Latest / Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing / #58| Achieve Calm and Reduce Overwhelm By Creating A Career Aligned With Your Authentic Self Using Mindfulness

Transcript

#58| Achieve Calm and Reduce Overwhelm By Creating A Career Aligned With Your Authentic Self Using Mindfulness · Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing

• 0:00
  Michelle Gauthier: You've achieved this level of success that might have been a dream in the past and you get there and then you get that 'so what?
• 0:08
  Michelle Gauthier: ' kind of feeling.
• 0:10
  Michelle Gauthier: You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less.
• 0:22
  Michelle Gauthier: I'm your host, Michelle Gauthier, a former overwhelmed working woman and current life coach.
• 0:27
  Michelle Gauthier: On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's working woman experiences.
• 0:31
  Michelle Gauthier: And in each episode, you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease, and relaxation to your life.
• 0:39
  Michelle Gauthier: Hey, friend.
• 0:41
  Michelle Gauthier: Thank you for joining.
• 0:42
  Michelle Gauthier: Today, you're gonna learn so much about what happens when you get burned out, what happens in your mind and your body, and how to get yourself back out of that and into a fulfilling career.
• 0:55
  Michelle Gauthier: Today's guest is Christina Langdon, and she is an executive coach, and she also wrote a book that I absolutely loved called For Success Sake.
• 1:03
  Michelle Gauthier: So she's gonna tell us how to identify feelings of overwhelm and burnout and how she missed those or didn't pay attention to those herself.
• 1:12
  Michelle Gauthier: She's gonna tell you how to redefine success and give you actual tools that you can do to do that.
• 1:18
  Michelle Gauthier: And one great cool thing that she taught me is about creating a user manual for yourself, so you'll learn how to do that as well.
• 1:27
  Michelle Gauthier: By the end of this conversation today, you will know some very practical strategies to help you find fulfillment in your career.
• 1:34
  Michelle Gauthier: Let's get started.
• 1:37
  Christina Langdon: Michelle, thank you for having me on your podcast.
• 1:39
  Christina Langdon: I'm thrilled to be here.
• 1:41
  Michelle Gauthier: Good.
• 1:42
  Michelle Gauthier: I'm so glad.
• 1:43
  Michelle Gauthier: So we have gone back a couple of years, but you obviously had a very impressive - still do have a very impressive - career but it took a major turn.
• 1:53
  Michelle Gauthier: So What what I'm hoping you can tell us, from the beginning, because we have an audience full of women who are working, probably Type A overachievers who are feeling overwhelmed, so I'm wondering if you can tell us, based on your experience.
• 2:07
  Michelle Gauthier: Like I mentioned, you worked for Martha Stewart Living Brands.
• 2:11
  Michelle Gauthier: You worked for Fast Company.
• 2:12
  Michelle Gauthier: So you had this really big, probably stressful career.
• 2:15
  Michelle Gauthier: Did you ever feel like an overwhelmed working woman?
• 2:18
  Michelle Gauthier: And if so, what happened?
• 2:21
  Christina Langdon: I feel like my picture could be next to that person in the dictionary.
• 2:27
  Michelle Gauthier: Okay.
• 2:27
  Michelle Gauthier: Okay.
• 2:30
  Christina Langdon: Almost all of my thirty years, I was that person and I was striving for more until I realized the more I was looking for wasn't what I really wanted.
• 2:40
  Christina Langdon: So, yes, thirty years running sales and marketing teams and having a wildly successful career in media.
• 2:50
  Christina Langdon: I launched more than twenty three media brands.
• 2:53
  Christina Langdon: I think the last title I held was Chief Revenue Officer at Fast Company.
• 2:58
  Christina Langdon: I got to meet Cher! I mean, oh, my gosh.
• 3:01
  Christina Langdon: One of my fun facts.
• 3:03
  Michelle Gauthier: That's so fun.
• 3:04
  Michelle Gauthier: I think that's fun about working in media.
• 3:06
  Michelle Gauthier: I had a business career and I met some people who were like big business- y people.
• 3:10
  Michelle Gauthier: But Cher, she's got universal appeal.
• 3:12
  Michelle Gauthier: That's so cool.
• 3:13
  Christina Langdon: Right.
• 3:14
  Christina Langdon: And if you saw, like, all of the titles on my LinkedIn, you would have said, oh, she's perfect.
• 3:21
  Christina Langdon: Right?
• 3:22
  Christina Langdon: She's got *the* career, when, in fact, that really didn't align with my inner me.
• 3:29
  Christina Langdon: My inner me was really perfectly miserable.
• 3:32
  Christina Langdon: And I had achieved the C- suite, and I thought that when you arrived, and you got to the destination that you've been striving for, that things would get easier.
• 3:42
  Christina Langdon: Now I know that doesn't sound, you know, that you can't even imagine that it would get easier, but my thought was something would give.
• 3:51
  Christina Langdon: And then I'd start to feel all the feelings of success.
• 3:55
  Christina Langdon: And instead, I was feeling out of alignment.
• 3:58
  Christina Langdon: There were, like, nudges.
• 3:59
  Christina Langdon: There were whispers.
• 4:00
  Christina Langdon: I had, like, body aches, of something wasn't quite right.
• 4:04
  Christina Langdon: And I recently read about the kissing cousin they say to burnout, and it's being bored out.
• 4:13
  Christina Langdon: Oh, that's interesting.
• 4:15
  Christina Langdon: Say more.
• 4:17
  Christina Langdon: I'm now kind of reframing this transitional period of my life from a new understanding that I was likely bored out.
• 4:27
  Christina Langdon: Yes, there was burnout.
• 4:28
  Christina Langdon: There were times in my career when I was just running too fast for my body to keep up with.
• 4:35
  Christina Langdon: I mean, I remember getting in the car for my eight minutes in the parking lot after getting off of the hour train ride back from New York City to my home, I'd get in the car and I would turn off the radio because I could not hear one more noise.
• 4:52
  Christina Langdon: I needed; was craving silence.
• 4:55
  Christina Langdon: So I did have some symptoms of burnout.
• 4:58
  Christina Langdon: But now, I have reframing that.
• 5:01
  Christina Langdon: I think I was bored out in terms of the media landscape had been going through cycles of recalibration.
• 5:09
  Christina Langdon: And we were constantly trying to keep up.
• 5:13
  Christina Langdon: And while I loved the pursuit to a degree, I think I had gotten bored of it.
• 5:19
  Christina Langdon: The changing, the pivoting, the being agile in this new media space was no longer serving me.
• 5:27
  Christina Langdon: It wasn't filling me up.
• 5:29
  Christina Langdon: And I was getting filled up doing some other things.
• 5:33
  Christina Langdon: And I wasn't listening to the longing, though I wasn't listening to the whispers.
• 5:37
  Christina Langdon: And ultimately, you know, long story short, but they combined that company, the media brand I was working for, with its sister brand, Inc.
• 5:47
  Christina Langdon: , and in doing that, they actually took out my role.
• 5:51
  Christina Langdon: So I got what I call exiled.
• 5:52
  Christina Langdon: And I was, of course, taken aback.
• 5:55
  Christina Langdon: I was devastated, and my identity had been shaken.
• 6:00
  Christina Langdon: But it really was this gift because shortly thereafter, I had a woman call me who had reported to me at Fast Company, but she'd been out on medical leave.
• 6:11
  Christina Langdon: And she called me and she said I want to let you know you're one of the first calls I'm making now that I'm feeling better.
• 6:17
  Christina Langdon: And I wanna let you know you changed my life personally and professionally.
• 6:21
  Christina Langdon: And she said, I think you should be a coach.
• 6:24
  Michelle Gauthier: Oh, my gosh.
• 6:25
  Michelle Gauthier: I love that she took the time to call you and say that.
• 6:28
  Michelle Gauthier: That's such a good reminder.
• 6:29
  Michelle Gauthier: Okay?
• 6:30
  Michelle Gauthier: Go on.
• 6:31
  Christina Langdon: I think I almost fell out of my chair.
• 6:33
  Christina Langdon: I can see where I was sitting.
• 6:35
  Christina Langdon: I can feel the - my cell phone against my face.
• 6:38
  Christina Langdon: Like, it was a moment that I can go right back to.
• 6:42
  Michelle Gauthier: Yeah.
• 6:42
  Christina Langdon: And I had thought about it before, because I knew I loved helping people.
• 6:48
  Christina Langdon: I knew I loved helping people see what they couldn't see.
• 6:51
  Christina Langdon: And even when I did the work to get reconnected with myself to really kind of understand the longings, like, what was it?
• 6:59
  Christina Langdon: What were the signals telling me?
• 7:01
  Christina Langdon: When I started getting more reconnected with myself, I went back and did a mining exercise to look for the threads in my career and in my wants and my desires.
• 7:12
  Christina Langdon: And I had always had leadership positions even going back like, to when I was a teenager.
• 7:18
  Christina Langdon: And some of those were sales.
• 7:21
  Christina Langdon: So I would have, beforehand, said, oh, it's that the Red Thread is sales.
• 7:25
  Christina Langdon: But when I really did the diagnostic, I really saw that it was me trying to help people, you know, get larger commissions.
• 7:34
  Christina Langdon: It was me trying to teach people, to advise people to help them achieve more than they thought they could.
• 7:40
  Christina Langdon: And then I remember I did work from Martha Stewart for close to twenty years.
• 7:46
  Christina Langdon: And it was a brand in super growth mode, particularly early on.
• 7:54
  Christina Langdon: And it was also a brand that was in super crisis mode.
• 7:57
  Christina Langdon: I remember.
• 7:58
  Christina Langdon: It was crazy.
• 8:01
  Christina Langdon: I bet.
• 8:02
  Christina Langdon: And in looking at and auditing my history and auditing looking for, like, clues of success.
• 8:10
  Christina Langdon: I saw that, like, on any given free lunch hour, earlier in my career in management, I would go to the Barnes and Noble on forty sixth Street, like three or four blocks up from my office, and you could find me in the self- help aisles.
• 8:26
  Christina Langdon: You could find me in the business management aisles.
• 8:28
  Christina Langdon: So this was something that was with me for a really, really long time.
• 8:33
  Christina Langdon: Like, this was a love I had.
• 8:34
  Christina Langdon: It was a passion that I had.
• 8:36
  Christina Langdon: And I - one of the reasons why I wrote the book For Success Sake, was because I did go through a rediscovery process, but as I was doing it, I was diagnosed with AML leukemia.
• 8:49
  Christina Langdon: And I was diagnosed hours after I had given my first personal development workshop.
• 8:59
  Christina Langdon: Oh, wow.
• 9:00
  Christina Langdon: Yeah.
• 9:01
  Christina Langdon: I pulled eight people, eight wonderful humans.
• 9:04
  Christina Langdon: These wonderful women that were striving for more and didn't know what more looked like.
• 9:08
  Christina Langdon: And they participated in a half day workshop with me.
• 9:14
  Christina Langdon: And it was so fun.
• 9:15
  Christina Langdon: And and I when I got there, I was in the middle of my content and I could feel that, like, I had come home.
• 9:23
  Christina Langdon: This was right.
• 9:24
  Christina Langdon: I was so excited.
• 9:25
  Christina Langdon: And while I had so many judgments about myself - like, I was really living by the expectations that others had for me.
• 9:34
  Michelle Gauthier: Absolutely.
• 9:35
  Michelle Gauthier: I feel like that's what everyone does until they realize they're doing it and that that sucks.
• 9:40
  Michelle Gauthier: And then you have to reconsider.
• 9:42
  Michelle Gauthier: Yes.
• 9:43
  Michelle Gauthier: That's very common that our enoughness comes from what other people think about what we're achieving.
• 9:50
  Christina Langdon: And then, doesn't it, it gets even worse when you're living by those expectations and then they become your own.
• 9:57
  Michelle Gauthier: Exactly.
• 9:58
  Christina Langdon: So, like, I was living by the expectations of others, and then I was thinking that, well, that's the expectation I have for myself.
• 10:04
  Christina Langdon: So it was like a double disappointment.
• 10:06
  Christina Langdon: Yeah.
• 10:06
  Christina Langdon: Cool.
• 10:07
  Christina Langdon: So I had this workshop, and I remember feeling so wonderful about it, feeling like I was having impact and at the same time wasn't feeling well.
• 10:19
  Christina Langdon: So I was diagnosed and put into the hospital for my first stay, it was like thirty six or thirty seven days.
• 10:26
  Christina Langdon: And they say if you can survive the first stay in the hospital, you'll be on a treatment that could last a year or so.
• 10:34
  Christina Langdon: And I think I felt robbed.
• 10:37
  Michelle Gauthier: Okay.
• 10:37
  Michelle Gauthier: Yeah.
• 10:38
  Michelle Gauthier: So this sounds serious.
• 10:40
  Michelle Gauthier: This because I know not all cancers are equal, but when they found out you had it, it was like you have this now you're going to be in the hospital for the next thirty six days.
• 10:49
  Christina Langdon: It's emergent.
• 10:50
  Christina Langdon: So when you're finally diagnosed with it, you need to be in the hospital immediately because you're likely at a critical - I was critical when they finally admitted me several hours later.
• 11:01
  Christina Langdon: Okay.
• 11:01
  Christina Langdon: Gosh.
• 11:02
  Christina Langdon: Yeah.
• 11:03
  Christina Langdon: And it was a year's worth of treatment and typically, they say the first stay is about twenty five days.
• 11:09
  Christina Langdon: There is a regimen to it, but for me, it took a little bit longer because you have side effects and whatnot.
• 11:14
  Christina Langdon: And I wrote the book because I felt like I had had significant health issues throughout my career.
• 11:23
  Christina Langdon: This was, of course, a much more serious one, but I was angry at myself for not listening to the longings, for not listening for my burnout, for not listening to my bored out, which I really see so much clearly now that I read about it.
• 11:39
  Christina Langdon: And I want every woman to not wait for a crisis.
• 11:49
  Michelle Gauthier: For the next thirty days, I'm opening up coaching spots to work with me personally in a one on one situation.
• 11:56
  Michelle Gauthier: This is for you if you are a woman who wakes up in the morning, already feeling exhausted, the woman who does everything for everyone all the time.
• 12:05
  Michelle Gauthier: If you have a stressful job that requires a ton of effort in hours, but you also find yourself volunteering at your kid's school despite really not having the time to do it, or the alternative, not volunteering, but feeling really guilty about it.
• 12:18
  Michelle Gauthier: If you feel like you can never get to the bottom of your to do list or maybe you find yourself just abruptly lashing out at your kids or your spouse because you're overworked and overwhelmed.
• 12:27
  Michelle Gauthier: If any of those sound like you, you are probably trapped in cycle of overwhelm where you're struggling to manage your time, yet you keep saying yes to everything that anyone asks of you.
• 12:38
  Michelle Gauthier: You don't want anybody to be disappointed if you say no, plus if you don't do it ,who will, all this only leads to more resentment, both of yourself and other people.
• 12:47
  Michelle Gauthier: So you might think the solution is mastering time management, like maybe getting the newest productivity app or getting a new planner or simply cleaning out your closet or getting your house organized.
• 12:58
  Michelle Gauthier: All that stuff is great.
• 13:00
  Michelle Gauthier: But after helping a hundred plus women over the past six years, I noticed that the first step, a calm mind, and becoming mindful is an absolute must do.
• 13:11
  Michelle Gauthier: Yet most people totally skip this.
• 13:13
  Michelle Gauthier: Maybe they think it's fluff.
• 13:15
  Michelle Gauthier: Instead, they just keep working harder and harder.
• 13:17
  Michelle Gauthier: And I know when I was in that situation, that's exactly what I did to try to do more in an effort to feel better.
• 13:23
  Michelle Gauthier: And maybe that brings relief from the overwhelm for like an hour or even a day, but it's just not a permanent solution to feeling better.
• 13:30
  Michelle Gauthier: And it's really hard to try to solve overwhelm on your own when you don't have hands- on guidance helping you through a proven process like I've created.
• 13:38
  Michelle Gauthier: And that is exactly why I'm opening up my one on one coaching to our listeners.
• 13:43
  Michelle Gauthier: Where I'll be with you and help you every step of the way.
• 13:47
  Michelle Gauthier: We'll start with that mindfulness to create a calm and clear mind.
• 13:51
  Michelle Gauthier: You'll learn how to say no, you'll start choosing what's best for you for once.
• 13:55
  Michelle Gauthier: And little by little, your life will start to feel intentional, calm, and much more peaceful.
• 14:00
  Michelle Gauthier: So if you are looking to enjoy your life more, including your work, and maybe have a secret dream to quit your corporate job and replace your income with a new business or a whole new industry.
• 14:11
  Michelle Gauthier: Or if you're looking just to be present and have fun with your family when you aren't working, or if you really want to finally put yourself first and have the courage to say no without feeling like you're letting someone down or maybe the combination of all three of those at same time, this is totally the opportunity for you.
• 14:28
  Michelle Gauthier: I honestly really don't have many spots open and the price for my one on one coaching is going up by twenty five percent.
• 14:35
  Michelle Gauthier: And that's why I'm telling you about this today.
• 14:37
  Michelle Gauthier: Only for podcast listeners - this is the only place I'm gonna be mentioning this.
• 14:41
  Michelle Gauthier: You can join at the current price.
• 14:42
  Michelle Gauthier: The link to set up a free consultation is in the show notes.
• 14:46
  Michelle Gauthier: Let's solve your overwhelm together.
• 14:48
  Michelle Gauthier: I wanna go back back a couple comments because I feel like the first indicator - this was true, it sounds like, for you, and for me and my story, is you've achieved this level of success that might have been a dream in the past and you get there and then you get that 'so what?
• 15:12
  Michelle Gauthier: ' kind of feeling.
• 15:13
  Michelle Gauthier: Like, okay.
• 15:14
  Michelle Gauthier: I achieved I achieved I achieved.
• 15:16
  Michelle Gauthier: Yeah.
• 15:17
  Michelle Gauthier: And it's like if I would have made a vision board when I got out of college, I could have checked off everything on the list now, but it doesn't feel like I thought it was gonna feel like you said I thought it was gonna be easier.
• 15:29
  Michelle Gauthier: I thought it was gonna feel fulfilling or like that was it.
• 15:32
  Michelle Gauthier: I got to the top of what I was trying to get to.
• 15:35
  Michelle Gauthier: And so I think for anybody who has whatever version of that you have, if you've got sort of you know, big time position or the job that you thought you always wanted, but you don't feel that alignment in your body, in your soul, like, this is it.
• 15:52
  Michelle Gauthier: Just pay attention to that, I think is the message coming from you and me.
• 15:57
  Christina Langdon: It's like a it's like a huge signal and it can show up with, like, body aches.
• 16:02
  Christina Langdon: It can show up like that, like, whisper or that dream that you keep having over and over again.
• 16:08
  Christina Langdon: And what I would also offer, because we're always looking for tools, many of us are walking around a little bit disconnected from ourselves because, you know, we go on as busy working women.
• 16:19
  Christina Langdon: Right?
• 16:20
  Christina Langdon: We are 'on' the default of the day.
• 16:23
  Christina Langdon: Right?
• 16:23
  Christina Langdon: Yep.
• 16:24
  Christina Langdon: Most of us research shows we spend more time planning our vacations than we do planning our future.
• 16:31
  Michelle Gauthier: That totally, I mean, that's a sad state, but I read that in your book, and I thought, Oh, I believe that, especially when I was in that type of position.
• 16:40
  Michelle Gauthier: I would spend so much time spend spending planning that one week of vacation or two weeks of vacation a year, like, that was the biggest thing.
• 16:49
  Michelle Gauthier: And we'll just see what happens, you know, to the rest of it.
• 16:55
  Michelle Gauthier: Okay.
• 16:56
  Michelle Gauthier: So you had that initial sort of knowing that you ignored essentially.
• 17:02
  Michelle Gauthier: Like, you didn't know exactly what it was.
• 17:04
  Michelle Gauthier: I think what we're saying, I don't wanna put words in your mouth, but I think what I hear you saying is because you were focused on your success being the way that other people saw you, like, the external version of success that you couldn't even entertain doing something else.
• 17:22
  Christina Langdon: Yes, exactly.
• 17:22
  Christina Langdon: I, like, had the you know, blinders on.
• 17:26
  Christina Langdon: And it wasn't until I really took stock of, like, how would I define success - we don't spend enough time actually defining it.
• 17:38
  Christina Langdon: And it's going to be different for other people.
• 17:41
  Christina Langdon: And also, we know that success isn't money or things, but sometimes we look to them to be the measuring stick when in and we really need to be thinking about what are the feelings that we wanna be having in pursuit of the future that we're trying to create.
• 18:01
  Christina Langdon: And for me, that future had it had an ending of being in the C-Suite.
• 18:05
  Christina Langdon: But when I realized when I got there, I was, like, just swimming towards the horizon.
• 18:08
  Christina Langdon: Like,
• 18:12
  Michelle Gauthier: Yes.
• 18:13
  Michelle Gauthier: Exactly.
• 18:13
  Michelle Gauthier: So I think for anybody who has that little inkling, that little feeling, I think your book is a great place for them to start.
• 18:21
  Michelle Gauthier: So I just wanna say, I have it - they can't see on the podcast, but I have it here on our video together, and I absolutely loved your book.
• 18:30
  Michelle Gauthier: I thought it was fantastic.
• 18:31
  Michelle Gauthier: It's called For Success Sake.
• 18:33
  Michelle Gauthier: We'll link it in the show notes, of course.
• 18:36
  Michelle Gauthier: But what you can't see is that I have all kinds of pink post it notes sticking out of it and lots of folded pages and things because it is just such a great book and I what I love so much and this is especially good if you're feeling overwhelmed as each chapter is, like, two to three pages is, I would say, and it has a very actionable thing for you to either think about or sometimes it suggests an exercise.
• 19:00
  Michelle Gauthier: So if you feel like the version of success that you're having right now isn't actually success to you, this is a great book just to get you started on what you might want to do next.
• 19:12
  Michelle Gauthier: And if it's okay with you, I just wanna ask you, like, a couple specific questions.
• 19:17
  Michelle Gauthier: So first of all, I was reading this book and thinking, okay, I'll ask her about that.
• 19:23
  Michelle Gauthier: I'll ask her about that.
• 19:23
  Michelle Gauthier: I'll ask her about that.
• 19:24
  Michelle Gauthier: Then I come back and I have like fifteen things and I'm like, this is not a six hour podcast.
• 19:28
  Michelle Gauthier: I made the difficult decision of choosing just a few.
• 19:31
  Michelle Gauthier: But the first, I wanna just read you this one paragraph from the the chapter called Perfectly Miserable - even the title, I was like, a men, sister.
• 19:40
  Michelle Gauthier: Okay.
• 19:40
  Michelle Gauthier: So this is what Christina says in her book: "I looked happy, put together in love with life, but inside, I wanted something different.
• 19:47
  Michelle Gauthier: What was I missing?
• 19:49
  Michelle Gauthier: Why was it all so hard on paper?
• 19:51
  Michelle Gauthier: I was perfect.
• 19:52
  Michelle Gauthier: When in reality, I was perfectly miserable.
• 19:55
  Michelle Gauthier: The inner me didn't match the outer me.
• 19:57
  Michelle Gauthier: Spitting on the daily hamster wheel had become my default.
• 20:00
  Michelle Gauthier: It was an excellent excuse for not dealing with how and what I was feeling.
• 20:05
  Michelle Gauthier: So I think, again, a lot of listeners will really resonate with that sentiment.
• 20:11
  Michelle Gauthier: So tell me how you think we get there and then maybe the first mover to to get out of that perfectly miserable state.
• 20:21
  Christina Langdon: Well, let me ask you, how did you get how did you finally get there?
• 20:25
  Christina Langdon: Do you know?
• 20:26
  Michelle Gauthier: Yes.
• 20:27
  Michelle Gauthier: On getting out of the perfectly miserable state, yeah, it was much very similar to yours, that life offered me some circumstances.
• 20:34
  Michelle Gauthier: I think I would have stayed in my corporate job.
• 20:38
  Michelle Gauthier: I don't know what had to happen, but our whole business was being sold.
• 20:41
  Michelle Gauthier: And that was a complete surprise.
• 20:44
  Michelle Gauthier: And I started interviewing for other, like, similar positions at other companies, and I just - I got a job.
• 20:50
  Michelle Gauthier: And I was like, there is no part of me that wants this job.
• 20:55
  Michelle Gauthier: Like, I could just feel it in my soul.
• 20:57
  Michelle Gauthier: So it was the fact that I had to, I was forced to potentially change jobs, and I had just had no I'm, like, putting my hand over my chest.
• 21:06
  Michelle Gauthier: Like, my chest was just empty on it.
• 21:09
  Michelle Gauthier: And when I thought back to, well, I liked my old job with that company, what was it that I liked and what I loved, which was totally unrelated to the position that I held, is that I led the women's network.
• 21:20
  Michelle Gauthier: And I loved that.
• 21:22
  Michelle Gauthier: I loved mentoring women in their careers.
• 21:25
  Michelle Gauthier: I loved bringing them content, not from me; I didn't create it at the time, but, you know, bringing content or speakers or whoever and just doing those kinds of things that, like, brought happiness to my soul.
• 21:37
  Michelle Gauthier: And so it was then that I realized, like, you said, we think it's money, we think it's stuff, but, like, when I had the most money ever, I was probably the least happy.
• 21:47
  Michelle Gauthier: And so putting all that together and
• 21:50
  Christina Langdon: - not even being able to enjoy the money.
• 21:52
  Michelle Gauthier: Yeah.
• 21:53
  Michelle Gauthier: Exactly.
• 21:53
  Michelle Gauthier: I mean, that's exactly it.
• 21:56
  Michelle Gauthier: Yes.
• 21:56
  Michelle Gauthier: Exactly precisely.
• 21:57
  Michelle Gauthier: So I was kind of forced into it, and I think it sounds like you had that same situation where there was a change with your job that sort of forced it, not that you couldn't have gotten another job, but I what I always want to offer to people is if you don't have the forced thing, forced yourself realize it yourself, you know.
• 22:17
  Michelle Gauthier: Life's too short.
• 22:19
  Michelle Gauthier: Life is too short.
• 22:20
  Christina Langdon: So a lot of what you just shared is something that I I work on with people when they are sort of feeling out of alignment or they are wanting more or they're having a longing for something different - you don't have to change your job if you don't want to.
• 22:36
  Christina Langdon: But if you want to feel like you're mattering more, let's say, make a must- have list and make a never- again list.
• 22:44
  Christina Langdon: Oh, I must be surrounded by people that light me up that lift me up.
• 22:50
  Christina Langdon: Right?
• 22:50
  Christina Langdon: My must- have list is pretty clear.
• 22:53
  Christina Langdon: And on my must- have list, which I added to over time, was something that occurred to me at my time at Fast Company, it was that if I ever got through this job, before I knew I was gonna get booted, I said I'll never work for somebody again.
• 23:11
  Michelle Gauthier: Oh, wow.
• 23:12
  Michelle Gauthier: I love that.
• 23:13
  Christina Langdon: I mean, in that role, that I'd never work for anybody but myself again.
• 23:17
  Christina Langdon: And so that was on my must have list.
• 23:20
  Christina Langdon: I will not work for anybody else but me.
• 23:22
  Christina Langdon: And then the never again list, oh, I was really clear about the never again, of course, not working for somebody else again.
• 23:29
  Christina Langdon: It fits there as well.
• 23:30
  Christina Langdon: But the never again was being unhealthy, not being able to take time for myself.
• 23:38
  Christina Langdon: The list there was very holistic and some of it's tangibles, some of its intangibles and taken together If you have these two lists, they become, they can become your filter for making decisions as you go forward.
• 23:54
  Christina Langdon: The more we can bring awareness, the more we can bring specificity to what we want for our success, for our life, for our fulfillment, for our mattering.
• 24:04
  Christina Langdon: Everything has to be defined.
• 24:05
  Christina Langdon: If we don't define it, we're just swimming towards that horizon.
• 24:09
  Christina Langdon: Right?
• 24:09
  Christina Langdon: Yes.
• 24:10
  Christina Langdon: So the must- have and the never- again.
• 24:12
  Christina Langdon: And then where people I think get tripped up is inside that same chapter.
• 24:18
  Christina Langdon: It ends with the exercise.
• 24:20
  Christina Langdon: It's the tens exercise.
• 24:22
  Christina Langdon: What people resist doing is going back and acknowledging themselves, going back and really looking at what are the, you know, people will say, well, I want more joy or I want more freedom.
• 24:36
  Christina Langdon: And why don't like, I offer that that you go back and look for the joy and the freedom.
• 24:41
  Christina Langdon: Where have where have you had it in your past?
• 24:44
  Christina Langdon: Where have you experienced it before in your past?
• 24:47
  Christina Langdon: Because if we can re experience it, reimagine it by replying it, then we can then go recreate it a lot more easily.
• 24:57
  Christina Langdon: And we also, when we do an audit of our tens, it always ends in realizing, wow, we've done a lot more.
• 25:05
  Christina Langdon: We've created so much more than we've ever given ourselves credit for.
• 25:10
  Christina Langdon: Women, as you know, we don't give ourselves credit for anything.
• 25:14
  Michelle Gauthier: Sure don't.
• 25:15
  Michelle Gauthier: I'm gonna read a couple of the the tens just to give you an idea of what Christine is talking about.
• 25:22
  Michelle Gauthier: So she suggests that you make a list of ten big surprises around how you've handled the roughest time, ten moments of joy, ten experiences you would do again.
• 25:31
  Michelle Gauthier: Ten things you learned this past year, ten opportunities you created, ten things you're grateful for today.
• 25:37
  Michelle Gauthier: I just think those are all awesome.
• 25:40
  Michelle Gauthier: And I think you and I both know as coaches that when someone starts to try to do this, their brain might come up blank.
• 25:47
  Michelle Gauthier: Like, oh, I can't think of anything I'm grateful for, I'm so unhappy right now.
• 25:51
  Michelle Gauthier: And so if you feel that way, you just have to - sometimes it's helpful even to look back at your calendar and see what you've done and you know, find these things because they're there, but our brain is skipping over them, especially when you're in survival mode.
• 26:05
  Christina Langdon: And oftentimes, we have to find the evidence of own success.
• 26:10
  Christina Langdon: And so use it as a discovery as just, you know, be the scientist of your own life, if you will.
• 26:16
  Christina Langdon: The one that the people have most trouble with is the ten things that I've created.
• 26:21
  Christina Langdon: You see how it's written as 'I've created'.
• 26:24
  Christina Langdon: There's ownership in it.
• 26:25
  Christina Langdon: There's responsibility in it.
• 26:27
  Christina Langdon: People would think, well, I don't wanna like, I didn't do it on myself.
• 26:31
  Christina Langdon: Like, women, right.
• 26:33
  Christina Langdon: It's us really not allowing ourselves to believe and to take credit for something that we've done.
• 26:42
  Christina Langdon: And I'm working with a gal right now who I've known for twenty years.
• 26:47
  Christina Langdon: Okay.
• 26:48
  Christina Langdon: She's like, you know, that's the hardest one, I I can't really think of anybody.
• 26:52
  Christina Langdon: Well, I had she worked for me.
• 26:54
  Christina Langdon: So I know.
• 26:56
  Michelle Gauthier: You're like, I can tell you.
• 26:57
  Michelle Gauthier: Yeah.
• 26:58
  Christina Langdon: So it's just like, oh, oh, oh, oh, maybe you're right.
• 27:01
  Christina Langdon: So that's one that people struggle with, but that's the gateway.
• 27:04
  Christina Langdon: Like, you get through that, and you can create so much more for your life.
• 27:11
  Michelle Gauthier: Yeah.
• 27:12
  Michelle Gauthier: And I feel like if people got your book and they just read that which is like three pages and did that required exercise, they would be set to start moving on, you know, just to get out of this stuck place and start to move on.
• 27:26
  Michelle Gauthier: So I think that is fantastic.
• 27:28
  Michelle Gauthier: Okay.
• 27:29
  Michelle Gauthier: Then I have one other specific chapter that I wanted to talk about because I thought it was such a brilliant way to look at it, and it's called User Manuals are Not Only for Cars and Appliances.
• 27:39
  Michelle Gauthier: Which I love because, yeah, I don't ever read actual user manuals, but this one I could.
• 27:47
  Michelle Gauthier: So do you wanna tell us a little bit about that?
• 27:49
  Michelle Gauthier: And I can read some of the examples or you can tell some examples of what could be on someone's user manual and why this could be an important thing for someone's leadership development.
• 27:59
  Christina Langdon: Yeah, this is something and I'll - I would love for you to read some of them, but this is, it came to me by way of The Corner Office, which was a article - I think it was a monthly article in the New York Times.
• 28:14
  Christina Langdon: It was called The Corner Office.
• 28:15
  Christina Langdon: And some CEO shared his user manual, and it gave me the idea of that we should all have user manuals, user manuals that we share ahead of time, user manuals that we share at the start of every engagement, every team meeting, ahead of every job that we take that allows people to understand us better.
• 28:40
  Christina Langdon: You know, part of when we are coming into a new job or leading a new team is that everybody has to get up to speed with each other.
• 28:47
  Christina Langdon: Everybody has to get to know each other And it's a faster way of getting people to work with you.
• 28:53
  Christina Langdon: If they know you better sooner, then they can get back to work.
• 28:56
  Christina Langdon: So I remember reading this and using it as a framework when I started at Fast Company.
• 29:02
  Christina Langdon: And so I arrived there and they hadn't had a leader in about a year.
• 29:06
  Christina Langdon: Morale was down and the ship really needed turning around there.
• 29:11
  Christina Langdon: So I wanted to get right to work.
• 29:12
  Christina Langdon: There wasn't a lot of time.
• 29:14
  Christina Langdon: And I showed up and I shared what my user manual was and a lot of it came from who I am as person, one of which is I'm very direct.
• 29:24
  Christina Langdon: And that's another chapter in the book where I shared that my directness is something that I now see as a gift and that people who know me really well know that my directness is always in pursuit of them and being better.
• 29:41
  Christina Langdon: And it really meant that I had people's back.
• 29:44
  Christina Langdon: And I shared that that first day at Fast Company when I am not direct, I'm not myself.
• 29:52
  Christina Langdon: So that's when you're getting me sort of at my best.
• 29:56
  Christina Langdon: I shared that my family was my always my first priority, my three children - we both had raised our kids primarily on our own, right.
• 30:07
  Christina Langdon: And they were my priority.
• 30:09
  Christina Langdon: I shared how I like to communicate.
• 30:12
  Christina Langdon: And we went through the best way to reach out to me for a status or for an emergency, very different forms of communication.
• 30:23
  Christina Langdon: I shared that I work to overdeliver - to over deliver on how I manage people, over deliver for my clients, and that I expected the same from them.
• 30:36
  Christina Langdon: In the user manual, I also shared what my expectations were for people that worked for me.
• 30:42
  Christina Langdon: So I was really clear.
• 30:44
  Christina Langdon: People knew what was going to be the sort of script for them to follow.
• 30:52
  Michelle Gauthier: I absolutely love it.
• 30:53
  Michelle Gauthier: And I think if you think about it as the receiver of something like that, it would be so nice.
• 30:59
  Michelle Gauthier: I'm thinking of as a employee or even a coach coaching relationship, it would just be nice to know.
• 31:06
  Michelle Gauthier: And I think how eye opening it would be if everyone created their own user manual for themselves because if you, for example, like one of these is where I can use the most help, what activities give me energy, what I don't have patience for, how I handle conflict.
• 31:22
  Michelle Gauthier: So if you end up doing that for yourself and you see it and you realize, wow, the work situation that I'm in right now doesn't give me that opportunity to exercise that like, for example, I think you said this too about yourself, but I'm great at big ideas, big direction, whatever, little details, nope, not my thing.
• 31:42
  Michelle Gauthier: So if I'm in a job where I'm doing something that's very detailed, I'm gonna feel unhappy about it.
• 31:47
  Michelle Gauthier: So I think knowing this about yourself is super powerful as well as sharing it.
• 31:52
  Michelle Gauthier: Speaking of super powerful, like everybody has their superpowers.
• 31:57
  Christina Langdon: My superpower is not technology.
• 31:59
  Christina Langdon: So where I need help is with technology.
• 32:02
  Christina Langdon: Where I need help is with organization.
• 32:04
  Christina Langdon: Most teams, like, we don't want eleven quarterbacks.
• 32:08
  Christina Langdon: Right?
• 32:09
  Christina Langdon: We want people playing different positions that they're really good at so that we can you know, win the game of business that we're in.
• 32:16
  Christina Langdon: So what's nice about people knowing that I'm not great at organization, not great at technology is that I can pull from my team members who have shared their user manual with me and have said, I'm great at organization.
• 32:29
  Christina Langdon: I'm really great at technology.
• 32:30
  Christina Langdon: I know who to go to, to give me the help that I need.
• 32:35
  Michelle Gauthier: Yeah.
• 32:35
  Michelle Gauthier: Exactly.
• 32:36
  Michelle Gauthier: And that's perfect.
• 32:37
  Michelle Gauthier: Well, again, I just absolutely love the book.
• 32:39
  Michelle Gauthier: I think it's so practical and useful and fun.
• 32:42
  Michelle Gauthier: And it's even cute.
• 32:43
  Michelle Gauthier: I love the cover.
• 32:44
  Michelle Gauthier: I love to put it on this shelf in my office where my books are shown.
• 32:48
  Michelle Gauthier: He's so cute.
• 32:50
  Michelle Gauthier: We will link that in the show notes, but I just wanna ask you.
• 32:54
  Michelle Gauthier: So right now, I've just started doing a mini segment at the end where I ask everyone the same two questions.
• 33:00
  Michelle Gauthier: So I want to ask you the first question which is, what is something that you do to make yourself feel calm, more calm when you're overwhelmed, just like a simple go to that you can do.
• 33:12
  Christina Langdon: Well, there's a few things.
• 33:13
  Christina Langdon: I mean, I write in my journal every morning.
• 33:16
  Christina Langdon: I think the greatest calmness I can bring to myself is the ability to see my crazy head on paper.
• 33:22
  Michelle Gauthier: Mhmm.
• 33:24
  Christina Langdon: And ask myself what's really important there.
• 33:27
  Michelle Gauthier: Yeah.
• 33:27
  Michelle Gauthier: So once you do that, once you see that, sometimes I think even seeing it, just on paper, it just gives you a different way of looking at it.
• 33:35
  Michelle Gauthier: Like, you don't believe it.
• 33:36
  Michelle Gauthier: You just see it as some words on the paper.
• 33:38
  Michelle Gauthier: But does that then make you feel calm so that you can just start your day and be productive.
• 33:44
  Christina Langdon: I think that the days that I don't have a good day, if I look back, I can generally see that the days that are more overwhelming are the days that I didn't journal.
• 33:54
  Michelle Gauthier: Yeah.
• 33:54
  Michelle Gauthier: And you and I are the same on this that we both love to take action.
• 33:58
  Michelle Gauthier: And so sometimes doing that journaling feels like a nonessential item.
• 34:03
  Michelle Gauthier: Like, well, I could, you know, publish this podcast or reach out to this person or whatever and really taking the time to journal is kind of a must-have.
• 34:12
  Christina Langdon: I'm very focused on who am I becoming.
• 34:15
  Christina Langdon: So in the overwhelm, right, was staying clear, really focused on those things that are in pursuit of who you are becoming.
• 34:23
  Christina Langdon: And I've written in the book about my to my future list.
• 34:26
  Christina Langdon: So part of what brings me calmness is feeling that I'm staying on my path to the future that I'm trying to create.
• 34:37
  Christina Langdon: And if I am, then that brings me calm.
• 34:42
  Christina Langdon: I know it's overwhelming right now.
• 34:43
  Christina Langdon: I know I'm going to get through it, particularly if you're focusing on the things that are where I'm pitching to from my future.
• 34:52
  Michelle Gauthier: Yep.
• 34:52
  Michelle Gauthier: Absolutely.
• 34:53
  Michelle Gauthier: Okay.
• 34:54
  Michelle Gauthier: And then the second question is, what's something that you do consistently that allows you to either do less or save time.
• 35:02
  Michelle Gauthier: We talk a lot about how as overwhelmed working women, we don't actually have to do everything.
• 35:07
  Michelle Gauthier: So what's something you do that saves you time or allows you to do less?
• 35:12
  Christina Langdon: Oh my gosh.
• 35:13
  Christina Langdon: I will I'm the orderer.
• 35:14
  Christina Langdon: I think I told I told you at the top of this podcast that I was having my food delivery today.
• 35:20
  Christina Langdon: Exactly.
• 35:21
  Christina Langdon: So when I was working in the city and commuting all that time, I farmed out as much as I could, from the dry cleaning to the food, so for sure, but what I think I've learned when I've looked at it is that bringing process into my life is really important.
• 35:38
  Christina Langdon: The rituals of my life.
• 35:41
  Christina Langdon: Because if I stay on ritual, if I stay on my processes that I establish for myself, I end up feeling more in control.
• 35:48
  Christina Langdon: And I end up having more free time.
• 35:51
  Christina Langdon: So the process and they don't want to think, maybe feel, like I'm a robot.
• 35:55
  Christina Langdon: But I do believe that being intentional, deliberate, and consistent on the things that mean the most to you will give you back so much time to create more of what you want.
• 36:09
  Christina Langdon: So I think that's that that's fine.
• 36:12
  Michelle Gauthier: I totally agree.
• 36:13
  Michelle Gauthier: I just recently have started writing down, and I'm recording podcast episodes on my own Sunday reset that I do.
• 36:21
  Michelle Gauthier: For example, I will look in my fridge and clean it out.
• 36:25
  Michelle Gauthier: It's like a fifteen minute thing.
• 36:26
  Michelle Gauthier: You know, if you don't clean out your fridge, when you do it, it's like two hours and it's never - it's always when you're about to have company or something and if I just do it every Sunday when I plan the meals in order to order the groceries, it's so much easier, and I I can't even imagine how much time I save over time because then you also see what's in there.
• 36:43
  Michelle Gauthier: Like, I have a tendency to order something we already have or not know we're missing something.
• 36:48
  Michelle Gauthier: So I know exactly what you mean when you say that.
• 36:51
  Michelle Gauthier: That's really great.
• 36:52
  Christina Langdon: I'm gonna do that from now on.
• 36:54
  Christina Langdon: That's gonna be part of my process.
• 36:56
  Michelle Gauthier: Awesome.
• 36:57
  Michelle Gauthier: Put it on the process map.
• 36:58
  Michelle Gauthier: I used to do a ton of process maps in my corporate job, so I I always think in that way, like, I see the picture of okay, if this happens, then we do this.
• 37:06
  Michelle Gauthier: We're gonna put the link to the book in the show notes.
• 37:10
  Michelle Gauthier: And then if people are interested in coaching with you, can you tell us where they can find you and maybe you who you coach your most ideal clients.
• 37:21
  Christina Langdon: So I coach high achievers and visionary leaders and I help them scale their mind to scale their life and their business, and I do one on one coaching, I do retreats, and I have a class that's called Success Unleashed that takes the book and really puts it into action.
• 37:39
  Christina Langdon: People can stay in touch with me.
• 37:42
  Christina Langdon: I am on Instagram @ Christina LangdonBossLady.
• 37:47
  Christina Langdon: And you can subscribe to my newsletter, which is the Sunday Sunshine newsletter.
• 37:53
  Christina Langdon: You can get there on my website, christina langdon.
• 37:56
  Christina Langdon: com.
• 37:57
  Christina Langdon: I started writing it a little over four years ago to combat the Sunday Scaries.
• 38:03
  Christina Langdon: The scaries that we feel on Sunday is ahead of the work week ahead.
• 38:07
  Christina Langdon: And like the book, I try to give a new perspective, a new thought and you exercise to help you enter the workweek feeling energized.
• 38:17
  Michelle Gauthier: I love it.
• 38:17
  Michelle Gauthier: And I think what you're putting into the world is so lovely.
• 38:21
  Michelle Gauthier: You're just a fantastic person.
• 38:23
  Michelle Gauthier: I feel like you're so supportive of women.
• 38:25
  Michelle Gauthier: Trying to get us all to be our very best.
• 38:28
  Michelle Gauthier: So thank you for what you're putting out into the world.
• 38:31
  Michelle Gauthier: And just another random compliment.
• 38:33
  Michelle Gauthier: I think you're the best dressed person I know.
• 38:35
  Christina Langdon: Oh my god.
• 38:36
  Christina Langdon: That's huge compliment coming from you.
• 38:38
  Christina Langdon: Oh, yeah.
• 38:39
  Christina Langdon: I remember all your fancy outfits when we met.
• 38:42
  Christina Langdon: Thank you.
• 38:43
  Christina Langdon: Yes.
• 38:44
  Michelle Gauthier: Yes.
• 38:44
  Michelle Gauthier: No, you are.
• 38:45
  Michelle Gauthier: You're always dressed to the nines.
• 38:47
  Michelle Gauthier: You give out the ultimate professional look at all times.
• 38:50
  Michelle Gauthier: I love it.
• 38:51
  Michelle Gauthier: Well, thank you so much for being here and I just I love what you're doing and I love being friends with you and learning from you and I loved your books, so thank you so much.
• 39:01
  Christina Langdon: And I love your podcast and I hope that more and more people get to listen to it so that they can see the overworkness and see what they can really do to help bring some balance to their life.
• 39:13
  Michelle Gauthier: Yes.
• 39:14
  Michelle Gauthier: Yes.
• 39:14
  Michelle Gauthier: We can totally team up if they read your anti- Sunday scaries on Sunday, and then they listen to this podcast on Monday mornings.
• 39:21
  Michelle Gauthier: They've got a really good chance of having a good week.
• 39:24
  Christina Langdon: That is a recipe for success.
• 39:26
  Christina Langdon: Take care.
• 39:26
  Michelle Gauthier: That's right.
• 39:27
  Michelle Gauthier: Do it.
• 39:28
  Michelle Gauthier: People do it.
• 39:29
  Michelle Gauthier: Alright.
• 39:30
  Michelle Gauthier: Okay.
• 39:30
  Michelle Gauthier: Well, thank you so much.
• 39:32
  Michelle Gauthier: Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast.
• 39:40
  Michelle Gauthier: If you wanna learn more about my work, head over to my website at michellegautheir.
• 39:45
  Michelle Gauthier: com.
• 39:46
  Michelle Gauthier: See you next week.