Latest / The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast / 271. The Things You Don't Need To Apologize For When Your "Gettin It On"

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271. The Things You Don't Need To Apologize For When Your "Gettin It On" · The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: You are listening to the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, where we discuss how to find ultimate intimacy in your relationship.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: We believe that, no matter how many years you've been married, you can achieve passion, romance, happiness and ultimate intimacy at any stage of your life.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Join us as we talk to not only marriage experts, but couples just like yourself and people who are just flat out fun.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast is for couples who have a good relationship but want to make it even better.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: I think this episode is going to be a fun one.
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: It's the things you don't have to apologize for while you're getting it on.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: So as I was reading through this list, I was laughing and I thought oh, this is going to be a real fun one to talk about, because sometimes there are some funny things that happen while you're making love.
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: And I did not take a poll on this one, and that would probably have been the best survey ever.
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, to ask what are some of the funniest things that have happened or embarrassing things or things like that, we might have to do a part two eventually.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: Oh, totally agree.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, totally agree.
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: I guess we'll just have to come up.
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: I don't have a whole lot of personal stories.
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: Maybe we'll think of something as we're talking.
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: It's not what you were telling me earlier.
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: You said you had a ton of personal things that you just couldn't wait to share with the audience when it came to our sexual intimacy.
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: They don't want to know any of that.
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: Anyways, I know, I'm just I'm joking.
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: This will be a good one, I think.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: This will be.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: It'll be good.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: It'll be kind of lighthearted and funny A little, a little different.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you might not not to to tmi, we're not going to share any personal.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: Of course you might share anyone else's personal.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you probably aren't going to leave this episode thinking, man, I've just learned so much.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: That was like transformative for me.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't know.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: Maybe you will I.
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: I think these are things that you're going to be shocked, that you're like oh yeah, I've never really thought about that, shouldn't have to be apologized for.
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: Like, some of the things on our list that we put together are things I wouldn't have thought like people apologize for that, but everyone's different right.
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: Oh, as I'm looking down, the list.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: I'm like.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: I've apologized for that.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: I've apologized for that Really, absolutely.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: Oh okay.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: Starting us out the gate with number one.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: I've absolutely apologized for this you have.
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: I would think this would be more of a woman thing well no, sometimes.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: So all right.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: So jumping in things we shouldn't apologize for while we're making love, first, how long or how quickly it takes to orgasm okay I've totally apologized for that, because sometimes I might be a little quicker.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: Uh, lately, since we've okay, that's enough.
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: Found the ring uh, okay usually now I'm apologizing for being so much longer I'm trying to like okay, how do we talk about this without talking about it?
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: we can't.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: You have to talk about it.
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: They don't want to know.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: They don't want to know.
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: Okay, let's, we're going to share these things, not in a personal way.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: Not in a descriptive way.
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: Not personal or descriptive.
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: Nick, not personal or descriptive.
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: Okay, a couple, let's re-say that.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: A couple named Nick and Amy.
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, share this experience they had.
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: I'm joking, I'm taking this podcast solo today okay, go ahead, lead us off a couple should never have to apologize for how long it takes or how quick they are to have an orgasm.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: Okay, have you ever thought that that couple has done that Okay?
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: I'm sure all couples have apologized.
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: I'm so sorry that I finished before you or I'm so sorry that I took so long tonight.
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: I think a lot of women okay, let's get serious about this one I think there's a lot of wives that do take a lot longer sometimes and vice versa, that take a lot longer and they actually feel bad where there shouldn't be a reason to apologize for that.
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: Because if you've listened to our other podcasts and episodes and surveys and stuff that we've taken, a husband enjoys the foreplay.
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: He enjoys all that extra time that it takes typically right for sure.
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: So there's no need to apologize.
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: And and yeah, your drives are different, your arousal times are different, that how long it takes to have an orgasm, all those things are going to look different in everyone's marriage and so and I mean between, like, that husband and that wife, those things are going to be off, you know yeah, and sometimes and it's always different it's like not always the same either, like if, if it's been two months since you've made love, uh, chances are you're gonna be faster might be a little quicker than that.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: And if you make love every day I mean it's just you know you're gonna have those things that also play a factor into it as well.
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: All right, right, I guess.
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: Moving on to the next one, lead us off You're going to take charge of this podcast.
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: Oh, I'm going to take charge.
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: Okay, nick was fired by TMI.
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: A couple should never need to apologize to each other for not having an orgasm or not wanting to orgasm again.
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: Wait, people apologize for wanting it again.
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that doesn't happen to us, but Kind of one-hit wonder.
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: Hey, if any of you are listening and you can have multiple orgasms, will you email us?
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: We would like to have you on the podcast.
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: Tell us your secrets.
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: Especially wives.
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: If you even have multiple, let us know your tips and tricks.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: Haven't figured that one out yet so, yeah, we we could do a podcast on that, but we just, we don't have any experience in that, we don't know.
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: We don't know how that works.
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so I mean anyways, I don't think a couple should ever have to apologize for not having an orgasm, not wanting to have one.
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure, right, you never have to apologize for that Like sometimes women and some well, I don't know about men, but I think most some wives would be like hey, I'm not worried about me tonight, let's just take care of you tonight, and that's okay.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: Well, and maybe this is referring to like if a husband's like oh, I'm sorry, I couldn't get you to have one tonight, I apologize, like I would apologize for that, I'd totally feel bad.
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: Oh, you too, you feel all guilty if I'm not enjoying it that night too.
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: I do that's probably a good reason to feel guilt.
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: I mean, most husbands want their wives to enjoy it too, right.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I definitely have apologized for that before as well.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: So we're gonna go down the list to see how many nick has apologized for how many I haven't.
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: Well, we just did the episode on the three phrases you should say to your spouse every day, and one of them was I'm sorry, not, maybe not every day, but like I'm sorry, nick's really good at saying I'm gonna say that in the bedroom too.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, babe, I let you down.
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry I'm joking oh, the next one.
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: You should never have to apologize for your body not responding in the way that you expect it to, or that you you want your body to like our bodies, especially for the wives.
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: Your mind is totally correlated with like your whole body, like mental and physical together during this time, right?
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: So sometimes your mind's just like kind of whacked or off, doing thinking who knows what or I don't know, like it's easy for us to get distracted and I think sometimes for a husband as well too.
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: Like sometimes, our body just responds in different ways yeah.
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: So I don't know.
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: I just think it's important to remember like the mental totally impacts your physical, and sometimes your body doesn't always respond the way you want to, and I don't think that's something that a couple needs to apologize for yeah, unless you really want to say sorry.
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: I don't want to say apologies are bad.
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: I'm not saying bad, I'm just saying you shouldn't.
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: I'm not saying you can't apologize.
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: I'm just saying a couple doesn't need to feel like they need to apologize.
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: Right, because like it went, like not tmi, but like if nick does and I don't don't what I'm just experience pleasure at that night, whatever then, and he apologized I'm sorry that here let's try again, let's try something else, and I'm just like no, no, I'm good.
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: And he's all like sorry about that.
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: I don't think that's a bad thing.
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: I just don't think you should always feel like you have to apologize For some of these things.
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: I mean, there's a big difference.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: I love the next one Random noises that are sure to happen All the time.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: Uh, what do you think those random noises are?
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: I don't I.
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: I'm sure everyone doesn't need to hear what actually I will tell you, amy and I, both our stomachs are always growling for some reason oh, that's true like so I'm always hungry, like all the time our stomachs are growling or like uh, that was my stomach.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: I promise that was my stomach, so no, we'll just leave it at that.
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: Um, I'm sure that there's lots of things that can happen here, but bodies are bodies and if you're a mature person, you're gonna just not be weirded out by that, right, I think that's comes down to maturity yeah, for sure.
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: Things just happen.
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: Our bodies just make, make certain noises.
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: I'm older, my, my bones are cracking.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: Uh, things are making noises, it just kind of happens.
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: So um.
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: I think the normal person is going to apologize for something, though.
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, oh yeah, I don't think like you should have to feel like you have to, though.
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: Um I.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: The next one is absolutely things.
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: Uh, we should not have stop having to apologize for saying no to something we won't want, don't want to do that one's serious yeah you should never do anything you don't feel comfortable doing or want to do.
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: You shouldn't give in because your spouse is pressuring you or.
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: But we will say you know, sometimes it's good.
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: It's good to try new things if you feel comfortable doing so.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: And if there isn't something you feel comfortable doing, so maybe figure out why.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: And if you still feel uncomfortable doing so, that's totally fine.
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: Like I said, you should never do anything you don't feel comfortable doing.
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: But I think it's important, like we've talked about, to have deep discussions on why, why you don't feel comfortable.
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: Make sure you're not just being like nope, I'm not.
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: I'm not open to anything like trying new things keeps your intimate life exciting.
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: So it's, there's a balance here, a tricky balance to like I'm just not gonna try anything versus I'll give it a try being a little bit open and then realizing either why you don't want to try or why you're against that I.
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: I mean, we had those conversations a lot in our marriage.
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: And it's been amazing, because it's been amazing to find out that we both feel the exact same thing on those things.
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: It's like yeah, yeah, definitely, hard, no, definitely hard.
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: no, definitely hard.
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: We have a lot of hard no's in our marriage, which is awesome because we feel the same way.
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: But if I was like hard no on that and it's like I don't know, I kind of that kind of felt good or something like, and I was like, uh-uh, he would never push it, he would never push.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: At the end of the day, and you would never expect me to apologize for for not like wanting something right oh, absolutely, that's just called respect, I think yeah, I agree 100 with that and, uh, honestly, like as you've heard us talk about often before, we have tried a lot of new things and we've been grateful that we have tried things, because we've discovered things and things to make our intimate life better, which like toys.
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: We were super against it.
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: He was against it, I was against it totally, then we finally had a conversation.
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: We're like these are the boundaries we're going to put in place, these, these are the only ones that we will try.
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: They're not going to replace each other those kind of conversations and it's completely changed our intimate life, like that certain one has changed everything Right.
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: So if we would have been like anti hard no, not even willing to try, I would have been missing out on a whole lot of pleasure.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: And I would have been missing out too.
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: Too, because obviously I want her to be as satisfied as she can be I mean, that's not just about me, for sure.
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: So asking for more clarification on things that you've never tried, or things like that, I don't think you should ever have to apologize for wanting to have a deeper conversation on why your spouse feels like that.
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: Like I think that's what it's saying.
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: Right, clarification or communication.
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: Why does that not feel good to you?
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: Or why do you not want to try that?
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: Like I don't think you need to apologize for at least wanting to have that conversation.
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: I think that's important in marriage and being respectful about their answer, how they feel about it, absolutely, but not apologizing for wanting to talk about it like I think the other spouse deserves a reason.
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: Why aren't you willing to try that?
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: Or why does that not feel good, or why do you not like that like I need?
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: I need to know if we're going to be vulnerable and have a better sexual intimate life right yeah, and I feel like for women like there's probably a lot smaller you, you know there's a lot smaller amount of things that probably feel good to a woman where a man like pretty much anything, and so, yeah, I think that's very important For sure.
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: Which leads us to our next one, which is, you know, you don't need to apologize for having a preferred position or something that feels really good to you.
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: Like it's, that's okay.
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: I, I know there are certain things that Amy likes and to me like it's more important to, uh, I guess, do what she likes.
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: Um, because I'm easy, I mean, let's face it like right, like I just, I think most men are, I think most, I think most loving husbands I'm adding the word loving, most loving husbands want their wife to be as satisfied as that, because it's more than just physical to them, it's emotional, it's spiritual, it's uniting, right like we always talk about sexual intimacy.
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: So and when I think for most loving husbands they are willing to try and to talk about and just be like.
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: When I think for most loving husbands they are willing to try and to talk about and just be like hey, just open up to me, tell me what you want, tell me what feels good, be vulnerable, because I want to help you feel that yeah, because number one obviously, if something is, if they're really enjoying it, they're gonna want it, hopefully more often, right, right.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: And number two like there's nothing more satisfying to a man than pleasing his wife sexually, like it's just the way it is, I mean because sometimes it's harder for the wife to be pleased that way.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: So it just, and it makes a husband feel like desired and important and like he, he can please his wife and she trusts him and uh loves him.
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: And I mean there's, I don't know, there's just something about when a wife's pleased, it reflects really good on the husband, like he's doing his job, he's able to, you know.
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: It hires your self-esteem right.
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure.
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: Like I can please my wife sexually and that sometimes sounds hard to do it's an accomplishment a little bit right.
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, absolutely.
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: It's accomplishment a little bit right.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, absolutely.
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: So yeah Again, don't ever apologize for having, like, a specific position or technique or something that helps you really enjoy sexual intimacy.
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: Don't ever apologize for if you, you know, preferring to have the lights on or off, blankets on or off, or certain things that kind of set the mood or make it, make it better, make it more comfortable.
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: Um, let's reward that.
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: Don't ever feel like you have to apologize for those things so if I say, babe, I want the lights on tonight, I don't shouldn't have to apologize for having the lights on.
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: I don't love the lights on and it's not it's not anything to do with like insecurity.
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: It's just like my mind is like focus on everything else.
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: I wonder how many women I need.
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: I need to do a podcast on or a survey on that, because I wonder how many women feel the same way I do like when the lights are on and you're staring at me, or?
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: My big, my big eyes just staring at you or even just like I can see, I don't know, I it's't know it's more distractions.
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: It's harder to focus sometimes.
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: If your wife's mind is just always going like mine, always busy that what's the next thing I need to get done.
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: Like my mind never shuts off, it's probably harder for her to have it.
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: The room really lit up well, I think, where we as men are probably more visual, it's you know, a lot of men probably like it because they can see their wife, they can see her body, how she's reacting yeah where, when the lights are out, it's more of a feel you know which is which.
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: I like more, he likes less.
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: So yeah, you have to talk about it.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: I like less well, you like.
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: You rather have the lights on hey, I will fill you okay that's enough um, yeah they know, what I meant um uh, okay, um you shouldn't ever have to feel like you need to apologize for wanting to switch things up, or or Like you need to apologize for wanting to switch things up or try something new.
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: I apologize to Nick after I bought you know, our story Year 15, I bought like a bedroom game and I actually kind of offended him because I think that you thought maybe I was bored.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: And I was.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: Well, again, if you've listened to our podcast before, you've probably heard this a hundred times.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: But immediately, my initial response was what Is what I'm doing, what we're doing, not good enough for you?
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: Right, like why do you need something more?
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: Like what am I?
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: And I put it on me as to like what am I lacking?
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: What am I doing wrong?
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: Why is she bored in the bedroom?
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: But what it really came down to for me is I wanted to try something to more focus on the clitoris.
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: I wanted to try things that would would help in that way more, because a lot of husbands don't realize that penetration doesn't work for most 80 of women for orgasm.
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: So it was more I, I and we were.
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: This is the time of our life or our marriage where we weren't having these intimate conversations.
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: This is what feels good, this is what doesn't feel like.
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: We weren't at that place.
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: We were like super open about these companies.
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: It was hard for us, right, and so that was the best way I could break the ice is like I need to chase something else because this isn't really working.
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: It works for you, but for a woman it's a lot harder to be aroused and it doesn't feel good as long and I can't orgasm like that at all.
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: And how do I break that open to have these conversations?
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: And that worked for us and hopefully I mean that's where the app came from was to try and help couples to rip off that band-aid of we can't talk about sexual intimacy.
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: Make it easier, make it deeper so that it can be more satisfying for both people.
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: Because, absolutely, if a wife Isn't it a place when she can tell her husband this is what feel good, don't touch me there.
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: No, that doesn't work.
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: And Just all those conversations.
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: She's not going to be enjoying it and it's going to dwindle in the marriage and that's a huge problem, right.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: So after she apologized to me, I said don't you ever apologize to me about that again, because?
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: yeah.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: Because our sexual intimacy changed.
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: And I yeah, it's just it's a hard topic.
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just it's a it's a hard topic, but I don't think you should ever have to feel like you need to apologize for wanting again to talk about it and to switch things up and just try something like I think it's very.
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: you know how important that is yeah, for sure, um, you should never have to apologize for wanting to use intimacy aids or toys or different things to spice it up, and again make your sexual intimacy so much better.
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: There's nothing wrong with wanting your sexual intimacy to be as enjoying and fulfilling as you possibly can have it, and if you need a little help like what, what's wrong with that?
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: You would rather have a little bit of help than just ignore that and have a sex life that's infrequent and not that enjoyable.
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: Or a wife that never has an orgasm.
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: Like how sad is that?
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: Like we hear from so many couples that I'm like you've been married, how long You've never had an orgasm yeah, For like 20 years or more many couples that I'm like you've been married.
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: How long you've never had an orgasm?
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, for like 20 years or more.
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: You know, sometimes 20 years, sometimes 10 years, sometimes two years, sometimes longer.
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: Like yeah, I just, I literally don't know my body, I don't know what to tell my husband, like again, why we created the app, like that's so sad to me and if you're a spouse that's never had an orgasm, you could see how you could get the mindset like, oh, that's totally for him.
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't even enjoy it, I, I don't want oh, you would feel like it was a chore 100 if you were enjoying it every single time yeah, every single time it would totally.
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: That's that mindset, that chore mindset.
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: That's where it comes from.
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: Like you have got to figure out how to talk about it and how to try things to help it, so you are enjoying it every single time.
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: I like the toy that we have in our shop.
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: That's like our number one seller that sold out like three times I I don't even know if it's possible for a wife to use that during lovemaking and not have an orgasm.
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: Like it's that good, like that would be my first.
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: If someone said I don't have an orgasm, that'd be the first thing I'm like here's here's your fix.
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: Here's your instant fix right yeah, and so far, the feedback we're getting from people is like this is amazing.
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: I can't believe how well it works and so many people that are so anti-toys like we were, like, oh, I just wish I could say hey, it's actually more uniting and more connecting, because to use together, because now you're both fully enjoying each other, like that's a good thing, that's a good thing and this, this particular intimacy aid, the, the male vibrating ring um, is used while you're making love.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: So, unlike some of the other ones, which are still great aids um, but you're using it, like together, while you're making love, while you're intimate.
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, there's no replacement there.
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: It's literally just helping her to feel good the entire time.
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: That's the only difference.
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: Like it's literally life changing.
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: Amy.
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: When we just got an order of like several hundred of them back in, Amy made me put ten aside, just so we don't run out.
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: Or so I can hand them to my friends Literally, yeah, literally.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: Which she has been.
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: She's been handing them out like candy.
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: Oh, they're marriage changing.
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: Anyways, enough about that rant.
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: The next, I guess next and last, unless you can come up with anything else is I was going gonna say you should never have to feel like you need to apologize for having to take a pause, like for whatever that reason.
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: If you're having like pain in your back or like when I was pregnant and like you'd get late, I'd get leg cramps all the time, like they're so dumb, but like any kind of like physical reason, like I just need to stop and like reset or I need a little break.
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: Let's take an intermission.
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: Intermission, Whatever that is Like.
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: I don't think that a couple should ever have to apologize.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: I feel like they have to apologize and sometimes that happens.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: You have kids, you have.
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: Oh, sometimes someone's knocking on the door and you're like well, we're taking a 10-minute pause.
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: Hurry, get dressed, you know.
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it happens.
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, of course you're not going to apologize for each other, for your kids knocking on the door.
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: But there are other things that you can apologize for your kids for knocking on the door and say they need to apologize.
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: They should have never knocked on the door.
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: I hope they don't know what's going on.
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: I really hope they have no clue what's going on, but anyways, yeah.
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: So, I can't think.
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: Can you think of anything else?
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: I can't think of anything else.
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: I hope we didn't miss anything.
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: But I don't think.
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: Well, I thought I could come up with another one.
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: I think that's about it.
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: I think we covered them, it's a pretty good list, but I think we need to reiterate it's always okay to apologize in your marriage.
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: This list is more about not feeling like natural things during intimate time need to be apologized for.
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: I think we need to take some of these things like these are natural, these are common and and in marriage you're only with each other, so a lot of people don't know any different right, and that's the thing.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: Like you and this is a very vulnerable time where you're going to have things happen that don't happen during other times.
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: You're going to have just different experiences.
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: Some of them are going to be funny, Some of them are going to be embarrassing, Like it's just, but you're oh.
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: I'm going to add something.
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: Body fluids especially for women Like if you after you've given birth, if you you're on, if it's like during that time of the month, like things like that.
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: I don't think, like yeah, I would probably be like oh, sorry, sorry, this got on you or sorry, whatever I mean.
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: You obviously have body fluids too, but like those, kind of things are natural.
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: I think I probably don't need to say that, because everyone's pretty mature in their marriage, hopefully.
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: But yeah I don't think that you should ever have to feel bad for your human body working the way it's supposed to, right no, and it actually just enjoy the moment, enjoy being together and understand that, like I said, funny things are going to happen, weird things are going to happen, different things are going to happen sometimes positions, positions are crazy.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: That comes back to, just like I said, um being so vulnerable with each other that utilizing this time to connect at a much deeper level, and you're, that's why sexual intimacy there's nothing more connecting because you are at your most vulnerable state, um connecting and seeing all your flaws and different things, and so, yeah, I mean.
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: I'm going to add one more Never feel like you have to apologize for trying a position and be like that sucks.
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: I'm never doing that again.
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: We've done that.
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: I think everyone has.
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: How in the world does that?
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I'm not an acrobat.
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: That's definitely not not gonna be tried again she's no gymnast, neither am I, neither am I anyways you're supposed to do what?
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: what?
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: no, no, not doing that anyways, hopefully this was a fun podcast episode and if you need a great intimacy aid to take your intimacy to the next level, go check out the mill vibrating ring in the shop it's the flower one it's the flower one, it is the best, it is an amazing product.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: We need to say anything else um, if you don't have one, you're totally missing out your wife is missing out.
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're no question no, question no question that that, like I said, that, should be a household item that everyone has.
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: You should have lubricant, massage oil and that toy in your nightstand, or well, a locked nightstand Away, Away, Somewhere hidden.
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: But literally the three must-haves.
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: The three must-haves.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, every couple.
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: Yep, your bedroom will be transformed into a heaven, heaven on Earth.
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: Anyways, we hope you enjoyed the podcast and until next time, we hope all of you find ultimate intimacy in your relationship.