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A Buncha Monosyllabic Morons · Armstrong & Getty One More Thing

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  Speaker 1: Bunch of monosyllabic morons. It's one more thing. I'm strong
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  Speaker 1: and getty, one more thing before we get to that.
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  Speaker 1: I just was looking up at the TV.
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  Speaker 2: Remember the other day, I said, if you want to
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  Speaker 2: kill time, she's who needs to kill time in the
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: modern world. But you want to kill more time with
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: more stupid stuff. Boat docking fails or a good YouTube
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: stream people trying to park their boat and not going well,
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: it's pretty funny. But I just saw one. Dirty Dancing fails.
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  Speaker 2: It's people who want to do the dirty dancing jump
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  Speaker 2: for their wedding. So in the movie Dirty Dancing, Jennifer
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  Speaker 2: Gray probably weighed ninety eight pounds, runs down this you know,
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  Speaker 2: runs in this room full of people who who parted
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  Speaker 2: weighs for the big dance. She runs and leaps into
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  Speaker 2: the air into Patrick Swayzey, who's in really good shape,
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  Speaker 2: catches are in the air and holds her over his head. Well,
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  Speaker 2: apparently lots of people like to do this for their wedding,
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  Speaker 2: and either the bride weighs more than Jennifer Gray did
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  Speaker 2: or the dude's not as strong as Patrick Swayzey. Plus
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  Speaker 2: it requires an amount of athletic ability, and they don't
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  Speaker 2: always go well. So it is dirty dancing fails, and
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  Speaker 2: some of them are well, they're kind of gruesome. Lots
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  Speaker 2: of women falling on their heads. Oh, lots of they
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  Speaker 2: just kind of go through the guy's arms and fall
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  Speaker 2: right on their heads. Oh my god. Or the dresses
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  Speaker 2: flip upside down or whatever. But yeah, so if you
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  Speaker 2: need to kill some time today after boat docking fails,
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  Speaker 2: do dirty dancing fails.
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  Speaker 3: Wow, I'm a big fan of bullies and robbers who
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  Speaker 3: f around and find out.
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  Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, because the justice there.
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  Speaker 4: But I've been watching side show fails. Oh that one
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  Speaker 4: out of a leo from over the weekend, the guy's
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  Speaker 4: pants caught on fire. Oh, that was a good time.
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  Speaker 2: My best friend in high school did that. He tried
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  Speaker 2: to do a donut in front of the school when
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  Speaker 2: we got out, in front of everybody, thought it'd be
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  Speaker 2: cool in his new truck and lost control and ran
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  Speaker 2: into the telephone pole right there in the corner in
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  Speaker 2: front of everyone. Whoops, They send him home. He came
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  Speaker 2: back the next day, but man, the amount of ridicule
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  Speaker 2: for crashing your car into a pole right in front
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  Speaker 2: of everyone. Yeah, on a beautiful afternoon. I can still
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  Speaker 2: picture it. Oh my god.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, people would bring that up fifty years down the line.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's coming up at the reunion for sure.
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  Speaker 3: People often say you'll never live that down, but that's
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: the winter. Yeah. So my youngest is in law school,
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  Speaker 3: and Judie and I went to visit and I was
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  Speaker 3: looking through one of her legal books, flipping.
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  Speaker 1: Through it, and.
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  Speaker 3: I said, wow, this is interesting. I'd sit here and
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  Speaker 3: read this if I had time. She said, I got
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  Speaker 3: a good one for you. So a lot of it
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  Speaker 3: is a lot of first year law school anyway. In
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  Speaker 3: this class is you read through cases and then you
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  Speaker 3: summarize them and talk about the legal principles involved. You know,
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  Speaker 3: just what you'd think it would be. But she says, Dad,
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  Speaker 3: you got to read this. And she gave me the
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  Speaker 3: case courtis v. Peerless Transportation Company, and I was trying
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  Speaker 3: to find it for the purposes of either the radio
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  Speaker 3: show or the podcast whatever, and I found the modern
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  Speaker 3: brief fact summary and it is as follows, and we're
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  Speaker 3: going somewhere to those with this. But a taxi driver
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  Speaker 3: working for the defendant Peerless Transportation Company jumped from his
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  Speaker 3: taxi while it was running to escape an armed highwayman
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  Speaker 3: who was being pursued by his victim. The car now driverless,
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  Speaker 3: ran up onto a sidewalk and injured the plaintiff, cortis
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  Speaker 3: a pedestrian. So that's the fact summary. That is the
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  Speaker 3: modern fact summary. I am now going to read you
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  Speaker 3: the original fact summary from nineteen forty one.
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  Speaker 2: And nineteen forty one. Picture of those old timey kind
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  Speaker 2: of taxis.
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  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, there's all sorts of old timey cases that
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  Speaker 3: they that they study, and every dude had a hat on.
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  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah.
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  Speaker 3: But and not only that, but and I don't want
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  Speaker 3: to constantly be hammering the idea that we're getting dumber
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  Speaker 3: and dumbers of people. But we are getting dumber and
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  Speaker 3: dumbers of people, at least to some in some quarters.
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  Speaker 3: Education is just different than it used to be. But
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  Speaker 3: listen to this fact summary compared to the other one.
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  Speaker 3: M This case presents the ordinary man, that problem child
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  Speaker 3: of the law in a most bizarre setting. As a
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  Speaker 3: lowly chauffeur in defendant's employee. He became in a trice
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  Speaker 3: the protagonist in a breath baiting drama with a denument
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  Speaker 3: almost tragic.
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  Speaker 1: Wow. It appears that a man whose.
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  Speaker 3: Identity it would be indelicate to divulge, was feloniously relieved
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  Speaker 3: of his portable goods by two nondescript highwaymen in an
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  Speaker 3: alley near twenty sixth Street and Third Avenue, Manhattan. They
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  Speaker 3: induced him this is one of my favorites. Duced him
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  Speaker 3: to relinquish his possessions by a strong argument. Ad Hominem
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  Speaker 3: couched in the convincing cant of the criminal and pressed
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  Speaker 3: at the point of a most persuasive pistol.
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  Speaker 1: Who knew they paid by the syllable back.
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  Speaker 3: In the forties, so instead of saying he pointed a
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  Speaker 3: gun at him and took his stuff. They induced him
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  Speaker 3: to relinquish his possessions by a strong argument.
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  Speaker 1: Ad Hominem couched in the convincing cant of.
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  Speaker 3: The criminal and pressed at the point of a most
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  Speaker 3: persuasive pistol.
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  Speaker 2: That is pretty good.
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  Speaker 1: God, that's brilliant writing. Yeah, there's more.
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  Speaker 3: Hang on a second, laden with their loute, but not
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  Speaker 3: thereby impeded. They took an abrupt departure, and he, shuffling
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  Speaker 3: off the coil of that discretion, which dmeshed him in
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  Speaker 3: the alley, quickly gave chase through twenty sixth Street towards
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  Speaker 3: Second Avenue, where they were, whether they were resorting quote
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  Speaker 3: with expedition swift as thought for the most obvious reasons.
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  Speaker 1: If you follow, and most modern.
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  Speaker 3: People don't, because you use so many damn big words,
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  Speaker 3: it's interesting.
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  Speaker 2: Why would they do it that way just to be
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  Speaker 2: entertaining or.
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  Speaker 1: You have to pay more attention to get to the
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  Speaker 1: to keep it clear.
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  Speaker 3: It takes effort to retain the clarity in it, So
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  Speaker 3: it would seem to be not a.
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  Speaker 4: Great idea, right right, that's what I was wondering.
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  Speaker 1: I don't know.
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  Speaker 3: It's again it's it's beautifully written, like yeah by the
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  Speaker 3: letter practically, yeah.
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  Speaker 4: It's excessive.
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  Speaker 2: So what what was the case though, was that was
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  Speaker 2: somebody was the guy who got hurt on the sidewalk,
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  Speaker 2: trying to blame the original chaser or the.
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  Speaker 3: Well they separated, the two robbers separated, or or let
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  Speaker 3: me put it this way, somewhere on that thoroughfare of escape,
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  Speaker 3: they indulge the strategem of separation, ostensibly to disconcert.
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  Speaker 1: The pursuer and la the order of his pursuit. So
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  Speaker 1: they separated to confuse him.
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  Speaker 4: You you were made to read these.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, anyway, so uh, and it goes on for paragraphs.
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  Speaker 3: All of it is amusing, as the preceding what happened
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  Speaker 3: was this guy gets robbed at gunpoint by a couple
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  Speaker 3: of scumbags, and as they leave the alley, he decides
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  Speaker 3: to chase them. They separate, one of them gets in
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  Speaker 3: a cab. The guy's running after the cab scream and
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  Speaker 3: stop him.
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  Speaker 1: He's a robber. He's a robber, and the driver's like,
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  Speaker 1: he's a robber. The guy sticks the gun. Actually, I
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  Speaker 1: gotta get to that part. The guy sticks his gun
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  Speaker 1: at the cabby. Let's see.
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  Speaker 3: The driver confesses that the only act that smacked of
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  Speaker 3: intelligence was that by which he jammed on the brakes
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  Speaker 3: in order to throw off the balance of the hold
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  Speaker 3: up man, who was half standing and half sitting with
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  Speaker 3: his pistol menacingly poised. So anyway, this guy jams on
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  Speaker 3: the brakes, the gunman smashes into the cab. Cabby jumps
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  Speaker 3: out of the cab. It's now rolling driverless onto a sidewalk,
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  Speaker 3: where it hits a woman and her two babies, none
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  Speaker 3: grievously injured, thank god. But they are the plaintiffs in
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  Speaker 3: the case and are suing the cab company. I don't
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  Speaker 3: know why they Well, they'd gone after the scumbags, but
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  Speaker 3: the cab company probably had deeper poets along and short
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  Speaker 3: of the case.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, interesting, I would like to know why they wrote
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  Speaker 2: that way back in the day, though there has to
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  Speaker 2: be a reason. It's definitely more entertaining.
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  Speaker 3: The uh A witness identified the criminal at the hospital.
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  Speaker 1: Well, you could say it like that, or you could
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  Speaker 1: say it like this.
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  Speaker 3: The women and the child were injured by the cab,
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  Speaker 3: which at the time appeared to be also minus its passenger,
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  Speaker 3: who it appears was apprehended in the cellar of a
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  Speaker 3: local hospital.
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  Speaker 1: Where he was pointed out to a police officer.
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  Speaker 3: By a remnant of the posse here before mentioned.
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  Speaker 1: I want to write like that.
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  Speaker 4: I would have so much trouble staying serious in court
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  Speaker 4: if somebody was reading that.
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  Speaker 1: No kidding, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
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  Speaker 3: So the guy ran away, Yes, he abandoned the caution
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  Speaker 3: that had the forehead gripped him and took to the
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  Speaker 3: limbless men will if they are thereby equipped bra.
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  Speaker 1: So he ran away.
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  Speaker 4: Yes, what happened?
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  Speaker 1: Well, I guess that's it. Michael brought low by that
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  Speaker 1: I was
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  Speaker 4: Trying to do the opposite of your high energy