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08 - The Success Machine · Classic Sci-Fi Tales Audio Library

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: The Success Machine by Henry Slesser. This is a LibriVox recording.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. Read
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: by Troy Bond. The Success Machine by Henry Slesser. The
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: PERSONNELOVAC winked, chittered, chortled, chuckled, and burped a card into
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: the slot. Callahan picked it up and closed his eyes
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: in prayer. Oh Lord, let this one be all right.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: He read the card. It was pink. Subject thirty four
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: five eighty Aptitude reading three four five seven seven, Psychological
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: class forty five last personal VAC analysis three five nine
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: eight rating nineteen current rating fourteen analysis. Subject demonstrates decreased
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: mechanical coordination, decrease in work energy per man hour, marked,
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: increased in waste motion and due to subjects interest in
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: non essential activities such as horse racing, indication of hostility
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: towards superiors, recommendation fire him. Callahan's legs went weak. He
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: sat down and placed the card in front of him,
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: then making sure he was unobserved. He broke a company
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: rule and began to think something's wrong. He thought something
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: is terribly wrong. Twenty four pink cards in the last month,
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: twenty four out of forty. That's a batting average of
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: He tried to figure it out with a pencil, but
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: gave it up as a bad job. Maybe I'll run
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: it through the average OVAC, he thought, But why bother.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: It's obvious that it's high. There's obviously something wrong. The
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: intercom beeped ten o'clock. Department head meeting, mister Callahan. All right,
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: miss Blanche. He rose from his chair and took the
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: pink card with him. He stood before the action shoot
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: for a moment, tapping the card against his teeth. Then
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: his back stiffened with a sense of duty, and he
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: slipped the card inside. The meeting had already begun when
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: Klahan took his appointed place. Grimswitch, the material OVAC operator,
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: looked at him quizzically. Damn your eyes, Grimswitch, he thought,
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: is no crime to be three minutes late, Nothing but
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: a lot of PEP talk first five minutes anyway, PEP,
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: said President Moss at the end of the room. He
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: slammed his little white fist into the palm of his
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: other hand. It's only a little word, It only has
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: three little letters, P E, p PEP. Moss, standing at
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: the head of the impressive conference table, leaned forward and
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: eyed them fixedly. But those three little letters, my friends,
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: spell out a much bigger word, a much bigger word
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: for General Products Incorporated. They spell profit. And if you
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: don't know how profit is spelled, it's m O N
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: N E y. There was an appreciative laugh from the
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: assembled department heads. Collahan, however, was still brooding on the
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: parade of pink cards, which had been emerging with frightening
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: regularity from his think machine, and he failed to get
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: the point. Naughty, naughty, Grimswitch whispered to him archly. Boss
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: made a funny don't forget to laugh, old boy. Callahan
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: threw him a sub zero look. Now, let's be serious,
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: said the boss, because things are serious, mighty serious. Somewhere, somehow,
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: somebody's letting us down. The department heads looked uneasily at
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: each other, only Grimswitch continued to smile vacantly at the
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: little old man up front, drumming his fingers on the
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: glass table top. When the president's machine gunning glance caught
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: his eyes, Callahan went white. Does he know about it?
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: He thought, I'm not making accusations, said Moss. But there
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: is a let down some place, Douglas, he snapped. Douglas.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: The treasurer did a jack in the box. Read the statement,
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: said the president. First quarter physical year, said Douglas, dryly.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: Investment capital seventeen billion, eight hundred thirty six million, nine
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: hundred seventy five thousand, two hundred thirty dollars ninety six cents.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: Assets eighty four billion, nine hundred and sixty seven million,
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: four hundred and forty two thousand, two hundred seventy nine
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: dollars and fifty five cents. Liabilities eighty three billion, nine
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: hundred and sixty four million, two hundred and eight three thousand,
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: seven hundred and seventy four dollars and sixty cents. Production
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: costs are Moss waved his hand impatiently. The meat, the meat,
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: he said. Douglas adjusted his glasses. Total net revenue twenty
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: six million, eight hundred seventy six thousand, nine hundred and
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: twenty four dollars and ninety nine cents. Comparison the president's screen.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: Let's have last first quarter, you idiot. M Douglas rattled
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: the paper in annoyance. Last first quarter fiscal year net
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: revenue thirty four million, nine hundred and fifty five thousand,
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: three hundred and seventy six dollars and eighty one cent
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: percent decreased. Never mind, the little old man waved the
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: treasurer to his seat with a weary gesture. His face
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: so much like somebody's grandmother, looked tragic as he spoke
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: his next words, you don't need the account of act
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: to tell you the significance of those figures. Gentlemen, His
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: voice was soft, with a slight quaver. We are not
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: making much p R O F I T. We are
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: losing m O N E Y. And the point is,
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: what's the reason. There must be some reason. His eyes
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: went over them again, and Kalahan, feeling like the culprit,
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: slumped in his chair. I have a suggestion, said the president,
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: just an idea. Maybe some of us are just not
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: showing enough p E P. There was a hushed silence.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: The boss pushed back his chair and walked over to
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: a cork blind wall. With a dramatic gesture, he lifted
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: one arm and pointed to the white sign that covered
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: a fourth of it. See that, he asked, what does
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: it say? The department heads looked dubious. Well what does
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: it say, repeated moss. Act, The department heads cried in chorus. Exactly,
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: said the little old man with a surprising bellow. Act.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: The word that made us a leader, the word that
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: guides our business destiny, the word that built general products.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: He paced the floor. The chairs in the conference room
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: creaked as the department heads stirred to follow him with
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: their eyes. Act is our motto. Act is our password.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: Act is our key to success. And why not the
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: brains do the thinking? All of us put together, couldn't
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: think so effectively, so perfectly, so honestly as the brains.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: They take the orders, designate raw materials, equipment, manpower, They
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: schedule our work, They analyze our products, they analyze our people.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: Colahan trembled, there is only one important function left to us,
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: and that's act. The President bowed his head and walked
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: slowly back to his seat. He sat down, with great
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: fatigue evident in his voice. He concluded his polemic. That's
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: why we must have pep. Gentlemen, pep. Now, how do
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: you spell it? Pee? E pee, roared the department heads.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: The meaning was over. The department heads filed out Callahan's
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: secretary placed the morning mail on his desk. There was
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: a stack of memos at least an inch thick, and
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: the personal manager moaned at the side of it. Production
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: report doesn't look too good, said miss Blanche, crisply. Bet
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: we get a flood of aptitude cars from Morgan today.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: Grimswitch has sent over a couple that makes eleven from
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: him this month. He really has his problems, Callahan grunted.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: He deserves him, he thought, how did the meeting go? Huh?
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: Callahan looked up. Oh, fine, fine, Boss was in good
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: voice as usual. I think there's an envelope from him
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: in the stack. What Callahan hoped that his concern wasn't visible.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: He riffled through the papers hurriedly and came up with
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: a neat white envelope engraved with the words Office of
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: the President. Miss Blanche watched him frankly, curious. That'll be all,
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: he told her curtly. When she had left, he ripped
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: the envelope open and read the contents. It was in
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: Moss's own crap handwriting, and it was a request for
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: three o'clock man to man talk. Oh lord, he thought,
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: now it's going to happen. President Moss was eating an apple.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: He ate so greedily that the juice spilled over his chin.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: Sitting behind his massive oak desk chair, tilted back, apple
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: juice dappling his whiskers. He looked so small and unformidable
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: that Collahan took heart. Well, Ralph, how goes it? He
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: called me. Ralph, thought Collahan cheerfully. He's not such a
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: bad old guy. Don't grow apples light they used to
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: the President said this hydroponic stuff can't touch the fruit
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: we used to pick. Say, did you ever climb a
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: real apple tree and knock him off the branches? Collahan blinked, No, sir,
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: greatest thrill in the world. My father had an orchard
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: in Kennebunkport. Apples buy the million green apples, Sweet apples, delicious,
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: spy Baldwin, He sighed, something's gone out of our way
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: of life. Ralph, Why he's just an old deer, thought Callahan.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: He looked at the boss with new sympathy. Funny thing
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: about apples. My father used to keep him in barrels
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: down in the basement. He used to say to me, Andrew,
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: he'd say, don't never put a sour apple in one
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: of these barrels, because just one sour apple can spoil
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: the whole derned lot. The boss looked at Callahan and
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: took a big, noisy bite. Collahan smiled inanely. Was Moss
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: making some kind of point. Well, we can't sit around
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: all day and reminisce, eh, Ralph, much as I enjoy it,
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: but we got a business to run, don't we, Yes, sir,
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: said the personnel manager. Mighty big business too. How's your
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: side of it, Ralph? Old personnel of that coming along nicely, Yes, sir,
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: said Collahan, wondering if he should voice his fears about
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: the brain marvelous machine. That most marvelous of them all,
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: if you ask me, sizes up a man beautifully, and
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: best of all, it's one hundred percent honest. That's a
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: mighty important quality. Ralph Collahan was getting worried the boss's
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: conversation was just a little too fulkesy for his liking. Yes, Sir,
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: a mighty fine quality, my father used to say, Andrew,
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: An honest man can always look you in the eyes.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: Callahan stared uncomprehendingly. He realized that Moss had stopped talking,
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: so he looked him squarely in the eyes and said
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: he must have been a fine man. Your father. He
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: was honest, said Moss. I'll say that for him. He
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: was as honest as they come. Did you ever hear
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: of Demagio? It sounds familiar, it should. Demagio was a
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: legendary figure. He took a lander and went out into
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: the world looking for an honest man. And do you
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: know something, he couldn't find one, You know, Ralph, sometimes
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: I feel like Demagio. Callahan gulped. And do you know why,
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: because sometimes I see a thing like this. The boss's
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: hand reached into the desk and came out with a
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: thick bundle of pink cards, and I wonder if there's
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: an honest man left in the world. He put the
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: cards in front of Collahan. Now, Sir, said Moss. Let's
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: talk a little business. These cards are all pink. That
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: means dismissal right, that's twenty four people fired in the
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: last month. Is that correct, Yes, sir, said Callahan, unhappily.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: And how many cards went through the personnel of act
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: this month? Forty? So that's twenty four out of forty
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: a batting average of the Boss's brow puckered. Well, never mind.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: But that's quite an unusual record, wouldn't you say so? Yes, sir,
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: But so unusual that it would call for immediate action,
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: wouldn't it. The President's face was now stormy, Yes, sir,
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: But I checked the brain, did you, Ralph? Yes, sir,
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: And the maintain of act said it was perfect. There's
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: nothing wrong with it. Nothing wrong. You call twenty four
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: firings out of forty nothing. The old man stood up,
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: still holding the core of his apple. Well, I don't
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: understand it either, mister Moss Callahan felt due on his forehead.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: Nothing seems to satisfy the brain anymore. It seems to
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: develop higher and higher standards or something. Why, I'm not
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: sure it wouldn't even fire? Who said Moss, thunderously? Who
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: wouldn't it even fire? The thunder hit Collahan squarely. He
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: swallowed hard and then managed to say, anybody, sir, me
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: for instance. The President's face suddenly relaxed. I'm no tyrant,
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: my boy. You know that I'm just doing a job,
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: that's all, of course, sir. Well, all I want you
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: to do is keep your eye on things. It could
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: be a coincidence, of course, that's the logical explanation. He
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: narrowed his eyes. What do you think, Ralph, me, sir,
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: said Ralph, wide eyed. I don't think, sir, I act sir,
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: good boy. The boss chuckled and clapped his hand on
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: Collahan's shoulder. Moss was momentarily satisfied. The personnela VAC burped.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: Callahan picked up the card with a groan. It was pink.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: He walked over to the action chute and dropped it inside.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: As it fluttered down below, Callahan shook his head sadly.
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: Thirty one, he said, he placed the next personnel record
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: into the information chamber. He flipped the lever and the
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: personnela VAC, now hot with usage, winked, chittered, chortled, and
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: chuckled with amazing speed. The burp was almost joyful as
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: the card popped out, but Kalahan's face was far from
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: joyful as he picked it up pink. Thirty two, he said.
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: The next card was from Grimswitch's department. It was subject
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: to number five two zero nine eight. The number was familiar.
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: Klahan decided to check the file Sam Gilchrist, he said,
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: couldn't be anything wrong with Sam, while he's a blinking
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: genius flip, wink, chortle, chuckle, burp pink, poor, Sam, said Callahan.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: He fed the other records through quickly, pink, pink, pink.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: At the end of the day, Callahan worked laboriously with
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: a blunt pointed pencil. It took him fifteen minutes for
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: the simple calculation sixty seven tests twenty three o K
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: forty four Kllahan put his hands to his head. What
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: am I going to do? Grimswitch followed Callahan down the
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: hall as he came out of the boss's office for
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: the third time that week. Well, he said, fatuously, Quite
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: the teacher's pet these days, eh, Callahan, go aw eh,
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: Grimswitch on the carpet, Eh, temper a little short, don't worry.
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: Grimswitch's beefy hand made unpleasant contact with the personnel man's shoulder.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: Your old friends won't let you down, grim Switch. Will
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: you please leave me alone? Better watch that think machine
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: of yours, Grimswitch chuckled, might fire you next, old boy.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: Callahan was glad when Morgan, the production operator, hailed Grimswitch away,
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: but as he entered his own office, Grimswich's words still
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: troubled him. Grimswitch, he thought, that fat piece of garbage,
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: that big blow hard, that know it all. Almost savagely,
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: he picked up the day's personnel cards and flipped them carelessly. Grimswitch,
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: that louse, he thought. Then he had the idea if
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: Grimswitch was still chewing the fat with Morgan, then his
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: secretary would be alone if he called her and asked
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: for Grimswitch's record. No better yet, got miss Blanche to call.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: Why not, he thought, After all, I am the personnel manager.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: Sure it's a little irregular. He is a department head.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: But it's my job, isn't it. Callahan flipped the intercom
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: and proceeded to call Miss Blanche. His hand shook as
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: he placed Grimswitch's card into the personnelovac. The machine, though
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: still heated by the day's activity, seemed to take longer
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: than usual for its chittering, chuckling examination of the pinholed
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: facts on the record. Finally, it gave a satisfied burp
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: and proffered the result to Colin's eager hand. Ah, cried
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: the personnel man gleefully. He walked over to his desk,
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: wrote a quick note on his memo pad, and placed
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: both the note and card into an envelope. He addressed
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: it to Office of the President then he dropped it
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: into the action chute. When it was out of sight,
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: he rubbed his hands together in happy anticipation. When Miss
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: Blanche announced that President Moss himself was in Collahan's outer lobby,
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: the personnel manager spent a hasty minute in straightening up
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: the paper debris on his desk. The old man came
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: striding into the room, exhibiting plenty of p E P,
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: and he seated himself briskly on Callahan's sofa. Sharp eyes, Ralph,
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: he said, sharp eyes and a quick wit. This business
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: demands it. That was a sharp notion you had doing
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: a run through on Grimswitch. Never trusted that back slapping fellow.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: Callahan looked pleased, trying to do a job. Sir, put
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: your finger on it, said Moss. Hit the nail on
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: the head. It's just like my father said, trees go
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: dead on the top, Callahan. The boss leaned forward confidentially.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: I've got an assignment for you, big assignment, Yes, sir,
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: said Kalahan eagerly. If Grimswitch is a sour apple, maybe
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: other department heads are too, And who knows it knows.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: Moss pointed a finger at the personnelovac. I'm rounding up
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: all the aptitude records of the department heads. They'll be
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: in your hands in the next couple of days. Feed
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: 'em in, root em out. Spot the deadwood Callahan act act,
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: echoed Klahan. His face flushed. The old man got up
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: and went over to the brain marvelous machine. He said, honest,
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: that's what I like about it. As Moss went out
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: the door, Callahan could have sworn he saw the Personnelovac wink.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: He walked over to it and fingered the lever. It
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: was turned off, all right. It was an interesting week
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: for Callahan. Morgan, the production man, was fired. Grimswitch came
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: up to see the personnel man and tried to punch
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: him in the nose. Fortunately he was a little too
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: drunk and the blow went wild. Seagram, the Shipovac operator,
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: was fired. Douglas, the treasurer, was permitted to keep his job,
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: but the Personnelovac issued a dire threat if improvement wasn't
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: rapidly forthcoming. Wilson, the firm's oldest employee, was fired. In fact,
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: seven out of general products twelve department heads were greeted
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: by the ominous pink card. Callahan no longer plagued by doubt,
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: felt that life was definitely worth living. He smiled all
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: the time. His memos were snappier than ever. His heels
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: clicked merrily down the office hallways. He had p E P.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: Then the most obvious thing in the world happened, and
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: Callahan just hadn't foreseen it. His record card came up.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: Have you run through the stack yet, Miss Blanche asked
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: just about? Callahan looked at her guiltily. He pushed his
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: glasses back on the bridge of his nose. A couple
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: more here, he said, Well, we might as well finish up.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: Mister Moss would like to have the schedule completed this afternoon.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: It will be that's all, Miss Blanche, his secretary, shrugged
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: and left. Callahan went to the personnelovact with the record
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: in his hand. The file number was six thirty. Don't
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: let me down, he told the brain. He placed the
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: pinholed card into the machine and flipped the lever. It winked, chittered, chortled,
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: and chuckled with almost sinister softness. When the card was
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: burped out at the other end, Callahan took it out
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: with his eyes firmly shut. He walked over to the
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: action shoot mechanically. His hand hesitated before he dropped it inside.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: Then he changed his mind, walked back to the desk,
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: and tore the pink card into the smallest possible shreds.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: The intercom beeped. Mister Moss wants to, said his secretary Callahan. Yes, sir,
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: don't act so innocent, Callahan. Your report isn't complete. It
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: should have been ready by now. Yes, sir, you're not acting, Collahn,
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: you're stalling. No, sir, Then where's your personnel of AC report? Colahan? Eh?
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: Where is it? Collahan wrung his hands. Almost ready, sir,
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: he lied, just running it through now, sir, speed it up,
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: speed it up. Time's a waisting boy. You're not afraid,
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: are you? Callahan? No, sir, then let's have it. No
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: more delay. Bulled by the horns expected in an hour,
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: Kllahan understand, yes, sir. The boss clicked off. Callahan groaned audibly.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: What can I do? He said to himself. He went
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: to the brain and shook his fist helplessly at it.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: Damn you, he cursed. He had to think, he had
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: to think. It was an effort. He jerked about in
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: his swivel chair like a hooked fish. He beat his
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: hands on the top, He paced the floor, and tore
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: at the roots of his hair. Finally exhausted, he gave
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: up and flopped ungracefully on the office sofa, abandoning himself
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: to the inevitable. At that precise moment, the mind being
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: the perverse organ it is, he was struck by an inspiration.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: The maintainer aac bore, an uneasy resemblance to Callahan's own
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: think machine. Wilson, the oldest employee of General Products, had
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: been the operator of the maintenance brain. He had been
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: a nice old duffer, Wilson, always ready to do Kala
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: Han a favor. Now that he had been swept out
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: in Colahan's old purge, the personnel manager had to deal
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: with a new man named Lockwood. Lockwood wasn't so easy
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: to deal with. Stay out of my files, mister, he said.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: Callahan tried to look superior. I'm the senior officer around here, Lockwood.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: Let's not forget that them files is my responsibility. Lockwood,
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: a burly young man, stationed himself between Callahan and the
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: file case. I want to check something. I need the
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: service records of my brain. Where's your requisition? Paper. I
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: haven't got time for that, said Callahan, truthfully, I need
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: it now, you fool. Lockwood set his face like a
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: Rushmore memorial. Be a good fellow, can't you. Callahan quickly
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: saw that wheedling wasn't the answer, all right, he said,
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: starting for the door, I just wanted to help you.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: He opened the door just a crack. Sure enough. Lockwood responded,
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: how do you mean help me? Didn't you know? Callahan
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: turned to face him. I'm running through an aptitude check
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: on the PERSONNELOVAC Special Department head check mister Moss's orders.
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: So I was just getting around to yours, but I
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: figured i'd better make sure the brain was functioning properly.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: He grew confidential. You know that darn machine has been
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: firing everyone lately. A little rock slide began on Lockwood's
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: stony face. Well, he said, If that's the case, I
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: knew you'd understand, and said Callahan very smoothly. Eagerly, the
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: personnel manager collated the records of the Personnelovac. They were
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: far more complex than any employee record, and it took
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: Kalahan the better part of an hour. Any moment he
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: expected to hear the President's angry voice over the intercom.
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: His anxiety made him fumble, but at last the job
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: was done. He slipped the record, marked by a galaxy
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: of pinholes, into the brain. Now we'll see, he said, grimly.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: Now we'll find out what's eating this monster. He flipped
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: the switch. The PERSONNELOVAC winked. It was several minutes before
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: it digested the information in his chamber. Then it chittered,
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: It chortled, it chuckled. Callahan held his breath until the
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: burp came. The card appeared. It read subject p V
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: eight mechanical rating nine nine eight seven, Memory rating nine
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: nine ninety five Personal VAC analysis non current rating one
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: hundred analysis. Subject operating at maximum efficiency, equipped to perform
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: at peak level, is completely honest and does not exhibit bias, prejudice,
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: or sentiment in establishing personnel evaluations, cumulative increase in mnemonic
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: ability analytic ability improving. Callahan walked slowly over to the
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: action shoot as he finished reading the card. However, it
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: read because of mechanistic approach to humanistic evaluation, subject displays
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: inability to incorporate human equation in analytical computation, resulting in
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: technically accurate but humanistically incorrect deductions recommendation fire him. Callahan
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: dropped the pink card into the chute. In half an hour,
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: the action wheels of General Products concluded their work, and
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: the PERSONNELOVAC had winked for the last time. The End
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: of this success Machine by Henry Slesser