Latest / The You Project / #1900 UNSTUCK-IFICATION (The Process of Getting Unstuck) - Harps (PT1)
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Good dight team. It's harps hope, you bloody terrific. Ah.
- 0:03Speaker 1: So I want to talk to you about the very
- 0:05Speaker 1: common habit of getting stuck, that is spinning our wheels,
- 0:12Speaker 1: that is living life or part of our life in
- 0:16Speaker 1: a perpetual holding pattern, thinking about doing different while not
- 0:21Speaker 1: doing different, talking about doing different and better while not
- 0:26Speaker 1: doing it, talking about transformation and improvement and growth and
- 0:30Speaker 1: learning and unlearning and becoming the best version of ourselves
- 0:33Speaker 1: and exploring our talents and our potential and building our
- 0:37Speaker 1: best whatever, while simultaneously not fucking doing it. Ah. And
- 0:43Speaker 1: let's be honest. Let's be honest. That's a lot of
- 0:45Speaker 1: people a lot of the time. And that's not me
- 0:47Speaker 1: being critical. That's me being an observer of people. Also
- 0:51Speaker 1: myself being one of those people. So there've been many
- 0:54Speaker 1: times in my life when I have been I've been,
- 1:01Speaker 1: I guess, trapped in a kind of a holding pattern,
- 1:05Speaker 1: a holding pattern of mediocrity, like a groundhole day like
- 1:09Speaker 1: same shits, same stuff, same doing the same things with
- 1:13Speaker 1: my business or my brand, or my money, or my body,
- 1:16Speaker 1: or my relationships or my spiritual life or my mental
- 1:21Speaker 1: health or my emotional health or my academic pursuits, my learning, commitment,
- 1:29Speaker 1: my training, my nutrition, doing stuff that didn't work, but
- 1:33Speaker 1: nonetheless getting up each day and essentially doing a version
- 1:37Speaker 1: of what didn't work the last day, month, year, decade sometimes.
- 1:44Speaker 1: So I'm very interested in, as you are well know,
- 1:48Speaker 1: I'm interested in human potential. I'm interested in possibilities. I'm
- 1:52Speaker 1: interested in what we can do, what I can do,
- 1:57Speaker 1: what you can do when you and me get out
- 1:59Speaker 1: of it own way, when I can get out of
- 2:06Speaker 1: my destructive habits, my self destructive self talk, thinking, my
- 2:15Speaker 1: shitty lifestyle, not so much these days, but at times,
- 2:18Speaker 1: my relationships, my operating system, not just relationships with people,
- 2:25Speaker 1: but relationships with food, relationships with my body, relationships with
- 2:31Speaker 1: all of the things that I do, habits and behaviors,
- 2:36Speaker 1: and stepping into out of the self destruction and the
- 2:41Speaker 1: overthinking and the self doubt and the imposter syndrome, and
- 2:44Speaker 1: slowly stepping into self awareness and self genuine self improvement
- 2:50Speaker 1: and self regulation and self optimization for that matter. So
- 2:55Speaker 1: many years, for many years I worked with people who
- 2:57Speaker 1: came to me to get in physically, and then more
- 3:01Speaker 1: recently last decade or so, you know, mentally and emotionally,
- 3:06Speaker 1: but who were stuck and stuck physically sometimes or stuck
- 3:11Speaker 1: mentally or emotionally all three, or socially and or socially
- 3:16Speaker 1: practically behaviorally, you know, just in this normal operating system
- 3:24Speaker 1: that doesn't work. So there's there's a there's a degree
- 3:30Speaker 1: of unconsciousness that all of us in habit, and as
- 3:36Speaker 1: the name suggests, we're not aware of it. That is,
- 3:39Speaker 1: we unconsciously do a lot of things, and we do
- 3:42Speaker 1: a lot of things that really will require very very
- 3:45Speaker 1: low level decision making in that you know, we've got
- 3:50Speaker 1: to open the fridge to get the thing out to
- 3:51Speaker 1: put it in our mouth, but it's almost like we
- 3:53Speaker 1: do that without thinking, without choosing. It's just a habit,
- 3:57Speaker 1: it's a pattern, that's a ritual, it's a behavior. I
- 4:00Speaker 1: feel shit. I'm not hungry, I'm not actually hungry, I
- 4:02Speaker 1: don't actually need food, but I'm having a bad day.
- 4:05Speaker 1: So now I'm grabbing chocolate. Now I'm eating chocolate. I
- 4:09Speaker 1: feel a bit flat, I feel a bit anxious. Now
- 4:11Speaker 1: I'm grabbing booze. I fit whatever. And so we have
- 4:14Speaker 1: a propensity and a tendency, many of us, to do
- 4:18Speaker 1: things for an extended period of time, sometimes decades that
- 4:24Speaker 1: clearly do not work for us. And when I say
- 4:26Speaker 1: do not work, I'm saying do not work on the
- 4:30Speaker 1: understanding or the premise that we want to be better.
- 4:33Speaker 1: We don't want to be unhealthy. We don't want destructive habits.
- 4:36Speaker 1: We don't want to overthink. We don't want to overdrink.
- 4:38Speaker 1: We don't want to overeat. We don't want to be
- 4:42Speaker 1: the procrastinator. We don't want to be the excuse maker.
- 4:45Speaker 1: We don't want to be the avoid or the denier.
- 4:47Speaker 1: We want to take ownership, we want to take charge.
- 4:50Speaker 1: We want to optimize our genetics, optimize our potential, optimize
- 4:54Speaker 1: our IQ, our intellectual capacity, optimize our creativity. We talk
- 5:01Speaker 1: all the time, especially in the personal development, self help space,
- 5:05Speaker 1: human performance, human behavior, we talk all the time about optimization,
- 5:11Speaker 1: that is, getting the most out of ourselves. But truly, truly,
- 5:18Speaker 1: as unpopular as this might be, or as uncomfortable as
- 5:21Speaker 1: this might be for some to hear, and I don't
- 5:23Speaker 1: know you, so clearly it's not personal, or clearly you're
- 5:26Speaker 1: one of many listenings, so I'm not targeting you. So
- 5:29Speaker 1: all I ask you to do is consider what I'm
- 5:31Speaker 1: about to say, and that what I'm about to say
- 5:34Speaker 1: is that some of you have probably been doing things
- 5:37Speaker 1: that don't work for a very long time, and maybe
- 5:40Speaker 1: lots of things that don't work. And if on some
- 5:44Speaker 1: level you've kind of resigned yourself to that fact and
- 5:48Speaker 1: you're kind of okay with it, then okay. However, if
- 5:53Speaker 1: you're not okay with it, if you are sick of
- 5:56Speaker 1: being the one day soon person, the almost person, and
- 6:00Speaker 1: to so much self help and personal development, behavioral change
- 6:03Speaker 1: in neuroscience and neuropsychology and nutrition, and I've read every
- 6:06Speaker 1: fucking thing and listen to every fucking thing, But here
- 6:08Speaker 1: I am, and I'm still in groundhole day. I'm still
- 6:10Speaker 1: spinning my wheels, I'm still going nowhere fast. I'm still
- 6:14Speaker 1: in a perpetual holding pattern of mediocrity and dissatisfaction and
- 6:19Speaker 1: wasted time, talent, and energy. If that's you, then then
- 6:26Speaker 1: one you need to figure out if you're really desperately,
- 6:29Speaker 1: passionately committed to changing that, and then two, whether or
- 6:36Speaker 1: not you are genuinely willing to pay the price of
- 6:41Speaker 1: whatever is required to create that shift on planet you.
- 6:45Speaker 1: And this is the big kind of gap. This is
- 6:47Speaker 1: the chasm between the idea and the action and the idea.
- 6:51Speaker 1: Everyone's in love with the idea. Everyone's in love with
- 6:54Speaker 1: the idea of better. Everyone's in love with the idea
- 6:58Speaker 1: of lean and and functional and successful and joyful and
- 7:05Speaker 1: wealthy and focused and fulfilled. We love all that shit
- 7:12Speaker 1: because who doesn't want that. We all want that or
- 7:16Speaker 1: a version of that. I rarely speak to people who
- 7:21Speaker 1: say I am totally content. I don't want anything else.
- 7:25Speaker 1: This is a whole other conversation out by the way.
- 7:28Speaker 1: But I'm there. I don't need any more. I'm happy.
- 7:30Speaker 1: I'm content, you know, for the most part, not anxious.
- 7:35Speaker 1: Life's great. That's generally not the case, and there's another conversation,
- 7:41Speaker 1: as I said, to be had around that. But for
- 7:43Speaker 1: the moment, I want to talk to you about whether
- 7:47Speaker 1: or not you are genuinely ready. Firstly, I'm going to
- 7:50Speaker 1: operate on the assumption that you are at the very
- 7:53Speaker 1: least interested in getting unstuck, interested in getting out of
- 7:59Speaker 1: your own way, interested in stepping out of the rules
- 8:03Speaker 1: and habits and rituals and the perpetual holding pattern that
- 8:08Speaker 1: you may be in in some areas of your life
- 8:11Speaker 1: that doesn't work or don't work, to step out of that.
- 8:17Speaker 1: So Firstly, let's talk about what are the drivers? What
- 8:21Speaker 1: are the things which cause us to get stuck? And
- 8:24Speaker 1: so this list is not in terms of significance or important.
- 8:28Speaker 1: They are all equally important. And some of these may
- 8:34Speaker 1: relate to you, some of them may not. It's seven
- 8:38Speaker 1: or eight or nine maybe, And some of them seem
- 8:42Speaker 1: like overly simple. Well, come on, Craig, I need more
- 8:46Speaker 1: than that. I need some deeper science. I need something
- 8:49Speaker 1: more profound than that. I need something more wise and
- 8:53Speaker 1: insightful and deep than laziness. For example, this sounds funny,
- 8:59Speaker 1: but I just meet people who are fucking lazy, and
- 9:02Speaker 1: that's why they're stuck. It's not even that they're scared.
- 9:07Speaker 1: They're just lazy. They just don't They just don't want
- 9:11Speaker 1: to do the work. They like the idea of the outcome.
- 9:14Speaker 1: They like the idea of the destination, but they are
- 9:17Speaker 1: not ready to get up every day and walk the path,
- 9:21Speaker 1: or drive the path, or take the path, or or
- 9:25Speaker 1: take the journey. Like the destination, the idea of the
- 9:28Speaker 1: outcome is brilliant, but the idea of doing what's required
- 9:31Speaker 1: to create that outcome, they're like, ah soon. And so
- 9:39Speaker 1: you know, if laziness is the overriding kind of factor,
- 9:44Speaker 1: then we're stuck. And so that and I think sometimes
- 9:49Speaker 1: that that kind of general apathy, laziness, apathy, lack of motivation,
- 9:54Speaker 1: perhaps they're tied in together. And my my thoughts, this
- 10:01Speaker 1: is not science, this is my thoughts. I think that,
- 10:06Speaker 1: as I've said a lot on this show, there's almost
- 10:10Speaker 1: like a psychological and or emotional tipping point for a
- 10:13Speaker 1: lot of us, and that is we kind of just go.
- 10:17Speaker 1: We just kind of trudge along in blah, you know,
- 10:20Speaker 1: in Blasville, in mediocrity in three out of ten, and
- 10:25Speaker 1: it's not fulfilling or rewarding or awesome or joyful, but
- 10:28Speaker 1: it's also not complete shit. It's okay. There are moments
- 10:31Speaker 1: of okayness, and you know, until we get to that
- 10:36Speaker 1: point where we associate more pain, we're staying in it
- 10:40Speaker 1: than getting out of it. Most of us will stay
- 10:43Speaker 1: in it. And you can see as an observer of
- 10:49Speaker 1: human behavior, you can see people staying in things, sometimes
- 10:55Speaker 1: relationships or jobs or situations or circumstances, environments or patterns
- 11:01Speaker 1: or habits, staying in things that really don't work, but
- 11:05Speaker 1: on some level they're scared of the option. They're scared
- 11:08Speaker 1: of the work, They're scared of the unknown, They're scared
- 11:11Speaker 1: of the uncertainty. Should they shut the door on that
- 11:14Speaker 1: thing and step away and head in a new direction
- 11:18Speaker 1: with no safety in it? So fear comes into it, laziness, apathy, fear. Mindset. Now,
- 11:28Speaker 1: when I talk about mindset, clearly we could and we
- 11:30Speaker 1: have done many shows on this, but it's you know,
- 11:34Speaker 1: being aware that my mind is not in charge of me.
- 11:38Speaker 1: I am in charge of my mind. And yes I'm
- 11:41Speaker 1: not talking about my brain here. My brain is different,
- 11:45Speaker 1: is a different animal. But in terms of managing regulating
- 11:48Speaker 1: my thoughts, what I pay attention to, what I focus on?
- 11:52Speaker 1: Am I the problem person? Am I the solution person?
- 11:55Speaker 1: Am I making good decisions? How do I process the
- 11:59Speaker 1: world around me? What is the thing that happened? What
- 12:03Speaker 1: is my story that I'm telling myself about the thing
- 12:06Speaker 1: that happened? Why do I think the way that I think?
- 12:10Speaker 1: Where does my thinking come from? What role does my
- 12:14Speaker 1: programming play in my current internal paradigm, in my internal framework?
- 12:21Speaker 1: What role does my programming play in terms of how
- 12:24Speaker 1: I live and what I do and my values and
- 12:26Speaker 1: so on. So, becoming aware of these internal kind of
- 12:32Speaker 1: drivers that influence perhaps determine whether or not we stay
- 12:38Speaker 1: stuck or we move self doubt. Self doubt is like
- 12:45Speaker 1: almost a pandemic, you know, aversion to discomfort spoken about
- 12:50Speaker 1: a lot of times. People want the work, they don't
- 12:53Speaker 1: want the pain, self limiting thinking, crap, self esteem, and
- 12:58Speaker 1: so on. And the truth is that at some stage,
- 13:03Speaker 1: should we really want to move forward, we need to
- 13:05Speaker 1: feel what we feel. Feel lazy, feel not good enough,
- 13:08Speaker 1: feel like a fraud, feel like an impostor, but nonetheless
- 13:12Speaker 1: start the ball rolling. I've spent most of my life
- 13:18Speaker 1: still feeling like the insecure, fat kid that got picked
- 13:22Speaker 1: last for every sporting team. At some stages, I feel
- 13:24Speaker 1: like that. I don't feel like literally that, I just
- 13:27Speaker 1: that those emotional and psychological remnants live on. You know.
- 13:33Speaker 1: I could be in the middle of, like right now,
- 13:36Speaker 1: sharing this with you, at the same time feeling like, oh,
- 13:39Speaker 1: this is shit and no one's going to enjoy it.
- 13:41Speaker 1: Like that. Self doubt never fully goes away from me,
- 13:45Speaker 1: that imposter syndrome, not good enough, not smart enough, not
- 13:48Speaker 1: academic enough, not lean enough, not likable enough, not fucking
- 13:52Speaker 1: it what. That stuff never fully goes away. It doesn't
- 13:56Speaker 1: dominate me, it doesn't render me paralyzed. But but do
- 14:01Speaker 1: I ever feel supremely confident? Never? I never feel that
- 14:06Speaker 1: I feel somewhat confident. I feel content and pretty calm
- 14:10Speaker 1: and pretty satisfied most of the time. But what I
- 14:14Speaker 1: know is that the psychological awareness that I can do things,
- 14:22Speaker 1: I'm not useless. I can succeed, I can write well,
- 14:26Speaker 1: I can speak well, I can talk to an audience.
- 14:29Speaker 1: I can build a business and brand, while also knowing
- 14:33Speaker 1: that I've fucked up a lot of things and all
- 14:35Speaker 1: of that. But that knowledge that I can do well, oh,
- 14:40Speaker 1: exists at the same time with those feelings, those emotions
- 14:44Speaker 1: of inadequacy and self doubt and periodic self loathing. And
- 14:49Speaker 1: that's not weird or broken or terrible. That's normal. Even
- 14:54Speaker 1: the people that I've worked with that many of you
- 14:57Speaker 1: would know that are high performers in the areas of
- 15:00Speaker 1: sports or politics, or media or entertainment or the creative arts.
- 15:06Speaker 1: Some of the people that I've worked with that are
- 15:09Speaker 1: wildly successful are also insecure, also riddled with self doubt,
- 15:15Speaker 1: also have self esteem issues, also could talk themselves into
- 15:20Speaker 1: analysis paralysis in a second. So if any of that
- 15:24Speaker 1: is you, that is not a reason to not succeed.
- 15:30Speaker 1: You can be scared and successful. You can be inherently
- 15:35Speaker 1: kind of naturally lazy while choosing to be active and proactive.
- 15:41Speaker 1: You can do that. You can override things. My genetic
- 15:46Speaker 1: default setting is endomorphic, which is I gain fat very easily.
- 15:52Speaker 1: But my genetics don't need to be my destiny because
- 15:56Speaker 1: what I'll look, feel, and function like is about twenty
- 15:59Speaker 1: to thirty about my genetics. The rest is about what
- 16:02Speaker 1: I do, and what I do is optional. What I
- 16:05Speaker 1: eat is optional, how I live is optional. How I
- 16:10Speaker 1: move my body, whether or not I drink booze or
- 16:12Speaker 1: use drugs, or how I sleep or how much I sleep,
- 16:15Speaker 1: or how I put all this shit together. My my
- 16:18Speaker 1: overarching values, my overarching operating system for life. There are
- 16:27Speaker 1: we can rationalize anything if we want, if we want
- 16:32Speaker 1: to come up with a reason why we're not succeeding
- 16:34Speaker 1: and life's not fair and my mum did this or
- 16:37Speaker 1: my dad. And I'm not trying to be disrespectful to
- 16:39Speaker 1: people who've been through legit trauma. Of course we recognize
- 16:43Speaker 1: that and respect that. But at the same time, guess
- 16:45Speaker 1: what a lot of people have been through trauma and
- 16:49Speaker 1: a lot of people have been through some horrible shit.
- 16:51Speaker 1: I interviewed Joelsarti the other day, who's speaking on our program,
- 16:55Speaker 1: who went to Afghanistan, served for Australia in the military,
- 17:00Speaker 1: spent eight months there on an active tour, came back,
- 17:05Speaker 1: was having a quick break before he went back to Afghanistan,
- 17:08Speaker 1: fell over railing railing on some stairs, broke his neck,
- 17:12Speaker 1: broke his neck is a quadriplegic. Now, if anyone's got
- 17:15Speaker 1: a reason to get stuck, it's that, dude. If you
- 17:18Speaker 1: want to rationalize doing nothing, feeling sorry for yourself, being
- 17:22Speaker 1: in a holding pattern, you know, getting stuck in all
- 17:25Speaker 1: kinds of ways, you would look at, at least from
- 17:28Speaker 1: the outside looking in, and look at that scenario and
- 17:31Speaker 1: what happened to Jijol and go, man, I get it,
- 17:34Speaker 1: I get it. But guess what, He's not stuck in
- 17:38Speaker 1: the middle of the mess and the mayhem and the
- 17:39Speaker 1: pain and the dysfunction and the physiological limitations and all
- 17:44Speaker 1: of the challenges, massive challenges of adapting to a brand
- 17:48Speaker 1: new life in a body that doesn't work as it
- 17:51Speaker 1: once did. In the middle of all of that, he's
- 17:54Speaker 1: growing and he's learning and he's developing skills and insight
- 17:57Speaker 1: and awareness, and he's courageous and he's doing fucking amazing shit,
- 18:03Speaker 1: and you can do too. We all can. It doesn't
- 18:07Speaker 1: mean we can all do anything. We can't all run
- 18:10Speaker 1: one hundred meters in ten seconds. We can't all win
- 18:12Speaker 1: a Grammy. We can't all become president or prime minister.
- 18:16Speaker 1: We can't just practically, we can't because we can't have
- 18:21Speaker 1: a million prime ministers at once. But there's a lot
- 18:24Speaker 1: of stuff that we can do. There's a lot of
- 18:26Speaker 1: stuff that we can do. So let's have a look
- 18:30Speaker 1: at some ideas on how to get unstuck. So I've
- 18:35Speaker 1: got a list for you, because you know the occasional
- 18:39Speaker 1: list doesn't hurt. Number one is, recognize your stuckness. Like that,
- 18:43Speaker 1: recognize that you are stuck, that you are trapped, that
- 18:47Speaker 1: you are in a holding pattern, that you are spinning
- 18:49Speaker 1: your wheels, whatever metaphor you want to to use, but
- 18:53Speaker 1: recognize that you are stuck and identify the cause. So
- 18:59Speaker 1: for a very long time, for example, with my body,
- 19:04Speaker 1: my stuckness, my holding pattern, my inability to look or feel,
- 19:10Speaker 1: or perform or achieve the level of health and performance
- 19:18Speaker 1: and body composition that I wanted for me. The cause
- 19:23Speaker 1: was food, specifically, my relationship with food, specifically, how I
- 19:28Speaker 1: thought about food, how I chose food, how I behaved
- 19:33Speaker 1: with food and around food, how I socialized, how I
- 19:37Speaker 1: bullshitted myself with food, how I lied to people. People
- 19:43Speaker 1: would ask me about what I eat, and I would
- 19:45Speaker 1: be too embarrassed at times to tell them really what
- 19:47Speaker 1: I ate sometimes, so I would make up some bullshit
- 19:50Speaker 1: to sound good, And so I was in a holding pattern.
- 19:54Speaker 1: I was stuck. I had this toxic, destructive relationship with food.
- 19:58Speaker 1: By the way, food wasn't problem. I was the problem.
- 20:01Speaker 1: It's just that food was the epicenter of the problem.
- 20:06Speaker 1: And so that was for me, you know, owning up
- 20:09Speaker 1: and stepping up and being honest and raw and real.
- 20:11Speaker 1: And the reason that I share that this was part
- 20:14Speaker 1: of my journey is because I know other people do
- 20:16Speaker 1: the same. I know that I don't live on an
- 20:19Speaker 1: island in this respect. I'm not Robinson Cruzoe. I'm not
- 20:23Speaker 1: the only person to have done this. I've spoken to
- 20:25Speaker 1: maybe thousands of people who have very very complicated relationships
- 20:29Speaker 1: with their body, very complicated relationships with food and with
- 20:34Speaker 1: exercise and with self esteem and with body image and
- 20:38Speaker 1: body dysmorphia. And I think the starting point for a
- 20:41Speaker 1: lot of us, the unstuck, getting unstruck starting point is
- 20:45Speaker 1: just being fucking honest. I eat shit. I don't need
- 20:51Speaker 1: the end not ah yeah, but my genetics. But yeah,
- 20:55Speaker 1: but you know, I didn't want to offend anyone, but
- 20:57Speaker 1: oh it was all I could get my hands on. Ah,
- 20:59Speaker 1: but it was my birthday. Oh but it was. It
- 21:02Speaker 1: was you know, and you're fifty there, and now you're
- 21:06Speaker 1: fifty and you're still telling yourself why you're not doing
- 21:10Speaker 1: the things that you allegedly want to do. Like, you
- 21:15Speaker 1: will not accidentally get in great shape. You will not
- 21:17Speaker 1: accidentally have a fucking awesome body, awesome health, amazing immune system.
- 21:23Speaker 1: You will not accidentally run a fucking marathon or whatever
- 21:27Speaker 1: it is that or build a business or build a brand,
- 21:29Speaker 1: or do an undergrad degree or overcoming it. You'll not
- 21:34Speaker 1: accidentally do these things. We need to acknowledge the reality
- 21:38Speaker 1: of us. This is why I'm doing a Part of
- 21:42Speaker 1: why I'm doing a PhD in self awareness, literally is
- 21:46Speaker 1: because self awareness with so much of this stuff is
- 21:49Speaker 1: the starting point. Not self loathing, not self hate, self awareness.
- 21:56Speaker 1: This is what I'm doing okay, my life's not working
- 21:59Speaker 1: in this context. What part of the problem am I.
- 22:04Speaker 1: It's not to say you're always the totality of the problem,
- 22:08Speaker 1: but let's just be brave for a moment and courageous
- 22:10Speaker 1: and grown up and mature and let's go, yeah, look,
- 22:13Speaker 1: at least I'm part of the problem, all right. Number
- 22:17Speaker 1: two is this, identify the thing that you're not doing
- 22:22Speaker 1: that you should be doing. So what might that be
- 22:26Speaker 1: for you? Maybe that is maybe that is you need
- 22:32Speaker 1: to study thirty minutes every morning. Maybe that is you
- 22:35Speaker 1: need to start having a cold shower every day. Maybe
- 22:39Speaker 1: that is you need to commit to some I don't
- 22:43Speaker 1: know what it is, doesn't matter. It could be something
- 22:46Speaker 1: to do with your kids or your partner. Could be
- 22:49Speaker 1: something to do with your career. Could be something to
- 22:52Speaker 1: do with your physical, mental, or emotional health. It could
- 22:55Speaker 1: be something to do with a toxic relationship that you
- 22:59Speaker 1: need to deal with. It could be something to do
- 23:02Speaker 1: with your lifestyle. It could be a million things. But
- 23:08Speaker 1: what is the thing that you're not doing that you
- 23:11Speaker 1: know you should be. Number three is kind of an
- 23:16Speaker 1: expansion of that, and that is to do a stock
- 23:22Speaker 1: take or audit on what's working and what's not working
- 23:29Speaker 1: on planet you. And this is not something that you
- 23:34Speaker 1: do in three minutes driving to work, listening to the radio,
- 23:38Speaker 1: looking for a park. This is something that I think
- 23:42Speaker 1: really we need to take seriously about when we talk
- 23:45Speaker 1: about living consciously. We spoke before about unconscious stuff and
- 23:52Speaker 1: how you know. In many ways, for a range of reasons,
- 23:56Speaker 1: many of us are periodic passengers in our own life. Life.
- 24:01Speaker 1: That is, life has its own energy, Life has its
- 24:04Speaker 1: own life force, Life has its own momentum, and life
- 24:11Speaker 1: happens despite us. Life keeps going on, and the things
- 24:16Speaker 1: that we are in the middle of have their own
- 24:18Speaker 1: momentum and energy as well. And sometimes we need to
- 24:22Speaker 1: get out of that river, that ever flowing river that
- 24:26Speaker 1: we are sitting in our canoe just being swept that
- 24:29Speaker 1: we need to paddle to the side. We need to
- 24:31Speaker 1: get to the metaphoric bank, pull up our canoe and
- 24:35Speaker 1: our paddle, sit on the metaphoric rock and just take
- 24:38Speaker 1: a minute. Take a minute, get out of the river,
- 24:42Speaker 1: get out of the momentum, get out of the busyness,
- 24:44Speaker 1: get out of the never endingness, even if it's for
- 24:47Speaker 1: thirty minutes to sit no phone, no computer, no distractions,
- 24:53Speaker 1: just you thinking about how's my life going? How is
- 24:59Speaker 1: my life going, How's my body going? What about my rituals?
- 25:08Speaker 1: What about my social life? What about? What about my sleep?
- 25:13Speaker 1: What about my self talk? What about my mental health?
- 25:16Speaker 1: How's that going on? What's that about? What about? What
- 25:20Speaker 1: about the results that I'm producing? Are they the results
- 25:24Speaker 1: I want to produce? If not, why not? What am
- 25:26Speaker 1: I doing? What could I do better? One of the
- 25:30Speaker 1: challenges for us is that, obviously my world view is subjective.
- 25:39Speaker 1: All of my experiences are influenced by the goings on
- 25:43Speaker 1: in my external world, but ultimately created by me. And
- 25:46Speaker 1: when I say me, I say my brain, my mind,
- 25:48Speaker 1: my data processing center. I am always doing a subjective
- 25:53Speaker 1: assessment and interpretation of objective things. Something happens to me
- 26:00Speaker 1: around me despite me a person, a situation and outcome,
- 26:04Speaker 1: a result, the weather, some piece of news. Then what
- 26:09Speaker 1: I do, automatically and almost unconsciously, is I break it
- 26:14Speaker 1: down and I give it meaning. And one of the
- 26:18Speaker 1: challenges for us, in the continuity and the never endingness
- 26:21Speaker 1: of the human experience and the never ending stream of
- 26:29Speaker 1: information and energy and people and events, is to be
- 26:35Speaker 1: able to find some space, some metaphoric space, sometimes some
- 26:38Speaker 1: literal space to say, well, here I am, I'm thirty,
- 26:43Speaker 1: I'm forty, I'm fifty. How long have I been thinking
- 26:47Speaker 1: about changing these things? How many times have I had
- 26:51Speaker 1: the same story or told myself the same or others
- 26:56Speaker 1: the same story about the same things that I'm going
- 26:58Speaker 1: to change soon. I'm going to I'm doing it soon.
- 27:02Speaker 1: But here I am, and now I'm fifty and I'm
- 27:05Speaker 1: not doing it. What are the things that on planet
- 27:10Speaker 1: me are not working? And what are the things that
- 27:14Speaker 1: are working? What are my results telling me? What's my
- 27:16Speaker 1: life telling me? What are my relationships telling me? Things
- 27:20Speaker 1: won't accidentally get better? You and I will do the audit.
- 27:27Speaker 1: We will observe the thing, recognize the thing, we'll take
- 27:29Speaker 1: ownership of the thing, and then we'll work to change
- 27:32Speaker 1: the thing that needs to be changed, or we won't.
- 27:36Speaker 1: That's up to you, that's up to me. All right, team,
- 27:39Speaker 1: I'm going to interrupt myself there. We're going to call this.
- 27:43Speaker 1: This went longer than I anticipated, So we're going to
- 27:45Speaker 1: call this bit where I'm at right now, the end
- 27:48Speaker 1: of part one. I hope you're enjoying it. I think
- 27:50Speaker 1: this is a really important conversation. We'll be back tomorrow
- 27:54Speaker 1: with the end the Conclusion Part two. See then