Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 2 - Episode 112 - What are your emotions behind your emotions?

Transcript

Season 2 - Episode 112 - What are your emotions behind your emotions? · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

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  Welcome to the good morning from the chicken coop, podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and master mindset.
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  Coach filled with inspiration, distinctions, perspectives and
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  possibilities. We help you to cultivate a
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  mindset that leads you to create the best version of yourself.
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  You could ever imagine join Kim every morning from one of her.
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  Favorite happy places her chicken coop, along with all her
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  chickens. Hey everybody.
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  Good morning from the Chicken Coop.
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  So today we are talking about the emotion behind the emotion.
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  What do I mean? When I say that?
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  Well, every time you have an emotion, you have an emotional
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  reaction, there's definitely things that trigger it.
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  There are definitely things that happen, definitely things that
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  go off. And when those things go off,
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  they're usually predicated on something going on behind the
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  scenes now sometimes it's consistent.
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  So the emotion like let's say you have an angry reaction to
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  something. Sometimes it's because There's
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  something that triggered anger and you did that.
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  But often there's a something else that happens that anger is
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  predicated on being hurt. There is some sort of other
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  offense going on and there's a deeper emotion to it.
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  So when you start to dig you can figure out what really happened.
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  Instead of just having that high, you know, intensity
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  surface emotion, which doesn't give you a whole lot of
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  information other than the fact that you're not happy.
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  Happy or something, went wrong. When you start to dig through
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  these emotions, you get very clear on where your core
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  challenge is just to straighten out, you can't fix things that
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  you don't completely understand. And unless you take the time to
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  completely understand what's going on, you'll stay stuck in
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  these emotions. That don't mean anything.
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  They're not, they're not the core of the information.
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  That's really going to help you. As opposed to the underlying
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  Arline ones which are the ones that are going to help you.
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  Those are the ones. I promise you that when you dig
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  through them, they are the ones that you can actually do
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  something about to fix, because that's the, that's our work as
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  human beings. I look at that.
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  Like, that's our work. We have to go back and we have
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  to dig a little bit deeper to figure out.
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  Well, what's my reaction to it? So let me give you an example.
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  So, I have talked about this before on the podcast where I
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  have this issue. I'm not I'm not a close girl.
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  I'm very much the tomboyish girl.
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  And I will always when given the opportunity, I will wear
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  sneakers and, you know, hiking boots jeans and I don't care if
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  there's holes in them. They're often baggy too big for
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  me and t-shirts and I'm totally happy like that and and totally
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  don't care. Like, that's the important part
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  like me as a person. I just don't care.
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  So Over the course of my life. I have heard multiple comments
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  from people about my clothing whether it's that it's too big
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  or that. It's got too many holes in it.
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  Why are you wearing paint jeans with paint all over them?
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  You know why your hair? Why is your hair still in?
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  Ponytails, lots of questions that come up or people make
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  snide, little comments. I was on the speaker, I worked
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  with a group of speakers over the many, many years and one of
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  them from stage once, Ali had the audacity to call me out in
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  front of a room full of about 500 people, and he was calling
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  me to say thank you, which is what's the funny part of the
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  story and he said, Kim baggy, pants Johnson, please come to
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  the front of, so I can thank you.
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  And I was so offended by that, I was so offended by that, I was
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  pissed off. I wanted to go up there and
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  strangle him for saying something like that and mind you
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  in that situation. Nation.
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  I was wearing dress pants and a button-down shirt.
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  And were they loose? Probably because I don't like
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  tight clothes, but that's just me.
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  That's just me. So when that happened, I was
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  angry. I was super angry.
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  But then you know how sometimes when you sit and you pause and
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  you think about something afterwards, then the tears come
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  or the sadness comes. The next wave comes.
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  That's usually where your core emotion Lies.
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  When You start to dig with it. So, after that happened after
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  me, being really pissed off the next comment, I could hear in my
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  head from myself. Was that that of God that I've
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  been going through this my whole life.
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  I'm just so sad about it. Why can't everybody just shut up
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  about it? Why do people have to say things
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  about it? Because it isn't in line with
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  their version of how they think I should be, or what they think
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  a woman should dress like or whatever.
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  And there's no need to say Think about it.
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  There's just no need to say anything about it.
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  You know. I'm very adamant that people
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  have to really own what they come out with until other
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  people. And are you adding value?
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  Are you helping the person? Are you hurting the person?
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  But that's for another podcast. In this case he did it.
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  My reaction is what we're talking about today and I went
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  to this place where I got really sad, I got really, really sad
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  and I started to say, you know, I I remember sitting in the The
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  hotel in the back of the room with my husband, and I was
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  crying and I said, I can't believe he did.
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  That was so embarrassing, I can't and I'm not someone that
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  even gets embarrassed. Like, I don't even think about
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  those things, but it was in the front of the room and it was
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  from the stage and the underlying emotion when I dug
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  through the whole thing. Was, it was that of this little
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  person who was in 7th or 8th grade, and somebody at some
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  point in time, sorry, I didn't mean to say seventh or eighth
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  grade, I meant to say, Seven or eight years old and had somebody
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  call or a boy once. And I was really upset that this
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  person said, oh, to my mother, your son is adorable, and my
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  mother was like, oh it's a girl. She's a girl.
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  And I don't even care about that part of it, but I just remember
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  my mother's reaction and that's what I had a reaction to and I
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  was sad about it and I can, I can tell you right now, I'm long
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  past all of this, but I wanted to use it as a Um, you know, as
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  a jumping off point because it's such a good thing to know that
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  often times you do have to recognize that there are
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  emotions behind emotions that are driving us.
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  And when you know them and you can figure them out, it is a
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  speedier process. Don't always have to know them
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  to get by things. Believe me, I do that with
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  people all the time, but when you can recognize that there's
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  an emotion back there, you can work better to change it.
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  So the point is Is I'm still wearing baggy pants and I love
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  baggy pants. And I don't give a damn what
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  anybody thinks and as an adult, now I can see how it all
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  happened, and how it was handled, but just food for
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  thought for you, look for the emotion behind the emotion.
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  All right, my friends. I hope you have a blessed day
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  and I will see you tomorrow. Bye.