Latest / Lose the Plot with Carla and Emily / The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren - An Enemies to Fake Married Spew Fest!

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The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren - An Enemies to Fake Married Spew Fest! · Lose the Plot with Carla and Emily

• 0:00
  Hi friends, you're listening to Lose the Plot with Carla and
• 0:03
  Emily. In this episode we're reading
• 0:05
  The UN Honeymooners by Christina Lauren.
• 0:08
  We are talking about the entire book, so warning there will be
• 0:12
  spoilers. I'm Carla.
• 0:27
  Work like a captain, play like a pirate.
• 0:31
  I'm Emily. Imagine shitting yourself at
• 0:34
  your own wedding. Just means it's not gonna last.
• 0:38
  Before we dive into this episode, AKA the tale of food
• 0:41
  poisoning, forced proximity and fake wedded bliss, we need to
• 0:46
  ask you a teeny tiny favour. If you've been enjoying our
• 0:49
  podcast and want us to continue serving up more steamy
• 0:53
  disasters, hop over to our profile and leave us a five star
• 0:57
  review. Got friends who would enjoy some
• 0:59
  enemies to lovers Spice with a side of bad buffet shrimp?
• 1:03
  Share our podcast with them. Thank you for supporting us.
• 1:08
  Trigger warnings from booktriggerwarnings.com
• 1:11
  Cheating, vomiting, fat phobia, manipulation, and toxic
• 1:15
  relationship. What?
• 1:18
  That's like the shortest list that we've had for a long time.
• 1:22
  I mean, it is just a romance, you know.
• 1:24
  Oh. Just that.
• 1:25
  Standard, run-of-the-mill. Copy paste.
• 1:30
  To be fair, at least it wasn't that copy paste.
• 1:32
  Honestly it wasn't. I feel like there was no plot
• 1:35
  holes. Oh holy shit, are you kidding?
• 1:39
  In the start. It's 2025 and we've finally
• 1:42
  found a book. Like I like.
• 1:44
  Something happens in a book and you're like, yeah, they didn't
• 1:47
  line that up correctly. I feel like the start of the
• 1:51
  book. She lined it up almost.
• 1:53
  Perfectly. Like it's believable.
• 1:55
  Yeah, I think that's I was sugar and I was worried that this book
• 1:58
  wouldn't be exciting enough because I'm like, it kind of
• 2:01
  makes sense in a way and I hate fake wedding.
• 2:05
  What about fake dating? Oh.
• 2:08
  Fake marriage is even worse than fake dating, because at least
• 2:11
  fake dating there's no real consequence, you know what I
• 2:15
  mean? But fake marriage?
• 2:17
  Whole lot of consequences. Let's not worry about that.
• 2:20
  Let's talk about olive olive oil, our main female.
• 2:25
  Octavia. Octavia.
• 2:27
  What else? Otta, Otta.
• 2:31
  That's it. Olivia Benson.
• 2:33
  Olivia Benson. OK, so we've got Olive.
• 2:37
  Her twin sister is Amy. From the get go we understand
• 2:43
  that Amy is the Type A. She is the type A Olive is the
• 2:46
  type. BI.
• 2:48
  Feel like. But also type.
• 2:51
  AI feel like Amy's type a A. Yeah, like.
• 2:55
  She's like an A+, yes, like crazy.
• 2:59
  Because I feel like as a Type A you want to organise your time
• 3:02
  correctly and spending it writing essays for contests is
• 3:07
  not probably. Well, they're both neuronic.
• 3:12
  They're actually both crazy. I was feeling like Amy's more
• 3:16
  that because it set her up to be the bridezilla, yes.
• 3:19
  And then I was like, oh, Olivia's the cool girl, but
• 3:22
  she's more just the pessimist. Yeah.
• 3:24
  She's like everything happens to be and everything's based on
• 3:27
  this universal luck system that was established when we were
• 3:30
  born in. We were fucking in the inutero.
• 3:33
  Realistically, it's like, look, bitch, you probably just need
• 3:37
  glasses and you're clumsy as fuck.
• 3:40
  Everything's clumsy. I'm like, God, do you not look
• 3:42
  around? Honestly she's probably low iron
• 3:44
  low to 12. Like get some fucking infusions
• 3:47
  into your. Mind blind so.
• 3:49
  Iron. Blind as a butt, blind as a
• 3:53
  bitch. Bitch, Charles is blind.
• 3:58
  But anyway, I was like, OK, so this is going to be a bridezilla
• 4:01
  and it's going to be all about her and her sister, No.
• 4:04
  No, not at all. It was only the setup.
• 4:07
  Amy's just a wild background character, yeah.
• 4:11
  But. She makes no sense as a person.
• 4:13
  No, but the setting is her wedding, so of course Olive is
• 4:17
  like. I'm never going to get married
• 4:19
  now, she. Wasn't really.
• 4:21
  She was just like Amy's the one getting married and she looks
• 4:24
  like a bride and I'm just a big fat fromp.
• 4:26
  I'm just all green, all tits. Oh Oh my God, can we talk about?
• 4:31
  OK, so Amy's wearing this beautiful bridal dress.
• 4:34
  Fucking olive. All of her bridesmaids were
• 4:37
  wearing this ugly green. Tits on fleek.
• 4:41
  Though she. Has not seen on fleek tits.
• 4:43
  No. Tits to the sky.
• 4:50
  She can't even see where she's going.
• 4:51
  This is why she's so clumsy, because.
• 4:54
  Bitches tits Katy Perry. They're orbiting the universe.
• 4:57
  Just psychotic behaviour. I.
• 5:01
  Just don't understand OK? If you I'm sorry, if you know
• 5:05
  your sister's crazy and like picking coupon shit, it's going
• 5:10
  to be ugly. Just ask them to all buy their
• 5:13
  own dress at this point. What I don't understand is you
• 5:16
  making your bridesmaids look ugly.
• 5:18
  Makes the entire bridal party look ugly you stupid bitch.
• 5:22
  It doesn't make you look. Better in comparison, why are
• 5:25
  you making it wear a dress that makes it look like a shiny
• 5:28
  Kermit the Frog? If anything, it's quite
• 5:30
  distracting. Literally you.
• 5:32
  Can be bedazzled up and it doesn't matter.
• 5:34
  I'm going to be looking at Tits McGee.
• 5:38
  The. Fucking one wearing the Muppet
• 5:39
  outfit. You know what though?
• 5:41
  Also, if you think about professional photography, that
• 5:44
  lighting is going to be bouncing off that white wedding dress.
• 5:46
  Why would you want Flurry Green bouncing off everyone's faces?
• 5:49
  They're going to look sick. Oh wait, foreshadowing.
• 5:52
  They're going to look sick, and then they're going to get sick
• 5:55
  anyway. Well.
• 5:56
  Considering she had fake snow down the aisle, there was no
• 5:59
  hurt. Honestly, they're just inhaling
• 6:01
  a special. The theme.
• 6:02
  The theme was literally Christmas in like July.
• 6:05
  Absolutely. Not and then the bit where I
• 6:08
  nearly. Quit the book was when she said,
• 6:10
  because we talked about this green dress 800 times and I was
• 6:13
  like, we need to. Stop and.
• 6:15
  Like it was the bit where she. Said she looks like a Saint
• 6:17
  Patty's Day decoration or something.
• 6:19
  And I was like I was. I was literally picturing just
• 6:23
  Stifler's mum at this point. Yes.
• 6:25
  Like Oh no, yes, oh, bedazzled in awkward areas.
• 6:31
  Oh no. Green it spanks out because it
• 6:35
  ends up ripping. Oh, but that just adds to her
• 6:39
  like fat theme. Like the theme about her weight?
• 6:43
  You know what? I'm true?
• 6:44
  Her own fat phobia. Oh.
• 6:48
  Jesus. Christ.
• 6:49
  So anyway, she's trying to be a good sport.
• 6:50
  She's like, whatever. She's just like where?
• 6:53
  This I'm in, I'm in hell, but it's OK.
• 6:56
  Who? Who?
• 6:57
  Plans a wedding. And there's no idea what they're
• 7:00
  wearing for. Like usually bridesmaids know
• 7:02
  and have a fitting for themselves months or a year.
• 7:05
  That's too expensive. But OK, she's.
• 7:08
  Couponed. Her Pinterest board babe.
• 7:10
  Oh. Just send her the picture or
• 7:12
  even like they say in the end of the book that they're adding
• 7:15
  each other's house almost daily. Yes, go to a house with the
• 7:18
  dress, my girl. I honestly think she did that on
• 7:22
  purpose because she knew that she wasn't going to be.
• 7:24
  Able to say it's an asshole, Amy.
• 7:25
  Is an asshole. And I was just like, well, OK, I
• 7:28
  thought that was going to be half of the book, Amy being this
• 7:31
  asshole. Yeah.
• 7:32
  And then the second, OK, well, we'll we'll circle back.
• 7:35
  So let's we're getting that wedding.
• 7:38
  I know I'm getting ahead, so let's get to the wedding.
• 7:40
  Whatever, it's a wedding. Is there a demon there?
• 7:45
  The. Exorcist actually, that's what
• 7:50
  was happening at the wedding, so.
• 7:53
  The actual wedding itself, over our heads, wasn't mentioned.
• 7:57
  Did not care but I hate weddings.
• 7:58
  I'm glad they glossed over. It glossed over a wedding
• 8:01
  glossing. Over babe.
• 8:03
  Before the wedding even starts, we have Olive having to check
• 8:06
  Ethan's health requirements, thank God and her.
• 8:10
  Mission was to also make sure his speech was why are women
• 8:13
  having to do all these stupid things to make sure men are
• 8:17
  doing their job properly? And considering she's an unlucky
• 8:20
  girl, why is she checking the speech?
• 8:23
  She's got no humour anyway. Oh, OK, hear me out, Hear me
• 8:28
  out. I just had a thought.
• 8:29
  I had a thought. Yeah, the whole end of the book.
• 8:32
  We'll get to it, yeah. Is her being everyone being
• 8:34
  like, you're so angry, you're so bitter, you're not funny because
• 8:38
  you're just angry and bitter all the time, but you wanted her to
• 8:41
  check the best man's speech exactly.
• 8:44
  Why is she the tone checker? Why is she?
• 8:46
  Not be but also the most cynical and aggro people are the best
• 8:50
  comedians. Exactly.
• 8:51
  Have you heard? Dave Chappelle, have you heard?
• 8:53
  Louis CK Have you heard like all of the.
• 8:56
  Comedians. That are just.
• 8:58
  Fucking aggro. Yeah, they're funny.
• 9:00
  They're bit, it is their bit and they're so they'll even like be
• 9:03
  angry on stage. But she's not like, angry in a
• 9:06
  funny way. I think she's just not funny.
• 9:09
  She's angry in like a woe is me way.
• 9:12
  Yeah, she's pessimistic. She's like, it's all my sister's
• 9:15
  fault. I don't know, maybe it is.
• 9:17
  She just got so lucky, honestly. Is she lucky or is she entering
• 9:21
  5000 competitions and doing 5000 surveys on the Internet every
• 9:25
  day? Is she?
• 9:26
  Lucky. Or is she just motivated?
• 9:28
  No, obviously. You're a nurse with all this
• 9:30
  free time. I.
• 9:31
  Feel like Olive is the one, like Amy's the one who sucked up all
• 9:36
  the nutrients in the pregnancy and then Olive is just bitter
• 9:40
  about it. She's like, I'm actually just
• 9:43
  came out like a wrinkly, ugly little baby.
• 9:46
  And. Fat and fat.
• 9:47
  Don't forget fat. She came out sucking down them
• 9:51
  cheese skirts. The amount of time fucking.
• 9:53
  Cheese Skirt I. Don't know.
• 9:55
  I don't want to know, eh, babe? I don't know, babe.
• 10:02
  Honestly, babe. Should I Google it?
• 10:05
  I don't know, you should. It sounds.
• 10:06
  Fucking foul. It's honestly it's.
• 10:08
  Ugly. It's literally though if.
• 10:11
  Someone's slurping down cheese curds, I'm going to give them
• 10:15
  the filthiest look. I feel like that's not Ethan's
• 10:17
  fault. He wasn't fat phobia ring her.
• 10:21
  He was cheese curd phobia. Ring her.
• 10:23
  It's, it just says it's just. I'm.
• 10:32
  Losing it, What does it mean? It's like lumps of mozzarella.
• 10:38
  Cheese curds are just cuddled meat.
• 10:41
  Cuddled meat. Kettle milk.
• 10:45
  Fucking. Hell.
• 10:47
  No wonder why this family is having fucking food poisoning
• 10:49
  problems. No wonder it's like a.
• 10:51
  Crisis. What do you think it's like?
• 10:54
  Tyson Diller and she's just sitting there farting, and then
• 10:56
  that's why he was turned off. And it wasn't.
• 11:00
  The fact it's like curdled milk, why is that your OK?
• 11:04
  Can we just think about what cheese is?
• 11:07
  It's not that fattening. No, it's good for you like it's.
• 11:10
  Protein. You know what I mean?
• 11:11
  So like, why would him giving her the hairy eyeball really
• 11:14
  mean that he's calling her a hippo?
• 11:16
  Like this is what she's held. Onto from the dawn of their
• 11:18
  meeting, they've been for. Three years.
• 11:21
  So Amy married Dane, right? Yes, Ethan's older brother, our
• 11:26
  younger brother. Sorry.
• 11:27
  Yeah, so Ethan is the older brother, 34, and Oliver.
• 11:30
  What a sexy age. 34. Such a great age.
• 11:34
  Such. A wonder why so so human olive
• 11:39
  met way back when and she held on to this idea that he saw a.
• 11:43
  Slurping gun these. Cheese cuts.
• 11:47
  Like a pig. And a through and.
• 11:49
  Then he's. Forever turned off by her.
• 11:53
  Honestly. Honestly.
• 11:54
  I'm starting to think it's fucking valid.
• 11:57
  It's still a fair and it's like, you know what, cheese.
• 11:59
  Kids, wasn't it that she was getting a second serving or
• 12:02
  something and that's what she thought he judged for?
• 12:04
  I don't even. I don't know why.
• 12:07
  Why? Won't you just eating?
• 12:09
  That. You know what?
• 12:15
  For our own fat phobia, OK. I.
• 12:21
  Don't care. Look, honestly, we'll keep
• 12:25
  circling. Finally I'm.
• 12:27
  Trying to change the direction. OK, Can we talk?
• 12:29
  About what the fuck does Dane even look like?
• 12:31
  Because all we hear about is Ethan's hot.
• 12:34
  How? How is Ethan hot but Dane's
• 12:36
  ugly? How?
• 12:38
  They're practically twins. Themselves, Ethan got the good
• 12:40
  genes. Oh, so he sucked up all the
• 12:43
  nutrients? Yeah. 1st and.
• 12:44
  You know. Dane like sometimes it just
• 12:46
  dawdles down between OK me 1/3. Me.
• 12:53
  Youngest like so like human centipede, if you will yes so
• 12:59
  we. Just where's the genetics?
• 13:03
  Like Girl I. Don't know.
• 13:04
  I don't know about this. Look, honestly, I'm not a
• 13:07
  scientist. Honestly.
• 13:10
  Are we? On just.
• 13:10
  Something look around, honestly, let's start with Flat Earth
• 13:15
  theory next episode and let's just start to work.
• 13:19
  Easy Flat Earth. It's real.
• 13:22
  It's real. That's my.
• 13:23
  Space. Oh my God.
• 13:23
  Not the trickle down, not the. Electric cool down.
• 13:26
  Not. No moons.
• 13:27
  OK, so we're merging the theory of evolution, but also with
• 13:32
  birth order, so. That's the macro I'm saying.
• 13:37
  OK. It's for society.
• 13:40
  The more children you have, the uglier they get.
• 13:43
  You're just traumatising the children.
• 13:46
  I feel like, I feel like and I've.
• 13:49
  I. Feel like I've read this
• 13:50
  somewhere that usually the younger sibling has less
• 13:54
  depression and anxiety and is more physically attractive look.
• 13:58
  All I'm saying is one, I'm not a scientist 2 I dropped out of
• 14:03
  high school. I love that confession.
• 14:08
  Just like. Dude, so I can only be correct.
• 14:15
  TuneIn next time for Flat Earth. Honestly though, Flat Earth.
• 14:21
  Emily's opinions are the only ones that are oh duh, they're
• 14:25
  real, backed by hosts and parents.
• 14:27
  What we do what we do, though, is Dane's ugly.
• 14:31
  Dane's fucking. Through and through.
• 14:35
  He's ran through to. Taint he.
• 14:38
  Looks like he was. His parents were rats.
• 14:45
  You tainted. As the same parents.
• 14:47
  Right, he. Looks.
• 14:49
  Like he his parents were cousins, but Ethan's?
• 14:53
  Why not? So they're half brothers.
• 14:57
  Now it's kind of. He looks like his mum is his
• 15:01
  sister and his uncle. What a downgrade like you.
• 15:05
  You fucking are in a relationship with someone.
• 15:08
  That's normal and. Then.
• 15:11
  You end up dating your cousin only to have Dane as you're.
• 15:16
  Just giving Queen Elizabeth. I don't know how we got here.
• 15:23
  Oh, but at least it's better than she's Curt.
• 15:26
  Cheese, I told. You.
• 15:31
  It was Scatterbrain this weekend.
• 15:32
  You have been forewarned. Amy is depressed.
• 15:40
  She lost. So many competitions is this.
• 15:44
  Like your version of I'm not a scientist and now I'm not a
• 15:46
  therapist. I'm going to diagnose.
• 15:51
  Her Amy, She is anxious, she's depressed.
• 15:53
  Oh my God, she low. Key She is sleep deprived.
• 15:59
  Are you talking about Olive or Amy?
• 16:00
  Amy, OK. Olive is jobless.
• 16:02
  She is well. She slept.
• 16:06
  Why does it seem like Olive never has a job?
• 16:10
  She doesn't. She is.
• 16:13
  Unlucky A. Fun fact Olivia Olivia Olive
• 16:17
  fired. Amy fired.
• 16:19
  Tired, Tired nurse. Yes, tired nurse.
• 16:23
  Sleep deprived. That's it.
• 16:27
  Dane Ugly, Ethan Pot, 6/4. That's all we need to know about
• 16:33
  him. Yikes.
• 16:34
  OK, so going back to the wedding, they're having a buffet
• 16:39
  and seafood buffet, if you will, buffet and Ethan's not eating it
• 16:43
  and he is Olivia Benson is not eating it.
• 16:46
  Ethan is horrified by buffets. Is he?
• 16:50
  Yeah, he said. His buffet is a hard knife.
• 16:54
  But later it's revealed that it's not the buffet that's the
• 16:57
  problem. No, it is.
• 16:59
  It's the sharing food. Yeah, it's the buffet.
• 17:02
  Even when they're in the hotel room, she orders him a fruit
• 17:04
  platter separately so he's not. Honestly, why am I 100% Ethan?
• 17:09
  Honestly valid. Honestly though, because the
• 17:11
  flight anxiety was like, not actually.
• 17:13
  Eating seafood? Out of the flight anxiety, the
• 17:15
  OCD, the contamination fear, the pettiness, the obliviousness.
• 17:21
  Oh. I can relate to Ethan.
• 17:23
  Yeah, same. This should have been from his
• 17:26
  point of view. Yeah, honestly would have been
• 17:29
  better. Would have been better.
• 17:30
  His point of view, in the end, was good.
• 17:32
  Yeah. Anyway, circling back.
• 17:34
  Anyway, so they're all vomit piss shitting turn.
• 17:38
  The Wall. She starts speaking and everyone
• 17:40
  starts shitting themselves. Shitting themselves.
• 17:45
  Would you rather shit yourself and be able to play it off or
• 17:47
  vomit violently in front of everyone?
• 17:49
  Vomit violently. Really, I feel like if you're
• 17:52
  wearing a tight green dress at a wedding and you're shitting
• 17:54
  yourself, it's down your leg. I feel like though if you're
• 17:57
  wearing Spanx, it's keeping everything all in there.
• 18:00
  True, true. Yeah, it's not.
• 18:02
  Getting out. Literally.
• 18:03
  Yeah, but you'll smell. You'll smell like shit.
• 18:06
  It's got. Nowhere else to go, it goes back
• 18:09
  up your. Ass, yeah, but it will come out.
• 18:13
  It'll go. If it doesn't go down, it goes
• 18:15
  up. So would you rather your?
• 18:17
  Back it would like. Contaminating my brain.
• 18:20
  It gets so so your. Options are it will come out, it
• 18:25
  won't go down your leg, it'll be up your back.
• 18:27
  I. Could totally make an excuse and
• 18:28
  run out of it. I feel like violently vomiting,
• 18:32
  Yeah. I'd be like, I have my period
• 18:34
  and then I just Sprint out of there and then set fire.
• 18:36
  I. Feel like they will know because
• 18:38
  they're looking around the room to everyone vomiting and they're
• 18:40
  like she's the only. One like just say you're the
• 18:43
  first, you're patient zero. Ah yeah.
• 18:45
  And then the everything else is going nice like, well,
• 18:49
  everything else is elegant, classy.
• 18:51
  And then rather quietly shit myself, I have my period, yeah,
• 18:56
  pissing out my own ass and then just run out the back and then
• 18:59
  like. So you're at a wedding.
• 19:01
  But you're at a wedding so also just roll you're at.
• 19:03
  Woody. No.
• 19:05
  You're saying you're the only one that shits yourself at this
• 19:09
  wedding. OK.
• 19:10
  And then no one else is and you're just standing by for
• 19:14
  speeches? What if you're standing next to
• 19:16
  olive? What if you are olive?
• 19:18
  So I'm thinking if I'm just a guest in the bridal party at the
• 19:21
  table and then at least I can excuse myself and run away and
• 19:24
  no one's going to know anything. But if I was stuck there, I'd
• 19:27
  probably just vomit onto the table.
• 19:29
  But imagine though, because everyone will turn around and
• 19:31
  look at you like projector. People will not forget that in
• 19:35
  their entire life. Whereas me, all I have to do is
• 19:39
  scrub my own memory of setting fire to my diarrhoea Spanx,
• 19:42
  which I feel like I've taken nastier things to the grave at
• 19:46
  this point. So like, who cares?
• 19:48
  Yeah, that's true. Like the things that I've seen.
• 19:50
  But then if everyone else is vomiting and shitting
• 19:53
  themselves, they're not going to give a fuck.
• 19:54
  They're not. They don't care about what
• 19:56
  you're doing. I.
• 19:57
  Don't give fuck. Don't give fuck.
• 19:59
  Who cares? I'll do both.
• 20:00
  Both ends. I would just rather not.
• 20:04
  Turns out they have this particular type of food
• 20:06
  poisoning that lasts up to like months.
• 20:09
  Months and months. So they're like wiped because
• 20:11
  they're supposed. To leave for their honeymoon.
• 20:14
  The next day. Yeah, as most people do.
• 20:16
  Maui. Yeah.
• 20:18
  And then what I don't get, and this is where I was already
• 20:20
  like, OK, I guess I got Amy wrong Is she's like, yeah, just
• 20:24
  go. I was like, huh, I thought she
• 20:26
  was going to be a bitch. About it?
• 20:27
  Nah. She's like, just go.
• 20:29
  It's non refundable, it's a waste of money.
• 20:32
  You're my twin. Which makes sense, but the thing
• 20:34
  about like the Ethan Dane thing, has anyone heard of Flight
• 20:38
  Center? Just fucking phone them up and
• 20:40
  do a name change babe. No, it said they couldn't.
• 20:44
  Oh I knew it was like non refundable.
• 20:46
  But and non transferable. But you could literally pay your
• 20:51
  fee because OK, Dane's ugly, Ethan's hot.
• 20:53
  How is Ethan going to pretend to be Dane?
• 20:56
  They only knew the last name. Why?
• 20:59
  She only gave him the last name. That's unrealistic.
• 21:02
  Think about flights so I can just hop on any plane that my
• 21:05
  sibling like had but. Nah.
• 21:08
  That's not. Anyway, I think it's hilarious
• 21:11
  that it never came up that Ethan was Dame, but it came up
• 21:15
  multiple times that Olive was pretending to be Amy.
• 21:18
  I was like, that's. You didn't.
• 21:20
  Get away with it. You've got to ID.
• 21:22
  You've got to face. Yeah, that makes more sense
• 21:24
  because they're twins, but not it.
• 21:26
  It makes more sense for Dane and Ethan switch to be caught out.
• 21:29
  Yeah. I don't know.
• 21:31
  Men just breathed breeze through life.
• 21:35
  It's because he they're like less stressed about life.
• 21:36
  It's. Because he didn't have to play,
• 21:39
  he didn't have to plan a single thing of the holiday.
• 21:42
  Not only that. Makes me mad.
• 21:44
  Talking about him breezing through, he didn't plan any
• 21:47
  activities and then he would get shitty playing your own fucking
• 21:52
  activities right? Angry.
• 21:54
  Why did Olive? Already have to do that.
• 21:56
  I was like you. Hate each other.
• 21:59
  Oh yeah, there's tension. So they're at pretty much the
• 22:02
  airport ready to go? Yes.
• 22:03
  And then Olive gets a phone call.
• 22:06
  Wait, isn't him actually Olive now?
• 22:07
  Gaslit myself. Yeah.
• 22:08
  OK, so Olive gets a phone call and they're like, oh, that job
• 22:12
  you interviewed for, like as research or whatever, You got
• 22:15
  the job. Yeah.
• 22:16
  Deleting and then she's like. She's like, oh, I could spend
• 22:19
  money. Now.
• 22:20
  And now she's thinking she might not be the series of unfortunate
• 22:25
  twin events that she originally thought.
• 22:27
  And she goes, oh now I can actually enjoy this as a holiday
• 22:30
  and I'm like bitch, when has this ever happened to me?
• 22:33
  Never. Never.
• 22:35
  Never. So I'm just getting salty over
• 22:37
  here. I'm going to Hawaii.
• 22:40
  Fuck away. I don't know, it's probably
• 22:42
  really nice. Too far to go.
• 22:45
  But also putting out about the flights.
• 22:49
  Ethan was salty about the shitty plane they went on.
• 22:53
  He. Could have fucking booked them.
• 22:54
  He knew she was jobless. Why are you letting the jobless
• 22:58
  one pay for the flights? Was it because of his flight
• 23:01
  anxiety? Maybe.
• 23:03
  But he didn't want to say that up front.
• 23:04
  Yeah, yeah. Why was she paying for it?
• 23:08
  Is he paying half back? He paid it back, but like he
• 23:12
  goes halfway through. He's like if I knew, you did
• 23:14
  know. Bitch, or you could have asked,
• 23:17
  You could have said, let's sit down again.
• 23:19
  Has anyone heard of whites and? Has anyone was fucking?
• 23:21
  Heard of? Web.
• 23:22
  Communication. Booking.com.
• 23:24
  Thrifty Flights. Skyscanner, whatever, he's like,
• 23:28
  cool, you have a job. Like it wasn't a big reaction,
• 23:30
  but she was like, Oh my God, he took that so well.
• 23:33
  Yeah. Bitch what?
• 23:35
  He practically wasn't even paying attention.
• 23:37
  He's probably double tapping on Instagram right now.
• 23:40
  He's on Tinder, just swiping through.
• 23:42
  Literally, he was. Flirting with someone on the
• 23:44
  plane. Yeah, he gets numbers everywhere
• 23:46
  he goes. Yeah, it's insane on the plane.
• 23:50
  She's realizing that he's quite anxious on the flight.
• 23:52
  He wants a beer. He doesn't want to spend $22.00
• 23:56
  Fax. Again me.
• 23:57
  She's got coupons. Me as fuck.
• 23:59
  The flight attendant was like, oh, happy newlyweds.
• 24:01
  And he was like, you know what? I want your number.
• 24:03
  Who are you? Convincing.
• 24:05
  But like, the reddest of red flags if you're that flight
• 24:08
  attendant. Like why is this freshly married
• 24:10
  guy trying to get my number? Exactly.
• 24:12
  Insane behaviour. Insane.
• 24:14
  They must see it all the time though also.
• 24:16
  Did they do wear rings or they just go on a holiday without
• 24:19
  rings? Oh, they did.
• 24:21
  Because she referenced it when she was showing the boss guy,
• 24:24
  which the fact that he had flight anxiety.
• 24:26
  She was like, oh, he's a human being, who cares?
• 24:29
  I was like, it's not a big deal that he's multifaceted and you
• 24:33
  just assumed everything about him based on his stupid cheese
• 24:36
  curds. He looks like he's scared of
• 24:38
  birds, so I feel like he's probably scared of a lot of
• 24:41
  things. I feel like he is 1 giant pussy
• 24:44
  and also he's very much female ridden male almost to the point
• 24:48
  of unbelievable. No, but he's too stupid.
• 24:52
  There's a bit where he is stupid, but ultimately he's too
• 24:55
  reflective. Yes.
• 24:58
  Ultimately, he's. Tuned and Dane's very man
• 25:01
  written man He's horrible. OK, so they get there to the
• 25:05
  resort and everything, everything's all good.
• 25:07
  They fucking what are the odds that they run into her future
• 25:12
  boss, who's going to be her boss at this new job that she just
• 25:16
  accepted and his wife and they're on a holiday.
• 25:20
  Not only that, his company motto is a loyalty and trust.
• 25:26
  It's on the actual name tag. It's like olive loyalty and
• 25:29
  trust underneath. I just literally would tell him
• 25:32
  on the dinner if I'm going to rock up to the dinner be like
• 25:35
  haha. Funny story, this is actually
• 25:37
  he's kind of like brother-in-law ish.
• 25:40
  Yeah, but you know, why should you even apologize?
• 25:43
  Because that's TMI. It is PMI but also it's like I
• 25:46
  feel like it'd just be an easy fix to be like hey sorry my
• 25:49
  sister literally powered through dispute through our wedding.
• 25:53
  It's non transferable. Like it's really not that bad.
• 25:55
  And also, you'd be like, isn't it great?
• 25:57
  That's why we're here. I feel like her boss was also
• 26:00
  more mad that his wife really liked Ethan.
• 26:04
  Yeah, that was the problem. She, I think the wife, he was
• 26:07
  mad that the wife just wanted to spend time with them both as a
• 26:10
  couple. But.
• 26:11
  Also, they both said we're being married for 30 years, we want to
• 26:17
  hang out with other people. Like, you guys are young, you
• 26:20
  guys are the honeymoon stage. Yeah.
• 26:23
  Just make your. Wife happy babe that's.
• 26:25
  Also, apparently, the dinner that made them fall in love.
• 26:30
  Really. Yeah, that's.
• 26:31
  Not yeah, she says it later. She's.
• 26:33
  Oh, no way. She says it's the boss.
• 26:36
  She goes. If it makes you feel any better,
• 26:37
  that's the dinner I fell in love with.
• 26:39
  Again, TMI later on as well. If I'm the boss, I'm like
• 26:42
  fucking bullet dodge with this crazy bitch.
• 26:45
  Yeah, imagine her being in your office, fake marriage and lying
• 26:48
  about all sorts of basic fundamental things with the
• 26:50
  crazy twins that you'd be like, no.
• 26:52
  No. Thank God we didn't hire that
• 26:54
  chick. But anyway, he didn't know that
• 26:56
  at the time. He's just like, cool, OK, I
• 26:57
  guess you're here on your honeymoon.
• 26:59
  And not only. That.
• 27:02
  They turn around one day and who's?
• 27:05
  There. Sophie it's.
• 27:07
  Literally ex. It's literally they walk from
• 27:10
  the dinner with the boss straight into Sophie.
• 27:14
  And of course we cannot have another female character that's
• 27:17
  not re answered. No, you know what?
• 27:19
  It really pissed me off how she talked about Sophie too.
• 27:23
  It's very picky. Didn't you catch that?
• 27:25
  Yeah. She literally said her fake tan
• 27:29
  and dyed hair and she was thinking about one day she's
• 27:32
  going to be leathery and I'm like, that is diabolical.
• 27:35
  If you think she has fake tan and dyed hair, that girl's going
• 27:38
  to be moisturized up the Duff daily.
• 27:41
  And what does it matter if someone has fake?
• 27:43
  Lots of people have fake tan and dyed hair that's.
• 27:45
  Like the whole. Population.
• 27:46
  But I'm like, girl, she's going to have a good tan forever.
• 27:49
  And she's on her honeymoon. Of course she's got a good, I
• 27:52
  mean, not on her honeymoon, but she's on a holiday.
• 27:55
  She's going to have a fake tin. My biggest pet peeve with books
• 27:58
  is when they pin the women against each other.
• 28:00
  You. Just have to.
• 28:01
  I get Sophie, be a little jealous.
• 28:04
  You were dating him for a while. You don't need to be like
• 28:07
  misogynistic about it. And you can be like, hey, she's
• 28:10
  fucking rank. She's in my space, she's in
• 28:13
  Ethan space. Like be mad at her for actual
• 28:16
  things. But this was before this is
• 28:18
  first impression. Yeah, so.
• 28:20
  So if you didn't even have a chance to be a complete bitch
• 28:22
  yet. No.
• 28:24
  And she wasn't even a complete bitch.
• 28:26
  I don't. Think she was ever really a
• 28:28
  complete bitch because the next day when they went on their like
• 28:32
  the snorkelling thing she was like hey do you want to hang out
• 28:36
  bit catty not the end. Also, they're both stuck in the
• 28:39
  back row, So what else are you supposed?
• 28:40
  To do yeah, I'm like Sophie's making out with her man's anyway
• 28:44
  she. Doesn't give a look.
• 28:45
  No. And also Ethan wasn't straight
• 28:48
  up and told her straight away the back story.
• 28:50
  No. So how are you supposed to know
• 28:51
  anything and why do you care so much?
• 28:53
  Exactly. Fake marriage in the 1st place.
• 28:56
  And she was like dangling the ring and being like, oh, we're
• 28:59
  here on the honeymoon. It's like OK, OK, you look just
• 29:02
  as crazy then. But Daddy.
• 29:03
  No the crazier part is they only broke up like 6 months before.
• 29:09
  Exactly. So I feel like even Billy.
• 29:12
  Is it Billy, Sophie's partner? I don't think they're engaged
• 29:16
  either, Billy. Bob, I think they're serious and
• 29:20
  potentially I think they're engaged.
• 29:21
  She said engaged, but they'd only been dating for six months.
• 29:24
  Yeah, but then don't Ethan and Olive look crazier though,
• 29:29
  because they're all the way married?
• 29:30
  All the way married you're. Looking as crazy as her.
• 29:33
  What the fuck is snooping? It's when you haven't got a full
• 29:37
  scuba. Oh, OK, But you can go down a
• 29:40
  bit deeper than just snorkel, because snorkel's just the air
• 29:42
  tube. Yeah.
• 29:43
  Snoobering must be a little tank.
• 29:46
  Oh, OK. Or a little air tank on its own
• 29:48
  maybe? Why did we get so many pages of
• 29:52
  them holding hands under the water and pointing out there but
• 29:56
  they were doing? It For Sophie, it's even
• 29:59
  weirder. She's like, look, it's Ariel in
• 30:01
  the corner and he's like, wow, it's a mermaid.
• 30:03
  That's how this was played out, honestly.
• 30:05
  It's giving when you're 5 years old and playing mermaids in the
• 30:08
  pool. Honestly.
• 30:10
  And why was there so many references to her tits?
• 30:13
  Because you know how she was wearing togs And she goes, I'm
• 30:16
  going to thrust my tits right in Sophie's face.
• 30:19
  And she was diabolical because she learned that Sophie way back
• 30:23
  when was considering getting a boob job.
• 30:26
  And she just like took that and ran with it and.
• 30:29
  But Ethan was just as bad. He's like, probably a good thing
• 30:32
  you're in this itty bitty bikini because Sophie's dream was big
• 30:35
  old titties and here I am with big old titties.
• 30:39
  Yup, it's like wow we love making a girl and secure.
• 30:42
  The way Ethan was like, you know what, she is going to be jealous
• 30:45
  because you've, you've got the body.
• 30:47
  She wished she had you. Someone said that to me.
• 30:51
  I'd be like. I'd push him off the fucking
• 30:53
  boat. Yeah, honestly, what?
• 30:57
  Are you? Kidding and The thing is he
• 31:00
  hasn't even admitted he likes her or wants to fuck her so I'd
• 31:03
  be like do you want to be me to make her jealous at this point.
• 31:07
  I think he kind of like but he's like nose to tit almost the
• 31:11
  entire book. He's motorboating her cleavage
• 31:15
  at all times. All.
• 31:16
  Times The funny thing is, is she always goes on about she's
• 31:19
  uncomfortable with her curves and she makes excuses and oh,
• 31:22
  I've been doing some baking because I'm jobless and blah.
• 31:25
  Like making excuses and it's like, yeah, but you're going to
• 31:28
  complement your huge boobs but then be worried about your
• 31:33
  thighs all the time. It's like, well, what?
• 31:36
  You can't have them both you. Can't like, not always.
• 31:40
  It's weird to complement one part that is from the weight
• 31:42
  game. She's just.
• 31:43
  Really annoying in a way that herself esteem is so annoying
• 31:49
  like it's like when you no. Because could you?
• 31:51
  Imagine like you're on this cute little holiday.
• 31:53
  She's looking good in a bikini. You know she's looking good.
• 31:56
  You're this man, right? And she's just like just so
• 31:59
  fucking fat all the time. That's I know that's such a butt
• 32:02
  chill. That's her attitude.
• 32:04
  She's like on this boat off. I can't snorkel because I'm too
• 32:07
  heavy. Sophie and her fake tan.
• 32:09
  Well, babe, if you picked up a can of Bondi Sands, you'd
• 32:12
  probably feel better about your fat cheese off anyway, do you?
• 32:17
  Know what I mean? I'm pretty.
• 32:19
  Sure, she's like. Tan.
• 32:20
  It, babe. Isn't she like?
• 32:22
  Latina though, yeah, but she. Can tan yeah like you know how
• 32:25
  not everywhere gets sun yeah so if you've got bits that don't
• 32:29
  get the like giving it out we. Get it girl.
• 32:33
  Yikes. She's I just can't.
• 32:35
  Every 5 minutes she's like Oh my ass.
• 32:39
  I just can't. Wear a bikini Something too fat
• 32:42
  in. Hawaii then, babe.
• 32:44
  My. Titties are so perfect.
• 32:47
  That's why I thought it was so funny.
• 32:49
  I'm like, whoa, she's literally. Like pick a lane I.
• 32:53
  Know she's. Really.
• 32:55
  She's like, I'm so. Fucking.
• 32:57
  Ugly about my tits. But don't you feel that Sophie's
• 33:00
  so unbothered she's obsessed with Billy, the grocery store
• 33:03
  manager from wherever the. Fuck.
• 33:06
  But in saying that, every now and then she's like, yet rubbing
• 33:08
  up on Ethan. Yeah, to be fair, Sophie is
• 33:11
  Sophie is Loki, humping Ethan's arm every chance she can get.
• 33:14
  But he doesn't really notice. It but they've never described
• 33:18
  Ethan. So what does this man look?
• 33:20
  Like no idea. 6/4 What does What does olive even look like?
• 33:25
  Curvy with huge knockers. Oh.
• 33:28
  My. God honestly though, that's all
• 33:30
  I heard about. Are we snooping or are we
• 33:33
  motorboating? Like what is is this the sex
• 33:36
  scene That we were wrong? She's she's being propelled
• 33:39
  through the water by them bad boys.
• 33:42
  And then wasn't it kind of after this day that they actually
• 33:45
  hooked up? Well.
• 33:46
  There was a night where they went out drinking.
• 33:47
  They decided to get. Drunk, so she First off, they
• 33:50
  get naked in the small. Cubicle was horrible.
• 33:53
  They fall on each other and he's horrified.
• 33:56
  She's horrified. You know when after you've been
• 33:59
  doing a lot of swimming. Or prony as fuck.
• 34:01
  But not only that, you're stinky because the perspiration like.
• 34:04
  Also, his testes are probably on the inside at this point.
• 34:07
  And you're like, you've been out in the hot sun all day.
• 34:10
  Smelly. You're stinky.
• 34:11
  You haven't had a chance to have a proper shower and then you're
• 34:14
  like butt to butt in this changing room and then they're
• 34:16
  falling over each other and then he gets a high 5 from a random
• 34:19
  dude thinking that they fucked. How quick do you think that they
• 34:21
  could screw in there? He's screwing titties.
• 34:24
  Like what? No, no.
• 34:26
  How come he gets the? Credits in there for like half
• 34:30
  an hour. And they were not.
• 34:32
  They were trying to get out of there my.
• 34:33
  Logic would be one get dressed at a time.
• 34:36
  I think because other people were around waiting for the.
• 34:38
  Cubicles. No, but like just face the ball.
• 34:42
  I think that's what they tried. Do you mean 1 lays flat against
• 34:45
  the wall and the other one gives them the room?
• 34:48
  Yeah, that's smart boat. That's what we would do if we
• 34:51
  were forced in that situation. I'd.
• 34:55
  Be holding a towel. Up like don't what?
• 34:58
  Yeah. Do you reckon they had tails?
• 34:59
  I know they acted like they didn't because they could have
• 35:01
  just done that and taking turns could have been like that and
• 35:04
  then just switch. Like fucking.
• 35:05
  It's not rocket science, it's ridiculous.
• 35:10
  Like, why do they make things so much worse?
• 35:13
  But they have to. You're adults, you've seen naked
• 35:16
  bodies. Just what is all the fuss?
• 35:19
  About but like it just right, right.
• 35:27
  So not long after that they do like a couple's massage.
• 35:30
  Oh. My God.
• 35:31
  And this is where they soak in the pool alone and they're like
• 35:34
  horrified that their bodies are terrified in a soak pool
• 35:38
  together and then they go into like pre.
• 35:41
  Softened. They're pre for.
• 35:43
  The massage. They go into the massage and
• 35:46
  she's like, you're actually, she's like, you're actually
• 35:49
  massaging each other. Yeah, it's a class.
• 35:51
  They're teaching them how to. He was desperate to go first
• 35:54
  because he was worried about getting a boner.
• 35:56
  You're gonna get it anyway. He If you go first or second.
• 35:59
  I don't get it. He.
• 36:01
  Wanted to go second so he didn't get the boner, but I'm like, my
• 36:03
  guy, you're probably gonna get the boner rubbing on her body.
• 36:07
  That's what I mean. So you're going to be.
• 36:08
  In her asshole and not get a bone.
• 36:11
  But I'm kind of like, at what point do you not get the bone?
• 36:14
  Like what does the order have? To do with it.
• 36:17
  And also, does she not have the ability to chill because she was
• 36:20
  practically humping the massage bed?
• 36:23
  The lady. Would have had to excuse
• 36:24
  herself. If that was me, I'd be like, oh,
• 36:26
  here we go again. Here we go.
• 36:27
  They're fucking. She's like, I'm just, you teach
• 36:31
  her. I'm going out.
• 36:32
  They're fucking in there at that point.
• 36:34
  Yeah, she's like, don't spread apart the cheeks.
• 36:37
  Oh my God. Push them together, don't spread
• 36:41
  them. He's just like bacon cakes.
• 36:44
  The bacon biscuit. Oh shit, I feel like this man,
• 36:50
  says a wooger in his head. Like 500 times a day, he says.
• 36:53
  What? A wooger.
• 36:54
  A wooger. Every time they did a task I was
• 36:59
  like here we go. Again, terrible.
• 37:02
  It's. Terrifying.
• 37:03
  Like his eyes bog out like a cartoon.
• 37:06
  But like the lady, the poor lady, she's fighting on the bed,
• 37:10
  I don't involuntary moan in a massage.
• 37:12
  It's because you have self-control, Emily.
• 37:16
  It's. Because.
• 37:17
  This chick finally let go of her body and security for five
• 37:20
  seconds of her life. OK, let her moan.
• 37:23
  OK, it's a honeymoon massage. The lady thinks this is, like,
• 37:26
  in context. Yeah.
• 37:27
  Do you know what I mean? Yeah.
• 37:29
  And then they, I don't know, they decide to go out drinking
• 37:31
  one night, I think. And isn't that when she starts
• 37:34
  probing him questions about Sophie because of her weird
• 37:36
  jealousy? Yes, it's, they do like a drive
• 37:39
  along the coast. And then he's like, you know
• 37:41
  what, I want to get drunk. But she's not getting drunk.
• 37:44
  Mind you, this man's getting drunk, right?
• 37:46
  And she's like, it took us 45 minutes to get him out of the
• 37:49
  bar because he waved to this guy and he was chatting up this girl
• 37:53
  and getting her number. And then you're going to go home
• 37:55
  and kiss. Oh.
• 37:56
  Obviously because he's in demand.
• 37:58
  He's in demand. He's got things for Yeah, he's
• 38:03
  getting laid on this honeymoon no matter what.
• 38:05
  Okay. He praying condoms.
• 38:08
  Yep, they weren't for Olive. Oh no.
• 38:11
  They were for his Dick. I think that's.
• 38:14
  How I would think about. It if I was a guy as well.
• 38:17
  But we got that female brain where they're like, who the?
• 38:19
  Fuck. Were you playing?
• 38:20
  And he used these on and he's just like literally you, which
• 38:24
  is always the correct answer, yes.
• 38:26
  So for the like 1% of but when? Does he think male is fucking?
• 38:29
  We have. If he's not fucking Olive, where
• 38:31
  was he? But he could have had them just
• 38:33
  on him forever. Like he's a man in the man.
• 38:36
  He's great. He's a man in the streets.
• 38:38
  Yeah, he's. Got to be prepared.
• 38:40
  I don't wanna know why we got a full description about the
• 38:42
  condom situation but we didn't even get a sex scene.
• 38:45
  The. Fuck.
• 38:46
  Even the kiss. The kiss is that about the kiss
• 38:49
  while he was drunk and they had all these type of feelings.
• 38:52
  And. Then he didn't know about it the
• 38:54
  next day. Let's be real.
• 38:55
  But then he was like it was a kiss.
• 38:57
  Where? No, it wasn't.
• 38:58
  He forgot about it. No, he lied.
• 39:01
  He was like, it's the type of yeah, the man was scrambling.
• 39:03
  He's like fuck we. Kissed exactly you.
• 39:06
  Didn't know. Pass out on the couch honestly
• 39:09
  seconds after they did it. Sloppy jalopy drunk.
• 39:13
  Pash, this is assault, my girl. And then when she was sinking
• 39:19
  when he said that CUDA out of control.
• 39:22
  Oh my God. CUDA ripped.
• 39:23
  Your scale just broke. But like, how are you going?
• 39:26
  To be like. That poor man.
• 39:28
  And he was like, fuck it in his head.
• 39:29
  You could tell he was sparring and he was like, holy shit, this
• 39:33
  is my dream come true and I fucking forgot about it.
• 39:36
  Anyway, what he said was the type of kiss where you want to
• 39:40
  fuck. Yeah.
• 39:41
  Because you want. Shakespeare.
• 39:43
  Did you want to fuck or did you want to sleep?
• 39:45
  Because. I.
• 39:46
  Know and then she's like, oh, correct answer.
• 39:49
  Also if I OK if I kiss someone who was like fucking 400 Mai
• 39:55
  tais deep deep I would not feel good about it the next day.
• 40:00
  And she was so excited to bring it up to him.
• 40:03
  She's like, did you have any thoughts about it?
• 40:05
  First of all, the man didn't even know the.
• 40:07
  Man didn't even know where his fucking feet were.
• 40:11
  Exactly. He's a long boy, he.
• 40:12
  Thought you were the redhead in the bar.
• 40:17
  Yes, he. Thought you were.
• 40:19
  Dave in the reception, no. He.
• 40:23
  Thought you were the flight attendant?
• 40:24
  Oh my God, he thought you were the boss's wife.
• 40:28
  He was like, oh, Molly, he actually thought you were
• 40:33
  Sophie. Fuck that would be the best
• 40:36
  twist. Oh my God, my God.
• 40:40
  Kudos to him for rolling hooks so far.
• 40:42
  So he was like, how? Did she even miss that one?
• 40:45
  Adam? The Kuda Richter scale is what
• 40:47
  confused her. I mean, the man is clever, he
• 40:50
  works fast. He's a numbers.
• 40:52
  Man did they fuck immediately after that.
• 40:55
  I feel like yes, yes, but also it was after she found about how
• 40:59
  he was kind of abandoned by Sophie.
• 41:01
  Yeah. Because once she got the
• 41:02
  confirmation that Sophie's that bitch, she was like, I'm a jump
• 41:05
  all over this man. And it's like, OK, Sophie does
• 41:08
  not think about you, babe. But he was also was like low key
• 41:11
  county about it too because there's a point where he was
• 41:13
  like she should go to her implants when I was paying for
• 41:17
  alarm. I know.
• 41:18
  And I was like, I can't insult. OK, how much do you earn
• 41:20
  actually? When is this Baxter of her being
• 41:23
  a gold digger ever come into it? Sophie's like, you know.
• 41:27
  What I mean I don't understand his wealth because how you're
• 41:31
  going to make the broker speech you hate pay for your plane
• 41:34
  tickets? That's how he stays wealthy.
• 41:37
  He's probably got, he's like a that Tinder Swindler.
• 41:41
  He's got like 800 girls on the go.
• 41:42
  That's why he's popping out business cards everywhere.
• 41:45
  Yeah, true. Honestly, he's catfishing by
• 41:47
  night. I don't even know what he does.
• 41:50
  Doesn't he do marketing or something?
• 41:52
  He's into math. He's literally does marketing
• 41:55
  for businesses. I'll.
• 41:57
  I know. Gross.
• 41:58
  Gross. So you know he's wearing the
• 41:59
  light blue shirt and tan khaki pants with the.
• 42:03
  Brown shoes. Not against the black ones he's
• 42:06
  probably got. Crypto.
• 42:08
  No, I know. Bitcoin.
• 42:10
  Oh, so bad. Do you reckon he's wearing like
• 42:13
  little suede shoes to wear? Little little, little little kid
• 42:19
  heel. Yeah, the kitten heels with the
• 42:22
  frilly socks. The little. 5 inch kitten heels.
• 42:24
  Yeah. Obviously The funny thing is
• 42:27
  Olive learns, you know, they revisit the whole their entire
• 42:30
  timeline and then she learns that Ethan liked her at the
• 42:33
  beginning, but Dane is the one who sort of was like, Nah, don't
• 42:37
  go. For that one, she's actually a
• 42:38
  crazy bitch. She's always cranky, blah blah.
• 42:42
  And listen to your younger brother.
• 42:44
  I'm like, you liked her? Yep.
• 42:47
  Also how I still don't understand their first meeting.
• 42:51
  So he dissed, she disappears for two seconds, comes back with
• 42:54
  cheese curds and he's horrified trying not to flirt with her.
• 42:57
  Just flirt with her. Exactly.
• 43:00
  You're 30 years old. But when he was retelling the
• 43:03
  story, he doesn't even remember the cheese curds, she just
• 43:07
  remembers the part that she decided he is an asshole.
• 43:10
  Yeah, it's true. And just ran with it and he's
• 43:13
  always having to defend himself and apologize to her.
• 43:16
  No. It's annoying, piss me off.
• 43:19
  She is kind of annoying. And also she brings up every
• 43:24
  little tiny negative thought she has and acts like he has to deal
• 43:27
  with it immediately in the moment.
• 43:28
  And he does pretty well considering.
• 43:30
  That's why I was like, he's unreliable.
• 43:32
  He's unbelievable as a male because any male in real life
• 43:36
  would be super defensive. But he just took on everything
• 43:38
  and was like, oh, OK. My mom is not super defensive.
• 43:41
  But I feel like as they are right now, yeah.
• 43:44
  Because. You know, the things that she
• 43:46
  was bringing up. Yeah, she's like, you were
• 43:48
  pretty much calling me obese when?
• 43:50
  I was getting actually. Valid.
• 43:51
  And then wouldn't a man just be like?
• 43:53
  Excuse me, what the fuck? Yeah, True, true, true.
• 43:55
  And he, like, just absorbed it and was like, oh.
• 43:59
  So when I'm gonna go fuck again? Yeah, it's like, oh, and then
• 44:02
  when she pretty much accused him of wanting to meet up with
• 44:05
  Sophie and he didn't even he's like, huh.
• 44:09
  This man's Loki. So stupid because he's so
• 44:12
  oblivious. They've been fucking all night.
• 44:14
  They go to breakfast. He's already distant, he's
• 44:16
  depleted. He's depleted, he's distant.
• 44:19
  But then Sophie comes up and he's literally giving her puppy
• 44:22
  eyes. Yeah, I'd be pissed too.
• 44:24
  Fuck that bitch. But I thought he was kind of
• 44:26
  dismissed, like he missed the point when she was inviting him
• 44:29
  to meet up. Yeah.
• 44:30
  He thought she meant all four of them.
• 44:32
  Yeah, so that's why he was a bit like derp.
• 44:35
  And then later she was like, you obviously are going to make
• 44:38
  plans with her and prioritize her.
• 44:40
  And then he was just like, what? Yeah, I had already texted her.
• 44:42
  No. And he's like, look at the time
• 44:44
  stamp, babe. Yeah.
• 44:46
  That's a bit awkward. I was like.
• 44:47
  But like in saying that he could just be outright and be like hey
• 44:52
  no this is our honeymoon, fuck off.
• 44:55
  True, and shouldn't he be a little bit bitter because Sophie
• 44:59
  ghosted him and I don't? Know why he I don't know why
• 45:02
  he's not more bitter? Why does he want to be up in
• 45:05
  each other's grill so bad? I wouldn't even acknowledge her
• 45:07
  in real life. If someone fucking ghosted me to
• 45:09
  that level, they're dead to me. I'm like he puppy eyes her every
• 45:12
  chance he gets too. He's like, so he must still be
• 45:14
  attracted. When they were in the van and
• 45:16
  they were like making out in front of him, he was like, Oh
• 45:19
  no, no kissing. Billy Old Mates works in a
• 45:23
  grocery store. Like there's nothing to be
• 45:24
  jealous of. He's living a dream.
• 45:27
  Maybe Sophie just doesn't want to be married or settled down
• 45:30
  right now and maybe this is like her 5th bloke.
• 45:31
  Like who cares? Yeah.
• 45:33
  So as they're having more and more conversations, Ethan drops
• 45:37
  this random law that Dane just casually hooks up with girls.
• 45:43
  Yeah. And he's like, yeah.
• 45:44
  So I just assume that Amy's cool with it.
• 45:47
  And they've had an open relationship right up until they
• 45:50
  got. Engaged.
• 45:50
  And it's so. Stupid.
• 45:53
  No, he's. So stupid.
• 45:54
  There's no way because you would know what type of girl Amy is
• 45:58
  being Ethan like. That's you're talking.
• 46:00
  You're talking to her sister where her sister is dead ass.
• 46:03
  Like, no, Amy's not that type of person and you're still fucking
• 46:06
  convinced. And they're twins.
• 46:09
  She knows what Amy's like and he goes.
• 46:11
  Maybe she just didn't tell you because she didn't want to be
• 46:13
  judged. Pretty sure it would have come
• 46:14
  out just naturally. Also, I feel like he's not
• 46:18
  listening to anyone because even she's like, look, Amy is upset
• 46:23
  because you always go away on holiday and he says you're
• 46:26
  planning and he's like no, he puts up.
• 46:28
  That man is dumb. He's not adding up anything.
• 46:31
  No, he's not putting any thoughts into it.
• 46:33
  And he doesn't care. Like he just doesn't.
• 46:36
  His brother gets away with everything.
• 46:38
  Dane, in his mind, is just this perfect younger brother for
• 46:41
  whatever reason. Like he's an.
• 46:42
  Asshole, He is an asshole, but also you've got all these random
• 46:45
  facts. You're like, oh, they just got
• 46:49
  engaged, but he was sleeping with people and then he just
• 46:52
  doesn't put it together. And even when they meet up, like
• 46:55
  they finally fly home from the honeymoon and they meet up with
• 46:58
  them, he's still like, Nah, my brother wouldn't do that.
• 47:01
  You've had you had all the facts yourself.
• 47:03
  It's not like she put all these random things in front of you.
• 47:06
  You're the one that told her. And if you were on these trips
• 47:10
  with your brother, wouldn't you know that he's sneaking off to
• 47:13
  hook up with people or see his? You'd see a notification pop up
• 47:16
  while you're next to him and be like who the fuck is that like?
• 47:18
  Well I'm pretty sure they kind of implied it earlier in the
• 47:20
  book because when she was sick or something she's like, oh,
• 47:23
  Dane's gone out. So was he fucking someone while
• 47:26
  shitting himself? Probably.
• 47:27
  And he knew about particular people like Trinity with the
• 47:30
  mango ass tattoo. Yes, Know that much information
• 47:33
  about all the girls he's still banging?
• 47:35
  And wouldn't that make you go like, huh?
• 47:38
  And why wouldn't you ask your brother?
• 47:39
  Why wouldn't you straight up say to your brother, oh, so are you
• 47:42
  and Amy in like an open relationship then?
• 47:44
  It's like. He doesn't even fucking care
• 47:46
  about how other people might be feeling.
• 47:48
  No. Hey, Patty does not want just
• 47:52
  the tea because honestly, men do that.
• 47:55
  They do not get the tea. I'm like bitch.
• 47:58
  Tell me the tea. The bit that pisses me off is
• 48:01
  that they had this sort of stand off about the open relationship
• 48:05
  or not. Yeah, they're kind of agreeing
• 48:07
  to disagree, but not only do they agree to disagree, they
• 48:10
  both agreed to just never address it ever again.
• 48:13
  Like take it to the grave and like.
• 48:15
  I would never. Take that to the grave.
• 48:16
  That's my fucking sister. Also, it's your twin.
• 48:19
  Yes and then normally that when they fly back in town and they
• 48:23
  catch them kissing at the airport, she gives Dane the
• 48:27
  thumbs up and then she's like fuck it just makes me feel like
• 48:29
  I'm agreeing with his bad behaviour.
• 48:31
  You know it's bad, say something, pull your sister
• 48:36
  aside. Disaster.
• 48:38
  I feel like their reactions to Dane hitting on Olive were by
• 48:43
  far. Like I would cut them off
• 48:45
  forever for that. Oh.
• 48:46
  Yeah, it's pretty unforgivable. Isn't it?
• 48:48
  You have all the facts. You know he's been sleeping
• 48:52
  around with other people. You know she's not bitter.
• 48:55
  You've been spending like 2 weeks with her where she's not
• 48:57
  really that bitter. And then the first thing you're
• 48:59
  gonna be like, oh, you're just bitter and angry.
• 49:02
  And why would you complain about something like that if it's that
• 49:05
  bad? What she's accusing Dane of?
• 49:07
  Which is what he did, Yeah. Which was implied that if they
• 49:11
  get bored sometimes they should literally swing with each other.
• 49:14
  And it wasn't he even like implied, he straight up said.
• 49:17
  Propositioned. He propositioned, Yeah.
• 49:19
  Everyone's like, oh, he's just implying that we all hang out
• 49:23
  together. No, he dead Are said hey come
• 49:26
  over tomorrow night to fuck. And there was another joke like
• 49:28
  that beforehand, yes, ages before.
• 49:32
  So there was like foreshadowing that he wants this to happen.
• 49:35
  I don't know what they're fucking hearing in their mind
• 49:38
  because literally she's like he walked up to me and said hey
• 49:43
  come over so we can swap partners of fuck.
• 49:45
  And they were like, no, no, he's just saying we all come over for
• 49:48
  dinner and. Then also they were like oh he's
• 49:50
  got a funny sense of humour. This is how people like that get
• 49:53
  away with this shit because they just victim blame because they.
• 49:56
  Don't want to deal with the reality.
• 49:57
  Call people out for boundaries you have.
• 49:59
  If my partner said rancid shit like that and everyone was like
• 50:03
  she's funny, I'd be like, know your audience.
• 50:05
  Yeah. And you would know the tone,
• 50:07
  yes. Like if your partner said that
• 50:09
  and then the people that you're with, you would know that if
• 50:13
  someone was upset, you'd fucking rip into him, you know what I
• 50:15
  mean? Like you gotta.
• 50:16
  Know your. Audience.
• 50:17
  There's no way. And the fact that Amy just
• 50:19
  doesn't wanna pull him up because she doesn't wanna really
• 50:21
  know what's going on with Dane. For whatever reason, she's got
• 50:23
  her head in the sand. Ethan immediately regrets it,
• 50:26
  tries to open her car door and get her to stop and he's like I
• 50:29
  don't understand why she don't agree up me.
• 50:32
  She then tells Amy right before Amy goes to work and that Amy
• 50:36
  does the same thing. She's like, you're just bitter
• 50:38
  and angry all the time. And she waited to have that
• 50:40
  conversation in person so that she could do it properly and she
• 50:43
  agonised over it. And not only that, because when
• 50:46
  she got home she was supposed to do her first day of at her new
• 50:49
  job, only to be called into the office with the boss.
• 50:52
  And then he fires her when she explained perfectly what the
• 50:56
  situation was. And it's like, well fuck me.
• 50:59
  Then I was like. OK, peace.
• 51:01
  I'm unlucky. But also it was getting TMI.
• 51:04
  Yeah, she. Was like, oh, and then, now,
• 51:06
  then we fell in love. So now it's real.
• 51:08
  So now it's OK that I lied to you.
• 51:10
  New boss man, I'd be like. Get the fuck out of here.
• 51:12
  But then at this point you don't know if she's going to lie about
• 51:15
  having cancer tend out. Exactly how the boss.
• 51:18
  Props to you babe. You did the right thing.
• 51:20
  Yeah, yeah. I was like.
• 51:22
  I'm not even mad, I'd be like. This girl's personal life is
• 51:25
  hella messy if you can't even come to the first.
• 51:28
  Like the interview process and the 1st say without coming
• 51:31
  correct. Like what are you doing?
• 51:32
  Like, yeah. What the fuck?
• 51:35
  So anyway me? She's got this huge family
• 51:38
  anyway, so she gets a job as a server at a restaurant, one of
• 51:41
  the nice ones that a relative has.
• 51:43
  So again, her life is actually fine, but she has to deal with
• 51:46
  this situation with Amy, and Amy just stops talking to her
• 51:49
  because that's going to solve everything.
• 51:52
  Oliver is now working at this restaurant.
• 51:53
  Whatever. Yeah.
• 51:54
  She's like, it is what it is. I'm paying my rent and they're
• 51:56
  in this weird awkward phase where they're not talking
• 51:59
  properly. Amy finally went through his
• 52:01
  phone and messaged all the girlfriends to come over and.
• 52:05
  Oliver is just there. She invited Olive over and all
• 52:07
  of us in the house. Okay, when I was reading this
• 52:10
  bit, if that was me, I'd be shitting myself.
• 52:13
  How are you gonna invite me over to your house after all this
• 52:17
  shit that's going on? You told me you were going to
• 52:19
  text him, but you will not tell me what's happening.
• 52:22
  And then you're like, Dan's just going to be home at 7.
• 52:24
  I don't think you're ambushing me to like, to argue, to argue
• 52:28
  with both of them. Yes, I've.
• 52:31
  That's what I was thinking. I was like, I would have left.
• 52:33
  Like, there's not, I know you, they're twins, but there's only
• 52:36
  so much trust you could have. And she was just like, oh, we'll
• 52:39
  talk about it later. You're just.
• 52:41
  Fucking weird. Yeah, I thought she was going to
• 52:43
  kill her. If you want someone there for
• 52:45
  your insecurity, if you're Amy because you've got these girls
• 52:48
  rocking up, and then Dane could go off and start, like,
• 52:50
  strangling you or something. Yeah, you've got a big family.
• 52:53
  Get some of your male cousins to come over.
• 52:54
  Exactly what are you doing? Like why are you inviting Olive
• 52:57
  over when you haven't apologized to each other yet?
• 53:00
  I'm wondering if she didn't tell her because she invited Ethan
• 53:03
  and was like also bombarded that's even.
• 53:05
  Dumber. Like, why are you bringing
• 53:06
  everyone into it? Like, I know she wanted Ethan to
• 53:09
  see the chicks so that he could be slapped in the face with it.
• 53:12
  But if both Amy and Olive said it, Ethan would believe it but
• 53:15
  doesn't have to roll up. Yeah, Ethan saw all of it from
• 53:19
  the beginning, and he chooses. I thought maybe he.
• 53:21
  Did need to see it in person because he was ignoring it all.
• 53:24
  So delulu he is delulu. But then in saying that, they do
• 53:29
  ring her entire family to come up pack up his entire.
• 53:32
  House that's like after the fact as well though yeah and I'm like
• 53:35
  bro I would have got some male cousins with start like if that.
• 53:38
  No, they did again. Like, at the time of Because
• 53:40
  what if he went off and stabbed you?
• 53:42
  Yeah, just say Olive's not there.
• 53:43
  But it was so funny. So these girls start rolling up.
• 53:46
  One girl is like in sweats or something, like just casual.
• 53:50
  All these girls are still wanting to hook up with Dane.
• 53:52
  So he's got that Schmidt. Yeah.
• 53:54
  Honestly, he'd be putting it down.
• 53:56
  Well, one was an actual girlfriend.
• 54:00
  Why the first one that rolled up?
• 54:01
  They thought they were dating. He's like, that's my girlfriend.
• 54:05
  The second one that rolled up, she came from like her nursing
• 54:08
  job. And they hadn't talked in
• 54:10
  months, though. Yeah.
• 54:11
  And she was like, and then. But she got the room quickly,
• 54:14
  Yeah. At that point, go get tested.
• 54:17
  At that point, go. 100% divorce. But also, why are we forcing
• 54:22
  Olive to talk to Ethan? And why now?
• 54:25
  Why now this is? Already stressful enough like.
• 54:28
  She's ignoring him. Let her ignore him.
• 54:31
  Exactly let her process. It herself I'm like she not only
• 54:36
  was belittled by both of you for not believing her she was right
• 54:40
  yeah, she. Was right.
• 54:41
  She was right. She also had to help you pack
• 54:43
  up. Your fucking fucked up.
• 54:45
  Fuck off. Yeah.
• 54:47
  Honestly, they give her no credit and then they want to
• 54:50
  force her because they keep saying you're the angry one,
• 54:53
  you're the pessimistic one, but they're not letting her process
• 54:55
  it in her own time. They're like, just be happy
• 54:57
  about it now. And also I hated the redemption
• 54:59
  at the end where they're like, see, now you get the good
• 55:01
  brother, so you get the good one after all that.
• 55:05
  And it's like, well, that's not what it's about.
• 55:07
  It wasn't like, you get the good and I get the bad.
• 55:10
  No, it wasn't even supposed to be like that.
• 55:12
  But also when they all roll up in the restaurant if a man
• 55:16
  rolled up in a fucking cut up tank top of the weird green
• 55:20
  satin dress. Yeah, ick.
• 55:23
  And also. Not only that.
• 55:24
  The poor fucking boss was invited.
• 55:27
  It's like I'm just trying to get away from this stalker bitch.
• 55:31
  Like why am I here and why he was pissy?
• 55:34
  Molly was pissy at it. She's like, how dare.
• 55:36
  You and the. I'm.
• 55:38
  Sorry like. What he?
• 55:41
  Doesn't. Want Gary?
• 55:43
  Gary. Gary before everything fell
• 55:45
  apart. Exactly.
• 55:46
  Honestly, Gary. Gary, it's for Gary because
• 55:49
  honestly. He made the.
• 55:51
  Right. Corporate decisions don't.
• 55:53
  Your Molly. Wants to swing, I would like
• 55:56
  just let Molly swim and wants. To swing with.
• 55:59
  This 34 year old man while she's just 55.
• 56:02
  Sexy age Honestly send Molly on a cruise trip around the world,
• 56:06
  OK. That's your second problems.
• 56:08
  You've done the right thing. You've not hired this Olivia
• 56:11
  chick, Which good. Olivia call and fucking benefits
• 56:15
  in 10 months time because she's in hospital, some fake cancer.
• 56:20
  Well her dog is dead. It just well her cat's also got
• 56:25
  diabetes. It's a whole thing.
• 56:27
  Her grandparents are gonna die 800 times.
• 56:29
  Mm. Hmm.
• 56:30
  It's just a fact. So honestly, Gary, props to you,
• 56:33
  Gary. Good for you.
• 56:35
  Let's see loyalty and. Trust.
• 56:36
  Imagine. Being at this dinner and getting
• 56:38
  ambushed by this hoe and you're just like, great, she's a
• 56:40
  waitress. And then the wife is trying to
• 56:42
  make them feel bad about it. Yeah, we haven't been able to
• 56:44
  fill that position and now look at her.
• 56:46
  But all serving us. Also also keep in mind they had
• 56:52
  planned the entire restaurant was planned all of her family,
• 56:57
  right? Full of her family and they're
• 56:59
  gonna. Move.
• 57:01
  Molly and Gary whose names on Gary into.
• 57:04
  Her space and then. Hope to God that she feels
• 57:10
  uncomfortable to move them to another place setting.
• 57:14
  You're telling me the workers didn't know what was happening?
• 57:16
  I know her daddy's in the back with a fucking weave on.
• 57:19
  You know what? I wouldn't be surprised 'cause
• 57:21
  I'll be watching a lot of Kitchen Nightmares lately.
• 57:23
  I don't know. What the fucks going on and.
• 57:27
  And then they're just going to move Ethan to that exact table
• 57:30
  in a fucking tank. Top.
• 57:32
  Tank top Hawaiian shirt, plastic cup in this fancy anti
• 57:37
  restaurant. Honestly.
• 57:39
  Killing me. Killing me softly.
• 57:42
  You're telling me that she's the maitre-d' and she doesn't
• 57:46
  fucking recognise single person in her family?
• 57:49
  Until. They're all seated and until
• 57:51
  fucking tank top man until David.
• 57:53
  'S whipping off his wig. Sorry, my dad's in the pack with
• 58:00
  a wig on us. Why does he need to wear
• 58:02
  wiggies? In the back.
• 58:05
  He just wanted to have his diva moment.
• 58:08
  Honestly, David just wants to do drag.
• 58:13
  That's just. Oh, it's even better because I'm
• 58:17
  imagining it. It's your time.
• 58:24
  Oh, I'm not, sis. I'm not OK.
• 58:28
  That's all I can think about about your dad is I'm not.
• 58:31
  Sis, no one will get that joke. I.
• 58:37
  Said people will whipping off the Wick.
• 58:39
  I'm not sis. I can't.
• 58:44
  This is. He's like, I'm just a man.
• 58:48
  I'm just regularly resigned at both.
• 58:50
  Male babe, that's sis. CIS babe, not SIS.
• 58:59
  He is a CIS. Boomers are something else.
• 59:02
  I tell you. How are?
• 59:04
  You going to be a diva with a wig on it?
• 59:06
  Still obvious. Honestly, we're worried.
• 59:10
  They're worried about the wrong things.
• 59:12
  So anyway, man's in a tank top. Kermit the Frog Satin
• 59:16
  extraordinary Tank Top Brat Charlie XX.
• 59:20
  Green. To the fucking brat he is.
• 59:26
  When I'm up with that somebody's.
• 59:29
  Sitting there, He's sitting there ass out.
• 59:31
  Tell me. That he hasn't.
• 59:32
  Been given a karaoke mic and he's singing brat brat like the
• 59:38
  whole restaurant he's. On his hands and knees.
• 59:42
  Crawling. Screaming.
• 59:47
  What's his? Screaming girl.
• 59:49
  It's just screaming Charlie Coshala.
• 59:52
  She was literally. Crawling.
• 59:53
  Screaming. Nothing.
• 59:55
  No words. Screaming.
• 59:56
  Waking. Addison Rae in the back, he's
• 59:59
  also. Screaming, throwing that back
• 1:00:01
  out. He's throwing it in a circle.
• 1:00:04
  He's throwing his head around whiplash.
• 1:00:09
  He's actually put on David's wig at this point.
• 1:00:14
  I. Cannot deal and I'm not supposed
• 1:00:16
  to make you go. That's my man, this moment if I
• 1:00:21
  had this 6. Four guy, presumably gym guy,
• 1:00:26
  wearing a satin tank. Wife beater.
• 1:00:30
  Where did he get it, by the way? They made it.
• 1:00:32
  They still this is a collapse. He's like, this is a random
• 1:00:36
  name. This is Gigi's dress.
• 1:00:38
  We and we tailored it to me. He's like, your dress is safe at
• 1:00:42
  home. And she's like, actually, I
• 1:00:43
  fucking lit that shit on fire months ago.
• 1:00:46
  Just say that you wanna wear Spanx and do a drag show like we
• 1:00:50
  get linked up with David out the back and then just start your
• 1:00:53
  own fucking this. Is actually.
• 1:00:57
  It's like, you know, Molly with all of it should be like your
• 1:00:59
  first customer on the cruise ship, your first viewer.
• 1:01:02
  I'll. Just and then and then.
• 1:01:05
  Just big Gary, Gary. Is just like a.
• 1:01:09
  Minute. Gary's like Gary.
• 1:01:12
  A. Minute.
• 1:01:14
  I'll just have Mac is on the way whoever.
• 1:01:16
  Book is Gary from. Hooked.
• 1:01:19
  OK. He was the one trying to get.
• 1:01:21
  If you want to know about Gary, you need to listen to it.
• 1:01:23
  Was it hooked? I think it was hooked.
• 1:01:25
  I think it. Which doesn't seem to make
• 1:01:27
  sense. It doesn't.
• 1:01:28
  Feel right. It doesn't feel right.
• 1:01:32
  Anyway. Gary was ordering a coffee.
• 1:01:34
  Just remember because Hook came in and made himself 10 times the
• 1:01:38
  size. Gary.
• 1:01:41
  'S. Gary's just pre working.
• 1:01:43
  He's trying. To use coffee.
• 1:01:45
  Oh shit, I don't even know. Gary.
• 1:01:48
  Listen. Hooked.
• 1:01:49
  You need Garry's back story? Honestly.
• 1:01:51
  You bought the fuck? And then go look up Gary on
• 1:01:53
  TikTok because there's this random man that throws it back.
• 1:01:56
  Is he the one that? Dances in jeans.
• 1:02:01
  I follow him, he's the best. Also TikTok.
• 1:02:03
  Fuck, we haven't posted a TikTok in donkeys yonks.
• 1:02:07
  Yeah bro, we got to get on that promo.
• 1:02:08
  Girl, girl, sis girl. I have time this week if you
• 1:02:12
  need to upload that. We need something on there.
• 1:02:14
  People probably don't even realize we're making, we're
• 1:02:16
  churning this baby out, but we're not really because of my
• 1:02:19
  editing so slow, but we've got them in the pipeline.
• 1:02:22
  OK. They're just not getting out of
• 1:02:24
  the other side of the pipe, kind of like the.
• 1:02:27
  Banks club to spank situation. It's going up instead of out.
• 1:02:32
  Honestly, we aren't the Human Centipedum.
• 1:02:37
  That's just another episode and then nothing's coming out.
• 1:02:39
  Illegal, illegal, illegal. OK, resetting SO.
• 1:02:45
  We've got to get back. It's on his hands and knees
• 1:02:47
  twerking, but he's basically like.
• 1:02:50
  Forgive me, I have sinned. I will bring the anointing oil
• 1:02:56
  and rub your asshole. OK.
• 1:03:02
  You know what? No anal.
• 1:03:05
  No real love then. No, it's fake.
• 1:03:08
  Also no sexing. They're all faked.
• 1:03:10
  Black flop. Flop.
• 1:03:12
  Honestly. Just.
• 1:03:13
  Give me the pawn. Honestly though, because that's
• 1:03:16
  the only thing that can make this worthwhile.
• 1:03:19
  Because. Like why are they?
• 1:03:20
  So stressed. If you're going to tell me the
• 1:03:22
  only thing I need to know about this man is he's 6/4 At least
• 1:03:25
  tell me about his velvet sword. Come on, at least.
• 1:03:28
  Tell us the girth. If you're going to tell us the
• 1:03:30
  hype, give us the girth at. Least give me the You've got it,
• 1:03:33
  baby girl. Exactly.
• 1:03:35
  No nicknames? No, But why?
• 1:03:36
  Did we get all the condom talk? And nothing Playboy gold or just
• 1:03:41
  regular tragic schmegula. Regular Angular.
• 1:03:46
  She never had a nickname. I think this is the first book
• 1:03:49
  I've read but. It was Oscar, remember?
• 1:03:51
  No, he just came up with a random O name every single time.
• 1:03:55
  But yeah, in that way, that was the banter.
• 1:03:57
  Like that was their little inside joke.
• 1:03:59
  Annoying. Ask her the grouch.
• 1:04:01
  That's probably why he thought of it.
• 1:04:05
  It's a little a little dump rubbish.
• 1:04:08
  I love. You, you know, after all this
• 1:04:10
  came out and you were right when you said she was right, after
• 1:04:13
  all this, after all the victim blaming, no one even like fully
• 1:04:16
  acknowledged it either. They were like, you know what?
• 1:04:18
  We've given you a hard time for being really cynical.
• 1:04:20
  But in this time it actually worked out.
• 1:04:23
  And also now forgive everyone for treating you like shit and
• 1:04:27
  you must date this man that also.
• 1:04:28
  Treated you like they acted like this is your consolation prize
• 1:04:32
  for being right is you get to date the good my brother.
• 1:04:35
  It's like what? Why does she have to be with him
• 1:04:38
  when it was kind of flopping? She was in love with him.
• 1:04:42
  When, like when did the love even happen?
• 1:04:45
  Actually that yeah, valid. Honestly.
• 1:04:47
  It happened in the epilogue, yeah.
• 1:04:49
  But that was two years later, so that's dumb.
• 1:04:51
  But it's like, where was the love during that time?
• 1:04:56
  She just. Noticed.
• 1:04:58
  Exactly. But she just realized he wasn't
• 1:05:00
  as bad as she thought he was, and that was enough to be
• 1:05:02
  dateable. Yeah, sorry.
• 1:05:04
  That's ridiculous. And she was like, we're honest
• 1:05:07
  to each other because we're mad at each other all the time.
• 1:05:10
  Are you honest to each other because you used to just talk
• 1:05:12
  and shit about each other? To be fair though, the way that
• 1:05:15
  he handled every argument, I'd probably marry him just to make
• 1:05:19
  my life less friction. If.
• 1:05:21
  I was not used to that. I'd be like.
• 1:05:24
  OK also he loves laying on the couch and just reading a book.
• 1:05:28
  Yeah, I feel like that would be attractive, but I feel like I
• 1:05:31
  would just fuck around a bit and then I'd circle back to him when
• 1:05:33
  I'm like 35. Do you know what I mean?
• 1:05:35
  That's the man I need later. That's not the man I need now.
• 1:05:37
  Because how old were they? He was 34.
• 1:05:40
  I don't know how old she was. OK, she was giving me like I
• 1:05:44
  think she. She, I think she said he's three
• 1:05:47
  years older, so she's 3030. She's too old to be acting how
• 1:05:51
  she has been to. Be honest when you think about
• 1:05:54
  it. Yeah.
• 1:05:55
  Oh, OK. See, it sort of made sense when
• 1:05:57
  she was kind of just like La Vida.
• 1:05:59
  And I'm comparing myself to my sister because she's 26 and
• 1:06:02
  married and I'm not like, that's what I kind of got.
• 1:06:05
  But no, no, no, no. And the insecurities, that was
• 1:06:08
  very 20s. There's no way you can get to
• 1:06:11
  like in your 30s and feel that way.
• 1:06:12
  Yeah. What even happens?
• 1:06:15
  In the epilogue. So obviously Amy dumps Dane,
• 1:06:19
  they get a proper Dane, but it's like the whole family swoops in
• 1:06:22
  and just takes all the credit for sorting that out.
• 1:06:24
  Yeah, when like Olive did. All the she hardly likes.
• 1:06:27
  Fucking fought for her anyway. Then Amy ends up with Lucas,
• 1:06:31
  which is. Ethan's best mate.
• 1:06:34
  He's like a doctor A. Doctor.
• 1:06:35
  Hiding. Where has he been hiding?
• 1:06:37
  A widowed He was widowed with a four year old daughter.
• 1:06:40
  So maybe that's why I'm like times.
• 1:06:42
  I'm like, this is where like the author kind of nailed it.
• 1:06:45
  The reason those two weren't eating at the buffet, they could
• 1:06:48
  go on the holiday and then Lucas wasn't an option because he had
• 1:06:51
  a partner. So I'm like small things like
• 1:06:54
  that. She kind of like nailed in.
• 1:06:56
  Olive ended up getting a different, like sciency job.
• 1:07:00
  Right, yeah, where she can just talk about vaccines and stuff,
• 1:07:04
  educate on vaccine the. Irony of her just having this
• 1:07:07
  huge family support. So I feel like in a book like
• 1:07:10
  this, you have to hit proper rock bottom and she didn't.
• 1:07:13
  Mm hmm. And even if it's a contemporary
• 1:07:15
  romance, like I get it, I don't mind that it was an easy read.
• 1:07:18
  Like it was kind of low stakes. Also the one gay character was
• 1:07:21
  like really sassy and yeah and hypersexual.
• 1:07:25
  Yeah, that was weird and it was just like a non character,
• 1:07:28
  wasn't it? Yeah, he just.
• 1:07:29
  Flowed in and out every time they needed, like a little
• 1:07:31
  buffer for a chapter. And she didn't even trust him,
• 1:07:33
  so why is he a friend? She was acting like he's.
• 1:07:37
  Oh, that's right. But that she was like, he's
• 1:07:38
  gossipy and I can't trust him. It's like, well cool, why is he
• 1:07:41
  being mentioned? But then, yeah, so the end of
• 1:07:44
  the book is them all going to Hawaii again and like a redo, a
• 1:07:48
  redo Hawaii and they actually get engaged.
• 1:07:52
  The way that it played out. I'll.
• 1:07:55
  Gave me such the ick. So they're on the beach.
• 1:07:58
  He's like, this is actually fucking perfect.
• 1:08:00
  They take a picture and he's like, fuck, yeah, we look good
• 1:08:02
  on this picture. And then she's just like, you
• 1:08:05
  should caption it. She said yes.
• 1:08:07
  And then she's like, what a shitty way to get engaged.
• 1:08:11
  She was pretty much like oh everyone in our bum fuck town
• 1:08:14
  would be proposed to on a beach. Basic bitches.
• 1:08:17
  And then he turns around like, oh.
• 1:08:19
  Well, that's what I was going to do.
• 1:08:21
  And then she's like, what were you going to say?
• 1:08:22
  And he's like, don't worry, don't worry about it.
• 1:08:25
  He's just getting up from his knee.
• 1:08:27
  He's. Like I was actually just tying
• 1:08:29
  my shoes coming down. Yikes.
• 1:08:31
  But then she was like, oh, because I was going to propose
• 1:08:35
  to you. She's like, you know?
• 1:08:36
  Reversed him. She's like, I do want to get
• 1:08:38
  married. She was scrambling.
• 1:08:40
  You cannot tell me she was going to propose to that man, No.
• 1:08:43
  Absolutely not. Remember, he pulls the ring out
• 1:08:45
  and he's like, oh, you can propose to me.
• 1:08:46
  Unless you want to propose to someone else and then that was.
• 1:08:49
  That too late. In the game for jokes.
• 1:08:51
  Like that? Yeah, and then he goes.
• 1:08:53
  I don't think it's going to fit my finger.
• 1:08:55
  Men want to be Princess so bad, especially the ones that are 6
• 1:09:00
  flags. They do love a little Princess
• 1:09:04
  Diaries moment babied like they love a baby to taint.
• 1:09:08
  They love flowers. That was so awkward because it
• 1:09:11
  was from his point of view as well.
• 1:09:13
  His point of view wasn't that bad.
• 1:09:15
  Yeah, I don't know. He was just obsessed with that.
• 1:09:18
  Now that they get to live happily ever after because we
• 1:09:20
  fucked off Dane, which he's going to be in your life.
• 1:09:23
  Because he's forever now. Like that's so awkward.
• 1:09:26
  He's sort of low key. I wonder if they just cut him
• 1:09:28
  off from the family. I don't think Ethan would.
• 1:09:31
  Who knows? I feel.
• 1:09:32
  Like he still makes excuses down the track because I think Dane
• 1:09:35
  would just get better at covering things up.
• 1:09:37
  Yeah. So what should we rate this out?
• 1:09:39
  Of Oh my God, titties titties, titties.
• 1:09:45
  Knockers. Knockers.
• 1:09:47
  Sets of titties. Knockers.
• 1:09:49
  How many sets of five knockers out of five?
• 1:09:52
  Yeah. Do you think?
• 1:09:53
  I'm doing it like a two. I wouldn't read it again.
• 1:09:57
  It was very easy to read. Yeah, I think it was really
• 1:10:01
  struggling in the first bit and I was like, oh God.
• 1:10:03
  Like for 30 year old characters they were giving like 15 year
• 1:10:06
  old behaviour. Yeah, like really juvenile.
• 1:10:08
  And I'm like, if I want to read about 30 year olds, I want to
• 1:10:11
  read about 30 year olds. And if I want to read annoying
• 1:10:14
  immature children, then I'll read about teenagers.
• 1:10:18
  Bully Romans. I'll read about random children
• 1:10:21
  mafias. Exactly.
• 1:10:23
  Silver Swan. I'll go back and read Silver
• 1:10:25
  Swan again. Yeah.
• 1:10:27
  What are you rating it I. Gave it a three because it was
• 1:10:30
  just it ended up better because it wasn't as predictable and it
• 1:10:33
  was low stakes. It wasn't like I really needed
• 1:10:36
  to know what happened though. Like I could have stopped it at
• 1:10:38
  any point and never have thought about these characters ever
• 1:10:40
  again in my life. Fair, because they weren't
• 1:10:42
  described enough. No, there was like no
• 1:10:44
  description. Personality, yes.
• 1:10:46
  Maybe it was like a self insert thing, but I don't want to be
• 1:10:49
  inserted and if I'm going to be. Inserted Give me the sex scene
• 1:10:53
  sex. Scene.
• 1:10:55
  Like what do? You give me a fade to black,
• 1:10:58
  yeah, I want the fucking like. This guy has to work for the
• 1:11:02
  GERK. Like what, are you gonna tell me
• 1:11:04
  you're in love with him after fucking?
• 1:11:06
  At least let me get the You're doing so good, baby.
• 1:11:09
  I mean like I need to know if his back is bendy.
• 1:11:11
  Like is he bending it? Is he putting in the work or is
• 1:11:14
  she doing all the work? I feel like she's doing all the
• 1:11:17
  work. I feel like he's doing all the
• 1:11:18
  work, really, yeah. I get Princess from him.
• 1:11:21
  Yeah. I feel like he's just laying
• 1:11:23
  back reclined because you know, girls, we'll never know.
• 1:11:25
  We'll never. Know we'll have to.
• 1:11:30
  I just want to pick my Lauren's e-mail.
• 1:11:31
  I I only want to pick my adventure so far though.
• 1:11:35
  That's exactly right. Like where's the little reward
• 1:11:38
  we get from? Listening Where's my treat?
• 1:11:40
  Where's Yeah, Where's the treat? I know especially if they're in
• 1:11:43
  their 30s, they've got to be gone.
• 1:11:45
  Ham sandwich. Yeah, maybe their knees be
• 1:11:48
  cracking, but. Then just edit up and out like.
• 1:11:53
  It. Like why did we get?
• 1:11:55
  Anyway, we're circling Flack. Circling.
• 1:11:57
  Like vultures? Very mild.
• 1:12:00
  Yeah, mild, not wild. Very read on the plane, you
• 1:12:03
  know. Very read on the plane.
• 1:12:06
  So that's it. Hey, we're done.
• 1:12:07
  We're out here. Thanks for joining us on Lose
• 1:12:10
  the Plot with Carla and Emily. Don't forget to rate US five
• 1:12:13
  stars and subscribe if you enjoyed slide into our DMS on
• 1:12:16
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