with it.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: So she was great.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: She said, Do what you need to do, um, take the time you need, which was such a blessing.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: I I don't know that every manager would be that way.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: But um, she she gave me that time.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: And then, of course, I could not rest until I figured out how to memorialize her.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, we had we had brought her home and we were going to bury her here.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I I remember just days past that I was like scrolling through my phone.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: What can I do?
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: What can I get?
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: What can I find to really set a place for her?
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we found a little place down in Atlanta that had they made, you know, or had sold um stones and benches and fountains and things like that.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: So we went there that Saturday and they had a beautiful stone bench that had um hummingbirds on it.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: And we bought that.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I said to my husband, I need it out there today.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted it.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's like I just couldn't relax until I figured out what to do.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so we put it out there, it's in the corner of the yard, and um it Fiona loved to run around in the yard, that was her thing.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: So we put it in a beautiful spot where it just there's a beautiful view of the whole front yard, and and that's where she is.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: And um, then about two years later, we lost flower, and she's in the same spot.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: We have little, you know, places for both of them.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: But um with flower, it was the opposite, of course.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she got really in bad health, you know, she she just declined very slowly.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I didn't know how bad she was.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: My husband did.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, he could tell things weren't right with her.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: And the night before she passed, he took her outs, took them outside like he always did.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: And he didn't tell me, but she wouldn't potty or anything at all.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so the next day we could tell, you know, and we were here working from home and everything, and uh that was it was horrible.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to say it was worse or better than Fiona.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: Neither way is is good, but um, you know, I found her in her bed, and I I just screamed, cry, I won't share all that, but you can imagine it was horrific.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I'm so, so thankful that we had these wonderful dogs.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: I never had a dog growing up.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: My family didn't do pets intentionally, you know.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: We would feed stray cats, things like that, but nobody ever said, Hey, let's have a dog, you know.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I feel so thankful, so thankful.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: And now to have two amazing dogs, it's just a blessing.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I tell this one all the time, I said, You're just an angel wrapped in fur.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I really believe that.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: I really, you know, God sends us angels to help us and to protect us.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: And she's she protected my heart.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: She really did.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I just, I'm so grateful.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: So even though I miss them so much, I'm so happy to have had the opportunity to have them.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and um no, I appreciate you you sharing that story.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um what would you say?
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like, was there one or two things that they really taught you about yourself?
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: That is a great question.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I did not know that I could love so much something that was not a person.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um and that sounds weird, but again, I never had pets.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: But I mean, my family laughs at me because I'm like dog crazy.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I'm just crazy about them.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: And my family, the members that have dogs, they didn't when my husband and I got married.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't I'm not saying that I influenced that, but but they definitely recognize, you know, that I'm a dog person.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: And they kind of laugh at me sometimes because I'll be like, oh, you know, we're watching a movie or something.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, oh, I don't really care if the person gets hurt, but don't hurt the dog.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't mean that, but you know what I mean.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, you know, I'm so sensitive to animals, and and I think I've really grown to appreciate what amazing animals they are.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we we had a someone at work recently visit, um, he was a veteran and he had a service dog, and he was telling the story.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, everybody, there was not a dry eye in the room because he talked about how this dog saved his life.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: He was ready to kill himself.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: And he got this dog, and this dog has not only saved him emotionally, but he, I think it was like 41 times the dog has saved his life.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: And he he even told a story about how that very same dog realized that his daughter was choking on a grape and saved, I mean, got his attention to go and save her life.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, it's just incredible.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's just incredible.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think people realize what a blessing they truly are.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: And so that the capacity that I have to love an animal, it's amazing, you know.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't, I never would have thought that about myself.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know I would be one of those people, you know.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_01: I I I I get it.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm right there with you.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_01: Feel the same.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, I mean, I think that's beautiful.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_01: And um what I think is even fast-forwarding nowadays, too, is just like you mentioned, you know, you share the story about how the manager was so um empathetic, right?
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_01: And just so much, you know, reaching out, checking on you, you know, 10 years ago, maybe I I don't know that that might not have been the case.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_01: They somebody might have looked at you like it's just a dog.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, absolutely.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's not.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_01: So it's just it's interesting to see fast forwarding today with society is like, yeah, they're a huge part of our mental well-being and our physical health.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um and when we lose them, yeah, that's we all, you know, it's a profound impact.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um and to talk a little bit about that with the first one.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_01: It sounds like and and I wanna see how listeners of this can can learn from you and the things that you did, um, you know, to kind of uh help you with that that period of that loss, that pet grief.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: So it sounds like with the first one, you just needed you needed to keep busy to keep yourself occupied, but you didn't want to talk to anybody either.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: That's exactly right.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't, I couldn't verbalize.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, my best friend came over for a visit not long after that, and I was able to tell her the story, but it took me a really long time.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: And it was, I mean, I was just boohooing the whole time.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't, I just couldn't deal with it.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think it's important to do what you need to do to grieve.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody's different, and we all handle it a different way.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, I you know, I my daughter said, We need another dog, and I'm like, I cannot open my heart to another dog right now.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: I cannot do it.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: And it was a couple of months, and I'm ashamed of myself to tell this story, but it was a couple of months later, and she finally came to me, and she's about 16 at the time, and she said, Mom, I know you're grieving, but I'm grieving too.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: And it just hit me upside my head.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I have been so selfish.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't even think about it's not that I didn't think about her pain, but I'm thinking to myself, my pain is worse than yours.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: This is my dog, you know.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_00: But she said, I really think we would be happy with another dog.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: And and she was right, but it took me a little bit longer to get there.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I would just say to anyone, you know, don't be ashamed, don't be in a hurry.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I I often say that our society, we have a microwave mentality, we want it quick, fast, and in a hurry.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: Everything, you know.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I was going somewhere the other day, and on the road I noticed a funeral procession, and people weren't even stopping.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: You know, that used to be a thing.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: You pull and you stop and you show respect for the loss.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: You know, right?
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: We don't do that.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: I was reading that just the other day that the average company gives three to five days of bereavement for an immediate family member.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: So you lose your mom, you lose your dad, they give you three days off and they expect you to come back to work.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: And that's just not reasonable to me.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I would say take your time, you know, if if it takes you a year, grief, whatever you have to do, you know, and don't be ashamed, don't be embarrassed, and don't be made to feel like it's like you said, eh, it's just a dog.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's not just a dog, it might be my best friend, right?
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: You know.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and and I would just, I would, I actually had a chance the other day at church to talk to a lady whose dog had passed away.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I tried not to say too much.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_00: I don't didn't want to share my experience unless she asked me.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: I just let her talk.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_00: And let me tell you something, that was hard.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: It was like reading your book.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_00: I cried a lot.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: I had to put it down and come back to it because I'm like, this is killing me.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: This is breaking my heart, you know.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I really listened to her and I didn't cry.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: I was really proud of myself.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: I held it together for her.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it really helped her a lot just to be able to share, you know, um, just to be able to tell someone who was empathetic.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: So that I think that's the biggest thing.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: Just like the kids used to say, just do you, do what you need to do, you know.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: And if it's if it seems funny or strange to other people, that's okay.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: You know, these animals, like this lady at church, she had been through a heart attack and she said to me, that dog laid next to me every day while I was recovering from a heart attack.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, I'm like, oh no, they're wonderful.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: But but it just, it just, it really devastated her and it helped her to be able to share her story.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, whatever need whatever you need to do to to deal with it, don't be ashamed, just do it.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_01: No, thank you.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_01: That that's that's awesome.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's getting close to the to the end of the podcast, and that's probably a great way.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, that that was really the a good closing.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, how what you learn, how that can help others.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_01: And uh yeah, uh it's beautiful, like you said, everybody greets in a different way.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_01: And um, but that's what I that's what excites me about this and and the community and us getting out talking about it.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_01: Because I think like you said, it's like talking about it helps.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_01: And if you've got it, you know, if part of that is breaking down and crying, that's you know, get it out, talk about it.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um any um, you know, any any last minute uh thoughts on that, or it's just yeah, we we've got the two the two current ones and and and enjoying and really enjoying the time with them and um it's kind of what you can do, right?
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, just be thankful, be thankful for every day, you know.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're blessed enough to have a wonderful fur kid, it's just that much better.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: Life is that much better with them.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_00: And thank you.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for including me in this.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for all you do.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: This is wonderful.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_00: I really uh uh found a kindred spirit in you when I was reading your book, and I I thank you for that.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_01: No, I I appreciate it.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_01: I appreciate your your support as well.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's uh, you know, it's it's inspirational.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_01: And so I yeah, I I appreciate your support on that as well.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um all right, with that, well, don't go anywhere just yet.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um for the listeners, that's that's a wrap for today, and and be on the lookout for the next episode.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_01: And down in the comments, you can see more about um uh the book Gina's referring to, or definitely send me an email.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_01: I know would love to get you on this show as well and have a similar conversation and how it can kind of help everybody else.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you, Gene.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.