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80 | King of the Misfits · You Didn't Ask For This

• 0:00
  Eric: So I've established that I live in Dundalk well established.
• 0:04
  Eric: Yes, jewel of the Baltimore suburbs.
• 0:08
  Matt: Sure a rusty jewel, perhaps yes.
• 0:14
  Eric: The only jewel capable of oxidizing and producing rust.
• 0:18
  Eric: And that's how we're exceptional.
• 0:20
  Eric: Two things happened.
• 0:22
  Eric: One is in the spirit of the season, the others just par for the course.
• 0:26
  Eric: In Dundalk I was walking Nizumi.
• 0:29
  Eric: It's a list of dog.
• 0:30
  Eric: Oh, pomshee, she's a precious little, terrified little dog.
• 0:34
  Eric: Of everything there she is you're walking.
• 0:36
  Eric: It was at night.
• 0:36
  Eric: It's typically I walk the dog at night because you know, you're a big strong man.
• 0:41
  Eric: Big strong man who was immediately reduced to a puddle of anxiety as I rounded the corner of our street, like I was walking away from our house to take the dog on her poop journey, and I turn the corner and down this new street.
• 0:55
  Eric: I'm on about like Three or four houses away, mm-hmm is a giant house.
• 1:02
  Eric: There's like a big house that was built like a hundred years ago and it has like a bunch of apartment units in it.
• 1:08
  Eric: Oh and out of that house a man comes jogging.
• 1:13
  Eric: He starts job like he is just like.
• 1:15
  Eric: But he's not like dress, ladies, don't jolly.
• 1:17
  Eric: He's like just in his.
• 1:18
  Eric: He's got his like jacket on, he's got his hood up.
• 1:20
  Eric: Yeah, it is nighttime, sure.
• 1:22
  Eric: He is running out of the house, in, in like, towards where me and a zoomie are, and he like at first he runs on the sidewalk, then he goes, he starts running out to the street, making a beeline Directly towards me and the dog.
• 1:38
  Eric: At which point my, my, my thought is oh golly, well, gonna have to fight a guy while holding a dog.
• 1:44
  Matt: Let's do this because the dog's not helping you.
• 1:47
  Matt: It sounds like she's scared of everything.
• 1:49
  Eric: She's terrified of everything and he is running with purpose, yeah.
• 1:53
  Eric: But like, just when I get to the point where I'm like, do I need to say something?
• 1:57
  Eric: Do I need to like say hey, no, please don't stop, I don't want this for any of us?
• 2:01
  Eric: He adjusts course so that now he's just sprinting down the middle of the street and as he passes me he looks at me and says keep running, brother whoa, and Then just runs off it like runs into the park and into the night.
• 2:19
  Matt: Do you think, okay, let's break this down?
• 2:21
  Matt: Do you think he was threatening you or do you think he was giving you advice?
• 2:25
  Eric: I think he was giving me advice.
• 2:26
  Eric: I think that was an angel and I think he was giving me advice, but you weren't running.
• 2:32
  Matt: No, you were, you were stationing.
• 2:34
  Eric: I was.
• 2:34
  Eric: I was standing there Limply, holding the leash connected to a dog that comes up to my mid-chin, sure, and he said running, so that leads me to believe he's giving you life advice.
• 2:47
  Eric: Yes, keep running and like it didn't see it did and it didn't sound like he wanted me to Run from something.
• 2:55
  Eric: But he wanted me to run like run after my dreams.
• 2:58
  Eric: Okay, okay.
• 3:00
  Eric: Yeah okay.
• 3:02
  Eric: Yeah yeah, that was Dundalk moment number one.
• 3:07
  Matt: Oh, all right go.
• 3:09
  Eric: Dundalk, moment number two.
• 3:09
  Eric: I stumbled upon the Dundalk Christmas parade yesterday.
• 3:13
  Eric: Stumbled upon it with the dog?
• 3:15
  Matt: Yes, when?
• 3:16
  Eric: Yeah well, it was me, alyssa and the dog, because the way the the parades happen here much like the st Patrick's Day parade, the 4th of July parade, etc.
• 3:25
  Eric: They just sort of happen and like like you don't know they're happening.
• 3:31
  Matt: There's no announcement.
• 3:32
  Eric: There's, there's no, really there are announcements, but not in papers that anyone's reading, so like we come out.
• 3:37
  Eric: We came back from brunch and we saw that there were like Cop cars and stuff on the street, but then we saw like a bunch of cones and people invest and like there's a general Vibe to the like oh, they're about to do a parade and and the like a storm gathering pretty much.
• 3:55
  Eric: And, matt, I saw the most fucking Disrespectful, petty abuse of power imaginable, mm-hmm.
• 4:04
  Eric: So for the parade, it's like a block away from my house.
• 4:09
  Eric: So we just get the dog, we stand on the corner and we're waiting for the parade to begin.
• 4:13
  Eric: But the way they had blockaded the road, they had blockaded it with an unmarked cop car, so it just looked like a cop car chilling in the middle of the street with a with a cop standing next to it.
• 4:25
  Eric: Yeah, and like I watched as like 10 cars Drove up to this, because if you don't live here you would have no idea that a parade is about to happen.
• 4:34
  Eric: You can't see any, like none of the parade stuff is like happen.
• 4:37
  Eric: Like set up down here.
• 4:38
  Eric: It just looks like a cop is parked in the middle of the road.
• 4:41
  Eric: So like this line of 10 cars Comes up and this lady, this cop, tells like oh no, you can't come down here, you can't, you cannot come this way, you cannot go through, and these people are literally just trying to get from.
• 4:56
  Eric: Like it like there's a block that they've blocked off that leads to the main road and is Really fucking hard to get to and you like you have to go way out of your way to like go around it, but where they decided to block off the closest turning road is a one way, that is going the wrong direction.
• 5:14
  Eric: If you're trying to turn that like, you cannot, you cannot turn down that road.
• 5:19
  Eric: So she made all of these cars like basically have to back up for several blocks Till they could find a road.
• 5:28
  Eric: That wasn't a one way that they could actually turn down and they're actually backing up, they're reversing yes, and because there's ten of them, they can really don't do it one at a time and they've all got to try to like car sign language their intent.
• 5:41
  Eric: Yeah because, like it started, the one in front having to throw it in reverse so the one in front behind them could see it and then they could put Raid had not even started.
• 5:56
  Matt: Yeah, like there was nothing there with the so they're backing up for no reason right now.
• 6:02
  Eric: This this cop could like.
• 6:03
  Eric: There was space on either side of the unmarked car that these cars could just go around and they would have been in the parade zone for five seconds to turn on to the street that gets them out of the neighborhood.
• 6:13
  Eric: Geez, louise, she stopped a city bus, a city bus, a.
• 6:19
  Eric: We watched a city bus pull up and, like the bus driver, get out and be like, hey, can I come through here?
• 6:27
  Eric: And this like cop just go.
• 6:29
  Eric: Nope, no, you, there's parade.
• 6:31
  Eric: Parade's about to start.
• 6:32
  Eric: You can't you get?
• 6:34
  Eric: He's like I got a bus full of people and now there's five or six cars behind me.
• 6:40
  Matt: There's no way that and I'm a treat like 20 feet wide and then he had.
• 6:51
  Eric: Just he didn't tell everyone, everyone to get off the bus and leave the bus stop was like to you I imagine the bus stop was two blocks away.
• 6:59
  Eric: My dude and they all had to get these got off and walked, walked out and then the bus driver Sat there the entire parade.
• 7:11
  Matt: It's certainly not a good idea for him to try to reverse that whole way.
• 7:15
  Eric: No, so he was just stuck at.
• 7:18
  Eric: The most fucked up thing is like she.
• 7:20
  Eric: She tried, like he was, he's like man.
• 7:22
  Eric: He's like can I just can't.
• 7:23
  Eric: She's like no, no, you can't.
• 7:24
  Eric: And and he parks the bus, gets all the passengers off and then for like the parade was delayed like another 15 minutes.
• 7:31
  Eric: For no, really, like he had all the time in the world.
• 7:35
  Eric: All this lady had to do is move her fucking unmarked cop car.
• 7:39
  Eric: And like he even said.
• 7:40
  Eric: He's like sorry, he's like I didn't.
• 7:42
  Eric: I thought you could move.
• 7:44
  Eric: I felt like this doesn't look like any.
• 7:46
  Eric: Like they didn't put cones down.
• 7:47
  Eric: They didn't put any, it was just this single car marking the parade route, good Lord.
• 7:53
  Eric: And when he finally pulled out, everyone on the corner, we all started applauding.
• 7:58
  Eric: We all started.
• 7:59
  Matt: Cheering for him.
• 8:00
  Matt: I mean, there's a lot one could say in this moment.
• 8:03
  Matt: Yeah, what I think I should say, and what I think Everyone would like to have seen, is that bus ram, that cop car right.
• 8:11
  Matt: Oh yeah, I mean just take it out and send it and begin speed three.
• 8:18
  Matt: I Don't know what the subtitle of speed three would speed three.
• 8:24
  Eric: This time it's kilometers.
• 8:26
  Eric: It's like in Europe or something.
• 8:28
  Matt: I know it's in Dundalk, eric.
• 8:30
  Matt: We're talking.
• 8:30
  Matt: What?
• 8:30
  Matt: The fuck it's your story, yeah.
• 8:33
  Eric: But I thought like we're just gonna pitch whatever we want for speed three, we can do whatever we want for it done.
• 8:37
  Eric: I mean, there's a Dundalk Now you're talking about.
• 8:41
  Matt: Scotland.
• 8:41
  Matt: What are you doing?
• 8:44
  Eric: You have lost the plot of your own story, my friend.
• 8:47
  Eric: We're not gonna pull Keanu with this fucking attitude.
• 8:51
  Matt: Okay, well, he didn't even come back for two, so we're not getting Keanu.
• 8:55
  Eric: I'm gonna make it 10 times better when he comes back for speed three, matthew, he's not coming back because I'm gonna come back for speed three, because we're speed three right now is just an actual bus committing a crime.
• 9:19
  Matt: Well, hello everybody and welcome to you.
• 9:21
  Matt: Didn't ask for this.
• 9:22
  Matt: The podcast answering life's least pressing questions.
• 9:25
  Matt: My name is Matt Shea, my name is Eric Poch, and welcome once again to our annual holiday episode celebrating, well, christmas I mean, christmas is what we're gonna be doing questions on, but we're celebrating everything as people in terms of content in terms of content.
• 9:49
  Eric: Let's address, let's just say it, in terms of content.
• 9:51
  Eric: We're probably gonna go off of the thing we've known since our entire childhood, right like the thing we feel equipped to speak to.
• 9:59
  Matt: It's the safest option for the two of us Truly to stick to.
• 10:04
  Matt: When we got a good one for you today, folks, it's episode 80, by the way, landmark episode of the pod and as always, we have a holiday themed episode for you on tap today.
• 10:19
  Matt: First we've got a nice, lovely Christmas themed question for you, and then it's sort of been our habit the last couple years to do a Christmas themed definitive ranking.
• 10:28
  Matt: Yes, well, first we did the reindeer, santa's reindeer, we did, we ranked those, and now last year we did the 12 days of Christmas.
• 10:39
  Matt: Find out which are those gifts is the best.
• 10:42
  Matt: But this year, eric, what do we have for the people?
• 10:51
  Eric: You will be judged accordingly.
• 10:54
  Matt: Yes, we are doing.
• 10:55
  Matt: The Misfit toys that you find in Rudolph the red nose reindeer on the island misfit toys.
• 11:03
  Matt: We will be ranking them in order of their misfit miss.
• 11:07
  Matt: So first question on the docket today, eric.
• 11:12
  Matt: It comes from Aaron, who wrote in in a long email once upon a time and he included this Christmas question.
• 11:20
  Matt: We've been hanging on to it.
• 11:21
  Matt: Aside from sugar cookies cut into Christmas shapes, do Christmas cookies Really exist or do we just call regular cookies Christmas cookies because of the season?
• 11:33
  Matt: All right, aaron, I think they definitely exist.
• 11:37
  Eric: Okay, so let's get into the weeds.
• 11:38
  Eric: I think there are cookies, yeah, there are Cookies you only make at Christmas time, yes.
• 11:47
  Eric: And then there's this third one which I'm not sure on uh-huh, actual Christmas cook like they're like a recipe for, oh, this is a Christmas cookie I have yeah, for example, a Christmas cookie and one could potentially even argue this isn't a Christmas cookie.
• 12:06
  Matt: But a Christmas cookie from my youth that I know is quite popular is the like Rice crispy wreath with one of those Red Hots as like the Holly involved.
• 12:20
  Matt: Why would you make that any other time of year?
• 12:24
  Eric: true, but see that that feels Dissingenuous to me, because the rice crispy treat is a thing that you would you make the rest of the year.
• 12:35
  Eric: This is just a Christmas version of a rice crispy, sure?
• 12:40
  Matt: and then there's the Christmas Version of, like those sand dollar type cookies.
• 12:45
  Matt: You know I'm talking about.
• 12:47
  Eric: Sand dollar like the snicker doodles.
• 12:49
  Eric: No, but the snicker doodles, I think, are a good Christmas cookie snicker doodles were definitely a Christmas cookie in my house, but but they are their own cookie and they do get made Other times, other places.
• 13:00
  Eric: See the hot.
• 13:01
  Eric: The Christmas snicker doodles were just like, instead of like rent like all kinds of different colors for the sugar on top yeah, red and green, yes, that and, yes, that that's sort of what I'm envisioning as well.
• 13:16
  Matt: Yeah, I mean, I guess.
• 13:18
  Matt: I'm trying to like, I'm struggling to think of a Christmas cookie if you're gonna go that angle, aren't they just all Cookies, you know, isn't?
• 13:29
  Matt: Yeah, they're just a cookie, as a cookie is a cookie.
• 13:32
  Eric: There's.
• 13:32
  Eric: There's cookies that get the Christmas twist, but I'm struggling to think of like.
• 13:37
  Eric: Oh, this is a recipe for a like.
• 13:40
  Eric: What cookie can I bite into?
• 13:42
  Matt: go, mmm, yep, christmas, I'm doing a little scroll through the food networks 100 best Christmas cookies and the very first one.
• 13:52
  Matt: I think I have to take a pause at Gingerbread men.
• 13:57
  Eric: Oh, okay, yeah, no, that's a Christmas cookie.
• 13:59
  Matt: Gingerbread men are a cook Christmas cookie.
• 14:01
  Matt: Gingerbread men are a Christmas cookie cuz.
• 14:03
  Matt: Not only are gingerbread men associated with Christmas, but take away the design and you just in even the shape and just the cookie itself.
• 14:13
  Matt: When would you make that ginger cookie?
• 14:16
  Eric: Yeah, and the closest thing would be a ginger snap.
• 14:18
  Eric: But that's a different thing.
• 14:20
  Eric: That is a different.
• 14:21
  Matt: That is a different thing, I would agree.
• 14:24
  Eric: Gingerbread men yeah, only get made a Christmas time are.
• 14:27
  Eric: I don't know.
• 14:28
  Eric: Wikipedia, tell me something about gingerbread men.
• 14:30
  Eric: When did have they always been a Christmas thing?
• 14:33
  Matt: while you're doing that, I want to jump in with what about Peppermint bark?
• 14:38
  Matt: And now I know that's not really a cookie, but it's often broken up into squares.
• 14:43
  Eric: It's a Christmas confection.
• 14:45
  Matt: Oh, here's a good one.
• 14:46
  Matt: This I've had before the the red velvet, sometimes stuff, sometimes not cookies, with, like the snowy sugar effect on top.
• 14:58
  Eric: Oh, yeah, those are also.
• 15:00
  Matt: That's a but I mean red velvet cookies are a thing, but you have to admit that it's pretty, it's pretty Christmasy.
• 15:08
  Eric: It's very Christmasy.
• 15:09
  Eric: Why do I feel like there's one like a big one missing?
• 15:12
  Matt: the thumbprint cookies those are.
• 15:15
  Matt: That's a cookie that I only ever have at Christmas time thumbprint cookie.
• 15:20
  Eric: Tell me more.
• 15:20
  Matt: Yeah, they've got like.
• 15:21
  Matt: Sometimes they've got like jam in the middle.
• 15:24
  Matt: They're basically like this, this kind of guy They've got like little fellas.
• 15:27
  Matt: Yeah, I've got like red jam in the middle.
• 15:30
  Matt: See those at Christmas.
• 15:32
  Matt: You really only see them at Christmas, but that doesn't mean you could only eat them at Christmas.
• 15:38
  Eric: To get to your point, so you seem pretty stuck on wanting to say nay well now, I mean, I agree with gingerbread men, even though you could eat them like they are a Christmas cookie.
• 15:49
  Matt: I have yet to.
• 15:50
  Matt: On this list I told you it's a hundred and I'm just scrolling trying to find something besides gingerbread cookies, buck eyes that's something that comes around in the holiday season, but if you go to Ohio they're just available all the fucking time.
• 16:07
  Eric: Yeah, they're just the 100% of the time.
• 16:08
  Eric: I've never had a buck eye.
• 16:09
  Eric: They look tasty.
• 16:11
  Matt: They are tasty.
• 16:12
  Matt: I mean, it's chocolate and peanut butter.
• 16:13
  Matt: You can't really go wrong with it.
• 16:15
  Matt: Now, can you know?
• 16:17
  Eric: What is your favorite cookie at Christmas time, by the way?
• 16:22
  Matt: That is.
• 16:22
  Matt: That is tough Something, that I only have a Christmas time, that I've already gone over the thumb well, the thumb prints are a classic.
• 16:32
  Matt: I do like a good fucking sugar cookie Christmas design nice and thin thin and crispy.
• 16:39
  Matt: But those, those cookies that have like a Hershey kiss right in the middle you know that's coming up out of the top Again can have them anytime, but really that's a Christmas cookie.
• 16:50
  Matt: It's Christmas, ooh.
• 16:51
  Matt: Morang cookies is another one that I only really have at Christmas time but could have any time, any any other time.
• 16:57
  Matt: And to be fair, all you to gingerbread man in June.
• 17:00
  Matt: No, yeah, yeah, I don't discriminate, I'll yeah, I think, I think what we're seeing.
• 17:06
  Matt: Yeah is the answer I think has to be, and I hate it.
• 17:11
  Matt: I hate it, but I think it might be if we're only finding one cookie that is definitively a Only a quote-unquote Christmas time, inappropriate any other time of your cookie.
• 17:23
  Matt: Yeah, I think we have to say Christmas cookies are really just cookies that have been Christmas, christmas-fied.
• 17:29
  Matt: Mmm, they're all being subjugated by the gingerbread men, I think so because, like if you scrape off the snowman design on top of a sugar cookie, it's just sugar.
• 17:43
  Eric: It's just sugar.
• 17:43
  Eric: Could have at any time of year pop the red hots off that that reef just smush it again.
• 17:51
  Eric: It's just a rice Krispy treat again.
• 17:53
  Matt: It's just a rice Krispy ball.
• 17:55
  Eric: at that point, yes but a ginger man you could scrape his face off.
• 17:58
  Eric: Still shaped like a little gingerbread man, he's still a gingerbread man.
• 18:02
  Eric: Still gingerbread man.
• 18:03
  Eric: Yeah, now this kind of makes sense because it feels like yeah, taking all the other Christmas cookies into this new context, it really does sound like the gingerbread man is subjugating the rest of the cookies.
• 18:14
  Eric: He's like oh, rice Krispy treat, no, you would now my wreath.
• 18:18
  Matt: So you think the gingerbread man, as, as a class, are really asserting dominance over all other cookies and making them conform to their version of holiday cheer?
• 18:32
  Eric: Oh my god, yeah, like that.
• 18:33
  Eric: All they do is bring other confections under the yoke like gumdrops become their lawn ornaments.
• 18:40
  Eric: Okay like candy canes, are their street lights?
• 18:45
  Eric: Like yeah, that's true, it is man.
• 18:48
  Eric: Man made gingerbread in his image and gingerbread man made made other.
• 18:53
  Eric: Cookies in his image in his image or to boost his image.
• 18:57
  Matt: I think what you've said is very smart and very wise.
• 18:59
  Matt: Thank you, and that's the answer, I think.
• 19:01
  Matt: I think gingerbread men are the only true, ginger are the only true Christmas cookie and they force all other cookies to become Vestive nailed it, nailed it, nailed it now I want to know do you build gingerbread houses?
• 19:19
  Eric: I do.
• 19:20
  Eric: I usually just get like a cheap kit.
• 19:22
  Eric: Yeah, I like to Elistic.
• 19:25
  Eric: It's really fucking creative and does really cool shit.
• 19:28
  Eric: Like like experimental shit with her gingerbread houses.
• 19:31
  Eric: I Just want to try my Damnedest to make something that looks like it's from the box.
• 19:40
  Eric: Sure, yeah, I just want to build a little house and then, once I get to my icing decoration, that's when I'll like start put my own flair on it.
• 19:50
  Matt: But that's when you go nuts.
• 19:51
  Eric: But I make this bitch structural, like I'm trying.
• 19:54
  Eric: I'm trying to build this thing to code Sure, yeah, of course, and then paint it whatever I want.
• 19:59
  Eric: Fuck HOA's what if?
• 20:01
  Eric: Osha comes in, you know oh, she don't care what, what color and paint my walls, but yeah, yeah, like they, they're gonna make sure like hey, hey, buddy, this this butchers joint here.
• 20:09
  Eric: Do you put enough icing there in the corner?
• 20:13
  Matt: Absolutely.
• 20:14
  Matt: You got to know.
• 20:14
  Matt: I Say that because a few years ago my brother and his wife and their family started doing like a gingerbread Not competition, but like everybody's making their own thing and it sort of competition of course you do.
• 20:29
  Matt: And it's become a little bit of a sticky point because for some, whatever reason, trying to do a gingerbread from house, from scratch, like sans kit, my moat, my mom just can't get the thing to stand up.
• 20:43
  Matt: She just can't get it going bless her.
• 20:45
  Matt: So it's so recently in the last couple years when Lindsay and I've gone up there They've just gotten a couple of the kits, like you said, and then we just go ham on the decorations.
• 20:54
  Matt: But then I see all these families out here on the tiktok that have like an annual Christmas Gingerbread competition.
• 21:01
  Eric: Somebody's and they're all flawless.
• 21:03
  Matt: They're all flawless.
• 21:04
  Matt: I saw one already where last year I think it was where they made a like a Starbucks counter out of gingerbread it's.
• 21:13
  Matt: It looks exactly like a.
• 21:14
  Eric: Starbucks.
• 21:15
  Eric: It's crazy, crazy.
• 21:16
  Eric: Let me ask you something about your gingerbread Philosophy, your ginger, your gingerbread values.
• 21:22
  Eric: Sure, yeah, there are many Metrics by what which one can judge a gingerbread structure.
• 21:30
  Eric: Okay, I firmly believe anyone that if I made my brain short circuit, All right size.
• 21:44
  Eric: Structural integrity yes.
• 21:50
  Matt: How about edibility?
• 21:53
  Lindsey: That's what I was getting to I.
• 21:55
  Eric: Believe that if you to truly keep to the spirit of a gingerbread house, whatever the fuck you build has to taste good and be edible.
• 22:05
  Eric: And yeah, you got to eat whatever you like, whatever you made at some point, you got to eat that shit.
• 22:12
  Matt: I'm giving you a little bit of pushback, but I agree like now.
• 22:15
  Eric: Granted, if you leave it out for Months, then sure don't eat it.
• 22:20
  Eric: It's stale.
• 22:22
  Matt: But like that's what I was gonna say.
• 22:23
  Matt: What I was gonna say is, in putting up a gingerbread man house, the, I think the main reason you do it is to leave it Displayed there for a little bit.
• 22:33
  Matt: Yeah.
• 22:33
  Matt: Yeah, you gotta look at my creation.
• 22:35
  Matt: Yeah and in doing so, them gumdrops gonna get stale, things are gonna get start getting hard and maybe not the most tasty, yeah, but I agree with you that it has to be edible.
• 22:49
  Eric: Yeah, if you actually introduce Adhesives into your fucking gingerbread, get the fuck out of here.
• 22:55
  Matt: No, the only thing, the only thing I will allow Is if there is a hidden Support structure, maybe some kind board, a piece of cardboard inside the house, for some reason or Load bearing cardboard or you know something like that.
• 23:13
  Matt: You want to do a cool design that you're gonna wrap with, you're gonna bake, you know around until, like a gingerbread, candy cane or some shit like that, sure, sure, if the inside of that's not edible, that's fine.
• 23:25
  Matt: But as a whole, when it comes time, you should be able to take a hammer or just your fist, crush it and be able to just pick it apart like it's bark.
• 23:36
  Matt: Yeah you like a peppermint bark?
• 23:38
  Eric: only now it's gingerbread that is the final moment of victory, that is you like, knocking over your sandcastle once you, once you finish.
• 23:44
  Eric: Yes it is like yes, I get to eat it like a macaizhu.
• 23:48
  Matt: What I like to do.
• 23:49
  Matt: When there's a gingerbread house, it gets a couple days of being like look at this creation, and then it always starts with a gumdrop.
• 23:57
  Matt: I find you just pick something off of there.
• 23:59
  Matt: You just start picking at it.
• 24:01
  Matt: Just hear a M&M here, a candy cane light post there, and then at some point Something structural will fall, something will break, and that's when you can just start.
• 24:14
  Matt: I'm just gonna take a little corner of the roof off and also a defining moment for me.
• 24:20
  Eric: An engine, your bread snare because you're gonna have gingerbread men.
• 24:22
  Eric: Hit me.
• 24:22
  Eric: Gotta have gingerbread men, you gotta have gingerbread they gotta be around at some house.
• 24:25
  Eric: I will bite off ahead and put it back.
• 24:27
  Eric: Okay that's all I just, I just need.
• 24:31
  Eric: Okay, it's me sending a message to the other ginger residents that, um, the end times are coming you feel that's necessary.
• 24:37
  Eric: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 24:40
  Eric: Why do you see the amount of motivation that gingerbread man has has has thrown at Subjugating the other cookies?
• 24:47
  Eric: For now he's his eyes turned towards subjugating the other cookies.
• 24:51
  Eric: But yeah, I need to quell any potential there is for the ginger man, gingerbread man, uprising against me.
• 24:59
  Eric: I need them to know what the score is.
• 25:02
  Matt: Okay, I mean, I guess I see that, but at the same time, it seems like you.
• 25:06
  Matt: If you're worried about the gingerbread men turning their turning their crosshairs on humans, yeah, after they're done with all the cookies, I Think you might not want to pick a fight with them, because they are making their homes, yeah, out of themselves, yeah, yeah, yeah, their own physical structure is what they choose to make their Infrastructure out of yeah.
• 25:33
  Eric: Yeah, it's kind of fucked.
• 25:35
  Matt: It's kind of fucked, don't you think?
• 25:37
  Matt: Now you are picking a fight?
• 25:39
  Matt: What you're basically doing is sending the the you're putting the head on the pike Outside of a castle.
• 25:48
  Eric: Yeah, the only language they understand.
• 25:50
  Eric: The only language they understand is violence.
• 25:53
  Matt: Is that a fact?
• 25:54
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, I amen.
• 25:56
  Matt: I'm so I don't remember that in trek.
• 25:58
  Eric: I ain't been murdered by cookies in my sleep yet.
• 26:00
  Matt: Well, not before this podcast airs.
• 26:03
  Eric: That's true.
• 26:03
  Eric: I do want to be clear.
• 26:04
  Eric: I do a little pizzazz on, so I'll bite the head off, put it back, and then I'll like, if I have some red icing left of red icing, some like oh, very good, yes I want to yes.
• 26:14
  Matt: That's good for the children.
• 26:15
  Matt: Absolutely, mm-hmm, absolutely.
• 26:17
  Matt: Enter that into a town competition.
• 26:20
  Eric: They need to learn at some point.
• 26:21
  Matt: and now, eric, I think it's time we better jump right to our definitive ranking.
• 26:26
  Matt: Yes, of these here misfits even among misfits were misfits.
• 26:31
  Matt: Okay, so, eric and I have prepared our Spreadsheet, our spread of the misfit toys, all 14 of them, and we will begin ranking them, eric.
• 26:42
  Matt: Where should we begin with the misfit toys?
• 26:46
  Eric: Let's begin with, if basically the mascot of Misfit toys.
• 26:52
  Eric: Talk about our boy, charlie in the box.
• 26:56
  Matt: Charlie in the box.
• 26:58
  Matt: Nobody wants a Charlie in the box.
• 27:01
  Matt: Yeah, and he does look evil, it has to be said.
• 27:05
  Matt: His, his eyes and eyebrows are in a permanent downward grimace.
• 27:11
  Eric: Yeah, he's, he's.
• 27:12
  Eric: He's Always looking upset.
• 27:15
  Matt: He's got the look he's got the jowls of a of a nutcracker.
• 27:21
  Eric: Again we are.
• 27:22
  Eric: We are here to judge these misfit toys on their level of misfitness.
• 27:27
  Eric: So Charlie in the box supposed to be a Jack in the box?
• 27:32
  Eric: Yeah but like he could lie, he could say his name's Jack.
• 27:39
  Matt: He could change his name to.
• 27:41
  Eric: Jack and there's.
• 27:42
  Eric: No.
• 27:43
  Eric: It's not like Jack in the boxes are known for like popping out of thing.
• 27:46
  Eric: Oh, go ahead, I got you.
• 27:47
  Eric: It's me Jack, the one from the box.
• 27:50
  Matt: And it's.
• 27:50
  Matt: This isn't shrodinger.
• 27:52
  Matt: Is Jack in the box where, if, as soon as the thing opens, you don't look at him and say, oh, that's not Jack, that's a Charlie, you're not.
• 28:01
  Eric: You don't know the difference between what kid is looking at this dude and going like Mmm, I'm getting Charlie vibes.
• 28:08
  Matt: I'm getting Charlie and, frankly, looking at him, I do not get Charlie vibes.
• 28:14
  Matt: No if anything, I get Dwayne vibes.
• 28:20
  Eric: Dwayne vibes, dwayne vibes.
• 28:23
  Eric: So so that, much to his credit is true, he doesn't give off Charlie vibes.
• 28:28
  Matt: Okay, you're saying he.
• 28:29
  Matt: Even in his name he doesn't seem like a Charlie.
• 28:33
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, like like his looks, he does not have the Charles bearing, or, sorry, he doesn't have a Jack bearing about him.
• 28:42
  Matt: So that is a defect, that it like he doesn't look like a jack or a Charlie is what I'm saying.
• 28:47
  Eric: Yeah, exactly so.
• 28:49
  Eric: So he is kind of like meeting the.
• 28:52
  Eric: He's met the condition that like, okay, you don't give me Jack vibes but a name is just a name.
• 28:58
  Matt: Yeah, you know.
• 29:00
  Eric: He could tell anyone yeah, you tell anyone that he's Jack.
• 29:02
  Eric: Jack in the box, wouldn't?
• 29:04
  Matt: like.
• 29:04
  Matt: I don't think anyone notices.
• 29:06
  Matt: There's nothing inherently defective here.
• 29:09
  Matt: You know what I mean.
• 29:10
  Eric: Yeah, yeah so?
• 29:14
  Matt: Is that the?
• 29:14
  Matt: Is that the barometer that we're using?
• 29:16
  Matt: That they're just defective?
• 29:18
  Matt: Is that what makes them a misfit, or is there something else that makes them misfit?
• 29:22
  Eric: Well, that's the thing.
• 29:23
  Eric: It's not the island of defective toys.
• 29:25
  Matt: It is the island of misfit.
• 29:27
  Eric: So, like what, you know how I'm judging them on.
• 29:30
  Eric: Like, how far did you skew from the, the, the avarage?
• 29:36
  Eric: Like the, the idea of your toy, the guy pops out of the body, like him being named Charlie or Jack, isn't even really central To the type of toy he is all that matters is he's able to put like if it was, if it was, you know, oh, I'm a Jack in the box, but I never come out Like like, okay, cool, that would.
• 29:57
  Eric: That would definitely be a misfit Jack in the box, hundred percent.
• 30:00
  Eric: But he still functions, as best I can tell, as a Jack in the box.
• 30:05
  Eric: I think he's very, very low on his on his misfit quotient.
• 30:11
  Matt: Now we in these definitive rankings yes always like to include our own.
• 30:16
  Matt: One to ten scale, yes.
• 30:18
  Matt: So what is our ranking metric this time around, eric Mmm, how does one scale the Misfitability of a toy?
• 30:28
  Eric: we could.
• 30:29
  Eric: If we wanted a misfit scale, we could do a scale of one to ten.
• 30:33
  Eric: Glenn Danzigs, who is?
• 30:36
  Lindsey: excuse me.
• 30:37
  Eric: Glenn Danzig, lead singer of the misfits, yeah okay maybe so.
• 30:48
  Matt: I know very little about the misfits other than they exist.
• 30:51
  Eric: I, I can, I can tell, I can tell man okay, and it's okay, we do not have to use that scale.
• 30:56
  Matt: That was just funny for me and like five or six other people, a few other humans, sure, and, to your credit, many people know the misfits, of course.
• 31:05
  Matt: Is there something from?
• 31:07
  Matt: How about this?
• 31:08
  Eric: go go off, king one out of ten batteries not included.
• 31:12
  Eric: I Like it.
• 31:15
  Matt: I like it better it's, it's toy based.
• 31:17
  Lindsey: It's toy.
• 31:18
  Lindsey: I like that.
• 31:19
  Matt: Yes, I like one out of ten batteries not included.
• 31:21
  Matt: So Charlie in the box how many batteries?
• 31:26
  Eric: I would say like literally it is the wrong name.
• 31:29
  Eric: I'm gonna assume that in toy culture he would still have to go through the proper legal channels to get his name changed.
• 31:36
  Eric: That's really like the only hurdle.
• 31:38
  Eric: And even then it's not really a hurdle, it's psychological for him mostly.
• 31:42
  Eric: I think he'll be happier on the island.
• 31:45
  Matt: Can't he just get that granted to him by King moonracer?
• 31:49
  Matt: Right who is pretty accommodating the God lion?
• 31:53
  Eric: Yes, God, the head of this island, yeah, so I'd give this like a, like a to.
• 32:02
  Matt: Yeah, like that, even like a one, like doesn't he's just, he's fine, he, he's fine.
• 32:09
  Matt: I'd say what?
• 32:10
  Eric: I say one, say one one and a half.
• 32:13
  Matt: You want to meet in the middle.
• 32:14
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah, one and a half one point, five, one point five great, so yeah, not very misfitty.
• 32:20
  Matt: So that brings us for the dolly, for Sue.
• 32:23
  Eric: So the dolly, I know, does have an established defect, I believe it is that she cannot cry.
• 32:29
  Eric: She's a doll, I know.
• 32:31
  Eric: Oh, oh.
• 32:32
  Eric: No.
• 32:33
  Eric: Apparently it was legitimately never explained in the movie why she's a misfit, as that's what I'm saying.
• 32:41
  Matt: She's just a doll.
• 32:42
  Matt: She's just an frankly ugly doll, as far as I can tell, because she does have a certain certain Homespun vibe.
• 32:52
  Matt: There's a certain Coraline type aspect to her that is frightening.
• 32:58
  Matt: That is frightening.
• 32:59
  Eric: She has no nose somewhere between Coraline and sock puppet.
• 33:04
  Matt: Yes, yes, absolutely Somewhere between Coraline and Lambchop.
• 33:12
  Eric: Yes, yes, yes.
• 33:16
  Matt: Somewhere in that spectrum.
• 33:18
  Matt: There's not much to discuss here.
• 33:20
  Matt: I don't think right.
• 33:21
  Eric: Well worthy piece of trivia is that Dolly's clothing and appearance resembles that of Mary Ann Summers on Gilligan's Island.
• 33:27
  Eric: Oh, it does.
• 33:28
  Eric: However, the resemblance is likely a coincidence because Rudolph premiered in the same year as Gilligan's Island Gilligan's Island's first season.
• 33:35
  Eric: So they would have like they couldn't have known.
• 33:38
  Matt: No, not with all this stop motion.
• 33:40
  Eric: No, they couldn't have known.
• 33:43
  Matt: No, they couldn't have known so, dolly, but it's true she does.
• 33:46
  Eric: Yeah, like I'd put her.
• 33:47
  Eric: I'd put her at a one, just for being kind of like a mid doll.
• 33:51
  Matt: Yeah, I mean, I think she's, you can play with her.
• 33:54
  Matt: You know, it's not like there's anything preventing you from being like, preventing you from loving this toy, from interacting with this toy.
• 34:02
  Eric: If that's the toy you like, I think a one.
• 34:05
  Matt: You know what actually I'd say if we're giving Charlie in the box a one and a half, I think she has to be, yeah, a one in the reverse direction.
• 34:13
  Eric: Yes.
• 34:14
  Matt: Because, like, there's really nothing here, it's just not a top of the line doll.
• 34:17
  Eric: There's nothing intentional.
• 34:19
  Eric: Like you appear to have been built exactly as intended.
• 34:22
  Eric: I agree.
• 34:24
  Matt: Now that brings us to the spotted elephant.
• 34:26
  Eric: Spotted elephant.
• 34:27
  Eric: So this feels like just matters of taste, because I feel like it's not.
• 34:33
  Matt: He looks like a beanie baby, first of all.
• 34:34
  Eric: He looks like a beanie baby.
• 34:35
  Eric: He's the cutest of them.
• 34:37
  Matt: He is the cutest by far Probably so yeah.
• 34:39
  Eric: At one point they give him a little guard outfit, you know like he's like standing guards.
• 34:42
  Eric: It's very cute.
• 34:44
  Lindsey: Mm-hmm.
• 34:44
  Eric: But yeah, the spotted elephant, it's like.
• 34:47
  Eric: I feel like it's not unusual to have stuffed animals that have crazy colors and patterns.
• 34:54
  Eric: Not at all, not one little bit, but maybe in the 70s, this would have been unthinkable, you know, right after a decade of hallucinogens.
• 35:03
  Matt: Well, first of all, his base color is white and there's not that many white elephants in the world, in real life, let alone spotted elephants.
• 35:14
  Lindsey: Yeah.
• 35:14
  Matt: And then the spots are pink.
• 35:15
  Matt: It's really more of a polka dot elephant than it is.
• 35:18
  Matt: Yeah, it's polka dot than just spotted, because there are elephants, I think, that have like splotches on them, not like a, you know, not like a Dalmatian spot, but you know.
• 35:32
  Eric: So what it looks like is that when someone was, you know, manufacturing this elephant doll, I guess the blind elephant doll maker in the factory grabbed the wrong bolt of cloth, maybe so and that's that, and that's it.
• 35:46
  Matt: And then there are some dots on it.
• 35:48
  Matt: I just don't get why they're a miss.
• 35:51
  Eric: And like it's clearly not the color an elephant is supposed to be, I guess, but it's still very, very cute.
• 35:56
  Eric: I get like so this was.
• 36:01
  Eric: This is the first thing we've come with where we have a visual.
• 36:05
  Eric: Okay, I see what's wrong with you Wrong being in massive air quotes.
• 36:09
  Eric: I see what is abnormal about this situation.
• 36:14
  Eric: And if my assumption here is that I just wanted a stuffed elephant that resembles a real little elephant, so like for me this puts it like a two, like okay, there is a, there is a I'm almost basing this like level of explanation I feel like I would have to give someone's like oh, spotted elephant.
• 36:32
  Eric: So yeah, I just wanted a cool elephant with different colors.
• 36:36
  Eric: Like I have to explain why it doesn't look like a normal little elephant.
• 36:40
  Matt: I agree, I agree, I think a two, I think, if the best we can say is there's a defect in the, in the printing, he wasn't, they weren't meant to get the spots, or a different, wrong cloth was used and that's that.
• 36:56
  Matt: That's it, yeah, not very misfit.
• 36:59
  Eric: Not very misfit but meets, I think.
• 37:02
  Eric: Has at least we finally got into a toy where like, okay, I could see the argument for why you think you belong here.
• 37:10
  Matt: I'd say we only go as high as a three, though.
• 37:13
  Eric: Oh yeah, no, I think this guy's a two, I think he's guys.
• 37:16
  Matt: Okay, yeah, I'm with you.
• 37:17
  Matt: I'm with you on that because, frankly, I think we we are only now starting to get to misfit nature with our next candidate, which would be the cowboy that rides an ostrich.
• 37:28
  Eric: Now we're cooking Now.
• 37:30
  Eric: Now we're into, now we're into the weird Now we're into the weird.
• 37:35
  Matt: Yeah, now, if you open up any of the toys before, you're sort of like, oh okay, but if you open up this, oh, you kind of furrow your brow and squint at and be like, is that a cowboy on an ostrich?
• 37:50
  Eric: Now granted, though, not what you were expecting.
• 37:53
  Eric: No, no, kid was over here.
• 37:55
  Eric: I got inside, like my parent was like I'm going to spoil it with you for you, because I'm so excited for you.
• 37:59
  Eric: I bought you this box and in this box, I'm told, is a cowboy toy.
• 38:02
  Eric: And you're like oh, hell yeah.
• 38:05
  Eric: And you think I'm like man, this is a big box.
• 38:09
  Eric: I bet he comes on a uh-oh, uh-huh, oh, what's, what is that?
• 38:14
  Eric: Like?
• 38:14
  Eric: That is enough to where that would warrant a call from the parents to the toy maker to be like hey, did you like miss package this?
• 38:23
  Matt: Because he's riding an ostrich.
• 38:24
  Matt: He's riding an ostrich Now.
• 38:26
  Matt: Ostriches, I feel, are notoriously mean animals, unrightable.
• 38:34
  Eric: And also unrightable, not for a lack of trying on our species part, I'm sure.
• 38:40
  Matt: Now, the ostrich also features in one of my favorite daddisms that my dad ever told me and I think I might have told the story in the podcast before.
• 38:49
  Matt: But one Christmas a number of years ago, when I was feeling kind of existential dread as I'm want to do I said something to the effect of like I think I'd like to cancel my subscription to adulthood.
• 39:01
  Matt: I don't, I don't think I'm enjoying it much and I'd like to.
• 39:05
  Matt: I'd like it to stop.
• 39:06
  Matt: You know, ha, ha, he, he, who, who?
• 39:09
  Matt: And my dad responded by saying or he was reading something, and he did not look up from it when he released the following fatherly advice Well, I guess that's why ostriches stick their heads in the ground.
• 39:26
  Eric: Damn, Damn Poat.
• 39:29
  Matt: Yeah, I'm still chewing on it all these years later.
• 39:32
  Matt: Ooh, what did he mean?
• 39:34
  Matt: Who knows?
• 39:36
  Eric: Who knows that?
• 39:37
  Eric: It but like the meeting.
• 39:39
  Eric: It ludes me, escapes me, but by no means did that feel like anything but a but a backhanded dad moment.
• 39:47
  Eric: Yeah, no, like, like, like it was a burn.
• 39:50
  Matt: It was a burn, and one I don't fully understand to this day.
• 39:54
  Eric: Do you want to know what dadburn I fully understand to this day still Tell me Me.
• 39:58
  Eric: And my dad were walking down the street and I will preface this with my father loves and supports me in everything I do.
• 40:05
  Eric: Okay, but but he did not want me to particularly major in theater.
• 40:11
  Eric: Sure, of course, because he was worried about the career prospects that would offer me.
• 40:14
  Eric: Yeah, of course so this is like when I was like 18, I was still like Mr Smith goes watching, like hey dad, you know I I'm in a major theater.
• 40:20
  Eric: He's like All right, you're paying for it, so that's you do whatever you want.
• 40:23
  Eric: We are walking down the street, we pass a homeless man sitting on the corner, we walk by, give him a dollar and my dad, like we're 10 feet away when he, just like you know, ribs me with his elbow and says See that theater major, hmm, Hmm.
• 40:40
  Matt: I don't like that story Eric.
• 40:42
  Eric: I don't like that story much, but my father showed it comes to all my shows.
• 40:46
  Eric: He comes to every like.
• 40:48
  Eric: He fucking supports everything I do.
• 40:49
  Eric: But he will.
• 40:51
  Eric: He will make me pay the dad tax.
• 40:53
  Eric: He's not father, my father is a.
• 40:55
  Eric: I get my snark from him.
• 40:58
  Matt: He yes, and there's a direct line there.
• 41:01
  Matt: You can see it, you can tell it.
• 41:02
  Matt: But I think I have to say I like it.
• 41:10
  Eric: No, sir, I don't like it.
• 41:10
  Eric: No, sir, mr Pochett, I don't like it.
• 41:15
  Matt: Hear that Rick.
• 41:17
  Eric: Rick, Love you dad.
• 41:19
  Eric: Next toy or no?
• 41:22
  Matt: no, we didn't rank the cowboy the next toy.
• 41:26
  Eric: Which brings us back to the cowboy that rides an ostrich.
• 41:29
  Eric: Thank you, he's quirky, so he's quirky.
• 41:32
  Eric: I'm feeling he's quirky, but like I feel like it, like any kid worth their salt and imagination, be like I'll make this work.
• 41:41
  Matt: If you don't have the imagination that lets you open this up and be like how cool my cowboys on a fucking ostrich Do you deserve to be playing with him.
• 41:54
  Eric: Precisely I this would.
• 41:56
  Eric: If I was the parent who bought this toy or was delivered this toy by Santa Claus, I would have questions for Santa.
• 42:02
  Eric: Like Santa, what were you doing?
• 42:03
  Eric: But and that's what you do.
• 42:05
  Matt: That is exactly.
• 42:06
  Matt: I think this is the first toy on the list that gets us into the neighborhood of like.
• 42:13
  Matt: Yes, Question asking gets us to the point of like how did this happen?
• 42:17
  Matt: How did you come to be?
• 42:19
  Eric: Yes, yes.
• 42:21
  Matt: And for that reason I'm thinking like a four.
• 42:23
  Eric: I was thinking the same fucking thing.
• 42:25
  Eric: My dude lock it in lock it in easy.
• 42:28
  Matt: He is a four and we can move on to the train with square wheels on his caboose.
• 42:33
  Eric: Okay, so that sucks, that sucks, that's a dog shit train You're going that no place.
• 42:39
  Eric: No that, like the, you won't be able to ride it around without it making weird clacky draggy noises.
• 42:48
  Matt: The greatest invention of all time, I think we can all still agree, is the wheel.
• 42:52
  Matt: The wheel.
• 42:53
  Matt: No one wants to reinvent it.
• 42:55
  Matt: We got it right the first time.
• 42:57
  Matt: Yeah and yeah.
• 42:59
  Matt: And the fact that you got squares, I think, immediately means you don't have wheels.
• 43:04
  Matt: You could just say this is a train without wheels.
• 43:08
  Eric: Yes, also, I have to assume that he is unable to disconnect the caboose.
• 43:15
  Matt: I think so.
• 43:16
  Eric: And that brings us to a weird question of like is that equivalent to him?
• 43:19
  Eric: Like cutting off his legs if he does that?
• 43:21
  Eric: So I feel what I'm getting at is it's a package deal.
• 43:24
  Eric: If you're getting this train, you're getting the caboose to square wheels.
• 43:27
  Matt: I don't think there's a way to disconnect his one and only car, which is his caboose.
• 43:33
  Matt: Yeah, and also that's a shitty train, because the fact that it is a caboose indicates that you can't put anything behind it, which maybe, just maybe, would have given him enough momentum that the squares could just grind away on the rails.
• 43:51
  Matt: That can't happen.
• 43:53
  Eric: So the best case scenario for this toy is that it is a decoration on a shelf in your room, because most people will look at it and at a glance they won't even clock that the wheels are square.
• 44:06
  Matt: No, so it's just decoration more than a toy, and that is an important distinction.
• 44:14
  Matt: I think yeah, so the fact that he can't really be played with.
• 44:19
  Eric: Can't do the thing that defines a train.
• 44:25
  Matt: A train.
• 44:26
  Matt: A train is in fact a locomotive and he ain't motivating anywhere.
• 44:34
  Matt: You know what I'm saying.
• 44:36
  Eric: No yeah.
• 44:37
  Matt: I think this is decent.
• 44:38
  Matt: This is a decent score.
• 44:40
  Eric: This is weird.
• 44:41
  Eric: We've got I think this is like a seven or an eight.
• 44:44
  Eric: I was thinking seven because the misfitness of him is, relative to the rest of his mass, pretty small, like it's just one problem, but it's a pretty fucking glaring problem for a train.
• 45:00
  Matt: Seven.
• 45:02
  Eric: Seven.
• 45:02
  Eric: I agree with seven.
• 45:03
  Matt: Seven Scooter for Jimmy is next.
• 45:08
  Eric: Fucking nothing.
• 45:09
  Eric: This is dumb.
• 45:10
  Matt: This is zero.
• 45:10
  Matt: This is stupid.
• 45:11
  Eric: It's a fucking scooter.
• 45:12
  Eric: It's a zero.
• 45:13
  Eric: There's nothing wrong with this toy.
• 45:15
  Matt: He's just sad.
• 45:16
  Matt: He's got a sad face and that's it.
• 45:20
  Eric: Scooter for Jimmy.
• 45:21
  Eric: This is also the same dolly for Sue.
• 45:23
  Eric: Really, the only vibe I get from them is that maybe they didn't make it to their intended owners, where they perhaps stolen.
• 45:29
  Eric: Who can say but either way, they're both fine, they're fine.
• 45:36
  Matt: Zero, I say a zero.
• 45:38
  Matt: For Scooter.
• 45:38
  Matt: For Jimmy Zero, I say zero.
• 45:40
  Matt: He is a perfectly acceptable toy.
• 45:43
  Matt: He might just suffer from some self-esteem issues and what we need is to get him into a toy therapist and he'll be all right.
• 45:50
  Eric: Yeah, which brings us to the one that pisses me off the most Okay Water pistol that squirts jelly.
• 45:56
  Matt: All right.
• 45:56
  Matt: Why is it angry, you so Dog?
• 45:59
  Matt: How?
• 45:59
  Eric: much jelly.
• 46:00
  Eric: Are you full of that?
• 46:02
  Eric: You have just accepted that you are always going to be squirting jelly and that you can't just take the jelly out and put water in this is the most correctable of all the things.
• 46:13
  Eric: This is the easiest to correct, I agree, Is the water pistol full of jelly.
• 46:19
  Eric: Take the fucking jelly, rinse the shit out, run some water for you to.
• 46:23
  Eric: You are golden my guy Also.
• 46:27
  Matt: it's not like you're.
• 46:28
  Matt: It's a pistol full of tar.
• 46:30
  Matt: It's not a pistol full of poison, it's just jelly, it's just jelly.
• 46:37
  Eric: So like like just empty it out.
• 46:39
  Eric: I mean, like when he like in the he, when he demonstrated that he squirts jelly, I feel like he squirted out a fuck ton of jelly.
• 46:49
  Lindsey: So like that could have been it.
• 46:50
  Eric: That could have been all of it, and they're at the fucking North.
• 46:54
  Matt: Pole and it's squirt.
• 46:56
  Matt: And it squirts fine.
• 46:58
  Matt: One should point out it.
• 46:59
  Matt: It doesn't like dribble out, it's a proper.
• 47:02
  Matt: It's a proper shot, it's not like a pistol full of pus.
• 47:07
  Eric: No, it's like it's a good, it's like a good square gun.
• 47:10
  Matt: It's a fine square gun.
• 47:11
  Matt: All you need to do is clean it out and fix it up and it's good to go.
• 47:16
  Matt: And in cleaning it, he's full of what he's supposed to be water.
• 47:20
  Matt: Yeah.
• 47:22
  Eric: You can't fuck up filling it with water.
• 47:25
  Matt: I think if we gave Dolly for Sue A one and a scooter for Jimmy is zero, because he's a perfectly fine toy.
• 47:33
  Eric: Is this our first point five?
• 47:34
  Matt: I think this is a point five.
• 47:36
  Eric: This is a point five, one hundred percent.
• 47:38
  Matt: I think there's a point five, because all you got to do is a little tweak and he's good, he's, he's golden and speaking at golden.
• 47:44
  Matt: Speaking of things being golden and things being good to go, let's talk about the bird that swims.
• 47:51
  Eric: Yeah, so a Lot of birds can swim.
• 47:55
  Eric: First of all, a lot of birds can swim.
• 47:56
  Eric: There we go they can either float or they can dive underwater and swim now, to his credit, it does look like the bird that swims is a type of bird that is not meant to swim.
• 48:08
  Eric: Looks kind of like like an owl.
• 48:12
  Matt: Yeah, he doesn't look like one one of these here diving birds, and he doesn't look like a duck and he doesn't look like a penguin, no, and who only swims he looks like a quail, oh yeah, and he's got a Nose for some reason, as opposed to a beak.
• 48:31
  Eric: Yes, yeah, he has a mouth and nose.
• 48:35
  Eric: In fact, he doesn't have a beak, really he does not have a beak, he has a mouth and nose, a quail feather top.
• 48:41
  Eric: I feel like they buried the lead here with the swimming part almost nothing about him.
• 48:47
  Matt: Looks like a no.
• 48:48
  Eric: It, aside from his two wing like a penges, but those also, I think they like his limp wings and the feather come in straight out of his dome really the only indication that he's a bird.
• 49:00
  Matt: I agree with you, eric.
• 49:02
  Matt: I don't think he.
• 49:04
  Matt: I think I think he's not focusing on his real issue, which is he doesn't have a beak.
• 49:09
  Matt: Yeah so in that respect he earns more points that way than the non-swimming.
• 49:16
  Eric: Yeah he is a misfit toy, but not for the reasons he thinks.
• 49:21
  Eric: Can he fly?
• 49:22
  Eric: No, I don't believe he can.
• 49:24
  Eric: I think in the movie he's walking the whole time.
• 49:27
  Eric: Well, we'll unpack that can of worms in a bit.
• 49:30
  Eric: I he's only depicted Swimming or, I think, walking around.
• 49:34
  Eric: At no point he flies.
• 49:36
  Matt: Okay, all right, so he can't fly, even if he were to be real and not just a toy, yeah, okay, that's a negative, but that's just a penguin like.
• 49:45
  Eric: I feel like he fucked this up by, like, by putting a positive, like he should have just been, like I'm a bird that can't fly, but even then, there are plenty of flightless birds.
• 49:56
  Eric: But like he didn't say, I'm a bird who can't.
• 49:58
  Eric: Like I'm a bird that can swim, which is something that, like, all birds can do, but he does lack a beak.
• 50:05
  Eric: He does lack of a he and has a nose.
• 50:09
  Matt: I think he focused on his wrong.
• 50:11
  Eric: Yeah, I focus on the wrong defect.
• 50:13
  Matt: He's lacking one of the one of the biggest things that defines him as a bird but so if we focus on his facial changes, I think From that angle he can get more points than he would otherwise because.
• 50:28
  Matt: I think otherwise he might just be a zero.
• 50:30
  Eric: Yeah.
• 50:31
  Matt: I'm thinking maybe like a.
• 50:32
  Matt: Five I Think a five you'd have to replace the, the toys head, and while we're in the water, why don't we talk a little bit about the boat that can't stay afloat?
• 50:44
  Eric: All right, fair, and he even demonstrates it, which is kind of wild.
• 50:49
  Eric: And say no masochistic to me, cuz he was like oh yeah guys.
• 50:53
  Eric: Like makes us all watch him drown for a second.
• 50:59
  Matt: He feels the need to prove it.
• 51:00
  Eric: Yeah, he's like no, please trust me, I cannot stay afloat, but I feel like that's fixable.
• 51:05
  Eric: I feel like that's easily fixable by any, any parent worth their, their.
• 51:10
  Eric: There's like, if you just get some like wood glue or something seal?
• 51:13
  Matt: Why can't he stay afloat?
• 51:15
  Matt: Do we know?
• 51:16
  Eric: now he just straight up starts sinking.
• 51:19
  Matt: Yeah, but is it because of a hole?
• 51:20
  Matt: Is it because he's too heavy?
• 51:22
  Matt: Or was he not buoyant enough?
• 51:23
  Matt: You know?
• 51:24
  Eric: do we know that when he sinks, he does, if memory serves, tip up Allah Titanic.
• 51:32
  Eric: Allah Titanic and goes down without the whole midsection snapping which they now believe may not have actually Happened the way they thought it did or as dramatically as they thought it did.
• 51:43
  Eric: But uh, but yeah, and then he just goes straight down, like he sinks, like a boat that has a lower hull, like there's something on the bottom there.
• 51:54
  Matt: So he needs to be repaired again.
• 51:56
  Eric: Yeah, like there's just need, like there's a hole somewhere on the bottom and they need to fill it in with Something either that or one end of him is too heavy or he's too heavy.
• 52:07
  Eric: That could be a problem which much harder to fix, because that would require removing his Internal toy organs.
• 52:14
  Matt: Yeah, okay.
• 52:15
  Matt: So we said basically that this is a fixable problem, but maybe not.
• 52:21
  Eric: But maybe not maybe not so so that that does.
• 52:25
  Eric: It's gonna require some diagnostics and that that will.
• 52:29
  Eric: That will take some work.
• 52:32
  Matt: Diagnostics that probably maybe most parents wouldn't deal with yeah, they just say oh well, don't we'll just get a better boat.
• 52:40
  Eric: Get a better boat, or maybe this becomes your, your, your sandbox boat.
• 52:44
  Eric: Yeah a shipwreck boat.
• 52:46
  Eric: Shipwreck boat.
• 52:47
  Eric: Now it's just scenery for, like when you're playing inside and you're like oh, we're the bomb or or or much like the Train with square wheels which I'm realizing.
• 52:58
  Matt: You could just grind those into a circle and then their wheels again.
• 53:01
  Eric: Wouldn't that hurt it though.
• 53:03
  Matt: Yeah okay.
• 53:03
  Matt: Okay.
• 53:05
  Eric: I just wanted to make sure we said it out loud.
• 53:07
  Eric: I'm just offering solutions.
• 53:09
  Matt: Anyway, what I was gonna say, he'd just be decoration.
• 53:12
  Matt: He just put them on a shelf.
• 53:13
  Matt: Yeah but who wants to see?
• 53:15
  Eric: the boat would.
• 53:15
  Matt: All would be like, right next to the train, be deck decorative toy, and by that metric we gave this the train with square wheels a seven.
• 53:25
  Matt: I think this might be something more like a six or a five and a half.
• 53:29
  Eric: I would say, if I would say like a six, I'd be comfortable with a six, all right, it's got it's gotta be like I gotta figure out the fuck's wrong with it.
• 53:35
  Eric: No, all right.
• 53:37
  Matt: I don't want you to be uncomfortable, so let's say six.
• 53:39
  Eric: Okay.
• 53:40
  Matt: How about the winged bear?
• 53:42
  Eric: winged bear.
• 53:42
  Eric: So this one, this falls it.
• 53:45
  Eric: So there's a Full disclosure.
• 53:47
  Eric: There's like a bunch of toys that are shown in the movie on the island of misfit toys More than this list covers, mm-hmm, because there's like five to eight of them that, from the looks of things, have Absolutely nothing fucking wrong with it.
• 54:02
  Eric: Like there's two tin soldiers that look totally normal, totally normal rocking horse, totally normal blue car.
• 54:08
  Eric: We did not include doesn't make sense does not make sense.
• 54:13
  Eric: No winged bear Okay, this one pretty cut and dry in terms of yep.
• 54:17
  Eric: Okay, that's a bear with wings.
• 54:19
  Matt: I guess you weren't supposed to have wings, my dude to which I'd say are you not supposed to have an Imagination either?
• 54:25
  Eric: Yeah, but like if you look at the picture, the bear with wings, it's not like he they call it wings, it's more like a bear with a chicken's tail, like a bird, like a bird's true, the wings, quote-unquote, are sort of coming out of his ass come right out his little bear booty and they does not look cool because like a bear with wings.
• 54:46
  Matt: That's bad ass, that's can you imagine a In real life, a bear that could fly?
• 54:54
  Matt: Horrifying.
• 54:55
  Eric: They'd conquer the world.
• 54:57
  Eric: Conquer the world, but that's not what we're gonna get planet of the apes, this would be bear land.
• 55:02
  Eric: You, this would bear land, bear island, bear island, bear island.
• 55:06
  Eric: That's very good.
• 55:08
  Eric: But this bear with butt wing like not that's sorry, I'm gonna stop calling them wings, butt feathers it's a bear with butt feathers but, feathers.
• 55:14
  Eric: It's fucking lame.
• 55:15
  Eric: It could be remedy, like just pull them off, but again, I don't know how attached they are.
• 55:20
  Eric: These might be like that might cause.
• 55:22
  Eric: That might be like ripping off his tailbone or something.
• 55:24
  Eric: So like, yeah, this kind of sucks, I'm not gonna play with this.
• 55:30
  Eric: It doesn't look cool.
• 55:31
  Eric: It doesn't even look like it's, it's just awkward.
• 55:35
  Matt: It doesn't look quirky.
• 55:37
  Matt: It doesn't look quirky, it looks lazy the idea of a winged bear is fun, but this is not that this is a bear with feathers in his butt.
• 55:46
  Eric: So even by the metric of him being a misfit, like even that, he's like I'm a winged bear and all the other toys are like okay.
• 55:53
  Matt: Couldn't we just pull him out?
• 55:55
  Eric: That's what I'm saying, like it might hurt, that that might be like it's gonna hurt.
• 55:59
  Eric: Yeah, see, that's like that sucks, cuz you gotta look at the bear or do it like you gotta watch Watch him suffer.
• 56:08
  Matt: You know, birds lose feathers all the time.
• 56:10
  Matt: They might fall out.
• 56:11
  Eric: It's true and it's exactly like looking at the picture, it looks like precisely three feathers.
• 56:17
  Eric: It does look that they didn't even give him like a turkey tail or like a peat, like a badass, like fanning it's truly a mistake is.
• 56:26
  Eric: It is truly a mistake, which gives him more points to me.
• 56:29
  Matt: I agree.
• 56:30
  Eric: I think that gets him to Maybe seven and a half or seven and a half or eight, I would say Seven and a half.
• 56:42
  Matt: I'm good with the seven and a half that puts them in the lead, because it's not even an interesting defect?
• 56:47
  Matt: No, it's just sort of like huh.
• 56:49
  Matt: Yeah, I wouldn't want to play with you if he had wings I'd be like I want to play with you actively if he had wings, I'd play with him every day.
• 56:59
  Eric: I'd play with that bear every day, but not with dumb butt wings now let's talk about the airplane that can't fly.
• 57:06
  Eric: So are we both aligned in this?
• 57:09
  Eric: I don't know, because I feel like Again say something, and then I'd know with the, and we have to keep in mind when this movie was made in like the 70s.
• 57:22
  Eric: So I feel like in the 70s You'd be really fucking hard-pressed to find a toy plane that can fly under its own power, like exactly that we are aligned in this.
• 57:38
  Matt: This is my question Are you supposed to fly?
• 57:40
  Matt: Are?
• 57:40
  Eric: you supposed to fly?
• 57:41
  Eric: Because you're clearly You're not like a glider or anything, so it's not like I'm gonna, you're still a toy plane.
• 57:47
  Eric: Yeah, I feel like it's my job to hold you and go Like a child playing with a toy, like a child playing with a toy.
• 57:57
  Matt: None of the.
• 57:57
  Matt: It's not the misfit, you know Inventions, it's just a plane that can't fly.
• 58:04
  Matt: If anything, I think his big defect is that his face is on his Bottom and not because those are his wheels coming off.
• 58:13
  Eric: The face is on the bottom, which is really weird, which is weird, but that's it.
• 58:19
  Matt: Otherwise you're fine.
• 58:21
  Matt: I still got to put you between my little thumb and index finger and go.
• 58:26
  Eric: Yeah, I'd say this is like a one at the most, and that's just because he has a face on a bottom.
• 58:33
  Matt: I'd say I'm good with a one, maybe a one and a half, because you can't move the face you can't move the face one and a half.
• 58:41
  Eric: I'd say one and a half.
• 58:43
  Matt: One and a half Charlie.
• 58:45
  Eric: Charlie in the box tier.
• 58:46
  Matt: He's Charlie in the box tier.
• 58:48
  Matt: I agree, and that's what we gave Charlie.
• 58:50
  Matt: So there you go.
• 58:50
  Matt: Now let's talk about the wind up mouse that is in a set of nesting clown dolls.
• 58:58
  Eric: So, so.
• 58:59
  Eric: So here's where I'm torn, because the, the nesting dolls, I feel like that's the, the toy that it's supposed to be.
• 59:07
  Eric: Yeah, you get to the center and in the center there's a.
• 59:10
  Eric: There's the set.
• 59:11
  Eric: There's nothing more disappointing on this earth.
• 59:14
  Eric: And opening up nesting dolls and knowing you hit the end like Like oh, this is missing.
• 59:20
  Eric: The, the center, most Nesting thing.
• 59:23
  Eric: Yeah, this is yeah.
• 59:24
  Eric: But in this case it's like okay, you failed the nesting doll assignment, but you do get a cute little wind up mouse.
• 59:32
  Eric: It's a surprise inside, it's a surprise.
• 59:35
  Matt: Inside it's a.
• 59:36
  Matt: You're not expecting to see that that thing also.
• 59:39
  Matt: These nesting dolls are.
• 59:42
  Matt: Most nesting dolls are split Horizontally.
• 59:45
  Matt: You take them and inside is the other one.
• 59:48
  Matt: You take off the top.
• 59:50
  Eric: These open like a book yeah, so they weren't built correctly.
• 59:54
  Matt: They open they're all hinge are all hinge from that point of view, it's a bad nesting doll or at least an abnormal Nesting doll from the get from the get.
• 1:00:06
  Matt: And then you got this mouse inside, which I actually think Elevates it.
• 1:00:11
  Matt: Yeah, the mouse is cool because it's unexpected.
• 1:00:14
  Eric: Yeah, up until this point in the toy, we have only experienced the meta of hinges.
• 1:00:20
  Matt: now we're getting into clockwork Hell yeah, and it's a, it's a toy mouse.
• 1:00:25
  Matt: Still, it's not like oh, there's a rodent in here, you, there's vermin in here.
• 1:00:30
  Eric: No, he's a cute little mouse.
• 1:00:32
  Eric: I could play so many jokes and japes with a wind up mouse.
• 1:00:35
  Eric: Are you kidding?
• 1:00:37
  Matt: Absolutely so I think this, I Don't know.
• 1:00:42
  Eric: I.
• 1:00:42
  Eric: I feel like the nesting doll sucks ass.
• 1:00:44
  Eric: Yeah but the mouse rules.
• 1:00:48
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:00:48
  Eric: I'd say this is like like the nesting doll, at most just gonna be like oh, this is the kind of shitty box I keep my bitch in wind up mouse in.
• 1:00:57
  Eric: But the wind up mouse works great.
• 1:00:59
  Eric: The wind up that's.
• 1:01:01
  Eric: That's what's coming up.
• 1:01:02
  Eric: Is the wind up mouse can just like Ditch the nesting dolls.
• 1:01:08
  Eric: It stands on its own.
• 1:01:10
  Matt: It's a wind up mouse toy if he was just a mouse, a wind up mouse, he works perfectly fine.
• 1:01:16
  Matt: If he was just a nesting doll, it's a little unusual to see it vertically and not a horizontally, but it still is a nesting doll, it's fine.
• 1:01:24
  Matt: Yeah, so it's only the juxtaposition of the two of them being together, and I actually think that's kind of nice, yeah it's kind of neat, neat, little delivery.
• 1:01:35
  Matt: I don't think you should.
• 1:01:36
  Eric: I don't think you should consider his uniqueness a defect, no, a Misfit unless we're going by the literal definition of misfit, in which he was miss, misfitted, misplaced into a misplaced.
• 1:01:51
  Matt: The two of them could separate and be like you do your own thing and I'm gonna do my own thing.
• 1:01:56
  Matt: But assuming they can't because they're so close, I would say, I Don't know a three maybe three.
• 1:02:04
  Eric: I was gonna say a two or three.
• 1:02:05
  Eric: Let's go with three.
• 1:02:07
  Matt: I don't think we've given a three yet so there you go.
• 1:02:09
  Matt: Now we got two left, and the first one is a pink fire truck.
• 1:02:12
  Eric: Yes, meh.
• 1:02:15
  Eric: I mean I guess in the sense that like if we're trying, like if we're going back to the 70s and like they're fucking like getting hung up on like Traditional gender roles for toys, I guess they wouldn't have wanted to give little Billy a pink fire truck.
• 1:02:29
  Matt: Which is dumb and also, fire trucks are not blue or something.
• 1:02:34
  Matt: They're red.
• 1:02:34
  Matt: This is not that far off.
• 1:02:36
  Matt: If anything, it's a faded.
• 1:02:38
  Matt: Yeah, fire truck.
• 1:02:39
  Matt: Yeah, you just just the wrong color.
• 1:02:42
  Matt: Yeah and is it the wrong color, or is it just not the traditional?
• 1:02:46
  Eric: color exactly pink.
• 1:02:47
  Eric: Fire truck fucking rules.
• 1:02:48
  Matt: It still works.
• 1:02:49
  Matt: Yeah, it still does what it's supposed to do as a toy.
• 1:02:54
  Matt: Yeah, I think.
• 1:02:55
  Matt: For me this is a point two, five.
• 1:02:59
  Eric: Yeah, order of a point.
• 1:03:00
  Eric: Yeah, cuz like it's not even like.
• 1:03:03
  Eric: The spotted elephant was a much bigger departure than the pink fire truck.
• 1:03:08
  Matt: Yeah, and what we gave the water pistol?
• 1:03:10
  Matt: The point five, cuz it's correctable.
• 1:03:12
  Matt: This is like not really correctable, I guess.
• 1:03:15
  Matt: So you don't even go to the.
• 1:03:18
  Matt: I mean, you could paint it, actually you could just paint it.
• 1:03:21
  Matt: So maybe a point seven, five, because it's a slightly more involved code of paint.
• 1:03:26
  Matt: It's a code of paint point seven five.
• 1:03:28
  Matt: How about that?
• 1:03:29
  Matt: Point seven five.
• 1:03:30
  Matt: Okay, so that brings us To the head honcho himself, king moon racer.
• 1:03:36
  Eric: King moon racer.
• 1:03:38
  Eric: This is.
• 1:03:39
  Eric: This is the can of worms I kind of want to address earlier.
• 1:03:42
  Matt: Yeah, take it, take it away, open it up and take it from me who, ironically, is the like the size of an actual lion.
• 1:03:51
  Eric: Yes can fly, speaks in a booming, godlike voice and is accompanied by this aura of power.
• 1:04:03
  Matt: Yeah, but he travels the globe Every night, actually every day, looking for toys that need his help.
• 1:04:10
  Eric: He pulls the Santa Claus lap 365 days a year.
• 1:04:15
  Matt: But he calls himself, he refers to himself as a toy.
• 1:04:19
  Eric: That's.
• 1:04:19
  Eric: And that is where I think he scores a lot of points because he's not.
• 1:04:26
  Eric: I think he's not a toy.
• 1:04:28
  Eric: I don't think he's a toy at all.
• 1:04:30
  Eric: He and the Rudolph the Red Dose reindeer Wikipedia claim he is a toy.
• 1:04:36
  Eric: Dog is a like bro is a God.
• 1:04:42
  Matt: He's a God.
• 1:04:43
  Matt: He is a God at worst.
• 1:04:46
  Eric: I'm guessing he's the one who built all these little houses for the misfit toys to live in.
• 1:04:51
  Eric: He has a fucking castle.
• 1:04:54
  Matt: Yeah, so yeah, I'm looking now at the fandom page for King Moonracer on Rudolph the Red Dose reindeer wiki.
• 1:05:04
  Eric: And he sounds like this.
• 1:05:06
  Matt: No, wait a minute.
• 1:05:07
  Matt: No.
• 1:05:08
  Matt: It also doesn't say that he's a toy.
• 1:05:10
  Matt: It says winged lion toy under his species, but it doesn't actually say that under his like description.
• 1:05:18
  Eric: Oh yeah, but that's I mean.
• 1:05:19
  Eric: That's I mean unless you're calling into question the integrity of the Rudolph the Red Dose reindeer Wikipedia, which is that.
• 1:05:25
  Eric: Is that what's happening?
• 1:05:26
  Eric: That?
• 1:05:27
  Matt: But, no, never.
• 1:05:28
  Matt: But he does fly like, he is, magical, like he has.
• 1:05:32
  Eric: He fucking flies.
• 1:05:34
  Eric: He is definitely the most like.
• 1:05:38
  Eric: I'm not trying to grade sentience here, but he seems to be the most like, human, like intelligence here.
• 1:05:45
  Eric: I don't think he's a toy.
• 1:05:47
  Matt: I don't think he's a toy, I think he's a fucking God.
• 1:05:49
  Matt: I think he's a God and for that I think he gets an NA A, not a pick, not a pick.
• 1:05:57
  Eric: He broke.
• 1:05:58
  Eric: He broke the scale, like it.
• 1:06:00
  Eric: It is misfit in the in the sense that, okay, yeah, he's not even a toy.
• 1:06:06
  Eric: That so like.
• 1:06:07
  Eric: That makes me wonder if he's a fucking 10 because like, oh, you're a bad toy, he's like dog, I'm not even a toy, I'm a God.
• 1:06:13
  Eric: Yeah, you were.
• 1:06:15
  Eric: Oh, I see what you, you are the.
• 1:06:18
  Eric: It's maxed out, it's, it's like.
• 1:06:22
  Eric: Here I am with my toy meter.
• 1:06:23
  Eric: Oh, it's only 3.5 runkin it's like.
• 1:06:26
  Eric: But that's only because it's as high as the scale goes.
• 1:06:30
  Matt: I don't think he's a toy and therefore I don't think he can be ranked on the list.
• 1:06:36
  Eric: Batteries not included.
• 1:06:37
  Eric: He can't even take batteries.
• 1:06:39
  Eric: He's a God.
• 1:06:41
  Matt: He doesn't need him.
• 1:06:41
  Matt: I think.
• 1:06:42
  Matt: I think it's an NA, my friend, I think it's a disqualification.
• 1:06:46
  Eric: He's.
• 1:06:46
  Eric: He gets a God lion out of 10.
• 1:06:50
  Eric: Like he gets a, it's not on this lit, it's not on the scale, it's beyond.
• 1:06:55
  Matt: No, and and for that reason I leave him off.
• 1:06:58
  Matt: So is there anything we want to tweak or adjust?
• 1:07:02
  Matt: Looking at the list, eric, no, before we reveal the ranking no, I think I feel pretty good about these.
• 1:07:10
  Eric: What I will say is this I'm going to stop looking at the list before I've.
• 1:07:13
  Eric: I would say, in order to qualify to be on the island of misfit toys, you need to score at least a five, In which case almost not all of these toys are getting evicted.
• 1:07:26
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, they should just go out and be be toys.
• 1:07:29
  Matt: They're fine because here's what we have.
• 1:07:33
  Matt: Here's what we have, and then you tell me if we're satisfied.
• 1:07:35
  Lindsey: OK.
• 1:07:37
  Matt: The scooter for Jimmy is zero.
• 1:07:38
  Matt: Dumb water pistol that squirts.
• 1:07:41
  Eric: Jelly is a point five makes me angrier because it's dumb pink firetruck, point seven five slap a coat of paint on it.
• 1:07:48
  Matt: We've been through three toys before.
• 1:07:50
  Matt: We gave someone a fucking point, and that's Dolly Fersu.
• 1:07:53
  Matt: One battery not included.
• 1:07:54
  Matt: Sorry, you're a mids toy, charlie in the box and airplane that can fly point and a half.
• 1:07:59
  Eric: Yeah, change your name.
• 1:08:00
  Eric: You're a plane, you're not toy plane, not supposed to fly, fuck off.
• 1:08:04
  Matt: Spotted elephant to your cute windup mouse and a set of nesting dolls.
• 1:08:08
  Eric: Three perfectly fine working toy inside of a weird box.
• 1:08:11
  Matt: My man, the cowboy Ryan, and an oscarge.
• 1:08:13
  Eric: Silly, but you have imagination, won't matter.
• 1:08:16
  Matt: Those, that's a four, all of those majority list.
• 1:08:20
  Eric: Majority of under five.
• 1:08:21
  Eric: Get the fuck out of here your toys by see you, king moon racer.
• 1:08:26
  Matt: Not applicable.
• 1:08:27
  Matt: Not a place, he's a God.
• 1:08:28
  Matt: He's a God.
• 1:08:28
  Matt: He might as well be in line with the wardrobe.
• 1:08:31
  Eric: Yeah, he is.
• 1:08:32
  Eric: He's as land at home.
• 1:08:34
  Eric: Bird that swims has a five first one.
• 1:08:37
  Eric: All right, you belong here Also.
• 1:08:38
  Eric: You don't have a beak.
• 1:08:39
  Matt: What the fuck boat that can't say a float.
• 1:08:42
  Eric: Yeah, one job can't do it.
• 1:08:44
  Matt: Rain with square wheels on its caboose literally on play, play with the ball.
• 1:08:48
  Matt: And what we ranked is the highest and is actually the surprising seven and a half for the winged bear.
• 1:08:53
  Matt: He's not a winged bear.
• 1:08:55
  Eric: He's not a winged bear, he's just bear with feathers on his butt.
• 1:08:58
  Eric: He's the.
• 1:08:59
  Eric: I like that.
• 1:09:00
  Eric: The highest rating one is also the lamest.
• 1:09:02
  Eric: It is like all right, yep, you are first among losers, congratulations.
• 1:09:08
  Matt: Yeah, it's just confusing.
• 1:09:09
  Matt: But part of me I'm having a struggle with it because he's just not that special, you know like yeah, like there's no redeeming qualities to this toy for me no, well, no no, the training redeeming qualities less than the train without a caboose with wheels.
• 1:09:29
  Eric: I could just throw that on the shelf and it can be a display train winged bear If I put that on the shelf I'm gonna have for the wing I can, but I'm not getting.
• 1:09:36
  Eric: I'm gonna get questions about it every time and I won't have an answer beyond I.
• 1:09:42
  Matt: And all those feathers are just coming out of his butthole.
• 1:09:44
  Matt: What can I say?
• 1:09:45
  Eric: Yeah, they just there.
• 1:09:46
  Eric: They're there.
• 1:09:47
  Eric: Why do you have him?
• 1:09:48
  Eric: I don't know.
• 1:09:49
  Eric: My, my uncle, my uncle gave it to you for before that terrible gingerbread accident.
• 1:09:56
  Matt: Mmm, mmm.
• 1:09:56
  Matt: And now you got to talk about that family tragedy.
• 1:10:00
  Eric: Right, like the only reason I would keep that is.
• 1:10:03
  Eric: Some incredibly beloved person in my life gave it to me and then was, you know, mysteriously killed in a gingerbread accident.
• 1:10:13
  Eric: There you go, and then I have to relive that trauma every time.
• 1:10:15
  Eric: Yeah, he belongs here.
• 1:10:16
  Eric: Don't put that.
• 1:10:17
  Eric: Don't put that emotional labor on me, winged bear, don't do that to me bud.
• 1:10:21
  Matt: So, winged bear, you are the king of the misfits, despite King Moonracer actually being the king of the Midsfets, because he is God, king of the God.
• 1:10:30
  Matt: So that is that.
• 1:10:33
  Matt: That's our holiday definitive ranking for you this year.
• 1:10:36
  Matt: Took a bit of time there, but we do need to knock out part two of round two of season three of Google Grimes.
• 1:10:47
  Matt: Eric, that would mean ding, ding, ding me.
• 1:10:51
  Matt: Oh, it's your turn, baby Now.
• 1:10:53
  Matt: If memory serves, eric, you did a perfect, clean sweep last time out.
• 1:10:59
  Eric: Indeed, I did.
• 1:11:00
  Eric: Three out of three babies still ride that high.
• 1:11:03
  Matt: The current score after one and a half rounds would be five to three, because I did a perfect score last go round and you missed one your first round.
• 1:11:16
  Matt: So five to three you.
• 1:11:17
  Eric: So you'll have to get two of these to tie three to be.
• 1:11:21
  Matt: And I should say, of course, if you are new to us, the Google gripes segment is a little game Eric and I play where we read one star Google reviews of well known places and the other person tries to guess them, and we've done three seasons of them and here we are, and here we go, eric, I'm ready.
• 1:11:39
  Eric: All right, here we go.
• 1:11:40
  Eric: Location one review, number one hit me Beautiful views, but disappointment place.
• 1:11:47
  Eric: Everything is closed, Nothing really here.
• 1:11:50
  Eric: Four hours of travel wasted.
• 1:11:52
  Eric: I understand is a seasonal place, but at least have something like a small groceries and vending machines for tourists available.
• 1:12:00
  Eric: We were charged for going into the park but once is inside nothing was open or a available.
• 1:12:07
  Eric: Had to return one hour back to get a water of water.
• 1:12:11
  Eric: I'll say that again had to return one hour back to get a water of water seems dumb.
• 1:12:17
  Matt: Oh, you didn't miss, you didn't miss speak, it's water of water.
• 1:12:20
  Eric: Yeah, to get a water.
• 1:12:21
  Eric: Of water seems dumb being a world wonder, hmm.
• 1:12:26
  Eric: Review number two Don't go in early October.
• 1:12:32
  Eric: We was expecting sunshine, like in Las Vegas where we was staying.
• 1:12:36
  Eric: We got there, we had rain.
• 1:12:38
  Eric: You could not actually see, the blank was covered in fog.
• 1:12:40
  Eric: So a wasted journey and wasted day overall.
• 1:12:43
  Eric: Okay.
• 1:12:44
  Eric: Review number three this is the worst place in the whole world.
• 1:12:50
  Eric: Lol, get it.
• 1:12:55
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:12:57
  Eric: End of review.
• 1:12:58
  Matt: Hmm, can I ask how whole is spelled?
• 1:13:02
  Matt: You may, ok, how is?
• 1:13:06
  Matt: How is all spelled?
• 1:13:09
  Eric: Jesus Christ H-O-L-E.
• 1:13:12
  Matt: OK, I had some more exciting guesses, but I don't think I'm going to fuck around with them.
• 1:13:22
  Matt: Is this the Grand Canyon?
• 1:13:25
  Eric: It is the Grand Canyon.
• 1:13:26
  Matt: OK, all right.
• 1:13:27
  Matt: Good, I had some more.
• 1:13:28
  Matt: I had some more exciting ideas, but the whole gave it away from me.
• 1:13:33
  Matt: Whether or not you decided to spell it out for me, that was going to be what I guessed on.
• 1:13:39
  Eric: I mean when they wrote the review they wrote like whole in all caps, so I had to put that emphasis there.
• 1:13:45
  Matt: OK, yes, that sounds good, great.
• 1:13:48
  Matt: Yes, all right, great.
• 1:13:49
  Matt: I'm off to the races, so that is one for one so far, baby.
• 1:13:53
  Matt: One for one so far.
• 1:13:56
  Eric: All right, this is for the tie.
• 1:13:57
  Eric: This is for the tie.
• 1:13:59
  Eric: Next location Review number one appalling how you can false, advertise so well and say how amazing and beautiful the blank still is.
• 1:14:09
  Eric: You advertise the dream blank experience but provide a rock with minimal amount of fish, let alone different species of sea life.
• 1:14:19
  Eric: The food on the boat was defrosted at best and had no flavor and was water bound, soaked.
• 1:14:25
  Eric: I could not peel the prawns as the shell was soggy and deteriorating and the smell from them was as you would get them fishing with bait prawns.
• 1:14:34
  Eric: The boat was very unclean.
• 1:14:36
  Eric: The air vent for the air con were heavily blocked with fluff and grim.
• 1:14:40
  Eric: Inside, close to the windows, were ledges built into lounge booths to sit at.
• 1:14:46
  Eric: They had what looked like a shark, took a chunk out of them and now see the falling apart chipboard looking material.
• 1:14:54
  Eric: It smelled bad inside.
• 1:14:55
  Eric: I would never recommend the tour to anyone.
• 1:14:59
  Matt: Okay, interesting we got.
• 1:15:01
  Matt: We got mentions of boats but lots of sea life situation and then a tour Review number two.
• 1:15:08
  Eric: I went to blank for the first time in more than a decade recently and was very disappointed.
• 1:15:12
  Eric: It's very rundown and dated.
• 1:15:14
  Eric: The blank around the island isn't what it used to be.
• 1:15:17
  Eric: It's a shame, because I used to love and look forward to going there when I was younger.
• 1:15:22
  Eric: I won't go back again.
• 1:15:24
  Matt: Okay, the island.
• 1:15:26
  Matt: They both mentioned an island, review number three.
• 1:15:29
  Matt: Oh, you said that quite intimidatingly.
• 1:15:34
  Eric: A little extinct for my liking.
• 1:15:35
  Eric: End of review number three.
• 1:15:38
  Matt: End of review.
• 1:15:39
  Matt: Yeah, saw that coming A little extinct for my liking, huh, so we got a tour, we've got we've got mentions of sea life and eating them right.
• 1:15:54
  Eric: Yep, yep, eating prawns, bad prawns apparently.
• 1:16:00
  Matt: Bad prawns.
• 1:16:01
  Matt: A boat, a tour, went there as a kid, though A rock, okay.
• 1:16:10
  Matt: Well, the first thing that came to mind.
• 1:16:12
  Matt: I'm a little hesitant to guess, because it's technically not an island, it's islands and I don't know that.
• 1:16:21
  Matt: You just review it as like one thing, but maybe you would, I guess, and I'm not sure what the boat would be.
• 1:16:29
  Matt: That's what's throwing me, like I'm getting the impression of, like a some sort of shipwrecked boat on an island, but I can't think of anything that meets that goal, that description.
• 1:16:45
  Matt: The first thing that jumps to mind for me is the Galapagos Islands, but again, that feels like a weird thing to review as one whole location.
• 1:16:56
  Matt: But the extinct thing gives that a little bit.
• 1:16:59
  Matt: The first review makes it sound like some sort of dying island, maybe the Great Barrier Reef or something, but like why are you eating on the Great Barrier Reef in a ship?
• 1:17:13
  Matt: I guess I'm going to go with that.
• 1:17:16
  Matt: I don't really know and I know the time on this episode is going on.
• 1:17:19
  Matt: The Galapagos feels wrong to me.
• 1:17:21
  Matt: Fuck it, I'm going to say the Great Barrier Reef.
• 1:17:28
  Eric: We are now tied.
• 1:17:28
  Eric: It is the Great Barrier Reef.
• 1:17:31
  Eric: Whoa yeah, my dude.
• 1:17:34
  Matt: Whoa, I am shocked.
• 1:17:37
  Matt: I thought I was just throwing it away and that happened last round too with the Nintendo Store.
• 1:17:42
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah, ooh Ooh.
• 1:17:44
  Eric: I was going to be heartbroken if you said Galapagos.
• 1:17:47
  Matt: It didn't feel right.
• 1:17:48
  Matt: It didn't feel right because it came into my brain and I was like, why would you review it?
• 1:17:53
  Matt: First of all, it's not one island.
• 1:17:54
  Matt: Anyway, it was wrong and I'm glad I changed my mind.
• 1:17:57
  Matt: We are tied and I have the chance chance at natural heading into the final round ahead of you, as I always should be.
• 1:18:06
  Matt: So, oh my God, oh, I'm sorry.
• 1:18:09
  Matt: Did I say the quiet part out loud?
• 1:18:11
  Eric: Location number three All right, hit me.
• 1:18:14
  Eric: Review number one Disgusting place, do not recommend.
• 1:18:19
  Eric: You have to stand in queues for a very long time, and all because of people with VIP tickets.
• 1:18:25
  Eric: They are allowed in batches of 30 to 40 people at once and there are four to six people like us from the usual queue.
• 1:18:32
  Eric: It's not fair.
• 1:18:33
  Eric: They have shorter queues, must pass the same amount and further.
• 1:18:37
  Eric: I had to stand in line for 90 to 120 minutes and there was no toilet nearby or the opportunity to go to it.
• 1:18:45
  Eric: It's outrageous.
• 1:18:46
  Eric: No water bowls and most of the people in line are children.
• 1:18:49
  Eric: This is one more category of tricksters, the so-called single riders.
• 1:18:55
  Eric: They also move faster.
• 1:18:56
  Eric: They are whole companies of not lonely people at all.
• 1:19:00
  Eric: Why this deception left a very unpleasant impression of this blank.
• 1:19:04
  Eric: I do not recommend Jesus.
• 1:19:07
  Matt: I don't know what to make of that one.
• 1:19:08
  Matt: Review number two Okay.
• 1:19:11
  Eric: You as a parent, as a human being, save up money in today's society just to bring your children to blank and a special occasion for my daughter birthday.
• 1:19:20
  Eric: She wanted to go to blank, so I saved up money to bring her 2023.
• 1:19:25
  Eric: People don't have a lot of money these days Tickets, Hooper Pass and gas to come up here and big breakfast before entering the blank Time and money spent as a parent.
• 1:19:36
  Eric: I brought my daughter for her birthday and an employee made her cry and this is supposed to be the most blank on earth.
• 1:19:45
  Eric: Maybe they need to go to training to speak to a children or an adult at the most blank on earth with a better attitude.
• 1:19:53
  Eric: I mean better customer service.
• 1:19:55
  Eric: But that's any job common sense.
• 1:19:57
  Eric: I was taught manners Sorry, I was thought manners as a child.
• 1:20:03
  Matt: Well, that review does certainly point towards Disney World, but continue on with your last review.
• 1:20:11
  Eric: If you want to waste time and money, come here.
• 1:20:13
  Eric: The staff are nasty jerks who hate their lives.
• 1:20:15
  Eric: They treat you like cattle, constantly telling you to move.
• 1:20:18
  Eric: God forbid you stand there for two seconds to check your phone.
• 1:20:21
  Eric: They make you wait online to take a photo of a flower garden shaped like a blank, charge you 950 for a bottle of water.
• 1:20:28
  Eric: You make a reservation for a time and still wait the standby wait time.
• 1:20:32
  Eric: Their responses are should have got here sooner.
• 1:20:35
  Eric: The staff ruin the experience.
• 1:20:38
  Matt: Okay, okay Now.
• 1:20:41
  Matt: So the second one, the blank place on earth.
• 1:20:43
  Matt: For a little while there, I thought you might be throwing me a little bit of a curve ball and you might be going with sweetest place on earth, which is, of course, hershey Park.
• 1:20:52
  Matt: But my initial impression was magical place on earth or happiest place on earth, both of which describe Disney World, not Disneyland.
• 1:21:01
  Matt: I don't think Disney World.
• 1:21:02
  Matt: Disney World feels right, but it also feels like something you wouldn't pick.
• 1:21:10
  Matt: So I'm struggling with that.
• 1:21:12
  Matt: I don't think it's Disneyland, because I think the, because it's the saving up part that gets me, because Disneyland, I feel like, is really only for LA residents.
• 1:21:23
  Matt: I don't think, if you're saving up to go someplace, I don't know that you're going to Disneyland instead of Disney World.
• 1:21:30
  Matt: It could be Sesame Place, but I don't think so.
• 1:21:33
  Matt: There weren't enough hints at Muppets, there weren't enough Muppet based clues.
• 1:21:40
  Matt: I'm going to say Disney World.
• 1:21:42
  Matt: I'm locking it in.
• 1:21:43
  Matt: If I'm wrong, I'm wrong and we enter Thai Disney World.
• 1:21:46
  Eric: Now, matthew, for the first time in Google Gripes, I'm going to need to call time out.
• 1:21:51
  Eric: We're going to have to review some footage.
• 1:21:53
  Eric: What?
• 1:21:54
  Eric: Because the answer is Disneyland.
• 1:21:57
  Eric: I don't know what to do here.
• 1:22:00
  Eric: I do not know what to do and like originally I was thinking like oh, okay, well, if he says Disney World.
• 1:22:05
  Eric: But then you came out with oh, but you established them as different enough places that I've now need your opinion on what this should be.
• 1:22:16
  Matt: You can't ask me that.
• 1:22:17
  Matt: You can't ask me my opinion.
• 1:22:20
  Matt: You're right, hold on.
• 1:22:22
  Matt: Hold on, I was going to call Lindsay.
• 1:22:26
  Eric: Do we want to get our neutral third parties?
• 1:22:28
  Matt: Yeah, sure.
• 1:22:29
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right, Alyssa, I need your help.
• 1:22:32
  Matt: We'll do Alyssa first and we'll call them.
• 1:22:35
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah, come in, Congratulations, you're on the chef.
• 1:22:38
  Lindsey: Oh good.
• 1:22:40
  Eric: Alyssa.
• 1:22:40
  Eric: Hi Hi, here's the question.
• 1:22:45
  Eric: Okay, we're doing Google Gripes.
• 1:22:46
  Eric: Matt got the first two correct In order to beat me.
• 1:22:52
  Matt: Feel free not to put her on this one.
• 1:22:56
  Eric: After their views he guessed Disney World, but the location is Disneyland.
• 1:23:06
  Matt: I think you need it.
• 1:23:07
  Matt: Eric, Put on your headphones.
• 1:23:09
  Matt: I'm talking to you what I think.
• 1:23:11
  Matt: In fairness, it goes against me, but did you?
• 1:23:15
  Matt: I did say specifically not.
• 1:23:17
  Eric: Disneyland.
• 1:23:18
  Eric: So what complicates this further is that at one point he specifically said he basically established Disneyland and Disney World.
• 1:23:26
  Matt: I said I don't think you'd save up for Disneyland, You'd save up for Disney World.
• 1:23:31
  Eric: He said and I quote I don't think you'd save up to go to Disneyland.
• 1:23:34
  Eric: You would save up to go to Disney World.
• 1:23:36
  Eric: And then he said I think it's Disney World.
• 1:23:38
  Eric: At first I was going to give it to him, but damn.
• 1:23:41
  Lindsey: Yeah, I know Wow.
• 1:23:43
  Eric: I accept the judgment.
• 1:23:50
  Lindsey: No, this is what we need.
• 1:23:51
  Lindsey: We need a judge's call.
• 1:23:53
  Eric: And we might call in Dr Lindsey Barr as well.
• 1:23:56
  Matt: I honestly, though, I think Disneyland in my head are occupied.
• 1:24:01
  Eric: the same space, they occupy the same space in your head.
• 1:24:04
  Eric: Yes, they do Okay.
• 1:24:07
  Matt: So you are.
• 1:24:07
  Matt: Is she saying you'd give it to me?
• 1:24:08
  Matt: She's saying she'd give it to you?
• 1:24:09
  Matt: Yep, okay Now.
• 1:24:14
  Matt: Thank you, alyssa.
• 1:24:15
  Eric: Thank you, Alyssa.
• 1:24:15
  Matt: Your services are much appreciated.
• 1:24:17
  Matt: You're wisdom.
• 1:24:19
  Eric: There's no bounds.
• 1:24:19
  Eric: Thank you for making me lose the game.
• 1:24:22
  Matt: Anytime dude.
• 1:24:23
  Matt: Do we call in?
• 1:24:24
  Matt: Do we call in Lindsay Barr?
• 1:24:27
  Eric: I think we have to just to see if, because if she says she wouldn't give it to you, I guarantee for Eric before we get her in here.
• 1:24:35
  Matt: I guarantee you she's not going to give it to me.
• 1:24:38
  Eric: All right, matt.
• 1:24:38
  Eric: All right, matt, hold on.
• 1:24:39
  Eric: Does this have?
• 1:24:40
  Matt: a way, because then we have a split in our third parties.
• 1:24:42
  Matt: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:24:43
  Eric: Okay, so you're calling that shot.
• 1:24:46
  Eric: You know for a fact she wouldn't give it to you.
• 1:24:48
  Matt: I am very confident she's not going to give it to you.
• 1:24:52
  Eric: What's your idea?
• 1:24:53
  Eric: I think I know what your idea is what do you think my idea is?
• 1:24:58
  Matt: I think you're going to say the true tiebreaker is if she doesn't give it to me, then I get the point because I guess she wouldn't give it to me yes, that is that, but okay.
• 1:25:12
  Matt: So then that becomes a win-win.
• 1:25:14
  Eric: But even then, even if she doesn't give it to you, that means you do that, because then it's a win-win.
• 1:25:18
  Eric: Either way you're getting the point Right so that if anything I mean even in the imaginary tiebreaker I could think of you still get the point.
• 1:25:29
  Eric: I think you get the point, my dude.
• 1:25:32
  Matt: I think you get the point, but I think we got to call in Lindsay.
• 1:25:35
  Eric: I think we got to call.
• 1:25:35
  Eric: I think you're getting the point.
• 1:25:36
  Eric: You get the point no matter what.
• 1:25:37
  Eric: But let's see what Lindsay would have said.
• 1:25:40
  Matt: Well, hold on a second.
• 1:25:41
  Eric: Okay.
• 1:25:42
  Matt: I want to be fair.
• 1:25:42
  Matt: I want to be fair here.
• 1:25:44
  Matt: We called in Alyssa.
• 1:25:45
  Matt: She said I got it.
• 1:25:47
  Matt: We called.
• 1:25:49
  Matt: If we call in Lindsay and she says I got it, there'd be no argument.
• 1:25:53
  Matt: There'd be no argument.
• 1:25:53
  Matt: It's two for one.
• 1:25:54
  Matt: But I did specifically not guess Disneyland.
• 1:25:58
  Matt: Yeah, you did.
• 1:26:00
  Matt: So I sort of feel like the fact that we're even doing this there are some listeners out there being like he said not Disneyland, I know.
• 1:26:11
  Matt: So I think we've come this far.
• 1:26:14
  Matt: I'm willing to do this.
• 1:26:16
  Matt: Okay, if Lindsay does give it to me.
• 1:26:20
  Lindsey: Yeah.
• 1:26:21
  Matt: I don't get the point.
• 1:26:23
  Eric: There it is God, oh, but if she doesn't give it to you, you do.
• 1:26:28
  Matt: I guessed correctly on Lindsay and that I love this.
• 1:26:34
  Matt: That makes it a wrap.
• 1:26:35
  Eric: I love this.
• 1:26:36
  Matt: All right, I will summon Lindsay.
• 1:26:38
  Eric: Okay, god, dr Lindsay Barr, do not fail me.
• 1:26:40
  Eric: I'm putting all my hopes and dreams into you, believing in your husband, because that means he will lose, and that is the funniest shit on the planet.
• 1:26:49
  Matt: You're being summoned to the pod pod.
• 1:26:50
  Matt: Please report immediately.
• 1:26:53
  Matt: No, and I'll make sure that does not show up on the final recording.
• 1:27:01
  Matt: But just come here, You're needed.
• 1:27:03
  Matt: It's desperate.
• 1:27:04
  Eric: I didn't even hear what she said, but I said stop.
• 1:27:06
  Matt: Good, then that means it doesn't matter.
• 1:27:07
  Matt: Okay, good, Get in here.
• 1:27:09
  Matt: Get in here.
• 1:27:10
  Eric: Hi Lindsay.
• 1:27:11
  Matt: Yeah, we have reached an interesting situation of Google Gripes Come closer, come.
• 1:27:19
  Lindsey: I don't like that.
• 1:27:20
  Lindsey: I'm what.
• 1:27:22
  Lindsey: I look terrible and I'm not wearing a bra.
• 1:27:25
  Eric: Don't worry we'll crop you out of the pod.
• 1:27:27
  Lindsey: You didn't need to say that into a microphone I know, but I'm looking at myself on Riverside and I know you received these recordings.
• 1:27:32
  Eric: And you look stunning.
• 1:27:34
  Matt: Yeah, I wasn't gonna put it out and I wasn't gonna include all that, but now I am.
• 1:27:37
  Lindsey: Okay, unless you don't want me to no, what do you want?
• 1:27:40
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:27:40
  Matt: I'm working on something Okay great, so are we so yes.
• 1:27:47
  Matt: So, here's the situation, I'm well aware.
• 1:27:49
  Matt: So here's the situation.
• 1:27:51
  Matt: Doing Google Gripes, we're on the last one.
• 1:27:55
  Matt: I've got spoiler alert.
• 1:27:56
  Matt: I'm two for two.
• 1:27:57
  Matt: This would make me three for three.
• 1:27:59
  Matt: Go into the final round up by one.
• 1:28:01
  Matt: Okay, that's the background.
• 1:28:03
  Matt: All right, eric went through the reviews and I said there was a review that said specifically, as a parent, you save up to bring your kid here.
• 1:28:15
  Matt: Da, da, da, da, da, da, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 1:28:17
  Matt: This is in the review.
• 1:28:18
  Matt: This is in the review.
• 1:28:18
  Matt: So I said, based on that and with the other clues, my guess is Disney World World.
• 1:28:25
  Matt: Yeah, not Disneyland, because I don't think you'd save up for Disneyland.
• 1:28:32
  Matt: The answer is Disneyland.
• 1:28:35
  Matt: Would you give me the point?
• 1:28:39
  Lindsey: I would give you partial credit at best.
• 1:28:42
  Matt: Fucking God damn it, eric.
• 1:28:44
  Matt: We didn't get.
• 1:28:45
  Lindsey: I disagree with you.
• 1:28:45
  Lindsey: I do think that people do save up for Disneyland.
• 1:28:48
  Lindsey: Disneyland is still quite expensive, even if not.
• 1:28:51
  Matt: Sure.
• 1:28:52
  Lindsey: I think there are people who save up for Disneyland.
• 1:28:54
  Lindsey: I think Disneyland and Disney World are different enough that you they are two separate entities Like you wouldn't count, like Disney.
• 1:29:02
  Eric: World yes, and Paris.
• 1:29:03
  Matt: Shut up Eric, Like Disneyland.
• 1:29:05
  Lindsey: Paris is different.
• 1:29:07
  Matt: Yes, and there's Tokyo Disney World and all that good stuff.
• 1:29:10
  Matt: So you can't give me partial credit.
• 1:29:13
  Matt: You have to decide do I get the point or do I not get the point?
• 1:29:18
  Lindsey: I don't think you get the point, but it is a shitty Google Gripes to bring up, though I will say oh, we didn't expect that, we didn't even expect this.
• 1:29:29
  Eric: Well, well, tell her, make sure she knows that originally I was gonna give it to him either way if he guessed Disneyland or Disney World, but it wasn't until he differentiated between the two.
• 1:29:38
  Eric: But I get it yeah, but you get it she said no, I get it.
• 1:29:41
  Eric: You get the point.
• 1:29:43
  Lindsey: Who's, who's was it?
• 1:29:45
  Matt: I'm guessing it's Poachers thing.
• 1:29:46
  Matt: So here's what we said.
• 1:29:48
  Matt: We also called an Alyssa.
• 1:29:50
  Matt: Alyssa gave it to me and I said well, if Lindsay gets, if Lindsay doesn't give it to me, we're just.
• 1:29:56
  Matt: Our tie breakers are at an impasse, yeah, but I said.
• 1:29:59
  Matt: But Eric said, how confident are you?
• 1:30:01
  Matt: And I said there is no world in which Lindsay gives me this point.
• 1:30:05
  Matt: And he said if Lindsay doesn't give you the point, you get it.
• 1:30:10
  Matt: And if she agrees and says I think I give you the point, I don't get it.
• 1:30:14
  Matt: So you have given me a three to two advantage in round two.
• 1:30:20
  Lindsey: So now my integrity is being called into question.
• 1:30:22
  Matt: Absolutely.
• 1:30:23
  Matt: And then you insulted his gripes Bye.
• 1:30:26
  Eric: Yes, and I will never forget this slight.
• 1:30:28
  Eric: I will never forget this slight.
• 1:30:30
  Matt: I will never forget the slight.
• 1:30:31
  Matt: Get out of the pot.
• 1:30:31
  Matt: Pot, eric, ah Ah.
• 1:30:38
  Lindsey: I can't even be mad, that couldn't have gone better.
• 1:30:40
  Lindsey: Yeah, that God damn.
• 1:30:42
  Eric: That was the most.
• 1:30:43
  Eric: That had to be the most drama we've ever experienced on Google gripes.
• 1:30:47
  Matt: Oh my God.
• 1:30:48
  Matt: But, eric, can we agree between the two of us?
• 1:30:52
  Eric: Hey, I respect the results and the result is that you?
• 1:30:56
  Eric: Get it.
• 1:30:58
  Matt: We put on the table a very unorthodox tie break.
• 1:31:01
  Eric: We had to make a game time decision, matthew, and honestly I'd like to applaud us both for that.
• 1:31:07
  Eric: We did, we did, very we, we we made do.
• 1:31:11
  Matt: Eric, let me say this I already had the utmost respect for you as a person, and now I have the utmost respect for you as a sportswoman.
• 1:31:20
  Matt: Thank you.
• 1:31:21
  Lindsey: Thank you, Matthew A point well earned and I will never call that point into question.
• 1:31:26
  Eric: It is earned.
• 1:31:26
  Eric: It is earned it is earned.
• 1:31:30
  Matt: If you wish to give us shit about it, you can do so.
• 1:31:34
  Matt: Say when you know where to do it, baby, because this round is over and it's time for the business.
• 1:31:41
  Matt: Give them the business.
• 1:31:42
  Matt: You can write to us at you and ask for this at gmailcom.
• 1:31:44
  Matt: You can find us on basically any and all social media at.
• 1:31:49
  Matt: You didn't ask pod.
• 1:31:51
  Matt: That's the letter.
• 1:31:51
  Matt: You didn't ask pod.
• 1:31:53
  Matt: Instagram, twitter, facebook, all those places you can call the thought line and give us your thoughts on this.
• 1:31:59
  Matt: Google Ripes and others at 410-929-5329.
• 1:32:05
  Matt: But, as it is at the end of round three, I have six points and you, eric, have five points.
• 1:32:13
  Matt: So I have a one point lead, but which, as I said earlier, is the way it should be.
• 1:32:18
  Matt: But, crucially for season three, in the last round we said that round two we would try to make medium difficulty and round three we're gonna make hard difficulty.
• 1:32:29
  Matt: Now both of us, with a little speed bump for me, admittedly, pretty quickly got all three of the mediums.
• 1:32:37
  Matt: We're in the drift together.
• 1:32:38
  Matt: We are, we're in the drift together.
• 1:32:40
  Matt: But what I'd say is, eric, I think both of us inadvertently and I'm not being insulting to you specifically or me specifically I think both of us in our attempts to get quote unquote medium difficulty actually were pretty easy, like we got them pretty quick.
• 1:32:59
  Matt: Yeah, you got them very easy, you rattled them off last time.
• 1:33:02
  Eric: Yeah, I think this episode was the fastest you've ever got them.
• 1:33:04
  Eric: You got this one, the last one, halfway through the reviews.
• 1:33:07
  Eric: You're like oh okay, well, this is Disney Land.
• 1:33:09
  Matt: I think so too.
• 1:33:10
  Matt: Well, I said Disney.
• 1:33:10
  Matt: World, disney World, but close enough, I think, if I were to make a prediction about a sec.
• 1:33:15
  Matt: I have a feeling the next round is gonna be hard.
• 1:33:21
  Eric: Yeah, we're gonna overcorrect, I feel.
• 1:33:23
  Matt: Because medium you can go too hard and you can go too easy.
• 1:33:27
  Eric: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:33:28
  Matt: You can't go too hard, no.
• 1:33:32
  Eric: And now that we're, they still need to be well-known places though.
• 1:33:34
  Eric: Eric, that's what I was gonna say.
• 1:33:35
  Eric: Now let's take a moment to reaffirm the Google Gripes Accords.
• 1:33:38
  Eric: I will, for all future gripes, please know, even though Lindsay suggested it, that it could be a thing that could be done, but I would never even occur to me, because I'm a good person.
• 1:33:49
  Eric: I will never Disneyland Tokyo.
• 1:33:53
  Eric: You, if you.
• 1:33:54
  Matt: No, please don't do that.
• 1:33:55
  Eric: I'm never gonna get you with a well technically, yeah, I will not do that.
• 1:34:01
  Matt: Same.
• 1:34:01
  Matt: I won't do that.
• 1:34:02
  Matt: My goal is always.
• 1:34:03
  Eric: Is that you answer the spirit of the question?
• 1:34:05
  Eric: Because it's often times in the past you've told me, hey, I would have accepted this, this or this, because we all clearly refer to the same thing.
• 1:34:14
  Matt: I will never do a Four Seasons Landscape.
• 1:34:17
  Eric: Correct, correct, correct.
• 1:34:20
  Eric: I would expect nothing less from a Lord of Sea Land, from us two.
• 1:34:25
  Matt: Lords of Sea Land.
• 1:34:26
  Matt: Lords of Sea Land, our.
• 1:34:28
  Matt: Patents of Nobility are still in the mail, but, yes, I haven't received them yet.
• 1:34:34
  Eric: Getting concerned, has Prince Michael forgotten us?
• 1:34:40
  Matt: Surely not.
• 1:34:40
  Matt: He's shipped them in record speed.
• 1:34:42
  Matt: So and it's?
• 1:34:45
  Eric: a Christmas episode.
• 1:34:45
  Eric: It's Christmas episode, so here you go.
• 1:34:48
  Matt: Christmas, of course, in a couple of days.
• 1:34:50
  Matt: So Merry Christmas to everybody out there.
• 1:34:54
  Matt: Happy Hanukkah and Kwanzaa and all the rest.
• 1:34:57
  Matt: Wait a minute.
• 1:34:59
  Matt: What day does this come out on Festivus?
• 1:35:00
  Matt: No, no, that's the next.
• 1:35:02
  Matt: That's two days later.
• 1:35:04
  Matt: This is the 21st when this drops.
• 1:35:05
  Matt: But if you're listening on Festivus, happy Festivus for the rest of us and for all of us here.
• 1:35:14
  Matt: You didn't ask for this, that'll about do it.
• 1:35:15
  Matt: So my name is Matthew Shea.
• 1:35:18
  Matt: My name is Eric Poach.
• 1:35:21
  Eric: And listen.
• 1:35:21
  Eric: You didn't ask.
• 1:35:23
  Matt: But this Christmas season Keep running.
• 1:35:25
  Eric: brothers and sisters, listen to that man from Dundalk keep running.
• 1:35:30
  Eric: Whatever you're running to, keep running.
• 1:35:32
  Eric: I hope you get there and you know what.
• 1:35:37
  Matt: If you can't run any further, get yourself an ostrich.
• 1:35:40
  Eric: Ka, that's not an ostrich.
• 1:35:41
  Eric: Get yourself an ostrich.
• 1:35:42
  Eric: Get yourself an ostrich, get yourself an ostrich, get yourself an ostrich.
• 1:35:44
  Eric: Is that what they make Did?
• 1:35:45
  Matt: they hunt.
• 1:35:46
  Eric: I don't even know what they make sound.
• 1:35:48
  Eric: Sometimes I would get an ostrich.