Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / #HURDLEMOMENT: A Registered Dietitian On Why Diets Don’t Work & How to Shift Your Focus to Long-Term Solutions

Transcript

#HURDLEMOMENT: A Registered Dietitian On Why Diets Don’t Work & How to Shift Your Focus to Long-Term Solutions · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

0:00
Speaker 1: When you start to understand how food affects your body
0:04
Speaker 1: and get educated on that, that can give you a
0:07
Speaker 1: little bit of freedom.
0:22
Speaker 2: Hey, everybody, Emily and Badi here, you are listening to
0:26
Speaker 2: another installment of Hurdle Moment from Hurdle, a wellness focused
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Speaker 2: podcast where I sit down with everyone from your favorite
0:34
Speaker 2: athletes to top experts in industry CEOs to talk about
0:37
Speaker 2: their highest highs, toughest moments, and everything in between. We
0:41
Speaker 2: all go through hurdles in life, and my goal through
0:44
Speaker 2: these discussions is to empower you to better navigate yours
0:47
Speaker 2: and move with intention so that you can stride towards
0:50
Speaker 2: your own big potential and of course have some fun
0:54
Speaker 2: along the way. For today's episode, I am chatting with Vanessa.
1:00
Speaker 3: She is the co founder of Kalina Health.
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Speaker 2: She's also a registered dietitian, and we are talking all
1:07
Speaker 2: about this concept of why dieting doesn't work in the
1:12
Speaker 2: long haul.
1:13
Speaker 3: Now, this is.
1:14
Speaker 2: Something that I've talked about sporadically on the show, and
1:16
Speaker 2: I do feel as though I need to provide a
1:18
Speaker 2: little bit of context. You may have heard me talk
1:22
Speaker 2: about using WW to lose weight in college. I didn't
1:26
Speaker 2: so much necessarily follow the program as much as I
1:30
Speaker 2: used the option to weigh in at a facility a
1:33
Speaker 2: center as they call them, to stay accountable and head
1:37
Speaker 2: toward my goals. I don't believe in restriction whatsoever. I
1:41
Speaker 2: believe that you can have all things in moderation, and
1:43
Speaker 2: that is really what me and Vanessa are talking about.
1:47
Speaker 3: In today's episode, she shares.
1:49
Speaker 2: How she got into this line of work and we
1:51
Speaker 2: have a really meaningful discussion about eating things that make
1:56
Speaker 2: you feel fulfilled and satisfied. Used the word long term
2:01
Speaker 2: weight loss, keeping the weight off strategically when I said
2:04
Speaker 2: that diets don't work, because, as Vanessa says in today's episode,
2:08
Speaker 2: yes they can work in the short term, but the
2:11
Speaker 2: question really comes up, are you going to live in
2:16
Speaker 2: a restricted type of lifestyle for the rest of your
2:19
Speaker 2: days and do you even want to?
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Speaker 3: For me, my answer is no.
2:24
Speaker 2: I know that yes, this topic can be controversial, and
2:27
Speaker 2: I also really appreciate that Vanessa is standing where I
2:32
Speaker 2: stand on this idea that if you want.
2:34
Speaker 3: To lose weight, it is okay.
2:38
Speaker 2: So much is happening these days with the body neutrality
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Speaker 2: body positivity movement, and while I support everyone on their
2:46
Speaker 2: journey learning what healthy, feels like and maybe even looks
2:50
Speaker 2: like for them. It is okay if you are in
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Speaker 2: your body, sitting as you are and feel as though, hey,
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Speaker 2: I'm just not happy, I don't feel right.
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Speaker 3: I want to do something, and that something might involve
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Speaker 3: losing a few pounds.
3:04
Speaker 2: To each their own, everybody is different, and as Vanessa
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Speaker 2: stresses in today's episode, it is important for you to
3:12
Speaker 2: talk to someone one on one about what you're going
3:15
Speaker 2: through so that you can make informed, good decisions.
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Speaker 3: For you moving forward. I do have to note and
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Speaker 3: mark this.
3:22
Speaker 2: Episode explicit Vanessa's hilarious. She really does have a no
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Speaker 2: bs approach to her advice style, something that I could
3:30
Speaker 2: really appreciate, and honestly, with these topics, it.
3:33
Speaker 3: Was for me really really refreshing.
3:37
Speaker 2: Make sure you're following along with Hurdle over on social media.
3:40
Speaker 3: It's at Hurdle podcast.
3:41
Speaker 2: I am over at Emily a body also want to
3:44
Speaker 2: call out if you want to be spotlighted in the
3:46
Speaker 2: Weekly Hurdle, I would love that the link to submit
3:50
Speaker 2: yourself or even a friend with a nomination form in
3:54
Speaker 2: the show notes.
3:55
Speaker 3: With that, let's get to hurdling today. I am sitting
4:03
Speaker 3: down with Vanessa Rossetto.
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Speaker 2: She's a co founder of a Kaleena Health and a
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Speaker 2: registered dietitian. I'm so excited to have you here today.
4:11
Speaker 2: I know that we have a lot to get into.
4:14
Speaker 2: I want to focus with you in our conversation about
4:18
Speaker 2: why the concept of a diet may not be the
4:22
Speaker 2: ideal way to approach eating, even if you are hoping
4:26
Speaker 2: to lose a little bit of weight. So before we
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Speaker 2: get into chatting all things diet and anti diet or
4:32
Speaker 2: maybe not dieting, why don't you give us a little
4:34
Speaker 2: information about you yourself, how you got to where you
4:37
Speaker 2: are now, shed some light on your background for us.
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Speaker 1: Yeah. I always tell everybody that I'm my parents' biggest
4:43
Speaker 1: disappointment because I'm not a doctor, and so they're not
4:47
Speaker 1: doctors either. That my mom was a nurse and my
4:49
Speaker 1: dad is an engineer, but they're immigrants and so like
4:52
Speaker 1: the North Stars for your child to be a doctor.
4:55
Speaker 1: And then when I decided to go back to school
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Speaker 1: to be a dietitian, they were just like, oh God.
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Speaker 1: And then but it was fine because I was going
5:01
Speaker 1: to work in the hospital and so they were okay
5:03
Speaker 1: with that. And then I decided that I was going
5:05
Speaker 1: to take all these twists and turns. I ended up
5:08
Speaker 1: back at NYU teaching the dietetic internship, and I started
5:12
Speaker 1: cooling to health with another colleague, Tomar Samuels, and we
5:16
Speaker 1: just thought like, hey, we have insurance contracts, so we're
5:18
Speaker 1: just going to take insurance, like give people access and
5:22
Speaker 1: hire two other dietitians. And it was going to be like, hey,
5:26
Speaker 1: we're just gonna, you know, hire these people. We're going
5:29
Speaker 1: to see people from insurance. We're not going to ourselves
5:31
Speaker 1: at the end of the year. We're going to pay
5:32
Speaker 1: our taxes and whatever's extra. We're just going to split
5:35
Speaker 1: that two ways and keep going. But then COVID happened,
5:39
Speaker 1: and there became this need for people to understand their health,
5:44
Speaker 1: have access to their health, be able to talk to
5:46
Speaker 1: their practitioner over zoom, like in real time, and we
5:50
Speaker 1: were providing that. And because it was the first time
5:53
Speaker 1: that insurance companies were going to reimburse telehealth at the
5:56
Speaker 1: same rate as an office visit, we could scale right
5:59
Speaker 1: like you could see more people. So it was just
6:02
Speaker 1: it was this like really great thing, and then investors
6:05
Speaker 1: started calling. They're like investor called me, and they're like, hey,
6:07
Speaker 1: do you want to partner, and I'm like, do you
6:08
Speaker 1: what are you calling the right person? Uh? And and
6:13
Speaker 1: so then we ended up raising the seed round, you know,
6:17
Speaker 1: under the like the mission and right is to just
6:19
Speaker 1: like give people access right whatever health and wellness means
6:23
Speaker 1: to you. It's just such a fragmented and confusing space.
6:26
Speaker 1: You know, you don't know like should I lose light?
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Speaker 1: Should I not lose late? Is okay? If I want
6:30
Speaker 1: to lose lid? Do I do I care about my diabetes?
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Speaker 1: Do I not care about what I eat? Like, there's
6:33
Speaker 1: so many messages, so being able to provide clear information
6:38
Speaker 1: to people rooted in data and science, like we are
6:42
Speaker 1: all licensed, and also it's basically free, right, like insurance
6:45
Speaker 1: pays for it. So so all of that is like
6:48
Speaker 1: we're doing good work where we are really helping people.
6:51
Speaker 1: And that was really the whole point of the whole thing.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know, it's not all that often that
6:56
Speaker 2: you hear someone say like, well we'll just figure out,
6:58
Speaker 2: like we'll just split whatever's last right, So it's really
7:02
Speaker 2: clear that your purpose was really what was guiding you
7:05
Speaker 2: as you built this from scratch.
7:08
Speaker 1: Yeah. I always think I'm going to say something I
7:12
Speaker 1: say a lot of controversial things. I say them nicely
7:14
Speaker 1: sort of. But I think that like nutrition is this
7:18
Speaker 1: like slug of a profession, Like the space is fragmented.
7:22
Speaker 1: Everybody can call themselves a nutritionists. Our governing body doesn't
7:25
Speaker 1: protect us, and so everyone is fighting for scraps to
7:27
Speaker 1: try to get noticed. So when people say to you, oh,
7:31
Speaker 1: it's totally easy, just do whatever you want, don't worry
7:33
Speaker 1: about it, that's also bullshit, right, So I'm always the
7:37
Speaker 1: one that's going to always tell the truth. The truth
7:38
Speaker 1: is whatever you're trying to do, weight loss, lower your
7:42
Speaker 1: A one C for diabetes, lower your cholesterol, all of
7:46
Speaker 1: those things, healing your relationship with food, that is going
7:49
Speaker 1: to be worked. It's going to be hard work. It's
7:51
Speaker 1: not sexy, and you need people behind you to help
7:55
Speaker 1: you get over whatever the hump is. It's too hard
7:58
Speaker 1: to do it by yourself. You don't know what's right.
8:01
Speaker 1: And also there's so many little nuances with the plan
8:04
Speaker 1: where a plan somebody else did and you're going to
8:07
Speaker 1: do and you think it's going to like save you,
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Speaker 1: it's not. It's probably not going to work for you.
8:10
Speaker 1: Because that's the truth.
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Speaker 2: I think there's a lot of shame also in admitting
8:15
Speaker 2: maybe that you have veered off of a path that
8:19
Speaker 2: made you feel good, or that you are keeping certain
8:22
Speaker 2: things in your cabinets that you quote unquote feel like
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Speaker 2: you shouldn't be. And so people don't reach out for
8:28
Speaker 2: help because they feel as though they really are just
8:32
Speaker 2: veered off course completely and have done something completely wrong.
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Speaker 2: But the most beautiful thing that you can do for yourself,
8:38
Speaker 2: and I feel like you'll agree, is starting by admitting
8:42
Speaker 2: that hey, I do need help and opening yourself up
8:45
Speaker 2: to that experience.
8:47
Speaker 1: I always talk about Jaylo because she's like my north star,
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Speaker 1: even though like she's not because I don't have Jaylo
8:51
Speaker 1: means her money. But you know, she's fifty two years
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Speaker 1: old and she's beautiful and seemingly like perfect. But I
8:56
Speaker 1: always say, like, but she's a Puerto Rican who doesn't
8:58
Speaker 1: eat rice, like, so she happy. I don't know she would.
9:03
Speaker 1: I would not be happy so like, but but you
9:05
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, like, even she has to struggle
9:07
Speaker 1: to do something right, like she's she's conditioned herself. Okay,
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Speaker 1: this is what I'm gonna do. My body is part
9:13
Speaker 1: of my job, and so and not eating rice is
9:16
Speaker 1: something that I have to do, Like, Okay, that's that's
9:19
Speaker 1: a sacrifice and a struggle and a compromise. Maybe she
9:21
Speaker 1: wants to eat rice every day. So like we have
9:24
Speaker 1: to start to be like very realistic about what we
9:28
Speaker 1: are capable of doing and like what is good and
9:31
Speaker 1: what is good enough.
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Speaker 2: This concept of everybody struggles is just so important as well,
9:37
Speaker 2: because just like someone may seem as though they're not
9:41
Speaker 2: struggling with something like their body image. I recently put
9:44
Speaker 2: up an Instagram story asking my followers to let me
9:46
Speaker 2: know if they struggle with how they feel while wearing
9:51
Speaker 2: workout clothes. I had everyone from elite level pro athletes
9:55
Speaker 2: saying one hundred percent yes to women that have messaged
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Speaker 2: me in their past saying that they identify with being
10:02
Speaker 2: uncomfortable in their body and the feeling as.
10:05
Speaker 3: Though they're overweight.
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Speaker 2: So that struggle is not just specific to one body type,
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Speaker 2: and that is something that's so important for us to
10:14
Speaker 2: get to a place where we can be open about
10:16
Speaker 2: that because sitting in your shame by yourself is a
10:20
Speaker 2: lonely experience that you do not need to do or.
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Speaker 1: You do not need to have totally. And the thing
10:26
Speaker 1: is is that when you have those ideas and those tendencies,
10:30
Speaker 1: and then you keep them quiet. But what happens is
10:33
Speaker 1: they actually do come out sideways. So maybe they come
10:35
Speaker 1: out and how you communicate to your kids or to
10:38
Speaker 1: your partner or to your friends, and those are things
10:41
Speaker 1: that you don't realize because you normalize counting the calories,
10:45
Speaker 1: talking about how your thighs rupped together, saying that you're
10:48
Speaker 1: fat in passing, Like I always like to watch my
10:52
Speaker 1: kids because they are they those two like live the dreams.
10:56
Speaker 1: They don't give a fuck. They're like, oh, yeah, how
10:59
Speaker 1: many cars have more carbs in my lunch today? Like also,
11:02
Speaker 1: I want a sandwich, I want cookies, I want pretzels,
11:06
Speaker 1: And I'm like, can you please eat a piece of fruity?
11:08
Speaker 1: Like fine, I guess so, but like these like right,
11:11
Speaker 1: like I'd love to see kids just like eating and
11:13
Speaker 1: free and they're okay with their bodies and they like
11:16
Speaker 1: everybody's body is different and nobody is like commenting on it.
11:19
Speaker 1: Nobody is saying, oh, you look so nice or you
11:22
Speaker 1: look so thin, Like I want that for us, but
11:25
Speaker 1: we're so it's so hard because you know, as you age,
11:27
Speaker 1: that's just like very hard to come back from but
11:32
Speaker 1: you know, we have to make sure that whatever whatever
11:34
Speaker 1: our defects are like not to pass them on to
11:37
Speaker 1: these next generations. So I think it's really the language
11:39
Speaker 1: that you use and how you treat yourself and others
11:43
Speaker 1: so that we can sort of break these cycles.
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Speaker 3: Definitely, definitely.
11:47
Speaker 2: So, as I said at the top of this, we
11:49
Speaker 2: are really here to talk about this idea that we've
11:52
Speaker 2: started riffing on so far, which is that diets don't
11:56
Speaker 2: work and what to do instead.
11:58
Speaker 3: So why don't we start off by explaining the.
12:01
Speaker 2: Thought process of why diets don't work?
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Speaker 1: Right? Well, okay, so the thing is that every diet
12:09
Speaker 1: will work as long as you do it. It's just like,
12:12
Speaker 1: what is the sustainability of that? And that's the problem,
12:15
Speaker 1: right is in the end, it's just going to go
12:17
Speaker 1: back to whatever, whether it's you're taking medication and I
12:22
Speaker 1: don't listen, some people need medication and that's fine. But
12:26
Speaker 1: when you're somebody who's like, I'm doing this medication as
12:29
Speaker 1: the diet, as the quick fix, as because I because
12:31
Speaker 1: I can't have the bandwidst, I just this is what
12:33
Speaker 1: I'm doing, it never ends well or even like one
12:37
Speaker 1: of my friends, I told him. I was like, I'm
12:39
Speaker 1: going to talk about you on the podcast. He's like,
12:41
Speaker 1: oh my god, it's so annoying. One of my friends
12:43
Speaker 1: at forty eight years old got COVID and his body
12:45
Speaker 1: was primed for autoimmune so he got type one diabetes.
12:49
Speaker 1: And he is forty years old and he's single, and
12:51
Speaker 1: he lives alone, and so he doesn't like to take
12:53
Speaker 1: insulin at night and very nervous that maybe he's going
12:57
Speaker 1: to go low and there'll be nobody around to help
12:59
Speaker 1: him out. So he does not eat a lot of
13:02
Speaker 1: carbs at all, and his blood sugar is really well controlled.
13:05
Speaker 1: But he's doing a keto diet. Well, guess what. That
13:08
Speaker 1: keto diet messed with his kidney function put him into
13:13
Speaker 1: chronic kiddy disease Stage three. We only can go to five,
13:16
Speaker 1: and you need TASiS. It's got a ton of stones
13:21
Speaker 1: built up in the kidneys. It's totally reversible. But it's like,
13:24
Speaker 1: these are the little nuances that you like. Everyone's like, oh,
13:28
Speaker 1: you just do this and it's gonna work. Like is
13:29
Speaker 1: it gonna work? Is it sustainable? What is it doing
13:32
Speaker 1: to other parts of your body? Like? Why are we
13:35
Speaker 1: always looking for something to be fast and quick, like
13:39
Speaker 1: we need to go back to it's gonna be hard work.
13:41
Speaker 1: It's not going to be glamorous. And just because Jalo
13:45
Speaker 1: looks a certain way, right, or you know, like I
13:48
Speaker 1: look a certain way, doesn't mean that you need to
13:50
Speaker 1: look a certain way. And just because you eat things,
13:52
Speaker 1: I mean I want to eat things like, it's okay
13:54
Speaker 1: for all of us to be different. So I just
13:57
Speaker 1: think that we're on this missions crusade to like look perfect.
14:00
Speaker 1: We don't want to admit the truth like people care
14:02
Speaker 1: what they look like. People care what they look like.
14:04
Speaker 1: That's okay. You can care what you look like. It's fine.
14:08
Speaker 2: You also do have to be realistic while taking into
14:11
Speaker 2: account your family history and meet yourself with where you're at.
14:15
Speaker 2: So feeling good about yourself needs to be truly a feeling.
14:20
Speaker 2: And if that feeling is associated with perhaps what you
14:25
Speaker 2: see on social media in a way that isn't realistic
14:29
Speaker 2: or safe for your body, then the best thing that
14:31
Speaker 2: you can do is consult with someone irl so you
14:34
Speaker 2: can set a realistic expectation and vocalize where you're at
14:38
Speaker 2: and the you know, the mental things that go hand
14:41
Speaker 2: in hand with the shifting of what you might be
14:44
Speaker 2: putting into your body or however you're proceeding forward.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, one hundred percent. I just think for the longest
14:49
Speaker 1: time there was the message of like restriction and elitism
14:53
Speaker 1: and thinness is the only way to be. And then
14:56
Speaker 1: like all of those people realize that they have like
14:58
Speaker 1: disordered eating, and so now it's like through their lens
15:01
Speaker 1: of like, hey, that was disordered, So now everything is disordered,
15:06
Speaker 1: and it's like, Okay, that is not freaking true. There
15:09
Speaker 1: is a middle here, guys, Like everybody stopped. Like obesity
15:13
Speaker 1: is a chronic disease. People's body types are based on
15:19
Speaker 1: their genetics. It is very multifactorial. There are so many
15:24
Speaker 1: genes that people have been studying for thirty and forty
15:26
Speaker 1: years trying to really understand the complexities around this. So
15:30
Speaker 1: like to dismiss it is very careless, and so I
15:34
Speaker 1: think that we have to just go back to talking
15:36
Speaker 1: to people about like science and data and like what's real.
15:40
Speaker 1: And so what is real is that if everybody in
15:43
Speaker 1: your family has larger bodies and you have never been
15:48
Speaker 1: one hundred and twenty pounds in your whole adult life,
15:51
Speaker 1: then you're you're not going to be That's okay, so like,
15:55
Speaker 1: why don't we change our behaviors on how we're doing things,
16:00
Speaker 1: so not so much of this push and pull of
16:02
Speaker 1: like restriction and an allowance and like back and forth,
16:05
Speaker 1: trying to come out as like holistically and just doing
16:08
Speaker 1: things that are better for your body overall. Like let's
16:11
Speaker 1: drink some water, guys, let's eat some vegetables. No one
16:14
Speaker 1: said you can't eat the doritos. Not everything is a problem,
16:17
Speaker 1: Like just because we don't want to eat something because
16:18
Speaker 1: we know that that's not what's good for our body
16:21
Speaker 1: at this time. Like that's all okay, but just need
16:24
Speaker 1: to go back to like being sensible. I don't think
16:26
Speaker 1: that people have sense anymore. It's like a chronic problem
16:29
Speaker 1: in society.
16:30
Speaker 3: Senseless people a chronic problem.
16:32
Speaker 2: I think the dorito's is a good example, though, and
16:35
Speaker 2: we'll shift our conversation a little bit, because so often
16:38
Speaker 2: we demonize certain foods. And I actually really appreciate your
16:43
Speaker 2: approach because you're not only saying don't demonize it, but
16:47
Speaker 2: you're also adding in, like, don't demonize it, but it's
16:51
Speaker 2: also okay to not let yourself eat that.
16:54
Speaker 3: All of the time.
16:55
Speaker 2: I feel like people are kind of polarized in that
16:58
Speaker 2: way of thinking. Pretty often it's like, don't make any
17:01
Speaker 2: food quote unquote bad, and don't quote unquote feel bad
17:05
Speaker 2: about eating it when you want it. But if you're
17:08
Speaker 2: being realistic, realistic about what you want, then it's probably
17:12
Speaker 2: not ideal to like have a portion of French fries
17:16
Speaker 2: every day, right like.
17:18
Speaker 1: Or you and if that's something that you say, oh,
17:20
Speaker 1: it's a non negotiable, I have to have French fries
17:23
Speaker 1: every day. You're like, okay, so how am I going
17:25
Speaker 1: to fit this in? My goal is to maintain my
17:28
Speaker 1: weight within ten pounds, Okay, great, and every single day
17:33
Speaker 1: I have to eat French fries? Okay, great, Well, then
17:35
Speaker 1: we're gonna have to figure that out. Like it's it's
17:39
Speaker 1: not like you know, you probably okay, you can have that,
17:42
Speaker 1: but it's probably gonna be hard to be in line
17:45
Speaker 1: with your goal. So either you're going to shift your
17:47
Speaker 1: goal or you're gonna make a concession. Okay, I don't
17:50
Speaker 1: need to eat the French fries every single day. I'm
17:51
Speaker 1: gonna eat them every other day. Okay, fine, So no
17:54
Speaker 1: one's telling me you can't do it, but you just have
17:56
Speaker 1: to be realistic about what the outcome is going to
17:58
Speaker 1: be so that you're not banging your head against.
18:00
Speaker 3: The wall right right.
18:02
Speaker 2: And so for the person who's hearing this that's thinking like, oh,
18:04
Speaker 2: I can maybe get closer to my goals while eating
18:07
Speaker 2: French fries every other day, and you say accommodating for
18:10
Speaker 2: it or being mindful of how that would integrate into
18:12
Speaker 2: your overall eating style. Can we talk about maybe what
18:15
Speaker 2: you would say to someone who comes to you thinking
18:17
Speaker 2: that way.
18:19
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like so when someone comes in and they're like,
18:21
Speaker 1: I have to have wine every day, Okay, fine, whatever,
18:29
Speaker 1: no problem, and it's not negotiable, like okay, great, that's okay.
18:33
Speaker 1: But then they're like, but I really want to lose
18:35
Speaker 1: weight and I haven't been able to lose weight, and
18:37
Speaker 1: you're like, okay, fine, so the wine is every day.
18:39
Speaker 1: Let's try to see other places where we can do
18:44
Speaker 1: better with how we're eating. So maybe it's like, because
18:47
Speaker 1: you know, everybody's diet could be improved, like maybe you
18:51
Speaker 1: could add more vegetables, maybe you could drink more water, right, Like,
18:54
Speaker 1: maybe maybe you go long periods of time without eating.
18:57
Speaker 1: So like those are the things that I would tackle first,
18:59
Speaker 1: Like I'm going to do all of these things first,
19:02
Speaker 1: to help so that we know we're doing everything we
19:05
Speaker 1: can without anybody losing their mind and not you not
19:07
Speaker 1: giving up the one non negotiable. So we did everything
19:10
Speaker 1: that we could. Like, you're eating like so many vegetables
19:14
Speaker 1: and you're so happy and you're trying new things and
19:16
Speaker 1: fruits and all this stuff, and nothing is happening. Okay,
19:20
Speaker 1: can we try wine every other day? Can we try
19:24
Speaker 1: instead of two glasses of wine at night, one glass
19:26
Speaker 1: of wine a night, Like you're not going to get
19:29
Speaker 1: out of here doing whatever you want. But you came
19:32
Speaker 1: to me saying that you want to lose weight. We've
19:34
Speaker 1: done all of these other things that we're low hanging fruit,
19:37
Speaker 1: nothing changed. If you want to see if we're going
19:40
Speaker 1: to move the needle, then we're the alcohol is the
19:42
Speaker 1: next thing that we're going to take out. So that's
19:44
Speaker 1: usually how I approach it to people with people like
19:47
Speaker 1: you're non negotiable might be the barrier, So let's make
19:51
Speaker 1: some changes here, and then maybe the person's like, okay,
19:53
Speaker 1: I'll do every other day. So then they drink every
19:55
Speaker 1: other day and they lose four pounds and they're like, hey,
19:58
Speaker 1: you know what I okay with every other day and
20:01
Speaker 1: the four pound weight loss. I feel really good and
20:03
Speaker 1: I change my habits. I'm good here and I'm like
20:06
Speaker 1: me too great, So.
20:07
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, right, So just making small changes to get
20:12
Speaker 2: toward where you want to be, while also integrating things
20:17
Speaker 2: that feel important to you. Of course, I also think
20:20
Speaker 2: going back to what you were saying earlier about restriction
20:24
Speaker 2: being something that's not long term. For those that go
20:28
Speaker 2: on a quote unquote diet and they lose whatever amount
20:31
Speaker 2: of weight that they want to lose, what can be
20:34
Speaker 2: the potential dangers of ending that diet.
20:38
Speaker 1: Well, first of all, there's anxiety, right like you're because
20:42
Speaker 1: you're like, Okay, I'm going to go back to eating
20:46
Speaker 1: however I was eating before, right because because in my mind,
20:49
Speaker 1: like I did this diet for a finite amount of time,
20:51
Speaker 1: I got to my goal. I achieved the goal, so
20:53
Speaker 1: I'm just going to be like balls to the walls,
20:55
Speaker 1: like hey, I'm just going to do whatever I want.
20:57
Speaker 1: So then the weight starts to creep back up, and
21:00
Speaker 1: so then you feel like stressed out, so you either
21:05
Speaker 1: start to have like patterns that are very disordered right
21:08
Speaker 1: to get back down to where you work because you're like, oh,
21:11
Speaker 1: I can't go back, or you go the entire other
21:14
Speaker 1: way and you're just like, well, fuck this, I'm gonna
21:16
Speaker 1: do whatever I want and then maybe end up gaining
21:19
Speaker 1: more weight than you had before, because like there's just
21:21
Speaker 1: so much mental gymnastics around that. And every time someone
21:25
Speaker 1: comes into my office looking for weight loss, nine times
21:28
Speaker 1: out of ten they don't eat enough food because they've
21:32
Speaker 1: been in this cycle of restricting and then binging and
21:36
Speaker 1: allsu So I'm like, okay, guys, let's go back to
21:39
Speaker 1: eating varied and then let's see where we end up.
21:43
Speaker 1: Because what you're doing isn't working, and it's making you
21:47
Speaker 1: like all you do is think about what you're eating.
21:48
Speaker 1: Everything is around the food that you're putting in your mouth.
21:51
Speaker 1: Where really what should happen is you should just get
21:54
Speaker 1: cues from your body that like, oh, I'm hungry now,
21:56
Speaker 1: and then you should like go and get the food,
21:59
Speaker 1: not like IM gonna eat how I'm gona eat it?
22:00
Speaker 1: Where am I gonna eat it? Where's the food? Who's
22:02
Speaker 1: watching me? Like? This is not the way to live.
22:05
Speaker 2: Right, going back to our words like good and bad foods,
22:11
Speaker 2: it's really hard to break the you know, the thought
22:15
Speaker 2: process that goes into that do you have any advice
22:19
Speaker 2: or takeaways on how to shift the dialogue so we're
22:23
Speaker 2: not completely demonizing entire food groups things, et cetera.
22:28
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, like, for foremost, like we have to
22:30
Speaker 1: acknowledge that how we were raised around food, Like I
22:35
Speaker 1: don't know, I'm forty three, so like anything you know
22:39
Speaker 1: back is your parents were well intended, and everybody was
22:45
Speaker 1: seemingly well intended, but there was always a shame around
22:49
Speaker 1: if somebody was overweight, if they were eating cookies, Like
22:51
Speaker 1: someone's policing what you're eating, don't eat that, don't drink
22:54
Speaker 1: this this, you know, because nobody wants to be quote
22:56
Speaker 1: unquote fat like that. That's just like the messaging that
23:00
Speaker 1: was out there. But now there is a shift, right,
23:02
Speaker 1: Like people are more mindful of the way that they
23:05
Speaker 1: talk about food, and you know, like when I talk
23:07
Speaker 1: about food with my kids, I'm not like, oh, this
23:09
Speaker 1: is a good food, this is a bad food. I'll
23:11
Speaker 1: be like, okay, this is fine, but can somebody adds
23:13
Speaker 1: some protein. I don't care what the protein looks like,
23:15
Speaker 1: because I'm just tired of everyone asking me for food
23:17
Speaker 1: all the time. I'm always at the grocery store spending
23:20
Speaker 1: money on groceries because you people are just constantly eating,
23:23
Speaker 1: or if you just added some protein into this, we
23:25
Speaker 1: would be full for longer. So they get that right,
23:28
Speaker 1: they're like, okay, like I'm gonna have an egg, I'm
23:30
Speaker 1: going to have a chicken here, and like whatever else.
23:33
Speaker 1: So I think that when you start to understand how
23:37
Speaker 1: food affects your body and get educated on that, that
23:41
Speaker 1: can give you a little bit of freedom. Also, if
23:43
Speaker 1: you try, like okay, you're restricting and then you're binging
23:46
Speaker 1: your and you see the scale up and down, up
23:48
Speaker 1: and down, up and down, and then you say yourself,
23:49
Speaker 1: you know what, this week, I'm just going to eat
23:52
Speaker 1: my meals and I'm not gonna have any charge around
23:56
Speaker 1: the meal that I'm eating. I'm just gonna eat it.
23:58
Speaker 1: I'm gonna eat what I want when I want, and
24:01
Speaker 1: stop what I want. Eventually, then you start to see
24:05
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, like, oh I'm not overeating. Oh the
24:09
Speaker 1: scale hasn't gone up. Oh, so like that was an
24:12
Speaker 1: exercise and I was okay, so now I can try
24:15
Speaker 1: the next thing. Right, you have to be willing, and
24:17
Speaker 1: sometimes that's very hard. So maybe you need therapy, Maybe
24:20
Speaker 1: you need a dietician. Maybe you need a combination, but
24:23
Speaker 1: you might just need to lean on people to help
24:26
Speaker 1: you navigate through that, especially if the noise around how
24:29
Speaker 1: you talk about food to yourself is always loud and
24:32
Speaker 1: always not nice. Probably need some extra help.
24:36
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's that common saying talk to yourself like
24:39
Speaker 2: you would a loved one. I've certainly gone through phases,
24:42
Speaker 2: as I'm sure many people listening to this right now,
24:44
Speaker 2: and maybe even you yourself, when it comes to food
24:47
Speaker 2: and talking about food, where I'm like just so heavily
24:50
Speaker 2: criticizing my decisions, my food choices, and I don't think
24:54
Speaker 2: that anyone is independent of that.
24:57
Speaker 3: I feel like it's something that we all go through.
24:59
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, you're like, oh, I shouldn't have had that,
25:02
Speaker 1: But like, I mean why, Like, no big deal. Who
25:04
Speaker 1: cares that you had the McDonald's cheeseburger. It was a cheeseburger.
25:09
Speaker 1: It's one meal. Just like acknowledge it and move on.
25:11
Speaker 1: Like when people come to me and they're like, oh,
25:12
Speaker 1: I was really bad this weekend. My friends came into
25:15
Speaker 1: town on Friday and we went out to dinner and
25:17
Speaker 1: I had wine and I had dessert, and you know,
25:20
Speaker 1: it was a whole thing and I'm like, okay, but
25:23
Speaker 1: did you enjoy the time with your friends or were
25:25
Speaker 1: you sitting around thinking about how you were bad eating
25:28
Speaker 1: this food? Because if you're engaged with your friends and
25:31
Speaker 1: your family and you're having a good time, I don't
25:33
Speaker 1: really want you thinking about the food you should or
25:35
Speaker 1: shouldn't be eating, Like then you're wasting a moment and
25:38
Speaker 1: people that resonates with people when you say that, like,
25:42
Speaker 1: so then that helps you make choices, Like you know,
25:44
Speaker 1: around the holidays, everyone's like what should I do around
25:46
Speaker 1: the holidays? Like, oh my gosh, there's all these parties
25:49
Speaker 1: all the time, and I end up getting weight And
25:50
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, do you need to go out on
25:52
Speaker 1: Tuesday night with your coworkers and drink a bottle of tequila?
25:57
Speaker 1: Like you don't, like you could say no to the park.
26:00
Speaker 1: It's not like your best friend that you haven't seen
26:02
Speaker 1: in five years came into town that of course I
26:05
Speaker 1: want to enjoy that time with that person, Like, no problem.
26:09
Speaker 1: But if every single night there's a client dinner, there's
26:11
Speaker 1: a work dinner, there's those things get old and so fine,
26:14
Speaker 1: maybe you have to show your face, but you don't
26:16
Speaker 1: have to like deeply participate in every single thing. Those
26:19
Speaker 1: are ways for you to make concessions without it being
26:22
Speaker 1: like such a heavy lift.
26:24
Speaker 2: Or be honest with yourself that you want to be
26:26
Speaker 2: involved in these things. But being involved doesn't mean that
26:29
Speaker 2: you also need to drink the bottle of tequila.
26:32
Speaker 1: You know.
26:33
Speaker 2: Finding swaps that may make you feel better in your
26:36
Speaker 2: body in the long term instead of like some sort
26:38
Speaker 2: of instant gratification moment is going to be something that pays.
26:41
Speaker 3: Off in the long term.
26:44
Speaker 2: But again, that can be super hard when you're in
26:46
Speaker 2: the moment and everyone around you is on like their
26:49
Speaker 2: unfortunate twelfth shot.
26:51
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, or like it's funny. In my apartment building,
26:56
Speaker 1: we only have like eleven units and we're all like
26:58
Speaker 1: original owners, and so we're all like friends, and we'll
27:00
Speaker 1: go out to dinner, and we always go out to dinner,
27:02
Speaker 1: like on a Tuesday. It's always a Tuesday, And so
27:04
Speaker 1: you're outt to dinner and they'll be like drinking or whatever,
27:07
Speaker 1: and they're like, you're not going to have a drink.
27:08
Speaker 1: I'm like, guys, it's Tuesday. I just I just want
27:11
Speaker 1: to go home and go to sleep. Also, you're making
27:13
Speaker 1: me eat dinner at seven thirty at night. This is
27:15
Speaker 1: like recipe for heartburn and disaster.
27:17
Speaker 3: So no thanks, you're looking my language.
27:20
Speaker 2: I'm like in bed at nine o'clock, person, So dinner
27:23
Speaker 2: at seven thirty is pushing it for me too, totally so.
27:27
Speaker 1: And it's so funny because you know, they're like, okay,
27:29
Speaker 1: And the last time we went out to dinner with them,
27:31
Speaker 1: one of them was like, I always have so much
27:32
Speaker 1: fun with you, and you're always sober and I'm always
27:35
Speaker 1: drunk and you make me laugh so much. And I'm like, yeah,
27:39
Speaker 1: because it's Tuesday, Meredith's.
27:41
Speaker 3: Funny how this happens for us.
27:43
Speaker 2: And that's the last thing that I think we should
27:46
Speaker 2: talk about here, and that is establishing personal boundaries and
27:49
Speaker 2: getting honest with yourself because I do feel as though
27:52
Speaker 2: a lot of the choices that we make around food,
27:54
Speaker 2: whether it is things that we're going to split at
27:57
Speaker 2: the table or maybe having that other drink, really those
28:00
Speaker 2: choices are you trying to make someone else happy or
28:04
Speaker 2: to try to avoid a situation where you have to
28:07
Speaker 2: explain yourself or move from a place.
28:10
Speaker 3: Of like being on the defensive.
28:12
Speaker 2: So for someone who hears that and they're like, yes,
28:14
Speaker 2: actually hearing you say. That makes me realize that a
28:16
Speaker 2: lot of the times I'm making choices around my food,
28:18
Speaker 2: I am doing so kind of to please other people,
28:21
Speaker 2: to be a people pleaser.
28:22
Speaker 3: What do you say to them?
28:23
Speaker 2: How do they get more comfortable owning their decisions so
28:26
Speaker 2: that again, in the long term, they feel more happy, content,
28:30
Speaker 2: comfortable with where they move from from there?
28:33
Speaker 1: Totally, I mean, there is so much power in no,
28:37
Speaker 1: Like what is going to happen if you say no?
28:39
Speaker 1: Like sorry, no, or not even sorry. My cousin's always like,
28:43
Speaker 1: don't say sorry. That means it's like a problem. It's
28:45
Speaker 1: not a problem, that's your choice. So just say no. No,
28:49
Speaker 1: I'm not doing that. No. No, I don't like to drink.
28:52
Speaker 1: I don't like it. It disrupts my sleep, It gives
28:54
Speaker 1: me anxiety, it makes me depressed in the morning. I
28:57
Speaker 1: don't like drinking. I don't ask you why you are drinking,
28:59
Speaker 1: so leave me alone. I don't ask you why you
29:01
Speaker 1: don't want to have that piece of cake? Like, of
29:03
Speaker 1: course I'll offer somebody something like, oh, are you gonna
29:06
Speaker 1: have some You're gonna have dessert? No, I'm okay, okay, fine,
29:08
Speaker 1: like move on, Like everybody has a choice. And everybody
29:14
Speaker 1: doesn't have to conform to what you want. So also,
29:18
Speaker 1: like you as the you know, why aren't you drinking?
29:20
Speaker 1: Why aren't you eating dessert? Why aren't you That's also
29:23
Speaker 1: not okay, right, Like everybody needs to have their boundaries,
29:26
Speaker 1: everybody's to respect other people. Don't do anything that you
29:30
Speaker 1: are going to resent yourself or someone else for later.
29:35
Speaker 1: So like, just do only what makes you happy.
29:37
Speaker 3: Do only what makes you happy.
29:40
Speaker 1: I ask you that no one cares about your happiness,
29:43
Speaker 1: but you only you care about your happiness.
29:47
Speaker 2: Well, I think that this was super interesting and I
29:51
Speaker 2: really appreciate this whole sentiment. I think it's something that
29:54
Speaker 2: since when I was younger I losing weight. I have
29:58
Speaker 2: now kept off a weight loss for a very long time,
30:01
Speaker 2: over ten years, and doing that for me is a
30:04
Speaker 2: big part of this diets aren't for me thing, figuring
30:08
Speaker 2: out how to live my lifestyle in a way that
30:09
Speaker 2: feels comfortable and functional for me, embracing my no and
30:14
Speaker 2: so many things that we talked about today. So super
30:16
Speaker 2: grateful for your input here today, Vanessa. How do the
30:19
Speaker 2: hurdlers keep up with you? How do they follow along
30:21
Speaker 2: with you? For more hot takes?
30:23
Speaker 3: Give us your info.
30:25
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can follow me at Vanessa rossetto rd or
30:28
Speaker 1: Colina Health, and you can book appointments with us at
30:31
Speaker 1: coleinahealth dot com.
30:33
Speaker 2: Beautiful I'm Over at Emila Baddie and at Hurdle Podcast
30:37
Speaker 2: Another Hurdle Conquered.
30:39
Speaker 3: Catch you guys next time