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When It Feels Like Failure: How We Love Through Mistakes · A Capture Deep Vibs A Positive Space For Inspiration And Embracing Of Heart

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  Speaker 1: I've been there, you've been there, we've all been there.
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  Speaker 1: A big test or competition is on the line and
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  Speaker 1: you know you've put everything you had in preparation and
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  Speaker 1: yet you still don't get the result you want. You
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  Speaker 1: don't feel good. You feel you've failed. Psych2Goers. First and foremost,
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  Speaker 1: let's define failure. If you're expecting something super clean and clear,
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  Speaker 1: sorry to say, it's not. Failure is the subjective thing
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  Speaker 1: as a success. Every person defines it differently for themselves.
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  Speaker 1: For example, an interesting take on failure was stated by
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  Speaker 1: Thomas Edison, who said, I've not failed 10,000 times. I've
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  Speaker 1: successfully found 10,000 ways that will not work. The definition
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  Speaker 1: is based on your values and expectations, and you are
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  Speaker 1: unique to you. Sometimes, though, we let outside parties like
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  Speaker 1: friends or family define it for us. Despite our varied
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  Speaker 1: definitions of failure, the one common thing that we all
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  Speaker 1: share is the initial feeling of failing really sucks. So
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  Speaker 1: let's look at several ways on how we could change
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  Speaker 1: our perspective on failure, take the edge off the sting,
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  Speaker 1: and make it work for us. Number one, failure is
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  Speaker 1: your biggest teacher. Society really pushes emphasis on success and
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  Speaker 1: tends to ignore failure. Think of all the perfect lives
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  Speaker 1: we see posted everywhere on social media. However, this does
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  Speaker 1: not provide any depth of knowledge, thus benefit anyone. According
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  Speaker 1: to a research conducted by Madsen and Desai, failure can
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  Speaker 1: be your biggest teacher in life. The research found that
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  Speaker 1: knowledge gained from failure lasts longer and is often more
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  Speaker 1: impactful than knowledge gained from success. This can be illustrated
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  Speaker 1: with the flights of the space shuttle Atlantis and the
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  Speaker 1: Challenger in 2002. a piece of the space shuttle Atlantis
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  Speaker 1: broke off and caused damage, but the damage didn't hinder
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  Speaker 1: the mission. As a result, there was little follow-up or
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  Speaker 1: investigation following the incident. A year later, during the flight
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  Speaker 1: of the space shuttle, the Challenger, another piece of the
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  Speaker 1: space shuttle broke off that was somewhat similar to the Atlantis,
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  Speaker 1: but this time disaster ensued, resulting in the death of
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  Speaker 1: the astronauts and violent destruction of the shuttle. This tragic
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  Speaker 1: incident prompted a major investigation, which resulted in 29 recommended
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  Speaker 1: changes to prevent future disasters. In essence, failure can really
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  Speaker 1: be seen as an alternate term for learning opportunity. Number two,
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  Speaker 1: failure teaches you to be kind to yourself. Let's imagine,
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  Speaker 1: what if your life is only made of a constant
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  Speaker 1: stream of success? Everything you do or try just falls
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  Speaker 1: into your lap and you've known nothing but riches, wealth,
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  Speaker 1: and comfort. You've never had to pull yourself up from
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  Speaker 1: an abyss or struggle to improve. When we never truly
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  Speaker 1: experience the grit of failure, this encourages taking everything for granted.
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  Speaker 1: You don't think, you just float along. Failure gives us
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  Speaker 1: the push to reevaluate the important things in our lives.
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  Speaker 1: Who are you and how do you define yourself? It's
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  Speaker 1: a great chance for you to be kind to yourself
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  Speaker 1: and practice self-compassion. Instead of judging and self-approving based on
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  Speaker 1: the materialistic or what you've done, you learn to accept
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  Speaker 1: yourself just for what you already are at your core. Dr.
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  Speaker 1: Kristen Neff, a strong advocate for self-compassion, published a study.
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  Speaker 1: Based on that study, students who practiced self-compassion after failing
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  Speaker 1: in an exam will proceed to study harder for future exams.
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  Speaker 1: Number three, you can know success only if you've experienced failure.
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  Speaker 1: There is no light without the dark. We've heard the phrase,
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  Speaker 1: but what does it mean? Similarly, by experiencing failure, you
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  Speaker 1: will obtain a better perspective on success The accumulation of
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  Speaker 1: failures over time gives you an increasingly better sense of
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  Speaker 1: what will probably work and what probably won't work. And
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  Speaker 1: success is built upon this knowledge. This very perspective makes
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  Speaker 1: basketball superstar Michael Jordan the athlete that he is today.
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  Speaker 1: He says, I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career.
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  Speaker 1: I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted
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  Speaker 1: to take the game-winning shot and missed. I failed over
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  Speaker 1: and over again in my life. That's why I succeed.
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  Speaker 1: Number four, failure isn't always really failure. Did you know
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  Speaker 1: some of the most groundbreaking inventions we've had happened when
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  Speaker 1: the inventors were researching something completely different? Some of these
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  Speaker 1: include super glue, microwave ovens, pacemakers, and even penicillin. Essentially,
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  Speaker 1: they failed at their original goal. But considering what came
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  Speaker 1: out instead, can you really call that failure? And number five,
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  Speaker 1: failure is a step on the journey, not the end
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  Speaker 1: of it. When you are faced with failure, this usually
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  Speaker 1: does not mean the end. Failure is a real and
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  Speaker 1: common experience. However, barring extreme circumstances, it's not a termination.
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  Speaker 1: It's part of the human condition and a natural occurrence.
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  Speaker 1: that preps you to achieve success in the future. Ever
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  Speaker 1: shop or browse online? You've probably heard of Jack Ma,
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  Speaker 1: co-founder of Alibaba Group. The journey to the top wasn't
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  Speaker 1: some fairytale golden path either. In a public event, he
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  Speaker 1: told the story of multiple failures in his life, which
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  Speaker 1: included being the sole individual not to get a job
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  Speaker 1: at a fast food joint. rejection at being a hotel server,
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  Speaker 1: and applying to Harvard 10 times with a sound rejection
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  Speaker 1: each time. Jack Ma reflected that the experiences of these
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  Speaker 1: failures prepared him for the path to becoming a CEO
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  Speaker 1: later on. Failure is a chance to learn, and although
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  Speaker 1: it doesn't feel very good at the time, a change
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  Speaker 1: in perspective can help turn it into a climbing hold
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  Speaker 1: instead of a rock blocking your path. We understand though
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  Speaker 1: that sometimes when you face failures in your life, you
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  Speaker 1: may become debilitated. These can hit you hard. Now that
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  Speaker 1: you know bouncing back is a very real option, seek
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  Speaker 1: professional assistance if you need it so that you can
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  Speaker 1: continue onwards and upwards. If you like this video, be
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  Speaker 1: sure to like and subscribe to Psych2Go for more content.
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  Speaker 1: Thanks for watching.