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ADHD and the Emotional Stuff That Comes Up When Trying to Get Organized | Ep 156 · ADHD Strategies & Support for Women

• 0:29
  Hello, welcome to Inspiring Women with adhd.
• 0:31
  I'm Renee, the host of this podcast.
• 0:33
  Excited to be here today.
• 0:35
  You're watching on YouTube I have some new finger jewelry.
• 0:40
  They're rings, but they're actually somewhat related to adhd, which is interesting.
• 0:47
  And my daughter told me.
• 0:49
  My daughter, my oldest daughter is in her 30s.
• 0:52
  She's a mom.
• 0:53
  She has ADHD as well.
• 0:55
  She's been a guest on my podcast and I'd love to have her every week.
• 0:58
  We could figure it out, how to do it.
• 1:00
  I'd love to have lots of guests.
• 1:01
  I just can't figure out how to coordinate that all in my life right now.
• 1:04
  But anyway, she told me that hyper mobility and there's a name for this disorder.
• 1:10
  It's a long name and I won't remember it until I say it about five times.
• 1:14
  But the hyperextension and the hypermobility can lead to injuries.
• 1:18
  And I've been spraining my fingers, especially the ring finger on my left hand, by just hyperextending it.
• 1:25
  And I didn't even realize that was a thing.
• 1:28
  I knew I did that in my legs, my knees, where you lock the knees and you're stretching too much of the back of the knee, but I also do it in my fingers.
• 1:36
  And I just kind of thought everyone did that, which is crazy because I teach yoga and I tell them how we're all so different, but I even talk about down dog, putting your hands down and even, you know,
• 1:45
  rooting so much through the heels of the hands that you're.
• 1:47
  That your fingertips are lifting off the mat.
• 1:49
  Well, that's not going to happen for everyone, but it certainly happens for me, and that's not how I injured it.
• 1:53
  But just during the day.
• 1:54
  Sometimes it just kind of like it just goes out and then it's gone and then it's swollen and then it was a mess.
• 1:58
  And anyway, so when she told me the name of this problem, this disorder, this whatever it is, syndrome, I think it's a syndrome.
• 2:06
  I found that there are rings, they're called swan neck or something like that.
• 2:12
  Anyway, did a little research and found a seller on Etsy that made them that wasn't nearly as expensive.
• 2:17
  And the one that's specially made for your finger, for your joint is a little more expensive than this kind.
• 2:24
  That's just a sterling silver ring.
• 2:26
  This is a different.
• 2:27
  Like a swan.
• 2:28
  I don't know, like where you can.
• 2:31
  I don't know what the word is.
• 2:32
  It's like when you're.
• 2:33
  It's not a single size.
• 2:35
  Then you just can size it yourself.
• 2:37
  Anyway, because they were slow in getting the order out, which I didn't blame them.
• 2:40
  I was slow at getting them my measurements, but I guess they took time.
• 2:44
  After that, they sent me this other one for free.
• 2:46
  And while I was waiting for the order, again, not their fault, I kept spraining the middle finger too.
• 2:52
  So I thought, oh yeah, I have one for this.
• 2:54
  So I'm having fun wearing it.
• 2:56
  And it makes a little noise sometimes, like on the computer.
• 2:59
  So if I type while I'm talking to you and you hear that, hopefully it doesn't pick up.
• 3:03
  But also, when I teach my hot yoga classes, I bring these metal singing bowls.
• 3:08
  And at the end of the class, if they want, during Shavasana, I put a singing bowl on their chest just so they can feel the resonance, the sound wave, the movement.
• 3:16
  I guess it's not the sound wave, it's actual movement of the bowl.
• 3:19
  Like if you ring a bell, it's actually vibrating and you can feel that.
• 3:22
  And it's really calming.
• 3:24
  And with my ADHD of coordination and klutziness and being aware of what I need to do and move my hands and my feet and everything without dropping something, it's been quite an exercise because the last thing I want
• 3:39
  to do is, is drop a metal singing bowl on somebody or even just in the room and make noise while people are relaxing.
• 3:45
  So I've been really mindful of like always hold it with two hands and always step in on the left side to get it.
• 3:52
  So if I did drop it, it wouldn't fall on their head.
• 3:54
  And watch for wet marks on the floor so you're not gon slip.
• 3:57
  And there were some wet marks today.
• 3:59
  But this ring, that's more at the top part of my finger, I noticed right away it cling.
• 4:04
  It made a clingy sound.
• 4:06
  So then I had to do it without this finger touching.
• 4:08
  And I'm just going to take that ring off when I do it from now on.
• 4:10
  But anyway, my little sidebar for today, and I mentioned last time I was going to start out with something that I'm grateful for.
• 4:18
  Maybe that's it.
• 4:19
  I'm just being able to, to have awareness of how ADHD affects my life as it's affecting my life and be able to grow from.
• 4:29
  Because that's one of the symptoms that experts say is part of an adhd.
• 4:34
  Part of adhd.
• 4:35
  I'd love to hear from you if it's something that you deal with.
• 4:38
  But they say lack of self awareness is, is a symptom.
• 4:43
  Of ADHD.
• 4:45
  I haven't seen that on the CDC website or in the DSM5TR, the diagnostic of whatever that's called, you know, the manual that has all the symptoms of how you diagnose adhd.
• 4:58
  I haven't seen that lack of awareness in there.
• 4:59
  Maybe it's in there because it's quite more comp.
• 5:02
  It's way more comprehensive the more I've been reading it.
• 5:05
  But I have seen that on websites and experts like Russell Barkley or these people who write books.
• 5:11
  And for me I'm like, I, I'm learning as I go and I'm learning more how ADHD is part of me, but I feel like I've always been self aware.
• 5:19
  And maybe if this is just my theory, I have a lot of theories that I'll mention on the podcast.
• 5:25
  But maybe if you do have the RSD or the rejection sensitivity, just for you, even a bit of it, not to the point of like it being super severe, but if you have some rejection sensitivity and, and your
• 5:38
  whole life people have told you like, don't do this, do that, like, why are you dragging your feet?
• 5:42
  Why are you tripping all the time?
• 5:43
  Well, you know all these things that they tell me, I mean, that makes me self, aware, right?
• 5:46
  Maybe I wouldn't have noticed and honestly I didn't.
• 5:49
  When I, when I had my first full time job after college, majored in English, it didn't prepare me for any great full time jobs, but I was an administrative assistant and somebody said to me, you.
• 6:01
  One thing I love about you, Renee, is you just run into walls all the time and it doesn't even phase you.
• 6:05
  And I thought I probably don't even notice half the time, so, so that self awareness I think is just such a part of my life that unless I'm getting really hurt, you know, like my husband's band aids on
• 6:15
  my hand.
• 6:15
  When did you get burned?
• 6:17
  Little first degree burn, but it won't heal because I'm always washing my hands or bumping things like, I don't know, like I noticed it a couple days ago, but maybe I had it a couple days before that.
• 6:28
  Probably reaching in the oven.
• 6:29
  That's usually how I get this.
• 6:30
  But you know, self awareness of what's happening in the moment can be different than what I think they're talking about, which is noticing what you're doing and how it's affecting others.
• 6:43
  I'd be curious if, if you're mindful of that because I think, I think kind of, I mean from what I've Heard most people are aware and that's what makes them feel bad about themselves.
• 6:53
  Of like, why am I like this?
• 6:55
  And I think that's something in my journey and understanding.
• 7:02
  I've had adhd.
• 7:03
  When I look back at the symptoms I have, I noticed them.
• 7:07
  There were many things that I thought were different than other people, but there were enough people who did things like that, especially in my family.
• 7:15
  But then you learn it's highly hereditary, so then that makes sense too.
• 7:20
  So yeah, the awareness piece is very interesting.
• 7:24
  Whether that's, you know, something you deal with or not that.
• 7:27
  Today I want to talk about emotional memory and not the kind of memory, not the emotional memory, nor the emotions that get stored in your body.
• 7:39
  If you've looked into that at all, like stress trauma.
• 7:44
  And it doesn't have to be like a trauma, like a super harmful thing.
• 7:49
  It can just be something that's a shock to your system.
• 7:52
  Like it could be, you know, somebody that you really trusted and loved and found out that they were dishonest to you.
• 8:02
  It could be in a friendship relationship, it could be in a marriage, it could be in a, a more serious relationship that's not, you know, that's not married.
• 8:09
  But those kind of things that can be a shock to your system or moving or a death or a lot of things.
• 8:20
  Right.
• 8:20
  A lot of things that are, that are scary and awful and you know, we, we know that a lot of people endure those and that might be you.
• 8:30
  So I'm not talking about that, even though I just talked about it for a couple minutes, even though I just, just to disclaimer on it for a bit.
• 8:36
  But what I'm talking about is, is attaching emotions to memories, to things and how much you do this and how that can show up in your life and how it can, how you might be dealing with that day
• 8:59
  to day.
• 9:00
  And one thing can just be the difference of a house that's clean and orderly or a space that's clean and orderly.
• 9:10
  A desk, a bedroom, a closet, any place that you need to function and you come in and maybe functioning is just relaxing, maybe it's not.
• 9:20
  I need to be able to go in and get something to eat and find some dishes and find silverware.
• 9:26
  If you, if all that's messed up, if you haven't put that in order at some point and even have food to choose from or whatever, it's going to be way more taxing.
• 9:35
  You're going to be using that executive function.
• 9:37
  And I don't know what the percentages are like 85 90% of our thinking or our.
• 9:44
  Our brain power is supposed to be more of the automotive.
• 9:49
  Whatever that is, automated, I don't know, something like that.
• 9:52
  The automatic thinking, that's just.
• 9:54
  You're in a habit, you just do it.
• 9:56
  You get in your car, you put in the key, you know all the things.
• 10:01
  Hopefully the mirror's still set, but if you have to set it, you know how to do it, you know where the.
• 10:05
  Where.
• 10:06
  You know where the seat belt is.
• 10:07
  But you're in somebody else's car, you're in a rental car, you're in a new system, and you're like, wait, where's this?
• 10:12
  And what am I supposed to do?
• 10:13
  The new experiences, your brain has to use a different system, and that's the executive system.
• 10:19
  The executive function is that executive part of your brain, of executing all the little steps or making sense of all the little steps or doing all those things or making a decision and figuring it out.
• 10:34
  That's where ADHD impacts you a lot, is with that executive dysfunction.
• 10:40
  Because anytime that you have to do anything, anytime that you have to do things that don't flow easily, it's going to be harder because your brain doesn't do those things as easily or as routinely.
• 10:55
  It just doesn't work the same way.
• 10:56
  Your working memory doesn't get that information in.
• 10:59
  And I was just playing Battleship with my grandson today.
• 11:02
  It's a grandson that.
• 11:04
  That lives in another state.
• 11:06
  And last time I visited them, my daughter has four children, and last time I visited, we played a lot of games.
• 11:10
  We played Yahtzee, we played Battleship, we played Mastermind.
• 11:13
  You know, I just bring the games that I love, and I've actually brought my games up and then leave them for him.
• 11:21
  I think they already had Battleship.
• 11:22
  But the other ones, I thought, well, if you like this, I'm going to leave it here so you can keep playing it.
• 11:25
  I'll go home, buy another set, and when you come to visit, I'll still have it there.
• 11:29
  When I come here, you have it here.
• 11:31
  Well, the last time I left, I thought, you know what?
• 11:34
  We both got these games.
• 11:36
  You have them in your house, I have them in my house.
• 11:38
  And it's hard being away from them.
• 11:40
  And we love playing these games together.
• 11:43
  So what if we just do it on a video chat instead?
• 11:46
  And so that's what we did today.
• 11:47
  We played Battleship.
• 11:51
  And I found that it's just so easy.
• 11:54
  When I played it as a kid, my brain worked better in a lot of ways, and my executive function has gotten worse with more responsibility with hormonal changes, I can see different shifts of, ooh, we're in a nuclear
• 12:07
  now, you know, and where it is.
• 12:10
  But with battleship, if you haven't played it, you set up your little pieces of plastic that are.
• 12:17
  That have either five little openings for pegs or four or three.
• 12:21
  Three and one with two.
• 12:23
  So you've got five battleships, and they've got five battleships.
• 12:25
  And then you've got a grid A through J, I think, and one through 10.
• 12:30
  12.
• 12:31
  I don't know what it is.
• 12:32
  Maybe 12.
• 12:33
  Yeah, because I think there is an 11 in there.
• 12:35
  And then you set up your battleships, and then they guess, you know, like a seven.
• 12:39
  And then you go a seven, and you either say hit or miss.
• 12:41
  And then if you keep taking turns.
• 12:44
  And so I'm not sure because I haven't read the instructions in a while.
• 12:47
  But when I ask them, I think, this is how you do it.
• 12:50
  So when I ask them, there's also a grid at the top.
• 12:53
  I put either a white or a red at the top.
• 12:57
  If I have missed what I asked them.
• 13:00
  So D4, and they say miss.
• 13:01
  I put a white one there.
• 13:02
  I know not to ask that one again.
• 13:04
  And then if I say D5 and it's a hit, then I know I can go up or down or sideways and maybe get a battleship and sink the battleship and keep getting red.
• 13:11
  So I know where that red is to keep growing from there.
• 13:14
  But then down below, I've got a different grid with my battleships.
• 13:18
  And so I put.
• 13:20
  I don't know, this is where I'm fuzzy on the instructions.
• 13:23
  But I put a red on my ships as they get them right.
• 13:27
  And then I put whites around it as they get them wrong.
• 13:30
  And that's the part I don't know if.
• 13:31
  Am I really supposed to put the whites on, like, around my ship too, maybe?
• 13:34
  Because then I can say, oh, you already guessed that one or something.
• 13:37
  Maybe you do.
• 13:37
  But that's just what I've always done.
• 13:39
  But anyway, and just the working memory thing was cracking me up today because not only was I going like, oh, G11, like once.
• 13:49
  So that's information coming in, right?
• 13:51
  And the working memory has to go information.
• 13:56
  And then take it and put it somewhere so I can act.
• 13:59
  So it can be, you know, kind of stored in my brain for a minute, you know, like, oh, G11.
• 14:02
  I'm saying it out loud or whatever.
• 14:04
  That's my little action of saying it out loud.
• 14:07
  And then I place it in the spot.
• 14:09
  Another action, right?
• 14:10
  So it takes that information, makes it Working makes it stored long enough, you know, 10, 20 seconds, whatever it is, and then I've got it there.
• 14:19
  But there's other things going on, like, is it my turn or your turn?
• 14:22
  And so many times, like, he would ask me for one, and I go, oh, you sung my battleship.
• 14:28
  And then I'd sit there and I'm like, okay, go ahead and guess.
• 14:30
  And he'd say, I just.
• 14:32
  I just had my turn, marm, it's your turn.
• 14:33
  And I go, oh, yeah.
• 14:34
  And then I remember I did have it in there somewhere.
• 14:38
  I just said, I sent my battleship and I found with teaching yoga that I can remember more things that happened in my body that I've said out loud because I've experienced it.
• 14:47
  So I can take something like that, or like, if I'm just going off of sheer memory and I'm teaching a class.
• 14:52
  And then I'm thinking, okay, I think we twist to the right this time.
• 14:55
  So put your right knee in, your left leg out long.
• 14:58
  You know, we go and we twist.
• 14:59
  As soon as I turn and see that, I think I just saw that.
• 15:02
  Like, that's where my memory is stored is what I just saw.
• 15:04
  Like, whoop, wrong side, you know, and go to the other side.
• 15:07
  And.
• 15:09
  And so it's just kind of fascinating, right?
• 15:10
  So our memory can be attached to things that are not emotional like that, you know, like what we're doing in a game, which way we're supposed to go in yoga or whatever.
• 15:21
  And as a yoga student, I don't know if you know that, but yoga teachers, they don't usually call themselves instructors.
• 15:27
  I used to.
• 15:28
  But it's a yoga teacher training.
• 15:30
  You're the teacher.
• 15:30
  You're not, like, just instructing.
• 15:32
  Here's what to do.
• 15:33
  You're actually showing them ways to help themselves, you know, like, you're.
• 15:39
  You're showing them how to do yoga.
• 15:40
  I guess you're providing a space for them to have this experience.
• 15:44
  And then they're a student, teacher, student, right.
• 15:46
  So the.
• 15:48
  As a student, as a yoga student myself, there are many times that I'm just getting the information, hearing it, most of the time, not always looking at the teacher.
• 15:55
  Especially if they walk around a lot, I might look at other people, but a lot of times lying down in a twist or something.
• 16:02
  First side, you know, I think I hear what they're saying.
• 16:06
  I do my twist when I go to the zoo.
• 16:08
  The second side, maybe the teacher's noticed me and he's like, oh, we're going the other way.
• 16:11
  And I'm like, well, Actually, I went the wrong way the first time, so now I'm going this way the second time.
• 16:16
  And, you know, sometimes you get it wrong and it doesn't really matter.
• 16:19
  There's a lot of things that don't matter.
• 16:21
  And there's other things that emotionally we have a memory attached to it.
• 16:27
  And how do we know that?
• 16:28
  Well, there's different senses.
• 16:29
  And one of my episodes that I loved learning about and talking about, and I'll probably revisit it, is all the ways that we.
• 16:39
  That we.
• 16:42
  That emotions and memories can be brought up, you know, like through sight, you know, we see something.
• 16:48
  Oh, yeah, I saw that before.
• 16:49
  You know, like you're driving somewhere, you're not sure where you are, and then you see the neighborhood.
• 16:53
  Oh, I'm in the right neighborhood.
• 16:54
  You know, you see it, you recognize it because you stored a memory there.
• 16:57
  But it also might be you get some shampoo and you hadn't used that shampoo since you were growing up.
• 17:04
  It was in your house or whatever, your grandma's house or something.
• 17:08
  And you smell that and it brings you right back.
• 17:11
  The smell brings you back.
• 17:12
  Or a song comes on and what happens if it's a song from long ago?
• 17:18
  Often you know every word when you didn't even know you knew every word.
• 17:21
  Or it just brings you back to a time.
• 17:23
  And as a younger person, I don't know that I recognize that as much because those songs were the present day songs, you know, like whatever songs were coming out on the radio.
• 17:33
  That's what I was listening to.
• 17:35
  And that was the memory I have.
• 17:36
  Songs that I listen to now.
• 17:37
  I can remember where I was in my house playing Barbies.
• 17:41
  I can remember what the smell of the scratch and sniff sticker on my mirror, if my Barbie smelled like.
• 17:46
  Like.
• 17:46
  It all comes back when I hear these Carpenter songs.
• 17:49
  Because that's what I had, a Carpenter's album.
• 17:52
  And those songs were all growing up with me.
• 17:56
  And then as an adult and I think I went through a big patch without going to concerts and stuff.
• 18:01
  And yeah, I'd hear songs on the radio and sing or have a CD or something.
• 18:05
  But I was still.
• 18:07
  I used to go to garage sales a lot.
• 18:08
  So I would buy CDs at garage sales and get my new CDs and, you know, hear Leanne Rimes or whoever.
• 18:14
  I wasn't a country person, but I loved an album that she had.
• 18:17
  It was a lot of Patsy Cline music.
• 18:19
  And my dad loved Patsy Cline.
• 18:20
  But.
• 18:21
  But at some point when My husband turned 50, we saw.
• 18:25
  I Took him to Elton John for his 50th birthday.
• 18:27
  I'd seen Elton John in college, loved it.
• 18:30
  But that was like, oh, I love these songs.
• 18:33
  At 50, I looked around and my husband and I didn't know each other till we were 23.
• 18:39
  And so those Elton John songs were all experienced before we met each other.
• 18:46
  And so he had his memories attached to them.
• 18:48
  I had my memories attached to them.
• 18:50
  My husband dressed up as Elton John for Halloween once when he was little.
• 18:53
  He had the big glasses made out of aluminum foil, and I think he even had a jacket made out of aluminum foil or something.
• 18:59
  And.
• 19:00
  And I looked around and I saw all these couples, like, turning and dancing to each other with each other.
• 19:06
  A lot of them were older than me.
• 19:07
  At least I thought they were.
• 19:08
  I don't know if they were, but I realized their experience with these songs is bringing them to a special time.
• 19:19
  Yeah, they're having a great time at this concert.
• 19:20
  They're appreciating this amazing talent that Elton John has.
• 19:24
  I was blown away.
• 19:26
  More so.
• 19:27
  The older you get, you know, you appreciate things like, wow, you know.
• 19:30
  But I'm not saying that if you're younger, you can't.
• 19:32
  But I find that that deepens for me.
• 19:35
  And we have this memory that gets stored in us, and we feel a certain way when we hear the songs.
• 19:43
  We feel like, oh, that reminds me of that time.
• 19:47
  Is that always a good memory?
• 19:48
  No, no.
• 19:49
  There are some songs that.
• 19:53
  Not so much in high school, but there are some slow songs from dances that kind of remind me of when I didn't have a boyfriend and wanted to or something.
• 19:59
  You know, like, I like this guy.
• 20:01
  Like, it just makes me feel alone, you know, or something.
• 20:03
  Or during college.
• 20:05
  I had the best time in college.
• 20:06
  But there are a lot of songs that were radio songs in the 80s, 80s that weren't, like, my favorites, but they were around.
• 20:14
  And they remind me of a time of being overweight, wishing I could lose weight, crash dieting.
• 20:20
  Just kind of having that battle going on within me.
• 20:25
  Nobody else was experiencing it but me inside my own body.
• 20:28
  And it's still there.
• 20:29
  I still feel yucky.
• 20:30
  Like, that comes back to that.
• 20:32
  And, you know, that could be a whole other discussion of you shouldn't feel bad about yourself.
• 20:37
  Like, why are people crash dieting?
• 20:39
  That was the time.
• 20:39
  That was the time, according to my daughter, like, when I describe what it was like for so many of us, you know, according to the definition today, I had an eating disorder.
• 20:52
  I don't know if I did, but she was Telling me once that Taylor Swift had an eating disorder.
• 20:57
  And I'm like, oh, did she really?
• 20:59
  Because I think she just listened.
• 21:00
  She's like, yeah, mom, that's it.
• 21:01
  And.
• 21:02
  But she was telling me things that to me were just kind of normal for the 80s, you know, like starving yourself and.
• 21:08
  Yeah, it's not healthy, but it was very common then, so.
• 21:13
  And beating yourself up, you know about it.
• 21:15
  You're £10 or £15 or whatever it was.
• 21:18
  And being treated like less than, you know, for at least feeling like that, away from the guys and stuff.
• 21:24
  But anyway, that's their problem and that's another time.
• 21:27
  But clearly that memory's still there.
• 21:29
  So I want to give you some information on.
• 21:33
  And I hope this is going because I've been talking a little while.
• 21:35
  Let me see how long I've been talking.
• 21:37
  Okay.
• 21:38
  Last time I broke it up.
• 21:39
  I don't know why.
• 21:40
  I think I might have had a brain glitch and just stopped it because it's easier to find where I stop and.
• 21:45
  But then it was harder later to know how long I talked because I didn't look at the time of the first video.
• 21:51
  And I talked.
• 21:52
  It was an hour and 20 minutes, if you didn't notice that last episode, which I think was my longest and I didn't mind, but I can't do that that long tonight because I have to teach a class, so.
• 22:02
  And 49 minutes, so I have to leave here and time blindness, check.
• 22:09
  I don't know.
• 22:11
  Yeah, and a half hour.
• 22:12
  Anyway, so if you have clutter in your house, does it bother you?
• 22:20
  If your house is a mess, does it bother you?
• 22:23
  Does it bother you?
• 22:25
  There's a lot of reasons it could bother you.
• 22:27
  Does it bother you because you feel guilty?
• 22:31
  And it could be a mix.
• 22:32
  It doesn't just have to be one, but just think for a minute.
• 22:35
  So your house is all messy.
• 22:36
  You come home or you're home all day and it's messy.
• 22:40
  Does it bother you because you feel guilty?
• 22:42
  Like, I should.
• 22:45
  Should be cleaning this up.
• 22:47
  Why can't I keep it?
• 22:48
  Why can't I do what other people do?
• 22:49
  I go to my friend's house.
• 22:50
  I'm embarrassed to have them come to my house.
• 22:52
  I feel lazy.
• 22:55
  And it's not like I don't do anything all day, but maybe you don't do anything all day.
• 22:59
  Maybe you have a lot of overwhelm and you're on the computer a lot, wasting time and doing things that aren't fruitful or.
• 23:06
  Or you come home from work tired and and that's the last thing you want to do is, you know, you have no brain power left to even figure out how to tackle anything.
• 23:16
  So are you feeling bad about it because you wish it could be better, you want it to be better?
• 23:21
  Or you don't even care if it's better, but you feel like you should, or is it because you physically don't feel good in a.
• 23:32
  In an environment that's like that?
• 23:34
  Does it bring up some emotions in.
• 23:37
  In you?
• 23:38
  Is it different for you?
• 23:39
  Do you feel like taking out the judgment piece of what somebody else might think or what you think should be the way that your house should look or your bedroom should look?
• 23:49
  If you take away the judgment piece, how do you feel?
• 23:54
  Do you have that feeling like I mentioned, you know, like, I hear a song and I instantly feel that time.
• 24:00
  Does it make you instantly feel that way?
• 24:02
  I feel that way with foggy, foggy weather.
• 24:06
  And lately I'm in Florida, and usually it's pretty hot and sunny and stuff, and we get thunder showers and all that stuff, the thunderstorms, but we've had a lot of more.
• 24:17
  I wouldn't say they were overcast, like fog, but we've had so many cloudy days that we have a lot of, like, the sky's darker during the day because there's so many clouds.
• 24:26
  And then it's like, oh, the sun's out, but it's really like the sun's out the whole time.
• 24:30
  It's not like where I've lived in Northern California, where it's just a high blanket of fog and the sun is not going to peek through at all.
• 24:36
  Maybe a tiny bit in the morning, maybe a tiny bit before the sun goes down.
• 24:40
  But here I can see blue.
• 24:41
  But there's.
• 24:42
  The clouds are so giant, like, gigantic.
• 24:44
  Like my sunset Toy Story clouds.
• 24:46
  They are.
• 24:46
  It's like the bluest sky and then these puffy, puffy Toy Story clouds, but they've been taking up more of the sky.
• 24:53
  And when it's like that.
• 24:55
  And I know there's a thing, you know, like there's this.
• 24:57
  The.
• 24:58
  The lack of vitamin D, the depression that people can get from lack of sunshine.
• 25:03
  It's very common in areas that don't have as much sunshine.
• 25:07
  But I think for me, it's more of a time when I was pregnant, when we lived somewhere when it was foggy.
• 25:14
  And that was the one pregnancy where I was sick a lot and not as sick as some people.
• 25:18
  Never threw up, but just felt nauseated and yucky.
• 25:21
  And that instantly comes back.
• 25:23
  It's so stirred in my brain that when it's just like gray skies out there, unless it's like an exciting thing, like, it feels like, oh, storm's about gonna come.
• 25:32
  I have different emotions depending on how I'm perceiving it and how dark the sky is, which is crazy, right?
• 25:41
  Sometimes we feel crazy, like, this isn't normal.
• 25:45
  But is it normal if you have ADHD and you have emotional dysregulation and your emotions are stuck in some time and that memory comes back, like that shampoo bottle or that song?
• 25:57
  It's like that emotion comes up again and it's like, how.
• 26:01
  How can you change that?
• 26:02
  How can you change that?
• 26:03
  There are ways to change it, especially if you.
• 26:06
  If you can control it.
• 26:07
  You know, I can't really control the weather, but with shampoo, you can take it on four trips and maybe, you know, like on a.
• 26:15
  On a vacation somewhere.
• 26:16
  Maybe later it reminds you of that vacation.
• 26:18
  You know, you can try to attach a new memory to it.
• 26:21
  The song thing.
• 26:22
  I actually did reverse a song effect once.
• 26:26
  May have mentioned it on here before, but.
• 26:29
  But years ago, when Careless Whisperer came out with Wham.
• 26:33
  George Michaels, it's such a good song.
• 26:35
  Like, I was.
• 26:37
  It was like the Rumors album with Fleet Mode Mac.
• 26:42
  It was like.
• 26:42
  When it came out, it's like, what am I listening to?
• 26:44
  Or Hotel California is like, how can a song be this good?
• 26:48
  That's how Careless Whisper was.
• 26:51
  But yet it was at a time, you know, like where I was in college and this boy's cute or whatever.
• 26:57
  And so I love that song so much.
• 27:00
  Then in this relationship with the sky, I mentioned.
• 27:04
  It's my favorite song, you know, it's kind of became the song that reminded me of that relationship.
• 27:09
  When that relationship ended and it wasn't my choice and I was blindsided.
• 27:14
  Blindsided.
• 27:15
  Sighted Nutty.
• 27:17
  Anyway, blindsided.
• 27:19
  The song was constantly on the radio.
• 27:21
  I think it was number one at the time.
• 27:23
  It was constantly on the radio and.
• 27:25
  And I listen to the radio, like, tell me.
• 27:28
  But when it would come on, I cry.
• 27:30
  Come on, I cry.
• 27:31
  And I thought, you need a new, like, emotion to come with this song.
• 27:36
  Like, what are you going to do about this?
• 27:38
  And so I forced myself to listen to.
• 27:40
  It was like, what is that?
• 27:41
  Exposure therapy?
• 27:43
  I listened to it so many times that it lost its meaning.
• 27:46
  I still love the song, but I don't care.
• 27:48
  It doesn't.
• 27:48
  It doesn't remind me of that.
• 27:51
  Of that time.
• 27:53
  Like, it doesn't remind me of that emotion, I guess is what I mean, doesn't remind me of being dejected.
• 27:58
  I feel happy when I hear it.
• 28:00
  And so maybe I need to go out in the overcast weather and just start taking walks.
• 28:09
  I don't know.
• 28:09
  It'd be taking a lot of walks, but I need to.
• 28:11
  I need to attach a new memory to it so that maybe I can, like, have it be a good thing.
• 28:16
  But anyway, so, okay, here.
• 28:19
  Here are some studies about physical clutter.
• 28:24
  Back to the physical clutter of why it might be hard for us to organize, clean, do things or keep things, you know, like, in a way that we can function if we're trying to follow other people's advice.
• 28:40
  And there's so much advice out there.
• 28:42
  Like, there's the Marie Kwando.
• 28:44
  Like, does it spark joy?
• 28:46
  Sometimes that can be helpful, but for a lot of us, it's incomplete.
• 28:50
  Or how many times have I worn it the last year?
• 28:53
  You know, put the.
• 28:54
  Everything that you've worn on this side of the closet.
• 28:56
  That doesn't work because I hold on to things for 10 years and, like, hope it comes back in style or hope it all fit in again or.
• 29:02
  Or just, like, looking at the fabric, I like to touch it, take a picture of it.
• 29:05
  That's another thing.
• 29:06
  You know, take a picture of something you can't get rid of.
• 29:08
  I've done that before with a few things.
• 29:10
  Do I know where the pictures are?
• 29:11
  Probably not.
• 29:12
  But other things, I like how they physically look like fabric.
• 29:18
  I like to touch the fabric and see it.
• 29:20
  And I have this dress in my closet from way too many years ago.
• 29:25
  Like 2005, I wore it.
• 29:29
  My oldest two daughters loved it.
• 29:30
  They wore it.
• 29:31
  They had to take in the waist.
• 29:32
  Now I can barely get it around my ribcage.
• 29:34
  I'm convinced that doing so much yoga is, like.
• 29:37
  Is making me stronger in my whole core, and.
• 29:41
  And it's expanding my rib cage, I think it is, anyway, so.
• 29:47
  Yeah.
• 29:47
  Yeah, like what?
• 29:49
  Why do we have some barriers with getting rid of things, of holding onto things if you hold on to things, or just being able to take care of it?
• 29:58
  And one of the things.
• 30:01
  So there's this information out some experts.
• 30:06
  Dr.
• 30:06
  Russell Barkley is one of the leading experts on ADHD.
• 30:11
  He's written some books on it, and I have one of them.
• 30:15
  But he's.
• 30:18
  He likes to talk about the.
• 30:20
  The working memory problem that we have without memories being stored, that we use other things to store those memories for us, and even if we can't come up with them on our own, that when we see those items
• 30:33
  Those memories will.
• 30:34
  Will come back to us and that we're afraid to get rid of them or we don't want to get rid of them.
• 30:39
  We may not know why.
• 30:40
  You know, might not be a fear, but I feel like it's a fair one.
• 30:42
  I don't want to get rid of anything.
• 30:43
  I can't get rid one of the fears sometimes.
• 30:46
  Like I might need it again.
• 30:47
  But there's a lot of things I'm holding onto that I know I'll never need again.
• 30:50
  I also have a fear that my kids will get mad at me if I get rid of something.
• 30:53
  Like, I hear all their voices in my head.
• 30:54
  And I have six kids and a lot of things.
• 30:58
  They wouldn't care, but if I asked them, they'd tell me not to get rid of them.
• 31:01
  And then, yeah, they're not taking them.
• 31:03
  So it's just like that.
• 31:05
  What am I managing that I don't want to be managing anymore?
• 31:07
  Do I have space for it?
• 31:08
  Maybe?
• 31:09
  Yeah, but it.
• 31:10
  Is it bothering me to still have it?
• 31:12
  Yeah.
• 31:12
  Because I know that I'm gonna have to deal.
• 31:14
  Deal with it someday.
• 31:14
  It's like future.
• 31:16
  Future.
• 31:18
  I don't know.
• 31:19
  It's a to do list in the future, I guess, somewhat, but.
• 31:24
  So his study, his conclusion is that we need these physical items to help us with our memory and that we don't want to get rid of those things without.
• 31:37
  With, you know, that we might lose the memory too.
• 31:41
  For me, I don't know.
• 31:47
  I don't know if that's actually the case, but I can see how it's tied together.
• 31:51
  I'm not really worried that if I get rid of that item that I'll never remember that again.
• 31:58
  And sometimes really, it's.
• 32:00
  It's hard to.
• 32:01
  To remember things like, not just because it.
• 32:04
  It brings about a bad memory, because if you have an attachment for a former time of your life, you love certain people, you've moved away, or you've all grown up and you, you know, you don't live in the
• 32:16
  same town anymore.
• 32:16
  It's been 40 years, 30 years, 20 years.
• 32:19
  You miss that time of your life.
• 32:21
  If you tend to look back with honest and, you know, see old pictures or hear from old friends and not only feel joy that you have that.
• 32:33
  That picture, because back then we hardly took any pictures, but also feel a little bit of pain because you miss that time of your life.
• 32:39
  It's not like you want to go there, but for some reason the emotional regulation is not stable.
• 32:45
  You have emotional dysregulation and out of balance somewhat.
• 32:49
  You're feeling some.
• 32:50
  Some sort of pain from a time that you love no longer existing.
• 32:56
  And it's not that this time is bad or anything.
• 32:59
  It's like with my kids, I.
• 33:00
  I go through that a lot.
• 33:01
  It's like, you know, I hear songs from Hercules and I'm like, oh, you know, I remember when we played Hercules and I got that video for my son for his birthday, and I bought the CDs too, because the
• 33:12
  kids could listen to.
• 33:13
  Well, they played with toys or whatever.
• 33:14
  They know all the songs and.
• 33:16
  And.
• 33:17
  And I just.
• 33:18
  Oh, you know, I get very nostalgic for it.
• 33:21
  And yet.
• 33:22
  Do I still want em to be that age?
• 33:23
  No.
• 33:23
  I want them to grow up.
• 33:24
  I want them to have their experiences, and I still miss it.
• 33:28
  So when I have those items, it's connecting me to the past that I don't want to let go of.
• 33:34
  There's like an emotional.
• 33:36
  Like, I can't let go.
• 33:38
  Is that hoarding?
• 33:39
  I hope not.
• 33:40
  It might be.
• 33:41
  I need to look into what hoarding is more.
• 33:44
  But.
• 33:46
  But.
• 33:46
  Yeah, but.
• 33:47
  So your memory.
• 33:49
  You might want the memory triggers and you might want to hold on to them.
• 33:52
  You might want to experience it again, just like having an old photo.
• 33:56
  You might want to see the drawings of your kids when they were growing up or.
• 33:59
  Or something you wrote.
• 34:02
  I wrote a.
• 34:03
  I wrote a poem.
• 34:04
  I don't know, first grade kindergarten.
• 34:07
  And it was called Water.
• 34:09
  And at the top it said, Water, water, water, water, water, water, water.
• 34:12
  And it's.
• 34:13
  I'm not that much of a poet.
• 34:14
  I.
• 34:15
  This is what it said.
• 34:16
  I had a picture of, you know, like, you know, kind of like the swoopy waves or something.
• 34:20
  Wasn't much of an artist, but I love water.
• 34:23
  Water loves me.
• 34:24
  Water is really just a sea, like S S E A So I think that's kind of cool.
• 34:30
  I remember it, but yeah, it might be important for you to hold on to that memory, and so you might hold on to those things.
• 34:39
  And I hold on to things that are important to my mom that she's given to me, like some old dishes that were her grandmother's.
• 34:45
  I never met her grandmother.
• 34:47
  I never saw those dishes in her home, but I saw them in our home.
• 34:51
  And my mom talked about it, and she wanted me to have it.
• 34:54
  So I know in my heart when I see those dishes in my cupboard that I don't use very much, but maybe put a candle on that, it's something that meant something to my mom.
• 35:04
  And, you know, my mom's still here.
• 35:06
  She's visiting right now, actually, but.
• 35:09
  But yeah.
• 35:11
  Does something for you.
• 35:13
  And yet there's this conflict because for me, when I have adhd, do I need to zigzag all over the place emotionally and get distracted by seeing something that brings me somewhere and then I have a hard time climbing
• 35:25
  out of that emotion and focusing on what I didn't want to do that day.
• 35:28
  So, yeah, it can be a huge distraction.
• 35:32
  So I'm going to skip that one.
• 35:42
  Now.
• 35:42
  You might be curious, but it's really not a big thing.
• 35:44
  Okay.
• 35:45
  So the other thing that I thought was fascinating was there's a professional therapist.
• 35:54
  I don't know if he's a doctor or if it's a she.
• 35:57
  Let's look this person up.
• 35:58
  Casey Davis.
• 36:00
  So Casey Davis wrote a book about cleaning.
• 36:06
  It's like J.K.
• 36:07
  rowling is Casey.
• 36:09
  Oh, doesn't tell me.
• 36:18
  Maybe you already know.
• 36:21
  The ADHD field guide for adults says more from this author, but I don't see that.
• 36:28
  Oh Forward is by Casey Davis.
• 36:30
  Okay.
• 36:31
  Casey Davis, licensed practitioner, wrote a book, how to keep your house while drowning.
• 36:38
  It just keeps coming, keeps coming, keeps coming.
• 36:40
  Right.
• 36:41
  And this author don't know.
• 36:45
  He.
• 36:45
  She talks about that.
• 36:49
  What gets in the way a lot of times is we.
• 36:51
  We attach emotions not only to the items, but to the whole process.
• 36:57
  And the emotions that we feel are getting in the way.
• 37:01
  Because if you're feeling awful from the beginning, or I'll never get this done, or I have to get this done, or why did I ever let myself get sit in this position where my house is not in a
• 37:11
  functional space, then all of those emotions are also attached to the whole process.
• 37:16
  And it's going to be harder to actually make the decisions of, do I keep something?
• 37:21
  Do I get rid of it?
• 37:22
  Do I find a new place for it?
• 37:23
  Where is it going to go?
• 37:24
  And so one of the things to recognize is that you don't need to to feel emotions about how your house is.
• 37:36
  And you might feel emotions anyway.
• 37:37
  You might.
• 37:38
  I already talked about, like, do you naturally happier lighter when the room is more in order?
• 37:43
  I definitely do.
• 37:44
  I feel weighed down.
• 37:45
  I feel like it's a huge to do list.
• 37:48
  I don't know that I feel the guilt unless someone's coming over.
• 37:50
  Like the shame, I guess I don't know if I'd feel guilt about it, but more of the shame.
• 37:54
  Guilt's more like if I just wasted a lot of time by not being able to get myself to do something.
• 38:00
  But if you're feeling that shame instead Of a neutral position.
• 38:05
  So if you think of that with, with eating, there's.
• 38:07
  There's that idea, right?
• 38:08
  With.
• 38:09
  If I'm thinking of the food as good or bad, going to give power to it.
• 38:13
  If it's a bad food, I might want it more like, ooh, that.
• 38:16
  That evil donut, you know, like, yeah.
• 38:19
  And then you eat it and you're feeling shame, and then you're like, oh, but now I should never eat a donut again.
• 38:24
  And then you come back and, you know, so that.
• 38:26
  That shame spirit that, you know, roller coaster or spiral that can happen can get in the way.
• 38:32
  And we've, we've.
• 38:33
  We've given labels of you're messy, you're lazy, or whatever it.
• 38:37
  And then, and then you're feeling like you have to do it and you have to match up to some standard.
• 38:42
  And if you think of it more, what is my optimal way of functioning?
• 38:47
  Is it with it being messy?
• 38:49
  Some people like to have their counter, like in their bathroom.
• 38:52
  The bathroom counter might have a lot of stuff on it.
• 38:55
  And I was just visiting someone in California and they had all their necklaces hanging there, all their earrings, all their face products, all their hair things, like the.
• 39:04
  And this might be you, you know, the, the blow dryer, the hair things.
• 39:06
  It's all so ready that when she goes in that bathroom, it's all at her fingertips.
• 39:11
  I like to have clean counter space and then have things kind of hidden.
• 39:15
  Like my hair flat iron is in a little basket off to the left.
• 39:20
  And.
• 39:21
  But it's.
• 39:21
  But I have a silicone thing, so if it's hot, it won't catch the basket on fire.
• 39:25
  So I try to think of those things.
• 39:26
  But I have all my makeup in a drawer, and yet my product that I use the most, which is the coconut oil, just coconut oil from the store, that's what I slather on my face for everything.
• 39:38
  Because it's easy, it's quick, it's.
• 39:41
  My skin doesn't break out to it, and I get tired of opening the drawer and I'm like, I'm using that morning, noon, night.
• 39:46
  So just have that on top of the counter.
• 39:48
  So I've given up on my moral obligation to have my counter clean, and yet I function better with a clean counter.
• 39:55
  I like how it looks.
• 39:57
  So if you don't care that if you like how it looks, to have it, to have everything everywhere, have everything everywhere.
• 40:04
  If everything has a place and you know where.
• 40:08
  Where it is and you're able to function better.
• 40:11
  And so you're thinking through the lens of can I function in this environment?
• 40:16
  And then if you can't, then you're looking at it as something to do to help yourself.
• 40:22
  And you're looking at it more like self care.
• 40:25
  I'm going to make my life better by doing this.
• 40:29
  I'm not gonna do it because I, you know, I don't want to feel guilty.
• 40:34
  And it's interesting because there was this idea of you don't do it to feel good at the end because you accomplished it.
• 40:40
  And I thought, I'm sorry.
• 40:41
  I feel good when I accomplish something.
• 40:42
  I mean, that's why at the end of a race, people are like, hey, I finished the race.
• 40:45
  We do feel good when we accomplish something.
• 40:47
  But it doesn't have to be like, oh, good, I finally like not feeling guilty anymore.
• 40:52
  It's more like, oh, good, I can function better.
• 40:55
  Or maybe it's just that overall feeling of I'm not so overstimulated.
• 41:00
  I'm not like seeing this big to do list.
• 41:03
  I'm just like seeing a clear space and now I can function in it.
• 41:06
  I can just go in and get ready in the morning without like digging through the stuff that's in the way.
• 41:13
  And I think I would love to talk more, but what time is it?
• 41:16
  Oh, I've got a few more minutes.
• 41:18
  A few more minutes.
• 41:19
  Okay.
• 41:19
  I will kind of wrap this up and then maybe expound on a little bit more in a future episode.
• 41:25
  But.
• 41:27
  But recognizing what kind of environment you need to have, your brain function at its best, remembering that routine, whether it's a certain schedule or just knowing where things are and being able to grab them when you need them.
• 41:43
  So it's like, I need a brush or a comb.
• 41:46
  I know where to find that brush or comb.
• 41:48
  I need my hair straightener.
• 41:50
  I need to brush my teeth.
• 41:52
  I bought enough that when I run out, I've got another one, you know, or whatever system that you have that makes sense it so you're not having to do extra steps.
• 42:02
  You know, I've got the extra tubes of toothpaste right here.
• 42:05
  I know where they are.
• 42:06
  Instead of where did I put that?
• 42:08
  I brought all the groceries in or the orders in.
• 42:10
  It's in a box somewhere or whatever it is that you're finding a system that helps you function, that when you need to, to go and do, you're able to do that because your brain doesn't have to think in
• 42:23
  that executive function mode, it's thinking in that automated mode.
• 42:26
  And you're just able to do things with more ease and you're.
• 42:29
  Your brain, like, isn't as taxed because heaven knows we don't need that, especially when we're having a late morning or whatever's happening.
• 42:40
  One more thing I want to talk about, which see if I can go very far with that.
• 42:45
  It was about time blindness, and I thought it was an interesting take on time blindness.
• 42:55
  Former social associate director at Yale Clinic for Attention and Related Disorders.
• 43:00
  And so he has some studies about adhd, and he talks about it as this impairment in the brain of your executive function or management system of your brain.
• 43:13
  And he talks about time management as that your brain is just stuck in this now position of like, whatever you're doing right now, you're wrapped up in it and you're like, yeah, I need to do that later.
• 43:25
  But you're doing all this stuff now.
• 43:26
  And if it's.
• 43:28
  If it's.
• 43:30
  If you're.
• 43:30
  If something's not happening right now, you have a hard time framing, like, how much time something later is or how much time that will take.
• 43:39
  So he talks about how time and clutter, a reasoning for holding on to clutter, can be related to how our brains function really well with what's happening right now.
• 43:53
  Or they're more geared to what's happening right now and giving validity or like, permanence to what's happening in this moment.
• 44:05
  And so when we get rid of something that's a physical object, it's an anchor in the now to that.
• 44:14
  And when we get rid of that, it's.
• 44:16
  It's like we feel like it's not as valid anymore or it's not.
• 44:22
  We're not connected to it anymore because we are more connected to the now.
• 44:25
  And I'd like to learn in, like more about that.
• 44:29
  I.
• 44:30
  I can see how.
• 44:34
  I can see how.
• 44:36
  How my brain can lose track of what's not right now.
• 44:40
  But I feel like emotionally I'm like, I have so many emotions that are with the past that for me is more like a fear if I get rid of it.
• 44:49
  Like, I'm deciding that it's not important anymore.
• 44:53
  But it may be that for some, it's an anchor to the past.
• 44:57
  And also there's all those emotions of like, I love that person.
• 45:01
  I don't want them to think I don't love it anymore.
• 45:04
  So I'm going to hang on to it forever.
• 45:05
  We clearly can't hold on to everything forever.
• 45:08
  But I'm going to look into that some more.
• 45:09
  I know I'm toward the end and I do you need to leave to get in my class.
• 45:13
  But I'm going to look more into Dr.
• 45:15
  Thomas Brown and the study about physical clutter and the now and the, and the past because we do hold on to things from the past and we also make judgments on that.
• 45:27
  It can even be something more recent, like I spent all this money on that.
• 45:31
  You want to feel good about that decision from the past, but how's it, what's the decision today?
• 45:35
  Like, do you really need it?
• 45:37
  Is it getting in the way?
• 45:38
  And we, we take into consideration that, that time, you know, before and, and just get it all cluttered in our mind, like that's more important that it's actually not, but we feel like it is.
• 45:53
  So anyway, I think that's going to be it for today.
• 45:55
  As much of it as I'd love to go on.
• 45:58
  So I should like pack up a water bottle.
• 46:02
  I have taken it too far so many times in my own time management struggles of waiting till the last second to do the things that I need to do right before I leave.
• 46:11
  So I'm giving myself a little bit more time.
• 46:13
  But thank you for being here.
• 46:15
  I appreciate knowing that you're out there, that you have your own struggles that you're working through.
• 46:22
  I hope things that I say can help you feel not only validated, not feel alone, but also have ideas of how to make improvements where you're struggling.
• 46:36
  Not all struggles will change, but a lot of them can change.
• 46:41
  And as you go, you'll, you'll learn more and more and, and have ideas.
• 46:45
  My mom, I mentioned my mom's here visiting and, and I.
• 46:49
  She's talked about ADHD a little bit, like, I wonder if I have it.
• 46:53
  And she knows that I talk about it a lot.
• 46:56
  But I went into her room the other night and I said, I'm going to read through a lot of the symptoms of the different types of adhd.
• 47:05
  I'm just curious how many you think you might have.
• 47:08
  And the first one, the inattentive type, I thought that she would have very few of those and maybe have more of a hyperactive type, but maybe not, I don't know, you know, So I thought maybe she doesn't have
• 47:19
  enough symptoms for it to affect her.
• 47:21
  But some things that she told me, even about her childhood, I thought, you know, it does sound like it because she's supposed to have some symptoms as a child as well, before 12, to be diagnosed and stuff.
• 47:29
  But anyway, the first, the first page that I read through and maybe I read through like 15, 16, it was from my, my guide that I'M still finishing from my website, but I thought she might say three or
• 47:42
  four.
• 47:43
  She had nine, you know.
• 47:44
  But so we talked through it quite a bit, and it's not that she's looking to get diagnosed, you know, we were just kind of talking about.
• 47:50
  And so I was explaining how that plays out in your life.
• 47:53
  And she was explaining to me when this kicked into a higher gear in her life with some huge changes in her life as she's gotten older and didn't really get that until this time.
• 48:03
  And I said, yep, that could do it.
• 48:05
  And she said, well, what do I do now that I know this?
• 48:11
  What can I do?
• 48:12
  What is there that can help?
• 48:15
  And so I explained to her the difference in the brain that's always having to work and the brain that can just be in a habit mode and a flow and just you streamline your system and you just go
• 48:26
  through that system and your brain's not required to do as much and not in the same way.
• 48:31
  It's not required to make those decisions and weigh things out and understand new steps and all of that.
• 48:37
  And.
• 48:38
  And it just made me realize, because she has listened to my podcast, that I probably need to break some of this stuff down a little bit more.
• 48:47
  Even for me, some of these things that I've learned and shared with you, I go back and I'm like, now, what was that like?
• 48:52
  You know, because it's hard to keep at the tip of the mind, especially all the.
• 48:55
  All the pieces of the information.
• 48:56
  So I'll continue to do that, and hopefully it can help you with those things, whatever it may be.
• 49:02
  That week, that month, that.
• 49:04
  That day of what.
• 49:06
  What can I do now that I understand this, what can I do?
• 49:09
  And one of the gifts of ADHD is being so resourceful and having ideas.
• 49:14
  And sometimes that can help you come up with a new method that you think will work, or just asking other people or reading other people's ideas or talking to friends or something.
• 49:24
  And it may not work the same way it works for them, but it might spark an idea where you take that and you design your own system because it has to work.
• 49:32
  Brain, not anybody else's.
• 49:33
  But that's it for today.
• 49:34
  Thank you so much for being here.
• 49:35
  I will be back.
• 49:36
  Bye.
• 49:38
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• 50:03
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• 50:30
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