Latest / The You Project / #1698 Life Situation vs Life Experience - Joel Sardi

Transcript

#1698 Life Situation vs Life Experience - Joel Sardi · The You Project

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Oh, good ad, you bloody champions. Welcome to another installment
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: of you Know What with you know Who? Tiffany and
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Cook sitting over there like like she just got back
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: from some kind of outdoor adventure, which I think is
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: the case. Is that the case? That's the case? Cracking
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: still wearing your outdoor baseball cap? What's going on?
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Well? I thought we might have like the line across
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: my head if I take it off. Now we're all morning.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: Where'd you go?
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: I went to the thousand steps again, hanging out with
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: a bit of nature.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: And who do you go there with?
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: By myself?
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Wow? Yeah, look at you getting your bloody your nature
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: girl vibe going.
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: I should get my calf down in the mail this week,
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: I think, do.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: You take do you take the wonder dog?
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: No?
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: You know I had to take dogs there.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: Hmm.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: It's been sad. Well, well that's okay, just you and
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: you and God and nature. That's it. Whoever got whoever
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: your God is? Joel Sardi, Hi, good morning. Did you
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: go to the thousands? You go on thousand stairs this morning? Mate?
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: I The last time I went to a thousand steps
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: was probably more than ten years ago. Tip, So yeah,
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: I didn't do the thousand steps this morning. I've I've
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: done probably a few less steps than everybody here on
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: the call.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Probably not because you're lazy, just because you know,
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: these days, stepping is not really a forte let's be honest.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: No more of a more, more of a roller than
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: a step of these days. Yes, and it's not like, yeah,
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: not like the thousand steps are particularly wheelchair friendly.
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah no, last I checked, they weren't accessible.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, how are you?
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm really good. A lot of changed since we
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: spoke last. I think I saw you last in October?
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: Was it no, November?
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: No, we saw each other earlier this year. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: yeah that was that was not that long ago. But yeah,
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: but we didn't really get to check much because we
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: were at an event and we're all talking, Yeah, have
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: you joined a cult? Because your hair is very short?
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: You look like a Buddhist or some kind of you
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: know what's going on? And it's if you are a Buddhist,
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: well done? What's going on with the hair? Beautiful?
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: I was told by a four or three year old
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: daughter that it's probably time for a change because my
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: hair was as long as hers. And that was all
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: the advice or the feedback I needed, Harps and Tip.
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: So that day I went to the barber and he
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: shaved it.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: Off and look at you. I'll tell you what. You'll
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: never go back. I used to have long hair. But
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: my hair looks My hair looks fucking terrible long yours
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: look good. Mine looks like some kind of shrub, some
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: ugly shrub. Ergo the perpetual short hair. What's what's going on?
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: Like what you said, A lot's happened. What's happened?
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, since I met you guys, to you guys
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: last I was made redundant from my last job along
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: with the whole team. There was no performance indicati. It
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: was more so a finance repercussion and it sent me
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: on the path of unemployment with a mortgage and a
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: family to support. So it was a really stressful time
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: and one I've never been put in before. And just
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: the way the world works, Harps and if it's quite interesting.
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: I was approached by someone at the Department of Veteran
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: Affairs and asked for some input and they said, would
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: you like to join the team, And I said absolutely,
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: because I've wanted to work in veteran welfare and improving
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: the lives of people who have experienced adversity or hardship.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: It's funny, you know, at the time I needed at
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: most summer reached out and said come and join us.
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: So I'm now turning a bit months into a new
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: role with the Department of Veteran Affairs, working with veterans
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: and their families who are you could say, catastrophically injured
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: and affected. Yeah, and putting together there's some framework to
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: assist them.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: Wow, congratulations mate, that's amazing, Thank you. Well, tell us
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: a little bit about like, because obviously that's you know,
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: it's in the wheelhouse, but it's a different role, and
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: it's a different organization and it's working with a different
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: group of people. How do you how do you learn
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: how to do that job? Like, do they go, well, mate,
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: we're going to train you four weeks and then cut
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: your loose or how does it work?
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: Well, that's the interesting thing, Harps. I joined a team
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: when there wasn't really a job description for me, So
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: my left and right of arc hadn't really been defined,
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: and my job description wasn't there, So I really didn't
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: completely understand what my day to day looked like until
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: I sort of did my for lack of a better word,
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: apprenticeship in your public service, understanding who does what and
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: what teams have responsibility for what, and then understanding there
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: were some gaps in capability and sort of pitching that
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: to some of the people at the team. And that
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: was where they said, Yep, let's jumped out, let's jump
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: into that. And again, you know, I'm starting from scratch.
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: I've never been a project manage lead before, but here
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: i am. Yeah, I'm doing a lot of Courserra, a
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: lot of YouTube, a lot of LinkedIn.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: On the go.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: But the benefit I have Craig and Tiff is the
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: fact that I've been in the position where I'm going
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: to be working. I've been in the position where catastrophically injured,
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: where my family was affected, where we didn't know where
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: to turn to for help. So that lived experience is
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: critical and that's what I'll be leaning on. But the
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: major difference in what my role is now, it's quite
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: it's strategic as opposed to the operational role I've been
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: in with my previous jobs, so as opposed to seeing
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: the outcomes, I'm not sure if I'll see that yet
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: because I'm building the program.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that what you said about lived experience,
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: because I was thinking when someone comes knocking on the
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: metaphoric door to talk to someone and you're not coming
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: from a theoretical or an academic place or a you know,
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: of course you need knowledge and skills and know awareness
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: around what to do and strategy and tools and resources
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: and all of that. But at the same time, you know,
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: they meet you and they go, oh wow, you understand.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: You're like, you experientially understand, if not exactly what we're
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: going through, a version of what we're going through.
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I'll never understand what you're going
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: through Craig let alone the veterans who are going through families.
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: But the fact that I've got my injury and my
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: experience gives me a little bit of credibility. And for
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: those out there that aren't aware, you know, people love
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: to throw shade at DVA and so they're not doing
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: a good enough job. But I think a lot of
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: those people haven't really said, you know what, I'll put
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: my hand and I'll join the team and I'll try
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: and improve the processes. So that's something I want to do.
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: I am doing. I want to improve the rhetoric or
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: improve the narrative around DBA and injecting people who lived experience,
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: who have served into the department, I think is a
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: really good start without lowing own trumpet.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I think that every organization needs to
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: be you know, it's hard because it is an organization,
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: not an individual. But if there's such a thing as
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: organizational self awareness, I think all organizations need it, you know,
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: where we can say yeah, we do some things well,
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: some things we could do better. You know, we're not perfect.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: We're working stuff out and everything is you know, there
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: is no perfect system, there is no perfect model. Yeah
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: that's great, mate, that's great. So how does it work?
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: Do you like? Where are you right now? I can
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: see Dennis Rodman Jersey behind you. Are you at home
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: or at work? Or do you go? Do you work
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: or do you do it from home? What's the practical?
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: The beautiful part of the public service is the flexibility
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: and the hybrid environment that I've rolled into, not stepped into.
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: So it's two days in the office, which is in CBD,
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: and then three days from home. Yeah, and for someone
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: like myself with disability, who sometimes my morning routine could
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: take two and a half three hours. That flexually allows
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: me to work from home on days where I need to,
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: and then go into the office when I can.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: What's the what are the like in a perfect world?
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: Is that hybrid the best fit for you? Because I
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: would imagine going to work five days wouldn't be ideal,
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: but always being at home wouldn't be ideal.
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: Oh, it's ideal in that I can also maintain sessions
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: with my EP. So start early, So I start at seven,
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: finish around eight thirty nine o'clock, and then do a
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: full day of work and then go into the office
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: the next day to then build the networks to then
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: understand a little bit more about the going is on internally.
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: See I'm no different to people that have no that
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: I don't have disability. That's crucial for a work life balance.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: So when you say your EP some there's a percentage
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: of people right now going what's an OP. So you're
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: talking about your excise physiologist. I'm guessing, YEP. So how
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: long since your injury is it? Now?
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: It was ten years in August this year.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: I won't say happy birthday, that feels inappropriately. How does
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: your rehab? And I guess your exercise programming in general,
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: How does that work now? Is it just now more
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: where you've got to a point where trying to keep
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: it maintain it, or is there still is the goal
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: still improvement increased function? Like what's the focus?
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: Well, the focus for me now getting to the gym
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: and exercising recovery isn't getting back to what it used
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: to be in terms of before my injuries, just maintaining
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: a level of health and strength. Over the past the
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: past ten years, I've had a lot of learning about
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: what my body's capability is because of my spinal cord injury.
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: But my EP will work holistically on nutrition, on exercise,
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: on wellness outside of the gym as well, and that
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: would be three sessions a week, two hours a day.
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: And over the past ten years, my weights fluctuated from
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: ninety five kilos down to what started at ninety five,
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: and then we dropped down to sixty and then went
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: back up to ninety five and then back down to
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: sixty and understanding the body's limitations. And over the last
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: I think ten months, I've stopped drinking alcohol and I
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: haven't had a trip to hospital a bladder infection, and
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: my strength, my AP's notice has gone through the roof,
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: so Graig, you'd probably understand Tiff, and for the exercise
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: buffs bench press is a pretty good measure of strength.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: Then I started twelve kilos at the start of the year.
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: I'm now at thirty five kilos.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: That's amazing, mate, that's fucking wow. That's I mean, that's
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: one kilo away from triple you know, three hundred percent increase.
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and you know it's funny, there's no surprise. It's
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: consistency and nutrition.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: And that's booze is no good for you everyone, Sorry,
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: you heard it here first. Hey, let's just pause this
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: conversation momentarily, and just for the people who are meeting
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: you today for the first time, can you just remind
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: us what your injury is. Just it doesn't need to
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: be well as much or as little as you want. Yeah, yep.
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: So I've got a spinal cord injury at the C
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: five level, so I'm classed as a C five quadriplegic.
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: So you'll you'll see I've got use of my arms,
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: but not my fingers, not use of my tricep or
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: my core or basically anything below my chest. And that
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: was the result of a fall down some stairs ten
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: years go. So when Craig was referring to happy Birthday,
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: the thirty first of August is my wheel aniversary in diiversary,
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: whatever you want to say, And yeah, that's that's where
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: I'm at now.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: Cool, Hey, this day you had to mention on the
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: show tip and I did. Jim and I just did
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: a freestyle chat, as we do because planning is overrated
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: and we're both lazy. So other than that, other than that,
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: it's all gold. And we're talking about we're talking about gratitude,
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: and I was talking about my gratitude practices and you
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: know which, as I said yesterday, it can be it
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: can be a kind of a cheesy concept, I guess,
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: But tell us about you and gratitude, like I was.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: My three things, which I'll say just quickly again, is one,
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: every time I talk to my mom, I have overwhelming
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: gratitude because one day she won't be there, right, so
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: right now she's still here, I can talk to her.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: It's right. Every time I get up out of the
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: chair that I'm now in as I talk to you,
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: just the fact that I can stand is fucking amazing, right,
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: It's like, as you more than anyone knowing being able
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: to walk down my stairs and walk up my stairs, right,
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: I have this little gratitude practice, especially having spent time
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: with you and John, my friend who also got blown up.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: You know, it's just being able to walk upstairs is
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: a privilege, but we don't have that sense because we've
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: met most of us have never lost it, right. And
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: then my last one is just being able to turn
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: on tap. You know, I turn on a tap and
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: cold water comes out, and more than a quarter of
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: a million people in the world can't. Court of the
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: population I should say two point two billion people, not
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: only do they not have taps, they don't even have
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: any access to fresh, cold drinking water. Right, So the
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: amount of people who don't have a tap could be
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: half the population in the world. But you know, so
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: we're talking about these little like what brings me back?
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: Like what for me? Kind of grounds me and gives
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: me a healthy perspective that makes me realize sometimes I'm
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: a privileged, entitled fuck what about I am? You know,
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: I don't want to be. I don't mean to be,
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: you know, but sometimes, you know, sometimes some of the
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: shit that goes on in my mind, I go I
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: don't even fucking like me, And I am me, why
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: am I thinking like this? You know? You know, Huck,
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: So tell me about you. Do you find it? I'm
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: sure the answer is no. But tell us about you
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: and gratitude. How does that work? Now?
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: Look, when you said the word perspective, Cray, you could
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: have just finished everything you was saying there, because perspective
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: is literally what I live by, Because you know, I
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: may not be able to move ninety percent of my
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: body or control it, but you know, my mind is active,
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: it's healthy, functional. I've got two little girls. I've got
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: a wife who we've been married for six years this year.
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: So there's so much in my life that that is good.
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: You know, I've got a good job, I've got a
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: great family around me. I may not be able to
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: do things like you know, peace or shit or you
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: know all the other things that people do without, but
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: you know what, I woke up this morning. I've got
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: in the shower, my care, I got me dressed, and
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: I went to had a coffee with my oldest daughter.
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: I drove her down. Now, all of that doesn't happen
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: without being grateful for what I do have. And there
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: was a long time when I was injured, where I
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: was looking at everything that I couldn't do every day.
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: Why couldn't I? Why me? Were the questions, And it
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: took a moment of realization to change the narrative of
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: why me too? Why the fuck not me? Why can't
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: I happy? Why can't I be successful just because I'm
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: a quadriplegic, Because I've got friends in my life that
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: that won't be around for much longer because they've got
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: brain cancer.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: Right, Yes, there's the.
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: Word perspective for you.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: Yes, O.
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: My daughters don't know me as any different. They just
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: know me as dad, and they treat me no differently.
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: CREATI and Tiff and your prime example is our youngest
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: daughter Luna, who grabs a TV, runs away from me,
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: and hides behind the couch. She treats me no different,
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: She just tells me. So that is my gratitude, those
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: little moments. And I think everybody not I think everybody
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: in your life. You could look around and they've all
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: got some shit going on. Yeah, it's my injury and
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: it's not really a problem for me. I'll just I
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: want to use the biggest example we've got now, Elon
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: Musk Maybe Lebron James, all these massive names with so
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: much profile, money, success. I bet you they're going to
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: have their problems Monday through Friday or nine five. So
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: just because there's someone we see on TV or picture
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: anywhere externally in our lives doesn't mean that they've got
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: their shit squared away and their lives are better than ouns.
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: We've all had our own problems, so understanding that we've
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: got good things in our lives and having gratitude for
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: those is really important.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that. As you were talking, then I
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: wrote down. I wrote down on my ever present pad
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: that I have in front of me when I talk
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: to people. I wrote life situation versus life experience. Right,
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: So there's the situation that we're in, and then there's
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: the experience that we are having. And for the most part,
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: our experience is a byproduct of our thinking and our emotions.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: You know, like you are in a situation. I mean
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: this with respect, and I talk about not your family,
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: kid's job, but in terms of being in a wheelchair
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: and being C five quadity like you, you are in
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: a reality, a physiological reality that nobody wants. Nobody wants, right,
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: that's part of your life situation. But in the middle
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: of that thing that nobody wants, there's every chance that
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: you're happier than a lot of our listeners who don't
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: have that. Now, by the way, listeners, I love you.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: I'm not throwing you under the bus, but I'm just thinking,
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: like when we when we look at somebody's just practical reality,
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: their life situation, circumstance, environment, and then we look at
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: the experience, which is an internal thing, not an external thing,
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: but that internal experience in the middle of that practical,
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: observable reality. What's the link? What's the relationship? Either of
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: you two feel free to jump in, but what comes
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: to mind with that? Like when you think about some
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: people in great situations are having bad experiences and some
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: people in terrible situations are typically having much better experiences.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: You know, for me, there's a lot of that is
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: about our ability to consciously create our version of reality.
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: I think the link the link there is the perspective
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: perhaps over time we become numb to certain experiences or memories,
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: so therefore we forget what things used to be, and
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: we really don't compare it to what we used to have.
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: We just compare it to the now and I guess
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: that's the perspective part, you know, in terms of what
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: was it the internal experience versus the internal situation?
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: Well, I was just saying your life experience, like you
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: how you experience life now? You know all the internal stuff, feelings, thoughts, ideas, emotions, joy, pleasure, fun,
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: pain versus situation. And like you said, Lebron James and
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: Elon Musk, from the outside looking in, you would both say,
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: depending on the metrics that were used, they are wildly successful.
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: Therefore they're probably really fucking happy. Well, statistically they might
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: be less happy than the average person who knows.
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: I feel like like in Joel's situation, the idea of
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: it is what it is now. I talked about with
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: Captain Charlie Plumb when he was imprisoned for six years
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: in the Hanoi Hilton, and the fact that they didn't
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: come out with PTSD because it was the worst it
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: could possibly be and it stayed there. So this no
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: rise and fall of expectations, Like Joel isn't suffering from
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: a physical disease where he's deteriorating. In somebody who might
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: have a disease like that, like say maybe MS or
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: something where their function is declining, whereas Joel's at a baseline.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah. Have either of you read Man Search
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: for Meaning Victor Frankel.
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: A long time ago.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, so you'd love that, mate. It's about a
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: psychiatrist in the Second World War who was in prisoner
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: of war, a prisoner of war camp in Germany, a
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: Jewish psychiatrist, and essentially he was like, they can take everything,
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: but they can't take my mind, you know, and like
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: they can for me. The way that I read it,
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: which is just my interpretation, was very much they can
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: control my situation and my environment and my circumstance, but
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: they can't control me because I'm not my situation or
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: environment or circumstance. I'm not that. I'm something separate. I'm
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: not even my body, you know. And there's that beautiful like,
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: oh yeah, I'm not my body, I'm not my environment,
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: I'm not my bank balance, I'm not my wheelchair, I'm
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: not my situation. I'm not what other people fucking think
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: me and who I am at my core. No one
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: can take that doesn't matter what goes on around me.
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: It rings a bell and I do remember that was
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: his coping mechanism. Yes, have you finished your PhD at Harts?
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: Oh no, from on the way for a while. I'm
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: not the fastest, but it's only I say only, but
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: it's five years, so I would I don't know like
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: I think i'll be. I'm handing, so I've done without
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: boring my listeners again. But so all of the work
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: that I have to do in terms of running studies,
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: collecting data, doing my own research, all that is done
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: passing what's called all of my academic hurdle or requirements,
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: which is going in front of a board. You've got
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: to do that four times. That's been done and passed.
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: So now I'm at what's called the write up stage
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: where i'm writing up. So I'm writing what's called a
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: systematic literature review, which is about a fourteen month process.
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: So if you do a search on how long does
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: it take to write a systematic literature review for a PhD,
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: it says fourteen months full time. That's if you're doing
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: nothing else, right, So that's if it's your job. So
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: I've been working on that for about a year. And
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: I'm also writing to what's empirical papers, which are papers
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: off the research. So the research that I did on
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: metaaccuracy and metaperception. You know how other people see us.
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: So you do your research, you get the data, you
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: interpret the data, and then you write papers about that.
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: And you've got to add, Like in a PhD, you've
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: got to bring something new into the world in that
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: area of research. You can't do what's been done, So
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: you've got to build on the research. You've got to
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: add to someone else's research, or you've got to open
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: a new door and go, oh, look what's in here,
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: and so look at this. So yeah, to answer your question,
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: hopefully in six months, I'm done and dusted. But even then,
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: when you hand everything in, it's not like they go
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: thumbs up, well done and pad on the back. More
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: than likely i'll get stuff sent back where they say
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: you've got to fix this, change that, or address that.
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: So it's a bit of a too. But I'm on
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: the If it was the Melbourne Cup, which I do
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: not like, but would be in the last fucking furlong
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: or so, I would think, whatever a furlong is, Yeah.
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: Beats me for your doc.
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: Oh, when you can call me doc. Hopefully in about
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: six months, I would hope. So what else is going on?
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: How's the family? How old are the kids now?
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: So as may turns for tomorrow, she turns for tomorrow.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: How do you spell may.
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: Me with a little.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah? All right, what a cool cute where's the little
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: thing go above the last e?
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah? So from top right to bottom left?
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: What's the origin story of Esme? What? How did you?
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's a very cute name. That's enough. It
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: doesn't need to be a backstory. But is there a backstory?
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: The origin goes My wife said what do you think
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: of Esme? And I said, I love it? That's the origin?
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's good. That's all. That's all you need.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: So tell me about as you as you step into
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: this new role in your job and you're working alongside
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: other people, are you being mentored and coached or is
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: this largely you know, here's this space over here, Joel,
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: go figure it out. Yeah.
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: I'm definitely being mentored, and I'm really grateful for that
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: because the public service is so different to private sector.
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: Coming from the tech startup where everything was go go, go,
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: go go, it was a lot faster. However, where I
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: am now it's it's understanding. You know, this morning I
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: had to listen to Estimate Center estimates. I've never done
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: that before. I had no idea what was happening, but
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: there I was. So it's a really different landscape in
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: terms of impacts my immediate job as well. But yeah,
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: I've been mentored and guided and the first two and
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: a half months, I say, it's like the apprenticeship. I've
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: probably got a lot more to go on my apprenticeship
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: in the public service.
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's I feel like when you do the first
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: I don't know, month two, three ten, Like when I
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: opened my first business. I was twenty six, and the
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: idea of opening that business to the reality of what
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: I had to do when the business was opened, I
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: was completely unprepared, like I didn't have the skills because
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: I never had my own business. And then all of
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: a sudden, like I'm in meetings with lawyers, I'm in
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: meetings with marketing people, or with my accountant or with
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: and I'm having conversations that are just over my head
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: because I don't I don't know the answers for a start,
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: and then I don't have the language because I don't know,
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: especially when I'm talking to a lawyer. And even when
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: I remember when I went looking for my first premises
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: commercial premises to set up Astralia's first personal training studio.
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: And the guy said that I had no experience. I
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: didn't own a house or I owned I had no
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: real estate. I'd never done anything like that. And the
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: guy goes to me, what kind of lease are you
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: looking at? This is for the thing, and I go
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: what kind are there? And he goes what I go,
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: I don't know how to answer that question, Like I
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: just looked like a fucking idiot, but I thought I
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: can't make up an answer because I don't, you know.
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: And what he was saying was how long do you
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: want the lease to be? And do you want any options?
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: Like a three year lease with two three year options
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: do you want I didn't know that language. And he
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: also said to me, how many square feet are you
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: looking at? You know, like back then it was feet
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: not meters. And he goes how many square like what area?
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: How many square feet? And we're standing on Hampton Street
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: and I said, see that silver Corolla down there, and
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: he goes, yeah. I go from me to the silver
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: Corolla and across to that orange Cortina and back to
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: that fucking white Commodore, Like I literally just all I
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: knew was in my head what it looked like, but
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: I didn't translate that into some fucking formula or number.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: Like I knew what it looked like, but I couldn't
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: quantify it, because I mean, now I can, But then
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: I didn't know what two thousand square feet looked like.
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: And He's like, he must have thought, this is the
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: dumbest motherfucker I've ever spoken, you know, But that's where
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: you grow, right, That's where you grow.
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, outside the comfort zone. I'm doing a lot
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: of that at the moment, and imposter syndrome. I'm getting
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: a healthy dose of healthy dose of it. It wears
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: off a little bit further into the role, but you
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: know that those lessons you learn, like speaking to the
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: real estate agent, understanding what square feed are Yeah, I'm
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: getting little lessons like that every day, and I think
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: it's best for me to sit back and listen as
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: opposed to talking, which is what I was doing in
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: my last job, because I was quite confident and competent,
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: whereas I'm not saying I'm not competent here, but there's
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: not as much confidence as of yet.
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: But I think this is really relevant, this conversation because everybody,
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: Like a lot of us want to change something, Like
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: especially people who are listening to the show, they want
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: to change something in their life. They want to adapt
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: or do something different, or they do the same thing
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: a better way, or be more effective or more efficient,
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: or learn more or grow more. But like for you,
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: right now, you're probably going to go through more of
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: a growth spurt in inverted commas, intellectually, emotionally, sociologically, you know,
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: skill wise, more of a growth spurt in this six
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: months than the last six years. Maybe.
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'd say so. I absolutely agree, and I'm really
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: looking forward to it.
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And that's I mean, that's being willing to put
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: ourselves in that situation. I guess do you remember TIF
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: when you started your podcast? Right? Like, how many episodes
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: are you in now to yours? Are you about eight
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: hundred or something?
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: Eight fifty something?
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, But do you remember, like I remember jumping
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: on and I had a running start because I've already
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: done a few that were no good, and I've done radio,
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: so at least I was used to talking. But what
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: like when you look back now and you've done hundreds
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: of episodes with me, so you've probably done I mean
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: you must be heading towards one and a half thousand
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: episodes yourself all up? What did you thinking back now?
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: What didn't you know and what skills didn't you have?
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: And it doesn't need to be about podcasting everyone. We're
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: just talking about taking us something that we're good at
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: and getting good at it and developing it into a
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: real thing in the world that works. Like, what was
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: a challenge for you?
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: Well, I didn't know what I didn't know, but what
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: was What I've always talk about is naivety was the
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: gift for me. So because I didn't know what I
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: didn't know, I just got stuck into it and I
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: didn't get held back by any rules that might that
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: I might have perceived existed that I wasn't up to
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: scratch with. I remember calling you maybe three months in
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: and going, okay, so I've been doing this a bit
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: now and I want to get better, but I don't
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: know what that means. I don't know what it looks
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: like or feels like, and I don't know what I'm
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: asking to get better at. So you're the guru? Can
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: you make me better?
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: Definitely? I've been fucking masquerading as a guru. In fact,
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: I never masqueraded as a guru, but it is funny
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: when you know, it's like sometimes I'm about four days
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: ahead of someone else on the progression and they I'm like, mate,
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: but you know last Thursday I was you, I don't know.
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: I'm fucking making it up as I go. So that
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: imposter syndrome, Joel, and the kind of the feeling like
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: a fraud is that is that more apparent now than
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: it was in the last few years because you're in
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: this new space, And also how do you deal with
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: that because that's a scourge. I mean, everybody's got a
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: version of that.
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: Oh, it's absolutely more prevalent now than it was in
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: the past. Somebody told me once that all strangers know
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: something you don't, and it's always stuck with me. So
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: I just sit there and I think was as much
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: as I don't know what they know and they don't
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: know what I know, goes back to what you're saying, Tiff,
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: you know you don't know what you don't know. And
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: I'll sit there in a meeting and listen to people
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: speak about certain topics or certain projects are running, and
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: there'll be a brain brain snap, something will come out
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: and I'll think we should consider this, we should consider that.
• 33:04
  Speaker 3: But the other the voice in my head saying, no,
• 33:07
  Speaker 3: someone's already thought of that, someone's already spoken it. But
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: that naivety comes in TIF I'll put my hand up
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: and I'll make a comment and it's received well, and
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: there's a little bit of imposter syndrome wear enough with
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: each little risk I take. And I think in a
• 33:20
  Speaker 3: productive environment, people should be willing to and prepared to
• 33:23
  Speaker 3: make mistakes and say almost the wrong thing, but not
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: in terms of insulting others, because that in there, that
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: is where the growth happens, that's where we develop. I'm
• 33:33
  Speaker 3: not to someone say I haven't made some silly comments
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: in the past, or ask some silly questions or been
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: asked questions when I wasn't concentrating and thrown out an
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: absolutely ludicrous answer. But hey, there were again learnings.
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: I think that's one of the good things about having
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: somebody who isn't part of the program, who gets brought
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: in who like you, don't think like them. You don't
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: have their background, their program, their conditioning, and they're not
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: bad things that just you haven't been part of that.
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: And then you come into a different space and environment
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: with a different skill set and background, and maybe you'll
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: have an idea, maybe you'll see something they don't see.
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: Maybe you'll bring a different energy. Like I I met
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: a lady the other day in the cafe who I
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: don't know, she knows me, and she's she listens to
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: the show, and she was a sweetheart, and she's like,
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: you know what i'd love you to do? And I
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: went what she goes, I'd love you to coach someone
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: in real time on the show, And I'm like, all
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: of a sudden, I just thought of fifty things that
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: could go wrong with that, right, And I was kind
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: of that would be a challenge, right because you've got
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: to find that. But then later on I thought, like
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: the right person, the right way that could be, you know,
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: And then I thought, do you know what? I thought?
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: This was my ego and my fear and my insecurity.
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: I thought, what if I do a bad job? What if?
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: What if proper coaches listen? What if what if real
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: coaches listen and they go, why the fuck is why
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: did he do that? Why did he say? But then
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: you know that was my own bullshit. But have you pardon?
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: Have you found anybody to coach.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: No, I haven't put it out there yet, but it
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: would be I mean I think some people go, yeah,
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: pick me, pick me, but I don't think most people
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: would realize no, that is that is perhaps not the
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: prize you think it is. To be coached like that
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: seems like, oh, I'll get a bit of airtime, I'll
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: be on Craig show. No, no, that's not. It's not
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: a self promotion exercise. I actually genuinely want to open
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: the door and coach someone. And obviously it'd be pre recorded,
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: so if it ended up being a dog's breakfast, we'd
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: been it, so there's no you know. Or if the
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: person went fuck, I don't want that to go to air,
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: that would be okay. Or if I went, look, that's
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: probably not going to be great listening. Yeah, but just
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: as a concept, like as in terms of someone coming
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: into my space with a fresh idea, I thought, what
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: do you think of that idea? TIF I still don't
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: know if I've about.
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: It, and I think Joel might be raising his hand,
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: but I love it. I listened to shows where people
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: are doing either live therapy or coaching, and that the
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: benefit you get as a listener is astounding. Because you
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: have to borrow the stories of others and see similarities,
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: and there's something beautifully authentic about those sorts of honest, open,
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: real conversations.
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: I think one of the challenges for me I'm thinking
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: about it would be because whenever I like what I'm
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: doing right now, what we're doing right now, we're in
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: a conversation. But even though we're in a genuine, organic, unplanned,
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: unscripted conversation, I always have audience awareness, you know, so
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: I would want to do it where essentially I'm not
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: at all at all thinking about which that's a challenge
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: about the fact that thousands of people are going to
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: listen because I don't want to. I don't want how
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: I would normally be or coach or connect. I don't
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: want that to be influenced by my awareness that there's
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: a big audience. So that might be something I need
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: to figure out. But I don't know.
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: How does that come into play with your group coaching.
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: Do you have a number of people in the room witnessing.
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, interest I mean really that's that's a small group.
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: So it's it's for me, it's more, you know, it's
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: closer to one on one coaching. Than a podcast, which
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: is thousands of listeners. But yeah, I'm I'm as raw
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: and as open and as direct and as what's the
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: word impactful as they will let me be. Like, there
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: are people who on my in my current mentoring group
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: a very vulnerable and very like they've opened the door
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: wide right. There's a few people who who the door
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: is still shut and they're peeking through the keyhole. And
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: then there's a few. Then there's a few who have
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: opened the door about fucking three inches but they've got
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: the foot against the door, right, and all of that
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: is okay, that's no judgment either way. That's just. And
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: so you get people who like I even know and
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: I'm you know, next week is week ten, So I've
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: spent nine weeks with them. I've done one on a
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: one on one with most of them, and I'm well
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: aware of who even though I haven't met any of
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: these people face to face. Oh actually that's not true.
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: I've done a couple of face to face coachings, but
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: most of them I don't know them other than through
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: the program. But I know them now well enough to
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: know who I could ask a particular question that I
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: could not ask another member of the group, you know,
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: so I think there's and I mean, this just comes
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: back to you know, even even when we're talking before
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: about what's happening in our external world and our internal world,
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: and you know, you and I opened a pretty you
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: and I on our chat yesterday, like I got quite
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: vulnerable and and I didn't. But I've cried about four
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: times in the history of the show, and yesterday was
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: fucking very close to number five. Did you get that?
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: Did you know? I was a bit emotional? Yes, But
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: it's like I don't mind that. I don't mind that.
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: It's like if if where I just end up is
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: in tears and that's just organic, then I'm cool with it.
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: I don't like that to me, that doesn't that's not
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: an indictment on me. That's not a problem for me.
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: I just tried be aware of being whatever the best
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: version of me for the listeners is. But yeah, yeah,
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: so well mate, it's going to be interesting to chat
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: to you in a year to see what the progression
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: has been.
• 40:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, look, I'll be happy to chat to you
• 40:17
  Speaker 3: in a year from today.
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: Can I ask, just for the benefit of me and
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: maybe the listeners, what were you doing Before this job, Joel,
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: what was your role before?
• 40:27
  Speaker 3: I was an account manager at a tech startup called
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: the Field dot Jobs, and it was helping employers directly
• 40:33
  Speaker 3: target people with disability to employ them into their business
• 40:36
  Speaker 3: and for job seekers with disability to go on there
• 40:38
  Speaker 3: and apply for jobs on a website that was accessible
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: in terms of catering to their accessibility needs. And I
• 40:46
  Speaker 3: absolutely loved every moment of it. It was purposeful and
• 40:51
  Speaker 3: we could see the impact it was having. And then
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: moving on from that, there was a big, big transformation
• 40:56
  Speaker 3: moving from there to Department of Veteran Affairs.
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: How many weeks were you in limbo and what was
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: that like? What was that like? Dealing with the unknown?
• 41:07
  Speaker 3: Poor Craig. It was a daily challenge of I had done?
• 41:11
  Speaker 3: When did I have?
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: Written?
• 41:12
  Speaker 3: On my mirror? I think it was be present, Be present.
• 41:16
  Speaker 3: It was on my mirror. And it was six weeks
• 41:19
  Speaker 3: of unemployment until I found out I had a new job.
• 41:21
  Speaker 3: So every morning I'd wake up. But the beauty was
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: every day I get to hang out with the girls
• 41:25
  Speaker 3: every day. So there was one one moment where I
• 41:28
  Speaker 3: took as May on my own for the first time
• 41:32
  Speaker 3: in our relationship together to the city. We had a
• 41:35
  Speaker 3: day together of getting on the train and she had
• 41:38
  Speaker 3: chocolate for breakfast, we had ice cream for lunch, and
• 41:41
  Speaker 3: I just did whatever the fuck I could to spoil
• 41:44
  Speaker 3: her because it was the first chance I got with
• 41:47
  Speaker 3: her because I was unemployed. So all of those experiences
• 41:51
  Speaker 3: that I was having were because I was unemployed. So
• 41:53
  Speaker 3: I was really grateful to be unemployed at that stage.
• 41:57
  Speaker 3: It was you know, it was tense. It was hard
• 41:58
  Speaker 3: to be present. At the same time, was understanding that
• 42:01
  Speaker 3: I had to find a job. Yeah, it was a
• 42:04
  Speaker 3: bit of a roller coaster each day, but there was
• 42:07
  Speaker 3: I think better experiences than they were worse worse.
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: A part of me wants to tell you you're a
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: ship father, and part of me wants to tell you
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: you're the best dad ever.
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: I just want to know, next time you're going out
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: and doing that, can I come more dream.
• 42:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, my wife was with the ice cream breakfast and
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: the chocolate breakfast.
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: That's because she's an actual fucking grown up. That's well,
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: maybe maybe breakfast or lunch, but not both. Now, it's
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: a good thing you've got a job and you're out
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: of your wife's way because you and parenting. I'm not sure.
• 42:49
  Speaker 3: I got asked today, Dad, when are we going to
• 42:50
  Speaker 3: go back to the big city again?
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: No time soon. Mom won't let me. Maybe if you're twenty.
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: First diabetes is crept into her life suddenly.
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: That's hilarious. Do you know what? I think we're going
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: to wind up? But you know what, I and this
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: is completely unhelpful, unhelpful, this doesn't what about tell you
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: doesn't help you at all. But I reckon you should
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: study psychology. I reckon you'd be good at it. I
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: just think you have you know, I know that's completely impractical.
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: Maybe you could study part time. Do you ever think
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: about not necessarily psyched, but studying anything.
• 43:36
  Speaker 3: I've got a semester into psychological.
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: Science rest my case.
• 43:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I freaking loved it and I actually got really
• 43:45
  Speaker 3: good grades. And then I got offered a job to
• 43:47
  Speaker 3: be at the field and I put that on hold.
• 43:50
  Speaker 3: There you go, if I had the capacity, Craig, everyone's
• 43:53
  Speaker 3: got the same amount of time in the day that
• 43:54
  Speaker 3: I do. But if I had more capacity, I will
• 43:59
  Speaker 3: return to it.
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: You know what you need? You need a voluntary research assistant,
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: so we could get someone to help you with you
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: just the practical shit you can get those, you know,
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: it'd be good for you, good anyone.
• 44:12
  Speaker 3: Out there that would know how to support me there,
• 44:15
  Speaker 3: I'll start tomorrow.
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I just think that you, apart from the fact
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: that you know, you're smart and you have a curious
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: mind and you're fascinated with human behavior, I think because
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: of your lived experience, on top of the knowledge, on
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: top of the education and the training, you know, it
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: would be Yeah. I don't know. That's I don't know
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: why I think that, but that's and I probably shouldn't
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: have said that mid fucking podcast. I probably should have
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: told you that off there. It's probably totally inappropriate. But
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: there you go. Listeners, You're welcome.
• 44:46
  Speaker 3: You're on point, because you know I was half a halfway.
• 44:48
  Speaker 3: I was an eighth of the way there.
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: Greig, Well, we'll see what happens. If people want to
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: get you, Joel, Barry, Evan, Brian Sarti to come and
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: work with their organization and buy that. I mean, come
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: and have a chat with them, inspire them, educate, inform them.
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: Be at a corporate be at a sporting a club,
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: be at any other kind of organization. I've heard Joel
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: speak multiple times. He's very good and not just because
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: he's a bloke in a wheelchair and a bit inspiring.
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: He's very good. He's a very good presenter. So if
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: you want somebody like Joel to come and chat with
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: your group, hit him up and how do they do that?
• 45:32
  Speaker 3: Thank you so much, Craig Joelsarty dot com and the
• 45:34
  Speaker 3: details will be there.
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: Is that it. You're the worst fucking self promoter of
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: all time, Joel better at promoting I'm better at promoting
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: you than you are. Mate. We appreciate you, We love
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: your guards. Congrats on a new position. Onward and upward.
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: Have a good day mate. We'll say goodbye affair, of course,
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: but for now, thanks Ben on the if you've got
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: your pen up, do you want to say something?
• 45:59
  Speaker 2: Yes, if anyone wants to hear more about Joel Sadi's
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: story that they haven't already heard prior to today episode one
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: two five three titled when Life gives You a Shit Sandwich,
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: so you can hear more about his accident, recovery and
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: all of that.
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that was a good chat. That was a good chat.
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: Thank you, Tiff. That's why we have you see it.
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: Tam