Latest / Impact Ready / 115. Overcoming Overwhelm
Transcript
- 0:02Welcome to Impact Ready, a show dedicated to helping you elevate
- 0:06your impact in the world. I'm Steph Safra, your host.
- 0:09Let's explore the power of showing up with intention and
- 0:12energy each day. This is for those who seek to
- 0:15make life truly meaningful. Get ready for impact.
- 0:22Good morning, team. Welcome to the Impact Ready
- 0:23podcast. So excited to be talking to you
- 0:26today. And in this episode, we are
- 0:29going to be talking about one of the most common feelings that
- 0:33people experience in life and that is the feeling of
- 0:37overwhelm. This episode is actually
- 0:39inspired by my good friend Jeremy.
- 0:42Jeremy was listening to podcasts from the past, telling me his
- 0:47insights about some of the things that we've been talking
- 0:49about in these episodes. And I said, hey, what do you
- 0:51want to hear about? And he's like, can you talk
- 0:53about overwhelm, The experience of overwhelm, the feelings of
- 0:57it? Jeremy works in the aerospace
- 0:59industry. It's a high pressure, high
- 1:01demand, fast moving, fast pace industry.
- 1:05And so he's no stranger to overwhelm.
- 1:07And I know that you are not either, and I am not either.
- 1:11We're all humans on this earth in this modern world, and we all
- 1:15experience stress to a degree. Stress can be good, it can be
- 1:19bad. Over time, chronic stress can
- 1:22lead to tremendous overwhelm. And we're going to talk about
- 1:25what that looks like, feels like, so that we can understand
- 1:27the experience of it and how to mitigate it a little bit.
- 1:31Psychologists are saying that more now than ever before,
- 1:35overwhelm is incredibly common. And there are some primary
- 1:39reasons why this happens to us, why we feel so overwhelmed.
- 1:43And I want to just highlight those quickly because what we
- 1:45have to acknowledge is this is part of our human experience for
- 1:50these very reasons. So let's let's talk about what
- 1:53they might be. So first of all, too much
- 1:55information, too much input creates a sense of overwhelm.
- 1:58And if you think about the amount of information that's
- 2:00coming at us all the time through all different avenues
- 2:05and just the overstimulation of the world, it's a lot for our
- 2:09brain to process. So that's a primary reason why
- 2:12people feel overwhelmed. Fatigue, another one, fatigue,
- 2:15burnout, exhaustion. We are sleeping less than we
- 2:19ever have and we have so many responsibilities and
- 2:22obligations. People just don't, they're not
- 2:25resting, they're not recovering. So fatigue is a, a really big
- 2:28issue. Constant input from devices.
- 2:32I'm I'm trying to remember what it felt like to be living in the
- 2:3590s when we didn't have cell phones, smartphones, and we
- 2:39didn't really have computers. We didn't really have the
- 2:42Internet and what that felt like.
- 2:44I'm trying to remember because our input from devices, it just,
- 2:50it wasn't there. It didn't exist.
- 2:51We had TV, we had video games, and we had landlines, and that
- 2:57was a much different state of being.
- 2:59And what I wish is that I could go back in time and feel that
- 3:02for like 5 to 10 minutes and just feel like what God, what
- 3:05would my brain feel like if I wasn't having all this
- 3:07information coming at me through screens?
- 3:10Which creates A tremendous amount of decision fatigue,
- 3:13which is another reason why people feel overwhelmed.
- 3:16There's so many decisions that we are making hundreds of
- 3:19decisions every minute, especially if we're scrolling.
- 3:23And that can be very overwhelming to the brain.
- 3:27Other reasons just really quickly, too many small tasks.
- 3:30There are just endless amounts of small tasks that we could be
- 3:34doing. Anxiety and overthinking
- 3:36contributes perfectionism and pressure, whether it's
- 3:40self-imposed or external. I know we've all felt this
- 3:43self-imposed pressure and expectations is a tremendous
- 3:48weight mentally. And that is a big reason,
- 3:51especially for my coaching clients that they will
- 3:53experience overwhelm is because of their own self-imposed
- 3:57expectations and pressure that they put on themselves.
- 4:00Of course, we have big life stressors that will contribute
- 4:03to overwhelm. And I would add to that global
- 4:06stressors, societal stressors, you know, because we have so
- 4:09much access to information, we have the ability to see so much
- 4:14more. And I think that is very
- 4:16overwhelming. It is, for me, neurodivergence.
- 4:20Different brains work differently and it creates a
- 4:23totally different level of overwhelm because of their
- 4:26executive functioning and the way that they process
- 4:29information. And then, you know, of course,
- 4:32I'll just say it again, the unrealistic expectations that we
- 4:37have of ourselves and of the world and other people can also
- 4:42create a lot of overwhelm because it creates struggle,
- 4:45suffering, resistance, and all that stuff can feel like a lot.
- 4:50So we can acknowledge that there are a lot of different reasons
- 4:55why our society is experiencing more overwhelm now than ever and
- 5:00why we as individuals can feel susceptible to overwhelm.
- 5:04It's because we're living in an environment that is conducive to
- 5:07overwhelm. If we can think about overwhelm
- 5:10as just part of the experience, then sometimes I think that can
- 5:15be helpful because I think it's unrealistic to feel like we're
- 5:18immune to it. I think that we set ourselves up
- 5:20for failure to say that we will never experience overwhelm.
- 5:24The best of the best, the highest performers, the greatest
- 5:27thought leaders out there, they all experience overwhelm.
- 5:30It's just they've gotten better at managing and mitigating it.
- 5:33And that's what this conversation will hopefully help
- 5:36us all with is to decide, OK, how can I except that overwhelm
- 5:41can be a part of the human experience at times, but I can
- 5:44also be much more in charge of it so that it's not running my
- 5:48life. Overwhelm happens very basically
- 5:52when the demand of things in our life exceeds our capacity to
- 5:56handle it. It's the demand of all the stuff
- 6:01exceeding our bandwidth. So like if we're running all
- 6:06these programs and softwares in the back of our mind, it's like
- 6:09we don't have enough bandwidth to run it all.
- 6:12It's the fact that in my computer, there are 47 tabs open
- 6:16and oftentimes I get a little message popping up on my
- 6:19computer that says your computer does not have the operational
- 6:23capacity or whatever to run all these programs.
- 6:26That is what I would imagine overwhelm feels like to the
- 6:29brain is that little message popping up just like it does on
- 6:33my computer because I refuse to close the tabs.
- 6:36And frankly, my computer probably needs a rest.
- 6:39It needs to be reset, restarted. It needs to be turned off for a
- 6:42while. And the same is true for us, for
- 6:46our brains, for our hearts. And I think it's important that
- 6:50before we talk about how to combat overwhelm, we try to
- 6:53understand what's happening in the body when overwhelm hits so
- 6:56that we can understand the context of why we feel like we
- 7:00feel when we are in extreme stress or overwhelm.
- 7:05So let's talk about that really quickly.
- 7:06When we are faced with stressors, those stressors will
- 7:11inherently activate what's called the fight or flight
- 7:13response, which is the response of the sympathetic nervous
- 7:17system. You have the autonomic nervous
- 7:20system, something that's happening in the background all
- 7:23the time. It's automatic, and there are
- 7:25two branches to it, the sympathetic and the
- 7:27parasympathetic. The sympathetic nervous system
- 7:30is devoted to the fight or flight response, which is our
- 7:34ability to respond appropriately to threats.
- 7:37It's instinctual, it's built in, it's how we're wired.
- 7:40It's a good thing. But with chronic stress over
- 7:44time, being in this state all the time, it can wear us down
- 7:48and it can burn us out. So when we're in fight or
- 7:51flight, that response means that our body is directing our
- 7:54resources, our energy, our cellular energy to be able to
- 7:58respond quickly to whatever is in front of us.
- 8:01And ideally, your body is able to move fluidly between these
- 8:04two states. The sympathetic and the
- 8:06parasympathetic states the fight or flight response or what they
- 8:09call the rest and digest response, the parasympathetic.
- 8:14If we're stuck in fight or flight all the time, it can lead
- 8:17to this dysregulated state of being for the nervous system.
- 8:21So if you ever look at somebody in there, chronically agitated,
- 8:25irritated, they're very short in patients, they are tapping their
- 8:30foot constantly, they experience a lot of physical symptoms.
- 8:33They are likely living in a dysregulated nervous system.
- 8:38Over time this can create feelings of irritability.
- 8:43Things like irrational thinking, anxiety, fatigue, insomnia,
- 8:47persistent thoughts, ruminating. All of these things plus a slew
- 8:51of physical symptoms like heart palpitations, digestive upset,
- 8:54muscle tension. This is the bulk of what I'm
- 8:58encountering in the clinic when I'm seeing patients in my
- 9:01acupuncture clinic because anxiety is such a common
- 9:04experience. Overwhelm is such a common
- 9:07experience and it really shows up physically and mentally for
- 9:10people. I'm seeing things in patients
- 9:12like muscle tension, especially in the neck and the shoulders,
- 9:16the upper back. People can get digestive upset
- 9:19or a nervous stomach because in fight or flight, digestion
- 9:23becomes a second priority. It's not the main priority.
- 9:27You see teeth grinding, jaw clenching, headaches, etcetera.
- 9:32We become more sensitive to light, more sensitive to touch,
- 9:35sound. Essentially we are hyper
- 9:37stimulated. And in the brain you reach what
- 9:41is called cognitive overload. And this is the idea that
- 9:44there's so much information coming in and not enough
- 9:47bandwidth to really manage it. And so the brain reacts by
- 9:51experiencing this type of mental paralysis.
- 9:54So if you've ever felt like in a moment of overwhelm, you
- 9:57couldn't think clearly, you had brain fog, or you were kind of
- 10:00walking around in circles, like you just didn't really know
- 10:03where to start with your day in terms of what you should be
- 10:06doing. This is the mental paralysis
- 10:08that comes from cognitive overload.
- 10:10And it's good to recognize the truth is, like I've said before,
- 10:15the the modern world can be very overwhelming.
- 10:18It's over stimulating, it's demanding, and it can be scary.
- 10:22We can acknowledge that. We can say and acknowledge, yes,
- 10:26we live in this world, but I know that we also want to be
- 10:29able to function well and feel good.
- 10:32So the question becomes, how do we go about doing that?
- 10:36And I'm going to go through a list of things that feels very
- 10:38helpful for clients and have been very helpful for me.
- 10:42There are so many different ways that you can regulate the
- 10:45nervous system and combat overwhelm, and I'm not going to
- 10:48go into a huge extensive list. These are just the things that
- 10:52feel the most powerful to me because I like to keep it simple
- 10:56and you can find the stuff that works best for you.
- 10:58But let's just go through it quickly.
- 11:00The first thing that I always think about and talk about with
- 11:04clients is the breath, because the breath is the quickest way
- 11:09to get control of your nervous system, hands down.
- 11:12There's a book out there called Breath which is so phenomenal.
- 11:16I love it. I recommend it to so many
- 11:18people. It's got a bright yellow cover.
- 11:20If you haven't read it, go out there and buy it and read it.
- 11:22It's so awesome. To get control of your breath is
- 11:26one of the quickest ways to get control of your nervous system.
- 11:29Rapid breathing is often a part of an anxiety syndrome and
- 11:33anxiety feeling and that feeling of overwhelm creates the same
- 11:37situation where we are rapidly or shallowly breathing.
- 11:40To be able to control the nervous system, slow down the
- 11:44breath. And there's so many different
- 11:46ways you can do this, but especially if you can slow the
- 11:49exhale, you immediately be able to get a better control of your
- 11:52nervous system. So the number one thing that I
- 11:55talk about with clients is breath.
- 11:58The second thing I wanted to highlight is to take ownership.
- 12:02And this is all about what is the story that you are telling
- 12:07about the circumstance you are facing or the season of life
- 12:10you're in or whatever it is that is creating the overwhelm.
- 12:13What's the story you're telling? Because often times we can tell
- 12:17the story that, Oh my God, this is too much.
- 12:20I'm not going to be able to handle this.
- 12:22This is going to bury me. I'm so tired.
- 12:24I'm never going to get on top of this.
- 12:26Or we can tell the story of it's OK.
- 12:29There's a lot going on right now.
- 12:30I'm going to take it one step at a time.
- 12:33I'm going to lean on my people. I'm going to call in my
- 12:35resources. I'm going to make sure that I'm
- 12:38exercising and taking care of myself and that I'm resting when
- 12:40necessary. There's completely different
- 12:43stories that we can be telling ourselves about what we are
- 12:46facing and people minimize this. They say, oh, well, I can't
- 12:52really help what's happening in front of me.
- 12:53This is just life. And I always want to push back
- 12:57and say, but you are the one who attaches the meaning to your
- 13:01life. You attach the meaning to your
- 13:03circumstances. So if something feels
- 13:06overwhelming to you, if there are a lot of things that feel
- 13:09out of control and stressful, you are obviously going to
- 13:12create a story about it. Be in choice and take radical
- 13:17ownership over the story that you're telling.
- 13:19And this might look like you creating certain boundaries for
- 13:23yourself around your energy or your time.
- 13:26It's what you say yes and no to. It's owning your perspective and
- 13:31your actions. It's owning the thoughts that
- 13:34you have about what's happening in your day.
- 13:37It's you taking control over what you can control and letting
- 13:41go of the stuff that you cannot, which is pretty much everything
- 13:44outside of your sphere. And I know that it's not always
- 13:48easy to do this, but once you start getting into the practice
- 13:50of it, you start to see more and more opportunity where you
- 13:53actually can take ownership and the overwhelm starts to to
- 13:56lessen. It really does.
- 13:58Because you're more rooted in yourself.
- 14:01You're more rooted in what you can control.
- 14:03And you feel like the captain of your own ship again, which I
- 14:06think is crucial. There's nothing worse than
- 14:09feeling like a victim in your life.
- 14:10There's nothing worse than feeling like you are just
- 14:12getting tossed around in the waves of life, reacting to every
- 14:16single thing. I mean, no wonder we feel
- 14:19overwhelmed when we are in that position to feel like the victim
- 14:22to our circumstances, even though the circumstances might
- 14:27not change that much. If you feel like you are in
- 14:30control, if you feel like you have some agency and choice and
- 14:35you get to direct the story about those circumstances, that
- 14:40feels so much better, even if the scenario didn't change that
- 14:43much. So taking ownership, radical
- 14:46ownership is the second one that I think is so, so important in
- 14:50terms of mitigating overwhelm. Third one is rest and recovery.
- 14:54Oh man, we just, we don't prioritize rest.
- 14:59We don't, it's not something that's sexy or flashy.
- 15:03We just don't prioritize it. It's not important in terms of
- 15:07where we spend our time. Now, some people are better at
- 15:12this than others, but again, your calendar is your calendar.
- 15:16You have to take ownership of it and you have to build in the
- 15:20rest and recovery period so that you have bandwidth.
- 15:23Because frankly, the times when I have felt most overwhelmed in
- 15:27my life is when I'm tired. Always.
- 15:31I always know when I push myself too far or I've been going too
- 15:36hard because I start to feel overwhelmed with my work, in my
- 15:41relationships, with just menial tasks, it starts to overwhelm me
- 15:45and I get in the fight or flight.
- 15:47I can feel the mental paralysis coming in.
- 15:49And now thankfully, I can recognize that for what it is.
- 15:53And it's almost always fatigue. So the rest and recovery piece
- 15:56is huge. And I guarantee that is
- 15:58something that you could optimize in your own life.
- 16:02The next one is what I call the smallest action strategy.
- 16:05And this is simply a way to get into action by asking yourself,
- 16:09what is the smallest step I could take right now to start
- 16:13creating some momentum in my life and start taking action.
- 16:17And I stole this from Greg Mccune, who wrote Essentialism
- 16:20and Effortless. He says if the first action step
- 16:24to getting momentum, the first thing that you need to do, if it
- 16:27feels too overwhelming, it's too big.
- 16:29And so break it down even further.
- 16:31And this could be as simple as sending a package back to
- 16:34somebody, returning something that you ordered.
- 16:36Sometimes that alone can feel super overwhelming to people.
- 16:39So what is the smallest action you can take sending it in the
- 16:42mail? That's not the smallest action.
- 16:43What do you actually need to do? Well, I need to print the label.
- 16:45Well, that feels overwhelming. OK, well, what do you need to do
- 16:48before that? Well, I need to find the
- 16:50information where I need to return it.
- 16:51Well, that feels overwhelming. OK, well, I need to get the item
- 16:55repackaged. Well, that feels overwhelming.
- 16:57OK, what's the very simple thing?
- 16:59The very simplest thing I could do is just find the box that it
- 17:02came in. That's the first step.
- 17:04Find the box that the thing came in and then take the next step
- 17:07from there. And so the idea is to just break
- 17:10it down to the smallest, smallest action that you can
- 17:12find and begin there. Because every major milestone
- 17:17was met through a series of small actions.
- 17:19And that's all you have to do. So that's the smallest action
- 17:23strategy. And then finally, the last one I
- 17:26think about when it comes to mitigating overwhelm is to
- 17:30change your state. And changing your state to me
- 17:33just means get yourself into a different frequency, get
- 17:37yourself into a higher energy. And you can do this through
- 17:39movement, exercise, more sleep, listening to music, connecting
- 17:45with friends, doing your breath work, eating a good meal, going
- 17:48for a walk. It can look like anything you
- 17:50want. Dancing, blasting music really
- 17:52loud and dancing with your family.
- 17:54Whatever it is, change your state.
- 17:57My best way of changing my state is to exercise.
- 18:00Anytime I'm anytime I exercise and get the endorphins going, I
- 18:03feel better. And so if you can change your
- 18:06state, you are in a more regulated nervous system phase,
- 18:11you are less dysregulated and you can start to have some
- 18:14clarity of thinking and mitigate that overwhelm.
- 18:18So those are just a few of the strategies that I love.
- 18:20Obviously I said before there's so many more and find the ones
- 18:24that work best for you, but try to keep it simple and recognize
- 18:28that you are always in choice. You are the creator of your own
- 18:33life, you are the captain of your ship, so you have the power
- 18:36to create change. And I know that sometimes life
- 18:40can really come at you hard. I understand we can all
- 18:44acknowledge that there is just a lot happening in this world.
- 18:47There's a lot of information coming at us, but it is up to us
- 18:52to self manage all of that. There's just some very simple
- 18:55ways that we can do that that don't require a lot of energy,
- 18:58don't require a lot of resources that can really be done in just
- 19:02a few moments in your day. I'll mention one more thing from
- 19:06a metrics standpoint also, if you are one of those people who
- 19:11wears an aura ring or an Apple Watch or something, that's
- 19:13measuring your metrics. A lot of my clients and patients
- 19:17like to track their HRV score, their heart rate variability.
- 19:20Watching that score allows you to see how fast your nervous
- 19:25system is responding and how quickly it's recovering.
- 19:29And as that HRV score goes up, it indicates that your nervous
- 19:33system is responding better and it is more resilient and you are
- 19:38bouncing back from stressors in a better way.
- 19:41I don't personally wear a device on me.
- 19:44I find that for me, it becomes one of those reasons that we
- 19:46mentioned at the beginning of this episode that create
- 19:50overwhelm for people. So too much information,
- 19:53constant input from devices. I try to stay away from that.
- 19:57So I don't wear anything that measures my metrics, but I know
- 20:00tons of you do. I know you guys love the data.
- 20:03So if you're looking at your HRV score, that can be a helpful way
- 20:06to see, is my nervous system responsive?
- 20:09Is it regulating? Is it bouncing back from
- 20:11stressors? Well?
- 20:13And I think that can be helpful for people.
- 20:16There is so much more that we could talk about in terms of
- 20:19overwhelm and the experience of it, why it crops up for people,
- 20:23why some people feel like they're so entrenched in it or
- 20:26in the grips of it. But today I just wanted to give
- 20:28some simple ways to manage it because I think it's universal
- 20:32that we all experience it to a certain degree.
- 20:35I don't think there's any way around it, and it doesn't seem
- 20:38like the world is really slowing down at this rate.
- 20:41So my hope is that we can all just get a little bit better at
- 20:44being in choice, being in ownership, and being able to
- 20:47manage these feelings so that we can feel well and live the life
- 20:51that we really want. So I hope this is helpful.
- 20:54I hope that you have an amazing week.
- 20:55Thank you for being here and listening to the show, and thank
- 20:57you for being ready to Impact. Thanks for listening to Impact
- 21:01Ready. I hope today's episode inspired
- 21:03you to own your impact and recognize that you are powerful.
- 21:07By elevating our energy and awareness, we can create
- 21:10exponential change in this life. If you enjoyed today's insights,
- 21:14share them with a friend and subscribe to the show for more.
- 21:16I truly appreciate you. Thanks again for being here.