Latest / Go Wildly Podcast / Ep. 16 | Wildly Us: How to Have a Summer So Feral it Needs a Debrief Episode

Transcript

Ep. 16 | Wildly Us: How to Have a Summer So Feral it Needs a Debrief Episode · Go Wildly Podcast

• 0:00
  Welcome, welcome, Wildly wonders.
• 0:02
  This is episode 16 of the Go Wildly podcast, and this is the
• 0:06
  first ever true Wildly Us episode, a new seasonal series
• 0:11
  where it's just the two of us catching up, reflecting, and
• 0:14
  letting you in a little deeper behind the mics.
• 0:17
  Think of these episodes like sitting around a campfire with
• 0:20
  your bestie after a long summer of living wildly.
• 0:23
  In this one, we're debriefing our summer Emilyn days guiding
• 0:26
  on the river. Heathers Real Estate.
• 0:28
  Roller coaster, big life shifts, little joys, and all the messy
• 0:33
  magical in betweens. These episodes are meant to be
• 0:36
  light, real, full of heart, and a way for you to get to know us
• 0:40
  a little bit more intimately. We'll be sprinkling these in at
• 0:43
  the close of each season as a little time capsule of where
• 0:46
  we've been, what we've learned, and what is next.
• 0:49
  So buckle up and here we go. OK, so much going on.
• 1:00
  Yeah, so. Much is going on I.
• 1:04
  Feel like I have barely seen you all summer long.
• 1:07
  I know. And now we're.
• 1:09
  That's my side actually. You're right.
• 1:17
  You are right. We have.
• 1:18
  Sides, yeah. I got this.
• 1:20
  Oh, OK, You turned it good. Yep.
• 1:24
  All right. Do you want your food?
• 1:26
  Yeah, I'd love my my yogurt and my water probably would be
• 1:30
  really nice. Oh my gosh.
• 1:31
  A little bit of sand in here. I feel, you know, obviously I
• 1:37
  feel very connected to you, but I've over the summer I felt very
• 1:40
  disconnected to you. We had a lot going.
• 1:43
  You had a lot going on, but so did I Just like way different
• 1:46
  worlds. Yeah, dude, you became a fucking
• 1:49
  real estate agent this summer. I feel like I'm still becoming.
• 1:56
  Well, yeah, absolutely. But you, you passed your exam,
• 2:00
  you got the title, you're employed at an agency.
• 2:05
  I mean, like, you're what? However it works, I don't
• 2:08
  fucking know, but you are. You are a licensed broker.
• 2:14
  I know. And you had your first open
• 2:17
  house last weekend. Was that last weekend?
• 2:21
  I think it was 2 weeks ago. I had my official first this
• 2:24
  weekend. Official.
• 2:25
  Two of them back-to-back. That was just like a practice
• 2:27
  round well. It was Co hosted so she was like
• 2:30
  showing me the ropes or whatever and then now I'm like going to
• 2:32
  be there solely like she's not going to be there.
• 2:34
  OK, cool. Yeah, it's one of those.
• 2:37
  But then you even you were like just gone, living in another
• 2:42
  world essentially. Yeah, it did really feel like I
• 2:45
  was in another world and. Plane of existence.
• 2:50
  Yeah, there were so many, so many people.
• 2:53
  And well, really, I mean, I think I prefaced the summer with
• 2:58
  the people who were most active in my life.
• 3:00
  I prefaced the summer with like, hey, I'm not going to be
• 3:03
  available for communication or in person or anything.
• 3:09
  Like don't need me over these 789 weeks because I'm not
• 3:15
  available. I'm not available.
• 3:16
  Yeah. I mean, we've definitely planned
• 3:18
  for that. Yeah.
• 3:19
  And I feel like it went off without a hitch.
• 3:20
  It went off great. Yeah.
• 3:22
  We really did good bulking out our recordings.
• 3:26
  And for maybe somebody that doesn't know or has aspirations
• 3:30
  to do podcasts, we, we, there is a party happening behind.
• 3:37
  US. We bulk recorded all spring and
• 3:40
  just like, even though it pissed Sean off for me to be like, Oh
• 3:44
  yeah, I have another podcast recording, He was just like,
• 3:47
  what the fuck? We didn't do it all summer, so
• 3:50
  he can. Yeah, hopefully.
• 3:51
  Did he. I really hope that he did
• 3:53
  recognize like, oh, OK, that was what that work was for was so
• 3:57
  that there could be no work essentially.
• 4:00
  I mean, you were still doing editing and producing, but there
• 4:03
  weren't long days being taken up with the active Timmy recording.
• 4:10
  Jimmy, go swim. Hey swim.
• 4:16
  Thank you. And hopefully we'll be doing
• 4:21
  that again. Yeah, totally.
• 4:23
  No, I think it's way more. I bet it'll be a lot more
• 4:26
  relaxed. Yeah, I mean, even in this small
• 4:31
  period of time that we have between the end of summer and my
• 4:35
  next big adventure away, we're not.
• 4:38
  We don't even have a whole lot of days available to do
• 4:41
  recording. So there will be few and far
• 4:43
  between, but they'll be when we do find a day, it's going to be
• 4:46
  a long day. It's.
• 4:47
  Going to be a long day, yeah? Or or it's still going to be a
• 4:50
  good amount of me doing solo recordings with folks.
• 4:56
  Over here. Come on man, over here.
• 4:59
  Just one swipe. Jimmy already butt biffed the
• 5:02
  camera. Right here.
• 5:04
  Look at me, I'm all heightened. Thank you.
• 5:06
  No, let me chill dude. Get more.
• 5:11
  Get more flies with honey than vinegar curl.
• 5:16
  It's been all vinegar lately, Whitney.
• 5:18
  Why? I'm just.
• 5:20
  I just got a lot going on. Yeah, You know, there's just a
• 5:22
  lot like I'm just like stacking it.
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  I think the, the working at the restaurants are really like I,
• 5:29
  it's necessary because I really need the money, but also and I
• 5:35
  really, I actually really enjoy it.
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  Like I hit flow state when I'm working because like there is no
• 5:42
  time there is. No, Let them have a good time,
• 5:48
  Heather. I don't know.
• 5:50
  There is no everyone's. Allowed to have fun.
• 5:55
  They're not in our space. They're not bothering us.
• 6:00
  Tune them out. I'll try.
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  How about you? You guys can also tune them out.
• 6:07
  They can't hear everything that we can hear, and sometimes they
• 6:11
  can hear things we can't hear, so.
• 6:13
  I totally. There have been so many times
• 6:15
  where I'm listening to the podcast and we're like talking
• 6:17
  shit about the wind and, and I'm not hearing any wind coming
• 6:21
  through and I'm like, yeah, we just just stay present in
• 6:26
  ourselves. Whatever is happening around us
• 6:28
  is irrelevant. Well, I am on my, like, first
• 6:32
  real day of my period, so everything's kind of like
• 6:34
  getting to me a little bit, you know?
• 6:35
  It's just that season. You're bristled.
• 6:38
  Yeah, I'm just like in that right now, but.
• 6:42
  Yeah, but being in the restaurant work, yeah, there's
• 6:44
  no time for other distractions. And you can't, can't look at
• 6:47
  your phone, can't look at somebody else's bullshit.
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  It's just. I love it fully present.
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  I really like weirdly, oddly, I'm like, I really love this
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  work. I make great money.
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  It's totally like a flow state thing.
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  I don't think about any of my problems.
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  So it's really it's really cool and not aspect, but yeah, do I
• 7:04
  want to do it four days a week? Fuck no dude.
• 7:06
  No. I feel like I have zero time, so
• 7:09
  I got to like scale that back a little bit.
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  Yeah, because like. So.
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  It's nice to be busy, it's nice to have that income, but if it's
• 7:17
  at the expense of your mental health and well-being and it's
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  not. Really.
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  Happiness. It's just a lot of moving parts
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  and that in and of itself is like a lot to manage, which is
• 7:30
  stressful. So it's not necessarily the work
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  that's stressful. It's the moving parts that need
• 7:34
  to happen between it that make it like, not sustainable for me.
• 7:37
  Yeah, yeah, that's all. Yeah, it's not the work, but.
• 7:42
  But that's a component of the work that.
• 7:44
  In a sense, yeah, we'll. Be like at your detriment if you
• 7:47
  don't. Who's taking care of Roscoe?
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  Who's picking him up? Who's doing this?
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  Who's doing that? And then I'm like asking my mom
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  and that kind of stresses me out too.
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  Also also did you see my parents secret TikTok?
• 8:03
  Yes, I have seen your parents. Oh did you turn it back on?
• 8:09
  I have seen your parents secret TikTok channel and I obviously
• 8:15
  think it's great. I think your parents are really
• 8:16
  cool and I hope Oh my. Gosh.
• 8:18
  I hope that they that like you're able to lean into it
• 8:23
  being. Should I move this a little bit?
• 8:26
  Oh sure. What's going on here?
• 8:29
  The things not open all the way. Oh weird.
• 8:33
  Probably wouldn't got knocked though.
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  You know me. I hope that they that you're
• 8:41
  able to like kind of put some of the intention that we have
• 8:44
  coming from this and capture some stories from them.
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  It's like I love their little just like their jokes and their
• 8:52
  banter and just the the realities of their life and like
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  no doubt your parents have cool ass stories.
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  Well, Jimmy over here. I my mom's going to be pissed
• 9:02
  when she finds out why, because she's always like do not record
• 9:05
  me all like from work, all crazy and like smoking her cigarettes.
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  But like, I look at it more towards like, yeah, like keeping
• 9:16
  those memories. Yeah, but if she's going to be
• 9:20
  pissed about it and she won't feel good about.
• 9:23
  She won't if I'm like dude, look how many people are following
• 9:26
  you and she'll be like. Yeah, she'll like that.
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  Or will it be like, I don't want to?
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  I don't care about them, I only care about you?
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  She won't get too upset. Like she'll be like hello,
• 9:36
  Elaine, but it won't be, it won't be that big of a deal
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  anyway. I'm just really, I just think
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  it's funny because like, but it's also like a testing the
• 9:47
  algorithm of Tiktok because they always say like social media,
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  like I'm all into that stuff. Like if you are like literally
• 9:54
  that constantly that what's it called?
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  That type of content Just over like that's all that account
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  does is that type of content. It doesn't make a difference.
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  And it's I feel like one reason like my accounts don't take off
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  is because like, not that they don't take off, they're fine and
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  they're lovely and whatever and great.
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  And I want to be different facets, but like when you are
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  just the one thing over and over and over again, people are like,
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  cool. Yeah.
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  They know that. That's what's predictable and
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  reliable there. They know what to get from that
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  account versus like. But if you think about it,
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  that's what I like to follow too.
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  Some of these two all over the place.
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  You know, it's kind of like in a.
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  Yeah, what am I getting into here?
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  I mean, my my TikTok is anything from fig content to now I've got
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  Asia snake feeding to just general Asia content to lucky
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  pennies to pretty things that I see.
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  What was that? That's just my life.
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  What was that little series that you did when I feel like about
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  your dad on TikTok for a minute and you were getting all deep
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  and stuff? Oh, that was when I was going
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  through like a major like emotional shedding of just like
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  realizing things. I don't know, it was just like
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  feeling, just feeling like emotional.
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  Attraction on those I feel like I don't know.
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  Anyway, it doesn't. Really, I was in a dark, I was
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  in a dark space then, but. You're all the dark.
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  Just needed to like express. Well, tell, tell us, tell, tell
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  us about your summer. Man, Summer was awesome.
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  It was really, really dynamic and beautiful and magical.
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  I mean, I was in the, I was in the Sundance Kayak School in
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  first descent space all summer from the end of June through the
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  end of August. So just over 2 months spending
• 12:07
  most days on the river and hanging out with people learning
• 12:12
  how to kayak or learning how to be on be on the river.
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  But really learning how to navigate life and life's
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  challenges and overcome hard things and do things that are
• 12:26
  scary and, and still do them and be around new people and figure
• 12:32
  out how to Share your story and how much to give and how much to
• 12:37
  receive. And every week that I'm out
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  there on the programs is a different group of participants.
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  It's a different set of staff and different set of
• 12:49
  instructors. So it's all very same, same but
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  different and navigating for me like, OK, this week was really
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  awesome and like this beautiful thing happened and this like
• 13:02
  challenging thing happened and now, OK, it's Friday.
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  I say goodbye to everybody, like, rinse all of that away and
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  come into Sunday prepared for a whole new.
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  I'm listening. Whole new group, whole new set
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  of people and try very hard to not let anything from the black
• 13:23
  past week inform or influence what's happening for this fresh
• 13:27
  week. But also like that's kind of
• 13:28
  inevitable to just like let things have things happen.
• 13:33
  Hi, Honey. Hi, it's one of those days.
• 13:38
  It's good. It's good to be here.
• 13:40
  We need more. We can do this all the time.
• 13:42
  I could. I could take a nap right now.
• 13:46
  I love hearing story. Well, yeah, you have very
• 13:49
  soothing voice. Thanks.
• 13:54
  Yeah, it was cool hearing. Like we got to meet up a couple
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  times throughout the summer and just kind of debrief a little
• 14:02
  bit and that was really great. Super brief debrief.
• 14:05
  Super brief debrief. Like thong brief?
• 14:08
  Yeah, thong thong assless chat. Yeah, debriefing.
• 14:14
  Cuz briefs, underwear, thongs. Yeah, yeah.
• 14:20
  Yeah, yeah. But.
• 14:20
  Super. I mean highlights.
• 14:21
  Yeah, I didn't see other than Asia, right, Right.
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  I didn't see anybody else in my life other than like a couple
• 14:28
  moments of you in passing. And I saw Rihanna one day
• 14:33
  because she happened to be here getting something from Asia when
• 14:36
  I got home from program and was like, oh, hi, wow, it's so good
• 14:41
  that you're here. But otherwise I like didn't see
• 14:44
  anybody all summer other than the people I was working with.
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  They're like amazing, beautiful people.
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  Some of them I already knew and of the like my Co workers, my
• 14:55
  colleagues, some of them I had met on programs last year or the
• 14:59
  year before or was meeting for the first time this year.
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  Just so like cool, fascinating people moment.
• 15:06
  I was able to get 2 podcast episodes out of the people and
• 15:10
  identified over a dozen more that I wanted to record with.
• 15:15
  But time was limited. We gained a ton of new followers
• 15:19
  because Emily was like, yo podcast.
• 15:22
  I got a podcast with my girlfriend like let's do that.
• 15:25
  Yeah, I mean, every every week there's a new group of 1520
• 15:30
  people that want to know what everybody's about.
• 15:33
  And so it's really easy to get new followers and listeners.
• 15:38
  And like that's now new podcast episode got launched today.
• 15:43
  And those are the groups that I texted right away and they're
• 15:46
  already like, listening. Love it.
• 15:48
  Like, cool. Yeah, just what an amazing,
• 15:52
  unique connective place to make friends right away who are ready
• 15:59
  to invest and show up in your life and.
• 16:01
  They're from all over the all over.
• 16:03
  The country and even from Canada.
• 16:05
  Cool. Yeah, and.
• 16:07
  People battling with some sort of cancer diagnosis.
• 16:10
  Yeah, first a sense does oncology programs, Ms. programs,
• 16:16
  multiple sclerosis and you? Got some of those people too.
• 16:19
  I didn't work any Ms. programs this year, but there I worked a
• 16:23
  week that was alumni, so people who had previously participated
• 16:27
  in a First a Sense program of some kind, and there were a
• 16:32
  couple of Ms. participants on there.
• 16:34
  Cool. And then they also do programs
• 16:38
  for healthcare workers, so nurses, doctors, etcetera, and
• 16:43
  also for caregivers. So the people who are helping
• 16:48
  care for the cancer and the Ms. patients.
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  So they'll usually the loved ones, the partners or a parent
• 16:55
  or a child of somebody experiencing cancer or Ms. can
• 17:00
  also come and participate on a program.
• 17:02
  And I didn't get to participate on that the particular caregiver
• 17:05
  program week this year. And I'm, I had, when I heard
• 17:10
  about it, I had such profound FOMO, like I rarely have FOMO,
• 17:15
  but I had, I already experienced FOMO when I'm not on program
• 17:19
  because I love being there so much.
• 17:21
  And then when I heard about this particular week, I, I so
• 17:27
  strongly, I was a caregiver. And so I really, really want to
• 17:33
  be engaged in a caregiver week. I don't qualify to participate
• 17:40
  as a caregiver because the person I cared for was older
• 17:43
  than the age range that they allow for, so I can't go as a
• 17:49
  caregiver participant. I could go on a caregiver
• 17:52
  program as a volunteer or be one of the instructors.
• 17:56
  Getting paid on these schools, That's, that's awesome.
• 17:59
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 18:00
  So it's, well, it's helpful. Yeah.
• 18:01
  Oh, yeah. I mean, it's regardless of the
• 18:04
  pay. I know, but but pay helps when
• 18:07
  Yeah, I would otherwise be taking time away from other
• 18:11
  forms of work that that can just be my form of work and it's
• 18:16
  filling in in every way. Like the money is a bonus.
• 18:20
  To you and that like being on the working on the river, I feel
• 18:24
  like maybe one day I'll get to the point where I can like do
• 18:27
  more. Maybe not maybe not work on the
• 18:30
  river, but enjoy the record more.
• 18:34
  I feel like I had high hopes for the summer and I definitely hit
• 18:37
  some of my like bucket list summer goals.
• 18:40
  But there was. But then once work started I was
• 18:42
  like. Well you went from having no
• 18:44
  jobs to other than parenting to like 4 jobs in.
• 18:50
  Like within a week, yeah, Like it was, it's been a lot, but
• 18:54
  it's also like I've been without a job for so long and like not
• 18:58
  really doing much and and just being mom and maybe doing some
• 19:02
  projects here and there. But like, like projects meaning
• 19:05
  like money making type of projects, but still like very
• 19:08
  low totem bull projects low on the totem pole 2 All of a sudden
• 19:14
  having so I did that. I had no job for so long and
• 19:17
  then all of a sudden I'm having so much job.
• 19:19
  And I feel like this is going to sound like silly and weird, but
• 19:22
  like today, like starting my period, I started at midday
• 19:26
  yesterday, but today I'm like feel like it's my first.
• 19:29
  I think my first or second period sounds funny for all of
• 19:35
  our male listeners. Sorry.
• 19:38
  But like I'm doing this work and I'm feeling the weight of it.
• 19:41
  Like this is really when like, you know, you slow down and you
• 19:45
  have like your hibernation and stuff.
• 19:47
  Like we mentioned the red tint up there.
• 19:49
  It's like totally like I'm feeling that right now.
• 19:51
  So it's just like a lot right now.
• 19:54
  That that concept has been coming up.
• 19:57
  Maybe I'm the one bringing it. I am definitely the one bringing
• 19:59
  it up. But this summer it has come up
• 20:02
  several times around women and men that I'm interacting with
• 20:07
  OF. Like how much our energy is
• 20:11
  depleted and focused on uterine lining shedding and how
• 20:17
  challenging it is to do other work and to show up.
• 20:21
  Fully. Attentive and present for the
• 20:24
  jobs and the duties. And what a what a disservice
• 20:30
  humanity has done to women to say keep operating at 100% even
• 20:36
  when your body is operating at 20%.
• 20:40
  Yeah. And if we could just go back to
• 20:42
  red tent days where there's a designated place that
• 20:47
  menstruating women can go and bleed and be around others who
• 20:53
  are feeling the same way and have no pressure and no
• 20:56
  obligations and just do what our bodies are naturally supposed to
• 21:01
  be doing. And like how much better then
• 21:05
  we'd be able to come back into our our work and our families
• 21:08
  and integrate without this like resentment and frustration of I.
• 21:12
  Hear there's some other countries that implement some
• 21:15
  sort of like few days off for menstrual like because it's not
• 21:20
  the whole week. It's really like the first three
• 21:22
  days is when I feel my most like I just want to like chill and
• 21:26
  like not do and drain my brain. But and then I'm and then I
• 21:32
  start to do it for real. And then I want to just like get
• 21:36
  going on the next like that's plenty like I need to now get
• 21:39
  going on like thinking like building the plan for the next
• 21:42
  month, my new month coming up. Technically, yeah.
• 21:46
  With your new moon. Well, I like to every year I'm
• 21:51
  like, my new year is on my birthday.
• 21:52
  It's not on the New Year's. Like, I don't, you know, like,
• 21:56
  yeah, I made some New Year's resolutions, but really, it's my
• 21:58
  birthday. It's my year.
• 22:00
  That I start like a fresh thought, fresh plan anyway.
• 22:06
  Should do that around my period. Yeah, yeah.
• 22:08
  Be interested. Each month.
• 22:10
  Because that's really what. I wish my.
• 22:12
  Following those natural cycles of my credit.
• 22:15
  Card bill could follow that. There you go.
• 22:17
  I guess you could set it up, but my period doesn't.
• 22:19
  My period's every 32 days so. It kind of wow, you have a long
• 22:22
  cycle. Long cycle.
• 22:24
  Nice. Probably why I'm so fertile.
• 22:27
  I'm so fertile. That's crazy.
• 22:29
  Oh well, you do have two two babes.
• 22:33
  Two babes that we're not planned.
• 22:34
  Yeah, love them anyways. Oh yeah, they're great.
• 22:38
  They're meant to be here. Yeah, definitely.
• 22:41
  We're called then. And Roscoe just had a birthday.
• 22:44
  Yeah. Happy birthing day.
• 22:46
  Thank you. Well.
• 22:47
  Is he 3 now 2? 222.
• 22:50
  Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, he was cut out of
• 22:53
  you, but you still grew him and produced him.
• 22:59
  You're right. And then I was just going to be
• 23:01
  like, did you see that video? But we literally just, we
• 23:03
  talked. About that, I mean we didn't
• 23:04
  talk about it on camera, but yes, I did see the video of him
• 23:06
  crying Well, you see he. Was very he was very triggered
• 23:10
  when we when we sung him happy birthday.
• 23:12
  Yeah, I wonder why that is. Why do people, why do young
• 23:16
  children get so triggered by it and then grow up to hate it?
• 23:19
  Also I. Don't feel like Cruz ever cried
• 23:21
  like that, but. Did he just run away and hide?
• 23:24
  No, he just, he got excited. He's like me.
• 23:32
  Roscoe's like no attention. Yeah, he's pretty.
• 23:35
  He's like Sean, like. Well, he is Sean's kid, yeah.
• 23:40
  Whereas, yeah, Sam's kid is a little bit more.
• 23:42
  Look at me, look at me, look at me.
• 23:45
  Yeah. Makes a lot of sense.
• 23:48
  But I also feel like we had a really hot, like a long, it felt
• 23:52
  like a really long hot summer. So like I wasn't out hiking.
• 23:55
  Usually I go out hiking fairly often, but once summer hits
• 23:58
  that's not really hiking weather unless you're like up in the
• 24:00
  Cascades or somewhere. Yeah, or out on the coast, even.
• 24:03
  Yeah, and so like. Here in the Valley, Nah.
• 24:06
  Yeah. Maybe like Sunrise, Table Rock
• 24:10
  or McLaughlin, but. Like an early, early morning or
• 24:14
  something. But yeah, so I've been in
• 24:16
  dormant. So I just haven't been like I
• 24:18
  haven't been going wildly outside really a lot because I'm
• 24:23
  going to start again with going on hikes.
• 24:26
  So just like after work hikes because I have like a little bit
• 24:29
  of like weird time in between. And the weather's so much more
• 24:33
  pleasant. Oh my.
• 24:34
  Gosh, yeah. I mean, it's going to be like a
• 24:36
  high of 80 today instead of 100 and.
• 24:38
  Eight yeah, so I've just been just been doing that, but that's
• 24:45
  I didn't do any. I wanted to get down the river,
• 24:47
  but I not necessarily the lower Rd. but just like rafting.
• 24:51
  We just didn't have any time. Yeah, I think next year I'm
• 24:55
  going to prepare. Yeah.
• 24:59
  I just pulled a little nature tarot card Oracle card and it
• 25:04
  said to. The nature wardens.
• 25:06
  Yeah, to prepare for winter and then you will, you will enjoy
• 25:11
  the fruits of your labor, like your preparation and labor like
• 25:14
  later on. And I'm like, yeah, hopefully
• 25:17
  next year. Did I say that?
• 25:18
  Do I say that every year? I feel like every year gets
• 25:21
  better. I don't know.
• 25:22
  I don't know. Every year does get better.
• 25:23
  I mean, I feel I was saying this to Asia the other day that I
• 25:25
  feel like, I mean, it all become, it's all what you pay
• 25:30
  attention to that that you notice more of.
• 25:33
  But I feel like collectively, like every year kind of society
• 25:38
  has been getting a little bit worse, but me individually has
• 25:43
  been getting better because I'm focusing on what I need and what
• 25:47
  makes me happy and what I want to see in my life.
• 25:51
  So, and that's kind of in response to the general societal
• 25:55
  decline. Like I don't want my life to
• 25:58
  look like that. So I'm going to do more for me
• 26:00
  that gets me where I want to be, what I want to see myself doing
• 26:04
  next summer and beyond. Yeah.
• 26:08
  Yeah, I was talking with one of my cleaning clients the other
• 26:12
  day and a friend. She'd be nice to have on here.
• 26:14
  That probably be a nice chat about really embracing the
• 26:19
  seasonal shift and leaning into autumn, leaning into winter
• 26:25
  feeling just embracing the cooler weather, the shorter
• 26:29
  days, the hibernation and that. I did that last year really
• 26:34
  intentionally for the first time and I really did feel like I
• 26:39
  enjoyed the season so much more. I didn't give myself any guilt
• 26:44
  or shame about like laying down when it got dark, like that's
• 26:51
  when the day is over. Like it is natural for for us to
• 26:57
  feel those seasonal shifts so that I felt so much more
• 26:59
  prepared coming into summer and what I knew was going to be a
• 27:03
  crazy intense summer. Like I had hibernated and and
• 27:08
  stored up my energy to be able to fully send it over the
• 27:13
  summer. Yeah, and I wish I could do
• 27:15
  that. Yeah, my life's very different
• 27:17
  from yours. Yeah, I wish I could do that,
• 27:19
  but like whenever I don't, whenever I'm, I'd even take a
• 27:23
  measly day off like I took 1/2 day yesterday.
• 27:26
  I went and had coffee with a friend and did a few little
• 27:30
  things that I like wrapping up a couple things that were on my
• 27:34
  mountain of to do's and then I just like start my period.
• 27:39
  And so I just like laid in bed and kind of went in and out of
• 27:42
  sleep a little bit and Sean was next to me because it was his
• 27:44
  Sunday, so it was really nice. But whenever I do that, if it's
• 27:48
  more than just that amount of time, I feel I'm I like shame
• 27:54
  myself for it. I guilt got a lot for.
• 27:56
  It you got to let that go. Because like I'm like constantly
• 27:59
  I have to reformulate my brain somehow for that I'm telling
• 28:02
  you, like maybe some therapy work or something.
• 28:05
  Because like every time, every time I make a list of things
• 28:12
  that I need to do for the day, I make too big of a list and only
• 28:16
  a little bit gets done. Which I know that I should only
• 28:19
  be like focusing on three tasks but like I'm constantly over
• 28:24
  projecting and under producing. I have this conversation with
• 28:28
  Hot Pants, our most recent episode of Under from Under
• 28:35
  Commit and over Purdue over like whatever the fucking phrase is,
• 28:41
  but like. I know exactly.
• 28:43
  Under promise and over produce, yeah, because deliver.
• 28:46
  Over deliver. Yeah, like because the
• 28:49
  disappointment that you have to do feel, yes, exactly like.
• 28:54
  I do that. Do that for yourself under under
• 28:58
  promise and over produce, and then you'll be so proud of
• 29:02
  yourself. And I like this little hack
• 29:05
  where if you do something that wasn't on your To Do List, but
• 29:08
  you still did it, write it on your To Do List and check it
• 29:10
  off. You still did it.
• 29:12
  It doesn't discount all the other things that you didn't do.
• 29:15
  You still did that. And that still deserves credit
• 29:17
  and celebration and acknowledgement and yeah, and
• 29:20
  those other things that you don't get done, well, maybe they
• 29:24
  just weren't as vital or as important or as exciting to do
• 29:27
  that day. They can move to another day.
• 29:29
  I think I just also have some childhood trauma of like being
• 29:32
  called lazy. Yeah, when maybe I was learning
• 29:35
  laziness versus productivity in school and all the things that
• 29:40
  like I just hear my my dad still to this day being like, don't be
• 29:45
  lazy. Well, no, I'm just like you're
• 29:47
  a. Woman and there should be
• 29:50
  reasonable a reasonable amount of different expectations to
• 29:53
  your level of productivity from a man's.
• 29:57
  Yeah, I actually funny you should say that.
• 30:00
  I asked Sean. I was all how did it go down?
• 30:03
  Was it yesterday or the day before?
• 30:06
  It might have been Sunday, I can't remember.
• 30:08
  It regardless doesn't matter. I was doing something very, I
• 30:14
  can't remember what I was doing instead.
• 30:16
  Oh yeah, I went grocery shopping and that was something that like
• 30:19
  legit needed to happen, but I couldn't do.
• 30:23
  I couldn't go grocery shopping and mop the floor at the same
• 30:26
  time. So I was like, hey, babe, I need
• 30:29
  to go grocery shopping. Do you mind like mopping the
• 30:31
  floor? Like I just vacuumed it might
• 30:34
  you might need to like take the broom because there's actually
• 30:37
  like rocks that the vacuum won't pick up because of the dogs
• 30:39
  carry them in their paws inside. But anyway, I was like, I was
• 30:46
  like, can you do that? And I'm I'm going to go
• 30:48
  shopping. And he was like, I guess, you
• 30:52
  know, like kind of gave me a little bit of like a turdy
• 30:55
  response and I was just like, OK, for next time I asked you to
• 30:59
  do like I asked you for help. Like how should I ask you for
• 31:03
  help? Because like every time I do ask
• 31:05
  you for help, you give me kind of like a shamy response and
• 31:09
  like I would. Like it's asking too much of
• 31:11
  him. Yeah, and that like I need to be
• 31:14
  the one doing it. And I'm just like, I don't know.
• 31:18
  So we need to actually reopen that back up because like I by
• 31:22
  his response of being like, well, I guess it makes me feel
• 31:27
  like, well then what the fuck? Like you also you're the one
• 31:33
  that wears shoes in the house. Now I'm getting into a fence
• 31:35
  session which I don't want to get into.
• 31:36
  He doesn't. He doesn't.
• 31:38
  Listen to this. So fuck him but still.
• 31:42
  But. His friends might.
• 31:44
  People tell them than friends but anyway, yeah so cuz I don't
• 31:50
  like you, I take my shoes off when I go into the house usually
• 31:54
  or like like it within my first few minutes.
• 31:58
  So it's like, dude, you are also wearing your shoes in the house
• 32:01
  like you're contributing to this fucking and it's.
• 32:04
  A. It's a shared house, there
• 32:07
  should be a reasonable expectation that there are
• 32:11
  shared duties in the cleaning of the house.
• 32:15
  And I mean I have lots of opinions on Co housing and
• 32:24
  relationships and the division of power and responsibilities.
• 32:29
  And I'm a single divorced woman, so my opinions may not apply to.
• 32:36
  Right. Every situation anyway.
• 32:38
  Regardless, he mopped, which, great.
• 32:41
  I've been learning to like, I just kind of had an epiphany
• 32:44
  too. Not just, but like yesterday I
• 32:46
  was like, well, if I get that response, I need to not let it
• 32:50
  affect me because I'm probably gonna get that response 80% of
• 32:53
  the time from him. So I need to learn to be like,
• 32:56
  so this is I just like walked out the door and thinking to
• 32:58
  myself, yeah, bitch, you do it. I'm not like you do it for once.
• 33:02
  When was the last time you fucking mopped?
• 33:04
  I think. So that a lot of.
• 33:06
  The the issues that come from relationships and these kinds of
• 33:11
  dynamics is the attachment to their response and expecting
• 33:17
  something that hasn't been discussed and like agreed upon
• 33:22
  as an expectation that you can both share.
• 33:24
  And that their, that their response is taken personally as
• 33:29
  like an attack on you and your abilities and your contribution
• 33:34
  and your worthiness versus yeah, just saying, I'm going grocery
• 33:37
  shopping. The floor needs to be mopped.
• 33:40
  I need you to mop it. I'll be back and leave and like
• 33:43
  just don't make it. Well of.
• 33:45
  Course I go a point of contention.
• 33:47
  Just here's what needs to be done.
• 33:49
  I'm out. I actually need.
• 33:50
  To go do the other thing that needs to be.
• 33:51
  Done. I actually did it more in like a
• 33:53
  hey, so I'm going to go grocery shopping and I was going to mop
• 34:00
  but I can't do both at the same time.
• 34:03
  Can you mop? So you take pity on you, Yeah.
• 34:08
  I'm trying different angles every time I ask, like for help.
• 34:11
  But anyway, I'm like, I'll try it, this angle this time I'll
• 34:14
  try which one gets me the most. Like I'm like testing it out
• 34:18
  instead of testing the algorithm, yeah.
• 34:20
  You're testing his algorithm? Yeah, dude, instead of yeah,
• 34:22
  that question of like, hey, when I, when I need you to take
• 34:26
  action in the house on something domestic, how do you want to be
• 34:30
  asked? Right, but also he I do need to
• 34:32
  give him credit where credit's due and he has been really like
• 34:37
  since my schedule has changed, he's been doing the kids night
• 34:41
  schedule because I work until like 1030.
• 34:44
  He's been doing a great job. So it's been good.
• 34:47
  I sure hope so. That's been good.
• 34:50
  I just don't like it because I'm like, it's just a lot for a
• 34:54
  family like this. It's a lot for like a mom to
• 34:57
  work nights. Yeah, that's all.
• 35:00
  Thank God you do have a man who can step in and fill that gap
• 35:04
  and right that you're not just leaving your kids.
• 35:08
  All right, you're in bed and I'm going to work and I'll check the
• 35:11
  monitor. Oh my gosh, I don't.
• 35:14
  I'm sure that happens. But like, also, that's very
• 35:18
  illegal. Yeah.
• 35:19
  And two, like, I'm glad that I don't have to just hire some
• 35:25
  rando to come sit. Like I'm very lucky to have
• 35:29
  that. So I I need to definitely like,
• 35:32
  I'm grateful. Do you have an active gratitude
• 35:35
  practice? I mean, yeah, when I think about
• 35:39
  it, when I'm like in the mode of so not an everyday practice, but
• 35:43
  I do. That might be a, a nice, easy,
• 35:48
  helpful thing to integrate into your life of something daily
• 35:52
  that like when you wake up in the morning, think of and say
• 35:57
  three things that you're grateful for.
• 35:59
  And as simple as my eyes opened, I can breathe.
• 36:04
  There's there. I have bedding on my bed.
• 36:07
  Yeah, yeah. I mean.
• 36:08
  Super super super basic. Just starting right away on
• 36:13
  really simple things to be grateful for that.
• 36:16
  Yeah, I would say like 2 at least two days out of the week
• 36:21
  in my journal. I write what I'm grateful for
• 36:24
  and I'll just like list them out with all my other lists of
• 36:28
  things. But I put them like just in
• 36:30
  there. Yeah.
• 36:31
  So yeah, I do. I definitely have some sort of
• 36:33
  but not like a I need a daily practice would be good.
• 36:37
  Yeah, I bet if you started doing it every day, those moments wish
• 36:40
  on might become a little easier and a little gentler and the
• 36:46
  appreciation for what you do have.
• 36:49
  Oh, there's so much appreciation.
• 36:51
  Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
• 36:53
  I'm not like suggesting it as a as suggesting that you don't
• 36:57
  have the appreciation, but just bringing, making that be the
• 37:02
  forefront of your mind as you start the day.
• 37:05
  Yeah, can make all the other little things like less
• 37:08
  annoying. I could definitely probably use
• 37:11
  more of that. And not like Also dude don't
• 37:18
  take on 2O. Dude, I take yeah, that's what
• 37:20
  that's really what it comes down to.
• 37:22
  But I got to tell you before I have to go.
• 37:25
  Yeah. What time is it?
• 37:27
  Oh, it's 2:00. You have to leave it 230.
• 37:30
  OK, I'll take off. OK, probably.
• 37:32
  Maybe get out like start walking up at like 220.
• 37:36
  Like 215. Or 215.
• 37:39
  Yeah. And it's like goodbye.
• 37:40
  Goodbye. Yeah, goodbye you.
• 37:42
  Still need to finish your your bun and need.
• 37:46
  To chew on my bun. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 37:49
  Well, is there anything else you want to tell us about your
• 37:51
  summer? My summer was fairly on it.
• 37:54
  I mean, you probably have so many stories of the river and
• 37:57
  like, was there any one moment or one stand out?
• 38:05
  The stand out moment of the summer that really is like you
• 38:07
  keep looking back on and I know there's probably 1, but we won't
• 38:10
  hit on it. We'll hit on something a little
• 38:12
  bit more lighter and on a different note, because there's
• 38:18
  a mysterious one, but we won't go there.
• 38:20
  Yeah, I mean, the main, like the essence of the summer was just
• 38:28
  love, like love for self, love for river, love for being
• 38:37
  outside, love for the work, both like the hard labor, the like
• 38:46
  carrying of the kayaks and the lifting of the trailers and the
• 38:53
  moving of the coolers and of the people.
• 38:57
  Hey, geese. Take a moment for the geese.
• 39:05
  They're cute. They're cute.
• 39:07
  They are not my favorite birds but they are great.
• 39:11
  Glad they exist. Birds are Turkey vultures.
• 39:14
  Turkey. Vultures and hummingbirds.
• 39:17
  Yeah. Love for the work, both the hard
• 39:22
  labor and the emotional work like the tender work, the soft
• 39:27
  work of just seeing people and holding space for people figure
• 39:36
  figurative space and also actually holding people.
• 39:39
  Like holding people while they cry and helping to Co regulate
• 39:45
  their nervous system and make them feel safe and loved and
• 39:49
  supported and and capable. Love for for those people, the
• 39:57
  people that I work with and the people that I work for.
• 40:04
  How many times did you fall in love and how many times did you
• 40:06
  fall have somebody fall in love with you?
• 40:09
  This is a pre emptive question. We went over this on the phone.
• 40:14
  I'd I'd say that I I fell in love twice and probably had at
• 40:23
  least 15 people fall in love with me in in various ways.
• 40:32
  It's just. It what about it?
• 40:34
  What about sexual ways? Like how many people fell in
• 40:36
  love with you like in that like. Like romantic desires?
• 40:41
  At least four or five. Families wanted.
• 40:46
  Families very wanted. What can I say?
• 40:48
  Girly Pop. Yeah.
• 40:52
  So the essence was just love. It was just a lot of love, a lot
• 40:55
  of love and a lot of like, trials.
• 40:57
  I mean, there was one week where I felt really, really
• 41:01
  challenged. There was somebody that I was
• 41:06
  working with that I felt very unexpectedly triggered by in a
• 41:12
  lot of ways. And I was having to use a lot of
• 41:20
  energy to be non reactive to the person.
• 41:25
  And midway through the week, I had to like take the night off
• 41:30
  to like go to bed early and restore myself because I within
• 41:38
  like 48 hours of being around this person, I had just like
• 41:42
  totally depleted myself and I wasn't feeling like I was
• 41:46
  showing up well for anybody around me and myself.
• 41:52
  So that was just a really great, I mean, it was really, really
• 41:55
  challenging and the week ended still really beautifully.
• 41:58
  And it was a week that like I felt really, I felt really
• 42:06
  challenged in a lot of ways in that week and wasn't feeling
• 42:10
  like I was showing up in the way that I needed to.
• 42:13
  And I was expressing to my boss all of that, that I was just
• 42:19
  feeling like like I wasn't doing right and wasn't being as
• 42:26
  present as I needed to be with people.
• 42:28
  And then while we're in this conversation, I get a message
• 42:32
  from somebody who'd been a participant in a previous week
• 42:36
  telling me that they were so grateful for the time that they
• 42:39
  spent with me and that it inspired them to leave their
• 42:44
  toxic marriage. And I just started sobbing.
• 42:50
  I was so, so touched and so fucking proud of them.
• 42:56
  And that has been a mission of mine since the end of my toxic
• 43:02
  marriage, to empower other women and anybody, really anybody
• 43:09
  who's in a toxic relationship to step out of it and get an
• 43:14
  experience that helps them get that perspective that they're
• 43:17
  worth more and that their baseline of how they should be
• 43:21
  treated and respected is very different than how they've been
• 43:25
  living. And I didn't even know that she
• 43:28
  was managing that while she was on this trip.
• 43:33
  And so then to get that message while I'm swirling in a place of
• 43:39
  self misery, to have somebody say, hey, you, your presence and
• 43:45
  your influence, like changed my life for the better, brought me
• 43:49
  back to like, oh, OK, part of part of like the suffering that
• 43:55
  I was feeling was effective because it allowed somebody else
• 43:59
  to see that one, like, life isn't sunshine and rainbows all
• 44:03
  the time. And the hard parts amount to
• 44:06
  something. Did were you able to to
• 44:12
  reconcile with that person that you're having a really triggered
• 44:15
  time by? Not really.
• 44:19
  It wasn't. In some ways, it wasn't really
• 44:21
  my responsibility to like respond to them.
• 44:27
  And that was part of my management of my energy was
• 44:30
  like, I'm not in a position, I'm not in a role of power and
• 44:34
  authority here. And so I'm not the one who can
• 44:38
  tell this person that they need to step back like I could, but
• 44:43
  they were not going to hear that from me.
• 44:46
  They needed to hear it from somebody else.
• 44:49
  And I think that it got resolved through the other people who had
• 44:53
  that power and, and things generally like collectively
• 44:59
  resolved, but it was more like, why?
• 45:03
  What is this doing to me? Why is this happening to me?
• 45:06
  Like what am I? What is coming out through this?
• 45:09
  So it was more just like, I just wanted to focus on like myself
• 45:13
  and my reaction and my coping mechanisms.
• 45:18
  And I don't know that that person will be invited back.
• 45:20
  I'm not sure. And if they are like I will
• 45:23
  approach much differently. Yeah, you might be in a
• 45:26
  different totally could be a totally different situation.
• 45:30
  They might just have. I know people that have like
• 45:34
  literally just had, because they have a little bit of history
• 45:38
  with you and they might not with the rest of the crew or
• 45:40
  whatever, they feel more connected with you this time
• 45:43
  around. So they're different towards you
• 45:45
  or whatever. So maybe that'll happen for you.
• 45:48
  And this was a person that was brand new to the space entirely.
• 45:55
  And so none of us had any experience with them
• 45:59
  potentially. And there was some confusion or
• 46:03
  some lack of clarity around like who was in charge at the
• 46:08
  beginning a little bit. And so that kind of got got
• 46:12
  fixed. But it was a really that week
• 46:15
  itself was really a very active lesson for me in.
• 46:22
  Was it during your period? No, no, I think I was ludial.
• 46:28
  I think it was the week before my period.
• 46:30
  So I was definitely in a like reduced energy and reduced
• 46:34
  ability to be present. And, and it was just for me,
• 46:41
  what my real take away around it was that I don't have to be
• 46:48
  perfect and 100% and like all, all, but like 130% of me every
• 46:55
  week. Like I can, I can pull back, I
• 46:57
  can be quieter, I can take time for myself and I can still have
• 47:01
  a positive impact and I can still bring so much value to the
• 47:08
  space and to the people that I'm that I'm working with.
• 47:11
  And so that was really nice. And then?
• 47:15
  Something big. OK.
• 47:17
  Are you ready or you want to finish?
• 47:19
  I guess I have one more. Yeah, I mean like every if we
• 47:21
  got really into every single week.
• 47:24
  There's something. There's there's something, but
• 47:27
  then there was another week that I had.
• 47:30
  I don't maybe it was even the same week that might have been
• 47:34
  the same week. So yeah, there a lot happened
• 47:37
  that week. I had an amazing participant on
• 47:40
  my boat because I row the support raft on my boat most of
• 47:44
  most of the week. Every day of the week she spent
• 47:46
  a little bit of time on my boat. She was the first person that I
• 47:49
  like connected with on our first day.
• 47:54
  She was the I got to, we give awards every night and I was
• 47:58
  able to give her an award the first night and I felt really
• 48:03
  special and grateful to be chosen to, to present her with
• 48:09
  the Cape of Courage award. And we just had like a really
• 48:15
  nice chill week spent together. And then a few weeks later I
• 48:22
  found out that she had passed. And so that was my first, my
• 48:27
  first did. You know she lost.
• 48:31
  Deep in it, no, I had no idea. Didn't.
• 48:34
  I didn't even know what kind of cancer she had, what her
• 48:37
  prognosis was, anything in some ways, like it doesn't really
• 48:41
  matter to me. It matters for them, the
• 48:44
  participants, to make connections in those ways.
• 48:46
  But for me, it's just you're here and I love you regardless,
• 48:51
  right? That was really like, I mean,
• 48:56
  there's a reasonable expectation that we're all we're all going
• 48:59
  to die. Nobody gets out of life alive.
• 49:02
  But I didn't, I had no idea. And maybe she didn't know
• 49:07
  either. I don't know if things like took
• 49:09
  a turn for the worst suddenly or if she got an infection and and
• 49:14
  it took her down. But that was a really just like
• 49:21
  a really stark reminder that life is precious and fleeting
• 49:26
  and we don't know from one moment of getting to spend with
• 49:31
  somebody if we're going to have a moment with them again.
• 49:34
  And I feel really, really honoured that essentially the
• 49:41
  last hurrah of her life was spent with us, with me, and she
• 49:47
  got to go out on like a highlight.
• 49:50
  And hook, Yeah. Got to go home, don't start.
• 49:53
  Crying because I'm my tart too. I don't want to.
• 49:57
  And, and she's one of the people that I share a bossy bracelet
• 50:00
  with too. And that feels really special.
• 50:03
  Really extra special. Yeah.
• 50:05
  And I even I, one of my bosses fell off one of the weeks, I
• 50:11
  think maybe on the second or third week that I was out there.
• 50:16
  And that felt really interesting, like the shedding
• 50:18
  of one from my first season and then to gain somebody new, but
• 50:25
  also have have their life be be ceased.
• 50:31
  Yeah, that was that was a new experience for being in that
• 50:36
  space. And I'm sure it won't be the
• 50:38
  last, but it was really like, wow, we like we were just
• 50:44
  together. We were, we were hugging when I
• 50:48
  found out. It's like we were hugging 3
• 50:50
  weeks ago and now she's gone. That's sad.
• 50:55
  Yeah, so I hope, I hope her family feels the love and and
• 51:02
  the support that they need in navigating and I will, I will
• 51:09
  remember Basil forever. Maybe see her again one day.
• 51:15
  I'm sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 51:18
  What's your big thing? I don't know if you heard, but
• 51:22
  Mario Lodge is for sale. I did hear that that Mario Lodge
• 51:25
  is for sale. Yeah, Yep, yeah.
• 51:29
  Big deal. Lots.
• 51:31
  Too much money? Yeah.
• 51:32
  I'm just $2,000,000. Yeah, well, that's about
• 51:37
  $1,000,000 over what they paid. Really.
• 51:43
  And they haven't. Made significant.
• 51:45
  Improvements enough to it to warrant and that they list it
• 51:49
  for sale while the Canyon is actively on fire.
• 51:53
  They've lost odd time. They've also lost their
• 51:57
  contracts with OTT. They don't have contracts and
• 52:00
  I'm pretty sure Morrison's was pulling out from for Mariel.
• 52:04
  Also it's leased land. You don't buy the land.
• 52:08
  You just buy the the buildings. The dilapidated buildings
• 52:11
  dilapidated. Because it's BLM land?
• 52:14
  Or is it Forest Service land? It's which is Forest Service
• 52:17
  right there, Yeah. So at that price, you know, I'm
• 52:23
  when I cuz I called Lori, the old owners of Mariel and I was
• 52:30
  like, hey, or I texted her at first I was like, hey, I've been
• 52:33
  thinking about you guys with the fire being down there.
• 52:35
  How's everything going? Cuz I don't, I'm friends with
• 52:37
  Rob and Amber, the current owners, but we're not like super
• 52:43
  close and I'm not in texting with them and I'm closer with
• 52:47
  Pat and Lori. And so I just texted her and
• 52:52
  she's like, yeah, did you hear Muriel's for sale?
• 52:54
  And it had been for sale like a week or whatever.
• 52:56
  And I was like, no. And it just like that just hit
• 52:59
  me. It was such a heavy week, you
• 53:00
  know, with everything happening in the world and lots of things
• 53:03
  happening and it just like that, was the Cheerio.
• 53:05
  Fires. Oh my gosh, everything.
• 53:08
  National unrest, yes. It's just all of it and and my
• 53:15
  ludial face. I cried during my ludial face
• 53:17
  for sure and. As you should.
• 53:21
  Yeah, it just hit me and so I like cried and I was like, well,
• 53:25
  I told myself when it went for sale, I would try to figure out
• 53:28
  anything I could to buy it. And that was an emotional
• 53:32
  reaction because honestly, I don't think they could produce
• 53:35
  the P and LS to show face for that, the value that it's at.
• 53:39
  Yeah, Unfortunately, like now being in the position that I'm
• 53:41
  at where I can kind of like gauge prices, I can straight up
• 53:48
  tell you that that is like way too much.
• 53:51
  Yeah. And like, so it's going to sit
• 53:53
  there vacant like Half Moon did for how many years?
• 53:56
  Eight. Yeah, and it's.
• 53:58
  Just going to sit there and then they're going to have to figure
• 54:00
  out pull contracts. Some Houdini is going to have to
• 54:05
  come along like owner Houdini that's going to pull all the
• 54:08
  contracts again and like build up new brand new relationships
• 54:12
  with all these Outfitters to make money because they can't
• 54:16
  they they might even have to go and get signed preemptive
• 54:19
  contracts with these. To show that they can afford.
• 54:23
  Make to PN LS for that, unless or and then that's if they want
• 54:28
  any type of private funding, that's what they'll have to do.
• 54:31
  I don't know if Robin Amber is they're going to do a for Sale
• 54:35
  by owner, but I'm I mean, I would guess that they still owe
• 54:39
  money on that place. So that's, you know.
• 54:44
  That's probably why they're trying to sell it for more than
• 54:45
  they bought it for, because they still owe money on the purchase
• 54:49
  and on any like upgrades that they did make.
• 54:53
  I mean, yeah. And they made some upgrades, but
• 54:55
  like, at the end of the day, it's, those are like built in
• 55:00
  the 40s, you know, like they're old and they've just been like,
• 55:05
  patched. Yeah, over the years.
• 55:07
  Yeah, because can they even build new on there?
• 55:11
  I don't know. I don't know.
• 55:14
  I, I feel like last time I like inquired with like Pat about it.
• 55:21
  I remember him saying like if a wildfire did take these out,
• 55:24
  they couldn't. Rebuild.
• 55:25
  Yeah, I think, I think so because.
• 55:27
  It or they'd have to. Because it was designated Wild
• 55:29
  and Scenic after they were already built, so all of those
• 55:32
  buildings were grandfathered in. But Wild and Scenic rules are no
• 55:38
  building, no construction. So yeah, if they're gone,
• 55:43
  they're gone. Yeah, I don't know what the
• 55:45
  stipulation, but like, I don't know.
• 55:48
  I immediately like, where are we at?
• 55:51
  Yeah, we got to get rolling. I just Jesus the I didn't even
• 56:03
  do that, did you? Just fart.
• 56:06
  I just had a tiny fart. Just a tiny little Yeah.
• 56:09
  I get so many spam calls you and your I mean it's very, very
• 56:16
  Heather of you yeah anyway, so like part of me I was like, OK,
• 56:20
  what can I do? Like how can I get like a few
• 56:23
  people in on it and like get in on it, but like I at the end of
• 56:25
  the day, I don't really I don't see it working out yeah, I
• 56:31
  actually called and not called. I texted because we we had been
• 56:36
  texting or whatever, but Danielle Thorpe, because they
• 56:40
  have monies and they have the construction company and she
• 56:43
  goes down there and her father-in-law, blah, blah, blah.
• 56:47
  Anyway, so they were kind of like looking into it a little
• 56:49
  bit just to like as an information grab.
• 56:53
  And but yeah, like that's, she's even, like that's just.
• 56:58
  Yeah, Ridiculous. Outlandish.
• 57:00
  Yeah, outlandish. Yeah.
• 57:02
  So and she does not really like in good stance like she's like I
• 57:05
  don't think Amber likes me like so I wouldn't want her knowing
• 57:08
  I'm inquiring about it and I wouldn't even want her to know
• 57:11
  that I'm inquiring about it. Even though we're fine, I still
• 57:14
  like. Well then you may need to cut
• 57:16
  this. Oh, no, I'm fine.
• 57:18
  Listen, I don't care. I don't.
• 57:21
  I don't not like Amber. Like I like her Like there's
• 57:24
  nothing about that. I just think that I just don't
• 57:28
  want her to feel certain ways. So yeah, if she does happen to
• 57:31
  listen to this, it's not because they don't like you.
• 57:33
  It's just like, I don't want you to feel threatened by me trying.
• 57:36
  Like, you know, I'm not, you know, so.
• 57:39
  But like if they're selling it, then they can't.
• 57:42
  They can't expect that. They can't not expect that
• 57:45
  people are going to be looking at it and probably people that
• 57:48
  they know. Right, exactly.
• 57:51
  That's how it'll sell if it sells to anybody that is local.
• 57:57
  Yeah, they're going. To sell, they're going to know,
• 58:00
  yeah, yeah. So.
• 58:01
  And if they want to sell, they should be open to literally
• 58:04
  anything. Yeah, anybody, anything.
• 58:07
  But still I'm just like I don't. Yeah, I don't.
• 58:09
  You don't need it. But I want I.
• 58:12
  Maybe someday. I mean, this probably isn't the
• 58:13
  last time it's going to be for sale, and it's probably going to
• 58:17
  be for sale for a while. So no, you can't buy it today.
• 58:21
  But if it's still on the market in three years and you still
• 58:24
  want it, maybe you can. It's a big I my mom was like,
• 58:30
  well, let's, let's think about it.
• 58:31
  Let's make it work. And I'm like, Mom, you wait.
• 58:34
  Like, yeah, maybe. Yeah.
• 58:36
  Are Becky and Wyman going to move down there, sell their
• 58:39
  house and move down there? And like you guys are?
• 58:41
  Operate it? No.
• 58:43
  That's just, and then I have to think about that long term.
• 58:45
  That's what kind of got me. It's like, so my advice to
• 58:47
  anybody is like always sleep on your emotional reaction and like
• 58:52
  process it before you like actually go start anything like
• 58:56
  really process it. So that's what happened.
• 58:58
  I was like, I got to figure it out.
• 58:59
  Like that day I was just like emotions, emotions, emotions,
• 59:01
  like figuring it out. I got to do this and then I was
• 59:04
  just like, hey there. I woke up the next day and I'm
• 59:06
  like cute thought, but like that's actually not what I want
• 59:10
  to do. I don't want to live my life
• 59:12
  down there. I would take a if I was like in
• 59:15
  with a bunch of friends on it, I could take a month down there a
• 59:18
  few weeks, like have some designated weeks where I go down
• 59:21
  there and manage it. But like, I ain't doing that.
• 59:24
  Yeah, that'd be for. For real, Yeah.
• 59:26
  Like that, that's not your life trajectory is to live year round
• 59:30
  in a remote river Canyon. You can't even get down there in
• 59:33
  the winter. I mean depending on if the road
• 59:36
  is plowed or if you have a vehicle that can get there but.
• 59:41
  Yeah. And then do you?
• 59:41
  Usually or you just stay there. Yeah.
• 59:44
  And usually they don't go down there in the winter.
• 59:47
  So in the in the spring, Pat will try to get down there or
• 59:50
  like this is Pat the like old owners, they would try to get
• 59:53
  down there like early spring just to like see what needs to
• 59:56
  be cleared on the road. Like he's like one year I had to
• 59:59
  cut out like freaking 50 trees on the way down like.
• 1:00:03
  Do I want that kind of responsibility if a tree falls
• 1:00:05
  on the lodge and I have to like rebuild in like a week span or
• 1:00:09
  figure out like, no, Heather is not doing that, Like I'm not, I
• 1:00:12
  can't do that. Yeah, you're not a homesteader.
• 1:00:14
  And it's very much you're like homesteading and hosting.
• 1:00:17
  Yeah. Like, so it's, I like the
• 1:00:19
  hosting part, but there's a lot of stuff like there's and
• 1:00:24
  mitigating bears, like constant bears just up in your freaking
• 1:00:29
  up on your deck, in your food potentially.
• 1:00:32
  Wildlife, bugs, trees, fire. Fire.
• 1:00:37
  Landslides. Now you got to kind of think
• 1:00:40
  about landslides because now the fire's already gone through it,
• 1:00:43
  which is kind of a good thing for now in the future for sure,
• 1:00:47
  because it won't reburn. Yeah.
• 1:00:49
  And if it does, it'll be really minimal.
• 1:00:50
  So that's kind of a blessing in disguise.
• 1:00:53
  A fire has been down there. Now you can like, leave that
• 1:00:56
  worry. But now you got to think about
• 1:00:58
  it. Getting insured now and.
• 1:01:01
  If we have a super wet winter and all of that land that has
• 1:01:05
  been loosened up from now, burned trees is going to be
• 1:01:09
  landslide central. All right, we got to wrap up.
• 1:01:13
  OK. This was really nice.
• 1:01:15
  Yeah, this. We got to catch up a little.
• 1:01:17
  Wildly S debrief. Yeah.
• 1:01:20
  Catch us on our YouTube. Catch us everywhere you get your
• 1:01:23
  podcasts and socials and. A little bit about me and Emily.
• 1:01:31
  We don't we should do this like like at once every few.
• 1:01:35
  Yeah, like once a month we we should sit down and like
• 1:01:39
  debrief, catch up once a month probably.
• 1:01:41
  And then like. OK, really quick.
• 1:01:45
  What's your what's the rest of the year look like to you?
• 1:01:49
  I have about 6 weeks, 7 weeks, seven weeks ish at home where I
• 1:01:58
  will be cleaning houses. I have two private river trips
• 1:02:03
  on the calendar and getting as many podcast episodes recorded
• 1:02:10
  and in the queue as possible. And then on October 9th, October
• 1:02:14
  29th I fly to Portugal. I'll be in Portugal for about
• 1:02:19
  two weeks and then I go to Barcelona and I'll be on a
• 1:02:25
  cruise out of Barcelona for about two weeks and then I have
• 1:02:29
  a open-ended unplanned agenda after that.
• 1:02:35
  And right now I just have a one way ticket to Portugal on
• 1:02:37
  October 29th. And then when you do end up
• 1:02:40
  coming back. And when I do end up coming
• 1:02:43
  back, and even then, once I depart, I will be ceasing my
• 1:02:50
  residential cleaning business and transitioning to myself and
• 1:02:57
  my European exploration. And then going full full work
• 1:03:02
  time, full speed into the podcast and investing all, all
• 1:03:06
  of my 990% of my working time and energy into the podcast.
• 1:03:13
  And I'll also be doing some admin work for Sundance over the
• 1:03:16
  winter. I'm really excited about that.
• 1:03:18
  Awesome. Yeah.
• 1:03:20
  So that's why I say 90 percent, 90% of my working energy into
• 1:03:24
  the podcast, 10% into Sundance. So hopefully we will get like
• 1:03:30
  starting in the new year, just maybe some sponsorships and some
• 1:03:35
  potential 10% off codes for our listeners that want to open
• 1:03:41
  anything. 'S possible.
• 1:03:42
  It's. All on the table, yeah.
• 1:03:44
  Because we Hey, Hummingbird. We see the value of this product
• 1:03:56
  and those who listen and watch also see the value of this
• 1:03:59
  product and we believe in this wholeheartedly.
• 1:04:03
  And the reality of making this podcast successful in our
• 1:04:09
  definitions of success for it are going to require that one of
• 1:04:13
  us can go full time into it as soon as possible.
• 1:04:18
  That is me and I will be working on making it a a product and a
• 1:04:26
  an income stream that then you can also go more full time into
• 1:04:31
  it and release some of the other extraneous release the beast
• 1:04:35
  that you have. And we can be podcast host
• 1:04:40
  professionals. So yeah.
• 1:04:44
  So in the meantime, listeners, lovers, please like and share
• 1:04:49
  and follow and comment and review and share and share.
• 1:04:57
  I have. Homework for our bread and
• 1:04:59
  butter listeners if you so wish. We would love it if you shared
• 1:05:03
  this on your social media, like, you know, on your stories or a
• 1:05:08
  TikTok or something along those lines.
• 1:05:10
  It's like, I've been listening to this really cute little
• 1:05:13
  podcast. It's been so cute and lovely and
• 1:05:15
  you should listen to it too, friends.
• 1:05:17
  That's what's up. Like give us a shouty.
• 1:05:20
  Share it on your social media and even think about who in your
• 1:05:24
  life would benefit from these messages.
• 1:05:28
  Maybe it's a particular episode or the podcast library as a
• 1:05:33
  whole, but reach out to the people that you know in your
• 1:05:36
  life directly and say, hey, Jerry, I think that you
• 1:05:43
  something. They said something in this
• 1:05:45
  podcast that really resonated with me and made me think of you
• 1:05:48
  and I think that you would enjoy it too.
• 1:05:49
  Take a listen. Those like direct reach outs and
• 1:05:53
  connections of friends and content that's going to go so
• 1:05:58
  much further and, and actually like bring us listeners who are
• 1:06:02
  committed and not just pass it through.
• 1:06:05
  Community. That's how you build community.
• 1:06:07
  Not just like, not just like a wishy washy follower base, like
• 1:06:13
  really committed listeners. But those are those are free
• 1:06:17
  ways that y'all who love us can help more people love us.
• 1:06:24
  And by just sharing, commenting. We should do on the next go wild
• 1:06:29
  or. Up and that is where the camera
• 1:06:31
  battery died because that is the joy of recording in the wild.
• 1:06:35
  But what I was saying before the battery died was we should do a
• 1:06:38
  question and answer. Wildly US episode or at least a.
• 1:06:42
  Portion of it just to answer some, you know, burning
• 1:06:45
  questions from the audience. So maybe we'll do that.
• 1:06:50
  Maybe we'll put up a little thing on our social media.
• 1:06:52
  So so head on over there and give us a like and follow and
• 1:06:56
  look out for those questions for the next one, which will
• 1:06:58
  probably be in a couple months or maybe sooner.
• 1:07:01
  Thanks for listening and watching and we'll catch you in
• 1:07:03
  the next one. Do all of the things for us, the
• 1:07:06
  like comment, share, subscribe, share with a friend.
• 1:07:09
  Did I say that already? Please do that.
• 1:07:11
  That would be great. We would love you.
• 1:07:12
  Forever and ever. All right, Toodaloo.