Latest / SisterSmart Leadership / 6: Stop Trying to Turn Your Career Weaknesses Into Strengths
Transcript
- 0:00Jill Avey: Many of the women who start my program can go on and
- 0:02on about what they're not good at and what they need to improve.
- 0:06The thing is when I ask them what they're good at, sometimes they're
- 0:09at a complete loss because it's just not even on their radar to
- 0:13be thinking about their strengths.
- 0:15If you've been struggling to build your confidence, this might be the reason.
- 0:18As women in the workplace, we are used to hearing a lot of critical
- 0:22feedback and much of it comes from inside our own heads, right?
- 0:26We might be getting some of this critical feedback from others in our organization
- 0:30because as women leaders, we don't tend to fit the traditional leadership
- 0:35models often in different organizations.
- 0:37What I'm here to tell you is that you don't have to fix your weaknesses.
- 0:41There's nothing wrong with having weaknesses.
- 0:43In fact, I think that we ought to celebrate them instead.
- 0:47At least own your weaknesses because nobody can be good at everything and
- 0:52everybody has weaknesses, and so that just tells you where to put your focus.
- 0:58So it's important to focus on what you're good at because you're going
- 1:02to get so much further by operating what I call your zone of brilliance.
- 1:06The stuff that you're really good at, where you shine, this is the
- 1:10best way to build your confidence.
- 1:11I'm Jill Lavy, a career success coach, and this is Sister Smart Leadership, the
- 1:17show that explores how women can rise from director to vice president and beyond
- 1:21by fully leaning into their feminine energy as their biggest advantage.
- 1:25Let's get you one step closer to the recognition and promotion you deserve.
- 1:30Jill Avey: So we're going to talk about strengths today, and I've got Sarah,
- 1:34our coach and sister smart with me.
- 1:37And we're going to talk a little bit about strengths.
- 1:40Go ahead, Sarah.
- 1:41Sara Spencer: Yeah.
- 1:41Thanks Jill.
- 1:42I think this is such a great topic because you're right.
- 1:45As women, we're not taught to focus on our strengths because we
- 1:49don't want it come off as bragging.
- 1:52Right?
- 1:52We, need to focus on what do we need to improve, because there's
- 1:55always going to be that, right?
- 1:58and you're right, we all, we are human.
- 2:00We're not going to be perfect in every single area.
- 2:03We've never really arrived, right?
- 2:06But to know what we are really great at is typically what we love to do.
- 2:13I like to use the Gallup Strength Finder along with values.
- 2:18And in the Sister Smart program, we look at that and then it's, what
- 2:21are those things that, that zone of brilliance, those things that you love
- 2:25to do, you know you're really good at.
- 2:28And you've gotten some feedback on that those are some of your areas of strengths.
- 2:32I think that's really important to focus on those areas because when we do
- 2:37that we can really show up and thrive.
- 2:40And when we're working from that space, I feel like we can
- 2:43have just so much more impact.
- 2:46People want to work with us and for us when we're, in that zone of brilliance.
- 2:51I just want to share this one client story that took the StrengthsFinder® also worked
- 2:57on her values and then used that in an interview for a global leadership role.
- 3:03And so when she was able to communicate from that space, like this is who I am.
- 3:09This is the work I've done, and this is why I love doing it, because this
- 3:13is how I show up in, in the world that hiring team was just like blown away.
- 3:18And they saw her as someone who is really in alignment with this position , and a
- 3:23leader that is very self-aware and knows what her strengths are, and is showing
- 3:29that like fortitude and strength that they were looking for in that role.
- 3:33And a lot of times we'll focus on the red.
- 3:35Where are things breaking down instead of.
- 3:38Let's focus on the green.
- 3:40So even if we take it to, , looking at our KPIs in the organization,
- 3:43we do focus on what's not working.
- 3:45And so it is a shift in our mindset.
- 3:47And I feel like the, the program that , we work in really focuses on that.
- 3:52let's highlight our strengths, right?
- 3:54Because that's really fun and we're going to have much more impact.
- 3:59So it's a really great topic.
- 4:01Jill Avey: Exactly, and I love that you're bringing up the StrengthsFinder 2.0.
- 4:04We're recommending that because it's something that anybody can go buy.
- 4:08You just buy the book and it gives you a code, and then you've got
- 4:11that book with you, or you can just do it on the Gallup website.
- 4:14And in the Sister Smart Program, we use what's called the Strengths profile.
- 4:18And I love that one even more because it, breaks down your
- 4:23strengths into four categories.
- 4:25It looks at your realized strengths, your unrealized strengths, your
- 4:30learned behaviors, and your weaknesses.
- 4:32And this is kind of cool because those top realized strengths are
- 4:39the things that you're known for.
- 4:41Like when you walk into a room, everybody knows that about you,
- 4:45that you're good at those things.
- 4:46You can just look at the top maybe quarter of the StrengthsFinder report
- 4:50and know that those are probably your, your realized strengths.
- 4:54And those ones are the ones that we just kind of want to rest
- 4:56in and, and have confidence in.
- 4:59And then the ones that are a little bit further down the list, those are the ones
- 5:03that where we probably have some more room to work and that we can focus on those.
- 5:08And so in strengths profile, they call those the unrealized strengths.
- 5:12And then you also have these learned behaviors that are sort of that middle
- 5:15ground of the things that you're good at.
- 5:17You had to learn how to be good at these things, and we like to keep
- 5:20you away from those strengths because those ones are usually taxing.
- 5:25They're tiring because you have to work at being good at those things.
- 5:28And then you've got your weaknesses at the bottom, which we're just trying to avoid.
- 5:32What if you can't avoid your weaknesses is a question that comes up.
- 5:36I do a lot of ADHD coaching as well, and, , we can't avoid being neurodiverse.
- 5:42So what I talk about is we create scaffolding around that thing
- 5:45so it doesn't hold you back.
- 5:46We would really like to just not do the things that involve our weaknesses.
- 5:51But for example, I had one client who had some weaknesses that were
- 5:55really critical leadership skills.
- 5:58She had a weakness in self-belief, feedback and narrator.
- 6:01And those are all things that you really need as a leader.
- 6:04she couldn't avoid these things if she wanted to lead at the higher level.
- 6:07So what we did is we worked out some frameworks that she could use to
- 6:11keep her self-belief high and give feedback that helped her relationships,
- 6:16not harmed her relationships.
- 6:17And then she worked on her storytelling skills so that she
- 6:21could improve those as well.
- 6:22She wasn't trying to become a storyteller at the Moth.
- 6:25You know, like she, she knew the fundamentals of storytelling and
- 6:29then she identified a partner in her company that was a great storyteller.
- 6:33I.
- 6:34That she could run her stories by and get some tips so that she was,
- 6:37knew she was at least doing kind of the minimum with her storytelling.
- 6:40It wasn't you know, it wasn't something that she was heavily
- 6:43leaning on, but she knew that her stories were, you know, helping her.
- 6:47So, and then this worked so well.
- 6:51She also she worked on giving feedback.
- 6:54In a way that was really helpful for her team.
- 6:58And so she learned how to use appreciative feedback.
- 7:01And this worked really well on her team of salespeople because some
- 7:05of them were 20 years or senior and they'd been in the territory
- 7:08for a long time and they'd had many managers and they were a little jaded.
- 7:13And you know, these were industry veterans that she was.
- 7:16That she was now leading and they made great gains in the, even the first nine
- 7:21months that she was in the job and she was, she knew that they were, set to
- 7:25be the best territory for the year.
- 7:27And so they were all really behind her and loved the feedback that she was giving
- 7:32them even though they've been doing this for a long time, because she was able
- 7:35to use a really good framework for that.
- 7:38So while that might not have been something that she would've come up on
- 7:40her own, she could rely on that framework and really use that to turn the team
- 7:45into a really high performing team.
- 7:47Sara Spencer: One way I used the strengths finder, everyone
- 7:50got their individual feedback.
- 7:52But then we looked at how are these strengths showing up for you.
- 7:56It's very broad.
- 7:57And so she was looking at how does this behavior show up in her day to day,
- 8:02and how can she highlight it even more?
- 8:06So how can she put more focus and energy in it so this becomes part of her brand.
- 8:11So we talked about taking it from a strength to a talent, to part of her
- 8:18brand, to something that she's known for.
- 8:21In order to do that, we also went back to her values.
- 8:24So we did some values work and aligned like her strengths with her core values.
- 8:30And then we explored how when we are in this space, that is that sweet spot that
- 8:36is our zone of brilliance when we can work in this space and feel our values
- 8:43being fulfilled in the work that we do.
- 8:47And so she added them to her resume and then she wrote out how they show up
- 8:52in her work and the projects that she worked on and the impact that she had.
- 8:58And the more she found out about this position during the interview process
- 9:03both the, the hiring team and herself were like, wow, this is really in
- 9:07alignment with, with my strength.
- 9:10So it just pushed her up for I think, being the ideal candidate.
- 9:14So this is just a recent experience with this client, how she used this tool.
- 9:20Because I think that's what she would focus in on more is like, where am I?
- 9:23Not where am I not performing?
- 9:26That was her initial tendency before partnering together.
- 9:31So it was a shift in her mindset.
- 9:34Even like, okay, so I'm going to focus in on my strengths versus
- 9:39what I, what I need to work on.
- 9:41Jill Avey: How did that change her job search When you're in a job search, it
- 9:45can be easy to focus on what you're not good at and what you don't have enough of.
- 9:49And then it makes people want to go out and take a class, you
- 9:52Sara Spencer: know, Right, right.
- 9:53And get a certification.
- 9:55Another certification.
- 9:58Right.
- 9:58So she was able to see herself in the position.
- 10:02she was feeling very stuck and this is what it is, and like
- 10:07making, making the best of it.
- 10:09And then by doing this work, she was able to see I can do this.
- 10:15I actually can make this leap.
- 10:19I actually can be in this role.
- 10:21It helped with just her mindset shift that to see that zone of brilliance
- 10:26and and really aligned the work that she's doing with something that's one
- 10:32of her values, one of her strengths.
- 10:33So I think it helped her to see the statement of work and the
- 10:38position in a different light.
- 10:40It took a little bit of time, but now she sees it as this is
- 10:43what I'm meant to do right now.
- 10:45And so to be able to take that mindset into an interview, like just
- 10:50showed a lot of, by focusing on her strengths, like how strong she is,
- 10:54and she does have the experience for
- 10:59Jill Avey: And think of how much more strongly you're going to present
- 11:03yourself as a candidate when you're coming in as here's my strengths versus,
- 11:07do you like me and am I good enough?
- 11:10You know, which, so, so often we feel like we're auditioning for something
- 11:13Sara Spencer: Right.
- 11:14Jill Avey: Versus, Hey, here's what I have is that you, you know what you need.
- 11:18And, and that's a different
- 11:20Sara Spencer: Yeah, it can, it creates a level, more of a level
- 11:23playing field because then it's a dialogue of what do you need?
- 11:27And this is who I am, and is there a fit?
- 11:31Jill Avey: I always recommend when people do the StrengthsFinder,
- 11:34there's a, less expensive, $20 version that's just your top 10 strengths.
- 11:38But I always recommend that you go for the full 34 because that gives you the real
- 11:42big scope of, what you're good at that top 10, but also these bottom ones and, and
- 11:48I really like to to just encourage people to avoid the stuff that we're not good at.
- 11:53Like we're so often beating ourselves up trying to be something that we're not.
- 11:58We're never going to be it, and you know, let's just embrace that and say, Hey,
- 12:05you know, I'm not a detailed person, so I'm not going to apply for, you
- 12:09know, a job that entails you like in accounting, you know, but that, that's
- 12:13going to be a lot of, intricate numbers and checking data and things like that.
- 12:18I am not going to perform well there.
- 12:20I'm not going to be happy there.
- 12:21And you know, you talked about that earlier, Sarah, of like.
- 12:24When we're working in our strengths, that it feels good to us.
- 12:28And so I think that really helps with burnout too.
- 12:31Sara Spencer: For sure, if we look at our energy, when we're able to
- 12:35work from that zone of brilliance, we are going to feel more alive.
- 12:39And I like to think of it as thriving in that role.
- 12:42Like we get up in the morning and we actually want to go to work.
- 12:46We want to be with our team.
- 12:48So those are some indicators.
- 12:49If you're feeling like exhausted, you're feeling like you're on the edge of
- 12:53burnout, then am I trying to develop myself in a space that isn't my strength?
- 12:59I am not detailed and I'm working in accounting.
- 13:01You may not be in a point in your career where you can make that shift,
- 13:06but are there other things that you can bring in to the role that are going
- 13:10to support you which are strengths.
- 13:12Jill Avey: That's an important point that you're bringing up is job crafting.
- 13:15Sara Spencer: Mm-hmm.
- 13:16Jill Avey: You can take a look at your strengths and say, okay, in this role
- 13:19that I'm in, you know, the company needs me to do this role and so.
- 13:22Some of it I'm going to be great at and some of it I'm not so great at.
- 13:26Are there other people that I could delegate that to?
- 13:28And if not, how can I get this done otherwise?
- 13:32Or what I always love is to use accountability partners.
- 13:36So that might be a buddy that I do something with or sometimes even just
- 13:41saying, Hey, You know, one of the things that like I struggle with in my own
- 13:45business is doing the bookkeeping because of this detail orientation problem.
- 13:49And so every month I have a buddy that I get together with for
- 13:53an hour, and we do the books.
- 13:54And so it gets, gets it done and it makes it fun.
- 13:58that's never going to be my role and that's Something that I could potentially
- 14:02delegate as well, but I've chosen to keep that because it's something
- 14:05that I want to stay in touch with.
- 14:07But yet that's what I call the scaffolding, is that partner,
- 14:10that, that will help me with that.
- 14:12And so I think it's really great to be able to co-work with people
- 14:16when we need accountability.
- 14:18It's a tool that I use a lot of.
- 14:20Sara Spencer: Yeah, that's a great practice.
- 14:22Jill Avey: Yeah.
- 14:23Are there any other ways that you recommend for people to be able
- 14:26to deal with their weaknesses without trying to change them?
- 14:29Sara Spencer: Especially if it's something that you need to do in your
- 14:32role and you know, it's a weakness I always recommend looking at like,
- 14:37how could you invest in yourself?
- 14:39typically we have some type of budget, right?
- 14:42So is there Any type of development that would be fun
- 14:46for you to develop in that area?
- 14:48So to kind of shift it from being like a weakness, something like I don't really
- 14:52feel good about, but is there any type of training or coaching or mentorship so
- 14:57that, that as you develop into that space, it could be a fun experience for you.
- 15:02Jill Avey: You know that that's a great way to look at that, Sarah, because just
- 15:06going back to my bookkeeping example, I found this method of bookkeeping that
- 15:11works really great for entrepreneurs that's not that detail oriented.
- 15:16And so that was something that I could go out and learn how to do.
- 15:20That really made this not such a weakness for me.
- 15:23It's still my weakness, like it's never going to be my strength.
- 15:26But it helped the whole situation drastically.
- 15:29That's for
- 15:30Sara Spencer: Yeah.
- 15:30And it sounds like there is some kind of activity ritual, like if
- 15:34you value relationships, you're doing it with someone, so, right.
- 15:38Thinking about your values and how can you bring that into maybe that activity,
- 15:44so it's a really creative solution to still stay close to that one activity that
- 15:49that's important to grow in your business.
- 15:52Jill Avey: I think it's also important that we own our
- 15:55weaknesses to other people.
- 15:57We can say like, Hey, that's not what I'm great at, but this is what I'm great
- 16:01at and this is what I want to focus on.
- 16:04These can be in discussions with your manager when you want to change
- 16:08your job description a little bit.
- 16:10These are ways that you can make your case of really owning, owning the weakness,
- 16:14but in tandem with owning that strength, I think is a really important thing of
- 16:19making sure that we're communicating both of those things out together.
- 16:22I also have found some clients really hesitant to own their strengths.
- 16:28Maybe they're coming from a place where they're really not feeling
- 16:30confident, and this is one of the first things we do in the program.
- 16:34so a lot of people come in with very low confidence and we build
- 16:37a lot of confidence in our program.
- 16:39And so I even have people make flashcards with their strengths and
- 16:43take a look at one strength every day.
- 16:47Really sit with it for a minute and soak it in and own that baby
- 16:52and know that, this is my brand.
- 16:54This is what I'm good at, this is what I'm about, and so that can be
- 16:58a really helpful practice as well.
- 17:00Sara Spencer: And I also love the practice of looking back over your
- 17:04work history and pulling out those successes and then digging in a little
- 17:09bit into those successes and go, okay, so what was the strength of mine that
- 17:14helped me make this large impact?
- 17:17And write it down, put it in your office somewhere so that when you're looking,
- 17:22you know, at the calendar or things.
- 17:24You can see that, and it's a really great reminder of who you are
- 17:27and, what you bring to the world.
- 17:29Jill Avey: That's fantastic.
- 17:30I love that one.
- 17:33Always good to do that reflection.
- 17:35Our three shifts for you that you can do right now are start
- 17:38focusing on your strengths today.
- 17:40probably there's some time in a day or a week that you're trying to fix
- 17:45a weakness and try to catch that.
- 17:46That's the first step is to catch yourself doing that and shift it.
- 17:51Shift the whole conversation around that.
- 17:53Don't fix that weakness.
- 17:54Find some scaffolding for it.
- 17:56Maybe learn a little bit around that skill so that it's not holding you back.
- 18:00Just, you know, embrace that weakness own that too and let it be yours.
- 18:05The second shift that we have for you is to get that Strengths Finder
- 18:08book and take that assessment.
- 18:10So find out, you know, what your makeup looks like.
- 18:12It's super enlightening to be able to do that.
- 18:15And then three, as Sarah was talking about start a Daily Wins journal.
- 18:20So, Write down three things every day that you did well.
- 18:24And this is a powerful thing.
- 18:25I love to have this at being a separate journal so that you have just one book
- 18:30that's about all the stuff that you did.
- 18:31Well, that's really fun to have.
- 18:33What is one strength that you have?
- 18:35What do you know right now that's a strength that you have?
- 18:37We would love to know in the comments, if you're watching this on YouTube.
- 18:41And we have the zone of brilliance exercise for you
- 18:44that's linked in the show notes.
- 18:45This exercise is going to support you in boiling down where your strengths lie,
- 18:50and it's going to help you improve your confidence and be able to communicate
- 18:53your viewpoints more effectively.
- 18:55So if you're a female leader who has the ambition to rise up the ladder so that
- 18:59you can have a greater impact on your world, subscribe on YouTube or wherever
- 19:04you listen to your favorite podcasts.
- 19:06We'll cover topics that women need to succeed in today's workplace, from
- 19:10executive presence to communication, and there's so much more to
- 19:14come if you come along with us.
- 19:16Thanks so much for joining us, and we'll see you in the next episode.
- 19:19If you're ready to fully lean into your feminine leadership and get promoted
- 19:23from director to vice president and beyond, hit that subscribe button so
- 19:27you'll get all the episodes to come and check out the recommended video here
- 19:31to see how women are rising up without playing by the old rules that built these
- 19:35male dominated industries and systems.