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Friend Poaching · Let's Ask the Mamas!

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: We got a question for American mama's. Dear mama's, have
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: you heard of friend poaching? Well, let's ask our Rah
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Marrack and mamas.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: Oh mama, she.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: Said, and joining us now we're American mama's. Terry Netteville
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: and Kimberly burleson friend poaching. Well, is this like stealing
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: somebody else's friend?
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  Speaker 2: This kind of is like that. It's so funny. When
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: I saw this on the internet, I thought, Wait a minute,
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: I've had that experience. I had a really.
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  Speaker 1: But before we get too far, can I just guess
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: this is mostly a female thing.
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: It is a female thing.
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: Before you tell your story, let me just read this
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  Speaker 3: one little paragraph ID to look it up. Okay, it
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  Speaker 3: says friend poaching is when you introduce two friends to
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: each other and they develop a strong friendship that excludes you.
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: This can leave you feeling betrayed, hurt, left out of
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  Speaker 3: your own social circle, similar to being friend n apps.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: All right, I'm going to tell you about Judy and Mary.
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  Speaker 2: Judy is a close close friend of mine. She was
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  Speaker 2: larger than life, big beautiful person, and I loved her
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  Speaker 2: very close to her. Mary, my other best friend, wasn't
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: friends with Judy was obsessed with her though, because Judy
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: had a big personality, So Mary wants to be friends
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  Speaker 2: with her. So I introduced them because I am the
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: only thing between the link and Judy wouldn't have given
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: Mary the time of day if it weren't for me. Okay, okay,
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: So I introduced them. Well, over the course of time,
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  Speaker 2: I see pictures They're going places together, They've gone to
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  Speaker 2: concerts if I'm out of talent, and I'm thinking, well,
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  Speaker 2: that's weird, that's interesting, how I'm kind of being excluded.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: Judy kind of like moves on from me and I
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  Speaker 2: don't know why, and I have questions and find out
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: a year later Mary was sabotaging with saying negative things
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  Speaker 2: about me, and I thought I got my friend, got poached,
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: and she then tried to sabotage my own friendship and
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: did it as did it works? I know, I don't
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: even talk to Judy. She's moved on. Yes, I'm actually
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: still friends with Mary, who I've changed their names. But
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: I'm still friends with Mary, but I keep an arm's
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  Speaker 2: length and I'm very careful with I don't ever introduce
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  Speaker 2: her to anybody new.
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  Speaker 4: Yes, yes, that is so interesting.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: And again I'm like, this is absolutely a female thing.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: It is a female thing, because I just don't think
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  Speaker 1: that that's something like guys, I don't think you'd care.
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: Well, I'll tell you how it happens with guys. No,
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  Speaker 3: this is how it happens with guys. Because sometimes okay,
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: so sometimes the poacher can be a social climber. Okay, Okay,
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  Speaker 3: that's a person you know, they believe it'll raise their
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: social standing or it might help with their business situation, right,
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: and so in the men's role in women's world. But
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  Speaker 3: I can see her friend poaching would be like, dude,
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  Speaker 3: you got to introduce me.
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  Speaker 4: Or let's say there's somebody that.
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  Speaker 3: Has an event planning person who's like, I got to
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  Speaker 3: get in that crowd, right, got and they want to
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  Speaker 3: use you to get into that crowd so that they
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  Speaker 3: can start having that business.
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  Speaker 4: And then I get you.
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  Speaker 3: So maybe that.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: Can You're right, that would make more sense for a
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  Speaker 2: man because it's business.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: There's this whole thing, you know, like men don't have friends.
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  Speaker 4: That's true.
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  Speaker 1: Men have wives and wives have friends, and that's true, right,
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's there's a lot of truth to that.
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: But I also don't say sometimes I think that women
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  Speaker 3: can be a little more conniving, and so there might
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  Speaker 3: be motivation behind it in the beginning, right before you
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  Speaker 3: even poach, before you even think you know she wants
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  Speaker 3: to be friends with Judy, there's there's a motive. I
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  Speaker 3: got to get in with her. But I don't really
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  Speaker 3: do that. It's like a lot of the three of
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  Speaker 3: us go and.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: Sure, we'll all just go. And if you guys are
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  Speaker 1: going to go and I'm not there, okay, that's fine. Yea, yeah,
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: that's you next time. I've seen that with women, it
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: is very difficult to have trios of friendships. I agree
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  Speaker 1: that if there's a there's a pair of friends or
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  Speaker 1: four friends, it's easy. But if you start getting a
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  Speaker 1: trio of friends, inevitably someone starts to feel like they're
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: being left out of something.
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  Speaker 2: That's your life. That that's let's be honest that I was.
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  Speaker 4: Gonna say, I don't mind, I don't mind the three.
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  Speaker 2: I don't mind no, But I'm talking about like an
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  Speaker 2: elementary in high school, junior high you always had lots
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  Speaker 2: of friends, yeah, and you're always there, always had one.
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  Speaker 2: I always had one best friends friend.
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  Speaker 4: I had a bunch because I didn't.
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  Speaker 2: Really, but she would, but there would be drama, there
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  Speaker 2: would be uh so and so is mad. I mean
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  Speaker 2: there's always like some little thing going on, whereas I
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  Speaker 2: never had that experience because I always had that one
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  Speaker 2: best friend.
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  Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, I guess with my personality, I almost like
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  Speaker 3: to have like, let's say, a lunch. Yeah, I almost
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  Speaker 3: like to have three or more because I have this
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  Speaker 3: real I have.
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  Speaker 4: This is an issue. This is a problem with me.
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  Speaker 3: If I have lunch with one on one, I'm gonna
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  Speaker 3: spill my every secret and we're gonna get talking and
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  Speaker 3: and then I leave going what I tell.
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  Speaker 2: Her all that, why do you do that? You panic?
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  Speaker 3: It's like it's a pause panic if there's like a
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  Speaker 3: pause else I.
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  Speaker 1: Did, I can't wait for us to go.
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  Speaker 3: And So I like a lot of people because I
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: love to know everybody else's story. But so when someone
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: asks me about something, I cannot lie.
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  Speaker 4: So I like tell.
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  Speaker 3: Everything, Well, let me just feel this. But so I've
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  Speaker 3: always been more comfortable with more so they don't have
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: to really know me, know me. Kimberly has always had
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: you know, that one best friend and she's and then
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  Speaker 3: we've talked about this before, where when you're like me
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  Speaker 3: and your friends in different friend groups. You're kind of
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: like I call it the CUSP. Girls see us p cusp,
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  Speaker 3: Like you're on the CUSP. So you might see these
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: friends go and do go weekend at the lake. You're
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: not included. But I don't get my feelings hurt because
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  Speaker 3: I know they love me. I love them, but I'm
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  Speaker 3: not in It's so hard to explain. I'm cool being that.
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  Speaker 3: You know, I'm cool being in different circles and I
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  Speaker 3: do get to do fun things. But I if someone
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  Speaker 3: poaches a friend, I'm like, Okay, yeah, I've got plenty
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  Speaker 3: of others.
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  Speaker 4: I'm good.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: If you like Desker. American Mama's a Question, go to
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: our website America Ready dot com slash Mama's and click
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: on the ask the Mama's button. Terry Netvill, Kimberly Brothers,
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  Speaker 1: and thank you so much.
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  Speaker 2: Thank you,