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Forgiving the most important person is your road to recovery · Connor with Honor: AI, Real Estate and Real Life

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: You really don't know how much it matters until you get tired enough.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: And you're never gonna get tired enough if you're always in somebody else's reality.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: You're watching TV all the time, you're dug into social media, you're watching funny cat videos.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: I guess that was a thing, but probably not anymore.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: But you're doing things to take you out of where maybe you should look a little bit more intently.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: And when I look at my transformation, I remember thinking, this is gonna take forever.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: You know, here I have 140, 130, 140 pounds.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: I really want to torch off.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, at the very beginning, it wasn't even me realizing how much.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: I thought it'd be nice to get maybe 280, 290.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: I was at 365.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: I thought that'd be a pretty good place to be.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: 280 pounds, you know, 290 pounds.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: So when I got there, when I when I dropped off at what about 70, 75 pounds, and I got to that point, by then it had become just like cheating on my meals was before, this had started to become very autopilot-esque.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: Just something that I did, a way that I ate.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: And my choice was the fasting way, where I didn't eat for long periods of time, and then I had a meal, that very first meal after a fast, after a fast of any time, should always be respected.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: And that took a lot of learning as well.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I practiced this a lot, this fasting thing.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Finally, though, once it started to become just very natural, very normal, everybody that was around me understood the way.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody that was around me knew that I didn't care if they ate in front of me.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's like I used to drink alcohol, I don't drink alcohol anymore.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's just a choice, another choice that I made, just doesn't really fit with me very good, at least anymore.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I made that personal choice to stop drinking alcohol.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: And that's still kind of weird.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: You get around people and they want to want to know if you had a problem with alcohol.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: You know, what happened?
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: What's your story?
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Why don't you drink anymore?
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: And that's after they give you a super hard time about not drinking, about why don't you just have one?
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you know, Connor's not good with one of anything.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Connor has an addictive thing.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna go out and I'm gonna grab everything I can.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: So we won't go there.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: But I'll I I remember back, I didn't really have that number.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you see this, oh, I'd like to get down to this weight.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what I would have looked like.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: I I think the scales, I'm six foot one, the charts, the navel charts, I know we know they're skewed, but I think right now at 250, I think I'm obese on those charts.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: I think I should be somewhere about 170, 180.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if it's capable of me getting there.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: I would have to, I would have to deplete, you know, some of the muscle I have stored on my system.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: But know this.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Once you start, once you have that moment of self-reflection, and you tell yourself some of the things that I've read over time that have really helped, one of the biggest things was don't lie to myself.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: I can lie to anybody else, I can lie to the world, I can be dishonest and cheat and steal, whatever it is, but at the end of the day, I need to come to Jesus on all those points and be honest with me.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: And the other part of that, if I'm honest with myself all the time, I'll never fail again at anything I want to do.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: At least under my power.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: Court God's in the equation, all of that, I understand that, but again, in my power.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: So I was a very big saboteur.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: I would sabotage myself, doing a lot of different things.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: And it especially occurred all those years, and again, I started when I was a kid eating the high sugar, high-carb food, just started that lifestyle of mine and just kept going.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm st I love carbohydrates.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: I love chocolate and cake and cookies and candy and sweet drinks and coke and alcohol and the whole nine years.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: I love all that stuff.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: But it just doesn't fit with me anymore.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: My path is different.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: I chose a different path.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe that's what you need.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you need to choose a different path.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe what you're doing isn't serving your best interest.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: When you wake up in the morning tired, and you go to bed tired, and you're always hungry, and you just don't feel great, and you don't feel like doing anything except getting up, struggling to shower, getting to whatever job there is, coming back home, you know, after you kind of fight it out all day long, coming back home, sitting in front of the television, doing maybe a couple honeydo, honeydo things, but then that's it.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: You watch the nightly news, you have your dinner, you maybe have a beer or two, whatever it may be, because the wife drinks wine and it's all great.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: Stay away from that, but again, you do all this, and then it's repeat.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: So basically at that point, you're on autopilot.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, addicts like myself that were really addicted to food, I would find myself in drive-throughs.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: Now, of course, I drove into the drive-thru.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't go in blind, but it's almost a very strange, overpowering thing, almost like missing a freeway exit.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: You're wanting to go home, your mind is somewhere else, you're driving your car, and you're supposed to take this one exit to get to your house the fastest, and you're driving, then you realize, oh my god, I just missed the exit.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: You weren't even thinking about the exits.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: It was like a block of time that you don't recall, almost like blacking out, but this is completely sober stuff.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: It was very much reflective of that kind of a feeling going through my process.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: But once I started to realize that even if I did screw up, it was okay to forgive myself and continue on my new path, whatever that is.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: That was the critical element.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: Screw it up, yeah, it's gonna happen.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it won't, but with some it does.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: With most it does.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: So once you do, the differentiation point is you being able to now come back and reset and start from that point.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: Don't continue for a day the next day.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's the weekend, I might as well start Monday.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's Thanksgiving week.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: We can start Friday.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: Let's we should start Saturday, because Friday's leftovers on Friday.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of excuses that one can draw.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: Don't do that to yourself.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Be completely upfront with yourself.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: If you screw up, start over quickly.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Don't hesitate, don't feel bad about it, just start over.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: Don't let it go too far.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's Connor B.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: Well.