Latest / Alive & Kicking: Stories of Waking Up with Kay Eck / Interview with Majid Zafer | Awakening through Intentional Upleveling

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Interview with Majid Zafer | Awakening through Intentional Upleveling · Alive & Kicking: Stories of Waking Up with Kay Eck

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Alive and Kicking Podcast.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_01: I'm your host, Kay Eck, and this is where we talk to ordinary people about their extraordinary lives.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to the Alive and Kicking Podcast, everybody.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: I am excited to have as our guest today Magid Zafer.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, Magid.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, Kay.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Good to be on here.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so glad that you could join us.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: And earlier today, I was trying to remember how we actually got connected.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: And it was one of those situations where one day we weren't connected, and one day we were.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and you know, I think I've just been trying to I saw a lot of your work online and I'm like, man, I think I'm gonna steal some of it.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, oh, who is this lady?
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I just love what you wrote, and uh and just the you could feel the intention behind your writing.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I um and I think I just might have reached out and said, hey, love your stuff.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm super glad that you did, and I've enjoyed our brief chats together and look forward to many more.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's like getting started today.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: So um I wanted to, when I was looking at your Facebook page, I saw that you you're we're referring to yourself as a conscious capitalist, and that your mission is to put the planet and people before profit.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: So I was wondering if you could kind of take us through what that means, what it means to you, and how you got to that place.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: Sure, you know, um I I've been I've been very fortunate.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: I've always kind of uh worked or been in places that I've liked to play in, right?
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um and for me, you know, being a conscious, I mean, that's a good tagline, you know, on on Facebook.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: What would it but what it truly is, is a way to um when you're when you're being a certain somebody, then you everything that you do is an expression of that.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Therefore, when you're in business, you know, business is just an expression of where you are in life, right?
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: And the impact that you're looking to create.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: So in my life today, there's multiple points from being a father, parent, business owner, just is um, and my uh my businesses are the expression of where things are today for me, you know, everything from um taking what I've learned uh in the health space from from having to work, um, my mom and my wife struggling with autoimmune conditions and chronic pain.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, uh 20 years later, kind of learning, growing, and being able to now help others with improving their health, their finances, things of that nature, to my tech stuff where you know I've um I've always been kind of a hippie with a suit on, right?
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: So uh I've I've been really passionate about uh about the environment, about making sure that this planet uh not just survives us, but we leave it better than we found it, right?
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: So being able to make an impact on uh making sure that there's no pollutants go on the air in the soil, things of that nature.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: So truly where I am today is an expression of uh of of who I am and and it lets me explore further.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: And uh exploring, uh exploring and implementing and making moves, you know, uh in that realm just helps me live my truth.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's just a good way to end that piece.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: And the thing that I find so incredible about that is like it's it's really a complete paradigm shift because in the past we've always kind of thought of ourselves as you know, personal self and then business self, and they were separate.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: And we we brought one person into our life and one person into our workplace.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: And have you were were you ever in that dynamic?
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: And did you find that that didn't work for you at some point?
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Or how did you end up absolutely, you know, I um I was very lucky where I started in um with energy, uh basically a deregulation of energy back in my early 20s, um, you know, got to a point where I had enough of a book of business to where I was financially independent in my late 20s.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: And when I got there, um, you know, and I had the realization of, hey, if I want to work, I can.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: If I don't want to work, you know, I don't have to.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: But then it it really paralyzed me in a in a way because I was like, I thought I would be happy getting here, right?
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: Now that I'm here, I thought I would be feeling amazing.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: And what it was was I chased an accomplishment um for a certain feeling.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: And when the feeling was momentary, it made me question everything, right?
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: So at that point I just said, okay, I mean, it wasn't that's where my journey really began, right?
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: Of uh really kind of uh stick sticking to the missions, you know, and being and having it be uh more purpose-driven than just um you know, just the grind, as they call it, right?
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and I and it it what it was, it's it's a world of duality, right?
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: And when you live in a world of duality, your energy is split.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, there's only so much you could create within that space.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: So for me to be able to kind of it just made it, it was an it was just natural to combine those two worlds because how you do something, you know, it really becomes how you do everything.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: And if you and if you don't operate in that mode, then you know you truly can't bring all yourself into uh what you're doing, you know, whether there's something always holding you back, or there's some that some person that you want to be, that you can't be within certain situations.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so when you find a path that allows you to completely um, you know, basically your expression of who you are, what you're focusing on, uh all those are aligned and uh and communicated through um uh through what you're doing, right?
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Then you know ROI becomes the happiness, right?
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I mean, and truly, you know, that being the the the the North Star has um been extremely impactful for me and and really brought things together.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: And uh now do things always work out the way that you want to?
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it's usually a lot worse, right?
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's uh because you're you're rubbing against the sand, you're going against the grain, you're doing things outside of what people think you should be doing.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: And um, but what because it requires a lot of pivots, right?
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: When you're trying to live your truth, um, you know, and you've been doing something a certain way for so long, it rubs at you when you start evolving past who you were.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: And if you if you stay where you were, it rubs at you, right?
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, in order for it to not rub, sometimes you got to pivot.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: And those pivots are truly faith in yourself.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: And once you get there, then you know, and you get a taste of that.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think anyone fully, you know, takes it on, like the uh, you know, step one, but when you get the taste of it and you just say, hey, you know, yeah, things didn't work out, but man, I really enjoyed that process.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, then I think you've you've won, and you know, you're owning the feeling before the accomplishment at that point.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, that you've said so much there, and I I um yeah, I I am curious about a few things.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: One is how you define duality and how you overcame that or how you brought it all together for yourself.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_01: And then the second question I have for you is this pivoting.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um would you say that that is like that it's required that you sometimes leave your comfort zone and that you're now stepping into a no new area without a safety net?
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: Is that kind of how it uh yeah, that's called possibility, right?
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: So um, you know, there's usually an invisible safety net, you know, in possibility.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it it's just and that safety nest is it's basically uh you not blue just believing in yourself, but you just focusing on the the things that you know that you need to do to create the impact, right?
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: And when you're focused there, um then you you know it's it's amazing how the world works, you know.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: The whatever vision that we have, if we know how we're gonna accomplish it, then the vision's really not big enough, right?
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's limited to who you are, where you are in your current present moment.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: But like when you really put a vision out there that's way bigger than you, then you're gonna need to attract the right people, you know, uh, and be in a process to where it's gonna lead you to where you need to be, right?
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and it's and it's not about accomplishing that vision, it's about that just being your North Star and you're enjoying the process on the daily.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times, I know this is true for me, that the end result is far greater than anything you could have actually imagined, right?
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: Because that was out of the realm of your possibility.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: So to create outside of where of what's possible today, right?
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: In order to create outside of what's possible today, uh, you can't make those decisions based on what you know.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's really where people get stuck, is like, oh, I know this, therefore I could only operate within this, right?
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: And when you could take that that I don't know and make that something that's thirsty and yummy, right?
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: Then you know, then and you change your relationship to it, um, where you see the um opportunity within the adversity, and and then you and it's kind of like once you're there and you don't know what you're what you really should be doing or you know, making things happen, that's really when I think things start coming together, right?
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like uh it's kind of like when you you find uh this car that's absolutely amazing, you love it, you've never seen it before, you buy it, you take it off the lot, and you see it everywhere, right?
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that it's it's the same, it's the same way when you're when you're in that empty space, uh where you could create, but you have that thought in your vision, then when you step outside of that lot and you start just you know traveling around the world, you know, with through conversations, through media, whatever it might be, you start seeing the you start it it comes into your awareness, all the uh things that might have been missing for you, or people that might have uh could connect you to the right people, all that starts coming together once you uh once you leave your you know just your past behind a bit.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: And when it comes to duality, um, yeah, you know, duality comes in many, many forms, right?
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: And um mostly, you know, duality and integrity are very much cousins, right?
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um and what it is is like, and that's really where I brought in how you do something is how you do everything, because that's duality and integrity all in one little loop, right?
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because in in duality, it's basically, hey, this is where um these are the things that I I am doing, but it's not in line with how I am once I you know get off the clock, right?
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and in duality, there's there's a lot of inner conflict, right?
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: Because even though you might be, you know, uh outwardly successful or whatever, you know, uh hit your hit your benchmarks, right?
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: Went to school, got a good job, all those benchmarks that you're supposed to hit.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: But as you're hitting those benchmarks, you know, you start realizing, huh, you know, am I where's the happiness at?
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I and I really believe happiness is an uh inward conversation, right?
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you when you start when your integrity is only based on on following through on what you tell others, there's duality, right?
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you don't have that same process for yourself, there's duality, right?
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: So if you start following through on all the things that you tell yourself, then you actually believe in the things that you say, and when you follow through for everybody else, but you don't follow through for yourself, you create duality.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: And in that energy, you know, you can't really create it's because it's not it's it's not based on your circumstances, it's because you've really programmed yourself to say, hey, you know what, um for anything external, I'll make it happen, but anything having to do with me, I I don't deserve it, you know, I don't uh you know, I it can't happen.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like all that internal self-talk just happens based on our programming, you know.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just about how how much do you love your programming, you know?
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: And if you do and it's bringing you happiness, great, go for it.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: And if it if it doesn't, if it's not working for you and need to explore, then you know that it's then everything's available.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's interesting what you say about um how much you love your programming, because there's like the programming, and then you're then there's like your attachment to the programming because you don't know that you're programmed or you don't know any other way, and you're you're like afraid.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_01: You've you've been it's like you're um, you know, it's like an alcoholic and their relationship with alcohol, like you you love alcohol because it it is your life, you know, it's the the same kind of thing, and you really have to step into the void when you let go of all that programming because you don't know who you are, yeah.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: And and really that's the place to start, right?
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: I think when um what as soon as you try to think you figured it out, right?
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: If you think you figured yourself out, what you don't realize is that you're an expansive being, right?
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like who you are, like it I always say, like, hey, if if if your dreams came true, the ones that you had when you were 16, you'd probably be in trouble today.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: So it's it's really um it's it's truly about trying to um operate from not just within, um, but having being happy through the process, really, you know, um, because everything else is kind of BS.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I the way that you're describing it, I kind of think of um duality as being a like a separation between yourself and your truth.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, you can see how you can kind of separate those two.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_01: And one example of that would be how you behave with your family or your partner, and how you behave with your employees or your business associates, that there's some kind of disconnect there.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm wondering if these principles also apply to your personal life.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: 100%, you know, like I said, it's um when you're a certain way with your children, you know, employees are just a different form of children, right?
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: The corporation is a you know, it's its own body, right?
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's also a child, right?
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: Technically.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: So um, you know, if you're used to uh, you know, eating full and you know starving your kids, great, that's how it's going to be for your corporation, also, right?
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: If you're good at you know sacrificing what's needed today for a better tomorrow, then that's it's just truly about, you know, are the decisions that you make in your family or in your business, um do they rub?
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: You know, are you different?
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: Uh you do you operate in a in a different format?
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, sometimes you might have to, not saying, you know, um that you could be that with everybody because you know, all children are different, right?
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: All children need to be dealt differently, with, you know, with differently.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: But if you come from the right space, it's not just in your action, right?
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: It comes from the right space.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: What is and really knowing what space to come from is probably more important than knowing what decision to make.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because you can mess up on a decision, but if you came from the right space, it's usually a lot easier to mend through it than if it didn't come from the right space and you knew it.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_00: Now you're bringing not just your bad decision, you're bringing guilt, you're bringing shame, you're bringing, you know, all the different other things that you put on it into the situation.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_01: You know, that's uh that's like you're answering the question that I was uh going to ask you, which is I I believe, which is how do you navigate when your truth is going to upset the apple cart?
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like let's say with another generation in your family.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, so it sounds like that's it.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's the space that you come from.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: How did you have to navigate anything like that in your life?
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm first generation uh Indian.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I was born in India, I came here.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: I have uh parents who are fairly orthodox around certain things.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: So uh, you know, I've had to push that envelope quite a bit, right?
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: So um, but you know, my my and that's I'll give you an example around duality.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, my dad and I had a really shitty relationship for a pretty long time, you know.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: And um when my son was born, um, I named him Liam, obviously, and that's not a very Muslim name, right?
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_00: But we we did it for different purposes.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and my dad didn't talk to me for for a little bit.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, at first I was like, oh man, this is great.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I just get to focus on my son.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: There's no external distractions, is what the way I took a look at it.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_00: But then I was like, man, you know, it's it it rubbed on me though, right?
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: It was my duality of hey, you know, be love, acceptance, and everything else throughout 99.9% of my life.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_00: And then I got this one little situation here with my dad where I'm escaping from, and that's my old patterns, right?
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: Of when something doesn't go wrong, cut, get away.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Push away, uh, run, right, whatever it might be.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: But with my dad, um, I really took it on as like, hey, I if I if I'm coming from love and acceptance everywhere else, I also got to come in love and acceptance here.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I literally started messaging him or texting him.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't get responses for months.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but one day he said, Hey, I want to come see my grandson, which was like eight months later.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, when he came, I I took, I took out all the past, right?
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Okay, what could we create now?
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: And through through that love, through that acceptance, and through just letting him have his path, right?
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: And not being judgmental around it.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, today, like he moved to the both my parents moved to Vegas like uh two months ago.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_00: They hear, you know, we we we talk uh our relationships like a thousand times, uh, but I don't think there's been a time it's been better, right?
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: Just so, but it's just it was really about taking that rub and looking at uh and making the decision from the space, not just what would be the most convenient thing to do, right?
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I find that um operating in my own life quite a bit is that you know, when you're going through this process of transformation, there are a lot of areas to uncover.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_01: There are a lot of uh programs and a lot of grooves that you're you know finding yourself stepping out of.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that it it be it can be overwhelming to consider how every last thing is going to be resolved.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I I tell this to myself that I don't have to solve everything at once, I don't have to fix everything at once.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_01: When it's time for those things to be fixed, the opportunity will present itself.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like you had a son, and this gave you the opportunity of, you know, kind of looking at the relationship and seeing what was there and what can be created and new.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_01: So I that's one way that I cope with the overwhelming nature of transformation.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um also like when it comes to others, right, especially ones that we um that might seem toxic in your life or this or that, right?
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: And um, you know, separation, I think is I don't think it's a bad thing at times, right?
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but it when it comes to communication with them, right, it's really about this again, the space that you communicate from, right?
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and you know, for me, um, when it comes to that, in every complaint, no matter what complaint it is, there's always a commitment behind it, right?
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't have a commitment, you don't complain, right?
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like if if someone doesn't care enough, they're not gonna say something, right?
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: They're like, all right, whatever, like that dude's, you know, and they just move it forward, they never say anything.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: But if someone actually says something about something, they're actually committed to something, that's why they're saying it.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_00: So one of the things for me that uh that I've worked on, I continue to work on, is that when I speak, you know, am I speaking from my complaints or from my commitments?
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I I you know, so it's just, and if you could speak from your commitments, uh, like I'll give you an example.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_00: Uh let's say that I left my socks out that should be in the hamper, but they were right outside the hamper, which is something I do and I'm working on it, right?
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: So my wife could definitely say, Hey, you know, why are those out of the out of the uh hamper?
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_00: I've told you a thousand times, you know, put them, you know, put them where they're supposed to be, right?
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's definitely, I mean, I would hurt it, took those socks, put it in, but I'm like, ugh, you know, it's that feeling of someone, you know, it was uh it was a verbal slap, right?
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: But then at the same time, if she says, Hey, listen, I'm really committed to keeping a clean house so we could spend more quality time together, hey, could you just put those in the hamper for me?
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_00: The same thing was said, but one came from a complaint and the other came from a commitment, right?
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: So when we speak our commitments first and say what we're truly committed to, then we leave, then we really lay the stage for what um uh whatever the complaint is, right?
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: So it's so I I think for me, when I've when I come across uh the people that I'm in conflict with, right, uh, then I really let my commitments be known before my complaints.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_01: That sounds like a really great way to discern between um toxic relationships that really don't have a purpose in your life, um, and relationships that are just challenging you.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um because there are probably relationships that that don't need to be and don't serve.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_01: But you're what I think what you're saying is that there's no agitation with that.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's an easy like, no, thank you, you know, move, move on.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_01: And the the ones that like it that you keep engaging with in some way.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, a hundred percent.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I think it's and it's also a great way to to take the people who um were not allies and create allies out of them because you know, most people don't take enough of a stand for others, right?
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_00: And if you could take a stand for others in spite of who they're being, right?
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_00: And that does not have to do with them, that has to do with you, right?
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: That that's that's about you clearing a space for yourself, you know, honoring others is definitely honoring yourself, like when you don't honor yourself, you know, it's hard to honor others.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, when uh and that's really where it all starts.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: The genesis of everything is uh is internal focus, and everything kind of scoots on from there.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_01: So, where did you learn that?
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_00: Man, um I I I I want to say I put myself in challenging situations, but um it's also been a constant focus.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, on uh I've had a focus on my internal process for quite a while, you know.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um I've also been really committed to it's I shouldn't say, you know, personal growth, because you know, that's that's where it started, right?
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_00: So it started with, okay, uh, I know that investing in myself is a good thing.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_00: Personal growth is great, right?
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_00: And then you start learning from all the different mentors that are out there, you know, uh Simon Sinek to, I mean, there's thousands of others, right?
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then what happens is you become a parrot, you know, you you start parroting like all the things that they say and all the things that they do.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, you're imitating uh you're imitating uh a process that you think would would be um by applying it to your world, it would make a difference, you know.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_00: But in that space, what it really truly allows you to do is do the experimentation, right?
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_00: When you start implementing thoughts and ideas and the ways of being of others into your process, eventually you see if that fits for you or not.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, once you've when you do that enough, you then you just kind of get into your own groove and you realize that there's no great leader that's ever come that's ever come through that has spoken somebody else's story, right?
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just about creating the most badass story you can create about yourself.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_00: So take every situation, whatever it is, and say, okay, a story's gonna be written, you know, what do we want to write here?
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that is so incredible.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because I think that this is this actually describes a very natural process for and you know, like because there's a lot of people like we were saying it earlier, like who's your true self?
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like you need to find your true self and align with that, or find your truth and align with that and make sure that your self aligns with it.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_01: But the way that you actually do that is like it's the same as a child learning how to be in the world, you learn from your parents and you just imit you imitate, and then eventually, but you do get to this point where no one else's slogans and teachings and what uh t-shirts or whatever fit you precisely anymore.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_01: And if you continue on along the path, eventually you have to come to some sort of truth and come from your own space.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_01: I can remember um probably a couple, maybe maybe two or three years ago.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_01: I I I because that is the process that I went through to learning who I was, and um I was doing a lot of like sessions with you know people, whether they were um, you know, I don't even know what to call them anymore, like psychics or astrologers or coaches.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_01: And after a period, there was this one period where they continued to tell me the same thing.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, why am I paying for this?
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like everybody's telling me the same thing.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_01: And then I also got to the point where um I had some people in my life who were telling me, and of course I solicited it, it wasn't unsolicited.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um, they were telling me things about me that I did not really believe to be true.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_01: And um, but because I had listened to them in other areas for so long, I thought, well, I guess that's who I am now.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_01: But deep down I knew that that that that wasn't me, that wasn't my mission, that probably wasn't where I was gonna end up.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I had to start figuring out where I was coming from.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_01: And that's actually the genesis of this podcast is that um I wanted to hear each individual story because they are so different.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, uh one person, uh Elon Musk, I know, you know, whatever you might think about him personally or business-wise is one thing, but one thing I really took away, but I'm like, you know, is this dude the smartest dude on the planet?
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I I don't know.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_00: So how does he really operate?
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_00: And what Elon's uh, and you you could do your own research around this, but what Elon's really good at, he's an amazing generalist at a lot of different things, right?
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_00: So he's he he knows not just physics, you know, he knows like different areas and create and he's a really well-rounded individual.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_00: And because he's so well-rounded, he could see connection points where most people can't.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_01: Interesting, you know.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_00: So it's the same thing, you know, when we're when we're in our one realm and we stay there, but don't really start exploring others, then you know, we have limited sight, limited vision.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_00: But when we start taking whatever our passions are and start taking a look at the different components of it and become generalists in many different areas, then when we come across an issue or a problem, you know, we have a lot more perspective than what most would.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_00: And that perspective really kind of gives you that uh that sixth sense per se, right?
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_00: Uh you know, there's uh Malcolm Gladwell wrote a book called Blink, and he talks about like thin slicing and like how uh when you take a look at the situation, it you're really taking uh a view at it from like the 10,000 hours of practice that you've had around that situation, right?
• 35:23
  SPEAKER_00: So it's the same thing when you really kind of round yourself out in many different disciplines or different many different areas, then you there's there's a thousand of voices within all those areas.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_00: But if you have a sample of them and not just one or two or three, right, then you know it all blends together.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_00: And then when you and then you kind of feel the truth it uh just through you know the all the different sample points.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_00: So I think the best thing, you know, to do is just keep exploring, right?
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_00: And the more you explore about yourself, uh, which is a lost art, I think.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I think most of our focus has been so external.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I mean, my my really my journey around that area started, you know, in my maybe my late 20s or early 30s.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_00: So I still feel like a baby in it, right?
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I think the more you know, the less you realize how much you don't, right?
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um and but being being in that space of not knowing, that's really where the fire comes from.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's it's about it's that thirst for knowledge, creation, and really the process of creation, right?
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_00: And you want to understand it uh and then you apply it to everything, it's it, you know, you do lead a bit of a magical life.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I I think that's really a um what is the word I'm thinking of?
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_01: It's a it's definitely in support of expanding your network because what I love about your what you're saying is that each person comes to a particular um bit of knowledge from their own set of exposures and internal workings, and so everybody can take all this information that's available to us and each synthesize it into a particular point of view, and and then we're all all doing that together as well.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_01: And so it kind of like it's just becomes this beautiful kaleidoscopic understanding of the world that's constantly shifting based on who you're who you're meeting, and and and that's how the whole grows as um that's really like the conscious collective per se.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, right?
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so I want to switch gears here a little bit, not really, but um so you and I once were talking about the lifestyle that um you have crafted for yourself and your family, and it's a very similar to um that that Mr.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_01: Money Mustache talks about, right?
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_01: And so can you explain a little bit um about that lifestyle choice that you've made and how that works?
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, you know, it just like like I said, it just came down to what was I looking for, right?
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_00: When I was in my 20s, you know, I did not mind traveling, you know, two weeks out of the month, which I was doing, you know, working 60, 80 hours.
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_00: That was fun.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_00: I was uh, you know, but when I realized that we could have children, so my wife was told we could never have kids.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_00: So when we found out that we could, you know, that put like a question mark in my head that said, well, you know, when I have these children, do I really want to be away for two weeks out of the month?
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_00: My my dad was also an entrepreneur, and you know, I saw him on the weekends, which I'm really grateful for.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_00: He, you know, put um he put a lot of you know working for our family, but is that how I wanted to live my life?
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and I was like, well, I definitely want my wife to be able to be home to raise our kids, um, because that's what she wanted, right?
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and I was like, well, I also want to be at home too and experience that with them.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I'd already, you know, um, through real estate and other projects, you know, I already tasted uh passive income.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and I knew that that was my way out.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_00: So I I did both.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_00: I found ways to lower my expenses, um, and I uh found ways to up my passive income.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, uh the good thing is that that kept compounding.
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so our our lifestyle per se, you know, the comforts of life have been getting better.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I will tell you this from the time I made that decision to do that, that's you know, spiritually everything started getting better just because I was more aligned with where I was going comparatively just doing something to do something.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_00: I I truly believe that, you know, uh that shaped me into the person as I I am today.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm sure everyone's had some type of uh event in their life that's happened that you made that made you question, right?
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_00: Well, does who I am today work for the next chapter?
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um and you know, it could have, could I have made it work?
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_00: Would my wife, kids, would they have been fine?
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_00: But would I have been fine with it?
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_00: You know, uh would it be the would it be the best possible situation, right?
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times we're not trained to really take a look at the best possible situation that we could create for ourselves.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_00: We are so uh we're we look at the best possible situation based on who we are today, right?
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_00: But not based on who we could be tomorrow, right?
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_00: So uh so then life just kind of becomes stagnant a bit, right?
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_00: And that's really where all those things like resentment and this and that have time to creep in, right?
• 41:31
  SPEAKER_00: But when you're when you realize what your true north is, and then you then the steps become a lot more clear on what you should and could do to get there, and that's ever evolving too, you know.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like the the I stopped focusing on just the doing of things, right?
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I really started to focus on the being of things, and um it's it's been transformative, uh, and I I truly I you know I imagined being here, you know.
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_00: We all have a thought of hey, I'd love to be a full-time dad and be at home with my wife, with my two kids, raise them on our own, you know, all that adventures, all of that.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but you don't know how it's gonna become a reality, right?
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_00: But if you focus on the being, what's happened is me focusing on the being has surrounded me with such amazing people, and you hit on the head, it's truly your network, right?
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I've spent so much time and effort in making sure I add value to others, uh, that that has come in and um and is a reflection of the life I get to live today, right?
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I think it's been uh it's been a blessing, but I also think that it's also a process of creation, and I believe anybody could really take that on is just not going to be like anything that you think it's gonna be like.
• 43:06
  SPEAKER_01: So and and I think that we're it it what's occurring right now is that people are understanding that their happiness matters, and in the past, our parent, you know, my parents and grandparents, that was never even a question.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_01: That did not matter.
• 43:25
  SPEAKER_01: Their individual happiness did not matter.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_01: What mattered is, you know, sort of the things that they were told they had to do, which was to work to support your children in this way, and um, these were the roles that everybody played.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, so we're as we're breaking out of that um that cage, there's a lot to learn about how that uh can be accomplished because we don't have that many examples of it to follow.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_01: And so you're really kind of helping to pioneer that.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I see that in my children for sure, they have a very clear understanding that they're not living to work.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_01: They're working to live.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I expect that that understanding will deepen within them.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_01: And that, you know, the next generation to follow will be even more involved in the process.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_01: And we, you know, the people my age and older aren't even accustomed to asking the question, what would make me happy?
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_01: And they don't, you know, that even just asking the question conjures all kinds of guilt and um codependency and all this stuff, you know, that you have to wade through and break through and crack off before you can even ask those questions.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes just the asking of the question is actually traumatic for people because it it's breaking things that you're that you're used to and that other people are depending on you following and being in the mold and not breaking.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that we're really at this incredible time, and I see it as so positive and so enriching and so amazing.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_01: And that is really where I see like the the future, like the positive future for humanity moving.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I I realized I realized something when I was um I don't I don't even know how long ago, but I realized that I really didn't know how to be with myself.
• 45:38
  SPEAKER_00: And it was it, I mean, it was uh it was way in the latter part of my life, right?
• 45:43
  SPEAKER_00: Where if I really had some time to just chill and sit, you know, I couldn't just sit with me.
• 45:51
  SPEAKER_00: I had to have a book, I had to be listening something, watching something.
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_00: I need to have some type of external stimulus.
• 46:00
  SPEAKER_00: Because if that wasn't there, I was like, okay, I don't even know how to just sit and be with myself, right?
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I think the the because of today and the technology and you know everything that's available to us today, if we've you know, there's so much external stimulus, uh, that it's that's what it is, it's stimulus, right?
• 46:26
  SPEAKER_00: But stimulus is fleeting, you know, it it's kind of like uh it's it's a blowing out of the candle, right?
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, you're so pissed off about stuff like you you're you're not gonna enjoy the cake at all, right?
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_00: So it's I I think that the true journey is can you be with yourself for an extended period of time?
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and if not, that's a great starting point.
• 46:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, I and I I I truly believe as people, uh you know, there's a way to listen to yourself, right?
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_00: And you will get answers, it's just you gotta learn how to listen to yourself, and listening to yourself comes from a space of silence and nothing, yeah, you know, and can you create that for yourself?
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_00: Now there's tons of ways to do it, you know.
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but but if you can't do that, then let that be the marker to say, why can't I sit with myself without any distraction for an extended period of time?
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_00: Why can't I be with myself instead of needing needing to be with a friend, with a spouse, with a you know, why isn't the time that you have with yourself the most enjoyable time?
• 47:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and when you start exploring that, you know, then you kind of start understanding why, you know, but when you start becoming uh, and then there's a progression where you go from why to okay, what can I do to be with myself?
• 48:19
  SPEAKER_00: You know, what are some things?
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times, yeah, do will you have to face face some trauma?
• 48:24
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of times people can't do that just because they're not ready to face who they've been.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_00: And really that this that's such a ghost, right?
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_00: Uh that kind of invades our body, right?
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_00: That we we look at it and it goes boo and we back off, right?
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_00: But that past, you know, the reason I call it a ghost is because it does not exist anymore, you know.
• 48:58
  SPEAKER_00: So we're we're focused so much of our current being based on who we've been.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_00: You can't create moving forward because every time you look to create, you're gonna bring all that baggage with you, right?
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_00: And that's a heavy load to try to carry with you into every situation.
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but if you could leave that the doorstep and come in with nothing and saying, okay, if I'm in this, here's a situation, here's here's everything in front of me.
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_00: Who do I need to be to create the best outcome here?
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_00: And then you figure it out, right?
• 49:37
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I I think it's uh it's I mean, happiness is a big marker, right?
• 49:48
  SPEAKER_00: It lets you know if you're on the right path, right?
• 49:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but it's not the end all beyond, you don't chase happiness, right?
• 49:56
  SPEAKER_00: You become it, and there's a very big difference in chasing it and becoming it.
• 50:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, wow.
• 50:05
  SPEAKER_01: So, how how are you raising your children that was that would be considered different from how you were raised, with given what we've been talking about?
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_00: You know, um I personally try not to do much when it comes to raising them, right?
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_00: I I really focus on raising myself, right?
• 50:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, more than I do on raising my children because I already know they're not gonna listen to what I say.
• 50:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's they're gonna be more uh I think they're gonna get a lot more from who I'm being, right?
• 50:38
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't just share the good with them when I'm I want to have an you know okay day.
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, hey man, I'm having an okay day, you want to go for a walk, you know.
• 50:48
  SPEAKER_00: So then it gives them permission to also be to to do that, right?
• 50:53
  SPEAKER_00: So I I don't always treat them as children in a way where I I just treat them as companions and I'm a guide, right?
• 51:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not a um because whatever thoughts, anything I try to teach them that's uh outside of like kindness, empathy, like all the important things, those are gonna be obsolete in 20 years, anyways.
• 51:17
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 51:17
  SPEAKER_00: Those those constructs might not work in 20 years, like you know, your parents teaching you finances right now, uh, I mean, or 20 years ago, none of that stuff is relevant today, right?
• 51:31
  SPEAKER_00: So with my kids, one thing that might we we homeschool.
• 51:37
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, we have a pod of uh 13 other families, and we get together and we we homeschool together, and uh we're looking to uh so but the the biggest thing is that I really focus on my myself and my growth and sharing that with my children.
• 51:56
  SPEAKER_00: Now my children are just two and five, but I will tell you that children are ridiculously not just observant, um, but they they take on you emotionally also.
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_00: If you ever notice children, you know, when they're by you, they're feeling you a lot more than they're talking to you, right?
• 52:22
  SPEAKER_00: So when you could keep a clean space internally and come from a clean space, not just when things happen, but when things when they do things that you would normally blow up at, right?
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have every justification to do that?
• 52:43
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 52:44
  SPEAKER_00: But if you could come to them and say, hey, I you and I both know that was a bad decision, but it has nothing to do with who you are, and it was a bad decision, but that that he's not really upset with you, but with the decision that you make.
• 52:59
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the biggest distinction I would say I try to make for my kids is that you know, who you do is not what you are, or what you do is not what you are, right?
• 53:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's who you're being within the situation, and and I so I I think my focus has really been with them on teaching them how to respond to life, uh, not what to do in life, right?
• 53:22
  SPEAKER_00: They'll figure that out by themselves.
• 53:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 53:25
  SPEAKER_01: So do you do you how do you teach them to go within?
• 53:30
  SPEAKER_01: How do you encourage that?
• 53:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I mean, I mean, we we meditate together, uh, or I mean, I usually meditate and they'll come in in and out, right?
• 53:42
  SPEAKER_00: So it's it's more about them watching my process and learning from that than trying to teach them a way of uh how to do it because you know, and I think just a response, you know, to how to be instead of like what to do, um them them kind of distinct distinguishing between those.
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I've I've noticed like empathy and kindness and different things come into their outer in their outer play, like you know, they go to camp when we're not there and they're doing the same things that they're at home.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_00: Uh actually they're a lot better outside of the house.
• 54:23
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if every parent has noticed that, but uh but it's it's truly because I mean I feel that I don't want to burden them with what has worked for me, right?
• 54:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's it because I'm setting a limitation, right?
• 54:44
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever I goal I have for them, that's a limitation also, because who says they can't supersede that goal and then some?
• 54:54
  SPEAKER_00: But if I'm if I'm giving them this thought to hey, look here, and that's all they're focused on, they won't see the plug, you know, the abundance around all of that.
• 55:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I truly want them to live within possibility.
• 55:09
  SPEAKER_00: And so it also helps me a lot as an individual because I, you know, I could say, hey, when this situation comes up, and the more ridiculous the situation, the the the more chance that I have to show them that, hey, this is how you could take a crappy situation and make it good, right?
• 55:35
  SPEAKER_00: Make it serve you.
• 55:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's the biggest thing is you know, having whatever is in front of you make it serve you, and uh and uh and then also enjoying the process in the way, right?
• 55:47
  SPEAKER_00: So I I I'll, you know, so it's about being a bit more vulnerable with your kids and and then you know, just understanding that that they're gonna learn a lot more from who you're being than anything that you could tell them to do.
• 56:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, definitely, definitely.
• 56:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's I mean, it's a little bit daunting as a parent to know that your children are not only doing what you do, trying it on, but they're also thinking what you what you think, trying that on, and feeling what you're feeling.
• 56:18
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's it's really important to be responsible for yourself first and foremost.
• 56:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 56:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know, my my son will ask me, he's like, Dan, why don't you get mad like mommy does, you know?
• 56:30
  SPEAKER_00: Uh or you know, what why are you why are you not upset?
• 56:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, hey, yeah, I could be upset, but still keep my internal space clean.
• 56:40
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 56:41
  SPEAKER_00: I could I could understand what the situation is.
• 56:44
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I I don't go in into it with him like that, but you know, so I just know that my my by me being a certain way, they're starting to question conventional reality too, right?
• 56:58
  SPEAKER_00: So all I know that I'm gonna be is perspective for them.
• 57:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so just try to create as much perspective as possible and then not take them away from other perspectives either, right?
• 57:13
  SPEAKER_00: The reason that I wanted him to have the relationship with my dad and then others is that I want him to also understand um, you know, the struggles that other people go through, you know, whether it's mentally, whether it's being a prisoner of their past, you know, because if I try to shelter him from all that, you know, he's not going to have perspective.
• 57:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that for our kids, the greater the perspective that they have in life, uh the more well-rounded they'll be.
• 57:45
  SPEAKER_00: And then they'll have a lot more data points to pick and choose from to be able to make the best decisions for themselves.
• 57:53
  SPEAKER_00: And hopefully those decisions are based around their happiness.
• 57:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 57:59
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like the more I have observed the raising of children, my own and other people's, and just, you know, that's just such a huge part of our existence.
• 58:11
  SPEAKER_01: It it remains a mystery to me how these children actually get raised, because it there's so many factors, and no no two children are affected by the same family in the same way.
• 58:23
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just like a lot of it is a bit of a mystery to me.
• 58:27
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, so your approach makes a lot of sense to me.
• 58:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the one other area I wanted to talk to you about today is um how you I may be putting my own words on this, but I feel like you are committed to being a connector.
• 58:46
  SPEAKER_01: And um, you've certainly connected me with people, and I see you doing this on your Facebook page.
• 58:54
  SPEAKER_01: And um what role does that play and why is it important to you?
• 59:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, there's um Gandhi was a, I mean, I guess he's an influence for every Indian, but you know, but uh one of the things that he said is that, you know, if you have a hundred people who absolutely believe in you and what you're doing and what you're creating, then there's nothing you can't change, right?
• 59:23
  SPEAKER_00: So for me, truly it's about building my tribe.
• 59:26
  SPEAKER_00: And the way that you build your tribe is uh you interact with them, right?
• 59:33
  SPEAKER_00: Not just converse with them.
• 59:35
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there's a big difference in just you know giving people advice and then actually doing things to kind of help them move forward, uh, not to take not to take away their pain, you know, uh, which is which is something that I had to learn, right?
• 59:51
  SPEAKER_00: We we're not here to take people's pain away, um, but really kind of be the space of love and acceptance to where they feel safe, to where they could create, right?
• 1:00:01
  SPEAKER_00: Where there's a whether that's a judgment-free zone, whatever it might be.
• 1:00:05
  SPEAKER_00: So just take a um, so I I do believe that if you can connect with people there and you know you evolve together through different perspectives, right?
• 1:00:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um then eventually uh something or the other, some good comes from it, right?
• 1:00:28
  SPEAKER_00: Whether um, and you know, it's it's just a hundred percent, zero percent.
• 1:00:33
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you you give without expecting uh really anything back because that's really where the pain and the hurt and all that kind of stuff comes, anyways, you know, is and it's not a and it's truly not about them, right?
• 1:00:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's about like it's about you've chosen who you're gonna be in every situation, you bring that to every situation, you know, and um, you know, helping people not just connect but grow, um, you know, give them a little bit of insight, you know, that could help them unlock their next step.
• 1:01:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I especially like doing it with people like 18 to 25.
• 1:01:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, number one, because it keeps me connected, right?
• 1:01:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because I mean, I would never have learned like 90% of the things that I've learned around uh investment stuff, crypto stuff, all types of stuff.
• 1:01:36
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't for that age bracket, number one.
• 1:01:39
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:01:40
  SPEAKER_00: So um, but also the this is the way I take a look at it.
• 1:01:44
  SPEAKER_00: When you invest in people early, uh it's kind of like having your first bank account.
• 1:01:50
  SPEAKER_00: You always remember where you got it, right?
• 1:01:52
  SPEAKER_00: Because you remember who added value to you.
• 1:01:55
  SPEAKER_00: And at the end of the day, you know, all I want to be is that first phone call, right?
• 1:02:02
  SPEAKER_00: When someone is excited about something or someone's going through something, I just want to be the first phone call.
• 1:02:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because at the end of the day, like I don't have access to unlimited opportunity.
• 1:02:16
  SPEAKER_00: But if I have a network of people where I'm the first phone call when they think about something cool, eventually I'll find like something cool that I'll probably align with, right?
• 1:02:27
  SPEAKER_00: Or I'll know what what I could shift into if uh if things need to go in that direction, right?
• 1:02:35
  SPEAKER_00: Which really, so my community gives me my um is my invisible safety net, right?
• 1:02:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's my tribes, but I think adding value um to others is just a it's just a way of being, right?
• 1:02:52
  SPEAKER_00: And uh and it's uh and the only time I've been hurt from it is when I've expected something from it.
• 1:03:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:03:02
  SPEAKER_01: My daughter and I have, she's 23, and we've had this conversation so many times because she I she and I both believe that um you know young people have so much wisdom and so much to offer, and um, they're not really respected in the way that they should be.
• 1:03:22
  SPEAKER_01: And they're sort of just overlooked and assumed to be frivolous or you know, immature or whatever, and they're really not.
• 1:03:30
  SPEAKER_01: And um she she is frustrated by this because she's you know moving out into the world and doesn't find that the respect that that she deserves a lot of times.
• 1:03:43
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, we're we're sort of trapped in this paradigm that you have to work your way up to contribute, but at the at the bottom of the pyramid, um, your your your contribution doesn't have value, it only has value as you raise up the pyramid, and it really should be like the other way around, like the people who are um at the it should be the you know the mass of people that have the the wisdom that contributes.
• 1:04:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I I love that.
• 1:04:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I I feel I hope that that's changing.
• 1:04:15
  SPEAKER_01: Do you feel that changing?
• 1:04:17
  SPEAKER_00: You know, um, I think because of all the information that's out there, we have some great thought leaders like yourself and so many others, uh where uh where that age group is definitely looking at more uh options outside of their traditional programming, like Gary V, you know, uh so many others that really kind of lay it out there, you know, and it's it's really not about um now if others are disrespecting you based on where you are as an individual, then that's based on what you tolerate, right?
• 1:04:57
  SPEAKER_00: So like you get in life what you tolerate.
• 1:05:00
  SPEAKER_00: So if you tolerate it is biz because you think it's okay for that to happen to you, right?
• 1:05:08
  SPEAKER_00: So if you think that's okay for that to happen for you, it's more inner work than outer work.
• 1:05:13
  SPEAKER_00: So if you really kind of focus on you know respect for yourself, then others will respect you also.
• 1:05:20
  SPEAKER_00: And if you respect yourself, then you will do the things to just crush life and not really worry about other people's opinions.
• 1:05:29
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and when you do that, then you will find people who are in their 60s that will ask you your opinion.
• 1:05:35
  SPEAKER_00: I've seen it.
• 1:05:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, absolutely.
• 1:05:38
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 1:05:39
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that feels like a good um place to shift gears a little bit and move into our lightning round, if that's okay with you.
• 1:05:47
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go.
• 1:05:48
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 1:05:49
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, number one, what has been your greatest extravagance?
• 1:05:54
  SPEAKER_00: Uh extravagance, I would really say my time, right?
• 1:06:01
  SPEAKER_00: Time, you know, I've realized is so fleeting, you know, and uh so being able to live the adventure that I get to on on the weekly and the daily, uh, I would say that's my biggest extravagance because man, I didn't I didn't really think that would be a reality.
• 1:06:19
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
• 1:06:20
  SPEAKER_01: I don't I don't feel like there could be anything more important that you that you said today, because if we if we imagine how our lives would change if we really viewed our time as our most precious thing and planned how we wanted to spend that time and made decisions that was not frivolous of our time and um wasted it or or whatever.
• 1:06:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's just intentional living, right?
• 1:06:49
  SPEAKER_00: And in order to you know live intentionally, well, you have to be in control of your time.
• 1:06:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, that's beautiful.
• 1:06:56
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 1:06:57
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, number two, how do you feel about wearing a costume?
• 1:07:02
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I mean, uh metaphorically or yeah, like as a principle.
• 1:07:08
  SPEAKER_00: Uh you know, um I listen, uh whatever your freak flag is, fly it, right?
• 1:07:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, whatever uh task or action or you know, makeup or no makeup's a uh a costume, right?
• 1:07:24
  SPEAKER_00: A certain way, or uh there's so many different ways to uh put over something that's not, right?
• 1:07:34
  SPEAKER_00: So basically, or a distraction from self, right?
• 1:07:39
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm all about it, you know.
• 1:07:41
  SPEAKER_00: I live in Vegas, I see costumes on the daily, right?
• 1:07:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but it's uh it's can you take it off?
• 1:07:50
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 1:07:51
  SPEAKER_00: It it just enjoy wherever you're at, yeah.
• 1:07:55
  SPEAKER_00: But can you take it off and still be in the same state of being?
• 1:07:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and and know whether it is uh an avenue of self-expression or a way to hide, because there's a big difference in that.
• 1:08:08
  SPEAKER_01: But but hiding if you need a break is okay too, you know, like a thousand percent, man.
• 1:08:13
  SPEAKER_00: I that's why I got the mountains around me.
• 1:08:15
  SPEAKER_00: I just you know get up and go.
• 1:08:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:08:20
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, what is your favorite rainy day activity?
• 1:08:23
  SPEAKER_01: I know it doesn't rain much in Vegas, but so it's even more precious, right?
• 1:08:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, uh we we really like being out and about here in Vegas when it rains, you know.
• 1:08:35
  SPEAKER_00: So uh I I just truly love being with my kids, some type of activity usually with the kids when it's raining, or uh or the complete opposite, which is vegging out, right?
• 1:08:47
  SPEAKER_00: And just movie day or you know, just something that you know uh tickles the insides, right?
• 1:08:57
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times for me, what tickles the insides is watching them experience something for the first time.
• 1:09:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:09:04
  SPEAKER_01: Have you got I know you say you got rid of your TV, but have you guys watched Luca?
• 1:09:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes.
• 1:09:09
  SPEAKER_00: So we so I I do have my my laptop and stuff.
• 1:09:12
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have a TV.
• 1:09:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, we do have a phone for Liam now, um, just so he could he do he's starting to learn to read and you know, different things.
• 1:09:24
  SPEAKER_00: So, and his style of learning is games.
• 1:09:28
  SPEAKER_00: So we have a lot of different games for him to, and we actually kind of cool.
• 1:09:32
  SPEAKER_00: We we get progress reports on it, you know, we get emails saying, hey, this is how he's done.
• 1:09:36
  SPEAKER_00: So it's it's kind of cool, but at the same time, like when it comes to my kids love everything TV, right?
• 1:09:45
  SPEAKER_00: So uh, but we do limit you know screen time quite a bit because someday they're they're gonna do it anyways.
• 1:09:55
  SPEAKER_00: But for now, you know, just to kind of and I that's why I gave it up, is I can't tell them not to watch something if I'm stuck to it all day, um, which I have an addictive personality, so that's what I would do, you know, sports and you know, there's there's a lot of great entertainment out there, right?
• 1:10:13
  SPEAKER_00: And there's times that I do entertain myself or give myself the permission to entertain, you know, to get entertained.
• 1:10:21
  SPEAKER_00: And then there's times that I know that like it's it can't be part of my life, right?
• 1:10:26
  SPEAKER_00: Just based on where I'm at.
• 1:10:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um I even forgot the question that you asked about before I went on this rant.
• 1:10:32
  SPEAKER_01: But I think it was about uh your favorite rainy day activity.
• 1:10:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's it's really uh just just hanging out usually, you know.
• 1:10:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, maybe going out grabbing some ice cream, something like that.
• 1:10:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:10:45
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 1:10:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um, what is your favorite question to ask people?
• 1:10:51
  SPEAKER_00: Are you happy?
• 1:10:53
  SPEAKER_00: You know, that's my favorite question to ask people.
• 1:10:57
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, what do they say usually?
• 1:11:00
  SPEAKER_00: They it takes them a little bit.
• 1:11:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:11:05
  SPEAKER_01: You know, um what do you see as the difference between like happiness and contentment or happiness and joy, or because clearly like we are allowed to be sad, and that and and I feel like we have this with this understanding that sad is the opposite of happy, so you can't be both at the same time.
• 1:11:25
  SPEAKER_00: I think sad is so sad, pain, you know, all those, if we lump them all into one, it's your gift, and it's to understand if you're in your gift or not, right?
• 1:11:40
  SPEAKER_00: Meaning if you've if you ever think about where you do the most introspection, it's usually when you're sad, right?
• 1:11:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's a real quick way to get you because if you don't do it, life will do it for you.
• 1:11:56
  SPEAKER_00: So true, yeah.
• 1:11:58
  SPEAKER_00: If you're not being introspective, if you're not peeling away the layers, if you're not getting to your truth, life will force you into a corner to do it to yourself.
• 1:12:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:12:08
  SPEAKER_00: And so I like celebrating when people are there because I like, hey, I know you went through this.
• 1:12:16
  SPEAKER_00: I want to really know, like, what did you pull out of it?
• 1:12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I know there was some introspection there, like, you know, what came what came from it?
• 1:12:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's you know, it's so it's just really your relationship, you know.
• 1:12:28
  SPEAKER_00: So when I'm in a funk, I'm like, ooh, okay, why am I here?
• 1:12:32
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's really questioning yourself.
• 1:12:35
  SPEAKER_00: Say, hey, I know I'm here for a purpose because life has found a way to kind of get me into this zone so I can figure something out for myself.
• 1:12:44
  SPEAKER_00: You know, what is it trying to say?
• 1:12:47
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and I usually know the answer, right?
• 1:12:51
  SPEAKER_00: We usually know what our blocks are, you know, but being faced with them is another thing.
• 1:12:57
  SPEAKER_00: And if, like I said, if we don't do it, life will make us face ourselves eventually.
• 1:13:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:13:03
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like the the way that I look at what what is happening in the world is that it is providing those opportunities for people.
• 1:13:12
  SPEAKER_01: The external is a reflection of what is happening in here.
• 1:13:18
  SPEAKER_01: So if there's this extreme conflict going on, then it it must exist within us and it is forcing us.
• 1:13:26
  SPEAKER_01: Our our solution to that is not a to jump into the external, it is to jump into the internal.
• 1:13:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:13:35
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, what would your um final question?
• 1:13:37
  SPEAKER_01: What would your TED talk be about?
• 1:13:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, if I were to have a TED talk, good question.
• 1:13:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um I would say maybe um progression over perfection.
• 1:13:55
  SPEAKER_01: Elaborate.
• 1:13:57
  SPEAKER_00: So um how you know when we're focused on, hey, this is this is the perfect way of being, right?
• 1:14:08
  SPEAKER_00: There's there's a lot of way, you know, there's a variance there, right?
• 1:14:13
  SPEAKER_00: Top and bottom.
• 1:14:15
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not about just being perfect, it's giving yourself the grace to know that you're not, right?
• 1:14:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's just uh, and I and I believe when we could respond in that manner, meaning that when we're not where we're supposed to be or who we're supposed to be, which happens to me on the daily, right?
• 1:14:38
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I and but just giving yourself the grace to be able to know that it's okay, and then you get back to where you need to be to create.
• 1:14:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so I think progression, you know, instead of just having because even you know, meanwhile, I shouldn't be like, well, no, I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, right?
• 1:15:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love that.
• 1:15:03
  SPEAKER_01: That's beautiful.
• 1:15:05
  SPEAKER_01: Did you bring a question for me?
• 1:15:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, I I would love to know.
• 1:15:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um I I I know happiness is something, so I won't go with that one, but I would love to know what you when it comes to because you're a creator, right?
• 1:15:26
  SPEAKER_00: And you're not just creating uh a podcast or uh you're truly bringing value to people who might feel stuck or here, but through your personal journey, right?
• 1:15:42
  SPEAKER_00: So your impact's already been created, it's there, it's already written.
• 1:15:47
  SPEAKER_00: What does that impact look like for you?
• 1:15:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like what you know, for your community, um who you're being today is the reflection of them.
• 1:15:57
  SPEAKER_00: So when as you grow and as you expand and as you live on, because by the way, like this is your digital legacy, right?
• 1:16:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like these type of conversations will live way past us, right?
• 1:16:11
  SPEAKER_00: So what is uh what is your wish for your voice?
• 1:16:19
  SPEAKER_01: So in the past, I have talked about leaving this legacy of love, and I feel like I'm at a point where um my service is actually shifting tremendously.
• 1:16:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I've said to a few people recently that um my latest book, Dear Human, was it felt to me like it was the final piece of my role in supporting humanity's ascension, and from here on out, I want to be engaged with celebrating humanity's ascension.
• 1:16:58
  SPEAKER_01: So I see these as two very different stages.
• 1:17:02
  SPEAKER_01: My supporting role is complete, my role as a bridge tender, which is kind of how I've always seen myself, is that mission, mission accomplished.
• 1:17:14
  SPEAKER_01: And but but I don't want to stop engaging with this incredible thing called humanity, but now I'm gonna focus on celebrating it.
• 1:17:25
  SPEAKER_01: And um I don't know what that means or how it's going to come about.
• 1:17:31
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's still the it's still a legacy of my love for humanity, uh, but it's just gonna take a different focus, I think.
• 1:17:38
  SPEAKER_01: And because that's where I am in my path, and I think that's where all paths lead is eventually you're not gonna be healing for the rest of your life.
• 1:17:48
  SPEAKER_01: I I don't really believe that.
• 1:17:50
  SPEAKER_01: I believe that you move through the bulk of the healing and then you start like with the with the true creating from a place of wholeness and healedness.
• 1:18:01
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'm I'm ready for that chapter to begin, but I don't know what it's gonna look like.
• 1:18:07
  SPEAKER_00: Which is a perfect place to start.
• 1:18:09
  SPEAKER_01: Right, right.
• 1:18:10
  SPEAKER_01: That brings us full circle to the beginning of our conversation.
• 1:18:15
  SPEAKER_01: Well, imagine I absolutely love talking to you.
• 1:18:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um, your wisdom and your joy are really uplifting to me, and it's it's such a joy to be with you.
• 1:18:26
  SPEAKER_00: 100%.
• 1:18:27
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:18:27
  SPEAKER_00: I have uh a handful of friends, and I'm I'm I'm grateful to call you one.
• 1:18:31
  SPEAKER_00: You're real good people, and I love the impact you're looking to create and not just looking to create, but are creating, right?
• 1:18:38
  SPEAKER_00: And um your your voice and your book and you know, all these things are uh are going to live past us.
• 1:18:47
  SPEAKER_00: And uh I'm excited to bring some more people into the fold for you.
• 1:18:52
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, thank you.
• 1:18:53
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for being here.
• 1:18:55
  SPEAKER_00: No, 100%, Kay.
• 1:18:56
  SPEAKER_00: I I love you and appreciate you.