Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / What's your greatest weapon your healing journey from narcissistic abuse

Transcript

What's your greatest weapon your healing journey from narcissistic abuse · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful folks?
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  Today we're going to be talking about one of the greatest
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  weapons, your greatest tool to help you heal from narcissistic
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  abuse or a toxic relationship overall.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a self aware narcissist and welcome to another episode of
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  The Narcissist Code. So boom, welcome back folks,
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  welcome back, welcome back. Yes, your greatest tool, your
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  greatest weapon in healing from narcissistic abuse, One of your
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  greatest tool. I didn't say it's the greatest
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  tool, but it's one of your greatest tools because I know
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  everybody knows that no contact is going to be the part of the
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  best, the most effective way to heal from narcissistic abuse,
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  right? That's a tool.
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  No contact. It's a tool you can put in your
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  bag, right? But the next biggest tool
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  without I feel like this is my personal perspective right here.
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  Y'all, your next biggest tool to help you heal for narcissistic
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  abuse is I'll notice. I was hoping this did you.
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  It's a pen or pencil or writing instrument, y'all writing and
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  writing instrument. Like something to write with
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  because writing things down helps you heal from a toxic
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  narcissistic person. Yeah, it just, it just does.
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  It's one of those things. Writing things down can
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  absolutely help you move forward and helping you heal from
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  narcissistic abuse. Like my throat a little scratchy
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  out. So bear with me in my support
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  group. In my support group, right.
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  I run a support group called the Mental Healers.
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  You have to find everything about my support groups, my
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  coach and everything at mentalillness.net.
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  But in my support group, right, there's a lady to join the
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  support group yesterday and she was writing.
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  She say, I just don't know what I need to do to get over my ex.
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  So I'm so worried about him treating the new supply better.
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  Even though I'm I, I know his exes, I met his exes or whatever
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  and they all we all have the same story about him being
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  abusive. He been alive, he been a
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  cheater, just like 3 or 4, three or four of them.
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  And she's worried about him treating a new person better.
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  She's worried about was she not enough?
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  What, why does she do to get, what does she do to get treated
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  the way that she got treated? Even though she can see that his
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  patterns have been the same throughout his relationships
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  because she talked to his exes, she's still struggling with it.
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  And I told her, what's your, what's your journal?
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  I asked her, what's your journal look like?
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  She's like, what do you mean? I said, what does your journal
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  look like? You need to because getting you
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  have to get clear. This right here can help you get
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  clear own narcissistic people. One of these, this is a pen
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  right here, one of these two things right here.
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  Well, both of them can help you get clear.
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  You have to get clear like these can help you write down the
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  truth. Writing things down makes it
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  real. You know what I think people
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  like? Like literature is such a unique
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  form of communication literature.
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  People write books all the time. Books change people's lives.
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  You need to write your own book. I'm not telling you to write a
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  book, your autobiography or anything like that, but you need
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  to write your your relationship story.
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  Write down who this person really is, not who you think
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  they are, not who you want them to be, not who they were in the
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  beginning. I mean, they can help you out a
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  little bit because you can see the transition from who they
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  were in the beginning to see how fake they were now, who you
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  thought they were in the beginning, who they actually
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  were, who they actually are right now, and what they're
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  actually doing right now. Write this stuff down makes it
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  right, y'all. Writing it down makes it so damn
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  real. It really does like, and I had
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  to tell that girl this morning, the woman, she's a woman.
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  I had to tell her this morning that like I, I will forewarn
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  you, writing things down, writing things down, writing
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  stuff down is such a powerful thing to help you heal.
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  But it's not going to be tough. Let's be real.
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  I think so many people when they tell you the journal just makes
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  sense. Hey, just journal, write it
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  down. They don't tell you what you're
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  going to be, what you're going to be facing, why you're writing
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  this stuff down. They just tell you to write
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  stuff down. They don't tell you.
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  They don't tell you what you're going to face, what you're going
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  to, the struggles of writing stuff down or you.
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  They don't. Many people don't tell you that,
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  right? They don't say this, they don't
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  say that. You know what I mean?
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  They really don't. They don't tell you what the
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  hell is going on. They just say this right here.
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  They just say you write it down. They don't tell you to write it
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  down. It's going to be tough as hell
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  because writing it down could re trigger you.
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  Writing this stuff down, writing down what you went through,
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  writing out what you experienced could be a triggering could be
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  could it could trigger you. You might start writing stuff
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  down and then you get triggered again.
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  You might start writing stuff down and you have you something
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  like like writing stuff down unlocks memories that you might
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  have forgot about. Like, yeah, the human mind is
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  amazing at at protecting you is going to bury memories now to
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  help you heal that to to protect you for certain things, right.
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  Repressed trauma, repressed memories, you'll be writing
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  stuff down and you can remember something that you forgot.
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  You like, wait, wait, I forgot that happened.
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  Oh my God, I can't believe I I can't believe this happened.
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  I can't believe I let this. I can't believe I let that go.
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  I can't believe I forgot that. I can't believe I forgave that.
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  I can't believe I missed that red flag.
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  Writing this stuff down is going to make you yo, you're going to
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  go through a battery of emotions.
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  You're going to you're going to write stuff down.
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  You're going to get angry, you'll be mad as hell sometimes
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  you're going to make me happy. You'll be laughing.
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  Writing stuff down is going to help you heal in loud.
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  I'm going to tell you this right here.
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  Don't focus on writing down the good stuff because that's what I
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  think so many people get caught up on.
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  That right there. You get caught up on like trying
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  to be fair to them in your journal.
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  Like y'all, you don't have to be fair to them in your journal.
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  You're writing down what your experiences are.
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  Well, don't write down this person abused the hell out of
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  me, lied to me, cheated on me, didn't didn't follow what up
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  with? Well, they had a bad childhood,
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  so it makes sense. No, don't do that.
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  You don't have to be fair to them in your journal.
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  You're trying to heal. Your healing does not require
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  you to be nice to them. Well, your healing does not
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  require you to be nice to them. I will say that again.
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  You can heal. You can go.
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  You can move forward. You does.
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  That is the requirement for that is not niceness.
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  Well, I got to be nice to them. No, the hell you don't.
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  Why do you got to be nice to them?
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  Were they nice to you? Well, lead in the beginning.
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  Yeah, in the beginning. But what about right now?
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  I need to know right now. Were they nice to you in the
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  beginning? Are they nice to you right now?
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  They want to say writing down the beginning to show you how
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  they how they changed and how they morphed.
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  It could help you out. I just want you to write down
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  the beginning and focus on the good stuff.
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  I want you to write down the stuff in the beginning and focus
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  on the love bombing because you said the love bombing.
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  You start writing stuff down. You like love bombing.
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  I remember the first night we met and I don't know, I don't
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  normally do this, but we clap cheeks.
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  No, snap out of it. I'm about to snap at the camera,
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  my mic on my chest. Snap out of it right now.
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  You have to snap. You have to snap out of it right
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  now. I know those memories make you
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  feel good, but you have to snap out of it in order to heal.
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  Like writing this type of stuff down is a yeah.
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  Writing stuff down is a powerful instrument.
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  It make it makes it real. And writing stuff down allows
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  you to go back and look at what happened, look at what you
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  experienced, look at what you went through.
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  Like whenever you get ready, just like going no contact is
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  good, right? But sometimes you need a little
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  assistance in going no contact. Like you need a little
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  assistance, you need a little pop in the right direction.
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  So writing this stuff down could absolutely like, so writing that
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  type of stuff down absolutely go does that type of stuff right
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  there. Like writing stuff down allows
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  you to look back at what you went through.
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  It allows you to just realize who this person is.
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  When you want to break no contact, when your hand is
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  shaking, you're like, I don't want to break.
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  No, I got to text them. I'm hurting so bad.
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  They didn't text them. No, you right.
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  You pull that journal out from the stuff that you wrote down,
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  the stuff that you went through, and you remind yourself why
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  you're no contact. You remind yourself why you, I
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  said you remind yourself why you're you're, you're healing
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  right now. You have to remind yourself.
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  Sometimes it helps you to get those reminders.
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  You mean it helps with those reminders?
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  It really, really does. Like those reminders are so
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  helpful when you need them. They absolutely are.
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  It it just, it absolutely is. It's those, it's those things
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  that it's the little things, y'all to help you move forward.
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  There's a little things that help you that help you that
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  compromising on your heel. You don't want to compromise and
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  reach out to them. Reaching out to them does not
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  help you heal. Let's keep it high.
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  Let's keep it high and ready. Reaching out to them, contacting
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  them does not help you heal in any way.
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  It is like it can help you just get sucked back in there and had
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  to start your healing process over.
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  So that's why I'm just saying like, take these steps, take
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  these steps back, right? Empower yourself on this journey
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  and write this type of stuff down.
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  And Willie, I'm, I'm just a bad writer.
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  I'm not used to writing anything.
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  I'm not used to writing stuff down.
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  You got to get better at it right now.
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  Why you're not with them Journal every single you might need to
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  do it every single night. You might need to refresh your
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  course every single night right before you go to bed.
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  You might need to brain dump right before you go to bed at
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  night and whatnot right. And if you have a trouble, I'll
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  say this right here. I ain't going to hold y'all too
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  long. If you're having trouble writing
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  stuff down, if it's tough writing stuff down, this could
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  be this could help you breakthrough as well.
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  This if you have an iPhone. I don't, I don't know how Droids
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  were. I had a Droid for so long, but I
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  have iPhones now. But like you can have a you can
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  do a video diary. If you have trouble writing
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  stuff now you can video diary your experiences.
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  You can talk to yourself, like my TikTok, my YouTube, my stuff,
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  those these, these are video Diaries.
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  My TikTok account started out my TikTok account started off as a
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  video diary of me just video diary and as me just putting a
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  diary out there for what I what I was experiencing, what I was
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  going through. That's what my TikTok was right,
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  so you can video diary. You can hit this button.
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  You can record like you can record whatever you're going
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  through right? You can record it and talk to
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  yourself. You don't have to post it
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  online. You don't have to be a public
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  try to be a public figure with it.
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  You can record talking to yourself.
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  You can cry on the camera. You can do whatever you need to
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  do. If you're feeling sad, if you're
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  crying and you're hurting record those moments.
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  Y'all put it in a put it in a folder, put it in like an album
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  in your phone. You can create an album on your
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  phone saying, oh, this, this day I was experiencing some pain.
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  This day I was hurting, this day I was I felt this way like you
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  can video diary as well and they can help you breakthrough some
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  of these plateaus that you might be experiencing on your healing
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  journey, right? If you want to, when you hit
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  those plateaus, they get those plateaus can suck.
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  Those plateaus make you feel like you're not healing, like
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  you're not moving fast enough. You're plateauing on your
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  healing journey can make you feel like you're stuck right
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  where you are. And that sucks, y'all, that that
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  can make you feel like healing is pointless, like I'm still
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  hurting. I'm actually, I haven't got any
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  better. Like, what the hell is the point
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  of this? These can help you breakthrough.
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  You can do a combination of it. You can do video Diaries and you
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  can write stuff down. Whatever you feel in the mood
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  for. Just do something.
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  Yeah, just do something. But anyway, y'all, like I said,
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  I told you I wasn't gonna hold y'all too long.
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  Make sure you say check out joining the support group, the
• 11:36
  Mental Healers. You can find everything about me
• 11:38
  at mentalillness.net, like and subscribe.
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  And it's always y'all mental illness.
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  Is that peace? Thank you so much for making it
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  to the end of my video. I am extremely grateful for you.
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  Have no idea? If you haven't already, make
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  sure you go ahead and subscribe to the channel.
• 11:50
  Help us reach more people and click on the screen to watch
• 11:52
  another video or to browse through another playlist.
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  There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
• 11:57
  and my support groups. To help you.
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  Heal and understand what you've been through.
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  Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
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  video. Peace.