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Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just - The Clarity of Purpose: Finding the True Why 6.24.26 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

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  Which is the beginning of the book.
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  We have the 1st chapter again. And like I said a few times,
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  this is something that people learn over and over and over
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  again. And the rabbi, his introduction
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  even says that a person is not meant to read learn this book
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  one time. He meant to learn it many times.
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  Because technically speaking, although he's giving us a book
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  and steps all the way up to the walk of Koders and follow the
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  steps, he is telling you that it's basics, everything in this
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  books. On the one hand, there's nothing
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  you learn in this step. And you say, wow, that's wild.
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  Instead of step by step, that makes sense, that makes sense,
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  that's clarity, that's hopeful, that's going to develop me.
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  And then over time and over the whole thing, you end up becoming
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  a different person. So he starts with a frame of
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  mind in a developing journey staff.
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  And that is what's my job in this world?
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  What's my purpose on this earth? Why am I here?
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  Who says there has to be a why? Well, God made the world and God
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  made you, and God put, you know, plotting to you.
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  There's got to be a why. And he's, you know, he's
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  definitely creating the whole world around you and he's
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  creating your whole world for your sake.
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  And so many things happened that are dependent and are based on
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  you. There has to be a why.
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  So once you know that there's a why, now you need to try to
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  figure out what is that why. First you need to trust, even
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  before this line, you need to trust that there is a why.
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  There's a reason in my existence.
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  You know, people, you know, you always say that sad line,
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  someone says, I don't know why I'm here.
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  I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what my purpose is.
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  That's a very sad statement. But it's not only, you know, as
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  as simple as it sounds like they just don't know their purpose.
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  It takes away their entire entire compass of life because
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  the main compass of life is you need to know the why.
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  You know that there is a why there was a purpose for me to be
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  here. I didn't even know what that
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  purpose is. I want you to know that purpose.
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  You focus, you zone in on it and you attack it.
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  Now you're saying to yourself, I don't know my purpose.
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  Who knows my purpose? So there's a general Jewish
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  purpose every person has. You saw that has to do it.
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  The shortage of the foundation of development and the root of
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  serving Hashemi the proper service who she but it it
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  requires clarity. You can't be any doubt about
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  this Viet Ahmed and it requires a person verifying, being really
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  confident. It's a lot of time, Marco Bato
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  Bolamo. You need to know your job, your
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  obligation, your purpose in this world, Ulama Zarif.
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  And therefore, where do you need to put your most emphasis?
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  Llama Zarif she has seen with Mabato, Where do you need to put
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  your focus, direct the outlook or Maga Mato.
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  Maga Mato and his ambition but Horseshoe a male Koi Mekhayev
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  all the a male. A male means new toil a male.
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  It's hard work. Your life is full of hard work,
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  right? Every one of our lives, whether
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  we like it or not and whether we think we are or not, there's
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  always some degree of hard work. It might be hard working
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  business, hard working family, hard work relationships, hard
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  work with all mental self doesn't make a difference.
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  There's something there that you're going to work fast.
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  And now there are, technically speaking, in your day.
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  There are many, many things that can require your toilet, your
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  hard work. And you need to know first what
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  your purpose is in this earth, in this world, and then you'll
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  know where do I focus? Where do I place my hard work?
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  Which means I can be spending a lot of time.
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  I say it's completely relevant. If I'm going to put my hard work
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  into everything, I'm going to call a rake, right?
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  If I put my hard work into every aspect of my life, I will not be
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  able to function. I need to choose which parts I
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  care about, which parts I don't, and the parts that I don't care
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  about are the parts that are completely irrelevant to my
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  purpose in this earth. So I have a lot of different
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  avenues I can spend time on, a lot of different things I could
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  be busy with right now. Most of us, we already got past
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  spending time on nonsense, spending time on, you know,
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  something that's completely relevant or focus on the
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  business, supporting our family, running our family, running our
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  marriage, raising our children. These are the basics.
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  That's because you already got passes.
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  But there are people who spend a lot of time on useless things.
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  I'll give you an example if there's a clear example.
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  Let's say someone comes up with a hobby and that hobby is, I
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  don't know, tennis, pick up or whatever it is.
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  OK, it's fun. I don't play tennis.
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  That's great. Let's say the person becomes a
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  little obsessed with tennis. They become very into it and
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  they decide that that's my thing.
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  That's also fine. You can be into tennis and have
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  you think you can have a hobby, but let's say now they go to the
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  gym and they spend time and they spend extra time on the court
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  and now they get very tense in the match.
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  They're very ambitious. They want to be the best in the
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  family. They want to be the best in the
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  in that crew. They want to be the best in the
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  community. All right, now what just
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  happened to happen is the guy took man's purpose.
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  I'm a loot. I shifted it.
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  There's something that's irrelevant, something that is
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  definitely not our wife. All right?
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  That's if someone wants to be. I don't know if they want to
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  have a nice house, that's great. They have a nice house,
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  beautiful. But then they got into it.
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  They got busy with it. All very normal.
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  I did it when I was building my house.
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  It's extremely normal. You want to do.
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  I was involved. I went to pick up my tiles.
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  I was more involved than my wife.
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  I care about the tiles. I care about the wallpaper.
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  I care right Yes, that's this is Sandy Hayward.
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  Hi, I did my flaw. I care about this stuff a little
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  bit right. But now what if the person gets
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  very involved and gets you know, very upset when he finds out
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  that they shifted to two inches also upsetting and he gets very
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  upset when the color is not perfect to his liking.
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  Also known and puts more focus and more interest and more time
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  and more effort and more discussion.
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  He's talking about all day long. It's talking about the outside
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  furniture. He's talking about this and that
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  another thing a lot. That's fine, and it's only
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  technically, but it's challenging because Yarmo.
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  You're giving up something. Else, yeah, you're definitely
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  taking away from your ability to function and you're taking the
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  ability to be a person, to have a peaceful time, to be a good
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  father, good husband, good worker.
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  It's all a good learner. It's all being taken away
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  because you shifted your arm off and why?
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  Because he didn't put enough time on his why, His why as to
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  why is on his earth. And this can be true when
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  someone is very busy. Like we set those two examples
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  and not many examples and those two obvious.
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  There are even examples within the good things, which means if
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  let's say I give you a rabbi example, Rabbi supposed to teach
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  and to develop and all that stuff.
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  If you get too busy with certain side rabbi aspects, all right,
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  then again, you know, you get busy with your popularity and
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  how many people and all that stuff, then you just ruined your
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  why. And once again you take your eye
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  off the ball and every person and you can take this as well
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  parenting, right? Take it to your children.
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  You're trying to raise good children, absolutely.
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  But let's say in your mind somewhere very normal, you want
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  your children to be not just good children, but children that
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  people, you know, you don't say this all right, No one ever say
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  this, but you feel good when people know that your children
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  are good children, right? Makes you feel good.
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  It's a normal thing. I'll give you an example, a very
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  real example, and that is that in my mind, I mentioned one of
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  the classes in my daughter's school.
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  I didn't know this life to the past.
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  My daughter is one of my daughters, the very of a student
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  and she was, you know, everything was always whether
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  it's now I'm not saying it's always the best thing, but she
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  was always very good in all the grades.
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  And so I assumed and she was going to get one of these
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  honors. She's assumed.
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  All right, It was in the book Lily in the bag.
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  It was in a question and the month before, I refuse.
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  Before graduation time, I had a conversation with my wife.
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  I'm like, you know, did you hear anything about the graduation or
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  anything? Like, yeah, any talk.
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  She's like nothing. She's like, why do you care why
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  you're asking me? I said, 'cause I'm curious.
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  I think, feel like, you know, our daughter should get
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  something and she's like, you want an honor?
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  I said, what do you mean? I got it and it's great.
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  I think it's a good thing 'cause I want see what's it going to
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  do. I say what I mean.
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  She sent eight years, no matter nine years working and she
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  deserved some reward for what she did.
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  And I was like, it's only going to be roblems.
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  I said, OK, really? She's like, there are three
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  cousins in the grave. There are a lot of 90 something
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  girls in the grave right there. We what happens when our
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  daughter gets up there? She needs a thing.
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  She's like, what do you need this for?
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  Do we need to tell her that we're proud of her?
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  Tell her they're proud of her? I don't know.
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  I said, you're telling me all that studying and all that work
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  and you don't want anything. And it lives going back and
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  forth, right? And the reality was turns out
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  that the class they didn't have, actually, they didn't do rewards
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  in school for whatever reason, baby, they probably realized the
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  problem, which is a strange thing because it's a funny
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  balance. And they said they did class
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  representative. My daughter had already been to
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  class representative, something bigger.
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  So she didn't get this fine. And it turns out it was the best
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  thing. It turns out the entire
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  conversation was for no, it was nothing.
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  But all along I'm realizing, hey, you're a little bit mixing
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  up the purpose of your child getting good grades where your
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  child is saying you're actually believing that a kid, what do
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  you really want? You want your daughter to stand
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  up down on stage and people would say, wow, that's the last
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  thing that you want. It should be less than you want,
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  But that's because we messed up or I messed up in my mind.
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  My why the why as a parent is that my kids are good kids and
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  we try for that and we try with that and we fail and then we
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  succeed and we ups and downs and all that.
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  That's a typical normal person. But that's when you know why you
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  here and why you doing what you doing.
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  So overall, every person needs to know why on this earth and in
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  each scenario, you need to know why you're doing that, why
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  you're married, why you have children, why you're raising
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  their children, why you making money, why you live where you
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  live and why you pray to Hashem. Why you learn what you do
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  because I said and once you focus on the wise, you will not
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  lose and be caught up in all the distractions that life throws
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  our way. You name the topic, it could be
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  the most pure topic of life. If you mess up on the why, you
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  can become very, very destructive.
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  It could be hesing nothing more beautiful than hesing.
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  If a person does not know why he's doing hesed, there are
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  major politics that can happen to hesed.
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  It could be learning to the nothing more beautiful than
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  learning to the person does not realize why the learning to the
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  they will eventually fall out and not be dedicated can be
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  praying same thing. It could be raising children.
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  I'll give you the example you name the topic you need to know
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  clarity clear as day the beginning of this book that's
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  the head of the chapter. Oh claw Hovato Olambo a lot more
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  having clarity on to your purpose in this world.
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  Now are we one more Parker for this idea where the clarity is
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  So why does. Society take all this good that
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  the people want to do something as simple as your daughter's
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  situation Yes, which would turn her into a a cavoid magnet
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  because now she finishes school. Oh, I'm not getting attention
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  for I did this. I baked cookies for the
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  homeless. I did right.
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  And and then you go to the whole, I said adult world and
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  week by week we put on these ensembles that, yeah, you know,
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  if a guy walks in and doesn't get that, you know, item.
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  Feels bad. Yeah, yeah.
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  So really it's because it's because we have a reality which
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  is, and the reality is very far from the truth, OK?
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  The reality we have to deal with, and you have to have to
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  know this in life, is that people need respect, people need
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  to cover, people need to be treated like things.
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  And once we play into that, because it's very effective,
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  then what is happening is he creates an animal and that
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  animal is, is that the guy who did not get respect feels bad.
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  Now they both need respect. Now you pump it up.
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  And now more respect means more donations and it means more pump
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  and it gives the, the organization more fuel and more
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  volunteers and more and more power with the next year.
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  And really as it becoming a vicious cycle.
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  And I don't think there's a way in my simple mind to be able to
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  figure out a, a way around this. I can't think of 1, but it would
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  be a great world if you could. Have you had a world where the
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  secret Society of Hesed was as popular as the public side of
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  Hesed and the guy who gives money privately is as well
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  known, is not as well known, is as well a pre, can't be well
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  known but as well appreciated, or is you know, as good a guy?
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  He has to be giving the same. Amount and he's giving the same
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  amount also by the way we have. A lot of people like.
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  That we do, but it's always a challenge.
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  And you know what it takes people who have a special
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  upbringing, who do not like the limelight, now that they
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  actually hate the limelight. It takes people who are raised
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  on the idea that the limelight is a bad thing for you.
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  It's actually going to cost you. It takes a whole different head.
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  And you know what also happens? People start off like that and
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  then they can fall out. Nobody knows because they were
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  never public. So you have to be at what keeps
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  you on in check is the public talk.
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  It does not also create the animal.
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  So you have to figure out a way. It's a very delicate.
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  Motivation on that you need you do it yourself and you don't
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  want anyone knowing about it and you're proud of yourself.
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  How many people have self motivation and they fall out?
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  There's many areas. You're motivated and you fall
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  out. Everyone has burnout.
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  We all have burnout. Different areas all right.
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  Now you have to be passed to burnout.
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  You'd be so self motivated. So now you're running into a
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  situation like this. If I go down the public world,
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  I'm creating potentially a character, Gava talk, jealousy,
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  all those I'm creating all that. If I go down the private world,
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  I'm creating limited motivation, lack of funds, lack of drive.
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  All right, what do I choose? And that's what everyone always
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  chooses, right? They bite the bullet and they go
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  public. I understand their mind, their
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  mindset, because otherwise they won't get things done.
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  What a person in the own family wants to do is to figure out how
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  you can create, you know, yourself and your children with
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  the belief and the balance. You can't be a sketch and think,
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  I think they're going to be completely low key.
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  It's not going to happen. It won't be the motivation.
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  And I know some people who started that way and then they
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  fell out. The balance is that we don't
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  care for the talk. It doesn't feel our flame.
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  It doesn't make us feel good. Yes, it's there as we will talk,
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  as we will know our name. We don't care for it.
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  And whatever we do that's impressive, we still rather
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  people don't talk about whether that means having good children,
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  that means being a good guy, that means being a generous
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  person. You name the topic.
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  A lot of people OK, like. Don't talk about me, but then
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  you're going to talk about. That guy that's yeah, that's a
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  real thing. You know what those who live
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  without setting, they would have been better off throwing.
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  Why nobody, right? If you have a no credit society,
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  that's great. But it's very hard to because
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  there are some people that need it.
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  And because those people need it, if you don't give a damn,
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  they will not exist. They will not be able to help
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  and it's just the way it. Is.
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  What does that mean? How many sermon people?
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  It's like, so then we're feeding in yeah, to this item.
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  We are. So then the guy who doesn't have
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  that issue doesn't need it now he's likes it, so now this thing
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  becomes infectious. OK, you can't find perfection in
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  this area. The most you can do is start
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  from yourself and say the own self in your own family.
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  We are really here for a purpose.
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  We had to survive him. We're lucky enough to have the
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  money to give to other people. We're looking up to have the,
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  you know, the wisdom, the the job, the position to be here.
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  We are, we're blessed. It's all a miracle.
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  And because of that, we're just going to continue with that
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  mindset. The moment the person loses
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  track of that, they run into trouble, as we're saying, and
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  the moment the person holds on to that mindset and they do the
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  right thing, they do more of the right thing.
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  So this is literally you have to know the why in every area of
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  life. You need to another why and you
• 16:32
  can be so distracted as to where your why is because the way the
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  world is, is the world's the opposite of the real truth.
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  The world you live in and the truth of the Torah are polar
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  opposite. They're not just a little bit
• 16:45
  off, they're complete opposite the way the world works in the
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  world. The structure on GABA on being a
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  big deal. I'm being spoken about, I'm
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  being well known. I'm feeling good about yourself.
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  I mean, I'll just give you an example.
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  There's no negative anyone. I was I had to walk around deal
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  the special about first seven and I walked and I cannot
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  believe how beautiful this town is.
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  It's beyond, it's beyond, it's beyond.
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  It's crazy, but everything looks.
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  The movies cannot even depict this.
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  You can't find me a movie any give me the best director of all
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  time. He cannot depict the scene.
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  It's perfection. You have the people sitting on
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  the porch, perfect grass, perfect flowers, perfect porch,
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  perfect this that had taken the perfect walk that playing the
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  perfect game and everything they dress it's it's completely
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  perfect. And you and I know take life by
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  life. You don't know a single family
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  that has it even close to perfect, right?
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  I don't know what I don't think you know it.
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  It's not a single family that has it close to perfect.
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  So what's happening? How does that make sense?
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  The vision is perfection, the reality is anything but.
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  What's up shot. The shot is that God's world was
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  made in a way that the way you see is a complete sketch.
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  Not that these families don't have beautiful homes and now
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  they don't have great families, but they all have to deal with
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  the realities of life which you all have to face.
• 18:10
  Something's going on somewhere, someone's not behaving the
• 18:13
  grace. Is great on the other side, all
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  right. All right, some are not
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  behaving, some are not doing well, some, some part of the
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  business is falling apart. Something's happening, All
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  right, everyone has it. So what am I seeing?
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  The answer is I shouldn't create the world in a way that is a
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  fake vision and a very different reality.
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  And the more a person is understanding of that, the more
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  they'll be dedicated to the true way of life.
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  But the less they realize that, the more they want they don't
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  want to live that, the more they're going to want to build
• 18:41
  that, the more they're going to be seen that way because they
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  think that's the real reality where it's not.
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  And our overall concept of life has to be We know the truth, we
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  recognize the truth, and we're going to live life toward that
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  real truth, not toward that fake vision of what the truth might
• 18:58
  look like. What was that?
• 18:59
  What ages of writtens? For his.
• 19:01
  Book you're a different ages, we're a different maturity like.
• 19:05
  Well, kids should honest too. The earlier a kid finds his
• 19:08
  house, the less they have to get fooled and then get taken back.
• 19:13
  How many knew this as a teenager, right?
• 19:15
  Do you have to notice young early on how many you know?
• 19:19
  Kids actually believe when they, you know, they yell at their
• 19:22
  parents because they they're not giving them enough or they're
• 19:25
  not making enough, which sounds such a sick the same thing to
• 19:27
  say, but it's out there because they actually believe that it's
• 19:30
  normal to make a lot of money, right?
• 19:32
  And I think that it's normal to ride certain bikes, to have
• 19:35
  certain cars. Anything is expected.
• 19:37
  That's the norm. Where'd that come from?
• 19:39
  Zero understanding of the reality.
• 19:41
  If they knew what it takes to make a sale and they knew what
• 19:44
  it takes to bring in money and they knew it takes all the
• 19:47
  different things at the face, they would never talk that way.
• 19:50
  That's because they came fake first instead of reality first.
• 19:54
  Yeah. It should be taught to children,
• 19:56
  should be taught to adults, seniors, you name it.
• 19:59
  The mindset of knowing your why in this world is something that
• 20:02
  can get you out of so much trouble and something that can
• 20:05
  get your mind so clear and bring you to such a beautiful place
• 20:10
  where you're functioning, only doing what's right and only
• 20:13
  doing what's good and never being distracted.
• 20:16
  But with the world which tries so hard to pull you down, never
• 20:20
  getting distracted by that. That's the idea.
• 20:22
  What's up with this?